From "Something's Wrong With Me" to Radical Self-Love: Breaking Subconscious Patterns in Midlife l Liora Sponko l EP42

Have you ever felt like you're living smaller than you were meant to? Like something invisible is holding you back — and you can't quite name what it is?

In this episode of The Midlife Awakening, I sit down with empowerment coach and motivational speaker Liora Sponko to explore the subconscious patterns, limiting beliefs, and childhood wounds that keep so many of us stuck — and how midlife is actually the perfect moment to finally break free from them.

Liora spent years living under the weight of one quietly devastating belief: there's something wrong with me. That story fuelled anxiety, people-pleasing, and self-doubt — until she committed to peeling back the layers through deep transformational work. Today she helps women, entrepreneurs, and leaders move from scarcity to abundance, from fear to radical self-love.

In this episode we cover:

• Why 95% of our thoughts are subconscious loops from the past — and how to interrupt them
• The difference between scarcity mindset and abundance mindset, and how to shift between them
• Liora's three-step Internal Work Framework: unblock the past, reprogram the present, embody the future
• Why midlife is not a crisis — it's an awakening and an opportunity
• The power of emotional release (yes, including crying) as a somatic healing tool
• How to tell the difference between your thoughts and your intuition
• Why inner child healing is the key to changing your outer world

Connect with Liora Sponko:

• 🌐 Website: liorasponko.com — download her free Internal Work Framework
• 📞 Book a free Breakthrough Call via her website
• 📸 Instagram: @liorasponko
• 👥 Facebook: @lioramotivates

Transcript

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (00:00)
Welcome to the Midlife Awakening podcast. My name is Odelia and I'm your host. Now, if you're a regular listener, welcome back. And if you're joining me for the very first time, welcome to the show. What if the story quietly running your life, the one that says there's something wrong with me isn't the truth, but just a protective pattern you picked up a

long time ago? Today's guest knows that story intimately.

For over a decade, Leora Sponko has been dedicated to the art of transformation, but her journey didn't begin as an empowerment coach or motivational speaker. It began in the shadows of our own fear.

For years, Leora lived under the weight of the limiting belief that there was something fundamentally wrong with her. That story fueled anxiety, people pleasing and self doubt, keeping her small and disconnected from the life she knew was possible. Her path to freedom wasn't a quick fix. It was what she calls peeling back the onion, dismantling layers of unworthiness through decades of deep inner work. From landmark worldwide leadership training and cognitive therapy,

to energy healing and spiritual practices. She committed herself to breaking subconscious patterns and stepping into authentic self-expression. Today, as a certified life and spiritual coach, Leora blends transformational mindset tools with intuitive energy work to help others move from scarcity to abundance. From fear to radical self-love, she supports entrepreneurs, creators, leaders, and seekers to uncover the stories that keep them stuck.

and create lives rooted in purpose, clarity and ease. In this episode, we talk about the subconscious loops that keep us living in Groundhog Day, why midlife is the perfect time to interrupt those patterns, and how emotional healing, even something as simple as allowing yourself to cry, can open the door to a completely new chapter. If you've ever felt like you're living smaller than you meant to, this conversation is for you. Let's dive

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (02:04)
Welcome to the Midlife Awakening podcast. I'm your host, Odilia. This is a podcast about transformation for women who are waking up to who they really are while navigating everything that comes with midlife. And I want you to know I'm on this journey right alongside you.

This is the show where we explore everything from the spiritual tools that can help us in our daily practices to healing modalities that we can use to heal what we've been carrying for so long to the everyday midlife topics that a midlife woman faces like perimenopause, finances, career changes, and so much more. Each week we go deeper into what it means to heal, to awaken, and to finally become the most authentic version of yourself. I'm so glad that you found your way here.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (02:54)
Hi, Leora, welcome to the Midlife Awakening Show. I'm so glad that you can join us today.

Liora Sponko (02:59)
Yeah, thank you so much for having me. It's a pleasure being here.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (03:02)
So why don't you tell us your story of how you got to where you are right now.

Liora Sponko (03:07)
Thank you. Yes. Well, I am an empowerment coach and motivational speaker and I've been coaching for over 12 years. And the way I got into coaching is through my own personal development. I've been doing the work for years and years and years, several different programs. And as I was doing the work and starting to lead programs, I realized that coaching was an industry and it's like,

really a lot about what you talk about doing what you love. I really am empowered to help people do what they love. And I realized I love personal development work. As I get older, I just feel lighter. And this work has helped me so much. And so I love working with clients and working with people across the country to help them design the lives they love. And a lot of it started from my own work around different

areas of like where I felt self-doubt, where I felt like I was hiding a lot. I never felt fully self-expressed. You know, my parents were a Romanian immigrant. So I came to the US really with parents that spoke a different language, had different customs, different way of life and always felt different. So I didn't feel fully self-expressed. And so I've done a lot of work over the years to connect to who I actually am and to stop

hiding and to stop pretending and stop people pleasing to really connect to my own empowerment and sense of self. And so as I do this work, I love sharing it with other people.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (04:41)
Now I've heard you mention before that for years you lived in this belief that there's something wrong with me. Take us back to that time, what did life look like when that belief was running the show?

