Codependent Doctor
Podcast focusing on codependency. Learning how to create healthier relationships, healthier self and healthier lives.
Codependent Doctor
37: Reclaim Your Power: How to Recognize and Release the Victim Mindset
In this episode of The Codependent Doctor, I delve into the complex and often misunderstood concept of "victim mode." As a family doctor and fellow codependent, I understand that many of us have experienced feelings of powerlessness, especially after trauma, burnout, or in the context of codependency. This episode is designed to foster compassion and self-awareness, rather than judgment, as we explore how victim mode manifests in our lives and how we can begin to shift out of it.
I start by defining victim mode as a mindset where individuals feel as though life is constantly happening to them, leading to a sense of helplessness and resentment. This mindset can stem from real experiences of trauma, emotional neglect, or feeling unheard, and it often results in a long-term identity that can be difficult to break free from. I emphasize that while many listeners may have valid reasons for their pain, it’s crucial to recognize when that pain transforms into a belief that nothing will ever change.
Throughout the episode, I highlight the signs of being stuck in victim mode, such as feeling like nothing works out, blaming others for our circumstances, and retelling painful stories that define our identities. I encourage listeners to approach these signs with curiosity rather than shame, recognizing that they are often survival strategies learned in response to past experiences.
I also discuss how victim mode can impact our relationships, leading to feelings of being taken advantage of, expecting others to read our minds, and avoiding direct communication. These patterns can create a cycle of disconnection and disappointment, even when those around us are not intentionally trying to hurt us.
As we move into the healing portion of the episode, I share practical steps for shifting out of victim mode. I emphasize the importance of acknowledging our experiences without shame and encourage listeners to ask themselves, "What is still in my control?" This question can help reclaim a sense of agency in situations where we may feel powerless.
I introduce the concept of "tiny acts of power," which are small, everyday decisions that reinforce our ability to choose and assert our needs. Examples include saying no without over-explaining, asking for help without apologizing, and prioritizing our own comfort. These actions, while seemingly minor, can significantly impact our sense of self and empowerment.
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Today we're going to be diving into victim mode. Now, before you cringe at the phrase or start wondering if I'm calling you dramatic, please take a deep breath. This isn't about judgment. This is about compassion, self-awareness and naming a pattern that many of us fall into, especially those of us who've experienced some trauma, burnout or codependency. In this episode, we're going to explore how victim mode shows up, where it comes from and, most importantly, how to gently start shifting out of it, because you deserve to feel powerful again. You deserve to be the main character in your life, not the one who's always waiting for rescue. If you've been feeling powerless, resentful or like life is just happening to you, not with you, then this episode's for you. Welcome to the Codependent Doctor, a weekly podcast focusing on all things codependency. Are you struggling to love yourself, feeling burnt out or having trouble forming loving and meaningful relationships? I can help you heal from the past and move forward with healthier selves, healthier relationships and healthier, more fulfilling lives. Join me as we reclaim your authentic self. I'm your host, a family doctor and fellow codependent Dr, angela Downey. We can do this together. Here we go. Hello to all my wonderful podcast listeners and welcome to the 37th episode of the Codependent Doctor. I'm your host, dr Angela Downey, a family doctor and fellow codependent.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is focusing on being stuck in victim mode, because sometimes life can get messy and really heavy, and when it feels like you're constantly getting hit with one thing after another, it's easy to slip into this mindset of why is this always happening to me? That feeling of being stuck overwhelmed and completely at the mercy of everything and everyone else around you. That's what we're talking about today. In this episode. I want to unpack something that shows up in a lot of recovery, codependency and even just everyday stress. Victim mode this isn't about blaming or calling anyone out. This is about naming a pattern that many of us have learned to survive and how we can begin to outgrow with self-awareness and compassion.
Speaker 1:Victim mode is a mindset where you see yourself as someone that life is constantly happening to. It's not a one-time feeling or frustration of disappointment. It's a recurring belief that you have little or no influence over your circumstances. You start to feel like you're always reacting, never choosing, like the world is against you and you're just trying to survive it. This mindset often comes with feelings like powerlessness, believing that nothing you do will ever make a difference Blame, pointing out words for why you're stuck or why you're hurting, resentment, feeling bitter or angry that others seem to have it easier than you, helplessness, feeling emotionally frozen or too overwhelmed to act. It's important for me to say this clearly victim mode is not the same as being a victim.
