Heal with Grace

47. Finding Your Inner Anchor: How to Feel Safe in Your Own Body

• Grace Secker • Episode 47

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In this episode of the Heal with Grace podcast, hosted by Grace Secker, listeners explore the essential practice of establishing an inner resource to find safety within their nervous systems. Grace discusses the importance of this practice in managing stress, chronic pain, and difficult emotions by creating a space of inner calm and grounding. The episode features a guided meditation designed to help listeners connect with their own inner resource, offering practical steps to build resilience and ease in the face of life's challenges. Grace also introduces a Q&A segment for future episodes and invites listeners to submit their questions.


Episode 24: How to create your own Authentic message of safety with Vanessa Blackstone

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Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the heal with grace podcast. I'm Grace Secker, your host, and here to help you explore the powerful connection between the mind, body, and spirit on your healing journey. Today, we're going to dive into a practice that's not just important, it's completely essential. It is essential to you establishing that connection between your mind and body, which really means finding safety in your nervous system, finding safety in your body.

And I'm going to link an episode below that talks about that, that I had with Vanessa Blackstone. so you can get a good idea of what establishing safety feels like, or really what that means. But today we're going to go a little bit more into this and helping you establish your inner resource. That's what we're going to call it, your inner resource within your body and your nervous system.

It's a way of establishing safety and so we're going to talk about what exactly is this and really, It's something that we can all access. It's a place of comfort, safety that you can turn to within yourself, especially during challenging moments. Think of it as an internal anchor, like a grounding spot you can return to, to soothe and regulate your nervous system, no matter what's going on around you.

This is so important because we can't control life. We can't control things outside of us. Right. But what we want to work on is helping ourselves manage the reaction that we have to things outside of us. We can't change what someone else says or how they might call us a name or how they might react to something that we did or didn't do or some, or someone else.

We can't change how, an environment might be filled with toxins in the air. We can't change all of these things. Right. But we can help our nervous system not react to them in a scarcity or danger way. If you've been listening to this, or even if you're new to this podcast, you know that I really help you focus on understanding the mind and body connection.

And I focus on helping people heal through chronic illness and chronic pain and anxiety and things like that. And so I'll give you tips and tricks to help you regulate your nervous system and retrain your brain. But really the whole point of all of this, and really what I'm getting to on this podcast is.

To help you understand yourself better, because when we can help understand our true nature, our soul, our authenticity, and be okay with it and actually really live through it and buy it, then our brain and our nervous systems don't have to protect us from what we think. they think is dangerous, which is really our true emotions and our true desires.

So when we can hone in on truly what makes our nervous system feel safe, what is that warm place in our bodies, that safe place in our mind, that grounding place in the root of our spine and our feet and our bodies, then we can feel safe anywhere. So I really want to help you with this. And part of understanding ourselves is also just learning about all of this, right?

so I've spent a lot of time on this podcast teaching and sharing and, you know, giving you insights, which is what a podcast is about. And I absolutely love it.if you love it too, please keep listening and share it with someone you think that Could benefit from it because what I'm actually going to start doing is answering questions.

I want to know, what do you want to understand? What do you want to learn about? What, what questions do you have? You know, I can teach and tell you things, but, I want to make sure that I'm helping you and helping you understand what's going on. So I'm going to link below a page to my website. Where you can submit questions and I'm going to have Q and a episodes where I will read different questions and answer them and maybe I'll, I'll have a special guest come on and answer if it's a specific subject.

and we'll just kind of take it from there. I'm going to see how it goes, but I love doing this and I love answering questions. So I thought this was a great idea. So please find the link below, submit your question and stay tuned for when I have Q and a episodes. All right, let's get started. Get cozy, and let's find out what your inner resource is.

Okay, let's talk about why this matters. Why do we need to find safety in our bodies and understand what our inner resource is? When we're facing stress, chronic pain, or difficult emotions, our nervous system can easily become overwhelmed. Basically taking us out of our, what we call, window of tolerance.

And what happens is, when we are in times of stress, and stress could be literally anything from, your partner answering a text and it seems rude, to a huge trauma, right? Our nervous systems don't really know the difference, because when we have a very small window of tolerance, Literally, it doesn't have tolerance for these things.

So when we're establishing safety in our bodies, we're expanding that window of tolerance. And when you have a small window, you might notice signs like shallow breathing, erasing heart, feeling disconnected from your body. any kind of chronic symptoms, mental symptoms, physical symptoms. And in those moments, it's easy to feel swept up in the chaos or frustration.