Liora Sponko (04:51)
Thank you. Yes. And it always goes back to childhood for sure. Again, just being growing up in an immigrant family and my parents speaking a different language and friends would make fun of me and also parents that completely loved me but weren't available to really help me get to know myself.

I had the story that there's something wrong with me, that I'm not good enough. I always felt like I was hiding. I didn't really know how to talk to people. I felt like I was really shy. Although I know how much my parents loved me, like I said, they never really were there to help me understand who I am and have conversations with me. So I really felt alone growing up.

I was always really quiet and shy. And I think these stories, they kind of stick around for a while. So I've noticed how this there's something wrong with me story that I've carried my entire life, essentially. If I'm not really, you know, afraid to talk to people at a party or in social settings, or if I'm not really going for what I want and I'm

If I'm ever taking a job that's not really in my highest, it's like anytime we're holding ourselves back, I notice it's the story that holds us back. So I think the story originates in childhood, but it really stays with us our entire lives. And that's the work is to really see how this story is playing out and holding us back.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (06:28)
Absolutely. And this is why I always want to talk on the podcast about trauma. And I know it's probably a heavy word to use. And maybe a better word would be, you know, a pattern, the pattern was created in childhood. Because you don't necessarily have to have had a bad childhood, but something happened that creates a pattern. And that pattern does affect you as you, you know, go into adult life, like you say, holding yourself back, not pursuing what you want to pursue, because you're hiding. So that's

That's really, really powerful. So would you say that, so you've done all this transformational work over the, you know, over decades basically. And what would you say was your catalyst moment that started that journey where you realized I have to change something?

Liora Sponko (07:09)
Yeah. about 12 years ago, I did a transformational workshop, a three-day workshop, very intensive. Some folks may have heard of Landmark Worldwide and it's all day long for three days. And that was the catalyst that really helped me see the story I was creating. And in this three-day workshop,

Not only are you learning different distinctions of the story that's running your life, but they actually invite you to take action and call people and let them know, where have you been inauthentic in your life? What's the story? Where have you been hiding? And so I was able to really face a lot of the stuff that I've been carrying and complete relationships that were incomplete and own my side of the street.

And I think that taking responsibility is so powerful. It's so easy for us to want to be a victim, you know, stay in victim mindset and blame circumstances or people for why our lives aren't the way we want them to be. But when we take responsibility, it's so empowering. So through that workshop, actually owning my stuff, owning my story, calling people, apologizing for where

I haven't showed up for them and how I've been hiding was so empowering that it helped me connect to my empowered sense of self. And I continued doing more programs with Landmark and became a coach in a program and from then started my own coaching business and continued transformational work with other types of workshops and coaches and…

done all sorts. I know you're a fan of like so many different modalities. I've done all so many different modalities and now I've kept growing into energy work now that I'm an energy healer as well and also plant medicine work and all sorts of other traditions that have continued to help me grow and expand.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (09:13)
that I love all these different modalities and they can be so powerful in helping us to actually shift and to get unstuck and to heal. Maybe not heal but to change the patterns that we've you know we've adopted over the years.

So why do you think that midlife is such a powerful time for this kind of inner work?

Liora Sponko (09:30)
Absolutely.

Well, I love even the framing of your podcast, Midlife Awakening. So first of all, reframing, we're not in a crisis. Like it's okay. This is a powerful moment in our lives for us to grow. I just turned 50 a couple of weeks ago and I had it that I was like resisting. Like I don't want to be old.

I don't want to look old. I don't want my body to fail. All of the conversations in my head and the fears and the resistance about getting older. As I turned 50 a few weeks ago, I realized that as we got older, as I get older, I realize I feel lighter because I've been able to shed a lot of the stories and the energy and the thoughts that have hold me back in the past.

And that's amazing. So we have it that midlife is a bad thing, but what if we were to look at it in the context that you are bringing to the table of, wow, this is such an exciting, empowering moment that we can show up in our most full, authentic, empowered selves. Like we no longer have to hide or hold shame or be people pleasers or pretend. Like we can just own who we are.

And that's so freeing. And that's why I feel lighter because I don't have to carry the weight of the something wrong with me story. I can just show up and be myself and be more free. now I was just telling friends last night, like, I feel like this whole new chapter of my life is just starting with my coaching business thriving. And now I'm building more of my public speaking angle of my business and putting myself out there even more, which is such a breakthrough of that shy little girl that would

never wanted to be speaking in public and now wanting to share myself, it's like, wow, what an opportunity to break free from the patterns of the past. And that's why I think midlife is so exciting and empowering. And also, you know, in terms of women and our body image and hormones and all the things that we deal with in midlife,

if we have the right support, which is this community you're creating, I see Natura Pass and functional medicine doctors and make sure that I feel good and I'm taken care of, I actually feel like I'm almost in the best health I've ever been in and I'm working out every day once, sometimes twice a day. I feel more, I even feel more energized than I have in the past. So we have it at midlife like,

our bodies fail, but what if we just take such good care of ourselves that they want to thrive even more with us? So I think it's like we shift our perception that so much becomes possible.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (12:27)
Yeah, absolutely. And we shift our focus, don't we? I feel like there's, for me personally, there's this shift of going from worrying about everybody else. And I feel like there's a biological thing there with the estrogen, you know, because we are nurturers and caretakers and that's sort what the estrogen hormone does for us. And as that starts to reduce, it's sort of like the veil gets lowered and we can start seeing ourselves for the first time and start focusing in.

