TRUE Wellness with Dr. Dee

Ep.14 Cindy Warden on Breaking Free from Limiting Beliefs & Unlocking True Potential

• Dr. Dee • Season 1 • Episode 14

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Do you ever feel like something is holding you back, but you can’t quite figure out what it is?

In this empowering episode of the TRUE Wellness Podcast, Dr. Dee sits down with Cindy Warden, a transformational coach, TEDx speaker, and expert in helping ambitious women break free from limiting beliefs, childhood conditioning, and societal expectations that keep them stuck.

Cindy shares her deeply personal journey of overcoming self-doubt, people-pleasing, and perfectionism—all of which were ingrained in her from an early age. Through powerful mindset shifts, she learned to rewrite her internal story, break free from patterns that no longer served her, and step into a life of confidence, fulfillment, and success. 

With clients ranging from Grammy-nominated artists and Top Ten Finalists on THE VOICE to entrepreneurs and Fortune 100 executives, Cindy’s on a mission to help women create extraordinary, soul-fulfilling success in every aspect of their lives.


What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ How Limiting Beliefs Are Holding You Back (and You Don’t Even Realize It)

Cindy explains how these invisible mental blocks shape our decisions, self-worth, and even our health—keeping us in cycles of self-sabotage.

✅ The "People-Pleasing Trap" & How to Reclaim Your Power

Discover why so many women put everyone else first—and how to stop seeking validation from others and start prioritizing your own needs.

✅ Why Changing Your External World Won’t Fix the Root Issue

Cindy reveals why simply changing jobs, relationships, or routines won’t bring lasting happiness unless you address the beliefs that led you there in the first place.

✅ How to Identify & Rewire Negative Thought Patterns

Learn actionable strategies to replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones, so you can shift from self-doubt to self-mastery.

✅ 3 Steps to Start Breaking Free Today

Cindy shares her simple yet powerful process to uncover and rewrite the subconscious beliefs holding you back—so you can finally step into the life you were meant for.

Follow Cindy's pages for more updates:

🎧 Tune in now to uncover the subconsciou

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Thanks for listening to TRUE Wellness with Dr. Dee, where we’re redefining health and empowering change. Hosted by Dr. Dee, creator of the T.R.U.E. Wellness Framework, this podcast brings you expert insights, inspiring stories, and actionable strategies to help you thrive.

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🎙️ Your journey to true wellness starts now!

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:30:12
Unknown
Welcome to True Wellness with Dr. Dee The podcast where we explore what it takes to live with vitality, balance and purpose. I am Dr. Dee and each week I'll bring you powerful tools, inspiring stories, and expert insights to help you drive in every area of your life. From health and wellness to mindset and navigating life's challenges. This podcast is your guide to creating a life of true well-being.

00:00:30:14 - 00:00:32:17
Unknown
Let's get started!

00:00:32:17 - 00:00:58:24
Unknown
Welcome everyone to another episode of True Wellness with Dr. Dee. I'm so glad to have you all here and Cindy, I am, thankful to have you here and all the gifts that you have to share with our listeners today. So you guys, I want to introduce you to Cindy Warden, who is she is not just a transformational coach in a Ted speaker.

00:00:58:24 - 00:01:22:01
Unknown
Her Ted talks, by the way, is amazing. We'll make sure that it's in the details of the podcast information for you all so you can watch it. But she is a women's potential expert. What does that mean? It means that she helps women break free from limiting beliefs, all those kind of childhood conditioning and societal expectations that really hold them back.

00:01:22:03 - 00:01:54:09
Unknown
And she works with empowering her clients to release those inner barriers so that they can, you know, step into that more confident, fulfilled person that they want to be unlocking, you know, their personal and professional success, that they know in their hearts that they're meant for. So, Cindy has had a range of different clients reaming, ranging from, you know, Grammy nominated artists and top ten finalists on The Voice to entrepreneur ers and fortune 100 executives.

00:01:54:11 - 00:02:18:04
Unknown
She is, you know, on a mission to really help women create extraordinary, soul fulfilling success in every aspect of their life, which has me really excited because I know that there is so much that we are going to learn from her in today's episode. Cindy, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for having me. I am so excited.

00:02:18:05 - 00:02:39:09
Unknown
This is so great. Yeah, you guys, Cindy and I have been on the Ted journey together and from the very first moment that I heard her first. You know, when we do Ted talks, we go through all these versions of our talk. Right? But even from that very first version of the talk, I was like, oh my gosh, this is such an important message.

00:02:39:15 - 00:03:07:21
Unknown
These are the things that we all need to hear. Because I think, Cindy, we know we get we get stuck sometimes in our own minds. And so most likely we have a negative thought about ourselves. And then it moves into this spiraling vortex that goes into never, never land and never work ourselves out of that spiraling vortex. So I am so glad that you're here telling.

00:03:07:23 - 00:03:29:17
Unknown
I'm so glad to be here. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about your your journey. I mean, I know you've got a very interesting story that I read you down this path. Yeah. My my, childhood was pretty unique. And it was really the foundation for, I think, so many of the limiting beliefs that formed about myself.

00:03:29:17 - 00:04:02:00
Unknown
I grew up believing, you know, that I was some version of inadequate and lovable and defective and, you know, it wasn't until years later that I realized that these were just limiting beliefs holding me back in my life, my relationships, my career. They even impacted my health, which I know we've all talk about. But, you know, before I get into my story, it dawned on me, too, that, there's probably a lot of listeners who have no concept as to what a limiting beliefs, actually.

