The Thriving Mindset: Evidence-Based Happiness with Dr. Wendy O'Connor. (Epi. #257)

Designing a Life That Feels Worth Living

Moving Beyond Autopilot with Dr. Wendy O’Connor

Omni Mindfulness Podcast — Episode #257

You can be successful, capable, and high-functioning — and still feel quietly unfulfilled.

In this episode, Shilpa is joined by Dr. Wendy O’Connor, Stanford-trained positive psychologist and success coach for women entrepreneurs, to explore what positive psychology calls languishing — that in-between state where life works… but doesn’t feel meaningful.

This conversation invites listeners to question inherited definitions of success, recognize the cost of living on autopilot, and begin designing a life aligned with what truly matters — without burning everything down.

In This Episode, We Explore:

• What languishing is — and why it’s not failure
• How high achievers get stuck living by default instead of design
• The difference between stress reduction and fulfillment
• Why awareness is the first step toward meaningful change
• How to move off autopilot with intention and compassion

A Question to Reflect On:

Where in your life are things working — but not feeling meaningful?

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Transcript

[00:00:00] shilpa: Here's something we don't talk about enough. You can be successful, disciplined, and highly functional, and still feel deeply unfulfilled. Not because something is wrong with you, but because you've been living inside a definition of success who never consciously chose. That space where life works but doesn't feel meaningful is what positive psychology calls languishing.

[00:00:35] shilpa: It's not depression, it's not failure, it's a signal and noticing it is the beginning of intentional living.

[00:00:49] shilpa: Welcome to the Omni Mindfulness Podcast. I'm Shilpa, and this is where we explore what it actually means to live fully, not just [00:01:00] productively. In today's conversation, I'm joined by Dr. Wendy O'Connor, a Stanford trained positive psychologist and success coach for female entrepreneurs after years of helping women manage anxiety and depression.

[00:01:16] shilpa: Wendy realized the deeper work wasn't just reducing suffering, it was helping people design lives that feel worth living. You'll hear how many high achieving women end up living on autopilot following inherited scripts, managing fear and checking boxes while quietly longing for something more aligned.

[00:01:46] shilpa: If you stay with us until the end, you may begin to notice where you've been operating on autopilot and what it could look like to design a life that's truly worth [00:02:00] living.

[00:02:01] shilpa: So let's step in.

[00:02:06] shilpa: Welcome, Dr. Wendy O'Connor. I'm so happy you're here.

[00:02:10] Thank you for 

[00:02:10] dr. wendy o'conner: having me. I'm so 

[00:02:11] shilpa: excited. Well, your journey and all of your knowledge, sounds so exciting. And we just connected before I hit record that you, had your education out here... 

[00:02:23] dr. wendy o'conner: yes. And so I did my doctorate at Stanford. Stanford has a consortium with the Pacific Graduate School of Psychology.

[00:02:30] dr. wendy o'conner: I did this consortium years ago now. My internship in postdoc happened to be in San Diego at Sharp Hospital. 

[00:02:37] shilpa: Wow. I always love to go deep with those who've actually had the education. There's often sometimes people who fall into a space and become, I would think of them as experts as well. But, then there's the expertise where it sounds like you had a calling, you've really built upon this.

[00:02:57] shilpa: Maybe you could speak to that. [00:03:00] 

[00:03:00] dr. wendy o'conner: And when you say that, are you referring to my calling as a psychologist or my transition into doing more coaching? 

[00:03:06] shilpa: Yeah. , Transition to coaching, but how you, where you started from in your transition. 

[00:03:10] dr. wendy o'conner: So I actually knew I wanted to be a psychologist in seventh grade, which is really bizarre as I think about it because I have a soon to be seventh grade daughter.

[00:03:20] dr. wendy o'conner: And I can't imagine that she's gonna come home one day and say, I know exactly what I wanna do, and that that's gonna be actually what she does. So who knows anything's possible. But I did know my first psychology class in middle school when the professor was talking about what you can do with a psychology degree.

