Building a Million Dollar Network: How to Make Better First Impressions With Confidence

If networking events feel awkward, this episode will show you how to network with confidence, start better conversations, and build real business relationships that last. Stefanie and Ben Couch break down practical networking tips for remembering names, making a strong first impression, reading body language, following up on LinkedIn, and knowing when to turn a conversation into an opportunity. You’ll learn how to stand out without sounding salesy, avoid common networking mistakes, and use personal brand, business cards, and simple follow-up systems to grow your network faster. This is tactical advice for business owners, sales leaders, and building industry professionals who want more visibility, stronger relationships, and more opportunities from every room they walk into.

What you'll take away today:
How to start conversations without feeling awkward
How to ask better questions and make people feel seen
How to read body language and leave conversations the right way
How to follow up fast so good meetings turn into real relationships
How to stand out through confidence, style, and personal brand

Chapter Markers:
00:00 How to follow up after networking
02:41 Why networking matters for business growth
04:44 How to be more approachable at events
05:36 How to ask better networking questions
07:26 How to remember names at networking events
09:31 How to build trust with warmth and competence
10:11 When to pitch and when not to
13:52 How to overcome networking anxiety
16:40 How to make people feel included at events
20:57 How to avoid awkward long conversations
22:04 How to read body language in networking
25:39 How to make a strong first impression
29:00 Why your phone hurts networking
31:06 Why physical business cards still matter
34:57 How to keep networking conversations balanced
36:47 What to wear to networking events
42:12 How to build a memorable personal brand

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👉 About Stefanie Couch & Grit Blueprint

I'm Stefanie Couch, the founder of Grit Blueprint. I grew up in a third-generation building supply business. I've worked inside dealers, distributors, and manufacturers. I built Grit Blueprint to solve problems I saw in our industry.

Grit Blueprint is a visibility, media, and growth partner for manufacturers, distributors, dealers, service providers, and leaders in the building industry.
We help you get seen, build trust, and become unmistakable.

Transcript

Proactive Follow-Up Beats Waiting

Stefanie Couch 0:00

If they are someone who you actually want to stay connected with, do not wait for them to connect with you. You proactively connect with them on LinkedIn, you proactively email them. Do not wait on we should have lunch sometime. And if they're really busy and they're especially running a larger company, do not expect them to do it. They're not. Have a plan before you walk up to that person. Have something that you're going to say to them. Try to connect with them on something that you have in common with them. Lead with the compliment.

Ben Couch 0:26

But a genuine compliment.

Welcome And Why Networking Matters

Stefanie Couch 0:27

Genuine compliments only. Like please do not give compliments you don't mean. There needs to be something about you that's memorable. Most likely it's the conversation you have with them about them that they're going to remember. That is the secret to life is how do you connect with people in a way that they feel like they are special because of what you did with them and for them. Welcome to the Grit Blueprint Podcast. I'm your host, Stefanie Couch. This is a spot where leaders talk about the stories, strategies, and systems that win in the building industry. We unpack how leaders and brands build their reputations and become unmistakable. Welcome to the Grit Blueprint Podcast. I'm your host, Stefanie Couch, and today I'm joined by my husband and co-founder of Grit Blueprint, Ben Couch. Welcome to the show, Ben.

Ben Couch 1:19

Thank you for having me.

Stefanie Couch 1:20

Thanks for being on. You're becoming quite the frequent guest here, and I really like it.

Ben Couch 1:24

I think it is because of proximity, because I'm here.

Stefanie Couch 1:30

Not your charm, not my character. Really? I disagree.

Ben Couch 1:35

I think you would prefer to have Heidi Pearl on here, but she's a strong silent type. Yeah, she's currently eating her bed. Heidi Pearl, no, no, don't eat your bed.

Stefanie Couch 1:44

She knows when we're busy doing business stuff, and so she takes full advantage.

Ben Couch 1:48

I wanted to have you on your show today to ask you a question.

Stefanie Couch 1:53

Well, first off, let me let me just start by saying one of the things that we're trying to do for 2026 is, you know, just have more episodes of podcasts, more conversations about really tactical stuff that helps people in a way that, you know, they're interested in. So that's going to lead to Ben being on the show more, maybe doing a little bit of like flip the switch where he's kind of interviewing me, uh, or we're just having a general discussion. Did you bring it up? Okay, well, Heidi Pearl would like to interrupt this very important message to bring us her asparagus toy. Thank you for that, Heidi Pearl.

Ben Couch 2:24

Beautiful. There we're done. You see the asparagus. All right, there you go. Thank you for show and tell today.

Stefanie Couch 2:31

She's going to chew that right in the middle of this podcast.

Ben Couch 2:33

You know, and I'm not even going to have Jim edit that out. We're going to have the the soft chewing of the asparagus in the background, necessarily, Ned.

Stefanie Couch 2:41

Great. Okay, so we're going to talk a little bit today about a topic that you actually brought up to talk about networking. So this may be a little more conversational, and uh you're going to maybe interview me a little bit.

Ben Couch 2:52

Yeah, well, historically networking is something I've been poor at.

Stefanie Couch 2:57

And that's a label, but okay.

Ben Couch 2:59

Well, sometimes labels are true.

Stefanie Couch 3:02

Um I don't really know that that's true, but okay.

Ben Couch 3:05

So I hadn't been the best at it, but also I came from a career where it wasn't that important. Uh let's talk about that.

Stefanie Couch 3:11

So he came from law enforcement background, um, where sometimes your networking is literally going to someone's house and knocking on the door and saying we have warrants. So uh not necessarily the most hospitable way to meet people.

Ben Couch 3:29

Yeah.

Stefanie Couch 3:29

Um sometimes.

