If The Body Keeps Score, Can We Change The Game

• Ever had your body speak up when your mind insisted everything was fine? That’s where we start: a sudden autoimmune flare after a calm year, a full moon’s nudge, and a hard look at how stress and old patterns can light a match under the immune system. We open up about the science and the story—how fight-or-flight keeps us alive, how it can also lock the body into cycles of inflammation, and why trauma is less about the headline event and more about the overwhelm that outstrips capacity.

• Together we map what “the body keeps the score” means in daily life. We talk about growing up with chaos, the quiet ways we overachieve to stay safe, and the hidden costs of pushing through. Then we shift to tools you can use right away: noticing early cues like a tight jaw or racing breath, stepping outside for a reset, walking the dog to discharge energy, choosing solitude for lunch to reset your window of tolerance. We also explore structured support—cognitive approaches that bring language to body alarms, somatic practices that release stored charge, meditation and grounding to widen calm, and when medications can create a stable bridge for learning new patterns.

• What emerges is a practical path: safety as a daily skill, not a finish line. We share small, repeatable practices that retrain a jumpy nervous system and make space for the moments you don’t want to miss—birthdays, concerts, dinners that used to get canceled when flares took over. If you’ve ever wondered why your symptoms spike under stress or how to break the loop, you’ll find hope, clarity, and a handful of moves to try today. If this resonated, tap follow, share this with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review to help more listeners find tools that work.

Transcript

Welcome And Emotional Check-In

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Oh, chickkawa. What's up, party people? Welcome to another episode of LQate Your Life. I am your hostess with the most S. L is in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. Thank you so much for tuning in to this evening's Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. Thank you to Sue, who shed some light on a topic that I have been struggling with. And you might hear me get emotional on this podcast. So many factors going on. There's been a full moon. We're on night three of the full moon. So I noticed that I feel more sensitive or vulnerable or romantic, maybe even weepy.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Um, but mainly because uh my body has been.

Stressors And Choosing Privacy

Fight Or Flight And The Body Keeps Score

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Well, for those of you that listen to me, you know that um I've said, hey, you know, my autoimmune disease, oral like implantus, I feel like I've healed myself, I haven't had a flare-up, it's gone, yada yada. Until it wasn't. Uh recently, um, I had some stressors in my life. I'm not gonna go into detail because I don't want to throw people or situations under the bus. Uh, but there were some things that came up that were sort of unavoidable. And needless to say, uh, for those of you that know about fight or flight, um there's an infamous author out there that wrote a book, The Body Keeps Score. And it's interesting because I realized after discussing this with my dear friend Sue that the body definitely keeps score, and that fight or flight, while it's helpful in survival situations, it can be helpful and harmful, I guess, is what I'm trying to say.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Basically, it helps us with trauma in the brain.

Trauma’s Biology And Health Fallout

SPEAKER_01 2:57

And so trauma is how your body responds to it, the degree to which when you're traumatized, also your body, what it what it does is it keeps mobilizing itself to fight. So you have all kinds of immunological abnormalities, you have endocrine abnormalities, and that can impact, even devastate your health, your physical health.

SPEAKER_00 3:42

And it can have a long range, oftentimes, of physical problems that can become mental problems, or vice versa.

How Early Wounds Shape Adult Reactions

Daily Coping Yet Hidden Internalization

Reframing Trauma Beyond War

SPEAKER_01 3:59

And in the discussions that we have that are quite deep, sometimes we just talk about how the body keeps score, and it made me realize oh, yeah, the stress of those situations registered with the primitive part of my brain of, okay, I need to go into a somatic state. I need to go into fight or flight mode. And how do you deal with this? How do you not, you know, how do you protect yourself? Well, how you protect yourself, you could be hurting yourself at the same time because your body is in fight or flight mode, therefore, you might be repressing feelings or emotions, or it could be bringing you back to a time that you were traumatized, maybe when you were abused as a child, or when you got confronted with a bully at school, or whatever the case may be, if someone wasn't there to make you feel safe and comfort you in that moment, then your body goes into fight or flight. Because it doesn't have somebody to say, I'm here for you, it's okay, what do you need? You don't look okay. Anyway, the reason I'm talking about this tonight, guys and girls, is because I thought one year later I adhered my healed myself from my autoimmune disease. I've been doing all the things, taking all these homeopathic approaches, vitamins, minerals, um, eating healthy. Uh if I feel stress coming in, coming on to me, I will walk my dog Chanel, or I will go to the gym, or I will meditate. Turns out I'm not doing the best job of it because I am internalizing it. I am manifesting it in other ways because hey, I still got to go to work and put a smile on my face to go and deal with my kiddos and help my kiddos learn how to become independent on their own and learn how to be um socially aware and yeah, teach them life skills. Uh, and then when I come home from work, you know, I have to be happy for my dog and put on a brave face when I am home to cook dinner for my husband. And so in talking with my friend Sue about this, she told me about The Body Keeps Score. And it's by the author Bessel Van Der Kolk. He's a psychiatrist, he's a neuroscientist, the author of the book, The Body Keeps the Score, and um it's just interesting to find out. We think when we think about these things, we think about people that have gone off to war, you know, that have PTSD, but it's not just them, it's people that had abusive parents.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

