Money Talk For Couples

Money stress shows up in our relationship when one person earns more and the other person wants clearer organization and access to the numbers. We talk through our real bill setup, why it keeps becoming a thorn in my side, and what a calmer, more transparent system could look like. 

• asking who handles finances in marriages, relationships, and situationships 
• sharing our bill split and how income shapes responsibility 
• using a spreadsheet to see balances, progress, and patterns 
• making finances collaborative with regular sit-down check-ins 
• making sure both partners have access to the information 
• considering a financial advisor or trusted outside help when talks turn into arguments 
• inviting listeners to share their strategies, systems, and approaches 

Please, at the end of the podcast, when you're done listening, if you liked this episode, give it a thumbs up, give it a like, and if it resonated with you or you think somebody else could benefit it, it's great if you can share it out. 

Transcript

Welcome And A Quick Check-In

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Ow, chickawa. What's up, party people? Welcome to another episode of L Kivate Your Life. I am your hostess with the most S. L is in the letter L and key as in the key to your heart. Thank you so much for tuning in and joining me today. As you can see, I'm I'm not at my best. I'm not at my worst. So let's get into it. What am I reaching out to you about today? Well, it is Wisdom Wellness Wednesday. Oh my gosh, and I've already forgotten what the date is. Bear with me here. Uh Wednesday, April 8th.

SPEAKER_00 0:53

Okay, let's get into it.

SPEAKER_01 0:55

So sorry, as all of you know, or at least uh my loyal listeners know, I have a condition oral like implantus, and my mouth gets very dry when I have to speak.

SPEAKER_00 1:16

And yeah, so you'll see me doing that a lot.

Who Handles The Money At Home

Our Bill Split And Why It Hurts

SPEAKER_01 1:21

Um so I want to ask all of you if you're married in a relationship, in a partnership, situationship, whatever the case may be, who handles the finances? Well, I'll use myself for example. So as most of you know, um, by the way, if it's your first time, let me recap. I'm Mama Elkie of Elkievate Your Life. And we show up here every Monday for Mindful Mondays and Wednesday for Wisdom Wellness Wednesdays. And um so in my case, my husband is in charge of the finances, kinda sorta. He makes the money. Well, he makes much more money than I do. And because of that, he handles the larger bills. We came to an understanding. My check pays the PG ⁇ E, the cable, the car insurance, the renter's insurance, the um Apple, things like that, Netflix, etc. So I handle the smaller bills because I make less. And he handles the larger bills, um, rent, cell phone, groceries, car payment. Mind you, the car payment is for his car. Supposed to be a family car, it became a constant debate. So now I'm just like, whatever, that's your car. Okay. Why am I bringing this up today, you ask? That's a great question. Why am I bringing it up today? Well, I'm bringing it up today because it has become a bit of a thorn in my side. Because me, I'm sure like several others out there, one person is probably really great at the organizational part while the other part is the one that's making more money. So, how do you do that in the partnership?

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Well, he used to be the one in charge.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

Uh, and since then, um, because there have been some hiccups, I have made the suggestion that because I'm all about putting the information in spreadsheets and looking at it physically and seeing the numbers and looking at the balances versus, you know, checks and balances, right? And obviously, if you can't do it as a partnership, well, then you seek outside help. Maybe like a financial consultant, a financial advisor, maybe it's somebody through your church, whatever. I'm really not liking these glasses right now. I feel like they're too much. But anyway, whatever. It is what it is. And you're about to see my dog jump on here and try to get in. Hi, Chanel, and don't judge, she looks a hotness. She's getting haircut tomorrow, thank God. Anyway, the reason we're talking about this today is has become a re-occurring topic of conversation and not always in the best way. So I found myself thinking, well, this could be Wisdom Wellness Wednesday, right? Does it pertain to wellness? I don't know. I mean, I think it could be in the fact that in order to maintain my wellness, my oral lichen plan is, and my overall sense of well-being and mental health, that yes, I need to have a strategy. I need to have a plan. So, that being said, I initiated, hey, you know what? Since you handled the finances and everything comes out of your bank account, I would like to be the one to put the information in a spreadsheet so we can actually look see the numbers, see the progress, etc., etc.

SPEAKER_00 6:17

Nine times out of ten, it doesn't go as well as I would like.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Uh and I'm not even saying this to throw anybody under the bus because I'm sure I'm sure it's um it's not fun for a lot of people. I'm gonna get a different pair of glasses.

SPEAKER_00 6:38

And I don't know that these are gonna be any better. So let's see. Are these better? I don't know. Okay.