Ben Couch 3:31

But no, but that's been something you're actually very good at, and you have been your whole career. And you can walk into a room and immediately make friends, make connections, make long-term relationships that start in those networking situations. One of the things that I have found impressive too is how you network and you'll meet somebody, and I don't want to give the indication that networking is transactional. Like it's not like everybody you meet you're trying to get something out of. So I don't want it to come off of it that way. But you you'll network with people, build relationships with people, and it may be three or four years down the road, that relationship becomes beneficial, usually mutually beneficial for both people. But it's like you you cultivate this relationship over the period of two or three years, and then maybe just by how things change or what's happening, that becomes a really important relationship.

Stefanie Couch 4:29

Yes.

Approachability And Better Questions

Ben Couch 4:29

So talk to me a little bit about networking and a little bit about building relationships with people, uh, some of which may be an immediate benefit to both of you, and some may be a long-term benefit. So talk to me a little bit about that.

Stefanie Couch 4:43

Networking is an important thing for not only you as a personal thing that's going to be career development, personal development, but it also can be huge for your business, your company, even if you work for someone else. So I think you got to think about it from two sides. There are some really simple things that I think people overlook, one of which is literally eye contact and smiling at people. I smile at people a lot. I'm a southern girl. It kind of signals like, hey, I'm open. I am available to talk to. When you're shut down physically, it does not signal that you're open to approach, basically. So you want to look approachable. You want to approach people who also look approachable. There is no right or wrong as far as you said, like, hey, you can make connections with people, you can work a room. I have something that's called woo, which is a trait in Clifton Strengths that's winning others over.

Ben Couch 5:34

Do I have a woo?

Stefanie Couch 5:35

No, you do not. I think it's like your number 33, maybe out of 34. Um, but that's the thing is you have relator. So relators build very deep relationships and they don't work the room. They work maybe one or two relationships that are like lifelong, super deep, super trustworthy relationships. So there's different ways to network, and I think that's important to know. But being approachable is a huge one. Uh, being interested in other people is another huge thing that you want to do as a networker. You want to be able to ask questions. You want to be able to ask open-ended questions. So I'll give an example of that. I start a lot of my questions with tell me about because that allows people to take it where they want. So tell me about yourself. That would be an easy question. And actually, it's so funny because when you ask people that a lot of times, they're like, Well, what do you mean? Like my work, my personal, like, well, whatever you want to tell me. That's right. Because if they don't want to talk about their personal life, like let's say they have a really bad thing they're going through in their personal life, their spouse and them are getting a divorce, or you know, they're like people say, Oh, do you have kids? Well, what if that person's been trying to have kids for like three years and it's the worst part of their life that they can't get pregnant and you ask them something like that, it could turn into something you do not want to handle and they don't want to talk about. So I would say ask really open-ended questions and allow them to say the thing that they want to say. Also, follow-up questions. So when you ask someone, tell me about yourself, and they say, Well, my job is X, my wife is this, my daughter is this, my dog is this, whatever they set choose to say, then you can ask a really curious follow-up question that allows them to connect with you in a little deeper way. So I think that's really important, the question asking.

Ben Couch 7:22

Is there something going on?

Stefanie Couch 7:24

This dog.

Ben Couch 7:25

What's wrong?

Stefanie Couch 7:26

She's out of control today. Well, now we have a radish. If you are worried about her toy capacity, she gets a bark box every single month. This podcast is off the rails. And this month was the farm podcast box. So we have a tomato, she's already destroyed, an asparagus, and now the radish has entered the scene. Come here, Hattie Pearl, show everyone your radish. So for those of you who don't like dogs, you can just stop listening now because she's obviously um out of control today and not wanting us to record. If you're looking to be better at networking, I would say the number one thing you can do is just be interested in the other person because you don't really have to be that interesting and you don't have to say the right things. If you just ask about them, they're most likely going to want to talk about themselves because I think ourselves is pretty much all of our favorite subjects. Uh, remember people's names, that is a huge opportunity to really connect.

Ben Couch 8:21

I'm horrible at that. Yeah, I'll try and do that.

Stefanie Couch 8:23

If you can remember, that's one reason why I like name tags so much, especially if I can see someone's name tag on a name tag like one time. I pretty much have it for life. If you don't have that skill, there's no shame in like asking. I know everyone has that weird moment where it's like, oh my God, I think I met you before, but I don't remember your name and I don't remember where we met. Just say, like, hey, I'm so sorry. I'm really not great at remembering names. Could you please remind me of your name and where we met before?

Ben Couch 8:47

You know, there's a little insider trick I've been trying to employ that helps me remember people's names is I come up with a little rhyme about their names. Maybe a guy introduces himself and his name's John and he's wearing tan pants. Maybe he becomes Johnny Tan pants. And so it helps me to remember that because it's easier to remember that than just John.

Stefanie Couch 9:10

Yeah. No, I like that.

Ben Couch 9:11

Now, if he showed up with black pants on, it may, it may throw me off, but it gives me a fighting chance.

Stefanie Couch 9:18

Do you say, like, hey, can you wear that outfit forever and always so I know who you are?

Ben Couch 9:22

Yep. John, uh, it's nice to meet you. If you could always please wear tan pants when you're in my my company, I would appreciate it. Johnny tan pants.

Names And Easy Memory Tricks

Stefanie Couch 9:31

Oh, God. But I think those are a few tips. I I think balancing, there's a study around what makes people likable and makes people high performers, and there's a balance of warmth and natural intelligence or competence that people trust you because you're competent. They also want to approach you because you're warm. There's a lot of research around that balance. So if you're too warm and you're just too friendly and there's no competence there, you don't seem like someone that people can trust to like do the hard things. They may not want to hire you. If you're too competent and you're cold and you're just super analytical and you have no warmth, like what?

Ben Couch 10:10

You're a lizard.