Speaker 1:Many of you listening have gone through some deeply painful, unjust and even life-altering experiences Maybe abuse, neglect, betrayal, grief, emotional abandonment. And if that's you, I want you to know that your pain is valid and you're allowed to grieve what happened. You're allowed to be angry about it. You're allowed to carry the weight of what happened for as long as you need to, but when you're ready, you also get to choose how long you want to carry it, for this episode and this podcast as a whole is not about minimizing your experiences or rushing you past your pain. Healing is not linear and no one can tell you when it's time to move forward. But if you're here because you want to start healing, if you're ready to loosen the grip on the story that says I'm the one who's always getting hurt, then you're in the right place.
Speaker 1:Victim mode, as we're talking about it today, is not about the trauma itself, but it's the long-term identity that can form around that trauma. It's when the pain of what happened turns into a belief that nothing will ever change or that you'll always be powerless. And if a therapist or trauma-informed specialist has encouraged you to gently begin exploring empowerment and self-responsibility, then this episode is designed to support that process. And if you're not there yet, that's okay. You're not behind, you're not doing it wrong. But if you are ready, and if you're ready to stop letting it define your future, then this conversation is for you.
Speaker 1:Victim mode is a story that your nervous system clings to when it's trying to protect you from further pain. It says if I expect disappointment, I won't be surprised by it. It can become comforting in a strange way, because at least you know how to live there. It's predictable. But over time that story is going to shrink your life. It takes away your voice, it takes away your choices and your sense of self. And that's what we're here to shift, very gently, not by forcing positivity, but by reclaiming your personal power, one step at a time.
Speaker 1:Victim mode doesn't suddenly appear out of nowhere. Most of the time it's rooted in very real experiences of trauma, emotional neglect and feeling unseen or unheard. A lot of us learned very early in life that our feelings didn't matter, or that we had to stay quiet, be helpful or fix everything just to stay safe or loved. Maybe you grew up in a home where, no matter how hard you tried, it was never good enough, or where chaos, criticism or silence were just a normal part of everyday life. Maybe you were the kid who had to act like an adult, or the one who kept the peace so that no one would explode. Or maybe and this part is especially hard you were hurt or abused by someone that you loved, someone who should have been protecting you but didn't, and you did what you had to do to survive. Maybe you shut down, you tried to be perfect, or you blamed yourself because that felt safer than believing someone you trusted could cause you any harm.
Speaker 1:And somewhere along the way, you might have started to believe things like good things don't happen to me, or no one ever really shows up for me, or maybe I always have to do everything myself. Those aren't just thoughts. They're survival beliefs and coping strategies. But when those beliefs start running your life on autopilot, they can keep you stuck in a pattern where it always feels like the world is against you, even when it's not anymore. And if you've dealt with codependency, this pattern can get even more reinforced. You become the one who suffers silently, the one who takes on everyone else's problems, the one who says I'm fine when you're falling apart inside. Over time, this can create a lens where you always feel like the one who's left behind, let down or maybe taken advantage of, even when the people around you aren't trying to hurt you anymore.
Speaker 1:There are many signs that you might recognize if you're stuck in victim mode, and I want to say up front that this is not about shaming or labeling anyone. This is just about awareness. If you hear yourself in any of these, it doesn't mean that you're doing life wrong. It just means that you've been through stuff that taught you to live on high alert. So we should try and explore this with curiosity, not judgment. One sign is that you feel like nothing ever works out for you. You might feel like, no matter how hard you try, you're always getting knocked down, passed over or maybe left behind, and after a while, it's easy to fall into this mindset of what's the point of even trying. Another big one is blaming others, or blaming the universe for everything that goes wrong, and I want to be really clear here.
Speaker 1:Sometimes people do let us down, sometimes they betray us, sometimes they abandon us or hurt us in ways that we don't deserve. And if you experienced abuse, neglect or emotional abandonment, especially in childhood, none of that was your fault. You were a child and you were doing the best that you could in a situation where your needs weren't being met. But here's where it gets tricky. As adults, if we carry the belief that I was neglected, so I'm always going to be unimportant, or no one took care of me, so no one ever will, it keeps us stuck in a place where we expect life to repeat that same pattern. It keeps us waiting for someone else to finally show up and fix what they broke, and there's a good chance that you're never going to get that closure. You might wait a lifetime for that person to come back and apologize.