[00:03:35] dr. wendy o'conner: I thought to myself, wait, I already do this with my friends. I could get paid for it. I'm going to totally do this. And it was an incredible journey of becoming a psychologist, of growing two thriving practices, serving so many people with anxiety and depression and stress management. And it was so rewarding and fulfilling until it didn't feel that way anymore.

[00:03:58] dr. wendy o'conner: And during that period [00:04:00] was when I had three daughters 15 months apart. I had my first daughter, and when she was six months old, I got pregnant with twins. And then I had three under two. I was just like, well, this is a very different life experience, and all of a sudden my energy and capacity and everything started to feel like it was shrinking.

[00:04:18] dr. wendy o'conner: My autonomy. All the things that you would think are pretty. Typical about transitioning into motherhood, but with having a success and achievement and practices and serving other people, it felt like I just couldn't keep running on fumes. It just wasn't the way I wanted to live my life. So because of my own languishing, because of my own surviving, instead of thriving, I started to look into positive psychology, the science of happiness, and just ask questions around how.

[00:04:47] dr. wendy o'conner: Do we get happier? How we do? We go from surviving to thriving. How do we stop checking the boxes of a day and actually show up feeling like we love a day and we're feel passionate about the day and excited about what's ahead? And [00:05:00] as soon as I learned more about what that looks like, how to roadmap a happier life, I was like, this is it.

[00:05:05] dr. wendy o'conner: This is exactly what I wanna take women through. Because so many women would come into my practice feeling like this. I have a good life. I'm grateful for what I have. It's really not that bad. But dot, dot, why am I not fulfilled? Why don't I wake up excited? Why do I keep snoozing? Why am I bored? Why am I so busy?

[00:05:24] dr. wendy o'conner: But unfulfilled or not content? That disconnect is really unfamiliar. Understanding that disconnect is really unfamiliar for a lot of women. And so that became what I call my life's work. 

[00:05:35] shilpa: And I find that remarkable because some of the best lessons I've learned from my own life and those who have been on my podcast is it's through your own life lessons that when you respond to that condition, whatever those conditions may be, you become like, uh, your own guru, so to speak, and you also become the person 

[00:05:56] dr. wendy o'conner: who now can help others.

[00:05:59] dr. wendy o'conner: Exactly, [00:06:00] exactly. I couldn't have spoken to this level of functioning, level of languishing, level of surviving if I hadn't experienced it. But then it became my specialty. How do we help women love their lives and not settle for a life that's not what they want and not what they're meant for? So, exactly.

[00:06:17] dr. wendy o'conner: We take our own stories. We create strength and resilience out of them. And in an ideal world, I guess, like it worked out for me, I get to help people do the same thing. 

[00:06:26] shilpa: You touched upon happiness, and I would love for you to share now that you've been in this space and responded to it because probably I imagine there was a desire for more happiness or fulfillment and having now guided others through life coaching.

[00:06:48] shilpa: What does happiness mean and how do you guide people who may. Have that emptiness inside. 

[00:06:59] dr. wendy o'conner: The way I look at [00:07:00] happiness, the way I talk about it with my clients is really about fulfillment. It's not just about how many smiles did you have today? How much did you laugh today? Although that can be a piece of the puzzle.

[00:07:10] dr. wendy o'conner: A lot of times people misunderstand happiness or positivity, or positive psychology as this, like Pollyanna approach to life. Nothing's wrong. You're always supposed to be happy. That's not what it's about. It's about a deep level of cont uh, of, of really connection to yourself. What are my unique strengths?

[00:07:28] dr. wendy o'conner: What are my individual values? What are my deep desires? And mapping out a life based on those personal qualities we have spent as women so long for so many of us just following what society says we are supposed to do, to be happy, to be successful, to be wealthy, to be, uh, to, to be a high achiever. And what a lot of women wake up and realize is they did all the right things.

