The Grit Blueprint

Grit, Leadership, & Owning Your Value: The Iron & Infrastructure Podcast Reshare

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Stefanie Couch sits down with Jacob Emery on The Iron & Infrastructure Podcast. She shares her journey from working in her family's lumberyard as a child to building a business that helps construction companies be visible and thrive in a challenging industry. She discusses how maintaining uncompromising standards and finding your purpose are essential for creating lasting success and personal fulfillment.

• Growing up in a family lumberyard business and developing an early passion for entrepreneurship
• Transitioning from corporate success to founding Grit Blueprint with a mission to help legacy businesses succeed
• The importance of maintaining high standards without compromise, especially when facing challenges
• Why most people never hold the trophy...they want success without putting in the daily training
• Developing leadership skills by focusing on team building instead of individual contribution
• Finding your "zone of genius" and delegating everything else to accelerate growth
• The "Pursuit 151" mindset: needing 100% commitment but only 51% confidence to start
• Learning to live life on your terms rather than following someone else's blueprint
• The significance of sequencing in building a solid foundation before creating an empire

To learn more about how Grit Blueprint can help your construction business grow and become more visible, connect with Stefanie on LinkedIn or visit gritblueprint.com.


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Stefanie Couch:

You have to be able to say this is our standard here and I will not compromise on that, no matter how hard it is for myself and others, but especially for yourself.

Jacob Emery:

Everybody wants a trophy Stefanie, but nobody wants to be on that training ground day in and day out. Everybody just wants to hold it up and nobody wants to put the work in. And that's why so few people have a standard and that's why so few people actually hold that trophy up. People actually hold that trophy up. What's that? One thing that 5% or 20% of the time that you get to spend doing this thing and you thrive and it generates revenue, it drives the business forward, but you don't do enough of it. How do I get that to be the only thing I do?

Stefanie Couch:

I get up in the morning because I believe my purpose on the earth is to revolutionize the industry that I was born into, and I want undeniable proof that I have done that. I want to be able to sit in my rocking chair and think like I made this better than it was before, with a team of people who are better than they were before because of something we did together, and I'm better than I was before. Welcome to the Grit Blueprint Podcast. I'm your host, stefanie Couch, and what you're about to hear is a conversation I recorded as a guest on another podcast. We're sharing it here to bring you a fresh perspective on building, leading and simply navigating the real-world grit it takes you to move forward, whether you're running a business, building a career or figuring out what's next. I hope this episode gives you something new to think about and something you can use today. Let's dive in.

Jacob Emery:

Welcome to another edition of the Iron and Infrastructure Podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, today we have a special guest. She is a unique individual in her own way. If you didn't notice by the amazing looking pink hat, if you, stefanie, just do a little turnaround, show the people the back of it. Stefanie Couch obviously does not disappoint. She shows up ready to go and she is as authentic of a human as they come. Stefanie, I've had such an amazing time talking to you the last couple months. It has been great to meet you. I am thrilled to have you on the show today. Stefanie, tell the people about yourself because you have so many great accomplishments in life already, from being an opera singer to a speaker, the grit blueprint, corporate life. Stefanie, tell the people who you are.

Stefanie Couch:

Thank you so much for having me on the show. I'm excited to be here. I started in the lumberyard with, honestly, being born. My dad and my granddad and my family had had a lumberyard in Atlanta for a long time, since the 60s, and it was a retail lumberyard. So sometimes you say lumberyard, people think like cutting down trees. But we bought trees already, cut down and sold them to contractors and that's what my family did, and my other side of the family was painters and graders and so real construction background and a lot of entrepreneurs in my family.

Stefanie Couch:

So I grew up doing that, running around the lumberyard, loving the business. I think when I was, you know, five or six, I asked for cash register for Christmas and I've literally just loved business my whole life. You know I wanted to sell Girl Scout cookies. I wanted to be the one that won the competition there. Um, that's just been like me my whole life. So I knew very quickly growing up that I wanted to work in the lumber business and so my dad started letting me go uh, real young to run the cash register and literally booting the old men that were running the cash register like hey, I'll take this one, and they're like God, this kid, you know they were always really nice about it and let me help and do all that. So from there I went to college. I sang, like you said, I did a lot of singing, classically trained at college, which was pretty cool, and got to travel a lot with that. So it kind of paved my way. Instead of being like the football school, like UGA, I went to a place in Georgia that the thing the school did was choir, which is super nerdy and also really cool. And then I graduated and went right back to the lumberyard so got a degree. That was a teaching degree I knew I was never going to use, just wanted to get that piece of paper and went back and just started working at the lumberyard with my dad and the team.

Stefanie Couch:

And then about seven years later, we needed to move for my husband's job and my dad was ready to sell and I just didn't feel like it was the right place for me to buy. That's been a point of contention in my life, like did I do the right thing there or not? I think I did, but I also questioned it every day, you know, because I could have continued that legacy. But he sold in 2012. And I had recently gotten a job at a large distribution company that was one of our customers or, I'm sorry, one of our vendors, and so I went and started working there as a salesperson and kind of worked my way up through the ranks and ended up helping them build a very large startup part of their business in the door business. So I'm a door nerd. I love to sell millwork windows, doors, all that stuff. It's one of my favorite product categories and so that's kind of how I got started.

Jacob Emery:

So you are a builder in general, so you love building, whether it be infrastructure yourself, other people, you solve problems. You are keynote speaker, opera singer, construction worker. I cannot think of a more unique mix into an individual for being in the construction industry. Stefanie, you wear a pink hat, you're vocal, obviously because you sang in the opera. You have a very confident presence about yourself.

