Healing Autoimmune, Money Wounds & Midlife Purpose: Kristen Renee on the 12-Element Framework l EP41

What if the chronic pain, exhaustion, and stuckness you're feeling isn't just physical — and the solution isn't another diet, supplement, or protocol?

In this episode, Odilia sits down with author, speaker, and transformational coach Kristen Renee to explore the radical idea that lasting healing — physical, emotional, and financial — requires us to address the whole person. After a decade of autoimmune disease and a financial crisis in her forties, Kristen developed a 12-principle framework that bridges the spiritual with the practical, helping busy midlife women create real, lasting change without overhauling their entire lives overnight.

This conversation is for you if you've tried everything and still feel like something is missing.

IN THIS EPISODE WE COVER:

•       Why you can't manifest or find your purpose when you're living in survival mode

•       The overnight healing events that proved the mind-body connection is real

•       How suppressed emotions and trauma show up as physical symptoms in the body

•       The masculine/feminine energy imbalance driving burnout in midlife women

•       How to start a body scan practice even when you've never felt connected to your body

•       Why healing your environment — including your home and your food — matters

•       The 12-week framework that gently folds healing into your real, busy life

•       Finding your purpose in midlife and the 'pre-purpose steps' that make it possible

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

•       Kristen's book: The Elements of Healing — available on Amazon (author name: Kristen Renee)

•       Upcoming book: Healing the Money Wound

•       Louise Hay — You Can Heal Your Life

•       Gabor Maté — on trauma and autoimmune disease in women

CONNECT WITH KRISTEN:

•       Website: www.kristenreneehealing.com

•       Instagram : @kristenreneehealing

•       Facebook : https://www.facebook.com/KRISTENRENEEREBUILDING?locale=en_GB

•       TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@kristenreneerebuilding

•       YouTube: @kristenreneerebuilds

•       LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/kristen-appleby

•       Amazon Author Page: Search 'Kristen Renee' on Amazon

midlife healing, autoimmune healing, mind-body connection, trauma healing, women's health midlife, burnout recovery, healing framework, Kristen Renee, The Elements of Healing, midlife awakening, feminine energy, purpose in midlife, somatic healing, nervous system regulation, emotional healing

Transcript

The Midlife Awakening (00:00)
Back to the Midlife Awakening Podcast with Odelia, the show where we get real, go deep, and rediscover who we truly are on the other side of life's biggest plot twist, midlife. Now I'm your host Odelia and I'm so glad that you're here listening today. Now, today's guest is someone I genuinely could not wait to talk to because I've read her book before the conversation that we're about to have, and honestly, I'm going to be doing the 12 weeks myself. Now, Kristen Renee is an author.

speaker and transformational coach who spent years as a high powered corporate strategist

Working with top-level CEOs, leading HR and operation teams, and even stepping into the world of celebrity styling at some point. Now, from the outside, she had it all, but inside, like most of us, she was running on empty, living in a constant state of hustle, suppressed trauma and people pleasing. Right up until her body said enough. In her mid-30s, she received an autoimmune diagnosis that sparked a decade-long health crisis.

Then in her 40s, a financial crisis forced her to confront everything she hadn't yet healed. And it was through navigating both of these fires that she developed her 12th principle framework: a practical, grounded roadmap to rebuilding your health, your mindset, and your wealth from the inside out. In this conversation, we talk about the overnight healing events that convinced her the mind-body connection is real, why you literally cannot manifest from survival mode, and

The feminine and masculine energy imbalance so many of us are carrying to how to start listening to your body when you have never been taught to do so. And so much more.

This conversation is such a rich conversation around healing. Now her book is called The Elements of Healing and I cannot recommend it enough. It is practical, it is gentle, and it meets you exactly where you are. So let's dive in.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (02:05)
Welcome to the Midlife Awakening podcast. I'm your host, Odilia. This is a podcast about transformation for women who are waking up to who they really are while navigating everything that comes with midlife. And I want you to know I'm on this journey right alongside you.

This is the show where we explore everything from the spiritual tools that can help us in our daily practices to healing modalities that we can use to heal what we've been carrying for so long to the everyday midlife topics that a midlife woman faces like perimenopause, finances, career changes, and so much more. Each week we go deeper into what it means to heal, to awaken, and to finally become the most authentic version of yourself. I'm so glad that you found your way here.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (02:54)
hi, Kristen. So great to have you on the show. Welcome to the Midlife Awakening. one of the opening lines in your book that really struck me was unraveling the past and rebuilding the present. What did that look like for you personally?

Kristen Renee Appleby (03:11)
and rebuilding, it was honestly how I healed. Really the aha moment was learning that everything's connected. And maybe that sounds like, duh, Christy, but at the time it did not, I didn't get it. And so really understanding that.

Trauma I never accepted happened. I always just second-guessed it that I never really expressed or felt. Running around in complete hustle, never slowing down, how that, you know, added up and added up. The realization that I lived my whole life in fear, survival, and fight or flight.

And, you know, only my close friends probably would have noticed because I kept a pretty good facade and was working, you know, in the corporate world. So kind of connecting the dots and then seeing, okay, now I need to face it, learn it.

unravel it. don't want to live in fear, survival, fight or flight, hustle, running myself just on complete fumes. And I want to live. I want to see the other side. I want to, I knew I needed to learn how to trust and find safety and connection and learning to not live disconnected from my, you know, I was detached. Like that's how I live my life. So I basically had to reteach myself. I don't want to make it

sound that dramatic. I had to just learn gradually new ways of being and that, you know, let me try being in the feminine and slowing down and allowing and receiving and seeing what flows naturally to me rather than the old Christy was just let me make it happen and go and do it us and hustle and really just

It's that survival mentality and I need to do it all and I need it. I'm the only one and you know, and then I, I basically was all I had autoimmune and I also had a naturopath and I was trying everything say.

the two test results were your stress levels were literally off the charts, like gone, and your testosterone was at zero. And I didn't even know we had testosterone at that point, but he was like, I don't know if it can come back. So I saw with a real test that I had literally run myself into the ground. so it was just rebuilding. And that's how I created the framework was

doing so many things differently in my life, kind of all at once, but I realized it's a better way to kind of live and address life. And it's so much more fun to live in trust and allowing and safety and connection rather than the latter. So it truly was, you know, a rebuilding.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (06:04)
Absolutely. And we'll circle back to the masculine feminine energy because I think that's really important for us as women in today's society. One thing I really loved about your book is that it's really coming from a different angle because most books on self-help and healing have all these concepts and these, you know, these concepts that you have to embrace, but yours is coming from a practical perspective like

giving you breaking it down into a 12 week program. like practically this is what you should be doing this week and this week and this week. And I really love that. So what inspired you? What made you realize that that was very much needed within the self-help space compared to what is out there?

