Ep. 211: Clutter Help: Why Your Clutter Keeps Coming Back (And How to Finally Stop It)

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever cleaned your kitchen counter—really cleaned it—only to find it covered again two days later?

Have you ever decluttered a drawer, a basket, a corner of your bedroom—and then watched it slowly fill back up with random stuff you don't even remember putting there?

Have you ever looked around your house and thought, "I swear I just cleaned this. How is it a mess again already?"

If you're nodding right now, this episode is for you.

Because here's what I've learned after years of coaching women on this exact issue: clutter doesn't pile up in one day. Clutter piles up one unmade decision at a time.

And today, I'm going to teach you the simple, repeatable skill that ends clutter at the source.

It's called The 3-Decision Clutter Reset.

And it's going to change how you think about clutter—and how you deal with it—forever.

Let's go.

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Transcript

Well, OK, let's start with the truth. Most women think that clutter keeps coming back because they're lazy or messy or because they just can't keep up. But that's not actually it. Clutter keeps coming back because every item in your house represents a decision that you haven't made yet. Let me say that again because it's important. Every item sitting on your counter, in a pile, on your table, stuffed in a dresser, or shoved in a basket,

It's there because you haven't decided what to do with it. Not because you're failing or because you don't know how to deal with it. It's because you ran out of time or energy or mental bandwidth. And so you set it down and you tell yourself that you'll deal with it later. And then we all know that later never comes because life keeps happening. And that item, that thing, it just sits there taking up space, taking up mental energy, reminding you of one more thing that you haven't finished.

By the way, you've also got a clutter language that's wrapped up in all of this. And if you don't know what your clutter language is or what your clutter has been trying to tell you, you'll want to download my Clutter Languages Guide at clutterlanguagesguide.com. It's got all 10 clutter languages, and you'll learn what they all are, how to identify which language or languages you have, and how to take your first step in moving forward from it. So make sure that you download that. And I'm going to weave the clutter languages in here in just a bit.

But let's talk about what happens in your brain when you try to deal with that clutter. So you pick up an item, right? It's a piece of mail. It's a random pen. It's a water bottle that somehow ended up on the dining room table. And immediately, your brain starts asking questions. Where should this go? Do I even need this anymore? What if I throw it away and then need it again next week? I should probably find a better spot for this. But where? This doesn't really have a home. Maybe I should create a new system or buy a new organization, something or another.

And before you know it, you're stuck. You're paralyzed by the decision or decisions. And so you set the item back down and you move on to the next thing, except the next thing triggers the same sort of spiral and then the next one and then the next one. And this is why decluttering feels so exhausting. It's not because the work is necessarily hard, but because your brain is trying to make perfect decisions about every single item. And perfect decisions take time and energy and clarity.

And most days, you probably don't have any of those things, at least not extra lying around. And this is why motivation doesn't solve a clutter problem either. You've probably tried it before. You wake up one Saturday feeling motivated. You tell yourself, today's the day. I'm finally going to get this place organized. And you start strong. You're throwing stuff away. You're putting things in piles. You're making progress. And then you hit a wall. You find something sentimental or something expensive that you've never used or something that

You don't need, but you feel guilty getting rid of it. And suddenly, you're not decluttering anymore. You're stuck in your head. You're negotiating with yourself about what to keep and what to let go of. And so the momentum dies. And then the energy fades. And by the end of the day, you've got half-sorted piles everywhere. And you feel worse than when you started. And it looks worse, too. Does this sound familiar? Here's the truth. Clutter is not a motivation problem. It's a decision-making problem. And until you have a process for making decisions quickly,

Without overthinking, without spiraling, without getting stuck, clutter is going to forever keep coming back. And this is where the three decision clutter reset comes in. So I'm gonna teach you the skill. And this is a skill that I teach to all of my members in Accomplished Lifestyle. It's my coaching community where a lot of amazing women hang out. We've got about 300 women in there and it's just an amazing place where we are.

doing life in the trenches together. And we actually are focusing on clutter every single month in all of 2026 with a different clutter theme. so this is the framework that I have taught all of them. And I'm going to teach you the same skill. it's simple. It's almost annoyingly simple. But that's exactly why it works. Complicated systems just don't work. But here's the rule with this skill. When you touch an item, you may make one of three decisions only.

That's it, just three options, no more. Here are your three options. Number one is trash or recycle. And this is easy because if it's broken or expired or you don't need it, it's gone immediately. And then there's the home category. If it has a place where it lives and you can put it there in 12 steps or less from where you're standing right now, you can go do it right now. But then there's the third pile and it's the elsewhere pile.