Jacob Emery:

It's so unique whenever I get the opportunity to meet successful women in this industry because it's primarily a male dominant industry and so seeing someone like yourself that's came in from five years old and this cash register you know that's how I kind of got my start. I have a video myself at five years old, running a full-size track co and my little feet can't hit the floorboard I'm barely able to reach the levers like it's absolutely hilarious, but we share a similar passion and you know the kind of that starting point. But then you morph into this person who you're, authentic. You're you full transparency, authentic authenticity, and then you really want to help other people and you want to help them in every way possible. And it's unique how we come to solve all these problems throughout our own journey to get a desired outcome for us, but then solving the problem actually becomes serving other people to help solve their problems.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, Well, and I think you know Rory Vaden is somebody that I like to listen to. He talks a lot about personal branding and things. You know Rory Vaden is somebody that I like to listen to. He talks a lot about personal branding and things, but he says that you're mostly uniquely prepared to help the person that you once were, and I think a lot about what I'm doing.

Stefanie Couch:

So fast forward 10 years at corporate. I've helped them build this very large business from like about 10 million to 200 million um with a team of people. Incredible experience for me to go start some greenfield locations, like building doors in a door shop that wasn't there a year before. And then we built it twice in Texas in the middle of COVID. But I just got to a point where I was like, okay, I need something else, like I need to do something else, and I always had this entrepreneurial spirit. So I had a little five month stint where I left that first job, went to another job, got fired. That was a blip on the radar. I really didn't like the job and so my husband and I decided we're going to start our own businesses. We started some LLCs and we just decided like, okay, we're going to go do this thing all in like both of us no job, no health insurance, no, nothing and that was in 2022. And we we started talking to people that were basically the person I used to be. So my dad's lumberyard is really where it started and it took me a little while to kind of like put this together.

Stefanie Couch:

You know, like you, you just do things right and you don't like come out and look at what you're doing or why you're doing or like what your motivation is. At the time, my motivation was to pay my mortgage, because I was going to be living in my mother-in-law's basement in about a month or two. If we didn't figure it out so which I actually really love my mother-in-law that wouldn't have been the worst case scenario at all, but I didn't want to lose everything that I built. But we had been, you know, thinking about it's just like the golden handcuffs of this big salary and like the big, you know safe thing. It's hard, man, like it's hard to leave that. Once you have that at a certain level, it's always hard to start your own thing, but when you're coming out of something that's pretty big, money-wise and security-wise, it's hard to leave it, but the universe made that decision for me and so once I had that happening, it's like okay, what's next?

Stefanie Couch:

And we started thinking about what problem do we know is in the industry? Like we know the industry has this issue that we need to solve and we know that we have something that we want to give the industry. We just don't know how. So I knew training was a problem. I knew that marketing was a problem. Legacy businesses, like my dad's, like a lot of our customers that I had when I was at the lumberyard they ended up needing marketing and help being visible, but they knew nothing about that and didn't want to know it. Like marketing is kind of a cuss word in our industry, like it's not the kind of cuss word, the first thing you get rid of, right?

Stefanie Couch:

It's like not even. It's like well, man, we bought some shirts and we sponsored a golf permit this year and it's like that's okay, that's not really what we're talking about, but cool. So at the end of the day, it's like this is how we're going to do it. That way and this way didn't work, and so we've spent the last two and a half three years trying to figure out what is the real solution that people find valuable, that our market wants, and then we've just iterated from there and built a team. So we've got about a team of like 10 to 12 people, some contractors, some, you know they're working for us and our company is called the Grit Blueprint and we're really helping businesses be visible and grow in the construction industry and related areas.

Stefanie Couch:

We work with some individuals that are in related trades or consultants or people like that, but mostly companies that are like who I used to be, so I figured that out like a few months ago. I'm like, oh my God, like I used to be, so I figured that out a few months ago. I'm like, oh my God, I'm helping me. 12-year-old Stefanie, her dad has this business. I just feel that drive and I think when I have a really hard day. I think about that. I'll try not to get emotional when talking about it. I think about what would have happened if somebody would have known what I know that could have helped this business and had the technology that we have, that we can bring in, like my dad's business would still be open because I would have bought it and I would have had leadership training, mentoring, all those things.

Stefanie Couch:

I would have known what to do or at least had somebody to just help me. You know, I really believe that it happened for a reason, because I'm supposed to do this for other people and I'm glad that it happened the way it did. But I want to help as many businesses as I can to continue that legacy and grow the legacy, like not just have it be there, but be there and thriving. So that's why we're doing what we're doing.

Stefanie Couch:

I mean you know, I think that's what I was put on the earth to do, really.

Jacob Emery:

And so you just figured out something that 99.9% of the people in the world never even think is possible. Yeah, exactly, you found your calling your purpose, and the Joker and Batman both have the same exact backstory.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah.

Jacob Emery:

The Joker and Batman both have the same exact backstory. Yeah, and you think about a coward and a hero. They normally have the same exact circumstances, the reaction and what they do because of that. That creates the outcome for them. And becoming a hero or a coward and I think about the same thing. You know, I want to create a legacy of excellence, not because of myself, but because of the team at RR Pipeline, and just, it's not about me. It's about individual success, absolutely, but it's for team significance. It's about building a dream team. It's like a dynasty you think of any great dynasty in the world. It's not going to last forever. Everyone has an end date in a business and anything in life. We all have the same destination at the end of it. Knowing that it doesn't last forever takes away any discrepancy on thinking that you're obligated to it.

Jacob Emery:

Yep. But when you come together with unity for a common goal to achieve some level of greatness and everybody's aligned and everybody's fighting for the same thing, it doesn't mean you're going to be on the team forever, it doesn't mean that you're always going to win, it doesn't mean it's actually going to work, but when you do that, your chances of actually winning, getting what you want out of it, becomes so much higher. And it's not about no one individual is bigger than a team, and so knowing that is powerful.

Stefanie Couch:

It's so fun to build a team. It's hard, it's also really hard, I know.

