40: The Everyday Practice of Mental Wellness: Beyond Diagnosis

What does mental health care look like between therapy sessions and diagnoses?

In this Mental Health Awareness Month episode, I explore the daily habits that support emotional well-being—especially for those of us with codependent tendencies.

We cover:

• Why your “lizard brain” still jumps to worst-case scenarios
• How asking “what do I need today?” can feel hard but healing
• Small practices that build resilience: saying no, resting early, and pausing to breathe

Mental health isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about showing up for yourself daily—with compassion, not crisis.

📗 My Books: Enough as I Am (codependency recovery) Enough as I Grow (365 day guide journal). Affiliate disclosure: I am an affiliate parner with Amazon and therefore receive a commission at no cost to you.

📘 Great Books on Codependency

📙My Favorite books: 

Daring Greatly by Brenee Brown, It Begins With You by Jillian Turecki, Becoming Bulletproof by Evy Poumpouras, The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, Real Self-Care by Pooja Lakshmin. 

Affiliate disclosure: I am an affiliate parner with Amazon and therefore receive a commission at no cost to you.

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🎵 Music: Touching The Air by Graceful Movement

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:45

Today I'm sending you a special bonus episode to kick off May , which is Mental Health Awareness Month . Now , I know we hear the words mental health a lot , but we don't always talk about what it actually looks like in our day-to-day lives . It's not just about having a diagnosis like anxiety or depression . Mental health is about how we take care of ourselves , how we manage stress , how we set boundaries , how we rest and how we speak to ourselves when things get really hard . So this month I'm going to be releasing a few shorter episodes . These are going to be things

Introduction to Mental Health Month

Speaker 1 1:17

that have made a difference in my life , and it might just make a difference in yours as well . Welcome to the Codependent Doctor , a weekly podcast focusing on all things codependency . Are you struggling to love yourself , feeling burnt out or having trouble forming loving and meaningful relationships ? I can help you heal from the past and move forward with healthier selves , healthier relationships and healthier , more fulfilling lives . Join me as we reclaim your authentic self . I'm your host , a family doctor and fellow codependent Dr Angela Downey . We can do this together . Here we go . Hello to all my wonderful podcast listeners . I'm Dr Angela Downey , and today I'm sending you a special bonus episode because May is Mental Health Awareness Month , and I think it's something that we don't talk about enough in a real everyday kind of way . I hope you're all doing really well .

Speaker 1 2:09

Well , and I'm going to start off by sharing something that went really well for me this week . So my boss came into the clinic earlier this week she doesn't normally come in and the day before she sent me a message saying that she wanted to talk with me

Managing My Lizard Brain Reaction

Speaker 1 2:23

and she confirmed that I was going to be there . And right away my lizard brain that most primitive and reactive part of my brain it totally flipped out . I immediately thought oh my gosh , I am totally getting fired . I had to stop myself , like consciously , stop my mind from spiraling . I had to remind myself that I'm happy with the way that things are going at the clinic right now . I'm doing really good work and if , for some reason , if what I'm doing isn't aligning with what the company wants and if I do get fired , then I'm going to find a solution for that , because there's always a solution . So I told myself that I shouldn't worry about this until I actually know what's going on and , as it turns out , it ended up being an amazing conversation . She told me that she loves having me at the clinic , and she even brought up my podcast and my book that's coming up . She said we should talk more about how we can incorporate all of that to help better support our patients who come through the doors . It was a really positive conversation and I am so glad that I didn't lose a night's sleep panicking over it .

Speaker 1 3:32

This is a really good reminder that , even when I'm feeling good day to day , my lizard brain it still kicks in from time to time , and when it does , I have to actively manage my thoughts and I need to catch myself before I spiral . I feel really good overall , but that doesn't mean that my mental health is going to take care of itself . It's something that I always need to stay aware of and it's something that I'm always needing to tend to , even on my good days . Usually , we only think about mental health when something's going really wrong , when we've hit a wall , when we've burnt out or when we get a diagnosis like anxiety or depression . But mental health is so much more than that . It's not just something that you think about when you're in crisis . It's how you treat yourself every day . It's how you listen to your body , how you speak to yourself when you're really struggling and how you move through the world .

Speaker 1 4:29

And that's why I wanted to do this episode because

Mental Health as Everyday Practice

Speaker 1 4:31

we need to normalize the idea that you don't have to be falling apart to take your mental health seriously . Sometimes it's just about learning how to live with more compassion and a little less pressure . We tend to think about mental health like a light switch right . Either you have a problem or you don't . But it's not that black and white . Mental health isn't just about whether or not you're diagnosed with something . It's about how you take care of your emotional well-being on a regular basis . It's the choices that you make in your day-to-day life , like how much rest do you allow yourself ? How do you talk to yourself when you've made a mistake ? Do you feel safe saying no , or do you panic and people-please your way through everything ? And here's something that I want you to hear very clearly you don't need a diagnosis to deserve support . You don't have to hit rock bottom to start paying attention .