on ourselves as opposed to being worried about everybody else around us. But we have to accept that change. And when you don't, that's sort where the struggle comes in with midlife, I think. And it goes from being an awakening to a crisis. So it's just your perception, as you say, that needs to shift.

Liora Sponko (13:14)
I mean, what an opportunity in midlife to say, don't have to pretend anymore and I can fully be myself and I can do what I want to do and all those things I've been dreaming about, like now's the time and to take care of ourselves that we can feel good and have the energy to focus on what we to do in our lives.

It's such a gift and yes, it's definitely a shift in perception and you know, in having a community like this that you're not alone, you know, like we're all like trying to figure this out and we're all trying to grow and expand and having other models and mentors of like, how can you be in midlife and actually be your most abundant self?

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (14:06)
Absolutely, absolutely. And I think we live in a really an amazing time right now with all the information that we have at our fingertips and the connections that we can make, far and wide, that our mothers and our grandmothers didn't have when they went through this same phase. so yeah, it's really great that we have all of these opportunities around us and we need to really take advantage of that. And that's really why I wanted to create the community so that we can all come together and support each other and help each other.

and stop the resistance to the awakening and also have people that have come out on the other side and can say, know, if you embrace it, this is what's waiting for you on the other side. So don't resist it. So you work a lot with scarcity mindset, especially around money and purpose. So what is scarcity mindset really for those that are new to this concept?

Liora Sponko (14:59)
Yeah, I like to really simplify the work into scarcity mindset versus abundance mindset. And scarcity mindset is when we're in the not enough story, when we have it that there's something wrong with us, when we're in fear, self-doubt, our energy is low, complaining, hiding, know, anytime where I believe we're in lack mentality and we're not in our

true authentic selves. And that's all protection. It's all protection from the childhood wound that we're hiding and we're in victim mindset because we're comfortable and feel safe in that familiar pattern. And sometimes it's really scary to connect to our authentic empowered selves. ⁓

So I bundle all of that into scarcity mindset to really simplify it for people because that to me is to tune into when we are in scarcity mindset, which I can, I get there all the time. It's like, it's a great human, you know, it's so human. Like yesterday I was crying and, but I was aware of it. I was like, ⁓ okay. I'm just in a funk. I'm noticing this not enough story, like feeling abandoned and excluded and

And I was able just to be with it and see it and not make it wrong. So it's like to really embrace that younger part of ourselves that's just wanting to heal. And so I believe scarcity mindset isn't bad or wrong. It's pointing to where we want to be healed. It's pointing to how we get to grow. And just to be aware of when our energy is low or we're in a funk or we're

complaining about something or blaming. It's like, what's underneath that? Like, where are we doubting ourselves? Where's that childhood wound showing up? And it's such great information to just be with it. And that's, I've created a process I call the internal work framework of like just really being aware of the scarcity, being aware of the not enough story.

loving that part. Can you actually welcome that part? It's like, I see you and there's nothing wrong. And when I think when we do that and even when we go through emotion and let emotion and energy move through us and having that somatic piece too helps us just release. And I had a cry yesterday and of course it's uncomfortable. Like we don't want to be there.

But when we can like not resist it, because what we resist persists and we can just open up to it and release it. I felt so much better. And I went out last night dancing with friends and it was like I was back in abundance mindset and I was back in abundance energy and I was able to connect with people and dance and celebrate. And I had worked with my stuff so I was able to show up for myself and show up for people.

in such an abundant way and I noticed that when I'm in abundant energy, I can feel it and I can feel people are attracted to wanting to talk to me and people sharing like what they were dealing with. And I was available because I cleaned and cleared my stuff earlier that day. So I was available just to talk to people, see how they're doing and to help people.

and to connect and dance and share good energy. And so I really saw in one day the stark difference of scarcity and abundance and how it works together. And when we're in abundance energy, it's so much fun. And it's like, that's where we all want to manifest the lives that we love. Because we manifest not just from our thoughts,

people sometimes think like, I'm gonna envision what I want and I'll try to get that. And I believe we manifest who we are and how we show up and our thoughts, but also our emotion and our energy. And so if we can show up with abundance, I've always noticed when I show up in the abundance, things just like show up back, cause like attracts like and that energy that we put out.

and the being of service and showing up as loving, like that just comes right back and we end up actually just manifesting and designing and creating the lives that we love.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (19:44)
Absolutely. Absolutely. agree 100 % with that. Like I've noticed. So I've always loved dance. ⁓ And I recently reconnected with it and I go for salsa classes on a Wednesday night, which I, it is my favorite thing to do in the week. I look forward to it and I have the most fun. And when I come out, it really, that feeling lasts for about a day or two. And I notice people are more receptive to me.