Jacob Emery:

for me it's. It's about building up and developing people that deserve it, not the people that need it. Yeah, so, knowing that there's a lot of people that need training myself included, you know I am a freak about, I'm obsessed with learning it's probably almost a detriment to some extent because of the amount of time and obsession I have. But you have to develop the people that earned that development, not the people that actually need it, because there's a fine. There's a really big difference. You know everybody needs it, but not everybody deserves it.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, and the hunger has to be there.

Stefanie Couch:

I think that's the thing. So Ben and I Ben's my husband, um co-founder in the business with me, and he's very opposite of me, which has been really fun to work with, someone who has all of my my weaknesses and can fill in the gaps there, and we've been doing this together since, like I said, 2022, and he's really great at building teams because he was in law enforcement for a long time. There's a certain amount of uh, you know, they talk about the brotherhood, sisterhood of law enforcement and and really at a high level, doing hard things together, and so he's, that's his superpower. Talk about Batman and Robin, like it's, that is his thing, right, and so that's been something I've had to learn, um, because I thought I knew what that meant when I was at corporate and I did have a team and I didn't know what it meant.

Stefanie Couch:

It was still a lot about me. It was still like I can brute force this to work and then they'll just figure it out and follow in line, or either, like I'll just drag them across the finish line and that does work. I mean it does. You can lead with fear, you can lead with foot push, you can do all that. It will work to a certain extent, and then you will cap out very quickly and they'll burn out and they'll leave and everybody will hate you Well and you know when everyone else burns out.

Jacob Emery:

you're sitting there carrying the weight by yourself.

Stefanie Couch:

That's right.

Stefanie Couch:

The whole intent is to have the weight taken off of you so you can evolve with everybody else. Yeah, it feels great until you figure out that your life is hell because you've done everything yourself and there's nowhere else for you to go. You can't move up from that. I think that's the thing. When I have this big shift is like, okay, I am an excellent individual contributor, I can do the things, I can make the things happen, and that feels so great. And you get to a point you're like, okay, I'm making this much, I'm doing this much and I'm I'm there Like I could probably move up, but incrementally, like very small, right.

Stefanie Couch:

But if I figure out how to bottle that up and then use other people's strengths that I suck at, like my husband's a great example, okay, then maybe we don't 2X that, we 5X it or 10X it. Then if I can get 10 savages that are on a team that are like we are going to go freaking, do this Like I think about very dramatically the movie 300, which is so funny to hear a girl in a pink hat say that right, but I'm like let's go conquer the world. You know, that's how I feel when I get up in the morning. But if 10 of us are screaming that and running to the battlefield every day, no matter what the battlefield is, it doesn't matter if it really is a battlefield or it's like just business. If you have that type of energy, with 10 people like you, conquer the world.

Jacob Emery:

I mean, I don't know what you can't do. Yeah, yeah, I love it. I always reference the analogy of a draft force. So one draft force by itself can pull 8,000 pounds, but two draft forces that are unified in sync and you know, pulling in sync with that unity together, 32,000 pounds, which is double what you would think of being with two of them individually. And you think about that. That's exactly what leadership is about, that's what unity is about, and having that it's it's not. There are no shortcuts in business, but, by God, there are accelerators and knowing that, if I can get this person to compliment my strengths and weaknesses, they strong in the areas I'm weak. What's possible? Everything is possible at that point, unless defied by physics or law or a matter of fact that it can't be done. It's possible.

Stefanie Couch:

It's just figuring out how to get there and the other thing that I'll say to that is like when you have motivation, that wanes and it will wane and you will have, like you we were talking before this about getting kicked in the teeth Like you're going to have days and weeks and maybe months that you just get kicked all the time. And if you're by yourself, like who will pick you up? You have to pick yourself up or you have to have your own motivation, which can happen, right. But if you're with a team or even just one person that has a hard day and you have a good day, it balances like they'll pull you along right, they'll keep you going, and so that's the thing I love about leadership that I didn't see coming and I just wasn't self-aware enough to understand how valuable it was. And I think that the higher you get in your business career, the more you do, the more you learn, the more you see.

Stefanie Couch:

And Dave Ramsey is somebody I really like. He just came out with a new book recently and he talks a lot about leadership and you know especially people who are sales inclined. Like you think you can win by yourself, because you can't, like you can. You can make it happen, right. Right, because you're bringing in revenue. But at some point you got to figure out like, oh man, this game actually is a talent game and this game is a leadership game and if I'm good at sales, that will get me here, and if I'm good at leadership, it will get us here. And that is like something that just illuminated like a big billboard to me about I don't know a a year and a half ago, two years ago, and my husband helped me figure that out a lot. He listens we both listen to Jocko and stuff and all these people it's like they're way smarter, way richer, way more successful than me are saying talent and leadership. And I'm like cool, I got to figure this out.

Jacob Emery:

I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm trying every day this out.

Jacob Emery:

I haven't figured it out yet, but I'm trying every day. And it's not a natural talent per se, it's the development of the people on the team. And so I have a coaching program now called Unlocking Greatness, and I think I told you about it right before it launched. And you know, one of my leadership coaching sessions was about the traffic light leadership. That's what I call it.

Jacob Emery:

You think about terrible leadership. It's a red light to me and it's the person that's cutthroat. We're in the construction industry. I don't have to explain it to you, but for the people listening it's cutthroat, it's all about me. How can I use you to get what I want? And nobody cares about anybody else but themselves. And it's probably the most common in our industry. It really is. It's very, very common and it's ultimately the reason that a lot of businesses in our industry you know, in construction blue collar workforce implode because you for their own individual success and it scales them so far in the workforce they become, you know, mediocre leader maybe, but they're out there really just to get their desired outcome, but they will help other people to get themselves what they want.