And if it doesn't belong in the space that you're working in, or it's not within that 12 step limit, or maybe you don't have time to figure out where it should go right now, then it goes into the elsewhere bin. And it's one bin. It's not multiple piles. It's not a deal with it later pile or bin. It's one bin, and it's labeled elsewhere. That's it. There is not a fourth pile called, I'll think about this, or a fifth pile called, I don't know. And there is no doom pile called, I need more time to decide.

There's just trash, home, and elsewhere. And let me tell you why this works so well. And by the way, we've been using this skill inside Accomplished Lifestyle already, and it has been making, helping people make enormous strides. I even had one Accomplished Lifestyle member who was not even at her home, but she was staying at her daughter's home, and she made enormous progress in her daughter's home. So here's why this process works so well, though.

The first reason is because it removes decision paralysis. You're not trying to find the perfect spot for every item. You're not trying to create an entire organizational system on the fly. You're not trying to solve your whole house. You're just sorting, and you're doing it fast with three simple categories. The second reason this works is because it keeps you moving. The biggest reason that people get stuck decluttering is because they stop to think too much about each item.

And thinking takes time, and it drains energy, and energy loss kills momentum. But when you only have three options, you can move fast. You can make quick decisions. You don't have another choice. And quick decisions are what builds momentum. And momentum is what actually gets the job done. The third reason that this works, and this is what I think is the most important reason, is that it builds trust with yourself. Because every time that you touch an item and make a decision about it,

You're proving to yourself that you can actually do this. You're proving to yourself that you have a different relationship with clutter. And you're proving that you don't need a whole weekend to make progress. You also don't need to overthink it. You really just need these three decisions. So how do we use this three decision reset? Well, here's how I teach it to the members in my community. Step one is to choose a micro zone. Micro means small, right? You need to choose a small

area, not a room, not a whole counter probably, not your entire kitchen, maybe not even a whole drawer. A micro zone is a small specific area that you can see and touch and finish in about seven minutes. Seven minutes is the key here. So here are some examples. Just a section of your kitchen counter or maybe a corner of it. What about the entryway drop zone? You might have a little table or a little bench there and stuff gets dumped off. What about your coffee table?

Probably not going to be every drawer in the coffee table, but maybe just the top surface. What about the top of your dresser or the top of your bathroom counter? Or here's one. What about your purse or tote bag? What about that one basket that collects random stuff? Or again, one drawer section. So these are just some ideas, but you need to pick one micro zone. One micro zone. And I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking, but my whole house is a mess.

One corner of the counter isn't going to make a difference. But here's the truth. You don't need to fix your whole house. You need to practice the skill of moving through clutter without getting stuck. That's what we're here to do. Because once you know how to do this in one small area, the thing is you can do it anywhere. And that's when everything changes. So step one is to pick your micro zone. Step two is to set up your tools. And these are not complicated. And you're just going to grab these three things.

A trash bag or a trash can, this is for the trash, right? You need a bin or a box or a basket or a tote for that elsewhere bin. And the third thing you need is your phone timer, that's it. You don't need fancy bins, you don't have to buy anything different, you don't need a label maker, you don't need a Pinterest perfect system. You just need a trash bag and one bin and your phone.

And listen, you're elsewhere, men. It is not a signal of a failure here. It really is part of the strategy. It's what keeps you from getting derailed and keeps momentum on board. Because here's what used to happen to me before I used this. I'd be decluttering in the kitchen counter, in the kitchen, probably the counter. And then I'd find something that belonged in the basement. So I'd walk to the basement. And then I'd see the laundry. And then I'd notice the mess on the basement couch. And before I knew it, I'd been downstairs for 20 minutes.

and my kitchen counter was still a mess and that's the thing I wanted to have cleaned up in the first place. And so the elsewhere bin is gonna put a stop to that. It keeps you focused, it keeps you in your zone, and it lets you finish what you started. And that is a game changer. Step three is to set the timer for seven minutes, right? Seven minutes. Everybody can find seven minutes. Not 30 minutes, not an hour, just seven minutes. Because here's what I've learned. Most women will never start decluttering if they think it's gonna take an hour.

but seven minutes, now suddenly that feels doable. That's one commercial break. That's the time it takes to make a cup of coffee and drink a couple of sips. And when the timer goes off, here's the rule, you stop. Even if you're not done, even if there's still left, even if you want to keep going, you stop. Because the goal isn't to finish perfectly. The goal is to build the habit of starting and finishing.

and proving to yourself that you can make progress in these small chunks of time. Step four is to apply the three decisions, okay? So this is where you're at. The timer is set and now you work. And here's the order I suggest you work in. For the first minute, you identify the trash. It's anything obvious, right? Wrappers, junk mail, broken pieces, expired.

