Elkevate Your Life

What Happened to Simply Wanting Connection?

Elke

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The dating landscape has transformed dramatically, leaving singles across generations confused and frustrated. What's causing this disconnect in modern romance, and why are so many struggling to find meaningful connections?

Today's episode dives deep into the chasm between dating expectations and reality. After receiving overwhelming feedback from listeners of all ages about our previous dating discussion, I'm unpacking the fascinating dynamics at play. From independent women with increasingly specific partner criteria to men feeling unappreciated for traditional gestures, the fundamental issues seem to cross generational lines.

Have we created impossible standards? Women proudly proclaim they don't "need" men anymore—financially or otherwise—but what about simply wanting companionship and connection? Men express frustration with shifting expectations and the feeling that nothing they do seems quite right. The modern dating paradox leaves everyone questioning: is the bar set too high, or are we simply looking for the wrong things?

This episode examines what different generations value in relationships and how expectations have evolved. I share my perspective as someone who values having a provider and protector while maintaining independence, and I invite listeners from all backgrounds to contribute their experiences. What's on your dating criteria list? Are you flexible with those requirements? How do we bridge the gap between what we think we want and what might actually bring fulfillment?

Share your generation, your dating perspectives, and your questions! I'm looking for guests from different age groups to continue this important conversation on future episodes. Subscribe for Mindful Mondays and Wisdom Wellness Wednesdays as we navigate relationships, boundaries, self-advocacy, and growth together.

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Speaker 1:

Oh, chicka-wow-wow, what's up? Party people? Welcome to another episode of Elkivate your Life. I am your hostess, with the mostess L as in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. Well, welcome to another Mindful Monday on this July 21st. Thanks to all my loyal listeners for tuning in. Cara of lovemyartistetsycom Appreciate your loyal listening and I hope more people are looking at your Etsy page and checking out your artwork and your musical video talents, as well as all of the wonderful, special, unique things that you have on your page.

Speaker 1:

Shout out to Angie Germer of Thrive Lavelle. If any of you are looking to lose weight in an all-natural, healthy way, hit up Angie at Thrive Lavelle. Her link can be found on my page. Same with Kara lovemyartistetsycom. All of their links can be found in my podcast. And yeah, thrive Lavelle, I'm happy to report I lost 10 pounds on the plan. I did it for a month to experiment with it and I was. My goal was to lose 10 pounds and tone, still working on the toning part. But all of the supplements, the dermal patches, everything that she advertises and talks about it fills the nutritional gaps. So check out her weight loss program. They always have all kinds of specials. Same with Kara. Her page always has all kinds of promotions and special things, depending on the day, the month next up we have lisa roberts curbelo.

Speaker 1:

I am so sad you and your other half were not able to attend our party. I haven't seen you in gosh since saint patrick's day, so march. Haven't seen you in gosh since St Patrick's Day, so March. Haven't seen you or talked to you since March. Way too long, girlfriend.

Speaker 1:

Thank you for being a loyal listener and subscriber to me. Jeff para, namaste, para palooza, namaste para palooza. I've been following jeff throughout his traveling journey that he has the pleasure of doing with his wonderful job, um sprinter life, as he calls it. I'm always just living vicariously through my subscribers. So thank you. Thank you for being a loyal listener and thank you for always keeping it real with me on your input and your feedback. I don't think I heard any feedback on this last episode. Hmm, have to double check that. Shout out to Mike Kaufman. Mike Kaufman, my husband also, you know I want to say loyal listener, but I'm pretty sure he's missed a few in the past. So for the most part he tries to be a loyal listener and makes an effort to comment. So thank you, and up next we have Kyle Few. Commitment to love. Love is a verb. It can be found on Audible. Always appreciate Kyle's commentary, feedback, ideas, suggestions.

