113: The 4 Reasons You Overspend and What to do About it

Every month, the money is gone. And you genuinely have no idea where it went.

You're not buying anything crazy. You make a decent income. And yet somehow, the bank account is empty before the month is over, and the guilt that comes with it feels awful.

In this episode, I'm walking you through the four specific reasons women overspend, because once you understand your reason, everything starts to make a whole lot more sense.

We cover:

• Why your nervous system is actually working against your bank account (and what to do about it)
• The sneaky way social media and comparison are quietly driving your spending habits
• What poor money visibility really looks like and why it makes every purchase feel like a guess
• The modern convenience trap that removed the one thing standing between you and overspending
• Three simple steps you can take this week to start getting ahead of it

No shame. No lecture. Just real information about why you spend the way you do, and a smarter way forward.

Because you don't have a willpower problem. You've just been operating without the right information.

🎧 Tune in and let's finally figure out what's actually going on with your money.

xoxo,
Rachel
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Transcript

Why Overspending Keeps Happening

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This might shock you. You don't have an overspending problem because you're careless. You're not even overspending because you lacked discipline. You're definitely not overspending because you can't budget. So why does it keep happening? I'm willing to bet you're overspending for one of four very specific reasons. And once you understand those reasons, everything starts to make a lot more sense. Here's what I hear all the time from women who come to me in my coaching programs. They make a decent amount of money. They're not buying anything super crazy, but every single month at the end of the month, they check their bank account and there's not enough left over. And then they genuinely don't understand where it went. The worst part is that these women feel embarrassed about it. They should have all their spending habits figured out by now, but they don't. And here's what nobody tells you overspending is rarely happening because you're just irresponsible with money. It happens because there are invisible forces driving your spending that you've probably never even been taught to look at. And today we're gonna look at all four

Emotional Relief Spending

SPEAKER_00 1:12

of them. So, reason number one, you are overspending because you're seeking some type of emotional relief. When something stressful happens in your life, spending becomes a way to manage those high amounts of emotion in your body. Your body literally doesn't know how to handle all that negative emotion. And so you use overspending as a way to help you feel better. And it actually totally works in the moment because you start to feel better right then and there when you buy something. The problem is that the relief is only temporary. And spending and overspending in the moment often leads to guilt in the long run or struggling financially. And the other problem is that the spending has nothing to do with what you actually want for your life. I had a client who was really struggling with overspending, and she had a really stressful situation happen at work. And instead of dealing with the problem and dealing with the emotions, she went on her lunch break and she went and bought a brand new handbag. And then she came to me two weeks later feeling really guilty and stressed about the overspending situation and how much money she had spent and that she hadn't even dealt with the problem at work. This isn't a character flaw. What's happening here is your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. And that's to take you from a very uncomfortable feeling and bring you back into comfort. And the way it's doing that is by feeling good by buying something. You're trying to find relief through buying things. And in order to help you stop overspending, we don't need to get rid of all that negative emotion that you're gonna feel because that's just life. We just need to know how to redirect those emotions.

Comparison And Social Pressure

SPEAKER_00 3:04

Reason number two, people tend to overspend is because of social pressure and comparison. You're comparing with your friends, your family, the people that you follow on Instagram. They all look like they're living the dream. And so without even realizing it, you start to spend to keep up with that dream. Not because you actually want the things that you're buying, but because somewhere in the back of your mind, you feel like you should in order to fit in with what's going on in the world. And the fix to this problem isn't just to stop caring what other people think about you, because that's pretty much impossible. The fix is to actually get really clear on what your priorities are and what you want in life so that the external pressure that you feel starts to lose its grip on you. And you can make really intentional decisions for the things that you actually want.

Money Visibility And The Baseline

SPEAKER_00 4:00

Reason number three is that you may have poor money visibility. You don't know what's actually coming in every month, and you don't know what's going out of the account every month. And this one is huge because it's impossible to make intentional decisions when you don't really know what's going on in the back end. When you don't have visibility, you don't have a baseline. And when you don't have a baseline, every purchase you make feels like guesswork. If this is you, you're not bad at managing your money. You just haven't had a clear picture of it and you haven't systematized your finances. And by the way, if this is already hitting close to home, I do have a whole free training that walks you through exactly why budgeting doesn't work for most busy women and what actually does. I'm gonna link it below. It's worth watching that training after you finish this video.

Convenience And One Click Buying

SPEAKER_00 4:53

Reason number four is convenience. Now, this one is sneaky in 2026 because in our modern world right now, we have completely removed any natural pause that used to exist when we would spend our money. There are apps and websites and softwares that allow you to do one-clicked buying where your computer literally saves your credit card information and you can buy something with the click of a button. There's also things like Klarna where you can buy now and pay later. There's literally no friction for feeling like the money is gone. And friction is actually what gives you a moment to think about what you're buying. So, no, you're not impulsive. You're just operating in a system that was designed to make spending as effortless as possible. And we could be smarter than the system and we can stop to pause before we make a purchase.

Money Personality And A Better System

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Here is the reframe I want you to sit with today. If you struggle with overspending, it's not about changing who you are, it's about understanding your money personality and how you are specifically wired around money. And then we need to build a system that works within that wiring instead of fighting against it. We're just gonna lean in because here's the truth no amount of willpower is going to override an environment, an emotion, or a belief system that's operating under the surface. You need the awareness first, then you need to make a plan that's actually built for a real human life. So, what do you actually do with this? Step one, identify which of these four reasons resonates with you the most. Is it the emotional spending? Is it the comparison? Is it the lack of visibility, or is it the convenience? Most people have one primary driver for their overspending. And then once you know yours, you can start working with it instead of white knuckling your way through another month. Step two is to create visibility before you try to create control. Before you set up the budget, before you change anything, just look at the numbers and raise awareness. Pull up your account, see what came in, see what went out. Don't judge the numbers, don't feel shame, don't judge yourself. Just look at the numbers and create awareness because visibility is the first step to clarity, and clarity is the first step to actually feeling in control. Step three is to add an intentional pause before you spend something. You don't have to stop spending. You just need to slow down that automatic decision making for a moment. Before you check out online or in person, just ask yourself one simple question. Is this aligned with where I want my money to go? That's it. Not, I can't afford this or am I being irresponsible? Just is this aligned with my future money goals? And if it is, buy it. And if it's not, hold off and wait to buy it. Here's what I want you to take away from this. You're not bad with money. You're not broken. You've just been operating without the right information about why you spend the way you do. And now you have

Three Steps And Free Training

SPEAKER_00 8:24

it. The next step, if you're ready to go a little bit deeper, is my free training on why budgets don't work for your money and what does. It's where I walk you through my reset method to actually feel control, clarity, and peace with your money without restriction, without cutting back everything, and without running a perfect spreadsheet. The link is in the description. So go watch it. I think it's gonna help you so much. Okay, I'll see you in the next video.