Liora Sponko (19:50)
Hmm.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (20:13)
Things start shifting for me like I always have good things happening to me like a day or two after it like Wednesday like Thursday and Friday are good days for me because I have things like Just open up for me and I really feel it's because I'm shifting into that receiving an abundant mindset and energy So yeah hundred percent agree with you that that makes it or it's not just about doing a vision board. It's about Embodying the feeling behind it. Yeah

Liora Sponko (20:39)
I love that. And yes, dance is so great because that's, it's energy moving and then that energy, our energy connects to other energy and we're all kind of sharing this together. So dance and movement is so important because then it kind of lights us up and then we can give and receive with others. So I love it. I love, and that's, I love that you love dancing because I think

That's just such a beautiful way to live in midlife, have a midlife awakening, to just go out and dance and have fun. whatever it is that lights you up. It could be dancing, it could be hiking and any type of creativity. Whatever lights you up, do more of that. That's the universe. the ping of

keep leaning towards what lights you up because that's the energy you want to connect to because we forget. we get stuck and we get in a funk. Again, there's nothing wrong with that and to work with it and to know that we're worthy of joy. We all deserve to have fun and laugh and be in joy.

to show up fully self-expressed. so, mean, it's so funny because like that shy little girl that I used to be is has so transformed because on the dance floor, like I'm dancing big and it's like kind of wild and it's like, okay. And I know that I'm like, here I am. I'm in like my fullest authentic self right now and it feels so good.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (22:16)
feel free. Yeah, yeah. And it's a form of expression. You know, if you if you enjoy dance, that's a form of self expression. So whatever you however you feel you express yourself like go and do that and have fun. Do more of that, you know, because when you get to midlife, you've been taking care of everybody else who really do deserve that.

Liora Sponko (22:18)
Yeah, exactly.

Right? Right.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (22:37)
Absolutely.

So you say you cried yesterday. just want to be is a form of release though, right? And it's actually really good. I know I tell my son all the time, you know, crying is good. And it's probably now he cries for everything. And when I said to him, do you really need to cry about this? And he's like, but mommy, you always say crying is really good. It's really good. I mean, just so people know, like when you're crying, that's a form of releasing whatever it is that you're

you're thinking about going through or processing, right?

Liora Sponko (23:10)
completely agree. Emotion is energy in motion.

and crying, even like any type of somatic movement, yawning, like it's energy moving. And I love that you encourage your son to cry because traditional gender roles, boys don't cry. And that energy can get stuck in us and it can come out sideways. It can come out.

It'll come out eventually, but not necessarily in a healthy way. And so I've realized like, like if I love crying actually, like I welcome it. It's not always the most fun thing, but I know that I feel better on the other side. I feel so much lighter. Like something has literally like moved, you know, the stuck energy has moved out of me and I feel so much clearer. And so

I think it's super courageous for people to allow themselves to cry and to be in a space where you feel safe. And so with a lot of my clients holding space for that emotion to come through and wherever you feel safe to allow that to happen is just so important, even though it's uncomfortable.

Again, we have it like something's wrong. We have it like, I shouldn't cry. That means something wrong is happening. It's like, no, actually it's perfect. You're clearing, you're healing, you're allowing the old patterns and the old stuckness to like move out of you and you feel so much more free and lighter on the other side.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (24:51)
That's amazing. That's some creative advice. So ladies, don't be scared to cry. So what is some like practical suggestions, tips or tricks that you can give the ladies out there to move from that scarcity mindset to abundance mindset? Now I know awareness is, it's such a powerful tool. I talk about it all the time. It is really such a powerful tool.

Liora Sponko (24:53)
Thank

I think that's the first step. And it's sometimes tricky in the moment to catch it. It's so easy for us to blame other people and circumstances for why we don't have the lives that we want or something wrong. even to even blame like menopause or to blame aging.

I get it. It's so valid to have this experience and the emotion. Everyone's experience is so valid. And what I always encourage is like, what's underneath? What's underneath? Look underneath that complaint. Look underneath that blame. What are you actually dealing with? What is that younger self saying? And so I do think it's helpful to work

with someone if you don't know what's underneath, just to start identifying that. And so, for example, yesterday in a minute, I was able to see, ⁓ my abandoned little girl is showing up. Where normally what would happen is we would blame other people of like why we're unhappy. But when we're pointing fingers, we're actually detracting, we're avoiding, we're not really facing.

what's really happening. anytime, like a clue is like if you're pointing the finger outward, if you can pause and say, okay, what actually is happening in here? And I get like whatever fight you're in, like it's valid and how you feel is valid, but like what is that younger self saying and feeling and is it familiar?

like my abandoned little girl is like, I'm like, there she is. And you can name it. I have clients that name this part of themselves because that's going to be the same part that keeps showing up. So the more you're familiar and acquainted with that younger part, the more you'll notice when she shows up. And she shows up quite often. And you'll just be like, there she is. Hi.

