The Real Reason You're Still Stressed About Money (It's Not What You Think)

You've tried the budgets. You've downloaded the apps. You've tracked the spending.

And you're still stressed.

Here's what nobody is telling you: the problem isn't the numbers. It's what's happening underneath them: the thoughts, the energy, the emotions you bring to every money decision you make.

In this video, I'm breaking down exactly why that is, and what actually needs to shift first before anything else can change.

You'll learn:

• Why your mindset is driving your financial decisions (usually without you realizing it)
• The real reason avoidance is making your money situation worse
• 3 simple things you can do this week to start shifting your energy around money

This isn't about doing more or being more disciplined. It's about thinking differently and letting the numbers follow.

👉 Watch my free training — Why Budgets Don't Work for Your Money and What Does: [LINK]

xoxo,
Rachel

Where to find me:
Instagram: @heyrachelcoons

Join me for my free training to learn the 5-step RESET Framework: Register HERE

Transcript

Money Problems Beyond The Numbers

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I want to say something that might sound a little out there coming from a money coach. Your money problems probably have nothing to do with money. Stay with me. Because I have worked with thousands of women, smart, hardworking, capable women who have tried every budget on the planet, every app, every spreadsheet. They know what they should be doing, and they're still stuck. They're still stressed. They're still ending the month confused. They're still feeling like no matter what they do, the money just disappears. And here's what nobody is talking about. It's not the numbers that need to change first. It's the energy, it's the mindset you bring to the numbers. Today I'm going to show you exactly what I mean. And by the end of this video, the way you think about money is going to feel very different. So stay tuned. I need you to think about money differently, just for a second. Hang with me here. Money is a tool. That's it. That's all it is. But here's what makes it unlike any other tool in the world it carries more emotion than almost anything else in our lives. Truly, think about it. You could go to the most remote corner of the world, and people would still know what money is and they would still have feelings about it. Think about the person who wins the lottery. That rush of joy, that feeling of abundance and possibility. It's one of the highest emotional highs a person on this earth can experience. And then think about the woman who is drowning in debt, who can't cover her bills, who lies awake at three in the morning, running the numbers in her head and is so stressed about money. The shame, the fear, the exhaustion, all of that. It's one of the lowest emotional lows there is. Money creates extreme emotion. And here's why that matters. Because those emotions don't just sit there, they actually drive your financial decisions, usually without you even realize it. Think of money like a river. When a river flows freely, water moves constantly. It nourishes everything around it. It just keeps going. But when you block a river, when fear makes you grip too tightly, when shame makes you avoid looking at the numbers, when anxiety makes every transaction feel like a threat, the water stops. And then your money stops feeling like it's working for you. Two people can have the exact same amount in their bank account, let's just say$600, and have a completely different experience of those$6, of those$600. One person sees$600 and completely panics. The other sees$600 and feels calm. Same number, totally different reality. Because it's not the number that actually matters, it's the meaning you make behind the number. It's the energy you bring to that number. So here's what I really want you to understand. Every financial decision you make starts here in your head, in your brain, with a thought. And if that thought is something like, I'm just not good with money, your actions are gonna prove that thought to you, right? Every single time. If the thought is there's never enough money, you're literally going to keep living in scarcity and find all of the ways that there's never enough, even if the numbers don't actually call for it. If the thought is money is stressful and I don't want to have to deal with it, you're gonna keep avoiding it. And the avoidance is going to make everything worse. Here's something I've seen over and over again with the women that I work with. They are hesitant to look at their bank accounts. And because of that, they spend more impulsively. Because when you don't know what you have, you can't make intentional decisions. You're just guessing. And guessing always, always leads to overspending, even if you don't want to. The avoidance creates the exact problem that you're afraid of. I saw this in my own marriage. A couple years ago, Brad and I were making more money than we had ever been before. Genuinely, we had more money in our bank account than we had ever seen. And we were more stressed about money than we had ever been before. We were arguing. We were anxious. We felt like there was still never going to be enough, even though the numbers told us otherwise. And what we finally realized was that it wasn't the money that actually needed to change. It was our interpretation and what we were saying about the money that needed to change, the mindset, the emotions, the energy we were bringing to every money conversation that we had about our finances. That's what shifted everything for us. And if you're sitting there right now thinking, okay, Rachel, that sounds great, but I'm actually in debt. I'm actually stressed. This isn't just a mindset problem, it's a numbers problem. I hear you. And I've been there too. And I'm not dismissing that emotion. But here's what I know to be true. Your current situation is not a permanent situation. Where you are standing right now, today with your money, is not where you have to be six months from now. But the energy, the fear, the shame, the avoidance that you're carrying right now in your finances, that is broadcasting a frequency, and your brain and your body are going to keep making decisions that align with that frequency. So we have to change the frequency first. It's so much easier than actually changing the numbers. Let's change the thoughts. I want you to do