Warmth Plus Competence Builds Trust

Stefanie Couch 10:11

Yeah, you're a lizard. However, if you're too, you know, competent, then you may just seem like, okay, well, that person's great, but they're not someone I want to talk to. Right. So you gotta be a balance of both. And I think these things seem like natural, natural personality traits. They are. Charisma is something that you kind of, you know, people talk about charisma or that it factor. A lot of people do naturally just have more of that. But I believe that that's something that can be trained. And I believe that someone who naturally is not a great networker can definitely learn to do that. It goes back to systems. So you asked the question about, you know, building a long-term relationship that maybe isn't leveraged. One of the questions I get asked about a lot is when to leverage a relationship? When do you actually ask for something? And I think it just depends. And it's sort of a little bit like knowing when to shift gears in a car. So if you're in first gear for too long, then the motor revs up and it might blow the motor up, you know, maybe it's going to harm things. You might want to progress that naturally when you need to, but you don't know when. So I would say you've got to read the signs and the context clues, but also from sales, I will tell you, you have to be willing to ask for the sale. So if you are in a a relationship with someone that they are a target client for you, they want to buy something from you because they have a problem that you solve. That's a really big part of this.

Ben Couch 11:30

Yeah, you got to have something good you're selling.

Stefanie Couch 11:32

That's exactly right. Your product or your service has got to really be able to solve a problem or a need that they have. Then you're, I look at it as you're actually doing them a disservice by not offering that to them if it would help them be better or have a better life or you know, reduce friction in their own business. That's how you have to look at it. So if you are not offering them that, you're actually hurting them. And when you start to think about it that way, it would be like, hey, you're on fire and I have a fire extinguisher. I'm just going to stand here because I don't want to ask you if you want something from me.

Ben Couch 12:04

So by default, do you never want to tell ask them or give them a pitch if you're networking on the first conversation? Or do you kind of play it by ear? Like if they just happen to bring up that that is a problem they have, or like how do you play that?

Stefanie Couch 12:20

Absolutely. I think that you have to just know that you don't want to be too pushy. I mean, nobody wants to be known as that pushy used car salesperson. But if someone literally comes up to you and says, Hey, I've been trying to solve this problem in my business that no one knows who I am. I'm super invisible. I need a new website, I need a new brand, I need a strategy, and I know you do that. Can you help me? I can't be like, yeah, but let's talk a few more times because I can't pitch you on the first date. Like they obviously already know, they've already done their research. That's why branding and marketing is so important. Because at the end of the day, if you are known and you're known for certain things that you want to be known for, which is reputation building, then you can go to market and walk in a room cold, but you're not really walking in cold because your branding and your marketing has already warmed that room up for you. So they know who you are, they know what you do, they know who you do it for, and they know that they want help with that. Or at least they're curious enough to ask more. And so that's something I think that people miss, especially in the building industry. I hear people say, well, we're a great operations company. We're super sales-minded. Well, if your branding and your marketing are really great and they're doing the work on the front end for that, it should make your sales team's job way easier because they don't have to pitch near as much, near as hard, near as much explanation. And then your operations team should be able to do even better because your sales team has closed because they know what you have is really great. And then your operations team just has to go in and deliver what you've already promised.

Ben Couch 13:52

For me, a lot of times the most uncomfortable part of networking is when you walk into a room like the first time, and there's a lot of people in there, maybe you know one or two, but you don't know most of them. And look most of those situations, you're not going to be able to talk to one person the whole time. Like, you know, their time is important too. Yeah. So how do you overcome that initial nervousness of when you first walk into a room, you don't really know people, you don't really have an anchor there, like who to speak to first. How do you overcome that first initial anxiety when you walk into that room?

When To Ask For Business

Stefanie Couch 14:27

I do like to have a wing woman or a winged man if possible. So you do have someone that can kind of play off of you or you can play off of them. It is always helpful to have someone also who can introduce you, you know, as hey, this is Stefanie, she does X, Y, and Z. Hey, this is Ben, he does X, Y, and Z. That's always helpful. But if you truly are in a room where you don't know anybody and you don't have anyone with you, I would find the person who looks the most uncomfortable that they're also like, oh my God, what do I do? Go find them and talk to them and make a friend with them.

Ben Couch 14:57

And then you just both sneak off into like another area where you can just chit-chat and not be like nervous about everybody else.

Stefanie Couch 15:03

You know, I think that's the thing that's different about everyone is listen, networking means something different for each person and each personality type. If you, as your slightly introverted self, I consider you honestly more than an omnivert. Um, if you don't want to go into a room- Sorry, did you say I'm an omnivore? You're an omnivort. Um, you can be an introvert or an extrovert where needed, but it just drains you instead of energizes you like me as an extrovert. But I think if you want to go in and you want to talk to one or two people, as long as those are really good conversations, that's fine. I think the positive part of that is you could make really a deeper connection with people. The negative is you might find that person who's really uncomfortable and stick with them, and they're literally never going to be a connection that you would want to connect with. Like you're never going to talk to them again, they're not in your wheelhouse, but maybe you learn something from them. So I I don't think there's a negative there. I do think there's a moment where you kind of have to learn when to cut that conversation and move to the next one because maybe they're uncomfortable.

Ben Couch 16:04

That's a good point. And that was that's actually my next question. One thing I've noticed about networking events is that common conversational niceties or etiquette don't always apply. And what I mean by that is in a normal situation, if me and you are in a room having a conversation, most people aren't going to walk up and like interrupt that conversation, right? But at some of these networking events, especially if there's a person or two that's like the star of the show, like it's their event, it is not uncommon for you to be in the middle of a conversation, somebody come interrupt and kind of pull them off to the side. Is that just like a normal thing with these things?

Stefanie Couch 16:39

Uh yeah, I kind of have an opinion about that. Like, especially if it's the host of the event, you should expect that people are going to get dragged away. Like if someone has a celebrity factor or if they like everybody wants to talk to them, their company is the hot commodity, then you can kind of expect that. The other thing I'd say is like leave your circle open because for some people, networking is super uncomfortable. They're already really out of their comfort zone, even being there. They're not sure if anybody wants to talk to them, they're not sure what to say. So I would say leave an open, I always call it like an open semicircle, so a C, so that someone can come in. Because if you're physically closed in, it shows like this is not open conversation. Yeah. If you are having like a really deep conversation, the place probably to have like a super deep private conversation is not a networking event. Right. So maybe take that somewhere else once the event's over, go to you know, a bar, have a drink with that person, whatever, or have a follow-up conversation. But if you're truly at a networking event where there's a lot of people there trying to have shallow conversations that could lead to something else later, keep it open. And then I would just say, this is just me. I'm from the South and I believe this truly. Like, please try to make people feel included if you can. The moments where there's a networking event and you maybe you treat someone a little way that's like not as welcoming, that is that closed circle. Maybe that was like their one moment that night that they were like, okay, I'm about to go up to bed and I'm going to talk to him, and I'm so nervous and I don't know what to say, and I feel stupid and I think I look stupid.