[00:07:54] dr. wendy o'conner: But it's not working. Why is that? And that's because your plan, your roadmap, the way you are scripting your [00:08:00] life isn't actually a reflection of who you are most of the time. It's a reflection of your conditioning, what you've been taught to believe, what you've been taught to think, who you've been taught you should be, and to not leave those boundaries.

[00:08:13] dr. wendy o'conner: To not leave those parameters or that box. And this work of happiness is really about breaking the rules and designing a life from the ground up that feels like a reflection of who you truly are. 

[00:08:25] shilpa: And much of what you're articulating, it does require for one, to get more, , self-aware and perhaps even,, I would say.

[00:08:37] shilpa: Practice mindfulness in a way that may have been, um, something that they thought it was esoteric was out there, but now that through that integration, you're probably helping them with the transition, can you share some of those modalities that you typically apply or help others apply? 

[00:08:58] dr. wendy o'conner: Self-awareness is number [00:09:00] one, always.

[00:09:00] dr. wendy o'conner: We always come back to self-awareness. It is such an incredible key to unlock individuals next level of happiness or fulfillment or success when we know. Why we react the way we do, why we interpret the world the way we do, why we have the stories that we have, that we live by, that we operate from every day.

[00:09:19] dr. wendy o'conner: Once we understand what those voices are, where those stories came from, how we've been wired and conditioned all this time, that's when you have this opening. To insert something very different and something very deliberate, whereas so many people end up living by default, going through the motions and checking the boxes is not a very mindful way of life.

[00:09:41] dr. wendy o'conner: And when we build self-awareness, when we kind of pull back the curtain and understand, and it's not this old school idea of like, you need to lay on the couch and. Go, you know, see a particular type of psychodynamic therapist. It's just the idea of like, do I understand myself? What do I want? What do I desire?

[00:09:59] dr. wendy o'conner: What do I need, what [00:10:00] do I like? And a lot of women that will come into my world at the very beginning will say things like, I don't even know what I want. Or Am I even sure what I like anymore? Like, I've just been doing all the right things for so long. So mindfulness in, in the world that I use it for is really about just becoming more aware and more present.

[00:10:18] dr. wendy o'conner: How do I make decisions? Where do decisions come from? How do I make decisions easier by knowing thyself. The more we know ourselves, the more we understand our strengths, values, and desires, the easier decisions are about what to do next or where to go from here. That yields clarity, that builds, um, confidence and courage that allows us to take more risks and learn from our mistakes or our successes.

[00:10:44] dr. wendy o'conner: But all along the journey, self-awareness is a non-negotiable piece. Otherwise, we just keep repeating the same things over and over again, wondering what we're doing wrong. Yeah, one 

[00:10:53] shilpa: of my favorite phrases is, what is the definition of insanity is to do the same thing and expecting different results.

[00:10:59] shilpa: And I'd [00:11:00] often been there in the sense that as I was transitioning outta corporate, it was a rough phase and I imagine a lot of women who listen to this podcast, 'cause I do tailor to female solopreneurs who are pivoting and those pivots can be micro pivots before you make any bigger transition.

[00:11:20] shilpa: But while you're making those transitions, I imagine there's, , different phases you see your clients go through. Like you could probably identify, oh, there's still. Making those micro pivots, they haven't even realized that they're still reacting versus now ready to respond. Can you share with me how you recognize 'em?

[00:11:39] shilpa: I, I imagine it's somewhat transparent, but then how you help them. 'cause I, it probably requires a lot of compassion. 

[00:11:48] dr. wendy o'conner: Yeah. So what I typically will notice with my clients, which are often either entrepreneurs, women in medicine, women in leadership, all very ambitious, high achieving women, I. What I noticed [00:12:00] the most in terms of phases of growth or phases of development in this work is that if we think about, if we think about.

[00:12:07] dr. wendy o'conner: Growing, right? If we think about that growth zone, like how do I get to that place of growth? We forget, people don't realize that. To get to that place of growth, we have to go through fear, we have to go through discomfort, we have to go through leaving the comfort zone, into the fear zone, into the learning zone, and then finally into the growth zone.