Building A Shared System That Works

Transparency Plus When To Get Help

SPEAKER_01 6:52

So the reason I want to talk about this is because I'm sure there are a lot of other people out there that have a system, how have a strategy. And to you married couples or listeners out there that have a strategy and you want to share, I'm here for it. Um my God. Now I see why I don't wear these. They're too big and they fall off my face. Okay, whatever. It is what it is. So basically, um, I came up with some ideas, and it turns out that my ideas are not so far off from the suggestions that you would look up. So, what I came, what I came to discover is that um it should be a collaborative thing, right? Like not one person should handle it. It should be, hey, honey, let's sit down together and look at the bills, and you provide them to me, and I enter them in the spreadsheet, and you know, we can discuss it. And hopefully it'll be a peaceful discussion, but maybe not. Um and so upon looking it up, I found out that that's a great way to come together and collaborate. Also to have one person responsible for a certain amount of bills and the other one to be responsible for the other, exactly what I just told you. Um, so he handles the larger bills, I handle the smaller bills so that it feels as fair as it can be, right? Um but there was a part that was brought up that I found very interesting, which was that we both should have access to this information, which I don't, and that will change. Um, but we both should have access to this information so that we both can work as a team and as a partnership. So Rhonda and Roger, Kyle and Amor, my other friend, well, Roger single. I'm trying to think of all the couples out there. Kara and Tom, Angie and Jack, what do you guys do? I would very much like to hear what my friends out there married, in a relationship, in a situationship, a partnership, whatever the case may be. What is it? What is your strategy? What is your approach? What is your system? And is it in line with what I just mentioned? Because uh, I gotta be honest. I want it to get to a comfortable place, much more comfortable than what it is and what it has been. And everything I looked up online is everything I've suggested. It's just a matter of coming together as a team, as a partnership, and doing it together so that everyone feels included and you're on the same page and there's full transparency, right? Um that's what I wanted to talk about today. That's what I wanted to share today. So I almost want to do like take a poll. Like, how many in the household do the wives hand or handle the finances? Because I'll be honest, most people that I talk to or that I've talked to about this in the past have always said, well, my husband makes the money. These are gonna drive me nuts too. Sorry, guys. Um, my husband is the one that makes the money, but I'm the one that manages the finances. Basically, what I suggested. I input the data. He provides the data, I input it. Um, and then the two collaborate. And if you can't uh collaborate and you can't do it without arguing, well, then you need a financial planner. You need somebody else that you can talk to. And hopefully you can find somebody that you don't have to pay, although that's what they're out there for, right? For people to pay them. But maybe you can find somebody in your church. I don't know. Um, I just know that this has been a challenge for us.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

And I thought, well, wisdom, wellness Wednesday, finances, I thought it was a good topic because it's relevant.

Poll The Audience And Ask For Tips

Like Share Comment And Shoutouts

SPEAKER_01 11:46

And so even if you're boyfriend and girlfriend and you live together, like who handles it? Uh Brooklyn NAJ. Uh, anybody out there that's listening and has a partnership or shares it with a family member, friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, boyfriend, boyfriend, whatever the case may be, I would love to know what your strategies and what your ideas are because I'm always open to feedback and new information and ideas. But basically, everything I've come up with is literally what I looked up. Collaborate. One person handles the larger dollar amounts, one person handles the smaller dollar amounts, one person handles the organizing, one person is the one that earns the money. And if that doesn't work well, then you seek out help from an external source and go that route. So let me know. What are your thoughts? What are your ideas? What are your strategies? How do you do things? I would love to know. Please, at the end of the podcast, when you're done listening, if you liked this episode, give it a thumbs up, give it a like, and if it resonated with you or you think somebody else could benefit it, it's great if you can share it out. But also, if you like and you comment and you share your feedback, that not only helps me to grow and respond to you, and but maybe there's other people out there that have these same questions. And so it creates an algorithm for other people to see that this is a relevant, important topic that people need to be talking about. Whether you live together as boyfriend and girlfriend, boyfriend and boyfriend, girlfriend and girlfriend, you know, roommates, um, engaged, married, whatever. I think it's something that we all should learn and become more aware and proactive in to avoid future problems, right? Which is kind of where we are right now. And that's why I'm asking for your knowledge and help. So thank you to all my loyal listeners out there, Roger Havens. Thank you for being a loyal listener and subscriber. I truly appreciate you and hope that you're doing well. Look forward to seeing you now that the weather has changed and we can get out and hopefully my mouth will cooperate so that I won't be in a bad flare. So I can go out and have some fun, the month of April. It's nice weather, things are blooming, people are getting out more. Moving on to Kyle Few, commitment to love. Love is a verb. If you haven't looked it up, I tell all of you all the time you can find it on Audible through Amazon. And it's great for just learning how to be in a cohesive relationship, whether that's loving yourself, your family members, your partner, your fiance, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. And then, of course, Creative Cara. Thank you for being a loyal listener and subscriber. I know you've fallen off for a minute, but you're always a loyal listener, subscriber, and commenter. So thank you. I really appreciate that. Lisa Roberts Carmelo, thank you for being a loyal subscriber. I really appreciate you. Um, wish we saw each other and talked to each other more, but you know, we all have busy lives. And Jeff Para, Namaste. I just said on Monday's episode, I haven't really seen you on social media or heard about you and your travels. And then boom, there you were when I was online yesterday, I think it was. So glad to see you're still traveling and doing your thing. And want to make sure I don't leave anybody out. Mike Kaufman, thank you for being a loyal listener and subscriber. Um, to all my other loyal listeners, but not subscribers, Travis Lamir, Dory, Rhonda, Barry Minor, oh gosh, a slew of others. I I don't need to go down the list. You know who you are. And Andrew, thank you. I appreciate you. I appreciate you guys listening and commenting. Hopefully, you remember to like, hit that like button and comment. It helps the algorithm, it helps me, and it helps other people get to see and hear what I have to say. So until next time, ciao for now.