Ben Couch 18:12

Please don't feel that way if you're talking to me.

Walking In Nervous And Finding An Anchor

Stefanie Couch 18:15

But maybe that's their only moment that night that they were going to be brave. And then if you treat them like crap when they show up to that conversation or just don't engage with them, like that's what they remember about you. I would just say for me, and I am not perfect, so like somebody's going to be like, Well, that bitch didn't do that when I tried to talk to her. Listen, I get tired. I talk to a lot of people at these events, like sometimes on day six, I've had like five million conversations and recorded 78.

Ben Couch 18:42

Four hours of sleep for the week.

Stefanie Couch 18:43

Yeah, four four hours of sleep and 78 podcasts later. And I might have been getting an IV in the hotel room that morning before I went there. But I try my best to see people, and I want you to try your best to see people and just engage with them. And you might walk away thinking, like, I'm never talking to that person again. Like they have, I don't even like that person, and that's fine. But just be there in the moment with people and ask them questions about themselves because who knows? Like that person might be in overalls and they might be your next business person that gives you money for your business that is a billionaire. Like it might be Warren Buffett, and you don't know. It could be a connection that could last for a lifetime. And if you close the door because you were looking for that other shiny thing, it might not be the right move.

Ben Couch 19:27

If you're wearing overalls at a networking event, you're probably going to be the first person I approach. I'll probably buy you a beer and be like, You are my crowd, buddy. Come sit. We'll have we'll leave the circle open. But me and you are going to vibe. Um, we typically throw up a mid-episode little clip. But if you are listening to this, if you enjoy what you're hearing and you like the podcast, please subscribe, like it. Yes, whatever you do on YouTube, follow it. Yeah, give it a thumbs up. Uh especially subscribe. It really helps us and it'll help you see the content when we put it out. And of course, if you know of anybody that isn't listening or you think would enjoy it, shoot this episode over to them and give them, let them get some networking, some networking advice too, because it isn't a competition, or you may feel differently, but everybody we want we want the circle open.

Stefanie Couch 20:11

Everything's a competition.

Ben Couch 20:12

We want the circle open. We want people to be comfortable when they're networking, and for a long time I wasn't. Let me ask you another question. Uh uh I've noticed at some of these events there happens to frequently be a person that uh gets someone's ear and talks for a long time, and you see the face of the recipient is like, oh my god, someone please hit me in the head with a hammer to get me out of this situation. How do you make sure you're not that person? And when you're in these events, you put your best self forward, you get your point across, you meet new people, but you don't become that person in the room where people are like, if anyone can drag me away from this, please do so. I'll pay you a lot of money.

Managing Interruptions And Leaving Circles Open

Stefanie Couch 21:14

I think body cues and context cues are really important in conversation. And I believe that a lot of people are wildly uncomfortable in those types of scenarios. So what happens is they find someone and they're like they're latched onto that conversation and they're like, well, shit, I've already had I've already broken the ice now. I'm having this conversation. I don't want to go do it somewhere else because it'll be uncomfortable again. So they just stay there.

Ben Couch 21:41

You are now my person for the remainder of the evening.

Stefanie Couch 21:44

So they just latch on to that. I think it's the same reason if you think about like psychologically, why do people stay in relationships that they know they want to get out of that are not good for them? It's the same type of thing as that. It's just human nature of like, I know what I've got here and I don't want to be uncomfortable to go do something else that may or may not be better. But from your experience of like, hey, I need to get out of this conversation, you need to, as the person being talked to, know how to politely move to stage right or stage left. Um, that would be something I would say learn how to do.

Ben Couch 22:17

Have you met Johnny Tam pants. Right this way. Y'all have so much in common.

Escaping Long Conversations Politely

Stefanie Couch 22:22

And I'm Johnny Tan pants, and you're going to end it off so much. Um, that's a good way to do it. The other way to do it would be like, you know, excusing yourself to go to the restroom, find a natural break in the conversation, or just say something like, Hey, it's been so great getting to know you. I wish you all the best, you know, and then just and close the conversation down. You can definitely do that in a polite way. You don't need to be rude to people, but listen, you're there for a reason as well. Time is money, and money is uh going to come from networking relationships a lot of times, or time is valuable more when you're networking in certain rooms. And especially if you're talking to someone who has a lot of people that want to talk to them. One of the pieces of advice I would give is have a plan before you walk up to that person. So have something that you're going to say to them. Try to connect with them on something that you have in common with them or that you know they care about. And then from there, you want to compliment them. So I would probably lead with the compliment. So But genuine compliments, genuine compliments only. Like please do not give compliments you don't mean. You know, walk up to someone and say, Hey, I'm Stefanie, nice to meet you. I'm Ben. Ben, I love your boots. Those are really cool. Where'd you get them? Something like that. Um, it doesn't have to be super deep, it can be a surface level compliment about how what they're wearing, what you know, just something around them. And then from there, you start to figure out do you have commonalities? If you have something that you want from that conversation, like maybe it is somebody that you know is a target client of yours, maybe you've met them before, maybe you have something to talk to them, have a plan. And then once you execute that plan, you say the thing you're going to say, you ask the question you're going to ask. If they don't reciprocate in the way that you hopefully would want them to, you need to be looking at their body language. So I I cannot, Ben is actually an expert of this. He underplays his Ben's actually a trained interviewer and interrogator from his background in the law enforcement. So you do this really well. You read micro expressions. So their faces and their body will tell you everything you need to know. So if someone is looking another way and not making eye contact with you, they're either distracted or they just flat out don't want to be in that conversation. And I'm of the mind that I don't like to chase. So I will engage with someone. And if I can tell that they don't give a crap about anything I'm saying or their mind somewhere else, or they don't like me, or whatever it is, like I'm going to find a way to get out of that conversation as quick as possible. I am not going to try to win them over to get something from them. Like it may just be the moment, like it might not be the right moment to have that conversation. Maybe something crazy just happened before they just walked in the door. I think another piece of advice I would give people, and this is just a general piece of advice, not about networking, is we always think number one, the worst. Number two, it's all about us. And I say that in a way, like not conceitedly, like, oh my God, I said something wrong. They don't like me. They don't, it may have nothing to do with you. So I still struggle with this, and I've been doing business a long time and talking to a lot of people for years and years. And I'm what I would consider a very confident person. I still consider it's like, oh my God, I said the wrong thing. I did the wrong thing. I was wearing the wrong thing. I I went too hard, I went too soft. Up whatever it is, you know. That's just human nature. That's right. But you've got to be able to read some of that context clues. If people's bodies are disengaged, their mind is disengaged. If they're like keyed in on you, they're looking at you, they're talking to you, the conversation's going good, keep it going. The minute you start to sense that they want out of that conversation, you be the one to disengage.