Like there's nowhere safe to turn. It's like, usually you are thinking so much into the future. You're fearful of what's going to happen. How's your body going to feel? How are you going to manage the stressor that's coming up? Or you're thinking in the past, what happened? What goes wrong? How stupid was I?

you're criticizing yourself or someone else. And we're not actually present with how our body feels. We're not actually present with what's in front of us with our mind. That's where an inner resource can be life changing. It's like giving yourself a home base, a space of stability and calm that you can turn to when things feel uncertain.

For some, this may feel like a warm memory, A loved one, or even a soothing sensation within the body, like the rise and fall of your breath. This inner resource not only helps you reconnect to a place of calm, but also builds resilience over time. You're essentially training your nervous system to remember what it feels like to be safe and grounded, no matter what life throws at you.

The beautiful part is that this is a skill that you can develop. It may not happen overnight, but with practice, you can teach your body and mind to recognize this as a resource, as a reliable place to return to. It helps you slowly retrain your nervous system, moving it away from cycles of stress towards states of ease.

Think of it like this. Like if you have a person in your life, maybe it's a partner, family member, friend, pet, maybe it's a home, your bed, something that you always feel at home in or with. And when you're away from and you're really stressed, you're going through a hard time, all you want is to be in that space.

All you want to. Is to be with that person because it feels like home. What we want you to do is help you establish that place within yourself. Now, I'm not saying that people and places can't be your home. Totally. Completely. I actually say that I have multiple homes around the world because I, I, have been a nomad a little bit, and I love to travel, and there are places that just feel like home in my nervous system.

I may not have an actual house or home there. I just love the place, and I know that I can always feel safe and grounded there.but when we're learning how to connect deeper with ourselves, We have to learn how to do that anytime, anywhere, and that usually means going internal, having a felt sense of safety in your life, really in your body.

So how do you begin to do this? In just a moment, I'll guide you through a short inner resource meditation to help you connect with your own sense of safety and calm. So I do highly recommend saving this, so that you can always come back to it. Or, you know, if you're not able to listen to that right now, if you're driving or walking or whatever, it's totally fine.

Just honestly, I would suggest you just listening to it, even if you can't actually, you know, close your eyes and go internal, just listen and, and see if you can even kind of imagine what that might be like for you. There's really no right or wrong way to experience it. Whatever feels grounding, comfortable, or safe to you is exactly what you need.

It's a space that's here to support you, no matter where you are in your healing journey. And so for some examples, You know, when to use this is when you're feeling really anxious about something at work, when you're feeling anxious or fearful about a symptom coming on, and you don't know what's going to happen, or maybe you're going through a breakup,or you're having a difficult, issue in your relationship, and.

It's leaving you like constantly thinking about it and swarming in your mind and feeling grief and sadness. And usually when that happens, we're just not super present with ourselves. And you know, we need to be able to understand how to feel that safety in our nervous system. And so when things are chaotic, always know you can come back to yourself, come home to yourself.

That's what I want for you. And that's honestly, that's what I work on all the time. It's a practice. It's totally a practice, but you get better at it. Totally get better at it. Okay. So if it's available to you, go ahead and get comfortable. And if it's safe to do so, , I invite you to find a seat or a lying down position,

close your eyes if it feels good to you, or just soften your gaze.

The whole point of this practice is to help you visualize and feel a space of safety. And so when I say access your inner resource, I want you to imagine a place, a feeling, a person, a pet, and a space. That feels warm, that feels safe, that feels good. It could be something in your imagination. It doesn't have to be real.

It could be a place on a beach or in a mountain. Maybe it's a place you've been before, or maybe it's a place you've seen a picture of. Somewhere that you can feel present. And safe and warm, and maybe it's a bright light that you feel coming into your body. So have this start to start to kind of think about and feel into what that place might be for you.

And I want you to connect with that throughout this practice. 

This is the practice of an inner resource meditation to get you in touch with what your inner resource is for you.

Sit or lay down in a comfortable position with your eyes gently open or closed. Allow your senses to open to the sounds around you. The sensation of your body touching the surface that's supporting you. Sensations in your jaw, ears, eyes, forehead, and scalp, the back of your neck and shoulders,

open to the relaxed heaviness of your arms and hands, the gentle rise and release of your abdomen with each breath. The sensations in your hips, legs, feet, the sensation of your entire body without thinking, just being with the sensation of your body.