Speaker 1:

And roger haven. It was so nice to finally see you in person at our joint birthday party that took place friday, july 18th. We had a celebration at Wise Girls and friends from near and far came to celebrate with us to our rave. Goodbye to summer theme party. And, roger, it looked like you were having a successful nonstop dancing time. I tried to introduce him to various friends, but not everyone was open to the idea. Either they were engrossed in a conversation or busy out on the dance floor or what have you, by the way, save me a slice of that peach cobbler, will you? I'm going to see if Mr's out your way anytime in the near future.

Speaker 1:

Roger's known for growing vegetables and fruit and beautiful flowers in his garden and posting all sorts of stuff on his social media, and I'm always drooling while I'm coming across these delectables. Okay, I think I have covered all of my subscribers and loyal listeners, so thank you. I can't stop yawning. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so sorry. I've had some noisy neighbors in the mix. So first of all, let me first apologize for not showing up on Wisdom Wellness.

Speaker 1:

Wednesday that was my husband Mike Kaufman's birthday. Wednesday that was my husband Mike Kaufman's birthday and my daughter came out to visit and what was supposed to be a brief little visit possible dinner turned into uh, looking for a place that we could all agree upon dinner and then rushing to the dairy before it closed for our low calorie, low carb dessert. And then a lovely mother-daughter night with my daughter and then the next day celebrating my birthday his is is on Wednesday, july 16th, mine on July 17th and so fun filled activities with family friends. We're supposed to go out to karaoke, to poop, to pop, for karaoke that Thursday night. I'm so mad because I had the perfect outfit all picked out. But you know, you spend a day and an evening with family and friends and then you go out in the sun, the beach lay out and the next thing you know you're drained from being out in the sun. Right, that is the case for all of us anyway.

Speaker 1:

But I do want to recap on last Monday's episode because it was a huge hit, where we talked about dating and the different generations and how the different generations look at dating and what's popular, what's not what's dead. Do you pay for your own meal? Do you go Dutch when you get asked out? Well, the feedback and commentary was just phenomenal. Various different generations were saying yes, if you go dutch, then you split the bill depending on who asked, and then it's um.

Speaker 1:

We were talking about feminism and the fact that these strong, independent women are ruining it for all of these single men of various different generations. Why All? Because the criteria is so specific and particular that the men just can't fit in. It's like, okay, the woman makes enough money, so she doesn't need a man. The woman is self-sufficient, independent, doesn't need a man.

Speaker 1:

But what about wanting a man? Whatever happened to wanting to have monogamy and just one partner to share all of your hobbies and interests with? And sadly, the dynamics have just changed so much. The women have a very specific list of criteria. You know, has to be this tall, or make this much and or be emotionally intelligent, emotionally available. Nobody wants have a five-year plan, etc. Etc. So what's happening is the men that maybe don't check all of those boxes but are looking for love. Maybe they're not six feet, maybe you know they make great money, but they're not interested in going out and going out dancing to clubs and bars. Maybe they're more content with going to the movies and going to dinner, and you know the simple things in life.

Speaker 1:

So it was quite interesting to hear all of the different perspectives. Sorry, my dog is over here. My co-host is over here smelling my chicken that I haven't dove into yet my one meal a day, dinner. She's smelling it and waiting for me to start eating it so she can start begging. Not happening, chanel, sorry, sorry, not sorry.

Speaker 1:

So I had an overwhelming amount of feedback about you know that being in a partnership is a shared responsibility and it should be a give and take, and I would love to hear your thoughts and what generation are you speaking from? I would love to hear the male perspective and the female perspective, because the overwhelming amount of feedback I did get was like oh yeah, man, nowadays they you know they don't come to the door, they don't offer to pay for the meal, or if you are an independent woman, then you should not expect the man to do everything for you and get nothing in return. I mean it was all over the map, ladies and gents. I mean it was all over the map, ladies and gents, and so I'm just curious what are your thoughts and your take on dating in 2025, post COVID? That hard for men out there to find a woman that is equal, that will be a partner, that will offer, give and take, or women, do you think the men's expectations are too much? They think because they pay for the date, the dinner and or dessert whatever dinner, drinks, dessert let's go that route. They think because they paid all that, then they get to put their hand in the cookie jar.