[00:12:23] dr. wendy o'conner: And so I'll witness women a lot of times in different stages of this primarily. In the fear zone. So, and what women typically are not expecting is to feel as scared as they may feel making a major life change or even a small refinement in their life. Like you're saying, the micro changes, the nuances of daily life have a major impact on our perception of our lives.

[00:12:44] dr. wendy o'conner: You don't need an overhaul. You may want one, and that's completely wonderful and absolutely pursue it, but you don't need it necessarily to be happy. But what happens is a lot of times women will get excited about a change or imagine something better, and then they'll say, okay, I got this. I'm gonna go [00:13:00] forward.

[00:13:00] dr. wendy o'conner: I'm gonna take the risk. And then they get scared because it's uncertainty on the unknown and the what ifs. And then what happens right there in this one particular phase is what matters the most. How do you respond to fear? So if you react to fear and you decide that the fear means. This is the no fly zone.

[00:13:18] dr. wendy o'conner: This is, I shouldn't be going this way. This means something bad. This means it's not the right decision. And we go back to comfort and misery or complacency. We don't get beyond that fear to get to the place of learning mastery and growth. And so I will often see women that hold steady in this place of comfort to fear, comfort to fear, comfort, to fear, but they do not learn what it takes to move themselves through fear, into learning.

[00:13:41] dr. wendy o'conner: Then they're in learning and you get your, get some traction. You get your feet under you. You're not as scared, but you're still new or you're still figuring out the ropes. Then we can move through into growth zone. So I will see this every day of women in different places wanting something better. But as soon as it feels uncomfortable, scary, the interpretation [00:14:00] our brain wants to take is like, stop going that way.

[00:14:02] dr. wendy o'conner: Turn around. But I will often say to my clients, fear does not mean you need to stop going. Fear often means that you're onto something really good. So keep going. 

[00:14:12] shilpa: And I've also seen among a lot of my friends, my, a lot of my female friends are very similar, highly educated, may have come from a different culture.

[00:14:21] shilpa: So the expectations of who we are as a mother, as a wife, they're just, it can be overwhelming, so to speak. And one of the things I remember a girlfriend talking about was, well, I spent all these years getting this education. And while she was in a, phase where she was taking care of her children, that next stage where she could be at was well go back to what I was doing.

[00:14:47] shilpa: And I would be like, what? What if you could take that knowledge but build on it and do something new? And that's. Very scary for a lot of people because it feels [00:15:00] like failure. And how do you help someone who isn't quite even aware of the fact that it's, no, it may not be failure. 

[00:15:07] dr. wendy o'conner: Mm-hmm.

[00:15:09] dr. wendy o'conner: Yeah. It's very, it's the most common thing that we see as a barrier to people's happiness and success is fear. Fear of failure. Fear of it not working. Fear of fear. Fear of being embarrassed. Fear of being judged. Right. So this is so common. And at the end of the day, my take on, it's not like everyone's, but it's a much more like tough love perspective.

[00:15:30] dr. wendy o'conner: It's like we choose our hard, we choose our hard. So you can choose the hard of settling and the heart of your lost ambitions and your, the, the, the, the hard of, you knows, really settling for a life that is not what you wanted it to be or want it to be. Or you can choose the heart of learning, growing, and moving through fear.

[00:15:51] dr. wendy o'conner: Right. And so oftentimes people choose the hard that's more familiar because our brains like that better. And so they stay in that space of, you know, what I call [00:16:00] sometimes like miserable comfort because it's less scary. And honestly, the only way to navigate fear better or more effectively is through it.

[00:16:10] dr. wendy o'conner: So my take on it is very much like I love you and. Here's the bottom line. You're not gonna get to the next level of what you truly desire. If you don't embrace fear as a very normal passenger in the experience, it's going to come with you. If you start to normalize the discomfort of fear and stop acting as if it's a threat to you, that means you need to stop or go back to what you used to do.