Speaker 1:And here's the truth. It's not your responsibility and it's not in your control. You may not be responsible for what happened to you, but healing from it, that part, is in your hands. That's where your power lies. So let's say you were neglected as a child. Maybe you didn't get the attention or the affection that you needed. And now, as an adult, you might feel invisible in relationships or like you have to earn love by overgiving or staying quiet. If you carry the belief that no one cared about me back then, so I guess I don't matter now either, that story becomes a lens that colors everything. But if you can start to shift that belief, even just a little, you might say back then I didn't matter to people who were supposed to care for me, but that doesn't mean that I don't matter. I do, and I do get to start showing up for myself in ways that they couldn't. That shift is not going to erase what happened, but it's going to give you a way forward. It says what happened to me matters, but how I treat myself now matters too.
Speaker 1:Blame might feel protective, but it also keeps us waiting for something to change that we can't control. Responsibility feels scary at first, but it's where your real freedom begins. Another sign of being stuck in victim mode is you might find yourself avoiding responsibility, not because you're lazy or careless, but because it feels overwhelming or even unfair to be the one who has to fix it all. You might think I didn't create this mess, so why do I have to be the one to clean it up. That's a really human reaction, especially if you spent a lifetime over-functioning or being the caretaker.
Speaker 1:Another sign that you might be stuck in victim mode is that you find yourself retelling the same painful story over and over, not because you're attention seeking and not because you want pity, but because that pain became part of your identity. That story became how you understood yourself. Maybe the story sounds something like I'm the person who always gets hurt, or I'm the person who was never chosen, or I'm the one who gave everything and still got left. Those stories might be true. You were hurt, you were overlooked, you did give your whole heart and someone did walk away. But I'm not here to tell you, just to move on or to get over it. That story formed for a reason and it was real. But the problem is when we keep living inside that story, when we keep telling it without rewriting any part of it, we don't give ourselves the space to become anything else. We don't give ourselves the room to imagine a different outcome or identity.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to give you an example. Let's say you were in a relationship where you constantly gave and gave and the other person took advantage of you or left without any kind of explanation. That wound cuts really deep and maybe now, every time you get close to someone, you find yourself saying things like I always love people who leave, or I'm just someone that people walk away from. Over time, that becomes your emotional script. Even if someone shows up for you in a healthy way, your brain is still scanning for signs that they're going to leave, because that's what your story says is going to happen next. But what if you could update that story, even just a little? What if you could say I was deeply hurt in that relationship, but I'm learning to notice red flags sooner? I'm learning that I don't have to prove my worth to be loved.
Speaker 1:That new version of the story doesn't erase the pain, but it builds on it. It shows growth and it opens the door to something better. If any of that resonates, I just want to say that I get it and you're not broken. These are signs of someone who has been trying to survive for a really long time. But survival isn't the end goal. We're here to talk about healing, and even small shifts in how we see ourselves can open the door to change. So let's talk about how victim mode can sneak into our relationships, because this is where it often shows up the loudest and the most painfully.
Speaker 1:One big red flag is that you feel like other people are always taking advantage of you. Maybe you're the friend who's always there, the one who remembers birthdays, who drops everything when someone else is in crisis, but when you need something, you hear nothing but crickets. People don't show up for you the way that you show up for them, and that hurts Over time. It creates this deep sense of I'm being used or people only want me when I'm useful. And that brings up another dynamic expecting people to read your mind and then feeling crushed when they don't. You might think if they really cared, they would know what I need. But most people aren't mind readers, and when you're stuck in victim mode, it can feel safer to expect disappointment than to actually ask for what you want or need and risk hearing no.
Speaker 1:Another big one is constantly rescuing others and then feeling resentful. You might be the fixer, the helper, the one who swoops in to solve everything for everyone else, and maybe you even get a sense of worth from being that person. But then, once again, when you're the one struggling, you feel totally alone. You start to think why do I give so much and get so little in return? That resentment builds and it often spills out in ways that aren't about the current situation or about the unspoken hurt that's underneath. And finally, avoiding direct communication because, honestly, it just feels pointless. You might think they're not going to listen anyway, or I'll just get shut down, or it's easier to stay quiet than to deal with the fallout. That's victim mode in action. It tells you that your voice doesn't matter or that it's safer to hold it all in and hope that someone else figures it out. And again, this isn't about blaming you. These are all survival strategies that you may have learned a long time ago, especially if you grew up in a home where expressing needs or feelings wasn't safe. But in adult relationships they create patterns that keep you feeling disconnected, disappointed and unheard, even when people around you aren't trying to hurt you.