00:04:02:02 - 00:04:29:19
Unknown
So, yeah. Before. You before I, you know, share my journey. Let me just share a little bit about what a limiting belief is you might think of. It is just like a thought or an assumption that you've come to believe it's true. And the great news is, is that it's not a fact. It is a story that we've been telling ourselves and we think it's true.

00:04:29:21 - 00:04:54:09
Unknown
You know, the limiting beliefs. I mean, don't they? They feel kind of weighty, don't they? Just saying. I think they will be. And I think that that gives them, like a sense of certainty. Yeah. Right. With the sense of they're pretty, they're pretty weighty. And so they really they hold this back in life and really impact what we believe is possible for us.

00:04:54:11 - 00:05:21:10
Unknown
But we can rewrite them. We need to, because they really act as filters. Yeah. The way that we think and feel about ourselves, the way we interpret situations. As I came to find out the impact, the choices, our behaviors that we make, and, you know, just as an example, say, so you grew up with a really critical parent.

00:05:21:12 - 00:05:55:07
Unknown
Yes. You might have a belief. I'm not good enough. Yeah. Maybe. And this is happens to a lot of the women I work with. Maybe they only really felt seen or, celebrated when they were, you know, all your worthiness, you know, is contingent on what you achieve as women. We are subjected, I think, to so many, societal, like, beliefs, you know, these expectations that, I have to look a certain way.

00:05:55:09 - 00:06:22:09
Unknown
You look and accepted. Yes. If I advocate for myself, I'll, you know, appear to be bossy. I have to work twice as hard to be competent or. Or I have to prioritize everybody else over myself. How we see that so much? I can't tell you how many times I go through that with my clients. You know, the things and the about these limiting beliefs.

00:06:22:11 - 00:06:45:21
Unknown
Is they're sneaky. It's like sometimes we don't even know that they're there. They just kind of lurk. And they're like a filter that we see everything through or we don't even know. Like when you walk around with sunglasses for a really long time. It's like you don't know until you take the sunglasses off, like, oh my gosh, I was wearing sunglasses in the house.

00:06:46:01 - 00:07:09:02
Unknown
No wonder why everything was so dark. But that's the thing about those limiting beliefs that it is. I loved that you said that because I think of them almost like background music. Yeah. It's just been playing that you don't even. You don't even realize they're there. Yeah. And, you know, and it's why it's so important to bring them to light.

00:07:09:04 - 00:07:41:17
Unknown
Yeah. Because they do. They just do it. They do impact the way we see things and the and the choices that we make. Yeah. So yeah. So you are so right I love it. You call them sneaky sneaky. Well, and the other thing is too, there's there's no escaping them in the sense that we are all exposed to limiting beliefs and they happen to all of us, you know, and even when we think we may have cleared some out, there might be other little ones that sneak into.

00:07:41:19 - 00:08:03:00
Unknown
Yeah. You know, I always say I was I call them sometimes they're like an octopus. Yeah, right. Like the body of the octopus is this belief. And sometimes the tentacles that wrap themselves around us, you know, they're the these negative thoughts, we think, or like other kind of sub beliefs that grow out of that. But they they hold us hostage.

00:08:03:00 - 00:08:30:10
Unknown
Yes they do. You know, I was a prisoner to my limiting beliefs for so long, and I thought, it's so perfect. My last name is Warden. That's crazy, right? You know, but I just set myself free, so. And it's it is so important that we we do that because I think, you know, so many times we have challenges in life.

00:08:30:12 - 00:08:56:12
Unknown
And it's so easy for us to kind of want to rearrange what the deckchairs on the Titanic that we just think. I'll just change the situation. I'll get out of my marriage or I'll change jobs or if I, I do this. And so we change what is, is happening on the outside and yeah, we feel better, but we never look on the inside to think, gosh, what got me into this situation?

00:08:56:12 - 00:09:20:03
Unknown
Or why did I think I had to stay in it? Yeah. So therefore, because we don't look, we don't kind of examine and go with, then we end up with a rinse and repeat of a brand new version of what we don't want. Yeah, it's not operating system. We didn't change it. It's still working in the background. Exactly.

00:09:20:09 - 00:09:44:19
Unknown
Exactly. We can put a new input in, but if it's going through the same filters, the same system, we're still getting the same version of whatever that was out the other side. Yeah. Totally. Totally. Somebody else say, like a woman. You know, a woman will come to me, you know, and she's just miserable in her job, and she's ready to.

00:09:44:20 - 00:10:17:22
Unknown
I'm ready to do, you know, I'm ready to become a beautician or I'm going to go, you know, I mean, who knows? I'm going to start some whole new career. And I'm like, wait, let's slow down because because we're just going to get a whole new version of what we don't want. And a lot of times when we look at what is driving the misery within the job, it's it's like sometimes it's like we're the makers of our own misery because of these beliefs that we worry and and we don't need to change anything but ourselves.

00:10:17:24 - 00:10:46:18
Unknown
Yes. I always think the subconscious has a way of just knocking. It's like knocking, knocking, knocking, and it's going to allow us to repeat that lesson right over and over and over again until we actually learn the lesson. So if we're not, if we're just ignoring it, pretending like it's not there and not actually dealing with it, then we just get more of the same, even though it may have a different flavor or a different tint to it.

00:10:46:20 - 00:11:09:21
Unknown
Yes, you are so right. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, as I mentioned, oh, I had, I had when we talk about my TEDx talk, you know, I talked about limiting beliefs being this backpack that that we carry now. And, you know, I want to I want to interject here. You don't have to have a whole bunch of trauma in the background.