[00:16:32] dr. wendy o'conner: You're going to make strides towards the life you want. If you're going to settle for the hard, that is the miserable comfort zone, then that's also hard, and you get to choose that. But choose it willingly. Choose it deliberately. Don't choose it by default. 

[00:16:45] shilpa: When you say deliberate, that reminds me of this other concept of intentional and often we forget that we are co-creators or designers of our life and it's not a punishment or [00:17:00] it's not a judgment that we may be required to redesign things.

[00:17:04] shilpa: Can you speak to that in terms of the concept 

[00:17:07] dr. wendy o'conner: of being intentional? It's, everything I do is about intentionality. Everything I talk about with my clients is about. Really learning how to be more deliberate and aware of what you're choosing and why you're choosing it. So that comes from the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning.

[00:17:21] dr. wendy o'conner: Is it grab your phone and scroll and consume news and get yourself worked up and stressed out? Or are you intentionally starting your day by taking a deep breath and asking yourself, how do I want to feel today? What do I want to focus on today? What is my intention for today? Just taking a minute of your time throughout your day to get the steering wheel back under your hands is really powerful way to just live by design and it's not, doesn't take any major life adjustments other than pausing.

[00:17:51] dr. wendy o'conner: Breathing and asking yourself a couple questions to connect back with who you are. So in my world, everything is about intention, and so I work with women on [00:18:00] creating their plan for the month. Like what's the intention or goal for the month? How are you going to create that? What is the daily intention?

[00:18:07] dr. wendy o'conner: How do you start and end your days? Because otherwise, if you don't ask yourself these questions, and many women don't realize they can ask themselves these questions. They think they don't have permission to have the freedom to ask these questions, then they just show up on default, survive a day, go to bed, and start again.

[00:18:21] dr. wendy o'conner: So intentionality is everything 

[00:18:24] shilpa: and a lot of individuals, um, and maybe myself included, it's easy to not, let me put it this way, it's easy to go on autopilot. So I'm very structured. I do have a lot of mindfulness routines, but even then, those mindfulness routines require a little bit of nudging.

[00:18:46] shilpa: Otherwise, you might be unconsciously on autopilot. But what about a generation of women we might know who never, like you were just saying, they may not have, [00:19:00] um, applied those methods or modalities and, um. It's new to them. 

[00:19:06] dr. wendy o'conner: Mm-hmm. 

[00:19:06] shilpa: And something new at 40 is scary. 

[00:19:10] dr. wendy o'conner: Mm-hmm. It feels like as we get older we have more to lose.

[00:19:14] dr. wendy o'conner: But the way I typically think about it is there's like life's getting shorter. So it's like, now is the time, life is now. We're not guaranteed anything. So life is now like, let's move now. And so it can feel riskier, but I also think it's riskier to not take the action and to not make the transitions and to not allow yourself to uplevel your life because time's actually getting shorter.

[00:19:36] dr. wendy o'conner: Life's getting shorter. What do you want it to be about? Although, I will say this, which is an interesting observation. A lot of the women that come into my world have a strength of love of learning. And so there is just something very natural about the women who are personal growth oriented, wanna learn, wanna grow, wanna challenge.

[00:19:55] dr. wendy o'conner: Even if they're scared, there's still a pull in that direction. Whereas there's a lot of [00:20:00] women that may not have that high of a strength with love of learning. And so that's where maybe self-awareness is lower or you see change happen maybe less frequently or at a slower pace. And so our strengths do really serve us in different ways.

[00:20:13] dr. wendy o'conner: But I've noticed over the years now. So many women that come into my world are so curious, naturally curious, while other women that come in, maybe more trepidatious, I'm teaching them the importance of curiosity and how that can be such a life changing tool that they use in their lives. Where can we change from using judgment to using curiosity?

[00:20:32] dr. wendy o'conner: This can be a total life changer for so many people, but we don't necessarily realize those things are options. If we're not naturally curious or have that love to learn new things, it can feel like more of a challenge. 