Speaker 1:Okay, so before we dive into how to start healing and shifting your mindset out of victim mode, which is what we are going to do, I promise I want to talk to you about something that might sound a little counterintuitive, and that's why it can actually maybe feel safer to stay in victim mode. Now you're thinking wait. How can anyone possibly feel comfortable there? You're not alone. Most people don't consciously choose victim mode. It's not like we wake up in the morning and say, today I'd really like to feel helpless and stuck. Of course not. But if we look a little deeper, we often find that victim mode has become kind of this emotional safety net, especially for those of us who've been through real hurt or trauma or instability. So I'm going to break that down a little bit.
Speaker 1:First, being in victim mode it protects you from disappointment or failure. If you believe that nothing ever works out for you, then you're never surprised when it doesn't. If you never put yourself out there, you can't get rejected. It's like an emotional armor. If I expect the worst, I'm not going to be let down, and that makes sense. When life has let you down time and time again, especially if that was early on, it's your nervous system trying to stay one step ahead of the pain. Second and this one's a little more tender Sometimes being in victim mode brings care and attention.
Speaker 1:If you grew up in an environment where your needs were ignored or dismissed. And attention. If you grew up in an environment where your needs were ignored or dismissed, pain might have become the only way that you ever felt seen. And now, even if it's not conscious, there can be this pull to stay in that place of struggle, because that's when people check in, that's when they listen and maybe when they show up for you. It's not manipulation, it's relational survival. If you've never known any other way to feel loved or important. Victim mode can feel oddly kind of comforting.
Speaker 1:And the last thing I wanted to talk about, and maybe it's the most important. But change can be really scary. Growth takes vulnerability, and healing means facing parts of yourself and your story that maybe you've spent years trying to avoid. Choosing a new mindset means stepping into unfamiliar territory where you don't know what will happen next. Victim mode, while maybe it's painful, is at least predictable. It says stay small, don't risk anything. This is what you know.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, it might sound a little bit strange to say that being stuck in victim mode might feel safe for some people, but when you unpack it it makes a lot of sense, especially if you've been through trauma, especially if your past taught you that taking risks only leads to hurt and especially if no one ever taught you that you're allowed to have power. But just because it feels safe doesn't mean that it's serving you anymore, and the fact that you're here listening to me tells me that some part of you is ready for something different. So let's talk about what you've probably been waiting for how to actually start shifting your mind out of victim mode. And just to be clear, this is not about fixing yourself or suddenly becoming a hyper-independent powerhouse overnight. This is about taking small, doable steps that help you feel more grounded and more in charge of your life, even for just a little.
Speaker 1:So first things first, you've got to acknowledge that you've been in victim mode without feeling any shame about it. That's the hardest part for most of us. If you've been listening to this podcast, thinking, oh no, I do this all the time, your brain might be going straight to what's wrong with me, but I want you to hear this there is nothing wrong with you. Victim mode is a survival pattern. It's what your nervous system learned to do when life felt overwhelming and unsafe. It's not a character flaw, it's a coping strategy, and you're allowed to outgrow it without blaming yourself for ever having needed it. Next, I want you to try asking yourself this really powerful question what is still in my control? And, I know. For those of us who are used to feeling powerless or who grew up in homes where we didn't have a lot of say in what happened around us, this question can feel almost impossible to answer at first. But it's not about taking control of everything. It's about finding the small areas where you do have a choice and I promise there's always something.