Kristen Renee Appleby (06:33)
Mm-hmm.

appreciate you saying that because I think it's a couple things but mostly...

I wasn't finding what I needed. Well, one, like I said, I didn't know how it was all connected. Now I know there's a lot of things out there saying that, but I didn't know at the time. But two, I would hear people say, this is how you manifest. Or, you just need to be in your heart. Or, envision this. And that's when I was realizing like, doesn't work for me because I also learned you can't manifest when you're in survival because a lot of it comes from being in your heart. So if you're completely in your head,

and unable to be in your heart like me, you can't. You have to first practice being in your heart. Okay, so how do you, what are the steps to really do that? Like I'm a person that likes homework and I want like, I hear your theories, but how do I get there? So I like.

I'm kind of like the staircase to get there and you know, okay, what is spirituality really? Well, here's the staircase. It's a lot about trust and safety and connection and believing things are going to work out or believing the timing. It's like, you know, here's the steps to get to these really great concepts that are accurate.

for people that had like deep limiting beliefs like myself or just conditioned to live in survival of fear. And I hate to, I know I'm making it sound dramatic, but I didn't even know I had that. So I guess I'm also trying to make sure I ground the language enough to like, it could be just.

a life of living in rush and you don't know that you're only living in the rush. Like I didn't, I thought meditation at the time was a complete waste of time. If it wasn't improving my physical appearance, waste of time. I didn't get it. And that was also like such a telltale sign that I was only worried about what other people thought of me, not what was going on in here. I couldn't care less. I was like, let's just make sure everything looks perfect. And

Perfect ran me into the ground. I mean, I think I'm gonna do an article about it because being perfect got me perfectly sick. So I embrace imperfection now, absolutely. I am the girl trying to tell all our friends like, rest is just as important as a run or, you know, walking in nature and absorbing nature rather than just racing through and checking the box. It's like,

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (09:01)
Yeah.

Kristen Renee Appleby (09:19)
probably better for you. So yeah, I appreciate you saying that because I needed that like in between of, you tell me to be in your purpose. How? When I can barely get through the day, right? So, and the other aspect is...

to really bring healing to day to day lives with busy jobs and families and we're on the go. How do you really break it down so that it's manageable, that it's doable in your daily life? So I try to give like, I call it just like, here's a toolbox and you, I want to help people follow what feels best for you. I'm not going to tell you to do tapping or meditating or whatever it is, but here's a whole host of ideas in this

category and start to feel what, you know, grabs you. So that's why I needed that ladder to get to these big concepts.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (10:14)
Yeah, 100%. And I think we have such busy lives, whether you're a mother or not. When you get to midlife, you're facing burnout, you're facing all these, you know, identity crisis. You know, I say that lightly. It's more an awakening of to who you really are and finding your authenticity, you're questioning everything. You don't really have the time to now and try and figure out what these abstract concepts mean. So to have that practical step by step really does cut out a lot of the

Kristen Renee Appleby (10:31)
Yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (10:42)
you know, the guesswork, if I could say it that way.

Kristen Renee Appleby (10:45)
Yeah,

the other part of your question you asked, I realized that an answer was, I made it into a 12 week process, which might sound like, oh, that's so long. But the idea is to really like gently fold it into your life, right? Like connecting with your body isn't a one time thing.

Being mindful of what you eat and how you eat isn't a one-time thing. Being in nature, know, finding your purpose, all these courage, like all these things are like, let's work on it this week so that maybe I'll get a new habit and next week I'll do my coffee in nature, you know, like just a like folding in. So I just thought that's the best way to try to create like micro shifts and new micro habits too, rather than just like way too much.

We're all busy, a chapter a week is doable, right? So yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (11:39)
Yeah, absolutely. And I think the

way you've written it is really good. I was going to say, you know, you've taken it further to break it down into micro shifts, which then become manageable because it's changing a small thing. So, I mean, you could go back and do the 12 weeks. I'm assuming you could go back and do them again and make another small shift and another small shift and another small shift and sort of layer it up over time. So then it becomes not as overwhelming that I've got to do all of this work at once.

And I can, you know, you can't. Yeah.

Kristen Renee Appleby (12:08)
if you can. Yeah, it's

just being mindful. And yeah, rereading the book because one is like getting organized or cleaning your house, addressing, you know, things that may not be healthy for you within your house. So yeah, you could go through it again. All right. 12 weeks later, let me tackle that again in the house. Or, you know, ideally, it's just like a new way of living. But

You know, even I had to do a deep clean on Sunday. Nobody's perfect, right? So I'm like, even I know it's healthy for me. I gotta, I gotta get this cleaner. ⁓

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (12:36)
Yeah. ⁓

Yeah. Yeah.

We're always a work in progress, we? Yeah.

Kristen Renee Appleby (12:45)
Yeah, there's just a lot to do and

I'm a big advocate. You one of the parts of the framework is, you know, fill your cup. So you need to make time for joy and doing things that make you happy too. It's not just about what healthy things. It's like, go do something fun too. That's totally healing.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (13:06)
Yeah. So let's go back to the beginning. So you were diagnosed with the autoimmune disease. And as you say, this wasn't in the book, you say this wasn't a surprise considering your childhood. So can you talk us through that and what the connections were?

