The Real Reason You’re Not Taking Action, with Stanley Bronstein | #578

Are you stuck knowing what needs to change in your life, but still not taking action?

If you're in midlife and feel like you're spinning your wheels, this episode is for you. Stanley Bronstein has not only lost over 220 pounds and kept it off for 17 years, but he's transformed his entire life from the inside out. What he shares today is more than motivation. It's a system for lasting change.

In this inspiring conversation, you’ll discover:

• Why shifting from “I have to” to “I get to” is the mental switch that changes everything.
• The four traits you must cultivate to finally close the gap between knowing and doing.
• How choosing excellence over perfection will free you to take consistent action, even when you're afraid of failing.

Listen now and learn how to unlock the power within you to create lasting change - starting today.

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KEY POINTS AND TIMESTAMPS:

01:46 - Introducing Stanley Bronstein and the theme of change

03:31 - Hitting the breaking point and choosing life

06:39 - Starting immediately and taking responsibility

08:29 - The gap between knowing and doing

09:37 - Awareness, truth, and the power of perspective

12:14 - From “have to” to “get to”: Peggy Chun’s lesson

15:12 - Reprogramming the mind and believing in yourself

18:43 - The four pillars: willingness, belief, discipline, commitment

25:13 - Excellence over perfection and constant improvement

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MEMORABLE QUOTE:

“You don’t have to do these things. You get to do these things.”

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VALUABLE RESOURCES:

Stanley's website: https://thewayofexcellence.com/

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Coaching with Agi: https://personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com/mentor

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🎙️ Want to be a guest on the podcast?

Message Agi on PodMatch: https://www.podmatch.com/member/personaldevelopmentmastery

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Conversations and insights on career transition, career clarity, career change and career pivots for midlife professionals, including second careers, new ventures, leaving a long-term career with confidence, better decision-making, and creating purposeful, meaningful work.

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Transcript

Agi Keramidas
(0:00)
The real reason you are not taking action isn't a lack of motivation, information, or discipline. It's something far more subtle. And once you see it, you can't unsee it.
Welcome to Personal Development Mastery, the podcast helping midlife professionals in transition turn uncertainty into clear direction and confident next steps. I am your host, Aggie Keramidas. Join us every Monday for in-depth conversations with experts and every Thursday for shorter solo episodes with insights and tools you can use.
This is episode 578. If you are looking to take ownership of your life and finally close the gap between knowing and doing, this conversation explores how discipline, mindset, and identity can drive lasting personal change. Before we start, if you are a midlife professional ready for change, I offer one-to-one coaching to help you get clear on what's next and create a realistic plan forward.
As a former dentist who has made this transition myself, I know how challenging this can feel. To explore this, visit personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com slash mentor. That's personaldevelopmentmasterypodcast.com slash mentor. The link is in the episode description. Now, let's begin. Today it is my real pleasure to speak with Stanley Bronstein.
Stanley, you know first-hand what it means to reshape your life from the inside out as you have lost over 220 pounds in weight and kept it off for 17 years now. With your work, you have built clear practical systems for lasting change and you show how discipline, identity, and daily action can create a new future. Stanley, welcome to the show.
It's a real pleasure to speak with you today.

Stanley Bronstein
(2:23)
Thank you for having me. I'm glad to be here.

Agi Keramidas
(2:27)
There are many directions that we can probably go to, but the main thing that I would like to explore with you is how to replace, in our inner world, a vague intention of something that we would like to happen with disciplined action so it can actually start being shaped. As a foundation for the conversation, what I would like to ask you briefly from your own story and journey is when you had reached that maximum weight that you had, what was the truth that finally broke through the stories that you had been telling so that made things different?