Jacob Emery:

And then you have that green light, you have the transformational leader and that is the person who loves the people that they lead. They don't just lead them because they love to lead, they love the people that they lead. They are always about unity, about the abundance and opportunity kind of culture, and your leadership does determine your culture. You look at leadership. It's a direct correlation to culture. So what's your leader do every day? You know, are they preaching one thing and doing the opposite? If you show up every day and set a standard for yourself, everybody sees it. You can say a lot, but what you do is what is seen and what's captured. And so if you're doing X and then you say Y, nobody's going to believe you. They're going to sniff it out very quick. How you lead is ultimately how people follow you. So if you're reluctant to buy something or you don't think you're worthy enough to invest yourself in coaching, you're probably not going to sell very well.

Jacob Emery:

How you buy is how you ultimately sell, and I truly believe that everything in life, what you focus on, expands and what you give to the world, the world gives back to you. Thing in life, what you focus on expands and what you give to the world, the world gives back to you. If you're just a shitty person in general and you don't like to help other people, if people are laying down and you won't pick them up by God. If you're laying down, don't expect someone to put a hand out to you because it's going to be reciprocated that way and that's the thing in our industry. That's why I love what you do, because you bring a presence to yourself like hey, I look different, I am different. Here I am, I'm Stefanie and I'm a badass. Nice to meet you and let's go do this thing and win. That in itself is an extreme confident power that you have, because it's not known in our industry in general.

Jacob Emery:

Just blue-collar workforce, very traditional. I drink coffee until I drink alcohol. I got to chew or smoke in. You know it. I don't even have to go into the depth side, but we know exactly what it is and it's not that they're bad people, but it's it's just a status quo, that is, it's slowly dying and that's why I think we have such a unique shortage in workforce compared to opportunity.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, it's, the opportunity here is huge. You know, workforce compared to opportunity. Yeah, it's, the opportunity here is huge. You know, for anyone that is a younger person that wants to like make it happen for them, I can't think of a better industry. Honestly, whether it's building materials, which is kind of more, you know like where I'm used to being not quite as rough and tumble as like true construction construction you know that's the hard work and it's it takes a certain amount of person to actually be out there physically doing that stuff, and so I think there's a lot of myriad of opportunity in our industry so you could be in sales and never be on a physical like track hoe, or you could be out there swinging a hammer or an L gun or whatever. You can kind of choose that and then go all these different places. I mean there is so much opportunity.

Stefanie Couch:

So I want to kind of hit on something you said that I think is just really like hitting me and resonating with me right now, because I talked to my team about this. A lot is the word standards and you know you think about like what is your standard for yourself is how everything in your business starts to then either rise or fall to that right and like habits is. Is the not what you do, your goals, but it's the systems. Well, systems and standards. Because you've got this thing you set.

Stefanie Couch:

And my team asked me we were talking this week about a design project we were doing and, um, I don't know, somebody sent something back and it we had three options and they were all contractors and they came back with some logos and they weren't bad. They were just kind of like lackluster, honestly. And I told my creative director. I was like I don't know, like it just doesn't, this is not, it's not good enough yet. And, um, it wasn't because someone else designed it and I didn't design it, cause I didn't really have an answer either for what it should there yet, and she agreed I was like you know this? And she said our, our standards too high? And I said, hell, no, they're not too high.

Stefanie Couch:

And I said and here's why, because I can tell you when I see the thing, that and you and she's got a great eye and she's amazing Um, I said, when we see the thing, that is the right thing, we'll know that that's the standard and we know that on other projects we that way. A lot of times when she sends me stuff I'm like I have no notes and this just wasn't there yet. And so if you are willing to compromise on your standards, on something small like a logo that probably the client would have still loved they thought it would be awesome, but it wasn't good enough, and there is a limit to that of like perfectionism is not possible, but there is a standard. And so we have high standards as people you and I both uh, you know what we do, what we're willing to compromise on all those things.

Stefanie Couch:

And I think, with leadership, that actually is the most important thing that I've realized is you have to be able to say this is our standard here and I will not compromise on that, no matter how hard it is for myself and others, but especially for yourself. And so if you're going to have a standard that's super high, then you have to know that to get there and stay there is going to be really freaking hard. Like it's not going to be something that just is like phoning in on a Tuesday. You know four hour work week need not apply. That book is kind of BS for 99% of businesses and 99% of people especially in our industry.

Stefanie Couch:

Like, come on, but you read that stuff and you hear these people that are like, oh yeah, I hit a million in like three days and blah, blah, blah, blah. It's like yeah, there's somewhere, somebody did that. But most of the time these real businesses that will be here in 20 years, 30 years, they are hard. That's why no one wants them, because it's hard to go out and work on a grader every day. It's hard to build a house in Georgia and do roofing in summer in the 150 degree heat.

Stefanie Couch:

It's hard to do what I'm doing and I'm not even outside, I'm in the AC, but it's still hard to do it, and so that's like your standard is what will keep you there and it's what will help you be the best. But very few people are willing to be uncompromising on that, and it still tests me most days.

Stefanie Couch:

But you've got to remember why you're doing it and so if you have that purpose, um, I think a lot about my dad and my granddad, who had very high standards and it's like I have those standards and I'm not going to be the one to let myself down and look back and be like, well shit, I took the easy way out and now I'm not where I want to be because I knew I was taking a shortcut. You know, it's just.

Jacob Emery:

I love this. I love it. Stefanie, you were hitting on something near and dear to my heart, because I am non-negotiable on my daily standard, and you touched on so many things James Clear, atomic Habits one of my favorite books, the first book that I would ever recommend that and the Compound Effect for personal development, because personal development starts with building habits. We don't rise to the level of our goals, we fall to the level of our systems. And that is a quote from James Clear and it is one of the most profound and true statements that could ever be made. Having goals on a poster and goals that are aspirational are great, but show me what your schedule looks like, what's your standard in life? And so, for me, my standards are the standards of greatness. The standards of greatness are no snooze. We don't hit the snooze button.