Kristen Renee Appleby (13:20)
Sure, I mean I'm a big believer again. Well, I'll back up. I was in my mid-30s when I got my diagnosis. I have to be careful my words. When I got the diagnosis. I no longer claim ownership so I do not say my diagnosis. So I was in my mid-30s when I got the diagnosis and

Yeah, at the time it was a surprise, shocking, I was a big runner and it was during a workout and anyhow, I just remember thinking at the doctor's office, I'm gonna be the one to heal this and I didn't know it'd take 10 years but what, you know, I would do all the food protocols, I'd do all the fancy things, I tried everything all the while keeping my like crazy lifestyle, never addressed that and

being a pleaser, keeping great family relations even though there was a lot of... we just tended to brush things under the rug and like forget stuff and I just think your body hits a limit of stuff that's not good for you whether it's the food

products or emotions. That's what I've now learned. So the way I kind of realized the connection is I had a few like overnight healing events when I made big changes in my life, truly overnight. So,

That's how I learned there's so much at play with the mind body connection. There's so much at play with are you in alignment, right? Like I was living with an arm stuck for years off and on to various degrees, trying everything, every chiropractor, every, and I'm not knocking any profession at all, but it just.

we weren't connecting all the dots, or I wasn't. And I resigned from a job and instantly my arm, it's never been stuck since. So I believe in the emotional component and Hay was such a pioneer of the emotional component of the pain or...

illness, whatever you want to call it in the body, inflammation. So that happened. I had eye, they called it iritis. I was in and out of the ophthalmologist's office every single week monitoring it. I sold my house and moved states and was like on mid-drive moving states and I just said to myself, I don't even know how I'm going to find another ophthalmologist on top of all my life's change. I'm not bringing this to my new state. This is not part of my next chapter. I've never had it again.

So there's like, I'm getting goosebumps each time I talk about this, there's real, those aren't coincidences, I don't think. And, you know, even in the back of her books, she talks about what, you know, the eye.

Like I didn't want to see something, you know, where I was living or this is about, I think, resistant to change. My knee had off and on inflammation forever. And that's about support, right? Like think about how it supports your body, but support in your life in general, I wasn't feeling supported or stable. And I mean, we can dive into it with like the right and left side of your body. And I love all this stuff, but

All these healing events also happened while I was finally addressing trauma too. I was finally, you know, changing my lifestyle to not live so stressed and in the hustle. all these things whereas the diets would help, but it would kind of put it at bay and then it would return during like a stressful event. So for me, the healing didn't occur until I made these like big shifts in my life.

That's how I think of it as like, like I was saying, like a toxic bank. Like one, I think like one bite of the wrong food when I was so filled with toxic stuff, emotions or whatever lifestyle, it would trigger something. And then, you know, I also had a woman tell me quite bluntly, well, inflammation means anger. So you'll stuck anger. So I had to really work on that and address that.

and all the things I wasn't ever allowed to feel as a child, I had to work on ways to release them. I hope that wasn't too long windage, but I'm so excited. Okay.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (17:29)
No, no, that was perfect. No, that's great. I love this

stuff. love how and, and, you know, so this is one of the reasons why I wanted to do the podcast is that, you know, I came, I became aware of the mind body connection about two years ago. And since then I've been wanting to scream it from the, from the rooftops is because I think we still have a long way to go in terms of making everyone aware and to understand that we carry all of this in our bodies and

Kristen Renee Appleby (17:57)
Yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (17:58)
when you get to a certain point where your body just starts shutting down and saying no more. And it has to be released, it has to be attended to, you can't ignore it anymore. And the more you try and ignore it, the worse it gets.

Kristen Renee Appleby (18:03)
Yeah.

I think about women.

And women tend to hold emotions for other people too. there's so much that, especially for pleasers or givers or helpers, we tend to carry that. But yeah, you need outlets to release it. You have to take care of yourself.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (18:16)
Yeah. Yeah.

And especially as women, tend to do that a lot more than men do. And we tend to suffer a lot more. think Gabor Matej talks about that where women, like, I think it's 80%. I mean, don't quote me because I'm not 100 % sure on the quote, but it was a significant number. It's women that suffer with autoimmune diseases and inflammation because we carry a lot of this because we have to suppress a lot and we people pleases and to say everything that you've just said.

Kristen Renee Appleby (18:59)
Yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (18:59)
This is a really important topic,

especially for women, that I'm going to keep bringing every week.

Kristen Renee Appleby (19:06)
It's so funny because right when I got it and learned all this, I was shouting from the rooftops and anyone that came in, was like, or I came across, I'm like, oh, I have the answer. And then I learned to like, you can't say it to the people that aren't ready, aren't open to that or aren't ready to hear it. So that bit me a few times to be like, I have all the answers for you, but you know, it's, it's.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (19:22)
hear it.

Kristen Renee Appleby (19:33)
It's going to resonate with who it resonates with. It might like plant a seed now for later, right? But I've learned, you know, I people that are like, I'll help market you. like, no, the people that will resonate will find me and, when they're ready, there's no forcing any of this, you know, but I agree. Like my friends are starting to catch on all of them and they'll text me like,

I have this pain, what do think it means? And so we pull it up in the Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life book. She has a glossary and we're like, let's look up the body part. And it's like always accurate.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (20:10)
Yeah, yeah.

I think I've got a book similar actually on my bookshelf and it's not Louise Hayes, it's a different book, but it's basically the same thing. It has a glossary and it tells you if you've got this, this is what it's... And it's just surprising to me that it's on point. It's just on point and how our body shows us what is lying beneath in terms of emotional baggage or trauma or...

Kristen Renee Appleby (20:27)
Yeah.

Thank

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (20:34)
you know, anything to that level that needs, we need to go deeper to heal. It's not just eating well and exercising. It's a much, much deeper layer.

Kristen Renee Appleby (20:43)
Yeah, there's there's so much like I even I wear my my blue Bracelet because that's your throat chakra and I'm still learning to like speak about this so I like I'm I'm I'm all into all of it You know, I what color am I wearing for a podcast? What do I want to like feel like everything's everything's connected and

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (21:05)
Absolutely.