Coupons, all that stuff is gone. Don't think, just find the trash for the first minute. And for the remaining time, I suggest that you go through and look for the elsewhere items. Look for the things that don't belong in that space. Those are usually pretty easy to pick out as well. So you start kind of differentiating then between what has a home nearby and what belongs in the elsewhere bin. And then last is that...

that then when you, that is when you would start separating out those home items. And again, putting them where they actually live as long as it is within 12 steps, right? If it's more than 12 steps away, it goes in that elsewhere bin as well. We're not gonna be taking any field trips, right? We're staying focused. And here's the most important rule. You get three seconds to make a decision. And if you can't make that decision in three minutes, it automatically goes into the elsewhere bin.

And if it is causing you fatigue, decision fatigue in any way, it goes in the elsewhere bin as well. You can make a decision about that at a different time. What we want now is starting momentum and finishing and progress. And you will make an enormous amount of progress if you only have three seconds and seven minutes. Think about that for a minute. That is gonna be a huge success. But now we have this clutter language problem.

And this is where most women get stuck. And again, if you don't have the Clutter Languages download, get that at clutterlanguagesguide.com, OK? Because here's what happens. You're moving through your microzone, and you're doing great. And then you pick up an item, and your brain starts circling, right? Your brain starts saying things like, but I spent money on this, or it was a gift, or what if I need it someday, or I should keep it because, and this is what I call a clutter language.

the number one thing that keeps women stuck in their clutter. Because a clutter language isn't about the item itself. It's about the guilt. It's about the fear. It's about the perfectionism or the overwhelm dressed up as logic parading around in your head. And if you don't have a way to interrupt it, you're going to spiral. You'll get stuck, and you'll see the item. You'll see the item and back down without ever making a decision. And so let me give you some decision filters. I call these decision filters, and I've got one.

for each clutter language. These are essentially speed rules that will help you cut through the noise and keep moving forward. So clutter language number one is the guilt keeper. And so if you're holding onto something because you spent money on it, even though you never use it, say this out loud, keeping it will not unspend the money. Keeping it will not unspend the money. The money is already gone. Keeping the item doesn't change that.

All you're doing is letting it take up space in your home and mental space in your brain. Another clutter language is the sentimental saver. If you're holding onto something because it reminds you of a memory but you never actually look at it or use it, then say this. I can keep the memory without keeping the item. Take a photo if you need to. Write down the story around it. But you don't have to keep every physical item to honor and keep the memory.

Clutter Language number three is the fantasy future planner. If you're holding onto something for the version of yourself that you wish you were, the one who scrapbooks or the one who crochets or the one who bakes bread or the one who does yoga every morning, say this, is this for my real life or my imaginary life? Because here's the truth, if you haven't used it in the last six months, you're probably not going to use it in the next six months either.

The fourth clutter language is the overwhelmed avoider. If you're feeling so overwhelmed that you just want to shove everything into a drawer or a closet and shut the door and deal with it later, then say this, I'm not solving everything. I'm just sorting. And that literally is all you're doing. This process that I taught you is just a way to sort. You don't have to fix it all right now. You just have to decide, is this trash? Does this have a home within reach or is it an elsewhere item?

The fifth clutter language is the perfectionist planner. And if you're stalling because you want to find the perfect spot for something before you move it, then say this. Done is better than perfect. You don't need the perfect system. You don't need the perfect home. You just need to move the item off the surface. You don't need the perfect system. You just need the movement. The sixth clutter language is the decision dreader. So

If you're stuck because you hate making decisions and you're tired of making the wrong ones and you're afraid of that, well then say this, three seconds and decide. Give yourself three seconds. Count it out loud if you need to. One, two, three, decide. Then it should go in the trash, the home or the elsewhere. Three seconds and then move on. Now there's a few more clutter languages that come into play here, but you need to download that guide and that guide will give you amazing

an amazing action step to help you move forward. But there is one most important golden rule that I need to draw your attention to again. When in doubt, elsewhere it out. If you're holding onto something and you genuinely don't know what to do with it, it goes in the elsewhere bin. And it's not because you're avoiding the decision, it's because you're protecting your momentum. You can always go back to the elsewhere bin later and deal with those items when you have more time or more energy or it's outside of this seven minutes.