Jacob Emery:

You start the day on your schedule, so you set this thing in place to make sure that you are doing what you're supposed to do on your time the way that you need to. It starts the day that way no snooze. Then it's physical output 10 minutes minimum, but physical output every day, and 10 minutes of intentional movement. It doesn't have to be a powerlifting meet. You don't have to go run a marathon, but 10 minutes of. Maybe it's a walk when you wake up, maybe it's yoga or anything where you're intentionally moving your body for getting momentum in the right direction. And then you have physical output, then mental input. If you collect garbage, you're going to put out garbage, garbage in, garbage out. So we want to collect quality 10 minutes every day Because that compound effect of that habit being in place over time, 10 minutes a day becomes 60 hours in a year.

Jacob Emery:

60 hours in a year is a lot of time. And we're talking 10 minutes a day, which is a fraction of your day. And then you have to track and attack every day. Track and attack. You track your progress and you attack every day with the intent behind. What does your day look like? I don't care if you're taking a nap. If you're taking a nap, attack that nap like it's the best nap you're ever going to have, because it's just about being intentional with your attention and focusing on the thing that you're meant to do that day. It's not half in, half out. You're just being dedicated to what you set out to do and it doesn't have to be some aspirational thing. It could be a recovery day where you're just focused on disconnecting, completely Sure.

Jacob Emery:

And then the last one is gratitude and preparation. Every day you've got to end with gratitude Win or learn. We don't lose. So every day is gratitude. And then prepare for the next day, because today's success started last night and it's the simple things. Like you got your clothes out for the day every every night, stefanie. I'm like, I'm like a three-year-old with this. I have my clothes out for the gym. I'm gonna close out for my business day. I know what my next day looks like. I know what my workout looks like, my alarm set, I got a gallon jug of aminos and everything I need for the day, ready to go. There's zero thought process that I have before 7 am and the preparation. If it's not in place, you're set up to fail already.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, it's so true, especially when you're really busy and you're operating in the high level. I know we you know we talked a little bit about um and my husband, ben like totally subscribes to this is he pretty much wears the same thing every day, like a black t-shirt. Um, he wears a Richardson 112 hat and some days is front and some days it's backwards, so he mixes it up some days. But you know he wears chubby shorts. So he worked in law enforcement for a long time. He wore a uniform and a duty belt and the Georgia heat with a bulletproof vest on and sweated his guts off every day. And it's like so he wants to wear his chubbies in a black shirt every day. I don't give a shit what he wears. He does whatever he needs to do. He's working in his office, working on the business, and I get to wear what I want. So he subscribes to that and so he doesn't really have to ask his gym clothes are his work clothes. He changes, so we have to wash two sets of them because he's sweaty, but they're the same outfit and I don't give a crap, you know. And so that's.

Stefanie Couch:

The thing is like how do you make those decisions that don't really matter in the scheme of things, they make those easy and regimented so that then the big things that actually matter you can have time to decide on. That's really important, I think, the higher you get. You know, I know a lot of people have kids. I don't have kids, but like you got kids, you got a wife or a husband or you know extracurriculars, family stuff, whatever's happening. You want to be able to spend time doing that stuff, not worrying about little things that don't matter.

Stefanie Couch:

You know we have started ordering. Like a lot of times we'll eat lunch and dinner prep meals like mega fit, fit meals, because I don't want to have to cook and do dishes like. I would love to have time eventually in my life that if I wanted to do that, I could. I used to like to bake, but I don't have time in this season of my life to do that, and so it's about prioritizing and I think it is like what standards do you want to keep? And then, what standards are you willing to like? Hey, you know what? Maybe I don't have to do this every day, cause it doesn't really drive anything. I'm going to let that go, and some of the things are easy to let go, you know.

Jacob Emery:

Yeah Well, I mean, what's the ROI on it? So what's the return on investment in your life? What do you want out of life, you know? Just having clarity of what your life is going to look like in five years or 10 years, right? Or what the hell you even desire to have tomorrow.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah.

Jacob Emery:

You know I often ask people perfect day scenario Tomorrow you wake up with all the financial means, the free schedule, you never have to do anything again. What do you do? Yeah, A lot of people couldn't even think about answering that question.

Stefanie Couch:

I write that in my journal every single day.

Jacob Emery:

I love it. Perfect day scenario is something that I'm just very passionate about, because you know, Stefanie, what's unique? I would change some things on my day to day, but a lot of what I do I would still keep doing, and that's how I know I'm starting to get that freedom that I desire to have. I would still wake up at 3 am and train with the group of guys that I do.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah.

Jacob Emery:

I can't not do it because I know how it makes me feel, because it's my standard, yeah, and so thinking about the standards and what you do, it becomes a lifestyle, like the clothes thing I don't even think about what I wear, and so it's a thoughtless process where I don't want to have to make decisions on things that are not going to create value or fulfillment in my life and it's to each their own. It doesn't mean that that's the right way or the wrong way for everybody, but what your problems look like on a day-to-day or what decisions are draining you, ultimately become your constraint in life. Yeah, for sure, if you're in traffic and someone cuts you off and you're just irate and got road rage and it ruins your day, your problems aren't big enough. Yeah, if you get a medium steak and it comes fully cooked, it's like, oh, the steaks go in and ruins your day. Yeah, you need to have bigger problems.

Stefanie Couch:

It's funny that you say that, because I think the bigger our business gets, the more like. I used I never had like that kind of thing, but it was like the little things would stress me out. You know of like out, you know of like, well, what are we going to do here and what are we going to do here? And I would have everything planned. And now it's like okay, I'm literally sitting in front of this place that I'm supposed to do this thing. Let me check my calendar and see if I'm even the right place I'm supposed to be. Um, because I don't even really know people like, where are you going to be next week? I'm like you know what? I know that I'm going to be in Salt Lake City next week and the week after that I'm going to Minneapolis, and any other details. I will have to check my calendar, because I don't remember and it doesn't really matter, I'll just get into the airport and then look to see where I'm going to call the Uber to go.