Ben Couch 25:56

They'll appreciate it.

Plans Compliments And Reading Body Language

Stefanie Couch 25:57

That's exactly right. And so just say, like, it was so nice talking to you, shake their hand, firmly shake their hand. That's oh my god, that's my networking tip. Please don't lip noodle hand. If you're a woman specifically, I need you to hear me say this. Practice your handshakes. Do not give me some little dainty limp noodle hand. No, confidently shake people's hand. You don't have to break their hand when you shake their hand. And for the people listening that do have a really firm grip, please don't break my hand. I have rings on, but I want a real handshake. And one of the things that I like to do is I will look at the person grip to grip here, and I'll look at them and put my other hand over and say, it's so nice to meet you. I'm looking at them while shaking their hand, because a lot of people will actually shake hands and then look down at the hands. I think it's really important to have that first moment. When you walk up to someone and they're introducing themselves to you, you're introducing yourselves if it's a first meeting. Even if it's something that you've met them a hundred times, thank you, you know, for meeting with me today. It's so nice to meet you if it's a first meeting, or it's so nice to meet you. And then you're shaking that hand, you're making direct eye contact, you're confidently showing them that you're in the room. And body posture and the way that you show up, especially for women. I cannot understand how important this is. The tone of your voice when you say it, you need to know your name confidently. Hi, I'm Stefanie Couch. Inflection tone at the end was a question there. I'm Stefanie Couch. Nice to meet you. So nice to see you, whatever you're going to say. And that handshake is the start of that. So be sure you do that. And then at the end, another handshake, eye contact again. It was so nice to speak with you tonight. Hope to see you again soon. If it's something where they are a target customer, you had a great conversation and you think you want to take it to a next level, get some sort of contact information. Make sure that you have a way to actually follow up with them. I'd love to connect with you next week. Could we have coffee if you're in person, or could we have a conversation? I'd love to connect on LinkedIn. LinkedIn is a little bit easier, like a softer, not first date, but maybe we're going to have another conversation type business connotation. So it's not too pushy. And if they're not interested, then they just connect with you and don't respond to the LinkedIn message or whatever. Maybe they're super busy and they just don't have time. It's a way for you to stay connected without it being too forward. But I would always try to get a name, full name, and an email address, um, exchange contacts if you're really serious about it, you know, where you can actually follow up. And then networking tip that's like the one I feel people miss that should be the most obvious is if they are someone who you actually want to stay connected with, do not wait for them to connect with you. You proactively connect with them on LinkedIn, you proactively email them, you proactively write them a handwritten note. Do not wait on we should have lunch sometime. That will never happen. And if they're really busy and they're especially running a larger company, do not expect them to do it. They're not. And maybe they want to and they just don't have time or they don't think about it. Maybe they don't even remember your name. They're like, man, that really interesting person wearing the pink hat, but they have no idea what my name was because they met a thousand people that night. You gotta be the one to initiate, don't wait for someone else.

Ben Couch 29:18

Well, when you say the obvious thing, there's something that comes to mind for me that I feel like is an obvious thing and people may not pay attention to it. That's this, right? Because even like I'm not a pro networker and I don't I haven't done it, I don't have the near the experience that you do. But one thing I see routinely is how often people bring out cell phones. And conversely, what I see is some of the people when I see them like really doing a good job of networking, and it seems to be going really well for them, they don't. Yeah, and we actually I actually saw something, I think you may have sent it to me on uh Diary of a CEO. Uh Steven had someone on there and he was talking about it. But basically, like the minute this comes up when we're in a conversation, your brain immediately says that person no longer is engaged, and it's true, like you're not. So, I mean, I think my advice is if you don't have to, don't check your phone at all. Yeah, maybe excuse yourself when you're ready to like transition people in an event and go check it in that. But one thing I've done too, where like there are situations like where a lot of us are business owners or in business, and like there may be something important, like actually important going on that you need to address. And so one thing I've found is one, wait till a natural pause in the conversation, but also when you do bring your phone out, like tell them why. Like, if it is like if you're waiting on something important, be like, um, Steph, excuse me. Like, I hate to bring my phone out when we're talking because I'm really enjoying this conversation. I have an employee that's like having a baby, and I just want to check and check it. And look, it doesn't, it may not help, but at least you're telling them, like, I'm not checking the score of the Braves game. Like, yeah, there's something else going on. But if at all, you just avoid it. And especially not just networking events, but at dinners and all that.

Stefanie Couch 31:01

Like, even having it on the table, I think it just kills the vibe. Yeah, it's just a distraction, and it's it's distracting to you, and I say you by like you including myself, in a way that we don't really realize because I think we touch our phones so much unconsciously.