It's more common than we know.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Or it's you know, having the alcoholic mother or father, or you know, witnessing the parents that fight, or being a child of parents that were yellers or you know, verbally abusive, physically abusive, or maybe you had an experience as a child where you were sexually molested. You know, the I was reading the stats on this. One out of four kids gets beaten very hard by their parents. I was one of those four. One out of eight kids sees physical fights between their parents. Well, I didn't witness that because my parents separated uh before I was born.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

Inner city kids witness trauma.

Linking Trauma To Autoimmune Response

SPEAKER_01 9:24

Um anyway, basically what I learned is that trauma is something that happens to you that makes you so upset that it overwhelms you. And you just you are at a loss of what to do. You feel helpless, you feel hopeless, maybe you collapse, and there's an internal state that takes over to protect you, to protect the body. So the trauma is not the event that happens, it's how you respond to it. And so it makes sense now how I have managed to get this autoimmune disease because of the things that happen to me, my body responds in a certain way. And when there's nothing you can do to stave off the inevitable, where your body basically is in like a state of confusion, you might not be able to function properly in the face of a threat.

Noticing Triggers And Somatic States

SPEAKER_00 11:02

It's a trauma response. Um so while it's the greatest protector against the trauma. Um there are after effects, right? So sorry, I'm getting emotional. I just wanted to encourage everybody, this is where it's really important to uh listen to your body.

SPEAKER_01 11:55

Um know that you oftentimes have the ability to heal yourself. I'm actually reading about how you can reprogram your brain. Um so basically, what happened with me, the nature of the trauma, is the experience that enters through your ears and your skin and your eyes into the sensations. It goes down to the primitive part of your brain that automatically interprets what's going on.

Paths To Reprogramming The Brain

SPEAKER_00 12:34

And so it's a somatic response. So it's a way to teach your body to survive.

Fear, Learning, And Resetting Patterns

SPEAKER_01 12:49

And I'm just realizing why my body has responded that way is because I I did endure a lot of these things that I'm talking about as a child. So I do go into that somatic state a lot, and so basically I have to reprogram myself, everyone. And we do there are ways that we can do that, and so I'm not gonna go into everything today, but there are things like cognitive therapy that can help us to reprogram our brains. Um there's a lot of different ways now. They have, you know, drugs that you can take to help you see things clearly, not blame yourself, not go into that mode. There's all these new tips and tricks. I want to encourage all of you to look into this, read about it, study about it, learn about it. Um, I was planning on starting my podcast so much earlier this evening, but I was so intrigued because I'm very much a reader, a researcher. Ask me why I didn't do better in school because the adult I have become in reading and researching, I wish I had that motivation and incentive back then.

SPEAKER_00 14:48

Um but I was hindered by fear.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

The fear of not being smart enough, not being good enough. Um yeah, lots of different things. So basically what happens is it leaves an imprint of trauma and in a very primitive survival part of your brain.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

And we have to learn how to reset things.

Mapping Safety And Ongoing Healing

SPEAKER_01 15:45

Oh gosh, sorry, I just I'm processing all of this, and the more I learn about it and read about it, it makes me sad for myself, but then again at the same time recognizing oh, this is what I have to do differently so that I don't respond in this way, and so that I can. And I feel like I'm already on the road to recovery and healing that inner child of the past by I know when I'm in those situations, I need to remove myself from the situation. I need to take my dog for a walk. I I can go have lunch by myself. I don't need to, you know, put myself in those situations. Uh, if it's at home, I can leave and go to the gym and just, you know, remove myself from that situation. Uh, but basically what happens is in my case, I'm always on alert and to suppress the feelings of fear in order not to embarrass myself, you know, in order to be able to work or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

Um yeah, I'm using that primitive part of my brain.