Jacob Emery:

I'm so bad about that now. My EA has absolutely saved my life and changed my life, because I always reference her being the COO of my life. What do I got next week? I'm not really sure. Yeah, it'll probably be. Whatever she tells me tomorrow or the end of the week. I'll let you know when I get there Exactly. But that's the thing. Like, I don't want to manage my calendar, I don't want to manage my schedule, I'm going to say yes, that's whatnot, but ultimately I don't want to clear my inbox out.

Jacob Emery:

That's something I suck at and I probably lost millions of dollars in opportunity just because I didn't have timely responses. That's the last thing I want to do. I hate it and I suck at it. So why would I actually want to do it? And it's just about figuring out what you're uniquely gifted at. I'm a strategic coach and we call it unique ability. What's that one thing? That 5% or 20% of the time that you get to spend doing this thing and you thrive and it generates revenue. It drives the business forward and it doesn't bog you down. You love it and you are just great at it, and it's something that you just desire to do all the time but you don't do enough of it, and that's what I think, what you would probably say you're doing too. How do I get that to be the only thing I do?

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, it's. It's hard because you have to find the right person to do the other stuff and you're never going to find you again. So you know it's like, okay, well, that person's not as good. That's usually not even true, honestly. But at first you're like, well, they're not going to be able to be as good at this thing. You know, we both like Dan Martell too, I think, about his book Buy Back your Time a lot.

Stefanie Couch:

I just recently listened to it again because it's like every time I listen to it it hits me again Like, oh yeah, you're wasting a lot of time doing this thing. You should be paying someone else that's better at to do. But I think about the things that I like to do that I am really good at, like sales, you know, building businesses, strategic vision, the creative stuff is so fun. You know, like God, it's so fun for me to do that stuff and I love it. But eventually, if the business grows enough, I will have to stop doing a lot of those things.

Stefanie Couch:

It's not the stuff you don't like, like the data spreadsheets. Pretty easy for me to outsource accounting. It was the first thing I ever did. I hate that, but the things you love, they're harder to delegate because you want to hold on to them and you feel like you're the best. But if you want to grow the business enough, you're eventually going to have to be, you know, the person that says, okay, well, there is someone else that can do this, probably better than me, and I need to hire them.

Jacob Emery:

And the best part of so I'm in Dan Martell's coaching program and it's a weekly group coaching call. It has changed everything about my life, stefanie. I cannot speak highly enough about it. And he talks about poor people spend their time to save money. Rich people spend their money to save time. He references buying a jet and so he has his own jet and this is what he does with it. And he said if it saves me $25,000 a a day, I will go, hop on my jet and use it. And it's not. He's just not flying around dicking off all day like going on these luxury vacations. He's doing six or seven podcasts. He's going to this event. He is the keynote speaker here, so he's very strategic about it.

Jacob Emery:

But his ability to scale operations and just the way he views the world I have never seen anything like it. I mean that man can absolutely demoralize you and pick you up in the same breath and put you on this pedestal and give you the empowerment to know that you're worthy of it. It's simple scales, complex fails, the simple things. We are creatures of distraction and so keep the main thing the main thing and nothing else matters. This priority has to be fixed and everything else will fall. Second to that, don't ask me about my time, because it's a no. This is the only thing that matters, because if this doesn't work I die.

Jacob Emery:

And if you have that frame of mind, sometimes when it's hard it doesn't become hard, it becomes clear and you get clarity about it, and then you just know what you got to go do. And then you learn so much in that journey to get to that certain point. But nobody wants to climb the mountain, they just want the view at the top. And everybody wants a trophy Stefanie, but nobody wants to be on that training ground day in and day out. Everybody just wants to hold it up and nobody wants to put the work in. And that's why so few people have a standard and that's why so few people actually hold that trophy up in the end anyways.

Stefanie Couch:

But that also makes it easier for those who are willing to endure the pain to see like, hey, I will go farther and harder and longer than anyone else. That's all you have to do, because the rest of the skills, no one's going to be there competing against you, probably at the end, because you're the only one that's maybe committed enough, stupid enough, I don't know. All of the above to keep going, and so I think that's. The thing I figured out is like I'm not smarter than a lot of people, I'm not richer, I'm not whatever, I just work hard. And someone told me, like you're the hardest worker, they, they uh told me that the other day, like you're the hardest worker I know, and I was like, oh my God, such a compliment. Like and it's not, but it's not working hard. Like it's not just that I want to do the hard thing, that's the, whatever it is, it's hopefully working on the hardest working thing, on the best thing.

Stefanie Couch:

That's my elite, like gift in the world, right, so it's figuring out it's not just about working hard. Is working hard on the zone of genius that's Stefanie couch or, you know, that's Jacob or whoever else it is. That's if you can do both. That's where it really starts to get dangerous and I didn't know that for a long time. I finally figured out about four years ago. You know, I'm a CliftonStrengths coach and I did that because I figured out my strengths and then I was like oh, this is why I'm not like all these other people. It's not just the pink hat, I think this is pre-pink hat.

Stefanie Couch:

I was still pretty weird. I mean, I always wore a lot of colors and floral prints.

Stefanie Couch:

It didn't quite fit in with the golf polos and khakis and you know driving moccasins. But that part I was like, okay, here's the deal I lead with influencing. Oh, okay, that's why I don't care as much about the spreadsheets as I do like all these other things. And this is why I want to do public speaking and why I'm driven to do these things that other people are like why are you such a show off? Why do you always want to be on stage? It's like, well, I don't know. I mean, I'm a songbird. God gave me that gift. Like, is there a reason that you want me to not use my voice, that I was given to probably use my voice.

Jacob Emery:

Right.

Stefanie Couch:

And then finally, you're like well, the person who has the duct tape that doesn't want me to use it. I will just get away from you and not give a shit what you think, and I will still use my voice. And so once you kind of figure out what your strength is, what you're here for, and that you're going to do it no matter what anybody else thinks like that's pretty fricking powerful. It takes a while to get there.