So, like really getting acquainted and if you're just starting this work, working with a coach or therapist or writing in your journal and just really getting acquainted of like, what's that younger wounded part, you know, that really feels like there's something wrong with her. And so when you get stuck in a funk, you'll see that it's not actually the circumstance or person on the outside. It's that younger self that's activated. And I think that's like the key.

is to look within and to catch it and then to notice her, to be with her, to remember there's nothing wrong that she's showing up and to love her and that she's here to help you heal and grow and what can you forgive. And I have this framework I can send to you that walks people through the steps of really like number one, unblocking the past is the first step through this awareness. And then

The next step is to reprogram the present, like to say, you know what, that's that younger past and I want to show up differently and I'm going to forgive and heal and I choose to show up differently and to break these patterns happens from regular consistent practice. Anytime that younger part shows up to work with her. It doesn't happen overnight, but

The more we do it, the more we create like new neural pathways to show up differently. I mean, I'll tell you, my friends are like, you're different than you were a couple of years ago. And so it's like, we might not notice it day to day, but you'll notice it over time. this regular, I think it's a daily practice of noticing where our mindset is, where our energy is, working with her so we can reprogram.

and become a different person and to embody the future is the third step of like, what's the energy that we want to show up in and how can we be in abundance energy regularly? And so it's just like beautiful process of clearing the past, reprogramming the present and embodying this like future abundant energy of how we want to show up. Because when we show up that way, we actually

will attract what we want. So it's less focused on what do I want. It's like, how do I want to feel? And what's the energy I want to feel? And if I feel good, I actually will have what I want. It's like who we're being is so important to what we have. so really, just to really focus on this internal work and the energy of how we want to be in the world because

Really the most like resonant person isn't necessarily the most person that has the most money, the most social status. The most resonant person is the most loving, the most present, the most available person in the room. So it's like, how do we, what do we need to clear so we can show up our most loving, authentic selves?

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (30:32)
I love that. That's really good. It reminds me of ⁓ a quote that I heard once where it was something along the lines of, so without is within. So whatever is on the outside of you is a representation of what's going on inside you. So if you want to change the outside, you have to begin with the inside and then it sort of reflects out, right?

Liora Sponko (30:41)
Hmm.

I love that. You're right. It's like the world is just a mirror of ourselves. It's just mirroring where we're at. And so if you don't like it, and again, it's like, what's inside of you that is there and that is stuck? And the thing is like, this life is about evolution and change.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (30:58)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Liora Sponko (31:21)
We're never stuck. My teacher says like, this is the universe of infinite second chances. Like we don't have to be the same way we've been. And if we're dealing with something like we have the opportunity to resolve and to grow and to heal relationships. Like I had some broken friendships recently, some like conflict and it was really hard. But I realized like,

it doesn't have to stay this way. And I've healed these friendships that I love so much because I realized like I can grow and I can heal. I don't have to be stuck with the way things are. And so yeah, it's like if there's something you're not happy with, like what is there inside that you get to clean up and that you get to heal so that you can actually like

see life differently and create the life you love. The thing is we just get to do our own work, which it's so empowering. We don't have to actually change anything out there. It's actually, when you look at it this way, wow, it's really empowering that we can take responsibility for our own lives. And that's all it takes. It's actually so much simpler than we think it is.

so empowering to know that it's all available if we want to do the work.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (32:49)
Absolutely. It's just changing that perspective again. I love talking about self-love on the show because it's such an important piece and it's something that I've come to late in life. How do you, from your perspective, how do you build consistent self-love practices?

Liora Sponko (33:07)
Yeah, it's such a self-love that is the key. And I completely understand like, what does that mean? Because everybody talks about self-love, love yourself first before you can be in a loving relationship. And it can be very confusing. Like, what does that mean, self-love? Because on one hand, it's like, yes, we want to like take bubble baths and have massages and have facials. is that self-love?

Well, sure, like that's beautiful to like take care of yourself. But I think the essence of self love is like how we talk to ourselves.

because our mind is so chattery. Don't believe what you think. Our mind can literally take us in a million directions and it's very confusing. And so it's like we have to be aware that our mind is very chatty and doesn't mean it's true. And can we talk to ourselves differently?

A lot of us have body image issues, right? Like, let's be honest, I have my entire life. And I know I'm supposed to, look in the mirror and shift that conversation, which is hard because like we're always looking at what's wrong. I'm too fat here. I'm sagging over here, all this wrongness. And it's noticing

do we talk to ourselves? How do we view ourselves? And it's really confronting. And how do we start shifting the way we talk to our own selves? We would never talk to our friends the way we talk to ourselves. So I think that the self-love practice is

What is unique about you And I realized, my gosh, I'm really empathetic and I'm sensitive and I love people and I really have good intentions. And how can I just keep leaning into what I love about myself and really lean into our strengths and

and like how we can be of service to people and it's just shifting that perception of our own selves. And from then, like when we feel good about ourselves, that's when we're going to take care of ourselves. So I noticed that when I am good and on my own mindset, that's what has me go to the gym and exercise every day. Like now I can't not. I used to never go to the gym at all.