Ben Couch 31:17

It's become a nervous tick for a lot of people. And if you're already nervous at a networking event, you're more apt to do that to as a tick.

Handshakes Eye Contact And Confident Introductions

Stefanie Couch 31:24

One of the reasons why I like physical business cards so much is number one reason it gives you something physical that people have that's from you. Now, maybe they go throw it away in the hotel room, but whatever. They have your business card. Number two, it gives a way for you to put your name on a thing. I highly encourage you to design a business card that's something that aesthetically stands out. Our business cards are blue, they have some foil on it, so they're there's um like shiny, either gold or silver. And then it has some pink and it has my picture on it, has our teammates' pictures on it when they have a business card. So if you have a piece of paper, maybe I didn't remember that Johnny Tan Pants was Johnny Tan Pants, and I was like, man, I really like that guy with the tan pants. He was really awesome. And I know he said he worked for this place that I really would like to have a connection, and I just can't remember his name. Hey, that happens to all of us. If you have his business card in your hand with his picture on it, you can say, Oh my God, Johnny Tan Pants was Johnny Bainbridge from this lumberyard. And here's his email, and I'm going to send him a handwritten thank you card when I get home. Now you have a connection point. So if you think virtual cards are the way, I don't disagree that they are nice to have. I have a virtual business card, but I 100% think you should have physical printed business cards that stand out. Don't make them white, don't make them look like everybody else. And listen, if your business card is a corporate card where it looks like every other corporate card I've ever seen, which is super boring, I know you can't really do anything about that. So I would recommend having something else that you give with that, something really small. Maybe it's a sticker you put on it. I don't just somehow stand out because you're boring and no one is going to remember who you are because your business card looks exactly like the other thousands of business cards in my stack, right on there, the conversation you had with that person. If they have a business card they hand you, like, hey, this is Ben from Grit Blueprint. He does X, Y, and Z, had a good conversation with about his dog Heidi Pearl. So the next time I see Ben, I'm like, how's Hattie Pearl doing? Oh my God. If you meet Ben and you ask him about Hattie Pearl, it's no longer awkward for him because now he can talk about the thing that he cares about the most in this world. And me as in as his wife can say that clearly because it's true. And he nods in in acceptance of that. That there you go. There's a connection point that you know you have in common and you can talk about.

Ben Couch 33:54

Oh, and you treat your electronic business card almost as like a backup, like if you run out or you're somewhere and you don't have your bag or your card with you. Yeah. Um, many folks may not know this, but part of my responsibility in the business is I am the carrier of business cards when we're in events, so I tend to have more pockets. Very serious. I end up with Stefanie's cell phone and Stefanie's business cards, which actually works well because then she doesn't have her phone, so she can't check it. And I can check it because I'm usually not near as engaged as Stefanie is. And so if you do have a wing man or woman, um, give them your phone.

Stefanie Couch 34:26

Marion helps with that too.

Ben Couch 34:28

Yeah, let them let them check it for you if you're waiting on something important or to keep things going.

Follow-Up Systems LinkedIn And Notes

Stefanie Couch 34:31

It's a necessity to have pockets, and a lot of times I intentionally wear things with no pockets, so I don't have to carry my business cards, and then can do that for me. Um, it's very helpful. And so marry the person that you want to work with every day, and that will help you with these tasks in life that you don't you need help with.

Ben Couch 34:49

So earlier you were talking about talking to people about themselves, and that people are typically more comfortable talking about themselves. I try to always do that, but like we were in an event uh a couple weeks ago, and they were kind of doing the same thing. So they were asking me a lot about myself. And so I felt like at the end of the conversation, I didn't really ask them any questions, they asked me. But like I guess that's okay, right? Because like we were still talking and having a good time.

Stefanie Couch 35:15

Yeah, I think it just depends on like what the purpose of the networking event is. Obviously, if it's somebody that you're like, hey, I really want to get to know this person for a reason that, you know, is a business reason or a personal reason, maybe you try to squeeze in more. But I think you could also name that. So you mentioned earlier just saying, like, hey, I'm going to look at my phone because my employee's having a baby, something like that. Um, I think it's the same thing with networking. Like, hey, we talked a lot about me, enough about me. Tell me about you. Flip the switch on them a little bit. Again, leave it open-ended. They might be asking you a lot of questions about yourself because they listen to a podcast like this, or they're a really good networker and they know that's the trick. But there is a certain balance, I believe, in relationship building that you do want to have kind of a table tennis type back and forth.

Ben Couch 35:59

A little banter.

Stefanie Couch 36:00

A little banter, they might say. And so at the end of the day, if you can just say, like, hey, enough about me, tell me about you. Tell me about you know, your work or tell me, tell me what you did for vacation this summer, whatever. Just open the question and let them see where they go. Now they may wrap it right back to you. And if they just absolutely are that person, then cool. Like at the end, say, Hey, I really enjoyed chatting with you. I feel like we talked a little bit more about me than you. I'd love to have another conversation so you could tell me about you and your business. And then that might open you up to having another conversation with them because there's unfinished conversations to have.

Ben Couch 36:36

What about like what you wear? And we could probably do a whole episode just on that, but like networking events, like how do you dress? Do you because a lot of times you don't know, and that's actually probably a broader point is a lot of times you don't know kind of the the dress code or the behavior or the or how events are structured before you go if you don't have a whole lot of time beforehand. Like, is it an open bar? Do we pay for drinks? What do we wear? What how many people are going to be here? That kind of thing.

Stefanie Couch 37:05

I try to find out as much information as I can about the event beforehand. So ask a few questions like to event organizer. Number one, because you want to see is this even a place that I want to spend my time going?

Ben Couch 37:15

Yeah.