something for me right now. I want you to think about the last time you opened your bank account. How did your body react in that moment? Did your heart rate go up a little bit? Did your shoulders get tense? Did you feel that pit in your stomach before you even saw the numbers? That's not just anxiety. That's energy. That's your nervous system trained from years and years of feeling stressful about money, responding to money as if it's a threat. And when your brain registers something as a threat, what does it do? It avoids, it reacts, it doesn't make calm, clear decisions. So what if instead of dread, you approached your banking app with curiosity? What if the thought was just, I'm just getting information here? The numbers don't define me or who I am, they're just data. And data can be changed. That single shift from threat to curiosity gives you back your power. Because when you remove the emotional charge that you have around money, you can finally make decisions from clarity, not from chaos. Before I get into the practical steps, if this is something that's already hitting for you, if you're recognizing this cycle that happens within yourself, I want you to know that this is exactly the work I do inside my free training. It's called Why Budgeting Doesn't Fix Your Money Problems. And I'm going to tell you what works instead. And it walks through how to actually reset your relationship with money, not just the numbers, but the deeper stuff that we're talking about, the thoughts, the patterns, the energy underneath it all. The link is in the description underneath this video. It's completely free. And I really think it's going to open up something for you so you can experience money differently. Okay, so let's talk about what to actually do with all of this. Here are three real tangible things you can start doing this week to shift your energy around money. Number one, practice gratitude every single day for what you already have in your life. And I know that sounds simple, maybe even a little bit too simple, but this is what it looked like for Brad and I. We started noticing abundance in the small things, a random check in the mail, a great deal on something that we had already needed, a month where the bill's all balanced and we had extra money in the account. And we started celebrating those things instead of just brushing past them. Every time money flows to you in any amount for any reason, acknowledge it. Say thank you. Write it down. Let your body register it as a win because you are literally retraining your brain to notice abundance instead of defaulting to scarcity all the time. And that retraining changes what you look for. And what you look for is what you will find. Number two, track your wins, not just your mistakes. Most women come to their finances with a highlighter and they highlight everything they did wrong the overspend, the impulse by, the month that went sideways. I want you to start highlighting what actually went right. Did you pause before you bought something this week and decided maybe you shouldn't buy it? That's a win. Did you check your account and not spiral? That's a win. Did you make a conscious, intentional decision with your money today, yesterday, last week? That's a win. Every time you celebrate a good financial decision, you are teaching your brain to move toward more of them. You are building a new identity around money, someone who handles money well. One small win at a time. And number three, simplify. Here's something I've noticed. When women are stressed about money, they often try to add more to their plate, more systems, more tracking, more spreadsheets, more plans. And it just creates overwhelm. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is less. Simplify your accounts, simplify your system, remove all the noise and clutter. Because when things are simple and clear, you're actually willing to look at them. And looking is where everything starts to shift. The budgeting tools matter. The saving strategies do matter, but they will never work at the level they're capable of if the energy underneath them is stuck in fear and shame. Fix the energy first. The numbers will follow. Let me give you some specific language because the words you use when you talk about money matter more than you realize. If your brain says to yourself, we can't afford this, I want you to stop saying that. Don't say that anymore. Replace it with, how would I be able to afford this? One thought, the first one, closes a door, the other opens it, creates opportunity. If your brain ever says, money just always disappears, stop saying that. Replace it with, I am learning how to manage my money with ease. If your brain tells you, I'm just not good with money, stop saying that. Replace it with, I am becoming someone, I'm going to become someone who handles money well. These aren't just like fluffy affirmations you just say to yourself and hope for the best. These are instructions you are giving to your brain, and your brain will start to look for evidence that they're true. That's how it works. Think first, then do, not the other way around. You don't have to change everything overnight. You just have to shift one thought at a time. Now I want to leave you with this. Money is not against you, it is responding to you. The way you think about it, the way you talk about it, the way your body reacts when you see it. All of that is information. And all of that can change. Your job isn't to just chase money. It isn't to earn more and hope that that fixes everything. It's to become the version of you who feels safe around money, who trusts herself with it, who can look at her bank account and feel calm instead of dread. That woman exists. She is already in you. She just needs a different relationship with money to show up. And if you're ready to actually do that work, to go beyond the budget and into the real stuff that changes everything, I want you to watch my free training. It's called Why Budgeting Doesn't Work and What Does. And it walks you through exactly how to reset your finances and your relationship with money from the inside out so that the numbers finally start to work in your favor. The link is in the description below. I would love to see you there. And if this video spoke to you today, share it with a woman in your life who needs to hear it. And make sure you subscribe to my channel because this is exactly what we talk about every single week. I'll see you in the next one.