00:11:09:23 - 00:11:33:19
Unknown
No, not at all. We're all human beings and conditioned. Yeah. It's just. It's what happens from my story. You know, I, I did, you know it. My my journey is pretty unique to me. I as an infant, I was adopted by a couple of fun loving parents. But when I was six years old, my adoptive mom, she was only 41.

00:11:33:21 - 00:12:02:01
Unknown
And she died from ovarian cancer. And, Yeah, talk about, you know, I mean, really experiencing heartbreaking loss at the, at the beginning of my life and looking back on it, you know, I, I think being adopted and then losing a mom at six, how could I not kind of form a belief? Wow. People leave. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

00:12:02:04 - 00:12:28:05
Unknown
And, I'm going to interject because it was kind of pivotal to my story, too. On her deathbed, my mom made a whole list of things that she wanted my dad to do for me. And one of those things was piano lessons. Oh. And so when I was eight years old, I got a piano. My dad got got me a piano.

00:12:28:05 - 00:12:56:14
Unknown
And, I fell in love with music. And it became really apparent very quickly that I was gifted. I picked it up so quickly. By the time I was 13 or 14, I was playing, like songs that were really designated, like advanced for graduate students, you know, and so on. I had a classical singing voice to match my piano prowess.

00:12:56:16 - 00:13:26:17
Unknown
I became a musical theater major, I loved performing. I became a musical theater major, and when I was in college, I discovered my I was funny. That was kind of my jam. And and so I interject that because I got so much positive attention, from my talent. Yes. I really grew to believe that it was where all my worthiness came from.

00:13:26:19 - 00:13:59:24
Unknown
Okay. And it was also my lifeline. And to back up after my dad died. My dad eventually remarried, and I found myself. I just found myself in a family where I did not fit in. I, I still don't. I mean, I just so different. I was this outgoing theater kid, and I grew up, in a in a family that, was pretty reserved, just stoic, quiet.

00:14:00:01 - 00:14:35:08
Unknown
And I felt, well, feeling like I didn't fit in as kids. Yeah. You don't have a lot of logic, right? Brain can't process it. Yeah. You don't have logic to go. You know, I mean, to really understand. Oh, I'm just different. But. And so to me, I mean, that means something must be wrong with me. Right. And, and you know, there were unspoken messages and quite frankly, a lot of spoken messages that I was supposed to be more like warm.

00:14:35:10 - 00:15:14:00
Unknown
That's, that's the way I felt. And so I, I just grew up feeling ashamed of who I was. Yeah. That I should be different than than who I was. I went through a lot of criticism and correction. So much so that I was literally diagnosed with PTSD in my adult life. That's complex PTSD, which PTSD, you know, like, maybe like one traumatic incident that we have to work through complex PTSD, sometimes a thousand little paper cuts.

00:15:14:02 - 00:15:42:15
Unknown
Yeah, right. That add up. And so I went through like over a year of, of treatment, you know, for the CPT that I just, I felt like I wasn't good enough, like I didn't belong. Oh, my gosh, it just I was defective. I mean, it just ran the gamut. And so all of my self-worth got attached to my my career.

00:15:42:17 - 00:16:12:10
Unknown
Yes. Yes. So it drove me, you know, to achieve. I had, you know, some wonderful successes. I did, you know, cartoon voices for Disney. I did, you know, TV with Jim Carrey. Commercials and, you know, stage performances and so on. But given what was, I had a very, I had a very perky and positive persona. And, you know, kids who are traumatized.

00:16:12:10 - 00:16:34:24
Unknown
A lot of times we develop what I call a protective persona. Sure. And, you know, you think that I have a big personality now. Oh, my gosh, the comedy. When I realized, right, people laughed at me. It became a persona that I wore off stage. And then we were at a party. You would have met me, and then you would have needed to take a nap.

00:16:35:01 - 00:17:08:21
Unknown
After or. Okay. It's because I worked so on all the time. And, you know, because I just didn't believe that anybody could love me for who I was. Right. And, and so while it, you know, drove me to succeed more than anything. Danielle, it held me back. Yeah. Because sometimes I could just let setbacks. And Lord knows there's a lot of setbacks in an actor's life.

00:17:08:21 - 00:17:36:01
Unknown
I could allow setbacks to, you know, no big deal. But if it was something I really had my heart set on or, you know, a particular job, I was going for that particular resonance. It just triggered that, just that I, you know, I was worthless and it could just leave me in a fetal position and it could take me weeks to really bounce back and keep going.

00:17:36:01 - 00:18:04:09
Unknown
And, and I think, I think I would have had a lot more momentum. You know, and things could have ended up very differently for me if it wasn't because of the baggage that I was carrying. But, when we get into talking about my health. Yes. I didn't really realize how those limiting beliefs were impacting me until I left.

00:18:04:11 - 00:18:39:00
Unknown
Yes. It's interesting because limiting beliefs impact us all over. And I mean, first of all, thank you for for sharing your story because there's so much there. And the truth is, I think that every single person listening can find something in the story that they can see for themselves in their in their own lives, right? From whether whether our parents intend it or not, intended to say or do things that impacted us in the way that it's had impacts on us.

00:18:39:00 - 00:19:07:00
Unknown
We all walk around having had some experiences that shape and color our entire lives. You know? Absolutely. Yeah. This shape and color our entire lives, you know, and and when we and I think also, you know, it's just we all we all experience something painful, you know, and we develop these defense mechanisms to kind of guard ourselves against them.