But right now, within this seven minutes, your job is to keep moving because momentum matters more than perfection. And this actually sticks because essentially what you're doing is you're building trust with yourself. This framework actually works in the long-term overall plan of clutter because it's not just about having a clean counter. It's about rebuilding this trust with yourself.

Because here's what's happened when you've tried to declutter 100 times before and failed. You stop trusting yourself. You stop believing that you will follow through. You stop believing that you can finish what you start. You stop believing that you're capable of keeping your house in order and dealing with this clutter at all. And that loss of trust is really the biggest cork in the bottle. It's the biggest reason that you're stuck.

But every time you do a seven minute round of the three decision clutter reset and you finish that seven minutes, you prove to yourself that you can do this. You're building evidence. You're creating momentum. And you're learning that you don't need a whole Saturday to make progress. You just need seven minutes and three decision filters. And that can change everything. And here's the other thing that this framework does. It trains your brain to make

decisions faster. Because the more you practice making quick decisions, trash, home, elsewhere, the easier it gets. You stop overthinking. You stop spiraling. And you stop getting stuck in the what ifs. You just decide. And you move. And you decide. And you move. And over time, that skill becomes automatic. It becomes part of how you think. And that's when clutter stops piling up in the first place. Because you're not letting things sit anymore.

You're not setting them down for later. You're making decisions in real time. And that's the real skill that we're building here. All right. So here's how you're going to use this strategy going forward. I challenge you to make this commitment that once a day, every day, for the next seven days, you do a seven minute round of the three decision clutter reset. That's it. Seven minutes.

One microzone each time, three decisions in each microzone. And what if you did it three separate times? Here's the extra credit challenge. What if it looked like this? In the morning, you took seven minutes and you cleared the kitchen counter before breakfast or maybe after. What about in the afternoon? What if you cleared the coffee table before dinner? And what about in the evening if you cleared the entry drop zone before bed? What if you did all three?

And if you want to start with one, just start with one. Pick what works most for you. The time when you'll actually do it. The time when you'll appreciate the clear space the most and commit to doing it for seven days in a row. Not because you have to, but because repetition helps build the skill. Now, here's what you do with the elsewhere bin. Once a week, you pick the day. Spend 10 minutes going through your elsewhere bin.

and putting things back where they actually belong. But here's the rule, you don't do this every day. It's just once a week. Because if you try to deal with that elsewhere bin every day, you're gonna get overwhelmed. You'll lose momentum and you'll stop doing the daily resets. So keep it simple, daily resets focus on your microzone. Weekly resets handle the elsewhere bin. All right, well, let's bring this home. So if your house feels cluttered right now, if your clutter counters are caught,

If your counters are covered, if your tables are piled high, if your drawers won't close, I want you to hear me. You're not lazy or unmotivated or unorganized or just destined to live with all the stuff. You're just living in decision overload. And decision overload creates clutter. But now you have a skill, a simple, repeatable, proven skill that we have been using in my coaching community for weeks now.

three decisions, it's seven minutes, it's one microzone at a time. That's all you need. And if you want help with this, if you want to go deeper, if you want coaching and help with this, this is what accomplished lifestyle is for. Make sure you pay attention here. Make sure you're on my email list so you can find out the next time that accomplished lifestyle opens for registration. We are doing a new clutter theme every month with weekly live calls and replays.

on a clutter skill just like the one I taught you today. All right, so here's what to do next. First, go grab a trash bag and one basket or box. That's your elsewhere bin. Second, pick your one microzone in your house, just one. Again, the corner of your counter, the coffee table top, the entryway, whatever is driving you the most crazy right now. And third, set your timer for seven minutes and do one round of the three decision clutter reset right now today.

Trash, home, elsewhere. And when you're done, notice how you feel. Notice how much lighter the space feels. Notice how much more in control you feel. Because that feeling is what we're building towards. And if this episode hit with you, then share it with a friend. Share it with somebody that you know needs it. And make sure that you download that Clutter Languages Guide at clutterlanguagesguide.com.

Well, thanks for being here today, friend. I know your time is valuable, and I'm so glad that you spent it with me today. If you want more practical, honest, and systematized help, this is what I'm here for. Make sure that you're following along. We've got a new Clutter episode coming out every single week in addition to another packed episode that is relevant for especially midlife women.

but women everywhere. We're having the real conversations here. We're saying the things that other people don't want to say out loud. we're here to recognize that we're not the only ones struggling with these things. So I'm so glad you joined me today. We'll talk again soon.