And it's the past few years, the more I love myself, the more I want to take care of my body and going to yoga and meditation and all the things It's because I've said yes to me. So I do think self-love is like the internal work first and then it starts like rippling out.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (35:57)
Yeah, it's a ripple effect. That's what I was thinking. Same thing. Yeah, it's a ripple effect. It touches all areas of your life. Would you say, like doing a gratitude practice is a good place to start? Because I found that I am, so I'm currently studying a coaching course, somatic trauma-informed coaching course. And one of the assignments was to do a 21 day gratitude practice. And the first like two weeks I was like, but then I started to notice the shift and now I cannot not do it. It's like.

Liora Sponko (36:08)
Yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (36:28)
I have to do it and it has created such a shift for me in terms of appreciating everything in my life and myself.

Liora Sponko (36:40)
⁓ I love that. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm so glad it's such a simple tool, but what a big impact it sounds like that's had on your life. Do you feel like that gratitude practice has impacted your day?

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (36:56)
absolutely, absolutely. So I mean, I don't do it in the morning. I tried doing it in the morning and it just didn't work. I've got two small kids and it's just chaos in the morning. And I can't wake up early enough because my oldest is an early bird. If I tell you this child used to wake up at three o'clock in the morning until he started school and now he sleeps till five. So that's a treat. So I found that doing it in the evening just before bed.

Liora Sponko (37:14)
my god.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (37:20)
and just doing three, because I didn't want to overcomplicate it. I know some people say do ten, some people say do five. I thought to myself, you know what? Three works for me. That's what I can... And then I'll find myself now going through the day going, I think I'll write about that tonight. I think I'll write about that tonight. I think... And then I find myself, I've written the three and then I take a moment. I take it in. I read them. I read each one out loud and I say thank you. And I get to the end and then I'm like, actually...

In my mind I'm like, I actually want to be grateful for this and I want to be grateful for that and this also happened today. So it ends up being more than three, but I don't overwhelm myself. I just say three. And if I miss a day or two, I don't beat myself up. just say, we'll keep going. More than three, then I stop. But I haven't gotten more than two days not doing it because I'm like, I don't want to stop. I have to do it today because today's day two and I have to do it today. So.

I think that's worked for me. I've just found you have to find how it works in your schedule, in your own schedule, in your own life.

Liora Sponko (38:27)
Yes, absolutely. I completely agree. Yes, I love that works for you. yes, I also have a daily gratitude practice. I used to write it down as well every day. I think it's such a great tool. What I do is when I wake up before I put my feet down, you know, get out of my bed, I check in on my mindset and I see where am I. And if I'm not in abundance or gratitude or love,

I work with that. And so I think having a regular gratitude practice is so helpful because it helps us navigate to like where we want to go, you know, because often we will wake up in a funk or I don't want to go to work. And we're like basically living in Groundhog's Day. Ninety-five percent of our thoughts are subconscious thoughts from the past. And so we're just like,

in Groundhog Day every day. So I think that gratitude practice or like for me that check-in in the morning, it's like we're interrupting the pattern. We're interrupting that pattern of subconscious loops and it's like I'm choosing to think differently. And the fact that you have this consistent practice is helping to reprogram your brain so that that will become more accessible to you. Like it's like learning a language. This mindset work is like

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (39:27)
Okay.

Liora Sponko (39:48)
I talk about it as like building fluency. It's like it feels hard at first, but it looks like the more you do it, the easier it is and the more fluent you become in gratitude and being in abundance. So yes, daily gratitude practice, could be like you said, whenever works for you. I often do it when I'm on a walk. like I'll notice my mind is like going some spiral and it's like I'll catch it and try to shift it.

into what I'm grateful for. And sometimes before I go to bed, I'll think about, similar to you, I'll think about what's that magic moment in the day? Like what happened today that was really special? And there's always something and it could be a little thing too. So absolutely, it's all about like shifting our mindset from scarcity to abundance and gratitude is such an accessible way. Gratitude and appreciation.

Like, what do you appreciate and who do you appreciate? You know, I have a friend that every day will send a text to someone and just let them know they appreciate them really authentically. And it's like any time we can get into like our heart, basically what we're doing is moving from our swirling thoughts to our heart, to our authentic selves and appreciating people and being grateful for who we are and grateful for what we have.

That's the authentic place. And as we continue to connect to that, that keeps growing. So I think it's a beautiful practice.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (41:22)
Yeah, it is. It's really, really great. I think it's underrated.

And some people might think it's just like, I don't have the time for that. It's too complicated. Just find what works for you. There's no, I don't think there's right or wrong. Just find what works for you. And even if you don't write it down, like you say, if you're doing a morning walk, just, you know, do it then. We all have gaps in the day where we can find, you know, a chance to do it.