00:19:07:00 - 00:19:38:07
Unknown
And, you know, that's another thing, not just limiting beliefs, these coping strategies that we work, we carry in our backpack. And I became I could I could win like gold medals and people pleasing and perfection and approval seeking outside myself. Oh my gosh, I, I was a hot mess. Got it. Well they say right sometimes our biggest strengths are also our biggest weaknesses.

00:19:38:09 - 00:20:10:18
Unknown
Right. And that I think really resonates here. It really it really does. And when I, when I left the entertainment industry, I it was it, it really was catapulted. I went through a divorce. I will say, you know, it was married once before or the husband I'm with now. And, on the outside, we looked like a match made in heaven, but on the inside, behind closed doors, it was pretty dysfunctional.

00:20:10:20 - 00:20:35:16
Unknown
And, it just it became a wake up call. I got to the point I couldn't take it anymore, but. But I was pretty, due to my childhood, I was pretty adept to not having my needs met. And so our beliefs to drive us into situations that are familiar. Yes, they might be. We might be miserable, but they're familiar, and it's what's comfortable.

00:20:35:16 - 00:21:04:11
Unknown
And I got to the point where it was just so uncomfortable for me. I did have to make a change and, you know, I was always focused on him, as, you know, to what he needed to change. And it wasn't until we broke up and, I it was what got me on my personal development journey. Beautiful. I remember one morning looking in the mirror and going, wow.

00:21:04:13 - 00:21:35:09
Unknown
I walked into this knowing that it really wasn't fulfilling. What is about me that made me think this was okay? Yeah, I love that question. What is it about me? You know, so often I find, you know, just in dealing with clients that we are as human beings, we're also adept at really kind of pushing off responsibility because there is there is a lot of sometimes pain, right?

00:21:35:09 - 00:22:04:16
Unknown
Difficulty, vulnerability that comes with turning that mirror around and having to say, okay, how am I contributing to this? Who am I being that has this occur? But there's so much gold there. There's so yeah, there is that there? I, I run into so many people who who will say, I don't I just don't want to look, I don't want to look under the hood.

00:22:04:16 - 00:22:29:11
Unknown
I don't want to look at it because it is painful. It could be uncomfortable, but that's all temporary, right? And it's only how. It's kind of like a wound, right? We have to clean it out in order for it to heal. Otherwise it stays there and it keeps, you know, running the show again, you know, and and, you know, I mean, the healing thing is linear, right?

00:22:29:13 - 00:23:00:24
Unknown
Is right. It's just kind of all over the place, which I found out I started to really, you know, unpack my beliefs. It started with relationship A when I, when I left the entertainment industry, I was looking for a job. Uhhuh. And, and so I had a lot of trouble finding a job because I'd been a performer for over 20 years.

00:23:00:24 - 00:23:21:21
Unknown
And people said to me, what is it? Why do you want a desk job? And I finally got to the point. I just said, I like to eat. Oh. And, and so I finally I landed into a job. The job that was also in the entertainment industry. I was there for a while, and I'll just say I had a position.

00:23:21:21 - 00:23:44:04
Unknown
They liked me. I had proved that I was going to stick around, you know, because people just thought I would get bored and up and leave. And I had a position that was created for me. And, I learned very quickly. Within about a month, I knew I wasn't in a good situation. It was pretty toxic. It was very volatile.

00:23:44:06 - 00:24:14:00
Unknown
And I'm going to interject that, I mean, it just it I mean, I just internalized sure, the toxicity. And I want to interject, Daniel, that there's some people that this that atmosphere, it just went right over their heads for me. There was a lot of it that had a resonance that was very familiar to what I went through as a kid.

00:24:14:02 - 00:24:42:17
Unknown
There was a trigger. Yes. Yeah. And so right, I it, I just internalized it was rinse and rinse and repeat and I say that because, you know, especially as women, you know, just because something isn't a trigger for someone else, it doesn't mean that anything is wrong with you because it is. It's because of your, you know, unique history, your background.

00:24:42:18 - 00:25:10:03
Unknown
You bring this to this situation that somebody to, you know, somebody else doesn't carry. So don't beat yourself up because of that. And so, I, I had my feelings dismissed a lot as a kid. And so by high school, I was dealing with chronic depression, which followed me for over 20 years. I was told that never lived my life of medication.

00:25:10:05 - 00:25:35:06
Unknown
No harm. But I had someone say to me I wanted to leave after a month. It was so bad and I had someone of authority say to me, you will never find another job like this because it has prestige to it. You will never find another job like this and mind you, I had a lot of trouble finding a job.

00:25:35:06 - 00:26:07:23
Unknown
I looked for a year and a half. You'll never find another job like this. Nobody will hire you if you leave now. You need to stay for at least a year. And I also grew up just feeling like, well, I guess everybody knows what's best for me. You know better for me than I do. And, And when your feelings are dismissed, I think you also learn to disregard your intuition, which I know you talk about, you know.

00:26:07:23 - 00:26:42:09
Unknown
Right. You also disregard your intuition. And so I just stuck it out, and pretty soon, I started to have all these UTIs. I started to have a lot of bladder infections. Yeah. And pretty soon that was just constant for me. And I suddenly was, I mean, sick enough. I needed to stay in the job that was making me sick because I needed the health insurance, golden handcuffs for was.

00:26:42:15 - 00:27:16:08
Unknown
Okay. So, I was I was going to work every day doing Vicodin, you know, trying to get through my day. I went through the Western medical, you know, system of trying to figure out, you know, what was wrong. I, I was examined by, you know, some of the top, like, urology departments in the country, and, and I just didn't check off all the boxes for everything, and nobody could give me a diagnosis.