Jacob Emery:

It does, because hearing the perception from other people, then realizing that you can go on a weight loss journey, you know if you're 400 pounds you lose 100 pounds everybody's going to see that shit. They know that dude lost some weight, put the work in, but internal growth is invisible. Internal growth isn't often recognized and the worst part about it, and the most demoralizing part, as you grow internally and you realize it, the people that are closest to you don't see it. They see you still as the person you used to be. Yeah, they don't recognize the new you.

Jacob Emery:

So when you meet someone new, it's like they just said some really profound shit to me. That I don't think is true, because it's the environment of people that you've had around you for so long that don't even recognize your own growth and it becomes like this mild expectation that this is just who you are, but ultimately it's just you thriving in an environment of people that are dragging you down. And then you just start realizing, like you know what I don't believe what that person's saying is true to me. I think I am better than that, or I am different, or I have put the work in to know with confidence I am this person and just recognize your own value. It's hard because there's a fine line between arrogance and confidence, but I always break it down to this simple thing for me, it's confidence is speaking in terms of you know who you are, with proof that you have accomplished that thing.

Jacob Emery:

Arrogance is you saying that I am this person but have never accomplished it, that you desire to be that person. We desire things in life but we don't deserve anything we don't have. You have to put in the time to earn the thing to deserve it. If you don't have it, you don't deserve it. And that, to me, is just a simple fact of life. Because saying that you are somebody that you're not, show me your homework. I always say that. Show me your homework. If you say this thing is factual, show me the proof that you have, show me the breakdown of this homework that you have to be so confident in that. If you don't have the homework, if you don't have the documentation to show me with a matter of fact that this is the reality, I want some verification there to trust all the way.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, and I think that's why you get up in the morning, right? Is that undeniable proof? But not. I mean, it is obviously to the world. But I'm getting up in the morning and I'm working my ass off to get better every day and to grow this business and to be a better leader and to do all the things, and I want to revolutionize the building industry. I get up in the morning because I believe my purpose on the earth is to revolutionize the industry that I was born into into the next generation, and I want undeniable proof that I have done that to myself, not to anyone else to myself.

Stefanie Couch:

It will never be enough. For me I've figured that out as well because of some of my strengths, like significance. It'll never be enough. I'll always want the next thing and that's okay. I'm okay with knowing that. But I want to be able to sit in my rocking chair and think like I made this better than it was before, with a team of people who are better than they were before because of something we did together, and I'm better than I was before. And hopefully I have a lot of mini cows and howling and animals around me too, because that's on my wants list too. Like you think about your perfect day. There's a lot of freaking furry animals around a lot, and then my husband's like who the hell's going to take care of these? I was like what are you going to do with all your spare time? You're going to take care of many hound cows it's pretty simple and golden retrievers. I mean, what else could you want in life?

Jacob Emery:

Well, for me, I don't want any of that. So that's all you. I'll send them all your way.

Stefanie Couch:

You can have all of them, I keep waiting for someone to send me a real mini hound cow, because they send me stickers. They send me like all the things like they're only $12,000. What are they waiting on? I don't understand, and Ben's like, what they did that. Where would you put it? We live in a townhouse. Right now I'm like on the back deck. There's a really simple answer to this.

Jacob Emery:

So I'll have to send you a picture of it. I have a skull of a Highland cow that a friend of mine actually raised a couple hours South of where I live in Southern Ohio, and I actually have, um, a coat off one too, so a hide off of one that was preserved and it's it's pretty sweet.

Stefanie Couch:

I'll send it to you, um well, they're pretty cute and I only want like five or six of them. And you know so many donkeys, like I watched the Martha Stewart documentary, um, and she has donkeys and like all these things, like minus the going to jail part and maybe not being as nice sometimes. Yeah, that's kind of it, right like parts of Martha Stewart's life, parts of, like you know, some other people's lives little Warren Buffett mixed in, I'd be cool with that it's just about doing you, though, right back to the authenticity.

Jacob Emery:

It's about defining your own success, getting that thing, and then, if nobody else likes it, so what? There's only one dream that can be lived out for every human in the world, and it's the one that they want or it's the one that someone else has for them, and you have to make a choice, and there's a fine line or a fine point in time where everybody might have the best intent for you, but it doesn't mean that's what's best for you. And knowing that, okay, I can only live one dream, and I have to pick mine or someone else's for me. Why the hell would you live anybody else's dream for yourself? You have to live your own dream. Be courageous enough to know that I am worthy to accomplish this thing or to live life on my terms. I have the best intent for other people too, but it doesn't mean my thought for them is what's actually best for them. Yeah, so live life on your terms. Chase your own dream. We all have fingers right. We all have fingerprints. That's what your dream is like. It's unique and it's only yours. Nobody else can actually see what your dream is, so you got to go get it and you've got to make it a reality.

Jacob Emery:

And I think the most epic failure in life would be for myself to be on my deathbed one day and just think you know what. I should have taken that chance, or I should have done this or I should have done that. I lived life on someone else's terms, not my own. That is catastrophic failure at the finest to me, because I'm going to live life on my terms. I catastrophic failure at the finest to me because I'm going to live life on my terms. I'm going to pull up great people that want to go along this journey with me and I'm going to help everyone I can and serve them along the way. But, man, I'm going to live out my own dream first, and that is power at the finest, I think.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, we got to be all in on what we want in life and what we are put here to do. You know, I think once you figure that out, you're like okay, I mean, what's the point of doing it half-ass you got to go all in.

Jacob Emery:

I want to. I want to transition to closing out with this pursuit 151. It's my, my motto in life, whenever committing to something, whenever it's a new endeavor. When I started this podcast stefanie I don't know if you realize this or not I'm not a very good speaker and when I started this it was one of the biggest weaknesses of my entire life and fears.