Speaker 1:Let's say your boss is constantly micromanaging you. They hover and they nitpick and it makes you feel anxious and incapable. You might not be able to change their behavior. You probably can't rewrite the company culture, but what can you control? You can control how you respond to them. You can set boundaries, like saying I've got this covered. If I run into a problem, I'm going to let you know. You can choose to document your work more clearly or talk to HR if the situation escalates. You can even control your own self-talk in the moment. This doesn't mean that I'm failing. It just means that they have control issues. Or, let's say, your family's constantly pulling you into their drama. Maybe there's always someone fighting or venting or asking you to be the go-between. You can't fix their dynamic, but you can take a step back. You can maybe leave the group chat or put it on mute and you can decide I'm not going to answer every call right away or I'm allowed to say I'm not available for this conversation right now. These might be little things, but they're huge when you're used to feeling like life is just dragging you around.
Speaker 1:Control doesn't mean having power over other people. It means reclaiming your ability to respond intentionally instead of reacting automatically. So when you feel stuck, overwhelmed or like everything else is happening to you, pause and take a breath and ask yourself what part of this is still mine to work with. Even if the only answer that day is I can take a break or I can get through this hour, that's still something that's still you choosing, instead of shutting down. The more often you practice that question what am I in control of? The more natural it becomes. You start to realize that you have way more power than you thought, and not just in the places that you've been told to look.
Speaker 1:You can also practice what I like to call tiny acts of power, and I know that might sound dramatic for things that seem small on the outside, but if you're someone who spent most of your life people-pleasing, over-functioning or feeling like you've had no choice, these little actions are actually pretty big. Tiny acts of power are those small everyday decisions that remind your nervous system hey, I get to choose, I'm allowed to make decisions for my life. They're not about controlling other people or having everything figured out perfectly. They're about starting to reconnect with your voice and your needs, one little step at a time. So examples of this would be saying no without over explaining. So, instead of launching into a long winded excuse or trying to soften the blow, you might simply say I'm not available for that or I'm going to pass. It might feel terrifying at first, but it's powerful. You're reminding yourself that you don't owe people an essay just to justify your limits.
Speaker 1:Asking for help without apologizing For a lot of codependents asking for support feels like weakness or like you're being a burden. But what if you just say, hey, I could really use a hand with this and left it at that? That's a powerful move. It's trusting that your needs matter and that you're allowed to be supported too, choosing a different route to work just because you want to. This one might sound silly, but it's a form of breaking autopilot. It's a little reminder that you're not trapped in routines. You have choices, even in the tiniest parts of your day, and sometimes something as simple as taking a scenic route can shift your whole mindset. Leaving a social event early because your body says that you've had enough you don't have to push through exhaustion or to pretend that you're enjoying something when you're done. Choosing to leave when your energy runs out, is you listening to yourself, respecting your capacity and acting on it. That's self-trust in action.
Speaker 1:This might sound really silly, but I often avoid taking water breaks or going to the bathroom at work because my day gets so busy. In my mind I would say man, I really need to go pee. And then six hours later, I'm still running around and I haven't gone to the bathroom yet. Now I make a conscious effort to prioritize my own comfort and my needs at work. Sometimes I might leave a patient waiting for an extra five minutes just so that I can visit the water cooler or the water closet and so that I can take care of myself. These things might not seem like a big deal to someone who's always felt confident or assertive, but for people like us, who've been conditioned to make themselves small or to stay agreeable, to not rock the boat, these are bold moves. These are little rebellions, and every time that you practice one, you build trust with yourself, you teach your body and your mind that you've got you, and the more you do that, the less you need to rely on victim mode to feel safe, because now you're learning how to create safety from the inside. And finally, one of the most helpful and, honestly, most life-changing mindset shifts you can practice is learning to move from why is this happening to me to what can I learn to do with this?
Speaker 1:That first question why is this happening to me? It's automatic, it's totally human. When something painful happens, especially something that feels unfair or familiar in a bad way, our brain wants to make sense of it. We go into that spiral of why me? Why again? What did I do to deserve that? But that question keeps you stuck, it loops you into the pain, it puts you in the role of the powerless one, the person that bad things just happen to, and I want better for you than that. So what if you could shift that question even just a little? What if, instead of why is this happening to me, you asked what is this here to teach me? Or what can I do differently next time? Or what does this bring up in me that I still need healing from.