00:27:16:08 - 00:27:48:13
Unknown
And I finally had a old gynecologist, diagnosed me with interstitial cystitis, and I was given a medication for that. I lost half my hair. And with the medication, finally, you know, I had physical therapy and found something else that helped me. And about the time that I was diagnosed, and I was so scared, nobody could figure out what was wrong with me about the time I got diagnosed.

00:27:48:15 - 00:28:15:05
Unknown
I think the day after I lost all the feeling on my left hand side. I ended up in the hospital because of that. And it was just it was my brain's reaction to kind of like, you know, I'm going to live right out the terminal. And it was right around the holidays. And I remember being at my sister in laws, and I had this itch on my chest, and I just kind of you know, went like this around my right breast.

00:28:15:05 - 00:28:47:14
Unknown
And all of a sudden there was this big lump in my breast. Oh, gosh. Yeah. And, it ended up being a cyst. And then after, six, about six months, they went back to check out the. These cells were becoming atypical, meaning they could or couldn't become cancer. And I had to have a lumpectomy and, you know, and so it was I mean, it took a lot.

00:28:47:16 - 00:29:16:11
Unknown
Yeah. For me to finally leave that job. I mean, I was there for like for 4 or 5 years. I mean, this whole thing that went through. And when I look back, why did I say, well, I don't I get in trouble when I disappoint others. This, this job was created for me. Oh, my gosh.

00:29:16:11 - 00:29:47:07
Unknown
You know. So who am I? People. You know, people will be mad at me, you know, I'll never work again, right? You know, the situation was familiar. I was used to tolerating, like, a lot of upset and so on. There was so much employer and so many beliefs I had that I didn't advocate. Sure, for myself, I didn't advocate because of what I believed about myself.

00:29:47:07 - 00:30:22:17
Unknown
And when I left, I knew, I think I'd always known. I loved psychology and I always knew that I wanted to be a coach and and, Danielle, I, I, you know, I had a business coach tell me that my niche was helping burnt out women in the entertainment industry, and that made perfect sense. Right. But I also knew at the time, I wasn't on the other side of what had happened to me enough to really be able to help.

00:30:22:19 - 00:30:51:10
Unknown
Right? Right. So when I talk about, you know, that moment of looking in the mirror after my marriage and going, wait, what is it about Moore that made me think this was okay? And I went ahead and got married and bam! Okay. What is it about Moore that made me stay in this situation again? You know, when you talk about that knock.

00:30:51:12 - 00:31:21:10
Unknown
Yes. That we get that knock. You know, sometimes we get the same lesson in a new version. Yep. Until we really get it right. Or there's healing that we need to do on a deeper level. Yes. And, boy, I had to do a lot of deep inner work, and it's, you know, and it's, But it's been so worth it.

00:31:21:12 - 00:31:45:00
Unknown
It's so worth it. That's the kicker, right. It's a little scary jumping in, but once you're in you're like, oh I wonder if not so bad. This is actually pretty good. Yes. No. Exactly. You know and the getting there may be kind of hard, but the freedom on the other side and you know, and like my people pleasing and and things like that, hey, you know what?

00:31:45:00 - 00:32:07:06
Unknown
That's all stuff that I continue to work on. Boy, I've gotten I've gotten a lot better. But you know, these beliefs. Oh, they still rear, rear their heads. But we have to become aware of them. Yes. Right. We have to look at them and become aware of them to stop and go. Okay. Wow. This is what's going on here.

00:32:07:08 - 00:32:30:05
Unknown
And and I think some people say you don't have to understand where they came from. You know what? For me, and I think for the women I work with, it usually helps to go back in time to kind of understand where they came from, because when you do, you can look at how it help to survive exact situation many years ago.

00:32:30:06 - 00:32:57:11
Unknown
Yeah. Boy oh boy. They are not serving me now. And how do I not left that job? Quite frankly, I'm really not even sure I would still be here. Yeah, yeah, that's so powerful because sometimes it is. We do get, like, we get trapped on down until that trap becomes the wake up call. Like something's gotta shift, something's got to change.

00:32:57:11 - 00:33:24:10
Unknown
And then it depends on us whether or not we have the courage and are ready to step into really examining and taking a look at that. Yeah. Totally. Yeah. So for for our listener Cindy, talk to me a little bit about, you know, because I'm sure they're hearing some version of themselves in these stories. How do they begin to break free from some of these limiting beliefs?

00:33:24:16 - 00:33:48:16
Unknown
How do they even begin to recognize like, oh my gosh, I'm not really running the show here the way I want to be running the show. Something else back there is running the show. How do they begin to start to examine those things? Yeah. You know, I think, boy, a great avenue, I call it, a brainwashing.

00:33:48:18 - 00:34:18:09
Unknown
A little brainwashing, a little brainwashing that, sit down on a piece of paper, sit down with a piece of paper and a pen and, boy, write down everything you're thinking. The good, the bad, and the. Yeah, write something about pen and paper. It's something in this day and age, really? You know what there is. And I mean, how they haven't there been study is that I think, like, you know, using pen and paper.

00:34:18:09 - 00:34:49:24
Unknown
It's like a kinesthetic exercise. It's literally, I think it connects the head and the heart and like actually like, stimulates memories, you know, and things like that. And then the keyboard it is, oh my gosh, you know, love it. Write it down. And, and I think a great question then to ask yourself, after you look at this, you can go, wow, when do I first remember feeling this way.