Stefanie Couch 37:16

I mean, look, we all have limited resources, we have limited time, especially when you're at uh events and you're there for like three days and you have to try to sometimes we're squeezing in like drinks, dinner, dessert conversationslash cocktail conversation. You might have four things that night. You can't waste time. So, number one, ask questions about the event to figure out is this somewhere I even need to go? Do I want to be in this room? And then secondarily, once you've qualified that yes, that is in fact a place you want to go, you have a little more detail around it. But like I said before, you know, I have an opinion about this is pretty strong. I think you should try to stand out, just like with your business card. Now, does that mean you need to wear bright pink and yellow? Probably yes. No, but that's a good that's not what if it's not your vibe. I use the word vibe because I'm a millennial. But for those of you who have a personal style that maybe is a little more traditional, that's fine. There needs to be something about you that's memorable. I talk about being unmistakable. It might be something in your conversation, it might be something that you're wearing, it might, but you've got to do something to not look like the other thousand people that are in that room so that people remember you. Maybe it's that handshake that's super confident, that eye contact. Most likely it's the conversation you have with them about them that they're going to remember. Because I'm telling you, that is the secret to life is how do you connect with people in a way that they feel like they are special because of what you did with them and for them. But it cannot just be like, oh, I'm just doing this to get something out of them. You have to genuinely connect with other other humans.

Ben Couch 38:53

You spoke about standing out, and something actually happened recently where we were at a networking event and we met this guy. He worked for a company, I think it was called eCloth. And looking at him in the room, it he didn't necessarily stand out.

Stefanie Couch 39:07

But he was wearing a color that was different.

Phones At Events And Staying Present

Ben Couch 39:09

Yeah, it was like tillish color, like till green light mint green type color. When we started talking to him, his jacket, his sport jacket, was actually did very did stand out because it was actually made of the cloth that his company sold. And his mother, I think, actually made the jacket for him. And so like once he tells that story and he's close enough and you see the texture, like, no shit, that is made out of the cloth you're selling, and then he he becomes you know memorable because of that. And it's marketing for the company.

Stefanie Couch 39:39

That's right. And again, you don't have to do something that's like totally crazy if that's just really not who you are. But what I would ask you is, is it not who you are, or is it who you're scared to actually be? Because there are a lot of people that now have started wearing pink and different colors to my interviews or my on stage appearances with me because I wear it, and they are like, I had this in my closet already.

Ben Couch 40:02

Yeah.

Business Cards That People Keep

Stefanie Couch 40:02

Well, you already had it in your closet for a reason. Maybe it's because your wife or husband bought it or whatever for an event. But at the end of the day, like you had that pink jacket. Cool that you were brave enough to wear it on stage. You might get a little bit of a rib from your friends, but especially for a man, I would say you're still going to stand out. Yeah. And so from what to wear in a networking event, my advice would be this always overdress. You always want to be dressed better than the other people in the room if you can. You want to stand out in some way, you want to be memorable, but never show up underdressed. That is like my worst nightmare. Um, I always want to have a great outfit. I obviously think a lot about that. That's something that is a part of my brand, but that is very intentional. And I've been doing that since I was in high school. This didn't start when I started being Stefanie Couch's speaker. It started when I was in high school. I would wear suits, business suits, and high heels to school when I was in high school. And I, because I wanted to be that confident person, and I felt like the clothes I was wearing could help me get a real first head start on being confident. Even if I felt overweight, even if I didn't feel great that day, my outfit was still on par and I could show up the way I wanted to show up. So I think you should do that in a networking event for sure. Wear clothes that make you feel great about yourself, be a little bit different than everybody else, and stand out in a good way, and it'll help you in your networking.

Ben Couch 41:25

No, I totally agree. And personally, in law enforcement, I wore a uniform pretty much the whole time except except a small portion when I was working in narcotics. But so that was a done deal. I didn't have to think about it. And then when we started our business, most of my work was on in the background, or we go meet with clients and I was shooting media. And so my wardrobe devolved into basically jeans and like a t-shirt and a hoodie, which was fine. All black, all black, which was fine for a while. But as I've started going to more shows and I've started going to more client stuff and all, I've started to make an effort to dress better, and I've found that it does make you feel more confident because if you walk into a room and you are the worst or the most underdressed person in the room, you feel that. And if you're already nervous about walking into that room, it just it it just makes the nervousness worse. Yeah. And so if you do dress, you like you may not you may feel like you need to be the best dress, even if you don't are the best, if you're just dressed well and you match the people that are in the room, it can give you a little bit of a confidence boost to where when you walk in there, you're not near as anxious about being there.

Stefanie Couch 42:30

I would also say that if you can just pick one thing that is kind of going to be your thing. So obviously for me, I wear a lot of hats. They're mostly pink hats. I wear a lot of bright colors. The reason I wear bright colors is I like them, but also they're in my color palette. So I did something called color matching. I'm uh a true spring.

Ben Couch 42:49

True spring.

Stefanie Couch 42:50

It's true spring, and uh these certain colors are in my color palette. So that's why I wear a lot of these pastels and bright colors that kind of make me look like an Easter egg all year long. And so some of my friends that are from like New York, my friend Gina, who's from DC, is like, I don't know how you wear those colors all year long. It's like, well, these are my colors, and I look terrible in black, like a washed up, you know, person who shouldn't ever wear black again. And so I don't wear it anymore. Um, but you as a person can pick a signature. So maybe you wear a scarf that has a little color, or maybe you wear a certain type of shoes, you know, maybe you have a certain signature glasses look that you wear. Even for men and women, just pick one thing, maybe a color, a type of shirt. Maybe you always wear a sport jacket. Maybe your sport jackets are a little fun, maybe they're a little colorful, or the pattern. Maybe the pattern is just different, you know, it's just not the same thing everybody sees. It doesn't have to be something insane that like costs a million dollars. It could be a pocket square, it could be um a brooch, you know, or a piece of jewelry. There's a million ways to do it. You can do it with color, you can do it with style, you can do it with a statement piece, but you gotta have something that is your thing because people will start to identify you as that, and then you know, that makes you more recognizable. I do want to bring something up because I thought about this the other day. I saw this online. There was a Super Bowl commercial with Guy Pieri, and he's obviously, I'm sure when you heard me say that name, what comes to Come on, Ben.