Jacob Emery:

And Pursuit 151, it's very simple 100% commitment, 51% confidence.

Jacob Emery:

I was 100% committed to this thing for a bigger vision for my life and for the team that I want to build.

Jacob Emery:

But confidence was not the strongest, it was at least 51%, and I realized that we have to just be committed for the outcome, to ever have a chance of seeing that outcome be real. But confidence comes as we start doing the thing and commit to never quitting on it and not letting failure set in and not deviating from the path. We have to commit a hundred percent, but confidence grows as you commit, and confidence of 51% told me that I know enough to be dangerous and ask the right questions. I have people around me that will help guide me to that ultimate dream, but I'm not very good at this and that's just a reality that I have to face, but I'm 51% confident that I can get the desired outcome. So pursue 151, 100% commitment, 51% confidence. That has been a driving force for me in so many scenarios now, because knowing that you're not that confident but you're at least 51%, for me it's all I need to know that I'm willing to pursue this thing if I'm 100% committed.

Stefanie Couch:

I love that. Yeah, usually ask myself what's the worst that can happen. You know, like what would happen if I did this and it was a complete, miserable, utter failure. Would I die? And if the answer is no, that I could, you know, live through it. I would go another day. Then I'm better just go do it, you know and.

Stefanie Couch:

I think that doesn't mean taking like unnecessary risks that are just played out stupid, but like you don't jump off the cliff without a parachute, but then again, if the cliff is only six inches off the ground, what really is the risk? So at the end of the day, like, what do you know about the situation? And I think Colin Powell has a rule that I like, it's 40-70 principle. So if you're 41 sure or you know 70% sure in that little range, that's the window to jump, and I've tried to do that as much as I can. But really just asking yourself, like what would happen if I did this? And it was an epic failure. The answer is I could live on. I'm going for it.

Jacob Emery:

Every failure in life besides death is psychological.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah.

Jacob Emery:

Every single one, because it's just our perception of that failure. If it doesn't kill us, it's what we think about it. That is ultimately failure Absolutely, and that's why win or learn. Never lose. I love it Awesome. Never losing because you're losing is accepting failure, it's accepting loss, it's accepting this thing that is perceived, but when in reality, it's a learning lesson, you perceive it that way. That's what it becomes, and so you know.

Jacob Emery:

One other thing I want to I want to mention as we close out. There's a sequence in life that we just we don't build this empire on a sand foundation. Sequencing equals success. We have to take the steps and put the work in at the lower level to build the foundation, become the person that ultimately has an empire built, and if you're just building a constant sand foundation and expecting to build this big building on it, it's going to crumble before it even gets all the way up. So there is an order in life where you just have to become the best version of you, figure out who you want to become later in life. You can't start, though, with the sand foundation and never evolve from that. So, just knowing that sequencing equals success, you have to put the time and effort and energy in. There are no shortcuts, but finding the accelerators in life, I think, is ultimately what drives the difference between success and burnout.

Stefanie Couch:

Sure, I love that. Yeah, I mean, like you said no, no shortcuts, but accelerators is a great way to put it is you can do things to steal people's uh, 10 000 hours, as they say. Like alex ramosi says, you can do stuff that will give you a gain that you couldn't have probably ever gotten in a short period of time unless you knew someone that had done that, that had been to the battle. You know you need a sherpa. If you can find one, it'd be a lot easier to climb Everest with one than without one.

Jacob Emery:

Action doesn't equal accomplishment. Look at a hamster wheel and the hamster on it. They're just going in the same thing. They're working really damn hard, stefanie, but I promise you they're not getting a different outcome.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, hard work alone is not enough.

Jacob Emery:

No, if you're not getting smarter with the hard work, then you're just doing that hamster wheel thing and I think that's a leading indicator in our industry of misery and burnout.

Stefanie Couch:

Yeah, for sure. Like you said, a lot of drinking goes on at night because people are miserable in their existence and they don't know how to get out or off the hamster wheel. So I think it's important to know where you're driving towards and how to find the people that can help you get to what you want to do. It always goes back to the who, so I think it's important.

Jacob Emery:

Yeah, if you don't know where you're going in life, any road will absolutely get you there, and that is the thing about it. Having just clarity of direction is so important. Stefanie, you obviously have clarity of direction. I cannot thank you enough for your time. I'm going to give you the floor to close out the show. Tell the people where they can find you at and what your social media links are, what you're about, anything that you want to promote or whatever you got. Just throw it out there. It's yours.

Stefanie Couch:

So the easiest place to find me is probably my LinkedIn, stefanie Couch, and it's Stefanie with an F instead of a PH and I'll be wearing a pink hat so I'm easy to spot. And then I do a lot of speaking at industry conferences and things like that. So, like, if you're out and about in the construction world and you see me, please, please, give me a shout out. But LinkedIn and I have a YouTube and a podcast, but I'm out there. So Grit Blueprint is my company, and if you are looking to grow or be more visible and figure out how to get to be seen and then known and chosen, and you're in the construction or building industry, I would love to chat with you if you think it might be a good fit and your podcast is called the grit blueprint that's right I guess yeah yep, and jacob was on it.

Stefanie Couch:

His episode is coming out soon, so we're we're exchanging podcast uh spots here and I love it, so thank you for having me on. It was was a great conversation, as usual. I love talking to you.

Jacob Emery:

Stefanie, it's always a great time, so many great things that you have put out there and so many great things you've accomplished and for what you've done in this type of industry is absolutely something to be proud of, so something that deserves the utmost recognition, and I'm absolutely humbled that you came on the show today. So appreciate your time once again. This has been absolutely awesome.

Stefanie Couch:

Thank you. That's it for this episode of the Grit Blueprint podcast. For more tools, training and industry content, make sure to subscribe here and follow me on LinkedIn and other social media platforms To find out more about how Grit Blueprint can help you grow your business. Check us out at our website, gritblueprintcom.

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