Now bring your attention to your inner resource that you've identified.

Allow your inner resource to emerge as a felt sense within your body, sensing feelings that you associate with being secure and at ease and a felt sense of well being. Notice in your body where and how you feel sensations of well being.

Notice the words you would use to describe what you're sensing. Take your time.

Experience your inner resource of ease and well being and the words that describe what and how you're feeling. Allow your entire body to experience your inner resource of ease and well being.

Affirm to yourself that you can return to this place of well being at any time during your day and life.

Whenever you feel the need to feel secure, calm, and at ease, and the feeling of well being, know that you can return to this place.

Take your time being with the feeling of well being for as long as you wish.

When it feels alright, allow your eyes to open and close several times, while also maintaining the felt sense of your inner resource of ease and well being.

And as you're ready to return to your eyes open waking state of consciousness, allow Allow your eyes to remain open while continuing to feel your inner resource. Allow your body to stretch and move about as you continue to welcome feeling secure, at ease, and the sense of well being.

Affirm to yourself that you can return to your inner resource at a moment's notice. Anytime you experience the need to feel secure and at ease. Anytime you need to experience your inner felt sense of well being.

okay. Welcome back. I want you to take a moment to notice how you feel. Maybe write down what came up for you. Really solidify what that feeling of safety of that inner resource that you felt.

Were you able to connect with a sense of calm or warmth? Or was it actually really hard to, was your mind racing all the time? And you were thinking about how you're not doing it right, or you're not doing it correctly. Either way, whatever your experience was, it's okay. Sometimes it can be harder to get into this than others.

So if you had a difficult experience, please do not write it off, come back to it and try it again. It's a practice. And if you did feel like you were able to establish a presence, a state, a state of safety or groundedness, I encourage you to come back to this practice. Over and over again, especially whenever you need it, but actually I would do it even more than you feel like you need it just so it's always that first thing that you learn to go to developing this inner resource takes time, you know, it just it really does.

But each time you connect with it, you're strengthening your capacity to handle life's challenges with a bit more ease and a bit more grace. You're learning to tell yourself. I'm safe. My body's safe. I actually want to be in my own presence and I'm guessing if you're here that hasn't really always been your experience.

I know it wasn't mine, man I've spent many years not wanting to be in my body and not wanting to be me at all. And so It can be difficult to do this, just depending on where you are in your journey. Just remember, again, I'm going to say it again, it's a practice.

The more you do this, the more it signals to your brain that you're okay and that your brain doesn't need to send danger signals to your body. And so when it stops sending danger signals to your body, your body doesn't need to react to whatever it normally reacts to, whether that's food, the environment, or exercise, or anything, whether you have pain, illness, whatever symptoms you have, the more we have inner resource, the more we have groundedness, the more we have safety, the less we need to react.

Thank yourself for listening to this, and thank you so much for joining me today. Remember that your inner resource is always here, and it's just waiting for you to tap into it. And maybe you even have a couple different resources, right? A couple different places where you feel safe. Mine, I will tell you, I have a few, but a lot of times it's in nature.

I picture myself sitting in the middle of a forest or by a lake because it's so peaceful and grounding to me and it's actually a very spiritual place.but then there's other times where I know I feel really safe with a certain person that I trust and that can be a, and a resource as well. That visualization.

So just keep practicing, find those inner resources, that sense of support that will grow stronger and become a natural part of your life. If today's practice resonated with you, remember to save it, to download it. And please feel free to share this episode or leave a comment and subscribe, because I'd really love to hear about your experience, especially if this is new for you.

and if you're looking for more support, you can find more resources in the show notes and reach out, ask a question that I can answer on here. Or if you're looking for that deeper one to one support, where I Myself or another therapist on my team can lead you through these practices more often and help you really establish the safety so you can truly, truly move on with your life and stop experiencing so many symptoms.

Find the link below to apply for therapy or coaching. It is. Man, I cannot tell you the, the gratefulness, the like incredible things that I see with my clients. I am just so proud to be able to support people in this way and see them make progress. I love this work. I do. I hope that, I hope you know that, as I talk to you every week about it all.

So I only bring people on, other therapists on, who feel the same way about this work as me. We love what we do. We love helping. So apply to work with us one on one. We have availability and I hope that you take this and it brings you peace. And until next time, I'm Grace Ecker and this is Heal with Grace.

Thank you for letting me be a part of your healing journey.