[00:20:44] shilpa: Yes, absolutely. And for those that, I'm really glad you're recognizing that because there are those that may be in a different phase or um, a natural tendencies, like you were talking about, natural strengths, and then there's [00:21:00] probably those who are already high achievers and that is a skillset or innate.

[00:21:07] shilpa: This about them because that it also leads them to be curious and continually growing. And like you were saying, you mentioned that from a young age you felt naturally, like you understood the desire to help people through psychology. And I remember for myself, I had these natural tendencies as well.

[00:21:29] shilpa: What about a new generation women, like the younger girls and how you feel like what is. Going to be potential for them. 'cause now we live in a world, I feel like it's the era of mindfulness is really on fire and I would like to imagine that your daughters will have that like almost innate skill in them.

[00:21:52] dr. wendy o'conner: We'll see. I would love if that was a more natural way. We'll see what happens. I'm noticing that a lot with younger women. There's this, [00:22:00] um. It feels like there's both, there's, there's both an energy around curiosity that there might be more options. They originally thought were available to them of what the good life looks like or how we define success.

[00:22:11] dr. wendy o'conner: But then there's also that traditional piece of, but I'm gotta finish college and I have to land the great job and what do I want? So there's this combination in younger women, especially in early twenties, I've noticed. That is this pressure from the past or what they've learned so far that's conflicting a little bit with that internal desire for what they want life to actually look like.

[00:22:31] dr. wendy o'conner: And the beauty in my mind is that there's at least half of that curiosity around what other options are available because now we're gonna create a different path for that human. So they're not waking up in 10, 20, 30 years going, why did I just follow the map that was prescribed for me and wake up unhappy and unsatisfied?

[00:22:49] dr. wendy o'conner: I'm so glad that I let myself be curious and give myself permission to consider alternatives. So I think there is gonna be, and there already is a major shift. I mean, women that are [00:23:00] reaching out for support, wanting mentorship around this are the women that are not interested anymore in just settling, having no boundaries and letting life just kind of like.

[00:23:11] dr. wendy o'conner: Swirl them up in their waves. They wanna take a stance and that trickles down because if we are the women that believe that the way we interact with our world has a ripple effect, so I think it's only gonna get better from here. 

[00:23:23] shilpa: And that just brings so much joy knowing that even for my son, I don't have any daughters, but just what they observe and what is possible makes me more hopeful for their, um, emotional wellbeing.

[00:23:39] shilpa: Absolutely. Now, one of the things that I know about you is that you focus on something that is very near and dear to me, which is while I am into the whole boo-hoo spirituality to some degree. Being very scientific and grounded is where my, um, navigational compass always leads me. And you focus on [00:24:00] evidence base.

[00:24:01] shilpa: Can you explain that and wrap up maybe with those women that are pivoting, which are often the women I help, um, what evidence-based modalities would you recommend for those who are thinking. I'm curious of mm-hmm. What if, what is possible for me, but still have that lens of fear. Mm-hmm. And yet, you know, they know they, they're, they're have that enough awareness that they wanna make that change.

[00:24:34] shilpa: Mm-hmm. 

[00:24:36] dr. wendy o'conner: Oh, so many things. So I like to combine. And so what I combine from science. Is self-compassion work, which is a daily practice for so many women in my world. Like this idea that we are extra judging ourselves for not having figured it out, for not doing more, for not taking care of ourselves, like we add this extra layer of suffering that just slows our role and just knocks us out of our power.

[00:24:59] dr. wendy o'conner: So [00:25:00] self-compassion iss in evidence. Evidence-based practice, which is amazing because people typically think it's going to make them complacent and unmotivated when in fact it actually keeps them very much engaged in what they want to create in their lives. Gives them permission to have detours without those being permanent and being shameful.

[00:25:16] dr. wendy o'conner: So self-compassion is a great place to start. Self-awareness is a great place to start, and anything in the world of positive psychology and cognitive behavioral work is, is what I recommend. So when I think about positive psychology specifically. Learning what your signature strengths are. Learning how to apply your signature strengths, learning how to design a life that supports and highlights your strengths.