Stanley Bronstein
(3:31)
Okay. Well, first of all, my maximum weight was 367 pounds, and I didn't reach the breaking point when I was at that weight. I had lost some weight, probably close to 100 pounds, got down to around 265, then got married, got comfortable, and started putting weight back on. I never got back to 367, but I did get up to 320, which was still pretty big.
As I was approaching my 50th birthday, I asked myself where I would be in five years if I kept going the same way. The answer was dead. I didn't like that answer.
I told my wife this was February 1st, 2009, almost exactly 17 years ago. I call that day my rebirthday. I said I'm done tolerating BS in my life, especially from myself. I took personal responsibility. I told her I was going on a journey, and if she wanted to come along, great. If not, that's too bad.
I decided to start right now. I began eating better right away and started exercising right away. My exercise of choice was walking. I quit drinking alcohol immediately and haven't had a drink in 17 years. By the time of my 50th birthday, I had lost about 50 pounds, and I kept going.

Agi Keramidas
(8:29)
I want to go back to something you said about starting right now and bring that to someone listening, especially people in midlife. Many know exactly what needs to change, but nothing changes. I want to discuss that gap between knowing and doing. For you, the trigger was realising that without change you would be dead in five years. For others, it’s not that extreme. What’s missing there? What needs to click?

Stanley Bronstein
(9:37)
The first principle in my system is learning to tell it like it is, awareness. Many people already know their issues. But telling yourself the truth is not enough. You have to act on it.
Actually, let me change that. You don’t have to act on it. You get to act on it. That’s perspective. When you say you have to do something, it’s drudgery. When you say you get to do it, it becomes a privilege.
I learned this from a woman named Peggy Chun, who had Lou Gehrig’s disease. She was bedridden, couldn’t speak or move, yet had incredible joy for life. She taught me the shift from have to, to get to.
Whenever I lacked motivation, I’d ask, what would Peggy do? She would have been grateful for the chance to walk. I could do it. It was my privilege. Change it from have to, to get to. That’s the key.

Agi Keramidas
(14:28)
It certainly does make sense. How did thinking about Peggy help you maintain that shift long-term, especially when someone is used to saying “I have to”?

Stanley Bronstein
(15:12)
It’s easier than you think. Our brains believe what we tell them. Start using can instead of can’t. Focus on the positive.
From my experience, I learned three things. First, I am more powerful than I ever imagined. Second, if I can do this, what else can I do? Third, if I’m more powerful than I imagined, so is everyone else.
Change depends on four things: willingness, belief, discipline, and commitment. Discipline is stopping negative habits and forming positive ones. Commitment changes your identity. When you become 100% committed, it becomes easier.
You step into a different identity. You find a purpose. It doesn’t have to be grand. It just has to mean something to you.

Agi Keramidas
(25:13)
That's a great answer there Stanley, thank you. I want to switch gears and ask about something else. You differentiate clearly between excellence and perfection, and you recommend excellence rather than perfection. How does this distinction change someone's decision-making process, especially when they're afraid of doing something wrong?

Stanley Bronstein
(26:26)
I used to be a 367-pound perfectionist, which is pretty hypocritical. Perfectionism leaves no room for error. Either you succeed perfectly or you fail.
I’m not a perfectionist. I’m a good-enoughist. Good enough is good enough. You can always improve, but cut yourself some slack. You’re human. Mistakes mean you’re trying.
Focus on constant and never-ending improvement. Get better. Don’t quit. Be steady and persistent, like a snail.

Agi Keramidas
(31:39)
Did that answer the question?

Stanley Bronstein
(31:41)
Yes it does. There is power in that.

Agi Keramidas
(32:00)
Stanley, where would you like to direct the listener so they can learn more about you?

Stanley Bronstein
(32:10)
They can go to my website, thewayofexcellence.com. I have seven books there, all free. It’s my way of giving back. If you want to work with me privately or in groups, that’s available too, but if not, download the books and start there.

Agi Keramidas
(33:24)
I’m glad we’re ending on this note. Thank you very much for this conversation. I’ll leave you with the final word.

Stanley Bronstein
(34:28)
First of all, we can thank Peggy Chun for the wisdom of have to, to get to. My parting words are: this is your time. Go for it.

Agi Keramidas
(34:51)
Thank you for listening to this conversation with Stanley Braunstein. I hope it’s given you a fresh perspective on immediate action, personal responsibility, and mindset shifts that make real transformation possible. Until next time, stand out, don’t fit in.