Liora Sponko (41:44)
Yeah,

like to be in awe. I was walking last night home and I was looking at the stars and I think a lot of the planets were lining up and it's like that moment of like, oh my gosh, that's so beautiful. Like even that, like to be in awe and wonder and like, wow, it's just a beautiful moment right now. Like that's empowering to just to like appreciate the beauty all around us.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (42:14)
Absolutely. when we do circling back to emotional healing and healing, doing all this work that we tend to start doing in midlife hopefully. So often you've had this big emotional breakthrough. How does intention setting and integration help us after?

Liora Sponko (42:31)
Mmm.

Yeah, I think that's a big, big part of the work and a lot of the coaching I do, especially if someone's experiencing a big transformational experience, whether it could be a big loss in your life, it could be a divorce, it could be a new relationship, it could be a ceremony or retreat, these big moments.

that change our lives are so important to who we are and how we show up in our lives. And there's such big learning opportunities. And so I it's important to have time to integrate those experiences, to come back and take just time for ourselves.

It's easy to just jump back into life and our patterns and our day to day, I'm a big fan of journaling too because it's an opportunity just to get to know ourselves better. It's like, what's happening? What am I dealing with? What am I learning? You know, and to work with a coach or a therapist or anyone of support of like,

What's, how do I want to grow? And oftentimes these experiences are opportunities to choose things differently. So what I've learned is after these big transformational moments, maybe I want to wear a different life suit. we come back and maybe this relationship isn't the right fit. Maybe my, this, friendship isn't the right fit.

we don't have to do things the same, you know, and to take that time of like, what part of you is growing and strengthening that, that maybe you need something else in your life right now. And so to allow what I've learned a lot in my own integration and coaches have told me, it's like, just try something different and just see how that feels because that's how, that's like our

brain and elasticity. It wants to grow from doing things differently. And so to allow yourself you don't have to just be in the pattern of day in, day out, especially in midlife, right? this is the opportunity, do I want to try something different and explore some new friendships and explore some new hobbies and explore the creativity and to share myself in a new way.

to give ourselves that permission slip and that space to do what we actually love. And so I think that integration, it happens over time. And also what I've noticed with big transformational experiences, we also experience contraction. We can close off because a lot has happened. And so it can be important just to take really good care of ourselves.

and allow whatever wants to move through to move through, knowing that on the other side, we're going to show up differently. In any breakdown, there's a breakthrough. In any big experience, there's going to be growth. so allowing that process to unfold and trusting that process and not forcing it, but just it's like co-creation with the universe and having faith like, you're going to come out even stronger on the other side.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (46:00)
Absolutely. And that's what it is all at the end of the day is just that growth. Right. And this is such an important period for that growth because you've got everything supporting you. I know I've had lots of synchronicities directing me to what I need to do next. And it comes back to that awareness of being aware that this is what I'm being shown and trusting that.

Liora Sponko (46:12)
and

Mm-hmm.

love that the synchronicities that's so key, you know, those pings from the universe. It's like, and it takes some keen listening, because if we're in our heads and in our patterns and in our spiral and day to day, we can't even hear it. And as we clear that, and we can listen to those pings, there's actually like, the universe is like, giving us breadcrumbs, like here, you're on the right track, like, you know, yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (46:50)
I

had the word breadcrumbs in my head.

Liora Sponko (46:54)
There you go. Right. We're like, we're in alignment. you're exactly where you need to be right now. But it takes something. was like, just sitting with my friend last night and he was asking that question. he's like, I'm dealing with a difficult decision right now. And we were talking about that. how to tell the difference between your thoughts and your intuition and your heart, you know, and it takes discernment.

You know, because our thoughts is like the fear and the questions and the self-doubt is like can swirl, but our heart like knows and it takes something to listen to that internal compass that wants to guide us and the universe gives us these pings of things just like showing up in your life and different downloads that show up and it takes something, but like the more we strengthen that connection, the more we have trust and faith in the universe and that we're always

taken care of. Could you imagine anything that happens is happening exactly as it should and we're completely taken care of? We have no idea what the universe has planned for us. Even the hard stuff is there to help us grow, to really take on that faith and certainty can be so actually relieving.

We're just so supported.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (48:15)
I think it's hard for us as women in midlife because we've spent a lot of time, a lot of our lives being in our masculine energy, which is make decisions, think about things logically, take the reins. You have to manage the household, you have to manage the kids, you have to manage this, that, the next thing. And you have to be in a masculine energy to survive and to be able to get through your day. But it really does distort your feminine energy and stops that from coming in.

And I always like to think of the difference between my thoughts and my heart. My thoughts are like the character anxiety from Inside Out 2, the cartoon, the animation. When I watched that, I was like, ⁓ my God, that's my thoughts right there.

Liora Sponko (48:49)
Yes. Yes. It's so good. So

good. Yeah.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (48:58)
Whereas my

intuition I found is much calmer, a lot quieter. And so in those moments I have to, I mean, I don't have it 100 % down, but I do try and, but it is hard to try and discern, especially when you've been living in that masculine energy for so long and you still have to live in it to try and find those, you know, those opportunities to sort of lean more into your feminine and to strengthen that intuition.