So let's circle back to the masculine feminine energy because that's another really important topic, I think. So many women operate mostly from the masculine energy because of society's expectations of us and just everything that we have to do and face nowadays. We're probably living in one of the toughest times for women, but also equally in one of the greatest times because there's so much information about this. So what would you say is the biggest downside of living in

exclusively in your masculine energy.

Kristen Renee Appleby (21:40)
I think you can get burnt out. I think it's just, honestly, once I learned to bring in the feminine, I like loved it so much that I went too far even. But what I will say is if you're only, like we're meant to be, it might sound cheesy, but I believe.

It's like a balance system, right? We're meant to be in balance and it's fine if you're like in the hustle and go so much during the day, but being mindful of like, how do you reset to bring in some feminine or relaxation or allowing or receiving, you know, to kind of rebalance. ⁓ cause like I said, I couldn't rest. was at only in the go only looking

for others. mean, if I, to get it all done I would just sleep less. I mean, it was terrible.

will tell you, you know, not only did I have the naturopath telling me these results, like you have no testosterone and you know, you're too stressed, but I was working with a medical intuitive at the time and neither of them knew of the other and they said the same thing in very different ways, but it was like both saying, she said, why are you repelling the masculine? And then if you also think about, well, I'll give credit.

had a massage at Miraval with a medical, excuse me, intuitive masseuse. And we were, I was inflamed at the time and she was the first person to say, like, you we were talking about what the body means. And was the first time I really heard that. And she told me, and you know, it's probably in your book too, the right side of your body represents the masculine and the left side is the feminine.

Every issue I have was on the right side. I mean, you can't make this stuff up. And I was only in the hustle and I had no testosterone for the naturopath and repelling the masculine for the medical intuitive. we learn ways to like decode your body. It's like so fascinating. And even like when you ground with if the feminine is the left side, if we have both feet on the ground,

apparently, we receive energy from the left side too. And if you think of feminine, that's like receiving, allowing, right?

trusting and then the right side is where we release energy. So I was only expelling and I was never replenishing. So of course I was running on literal fumes. But there's just so many cool ways to approach it. So yeah, I think we have to be in the hustle and masculine at times in our lives, but what can you do? You know, again, it's these, my little staircase to help people, but like, so yes, that's a reality, but

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (24:09)
soon.

Kristen Renee Appleby (24:28)
what are some ways to add in some feminine even like put on some feminine colors like whatever it is for you It all helps put on some relaxing music buy yourself flowers, whatever it is But I fully believe it all helps

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (24:45)
Yeah, absolutely. And so if someone's listening, what would an imbalance, how would an imbalance show up in the body? Just a couple of examples.

Kristen Renee Appleby (24:53)
Oh, mean, I think it is these like pains that show that's a really good question, quite frankly, because it probably could be different for everyone. But I would think if you're just like, so tired and just so needing to sleep, you probably have overdone it on one side, you know, and I remember

All I would dream about was a year of sleep. I didn't dream about a fancy car. I didn't dream about anything. My friends were going on vacations. I'm like, all I want is a year of sleep. And I gave myself that when I quit my job and sold my house and moved to the mountains. And again, that's not the path for everyone. So I wrote about how to heal in your real lives, but.

that's all I wanted. And when I did that, I slept 12 to 15 hours every single day for months. So my body, I think was just like coming out of fight or flight and survival and finally felt safe. So yeah, I mean, I think it could be signs of burnout or exhaustion. You know, just things not feeling like they're working correctly in your body. It's just amazing what like

good sleep can do, right? It's so healing. It's like that's your time for your body to like heal.

Yeah, I hope that makes sense. I just think it's different for everyone, right? Like no part of what I teach is like, you got to do this. It's like everyone's lives are different. Everyone's past and present and stresses. It's all different. But here's like a framework to that could help you navigate. And here's how, you know, I encourage you to trust what what feels right for you. You know, I've had friends reach out and go, what kind of water do you drink? I'm like,

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (26:17)
is.

Kristen Renee Appleby (26:43)
Okay, trust this. Let's work on cleaner water in your house. Like that's probably your gut or your body communicating that like you want to make that shift, right? So move forward with that.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (26:58)
And I love how you do that in the book. Like you're not giving specific advice, but you're giving sort of examples and sort of making it, you know, where you're thinking about it in terms of yourself, but with a framework, like you say.

Kristen Renee Appleby (27:13)
Yeah, and I had such a dysregulated nervous system, quite frankly, right? I mean, my body was literally going haywire because it was going haywire. so I just want to be so gentle for others that also it's just like I'm a highly sensitive person and you just...

I don't want to tell anyone what to do. want to, you do it when you're ready to do it. You do whatever bits you're ready to do. It's not to be overwhelming. This is like a gentle unfolding. I even have bird sounds on my website just because like I was adamant with the website builder. I'm like, I want bird sounds. And they're like, but people don't do sounds. I'm like, but it's healing. So, you know, all that it's just, I want to

want to make it gentle because that's what I needed.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (28:08)
I think that's really good because it's not overbearing, is really, really, really nice to that's an easy read, which is good. Yeah.

Kristen Renee Appleby (28:13)
Yeah.

It's too much, but it's my personality anyhow. That's how I am in real life. yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (28:24)
Now I

found it really, because some books, you know, they're a bit more of a harder read and it takes you longer to get through them. Whereas your book, was a really good, easy read that you could get through it quite easily. If like, if you wanted to read it cover to cover, you could do that in like within a few hours. It's that easier read, but I appreciate that you break it down week by week and that it's just, yeah, it's just set up really lovely.

Kristen Renee Appleby (28:31)
you

Okay.

Yeah.

Thank you. Yeah, just it's really just the how it's less of my background. I really just want to put out the how.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (28:54)
You're welcome. Yeah. Yeah.

So in week one, you introduce the body scan practice. someone, when someone is, has had some questions around this. when someone's doing this, what signal should they be looking for if they've never been in tune or connected to their bodies? So like, how would they recognize what emotions are in the body and giving it a name? So how would you know that this emotion is shame or this emotion is? ⁓

⁓ you know, whatever else, because they've never connected to their body. How do they identify that?

Kristen Renee Appleby (29:23)
Mmm.

Yeah.