Hope, Coping Strategies, And Growth

Shoutouts And Resources

SPEAKER_01 17:12

And it's creating an internal map of what the world tells me, like what's dangerous, what's safe, how does my body respond? So that's what I wanted to share with you this evening. I hope all of that made sense to you. The whole reason this got brought up, like I said, is because I thought I was healed until I had another flare-up, and it made me want to learn more and know more because I don't want to live in chronic pain. I don't want to miss out on any more birthday parties, anniversaries, girls' night out, couples' night out, anniversaries, dinners, oh my gosh, concerts, so many things. So I just want to encourage all of you to be open to the idea that there are solutions to how we handle things. There are other ways that we can find coping strategies. And I want to encourage all of you out there to delve deeper so that you can find ways to heal yourself or reprogram yourself, and that you don't have to be the person that you were five years ago, ten years ago, fifteen years ago, twenty years ago, whatever the case may be, that we have the ability to evolve and change and learn and grow. And it starts with us being open and willing to look at the alternatives, right? That's the great thing about living where we live is we have access to so many options of alternative medicine and yeah, so just some food for thought. Uh I hope that you appreciated the information and that you will take it upon yourself to learn about these things.

SPEAKER_00 20:08

Tell yourself you don't have to be stuck in the person that you are today, that you can respond differently, you can do things differently.

Like, Share, Subscribe And Closing

SPEAKER_01 20:23

You can reprogram, you can relearn how to do something a better way with a better outcome, a more positive outcome. So on that note, I want to make sure that I say thank you to all my loyal subscribers, Creative Cara, appreciate you so much. Thank you for always speaking of being open and sharing, thank you for always sharing uh new found ways for us to elcubate and overcome. I really appreciate you. Check out lovemyartist.edsey.com, Link Tree, Love My Artist. Uh, as I mentioned to you in previous episodes, she is multi-talented with drawing, painting, video montages, clothing, shooting, shoe line, you name it, the girl's got it on her website. Check her out. She's fabulous. And next up, Jeff Para Namaste. Thank you for teaching me the power of meditation and grounding. It's definitely something that takes practice and takes work. And I would very much Love it and appreciate it so much if the Mr. would take more of an interest to that. I really think it could help him. Moving right along, Kyle Few, Commitment to Love, Love is a verb. Appreciate all your wisdom and knowledge and ideas from my podcast. Thank you, my friend. Commitment to love, love is a verb. It can be found on Amazon. Angie Germer, Angie Germer of Thrive Lavelle, looking to lose weight, gain muscle. Check out Angie Germer, Thrive Laval. A lot of these people, Creative Cara and Angie Germer, you can find their links in my podcast content description. Mike Kaufman, thank you for being a loyal subscriber. I appreciate you. Lisa Roberts Corvello, thank you for being a loyal subscriber. I appreciate you. Hope to see you this upcoming holiday, St. Patrick's Day. I feel like that's the last time we saw each other, but I know we saw each other at an outdoor concert, an 80s concert. Anyway, um, Missy Girl. And I want to make sure I covered everybody. Roger, Roger Havens. Thank you so much, friend. I appreciate you. Uh, I've really enjoyed seeing on your stories all the things that you're growing in your lovely garden. And next time you decide to make a sweet treat of some sort, and you happen to be in the area I would love to try. Peach cobbler, I think, was the last thing that I saw that you made. I'm a sucker for sweets. And thank you to all my loyal listeners, Rhonda, Andrew, Barry, Travis. Sue. Gosh, too many to name. So I'm not going to go down the list or we'll be here all night and I'll run out of time to record. If this topic interested you, resonated with you, please give me a thumbs up, give me a like. Um, it's great if you share any sort of experience or comments. It helps me, it helps the algorithm. So remember to like, share, comment. And I always appreciate when I receive new subscribers that can help me with production costs to grow, to be bigger and better, and more successful. Until next time, thanks for tuning in on this Wisdom Wellness Wednesday, March 4th. Ciao for now.