00:34:50:01 - 00:35:18:17
Unknown
Yeah. Right. And boy, that may take you take you back. I, you know, and and I'm a little jacked, you know, the that the these beliefs, they don't have to come from a big event like, a parent, like the loss of a parent, for instance. Right. To a meal. I remember this minuscule moment at my dad's funeral.

00:35:18:17 - 00:35:44:12
Unknown
At my dad's, my mom's, my my mom's funeral, my adopted mom's funeral. I was just six years old, and I was sitting next to my daddy, and, he was clutching my hands. And the minister must have said something. That's, It made my dad kind of squeeze my hand a little. And I remember looking up at him, and his eyes were bloodshot and just a puddle of tears in his eyes.

00:35:44:14 - 00:36:08:20
Unknown
Yeah. I remember to this day having to start, you know, I had just lost my mommy, but my dad, my poor body, you know? Oh my gosh, I need to be a good girl, you know? And I need to make him. I need to make him happy. And I was so attached to my dad and see, that was such a brief exchange.

00:36:08:20 - 00:36:31:03
Unknown
It was just a moment in time. Right. But it was this little minuscule moment that. See, often when when someone is involved, a person who we deem of authority, like a parent, it could be a caretaker, it could be a teacher, right. You know, or society, you know, whatever. And there's, especially if there's a big emotion attached to it.

00:36:31:06 - 00:37:01:01
Unknown
Okay. And this little minuscule moment right there, I think that was when I began to realize, hey, I'm responsible for everybody's happiness, right? So when we're writing, okay, it's it doesn't have to be some big moment. It can be just like a little minuscule exchange that ran so deep that that is the roots right, of where this came from.

00:37:01:03 - 00:37:28:08
Unknown
Okay. And so you can look at wow, okay. It helped me, you know, it helped me survive, you know, in my environment or whatever as a kid. And there can be, you know, being an achiever, for instance, could be, you know, a great thing. Yeah. Because it I mean, it gets you to a certain point, you know, but like, as if you're putting all your worthiness into it or this idea.

00:37:28:08 - 00:37:55:15
Unknown
I can't disappoint other people. Yes. Wow, wow. Boy, that kept me in a job that almost killed me, you know, and all. And it all dates back to this, and it's not serving me. Yeah, so. So what do I need to do? Okay, well, I need to leave this job. I mean, I put myself in a situation, Danielle, where I had to walk away cold turkey.

00:37:55:17 - 00:38:22:12
Unknown
Oh. Which is scary in and of itself. Right. The future hold. How am I going to do this? But it was having such an impact on your physical health, your mental health, your emotional like all of it. Yeah. And see, that is the point that I got to because I didn't take care of myself. Yeah. When I knew when my intuition was telling me that I needed to.

00:38:22:17 - 00:38:46:17
Unknown
Yeah, but I will learn to disregard all of that, you know? And so I did not. And this is where I ended up, because, I mean, we know all that stress. It causes inflammation. You know, we end up with autoimmune issues, interstitial cystitis, you know, you like, you know, breast lump, you know, all those things that depression.

00:38:46:19 - 00:39:14:22
Unknown
Yes. You know, for me and so on it, I ended up with all of those things because my beliefs kept me in a situation that was not good for me. And, you know, had I done this inner work before that I would have left, I would have been there a month and I would have been Sia. Yeah. I always say though, Cindy, I feel like things, everything happens for a reason, right?

00:39:14:22 - 00:39:40:04
Unknown
Like that's beautiful, the way it unfolds. But sometimes we have to find the reason. Yeah, yeah, sometimes we have to find it. Bad things happen, you know? But sometimes it's like sometimes to get through it. We even make up reasons or whatever whenever you forward. Yeah, but yeah, we have to find that reason and it's, it's a portal of possibility.

00:39:40:06 - 00:40:01:16
Unknown
I love that portal of possibility. That's awesome. Oh, right. It's just like, but if you're willing to walk through it, it's the portal of possibility. The only way out is through. That's so true and so true. And the more and more we push it off or ignore it or avoid it, because I think we have some level.

00:40:01:16 - 00:40:27:01
Unknown
We always have this gnawing sense that, oh, this is I've got I've got to look at this. Yeah, yeah. You know, so, so yeah. So I did a lot of a lot of looking and so on. But, but you know, when it comes to, okay, where did I, what where did I first feel that. So kind of getting back to what I was talking about, I went off on a tangent.

00:40:27:03 - 00:40:51:10
Unknown
Yeah. I mean, where did I where did I first feel this way? Oh, okay. Totally understand, you know, and you can kind of track where that is showing up in your life. And the beautiful thing about beliefs is they're not facts. They're just stories, right? That we told ourselves. We can rewrite the story and we have to consciously start to rewrite it.

00:40:51:12 - 00:41:16:18
Unknown
And so, you know, so if I if I believed that, you know, if I didn't necessarily, you know, if I, if, if disappointing people wasn't on me, what would I do. Well, you know, I would I would have left. And so, you know, it's, it's like we have to start rewriting the story by showing up differently.

00:41:16:20 - 00:41:51:11
Unknown
I love that, right. You write the story by showing up differently and a lot of people don't do it because it's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. We get used to being in our own pattern that doing something outside of that pattern, it feels strange. It feels uncomfortable. Yeah. It becomes a new path. Yeah. Right. And, you know, sometimes they say, you know, like the neural pathways in our brain, you know, it's like a well worn superhighway.