Speaker 1:

If you know what I'm saying, I would love to know from my listeners' perspectives, what is the problem in nowadays dating. Is the bar set too high? Do the women and men have such a specific list that no one can possibly meet those needs? And if they do, they're married, gay, pansexual, not interested, too independent, always working, narcissist, self-involved. What is it? I would love to hear your feedback because me, being married for just over two years now, I'm not in the dating game anymore.

Speaker 1:

I have a lot of single friends and I definitely have these conversations about the hookup culture and and Talking about body count and feminism and equal rights and chivalry is not dead, but it's fading because women don't appreciate it. So many questions I have. Who out there in the single world can answer these questions for me? Enlighten me, please, and I would love to hear from all the different generations the baby boomers, the Gen Zs, the Gen X, the Gen Y, the millennials, the yeah, I mean because the people I talk to. I hear very different thoughts and opinions and I want to have them as guests on my show. By the way, I invite you to come and be a guest on my show, especially if you are in a different generation than I and you are single and have knowledge to share.

Speaker 1:

Please, by all means, enlighten me, educate me, because I'm watching, I'm reading, I'm listening and I'm appalled for both the women and the men. I see where the men are coming from, where the women are, excuse me, too specific with their list, too choosy, too selective, however you want to word it. Too choosy, too selective, however you want to word it, and I also see it from the lady's perspective in that, yes, we want. Okay. Well, let me speak for myself. I want a provider, a protector. I don't need to procreate anymore. Been there, done that. That door's closed. But I absolutely want someone who can be a leader, who can take the initiative if there is a scenario where I don't feel safe. I want to know that I have a provider by my side that I can count on and lean on. Give and take and emotional intelligence growth, mindset is so important to me.

Speaker 1:

So I would love to hear from my loyal listeners what is important to you and your dating criteria and your dating criteria. What kind of list do you have and are the men meeting the needs of that list? And, if not, are you flexible? Are you flexible with the list if it's six, four, three figures, blue collar, lives in the Tri-Valley, etc. Etc. Are you willing to be flexible with those height restrictions? Or yeah, those are the questions I have for the ladies and the gentlemen, because I feel like a lot of the gentlemen are like, okay, she's got to look like this, be built like a brick house, funny, outgoing, cook, clean, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever. But then there's the men that are like, no, I'm just happy to be with a good conversationalist, somebody that you find attractive and share commonalities, right. So, yeah, I always like to follow with.

Speaker 1:

Riddle me, this Batman. How do we match these single men and women? We need for all of us to come together and share our knowledge, because knowledge is power, quite frankly. This is why I'm always trying to get my friends to listen to my pod. Watch this video, read what I posted on social media TikTok, instagram, facebook, you name it. Be open to learning and changing and growing. Those are my, I feel like those are my antidotes. And, yes, so I welcome you. Please, all of you, loyal listeners, please feel free. Send in your comments, your questions, your ideas, your concerns. Be sure to include what generation you're from and if you'd like to be a guest on my show, by all means, please let me know this. I would love to have you. Thank you again to all my loyal listeners. Thank you for listening, thank you for watching. Remember to like share comment. It helps the algorithm, it helps me and, to those of you who aren't a subscriber or a loyal sponsor, I would love to invite you to do so.

Speaker 1:

Mindful Mondays, wisdom, wellness Wednesdays I talk about anything and everything under the sun, as long as it follows those guidelines and, as a lot of you know, I talk about dating, setting healthy boundaries, being an advocate for yourself and your health, healing your inner child of the past. Growth mindset versus fixed mindset. Past growth mindset versus fixed mindset so many things to talk about in the world today. So I will look forward to you, loyal listeners, my Elkyvators. I will look forward to your feedback, your comments, your generation Be sure to list that and what are your comments, questions, ideas or concerns about last Monday and this Monday's topic. I hope to have a guest for you on Wednesday. Thank you all for listening and joining. Ciao for now.

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