Speaker 1:Let me give you an example. Let's say someone close to you crossed a boundary again. Maybe they showed up late or they cancelled at the last minute and your first reaction is I can't believe they treated me this way again. That's fair. You're allowed to feel disappointed or maybe hurt, but if you stop there, you're going to stay stuck in that same story. Now imagine asking instead what boundary do I need to protect myself next time? Or what part of me still wants to feel needed so badly that I ignored that warning sign? That kind of question doesn't erase your pain, but it puts you in the driver's seat and when you've spent years feeling like a passenger in your own life, like everything is just happening to you, that shift is everything. You're not being punished. You're now being invited invited to pay attention, to learn something new, to try a new response, maybe to move forward in a different way.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that you need to be grateful for every hard thing. Some things are just hard, some things were just wrong. But asking what can I learn from this doesn't mean that the pain was okay. It means that you're choosing to grow anyway, and that's powerful. That's how we start to shift out of victim mode, not by denying our pain, but by deciding to do something with it. I just want to take a minute to say this If you recognize yourself in any of this, it's okay. It's okay that you've been stuck in victim mode for a while. It's okay that you're just realizing how much it's shaped the way that you think, the way that you can relate or the way that you see yourself. Maybe you needed to live there for a season.
Speaker 1:Sometimes victim mode is a form of protection. It helps you survive when you don't feel like you have options. It gave you a language for your pain when no one else was listening. So that's where you've been living. So please don't beat yourself up for it. That version of you was doing the best they could with the information that they had, and you don't have to fix everything overnight. I know how easy it is to hear all of this and start thinking okay, great, now I have to change everything about how I think, how I speak and how I act. But no, even just noticing that the pattern is there is a big step.
Speaker 1:Awareness is a win and, honestly, it's one of the most important ones, because once you see it. You can't unsee it, and that's what makes change possible, and I want you to know this. You're allowed to be both hurt and powerful at the same time. These two things can exist together. You don't have to wait until you're all better or fully healed to start standing in your truth. You don't have to pretend that the pain never happened in order to move forward. You can carry your story and your strength. You can be a work in progress and still reclaim your voice. You can say this hurt me and also say I'm going to do something different now.
Speaker 1:So, as we close up this episode, I want to leave you with this You're not weak for getting stuck. You're strong for wanting out of it. Let that sink in for a second. Getting stuck in victim mode doesn't make you broken or flawed. It makes you human. You've lived through hard times. You did what you needed to survive. That was strength. And now the fact that you're even thinking about shifting out of that place, the fact that you're noticing your patterns, reflecting on your beliefs and asking better questions, that's strength too. It takes courage to say I don't want to live this way anymore, and it takes even more courage to say I might not know how to change this yet, but I'm willing to try.
Speaker 1:So today I want to invite you to reflect on just one small choice that you can make that's rooted in empowerment. Not perfection, not a total life overhaul, just something small and doable that says I matter, I have a say in how this goes. Maybe that means saying no to something that you don't have the energy for. Maybe it means finally asking for help. Maybe it's journaling about a story that you're ready to write. Maybe it's something as simple as pausing before reacting and reminding yourself that you have options. Whatever it is, let that be your tiny act of power today. Let that be your reminder that you're not stuck forever. You're already shifting just by showing up with more awareness, more honesty and more compassion for yourself. You've got this and I'm proud of you for being here. Here are some reflection exercises this week if you would like to do some journaling work.
Speaker 1:What's a situation in my life that feels painful, unfair or never changing? What story am I telling myself about it? Example people always leave me or nothing ever works out for me. Where did that story come from? Does it still feel true and if not, how would I like to rewrite it? What situation in my life feels out of control or overwhelming right now? What part of this is not mine to carry? What is in my control, even if it's small? What's one action that I can take today that supports my well-being? Phew, I want you all to take a really big breath.
Speaker 1:This is probably one of the heaviest episodes I've ever done. It was a lot. I was a little nervous to write it, but I'm glad that we got through it and I hope that you're all doing okay. I wish you all a great week as you learn to foster a better relationship with the most important person in your life yourself. I'm going to meet you here next week for another episode of the Codependent Doctor, when we're going to talk about the lonely part of healing that no one ever warned you about. Take care for now. Thank you for joining me and I hope today's podcast resonated with you. Click, like and subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes and to help others who might benefit. This podcast is not meant to provide medical advice and should not replace seeing your doctor for mental health concerns. If you're having a mental health crisis, please present to a hospital, call 911 or your local crisis helpline. I'll talk to you next week for another episode of the Codependent Doctor. We can do this together.