[00:25:37] dr. wendy o'conner: If you're in a role, in a relationship, in a lifestyle where your top strengths are really at the bottom of the barrel of what's being highlighted and lived into, you're not gonna be happy. But when we bring those strengths up to the surface, when those are being lived into in daily choices, you're going to feel much more fulfilled very quickly.

[00:25:55] dr. wendy o'conner: Also in positive psychology. If you think about the five components to what we call living the [00:26:00] good life, having more often positive emotions, feeling engaged in your life, doing things for the sake of doing it, 'cause you love it, not because of a particular outcome. Experiencing positive emo uh, positive relationships is very important.

[00:26:13] dr. wendy o'conner: Relationships are huge for our happiness. A sense of meaning that a life is meaningful, that it's on purpose, that it's connected to something deeper for us, and accomplishment. If you think about those five pieces, that's gonna go a really long way, and just saying to myself, okay, which of those are kind of missing?

[00:26:29] dr. wendy o'conner: Which of those could I turn up a little bit? Which ones are feeling satisfactory to me now? Then it gives us something to hold onto to say, okay, I can change the dials. I just need to learn how. And then from cognitive behavioral work, we know that our thoughts impact our feelings, which then influence our behavior.

[00:26:45] dr. wendy o'conner: So when we start to recognize the power of neuroplasticity, being able to rewire our mind, to rewire our stories, to choose new stories, to write to our next stories, this is gonna be incredibly powerful for us to change our habits and [00:27:00] our lifestyle, our behaviors. So all of these as being science backed, methods to living a better life are just.

[00:27:07] dr. wendy o'conner: Really blend well together. They really marry well together for a whole experience. 

[00:27:13] shilpa: I love that. That was really beautifully articulated.

[00:27:17] shilpa: Do you have any words of wisdom for those that are like, well, where do I start then if there was just one modality or one thing I need to do? Or even as they reach out to you, the show notes will give information about your work and how they can engage with you.

[00:27:33] dr. wendy o'conner: Yeah, my one piece of wisdom is always going to be just start. Stop waiting for the right time. Stop waiting for the confidence. Stop waiting for the weather to change. Stop waiting for the next thing. The variables outside of ourselves to help influence our lives. Like just start, you know, the thing that's been gnawing at you to change.

[00:27:53] dr. wendy o'conner: We typically have a sense of what that thing is where we might not be as happy, or where we might not be living up to our potential or [00:28:00] what's getting in the way. We typically have a sense of that, if you know what that is. Take action on it today. Just choose to take action. Don't worry about is it the right one.

[00:28:09] dr. wendy o'conner: Is it the perfect choice? Is it the exact thing? Just move on it. Just move the needle a tiny, tiny inch forward, a tiny millimeter forward. It doesn't matter. What matters is that you're showing your brain that you're serious, that you want this, that you're worth it. And uh, once we get moving with tiny, tiny little actions and build some momentum, like you'll be off and running.

[00:28:29] dr. wendy o'conner: But most of the time when women come into my world is for the accountability. It's for learning the how, it's for the support, but it's not necessarily because women have no idea how to. Be happier. It's often, it's just, where do I start? How do I get going, and then how do I keep it? But if you have a hunch about where that first piece could be, don't wait on it.

[00:28:47] dr. wendy o'conner: Just do something about it today. Even if you're not sure how that's gonna pan out, still choose yourself, choose your happiness first. 

[00:28:55] shilpa: Okay. That's beautifully articulated. And I agree with everything you shared, and [00:29:00] I am so honored that you're here to share this.

[00:29:03] shilpa: Well, thank you, Dr. Wendy. 

[00:29:05] dr. wendy o'conner: Thank you so much for having me.

[00:29:06] dr. wendy o'conner: I loved our conversation. I really hope that it makes a positive impact in your audience. 

[00:29:11] shilpa: Oh, it will. I really believe it. Thank you. Thank you.