It's a good question and different for everyone but having never connected, you know, and I was that person, I had someone give me techniques of like pretend, because I couldn't even be in my heart so it's like pretend there's an elevator, know, bring your focus slowly down and it's hard. So I honestly think it's like to just do it once and just send emotion, you know, to every part.

And things may not come up, but it's really just allowing if anything does, right? Like sometimes if you get down into your root chakra, maybe things do come up. And it might just, it may take a few times. It may not. It might be easier to have a guided meditation to you know, hear someone's voice to guide you and to be aware. But really it's just that

being really, really present with your body. And, you know, I kind of break it down into just sending presence and awareness to every single part. And then maybe the next step is to send love. And it might be while you're trying to send love, maybe a part is like, that's so weird, you've never sent me love before. Here's an emotion that's gonna come up, right? Like, what are you sending me love? But,

I'm gonna go on a tangent, but I think there's a reason. have hairy arms. I hated my hairy arms, right? They're just like, just some peach fuzz. And.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (30:53)
Okay.

Kristen Renee Appleby (31:03)
or just peach, not just my, like peach fuzz. I'll just say in general. I can't believe I'm showing this, but it's okay. But I realized there's a really good reason for it. That's my little sensitivity areas, right? Like when they talk about the hair on the back of your neck and I'm very sensitive. So the...

parts of my body that I used to not send love to and dislike end up being like wonderful parts of my body. you know, once you do it, you might have those weird realizations and it's so much more fun to live loving all parts of you because you're not.

this is you, right? Like what a better way to like love every single part of you, even the imperfect parts, because there's reasons for them or just makes you unique. but yeah, sending it love may bring up weird stories you used to tell yourself or who knows. And then that's fun to sit with because then you're going to release it. So it's almost like a, it's like shadow work really. That's really part of it.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (32:03)
That's a really good way to explain it. And I think the takeaway from that is that if nothing happens in the first session, just keep at it. Don't give up.

Kristen Renee Appleby (32:07)
you

Yeah, you gotta be so gentle. It's kind of like, it's like meditating, right? Like, I hate it. Like, I could not sit still. I didn't get it. All the thoughts were coming in, all your lists, but it took, you know, over time. Now I love it and can be really quiet with it or and now I'm, you know, I had a little pain in my knee and I sent it love. I'm like, hi, me. I love you. Like you're trying to tell me something. And that may sound weird, but I truly believe think of like

mothers kiss their baby, I don't have children, but when they give their kids a kiss on you know a cut, they're sending it love. I think there's real reasons that that has always been in our culture because it's healing and I just truly believe that. So if send ⁓ kids cut some love, why aren't we sending our body love too?

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (33:11)
And I imagine that when you're stuck in that masculine energy and you're so in that stuck in the masculine energy, your results orientated. So you're like, I want to see the result. want to see what's happening. I need something to happen. I need to feel something. You know, why is nothing happening? You know, we try and control. We're trying to control the outcome. So it's just, yeah, just reminding yourself to.

Kristen Renee Appleby (33:30)
Yeah, I think

well and when I was in that mindset one thing that really shifted for me was reading somewhere I can't remember where but like brain scan results of what actually happens when you sit in meditation and how good it is for your brain. So even if nothing's happening or you know you're not getting a message just being in stillness and presence

is doing your body like amazing things. so think of that as even though you like, you may not see those results, but they're happening. you even, people talk about forming new neuropathways, right? If you like start to like for me having been fear-based and then I started to like be more trusting and you know, even at first forced it, but I think new neuropathways kept forming and now, you know,

Trust me, I still have some of those fear-based thoughts, but I'm way more aware of it and then can like, okay, I see you. I want to be, we're going back into trust. So, you know, I'm not fully like 100 % perfectly, but I'm very night and day from before and I can see it happening and I can shift it.

⁓ so just like anything, consider it like going to the gym, but for your mind body connection, like you just gotta learn a new muscle. And for so many of us that are in the hustle, it is quite foreign and new and uncomfortable. And, but

I ended up just, like I said, loving it so much that I went too far and I was like, I only want to work out. I just want to meditate all day, you know, but I'm back to balance and do the workout and the hustle and the meditation and rebalancing.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (35:28)
Absolutely, that's what it comes back to. So you also talk about eating healthy, but you raise something interesting in the book about preservatives and packaging. And so I just wanted you to talk a little bit about that, because I thought that was quite interesting.

Kristen Renee Appleby (35:43)
Well, when I was going through my one, I had a coach working with me weekly to help me address all this trauma. And she was, she is an intuitive. And so.

There was a period of time where I got my body, I think I got a cold or something and I couldn't eat for a few days. And the second I ate two things, like my joints had been good and the second I ate two things, it like froze again. And I called my friend, I'm like, we can narrow it down. I thought I was getting to the root cause of 10 years of autoimmune right then, right? Like this meal I had after.

three days of not being able to eat. And I said I had an almond milk latte and I had chips and like canned beans or something. I just tried to make it easy. Sorry, I that's not the best meal, but that's what I ate. And I called her and I'm like, so what is it? Is it coffee? it, you know? And she said it's the almond milk can sometimes have moldy almonds.

So it's the like preservatives, right? Cause I bought it, I got it from a coffee shop. So I didn't know what all was in the store bought almond milk, what they used. And then she said the chips, I didn't even tell her the brand name. She said the chips, it's the metal that's inside the chips were once, and same with the can, once it opened up and got oxidized.

that was being sent into my body. So it was like the preservatives and the packaging, right? And the processing too, because a glass of wine would do it for me too back then, because she said it was stored in metal vats. So I was able to like work with them intuitive in real time and she could break it down and tell me the brand name of chips when I didn't even tell her. So it's nothing to do, but it turns out those things just...

should be careful that I say, but what I believe is those things may not be helpful, healthy for us in large quantities, but when you're, but when you're filled already with toxic emotions, right? I was still like in my stressful job and you know, I was in the peak of it when I had started, when I was working with her. And so those things were just,

tipping the scale. was just that like tipping point, right? Because now I can eat all that stuff. I mean, I do it in moderation and barely, you know, I, well, I still do sometimes, but it was just too much on me. And so then to see like, I can eat it now because so much other stuff has been released from me, right? And I have,

thought process and I'm not fear-based. So yeah, we broke it down. You know, it helped me learn to eat real food because I was like a vegetarian. And again, I'm not, I never tell people how to eat ever. That's not my lane at all. But I just believe in try to mean, try to eat just real whole foods organic if and when possible. Right. So less packaged, preserved, processed. But

You know, I'm not perfect, but just as a general rule.