Liora Sponko (49:24)
my gosh, that's so good. Exactly. My practice to connect intuition is like clear the thoughts first, clear the scarcity, clear, like really be like, what am I dealing with? What's the fear? What's the doubt? Because as you do that, there's more space to connect to your intuition, to connect to your heart. It becomes...

a lot more clear. I noticed I was exploring an opportunity years ago and a job opportunity and I was like, should I pursue this job opportunity or not? When I realized the reason I wanted the job opportunity was ego, right? You're saying that masculine,

⁓ I want to be the head of this organization and I want to look good and be validated. That's that masculine ego trying to prove ourselves. I was able to see that's why I had wanted to have that job. But when I was like, ⁓ I don't need external love and validation to be valid and whole and loved. I don't need to prove myself. I realized like,

yeah, the feminine and being in the heart is like, no, I don't want that opportunity. I actually just want to be in my heart and be in joy and have this other type of lifestyle. And so it's really noticing where does masculine come in? Where does the ego come in? Where am I trying to prove myself to get validated? And as we see that and clear that, what we truly want

just becomes more clear.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (51:10)
Absolutely, I love that example. That's such a really good example of the difference between the two. So what's the one thing that you want every listener to remember after today?

Liora Sponko (51:24)
that there's nothing wrong. know, like there's nothing wrong with being in midlife. There's nothing wrong with whatever you're dealing with. There's nothing wrong with the not enough story that's showing up, that everything that's showing up is actually here to help you heal and expand and that you're fully loved and supported.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (51:50)
That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And I think that summarized everything that we've talked about today. So this is a question I ask all my guests at the end. What would you tell your younger self if you had the opportunity?

Liora Sponko (52:06)
Yeah, it's a-

that like you're exactly.

perfect exactly how you are with all the doubts and fears and all the

all the stuff that you're dealing with, it's like that you're so loved and that things are gonna work out more than you can even have imagined. So just to know that you're loved.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (52:42)
beautiful. Oh, that's a really beautiful message. So now where can people connect with you if they want to work with you? This is your opportunity to talk about your work and what you're offering our listeners today.

Liora Sponko (52:55)
Thank you. So my website is leorisponko.com and that's also my Instagram, leorisponko. And yeah, if anyone's interested in exploring coaching with me, they can contact me through my website and we can have a free breakthrough session. And so I can have a conversation to hear like what folks are dealing with and

how coaching can help them. And also on my website, folks can get my internal work framework, which is my guide of how to move from scarcity to abundance. And so that's a free resource on my website as well.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (53:39)
Amazing, thank you, that's so generous. So I will leave all the links in the show notes if anybody's interested and would like to get in touch with Leora. Leora, thank you so much for joining me on today's show. It's been an absolute pleasure talking to you today and I think we've had a great conversation.

Liora Sponko (53:55)
Yeah, thanks so much. What an inspiring conversation and sounds like we have a lot alike and a lot aligned and it's just been so great connecting with you. Thank you.

Odilia|The Midlife Awakening (54:06)
Thank you so much.

The Midlife Awakening (54:24)
if there's one thing I hope you're taking away from this episode, it's this. That story that's quietly running in the background, the one that says, There's something wrong with me, it's not the truth. It's a pattern. It's how you've been protecting yourself. And as Liora so beautifully put it, it's actually pointing you to where you are ready to heal.

We talked about so much today. The subconscious loops that keep us living the same groundhog day over and over, the power of that midlife moment to finally say I don't have to hide anymore. How moving from scarcity to abundance isn't about positive thinking, but about going deep and doing the deep inner work to clear what's underneath.

And I loved her three-step internal work framework. Unblock the past, reprogram the present, embody the future. It's so simple but so profound. If any of this resonated with you and you're ready to go deeper with Liora, head to Leorasponco.com to download her free internal work framework, which is her guide to moving from scarcity to abundance. I know that I'm definitely going to be giving it a try because I need help in that area.

And if you're curious about working with her one-on-one, you can book a free breakthrough call with her through her website. Now you can also find her on Instagram at Leora Spongo and on Facebook at Leora Motivates. All the links will be down in the show notes. You know where to go. And if you're enjoying what we're creating here on the Midlife Awakening, I would love to see you over in our community. Come and join us in the Midlife Awakening Facebook group. It's a space for women just like you.

you who are in the middle of this journey asking the big questions and doing the real work together. The link to join is again in the show notes. And if you prefer to go a little deeper in your own time, I do a lot of writing over at Substack.

These are longer reflections, insights between episodes, and the kind of things I don't always get to say in the show itself. You can find the link to subscribe in the show notes. Now if this episode landed for you, please share it with a woman in your life who is in the middle of her own awakening, whether she calls it that or not. Because sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is simply pass the right words to the right person at the right time. Now until next time, take care of your heart and remember.

It's never too late to begin again. Bye for now.