Ben Couch 44:19

Uh, him in a convertible. I think he had a Camaro. Yeah. And like red, right? Probably. I think it and like flames and bleach hair and sunglasses. And sunglasses, like Oakley sunglasses. Backward on his head, so no one sneaks up on him.

Stefanie Couch 44:35

Yeah, he he wore, I think, leather jackets a lot.

Ben Couch 44:38

Um, this is like a diner's drive-ins and dives, Guy Fury, but very um explosive character.

Stefanie Couch 44:45

Yeah, and very loud, um, kind of that grumbly, gruff voice.

Ben Couch 44:49

I like him. I watched his show, he was a cool guy.

Stefanie Couch 44:51

So you know what Guy Fury looks like. 100%.

Ben Couch 44:54

If you walked in the door, I would know Guy Fury.

How To Stand Out With Style

Stefanie Couch 44:56

Physically aesthetic look, right? But they made him into just a normal dude on this Super Bowl commercial with AI, and he literally looks like every other guy, like not standout in any ways just wearing like khaki pants and a button-down polo or something. He has brown hair. And it just shows you that him as the character, Guy Fierry's look is such a big part of what you know and recognize about him. So I would just say to you, from a perspective of your personal brand and your networking personally, and from your companies, is what are you doing to stand out? It doesn't have to be something that is completely insane that doesn't hold true to your values or who you are as a company, but you've got to have something that you're known for. And you have to have something that people can really trust that you're going to show up as that. He is a great example of that look, but I think there are a lot of other people that you could recognize as that too. So thinking about that, you know, I always think about um when I was growing up, Magnum P.I. was a show that I watched with Tom Selleck. He has that great mustache, and those are short, short, he drove a red Ferrari. So I think about Magnum P.I. and Tom Selleck. If he shaved that mustache, like number one, women everywhere would just freak out. But secondly, like he wouldn't really be Tom Sellick anymore. And so there are certain hallmarks or characters that you think about, and I think you should have that too as a person.

Ben Couch 46:17

I feel like you have to take care in that though, because if you are, I mean, is there a way to like explore that? Because what I wouldn't want somebody to do, or what I wouldn't want to do, is say, like, I'm going to try wearing a fedora, and then I go out to two events and I'm like, I hate fedoras, but now I'm the fedora guy. What am I going to do?

Stefanie Couch 46:37

And anytime you can change your brand, I mean, that's the thing is like brands and people, we change, we morph, you know, we we don't one time in an event, if you're relatively unknown, is not it's not going to do you in. It's you know, if you spent 10 years building a brand around a fedora, then that might be a problem. Like it would be a problem for wearing a fedora. Yeah, I'm going to be wearing one for the rest of my life if I don't decide to change my brand. But I really liked them naturally. So one thing that I would say about that is yes, pick something that's a statement piece, but pick something you do actually like because then if it becomes your statement piece or your thing you're known for, you don't hate it. Now, what happens in 20 years if I hate wearing pink hats? I guess I can make a decision then if I want to wear them or not. But I really love hats and now I kind of feel weird with that one on. I already loved them before this became my thing. That's why I wear them because I already had them in my closet. And so I think it's about figuring out what are you already basically attracted to and magnetized to, and then making that your thing. So if you happen to like all gray, white, and black, and you're very um simple in your dress, you can still do it by being the person that you know wears a certain thing that way. You maybe it's a print, maybe it's a type of white and black.

Ben Couch 47:51

Maybe try a monocle.

Stefanie Couch 47:52

Yeah, a monocle. Your ideas are so out there. You would be unforgettable. I know I do without you.

Ben Couch 47:59

You would be unforgettable. If you walked into a networking event, I guarantee you would probably be the only one with a monocle, and people would not soon forget you.

Stefanie Couch 48:08

You would be I think about Maddie Monocle. Something like a pocket watch, or like maybe it is watches. Like there are a lot of men that collect really nice watches. A lot of men wear like a bigger watch. I think that those are certain things that's like just a small signature that it makes you feel confident, it kind of makes you stand out. Again, it doesn't have to be something really crazy. For women, I think you have a little bit more to play with than men. So sorry for the men out there.

Ben Couch 48:32

I was going to say, I feel like it's easier for women to have a little bit more space in that customization.

Stefanie Couch 48:38

Even if it's like polo shirts that you're wearing, a certain look on a polo shirt, a certain color, um, a certain type of print, like you can be known for something that is a certain hey, this guy always wears cool golf shirts, you know, that are just a little different than everybody else.

Ben Couch 48:53

Well, Stefanie, I think you have uh thoroughly covered networking.

Stefanie Couch 48:57

Thank you.

Signature Look Personal Brand Examples

Ben Couch 48:57

And hopefully everyone out here watching has gained something from the conversation that they can put into practice on their next next networking event. Uh like we said at the opening of the show, we're going to hopefully do more of these this year where we're more tactical about specific things. Uh so if you uh enjoyed this show, obviously please subscribe, like it, let us know. And also drop us a what do the kids say nowadays? A DM. Drop us a DM.

Stefanie Couch 49:26

Oh a DM on LinkedIn.

Ben Couch 49:29

On LinkedIn. Let us know uh if there's anything else uh that you would like us to explore and talk about. Yeah. Uh between me and Stefanie, we have a lot of knowledge about this kind of stuff and we like to talk about it. Yeah. So I think that kind of wraps this episode, Stefanie. If you want to send us home.

Stefanie Couch 49:44

Well, thank you for joining us on this episode of the Grit Blueprint, where we handled all of our favorite questions about networking, and we hope that you will take away a little bit today to network better in your future so that you can be unmistakable. We will see you on the next episode. Thank you for listening to the Grit Blueprint podcast. If this episode helped you think a little differently about how to show up, share it with someone in your building world who needs it. If you're ready to turn visibility into growth, then head to gritblueprint.com to learn more and book a call to talk to us about your growth strategy. Until next time, stay unmistakable.