But also, you know, what I've dove into more recently is your emotions while you eat too, right? There's so much to do with that too. And maybe it was impacting me more because I was just like, you know, a few like mindlessly stress eat, which I did, you know, up until even recently, like just like stress eating your, I had a different intuitive say how you're, sending that into your stomach, right? You're sending that emotion down. So it

probably was both, but I do think, you know, I've been called a canary in a coal mine. Like I think with my body having been so toxic and that being the tipping point, I think it's saying it's not great for any of us probably, but you know, some of us can handle it better than others too, right? I'm a sensitive person, so it impacted me.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (39:35)
Yeah.

Yeah. All right.

Kristen Renee Appleby (39:43)
Yeah,

so these are from Believe It or Not. There's a lot of medical intuitives and coaches that helped uncover all this and we were able to put it all together.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (39:54)
I love what you're saying about the eating with your emotions because I know someone and it's funny that you said that because I know someone and when he gets really angry or annoyed and he eats, can literally, and I would always say to him, I can see that you're literally stuffing the anger down with your food in the way that you're eating and he's got digestive issues. And I'm like, it's because you're stuffing the anger down. Like just express it, let it out and then eat your meal.

So it's just so interesting. And that's not that anyone told me. It's just something that I could visibly see that was so obvious. Yeah.

Kristen Renee Appleby (40:31)
Yeah, yeah,

I love that you saw it and you're right. I I think that's why for, know, traditions has been to bless your food. I really think that's like, we're sending gratitude down when we eat. We're grateful for the animal or whatever it is that you're eating.

for the food on your plate. it's like those family dinners, right? As much as I like, didn't love them as a kid, it was probably really good. Cause we're not, we weren't in front of the TV. We, you know, bless the food. We're sitting there present to just eat. It's not like doing to, you know, we are watching a show or on the computer. It's like, this is time to eat and be present. So.

There's something to be said for it, for sure. Yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (41:21)
So one of the things that I really enjoyed is that you link the color of food to the different chakras. So can you talk a little bit about that? Because I really love that concept.

Kristen Renee Appleby (41:24)
you ⁓

Yeah, I mean, I believe, just am such an advocate of nature. And I think nature could really be guiding the way, right? And not only is it, I mean, yeah, I like, if you think about crystals too, a lot of times they say, know, grab, do I have some right by me? But grab the crystal that's, know, that's resonating or talking to you, like just.

no one tells you which crystal to get, right? And often it might be, like my blue one, of course I'm wearing them, but I, right now I want to focus on my throat chakra and speaking up more. So also I probably should be eating blueberries. I just do believe that nature provides the clues and you know, sometimes even if you think about the shapes of food and

Well, I'll get back to chakras. So, you know, I'm sure your audience knows. I mean, I didn't know for years, but each chakra does have a different color that's correlating to it. And I believe it because I saw it in a reiki session before I even knew that there were colors. I woke up, I came out of it. I'm like, oh, I saw these colors. And she's like, you're explaining the chakras. So I'm like, this is real because like, I didn't even know about it.

So yeah, I do think like maybe for your friend with the upset stomach, that's what like orange, right? For your sacral chakra or yellow for your solar plexus. So that might help. And then I find it fascinating with like what things look like. Like carrots, sliced carrots look like an eye and we know carrots are good for our eyes, right? So

Touching a tree I find this fascinating if you we know touching a tree well It's understood that touching a tree can help with grounding to just like being barefoot And if you think about it tree rings kind of look like our fingerprints So I just think there's just clues all around us ⁓ or sometimes I go for walk in nature surrounded by green I'm like, well, this is helping my heart chakra, which is green. So Yeah, eat, you know, I just think there's something to be said for it

Do I have complete proof? No, but I do think, you know, from, I do think nature's here for a reason and we are nature and I do think nature is that smart that it is providing clues to help us.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (43:56)
absolutely. Absolutely. It's way smarter than we are. And growing up in Africa, that's definitely something you learn is that nature is amazing and doesn't need our intervention. If anything, we need it more than it needs us.

Kristen Renee Appleby (44:11)
We need it. Yeah. And that's one thing I just want to like talk about and share and spread. Like we can't forget that we are nature, you know, every morning. I mean, it's in the book, but I literally go outside every morning with my coffee. We feed my dog and I feed the birds, listen to the bird song, ground with our bare feet, have morning light. You know, I try to get it in every day. Um, cause I do think, you know,

I think it's healing. was called to the trees to heal and I was, when I was in my healing process, I happened to be surrounded by pine trees, which happened once I read about it. They emit DHEA, which is the same thing I was prescribed by my naturopath. So I do believe I was called to go to an area to heal and I got off DHEA because I'm like, I'm surrounded by it. I read about this. So.

you know, whatever. If there's a nudge and you're suddenly craving something, there's probably a reason. Then think about like a natural, not like a sugar craving, but like if you suddenly want to a lot of bananas, like it maybe it's because your solar plexus wants it maybe, right? It's just kind of wild once you start to think about it and how it all kind of makes sense and comes together.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (45:33)
Absolutely, and I think it really does. So one other thing that you talk about in your book is you talk about the immediate, including your immediate environment and your healing process, especially your home. So why is this so important?

Kristen Renee Appleby (45:48)
Yeah, I think it's an area you can control, right? Hopefully, or some of us can, like having a clean environment, having kind of a healing environment, safe and healing. I think of it as, you know, I talk about going room by room, but really like what

What products do you have? Like, do you have like air fresheners or unnatural products? And maybe could you replace, start to replace them with more natural versions, right? Because it's, you really want to think about your life connected from mind, body, lifestyle, environment, patterns. It's, this is about addressing all of it, but in like a, like I said, a gentle unfolding, but.