00:41:51:13 - 00:42:23:02
Unknown
When we go to do something different, try to think differently or, you know, or do something differently. It's like we're in a jungle, right? And so it feels uncomfortable. And that is what stops so many people because it feels uncomfortable. Well, if it feels uncomfortable, it can't be right. And I tell my clients in situations like this, if it's uncomfortable, you know, you you're on the right track.

00:42:23:02 - 00:43:00:02
Unknown
It's so funny. It, you know, as you're saying, that makes me think about weight loss, right? So, yes, and a lot of me, there's a lot around weight loss. Right. But one of the things that I see so consistently is people will lose weight. Right? And then they won't they won't know who that new person is. And until they've actually dealt with those underlying issues around their body, around who they are around, you know, so for some people, weight is a is a protection, you know, until those things are dealt with, it's like they lose the weight, but the weight comes back on, you know.

00:43:00:04 - 00:43:22:18
Unknown
Yeah, I mean, it's totally because, you know, our beliefs, it's our identity. You know, they just become an identity. And if we have an identity, you know, this belief, this identity that we are, I don't know that we're not thin or we're not a healthy person or we don't eat healthy. It's like, I see it time and time again.

00:43:22:23 - 00:43:42:04
Unknown
I mean, we just follow up. I can if we go to the way that we were before. Right? You know, it all starts to come back on. So we have to. That's what I'm talking about. Rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic. We try to change everything on the outside. I'm going to eat healthy. You know? I'm going to change jobs.

00:43:42:04 - 00:44:12:13
Unknown
I'm going to change relationships. But if we don't look at the inside and change who we are, the beliefs driving our choices, nothing. Nothing is going to change. And so, you know, I think we look at where we look at all of where this comes from, and we have to start rewriting the story by showing up differently. And I and I, I, I began my personal development journey by just thinking like, you just think positive.

00:44:12:15 - 00:44:40:00
Unknown
You know? And when we don't believe that people if. Yeah. Right. Then it boomerangs. Yes. So I love I love the question. I love saying like, I love the idea. I love the idea of, you know, eating healthy, for instance, or being a person who eats healthy or I love the idea of being someone who advocates for myself.

00:44:40:02 - 00:45:03:13
Unknown
Yeah. I love the idea that my worth is an attached, you know, to what I achieve. You know, I love that. I love the idea of that. That's something we can get behind. Yes, absolutely. Just go into that positive trying to replace it with a positive belief, pretending we got to try to create a bridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:03:15 - 00:45:38:11
Unknown
So we create that bridge and then. Okay. Ask yourself, for instance, what would a person write who eats healthy. What would they do. Yeah. Well they'd close the door on the chocolate cake for the time being. Right? Yeah. Or, Yeah. If I advocate a person who advocates for themselves, they would speak up in this situation, right? Or, if my worth wasn't attached to, like, what I'm achieving.

00:45:38:13 - 00:46:12:17
Unknown
Hey, I might not pull an all nighter, right? Right. I'm going to go get rest, because I know that once I do, I'm going to feel better and I'm going to, you know, just be more alert, thinking I'm going to be better for it in the morning if I take care of myself. Yes, yes. Yeah. What would you say, Cindy, in the work that you do with your clients, what is their biggest barrier to dismantling the limiting beliefs?

00:46:12:19 - 00:46:19:00
Unknown
Oh my gosh. You know, it's because I've been doing it for so long. I.

00:46:19:02 - 00:46:56:08
Unknown
Right. They've been doing it for so long. And there's some kind of pay off. Yes. For it. In psychology, you know, they call it a secondary game. Yes. That, you know, I, I may know, I may know that I'm just going to talk about advocating for myself. Okay. I may, you know, I may want to advocate for myself out here, but if I have the secondary game that when I don't advocate for myself, people like me, right?

00:46:56:10 - 00:47:23:17
Unknown
Right. I say, no, I don't ruffle feathers. I just, you know, I don't disappoint anybody, right? And people like me, and when people like me and I don't disappoint, that is far less scary. But I'm advocating for myself. Yeah. So. So that pay off, that secondary gain is so strong. Yes. Okay. There's a payoff to it that we don't move.

00:47:23:17 - 00:47:51:22
Unknown
And so when I ask a client and, you know, when I ask the client, what's the payoff to this. From this payoff, there's no payoff. It's all awful. You right? Oh. Oh, lovely. I'm miserable. I hate this, you know, blah blah. Oh, my. You know, and then once we realize that it's, Oh, wow. Yeah. Right.

00:47:51:24 - 00:48:21:24
Unknown
And so it's like, Okay. And so that when we realize the payoff that starts to dismantle it, it does. Right a little bit. And so we can start to play with some, you know, alternative ways of thinking, you know, some bridge thinking, like I talk about, like I love the idea of or I'm, I'm willing to try on the belief, you know what that would look like.

00:48:21:24 - 00:48:50:16
Unknown
Yes. For us. And so it's and so here's the deal. We go out and we start just baby steps. Baby steps to try on this. Because if we do too much too soon right. We might get some backlash a napkin derails. Yeah. So just little just little baby steps to test the waters. Our brains are evidence seeking machines.

00:48:50:18 - 00:49:19:03
Unknown
Yes they are right. Or whatever we believe, right. We find proof for it. Yes. Outside. And so when we start, when we start showing up differently, trying to think differently, you know, making different choices, moving through that, you know, being uncomfortable when we start to show off and we get a little pay off. Right? I advocated for myself, wow.