You know, even down to like Feng Shui, like, do you have what's your like health corner or if it's a money corner? Just like I do think to being organized and having a clean environment, it just eliminates some more, some chaos up here. And it's just it's something you can control. And like I said, it can be a slow process, but

It just, it all helps. want like a, you know, people would literally come into my house and say, the energy feels so good here. I'm like, thank you. I work on it a lot, right? Like either it's a natural candle or saging it or, or speaking well when you're in your house, right? There's, I remember moving houses and I'm like, I'm not.

my cool in this house ever. It's going to be such a Zen house and it's not completely realistic but I do my best right and adding plants and different things that just help and have a cleaner environment like a more more conducive to healing and I guess what I should say is I believe our body is always healing so I think all this is to help the natural healing process rather than hinder it right so it's just ways to like

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (47:46)
Thank you.

Kristen Renee Appleby (47:48)
help what this is designed to do naturally.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (47:51)
I love what you said about the decluttering. mean, who doesn't after a good decluttering clean, who doesn't feel like mentally more clear? You know, it's just, there is. Yeah, there is something like you just feel lighter and the energy feels better in the room. I don't know anyone who's after a declutter and a clean is like, oh, this, I feel terrible. My head, you know, my, can't think I'm overwhelmed. You know, it's definitely a calming effect.

Kristen Renee Appleby (48:00)
Right, there's a real connection.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (48:20)
for everybody.

Kristen Renee Appleby (48:21)
Think about

getting into clean sheets. All that is just so fun. It's not the most fun thing to clean. Some people like it, but the after impact is huge. And just think it as it's for your health the next time you're cleaning.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (48:34)
Yeah, it's worth it in the end. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly.

So in your book for week 10, you talk about finding your purpose. Now, this is a big theme in midlife because this is really when if you have not been living in alignment with your purpose, it really starts to crop up in midlife. So does do you have to do the healing work first so that that becomes a lot clearer? Do you think?

Kristen Renee Appleby (48:51)
you

I'm glad you brought up this one. Cause that's when I found my purpose was midlife, well in my forties, right? So I will back up and say yes, because like I think back now to college even and all these people like knew their majors or they know their majors going into college. And I'm like, how? And

And it's because I was in survival and you can't, how are you envisioning like your best life or where you're supposed to be here? What brings you joy when you're being chased by tigers, right? Like if let's just break it down, what's happening in your body. So of course, and of course my purpose didn't come together until I was going through my healing. And again, this isn't for everyone, but

You know, my purpose was something I realized I always had within me. I always loved nature as a kid. I was always a helper and I'd gotten and started to get all these nudges about writing and it just, and then I had my cataclysmic event that just like brought it all together. But.

It wasn't, you know, like we talked about earlier, even manifesting comes from the heart. So yeah, a lot of it, no one should be worried or wonder why they haven't found their purpose yet. it just might, I call it pre-purpose steps, right? Of like, let's address some limiting beliefs. Let's make sure you feel safe. That's kind of why this book guides in it. It's not a set order, but it's like, let's address some of these layers first. And purpose comes in chapter.

or

10 because I want you to find some ways to create safety already to, you know, start to be courageous, self-love, like all self-love is towards the end. But anyhow, I do think.

I mean, again, this is my journey and my experience, but that's when it came together and it might take some healing for people that had deep limiting beliefs or living in fear and survival to just like, let's create the safety and let's get some of the foundation in order. yeah, but purpose is whether it's like a creative pursuit or just like a side hobby or a side hustle,

so incredibly healing and so valuable and right now I'm writing another book about healing in the corporate world too but

Even if you're in a job or doing things that you just it feels out of alignment, if you have this purpose behind you, you'll still wake up happier each day that you're building towards a goal or you have this thing that brings you joy. So I try to, you know, give a bunch of ideas or suggestions of how to find purpose and including like a fascinating one of like connecting astrology with it. It was like mind blowing to me to learn that. ⁓

like your north node. So I give a tip on that too but I'm just so into it now and like my astrology is so incredibly accurate with where I am and it's like like why didn't we know about this so long ago right? Like that would have saved me years of why am in these jobs or whatever it was but now we know and let's like move forward with the new knowledge.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (52:14)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, absolutely. Don't get me started on astrology because that's my, that's my, my thing. I love like you see all these books. Most of them are astrology I've done. I don't know how many courses and I do readings for people. So I absolutely love it. And for me, I see it as a self-development tool. A lot of people think it's predictive or it's witchcraft or it's a culty, but it's really

The astrology that I study, which is psychological astrology, the astrology that I practice, it's really about self-development, finding out who you are, the energies around you at this moment, how can you capitalize on them? If you're going through a difficult energy at the moment, how can, what can you do to try and move through that to learn the lessons that you need to learn that needs to be integrated to build you up to the person you're meant to be at the end of the day. So yeah.

Kristen Renee Appleby (53:06)
Mm-hmm.

and that's it.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (53:14)
I could do like three hours on astrology.

Kristen Renee Appleby (53:15)
love that.

I'm still like the newer one looking, you know, throw it into chat or I've taken some things but worked with a lot of astrologists and I didn't get it for so long but just digging in is like wow like what is Chiron? my gosh that's so cool and where's my point of fortune? It's just like the more you dig in it's just mind-blowing how

it can be you too and how much you can learn from it, learn about yourself. ⁓ But again, it doesn't resonate for everyone.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (53:49)
Exactly.

That's true. And that's why I like, never,

I don't get involved in discussions with people that want me to try and validate it or prove it. I'm not up for those conversations. Like if you're interested and you're ready for it, I'm here. But if you're not, that's okay too. That's really okay. When you are ready, you know where to find me.

Kristen Renee Appleby (54:15)
Yeah, I'm even, because I post on LinkedIn about kind of workplace wellness. It's big passion of mine, like combining both of my paths. And I've posted some on some like light astrology just to like help you find your purpose or how you're supposed to like make money, like your, your, it says, like what your path is about how you might, you know, point of fortune or whatever it is. And

because I like to just put a little bit out there on LinkedIn and you know, because I do think it's all connected and it could only help to, again, for those that resonate, but it's fun to be like a little bit spiritual light on LinkedIn just to, for anyone that it gravitates towards, right? ⁓

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (55:02)
Yeah, exactly.

So your book, we've talked a lot about your book today.

What do you hope that women will experience as they move through your book?

Kristen Renee Appleby (55:11)
Yeah, I hope they just see it as like a toolbox that they can come back to and that they can learn. I hope they see that like if I can do it and again, I'm not saying I was the worst off, but I was pretty far with fear and rampant autoimmune. Like I can do it then, you I want to give hope and inspiration for others and how much like mindset.

how much you can make shifts with your life and even just small ones. I guess ultimately it's kind of hope and inspiration and yeah, and a toolbox and just like a gentle approach. It's like, I like to be, like you said, you know, the bridge to like ground real steps.

to get to these big ideas. So I think it's like maybe spiritual light for some people or just like, you know, a gentle unfolding. I hate to keep saying that, but it's true.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (56:11)
Now I think that's a good way a good way to describe it so Last question I have and this is what

I ask all my guests at the end of show is What would you tell your younger self if she was sitting next to you right now? Knowing what you know now

Kristen Renee Appleby (56:26)
Hang in there, honestly. And yeah, I think like, and I do say this to my younger self now, I know I'm gonna make her proud and there's a reason why she went through the crap she went through and that it's only recently that I was able to get to. And I say it in the book, what if it was all happening for you? So.

My younger self went through some stuff and, but it was really to learn what I needed to learn to help other people. So there's a reason for it. And, and she's going to help a lot of people. So you're going to leave me with tears, but that's what I fully believe. I believe there's, you know, it was for me. I chose a path.

not to like to buy a horn, but I think they call it the shaman's journey where it's like, you learn it by going through it and then you help others. And I'll tie it back to midlife awakening and a chiron, you know, I'm also in a human design, a three six, which is the martyr role model. And I'm just about to turn 50. So this role model is just about to blast off and be the, you know, completely be embodied in

the path of now, okay, you went through it, you healed what you need to heal, and now you're really here to step up and help others. ⁓ And all that at 50, right? So at least for me. And now you know my age.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (58:00)
I love that.

Hahaha!

I love that. That's such a great message. Such a great message for your younger self. And yeah, I'm excited to see your journey and how it unfolds, honestly.

Kristen Renee Appleby (58:15)
It's a

Thank you. This was so lovely. I really appreciate you reading my book too and all your really thoughtful questions. This was lovely. Like, I love what you're doing too.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (58:26)
Yeah.

Thank

you so much. really appreciate that. So now this is your opportunity. Where can listeners find you and your work if they want to reach out or if they want to get your book?

Kristen Renee Appleby (58:41)
Sure, thank you.

I just rebranded my website. It's called Kristen Renee Rebuilding. So it's all about, you know, rebuilding a healthy foundation. So I'm on Amazon too. My author name is Kristen Renee. And the book we were chatting about is called the Elements of Healing. But yeah, my website, we're just making updates to it now too. So it's getting better and better. And I'm about to start an email list. So if people want to join that,

I have new books that I'm always working on and coming out. Yeah, but Kristen Renee Rebuilding, it just feels right. So thank you.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (59:16)
Okay. Yeah,

you're welcome. So I'll put the links in the show notes if anyone wants to head over to your website and sign up to a newsletter or to find out more about your book or the work that you're doing, everything will be down in the show notes. Kristin, thank you so much for joining me today. It's been an absolute pleasure talking to you. And honestly, I really loved your book and I'm gonna read it again and I'm gonna do the 12 weeks.

Kristen Renee Appleby (59:44)
do one more thing but I wrote I applied the framework to my remaining money wounds my limiting beliefs about money and I sped it up to a 12-day process too and it it created some shifts so the frameworks legit but I love that you enjoyed the book so that really makes me happy because it's it's a work of love right it's just something that comes through you and

It's like, it's just in me to write these books. So thank you. That's a huge, huge compliment.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (1:00:16)
your

Well, thank you for bringing your gift to the world and for sharing with the rest of us.

Kristen Renee Appleby (1:00:24)
Thank you, I appreciate it. All right.

The Midlife Awakening (1:00:30)
So that's a wrap on today's episode, and I really hope that something that Kristen has shared today landed for you. I really enjoyed the conversation and I took a lot away from it in addition to reading her book.

Maybe you took away the fact that your body is always communicating with you, or that healing doesn't have to be all or nothing. Those are some of the things that I've taken away from this. Or simply that they're a reminder that it's never too late for you to rebuild your life. Now, if you want to go deeper with Kristen's work, her book, The Elements of Healing, is available on Amazon under her author name, Kristen Renee. I'll link it directly in the show notes. She's also working on her next book, Healing the Money Wound. Now who doesn't want to heal a money wound?

So I I mean I know for sure I can't wait to read that one and that's next on my list. So you can find her at KristenReneHealing.com and follow along on Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok, all at Kristen Renee Rebuilds. Again, everything is in the show notes, people. Now, if this re this episode has moved you, there's a couple of things that you can do. You can share it with someone who needs to hear it. You can leave a review so that I know that you've enjoyed the episode.

And this is the kind of content that you want hear. And also don't forget to check that you've hit the little bell to subscribe so that you can get notified when the next episode drops. And if you're enjoying this content, then please join me on either Substack as a subscriber or Facebook and my midlife awakening Facebook group. It is my mission to create a community for all of us, amazing and wise women that are going through this important awakening, a place where we can share our experiences.

laugh together and cry together when it all goes to shit on those bad, bad days. Because I definitely don't want to feel like I'm alone on those days specifically. Now if you're interested if you have an interesting story about midlife that you like to share on the show, then please drop me a message. All the links again are in the show notes. You know where to go. I would genuinely love to hear from you guys. Okay, so that is a wrap for today's episode. Join me next week where I'll be speaking to another amazing guest.

Until next week, take care of your heart and remember it's never too late to begin again. Bye for now.