00:49:19:03 - 00:49:50:05
Unknown
Hey, just the way I felt. Wow, that felt good. Yeah. I remember you said yes. And so then you see, our brain starts to get the evidence seeking. The brain starts to get the evidence. Oh, yeah. When I advocate for myself, I feel good. Oh, okay, let's do it again. Right. And so that that starts to build up.

00:49:50:07 - 00:50:13:01
Unknown
Yeah. It builds a new neural network, literally builds a new neural. It was a workshop. And down that jungle and building that new neural pathway, you know, and it's, you know, it's been proven right that, you know, when we don't use a neural pathway, it's like we start to lose the synapses, right? It's just like it's that disengages and we start to form a new one.

00:50:13:05 - 00:50:41:03
Unknown
We start to form a new identity. Yes. Right. As someone who advocates, I am someone who advocates for myself because we do it over and over again through repetition. And we have to remember that belief that became so ingrained. We can get there overnight. Exactly right. It's going to take a little time and patience and self-compassion for right.

00:50:41:05 - 00:51:01:05
Unknown
Just that so much self-compassion for ourselves that we're doing the best we can. But with time, you know, and that's why, you know, the work that you do, you know, is so important. So and the work, you know, that I do is, is, you know, it's just like we're kind of we can kind of be accountability partners. Yeah.

00:51:01:05 - 00:51:38:09
Unknown
Yeah. You do for. Yes. Accountability partners for people and and cheerleaders. You know, you're doing it great that we have this. They have this person that advocates for us advocating for ourselves for example. Yeah. Yeah. That's really, really, really powerful stuff. So Sydney, I always ask all of our guests, you know, what are three actionable things that our listeners can begin to take on after they've done listening to this podcast that can help move the dial for them in their life?

00:51:38:11 - 00:52:13:13
Unknown
You know what, Danielle? I'm going to go to those three questions that I, that I asked during my Ted talk. Right? So I love to just, you know, I mean it because it really I mean it works well, number one, think of an area of your life as you listen to this, where you want more success. Yeah. For instance, maybe something's going on in your marriage, you know, or with your kids, you know, or something, or, what's going on in your career?

00:52:13:15 - 00:52:39:03
Unknown
Your health, your weight, you know, whatever it is, even. Hey, I, I have clients that, you know, they don't want any downtime. Downtime is bad, right? Because they've learned. They've got to achieve, you know, all their worthiness is there. So, you know, even more free time, downtime and and so name that in your mind. Okay. Where what is that area.

00:52:39:04 - 00:53:09:03
Unknown
You know what it is. It's the first thing that comes to your mind okay. And then ask yourself to I can't succeed in this area because good class right. Because you get the stem sentence you fill it in. Well gosh, I can't disappoint others or, you know, it's my job to take care of everybody else, or, you know, free time.

00:53:09:03 - 00:53:33:10
Unknown
Well, I I'll be looked at as lazy. I mean, it's it's crazy. And when we look at that, well, we uncover the belief that is that is holding us back. Right. Okay. And so if you were to kick that curve or kick that to the curb for good, like if you lost your ability to even think it. You know what would be possible for you.

00:53:33:12 - 00:54:01:03
Unknown
Yeah. What would you do. You do something different. Yes. And you do something different than you're doing right now. And so then the thing is, you got to take a deep breath and you've got to go make that change and make that change a little at a time. But if you just go through that three step process and take action, nothing changes.

00:54:01:03 - 00:54:39:18
Unknown
Unless you take action. You can do it. That's right. You can start and you can think the thoughts all day long that you have got to give your brain that evidence through the action you take your day off to truly be transformation. Yes, yes, knowledge is powerless without action. Perfect. You're right. You're so right. Beautiful. All right. Well, thank you so much for being here, for being vulnerable, for sharing your story, for, you know, thank you for having me.

00:54:39:20 - 00:55:03:17
Unknown
Yeah. I think, you know, we all get we all get stuck. And then sometimes we're like, why are we stuck? And so this has been really eye opening and and giving our listeners a new way to begin to start to look at the things in the life and the areas of their life where where they're not satisfied and where things aren't going the way they want them to go, and then giving us power and control over making the choices.

00:55:03:17 - 00:55:26:02
Unknown
So thank you so much for that. Can you share with our listeners who may just be listening? Maybe they won't see the information in the bio. Share with them how they can find you. Cindy. Oh, okay. So, my website is Cindy gordon.com. You can find me on Instagram at Cindy Warden Coaching. And Facebook. I guess, you know, you can look me up there.

00:55:26:02 - 00:55:46:00
Unknown
I'm on LinkedIn, you know, as well. And so I'm not not quite a TikToker yet. I need to get with it. I mean, either know. So yeah, just give me the program. But, yeah, that's where that's where they can find me. And, you know, I would love please reach out. I, you know, would love to love to connect with you.

00:55:46:02 - 00:56:05:17
Unknown
Love it. Thank you so much. Thank you for for being here today and for sharing your gaps. And thank you for going through your journey of life so that you could be here to impact all the other lives that you're going to touch us as people listen to this. So you thank you for all the beautiful work you do.

00:56:05:19 - 00:56:32:00
Unknown
Thank you. You know, you impact a lot of lives too. This was an absolute pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. You are welcome. You. This is Dr. Dee reminding you to tune in to your body, reconnect with what matters, and embrace the journey to true wellness. If you enjoyed today's episode, be sure to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who's ready to redefine their health.

00:56:32:02 - 00:56:42:20
Unknown
Let's keep redefining wellness and empowering change together. See you next Thursday for the next episode of Drop.