Speaker 1 5:23

Mental wellness isn't a checkbox . It's a practice . It's something that you tend to over time , and taking care of your mental health doesn't always look big and dramatic . Most of the time , it looks really simple . It looks like going to bed early instead of scrolling TikTok until 1am . It looks like saying no to plans because you're feeling tired , even if you feel a little guilty about it . It looks like letting yourself cry and not apologizing for it . Sometimes it looks like taking a walk , a deep breath , setting a boundary , or taking a nap .

Speaker 1 5:54

I used to push through everything until my body literally made me stop . I didn't think I had permission to rest until I had totally burnt out or was sick , and by the time I did stop , I was completely depleted . So here's what I've learned the hard way we

You Don't Need a Crisis to Seek Help

Speaker 1 6:10

shouldn't have to crash in order to care for ourselves . When we ignore mental health , it just slowly chips away at us . You start feeling tired all the time . You're snappy with your kids or your partner . You stop enjoying things that used to light you up , but instead of asking what's off here , we just keep pushing through or working a little harder at it . Especially if you're the one who's always showing up for others . You're the strong one , the helper , the one who over functions for everyone else . It can feel unnatural , even wrong sometimes , to pause and check in with yourself . I ignored the signs for way too long . I thought if I just worked harder , helped more , gave more , that it would make me feel better . And spoiler alert , it didn't . It felt worse and eventually I ended up so sick and burnt out and wondering how did I let it get this far ?

Speaker 1 7:01

Now , if you're someone who struggles with codependency , like I have , you already know how emotionally exhausting it is . You're constantly tuned in to everyone else's needs , their moods , their reactions and your own needs . They slowly fall to the bottom of the list . Sometimes they don't even make the list at all , and part of the healing journey has been learning how to check in with myself . Not just what does everyone else need from me right now , but what do I need today ? That question used to feel really selfish and now it feels like survival . I'm constantly checking in with myself . Sometimes the answer is journaling , sometimes it's a 10-minute walk by myself . Sometimes it's turning off my phone and taking a nap . Sometimes it's taking five minutes to go to the bathroom instead of holding it in all day . This isn't always glamorous , but it's what I need and I'm okay giving that to myself .

Speaker 1 7:53

Now I want to talk about a myth the myth that strong people don't need help . That if you need support you've somehow failed , that struggling means that you're not strong enough , but I want to flip that , because the truth is , strength is knowing when to ask for help . It's being able to say I can't do this all on my own . It's vulnerability , it's honesty , it's letting yourself be human . For me , therapy was really helpful . Journaling helped , talking

Myth Busting: Strength and Vulnerability

Speaker 1 8:24

openly about it with my friends , even if sometimes it felt a little awkward . It did help , though , and rest this is probably what helped me the most out of everything else .

Speaker 1 8:34

Mental health isn't about fixing yourself . You're not broken . You're already enough just as you are . It's about taking care of yourself . That's it . And no , you don't have to do it perfectly . You just have to keep showing up and taking small steps every day , and for me , that looked like saying no without explaining myself . I actually find opportunities to practice this . Pressing that send button when I haven't written a thesis about why I can't attend my friend's dog's birthday party can cause me anxiety , but I press send anyway , and lo and behold , the world doesn't fall apart just because I didn't give a huge explanation , and sometimes it looks like me taking five minutes to breathe when I feel overwhelmed . Sometimes I let things be good enough instead of aiming for perfection . These are all small things , but they've made a huge difference in how I feel day to day , and it's a daily reminder to keep working on myself , because these little tasks , they get easier and I can start working on tougher challenges as I get better at it .

Speaker 1 9:38

If you're listening to this and thinking , yep , I've been running on fumes , I want you to know that you're not alone . You don't have to wait until you crash to start caring about your mental health . You're allowed to slow down , you're allowed to rest , you're allowed to take care of yourself . So start small and start today , and remember that mental health isn't something that you fix and forget . It's something that you tend to like a garden , and the more that you care for it , the more that it grows , and you , my friend , are worth that care .

Speaker 1 10:10

I'm going to be trying to put out a few extra episodes in the next month for mental health awareness . I'm going to talk to you soon . Take care for now . Thank you for joining me and I hope today's podcast resonated with you . Click , like and subscribe so you don't miss any future episodes and to help others who might benefit . This podcast is not meant to provide medical advice and should

Small Daily Acts of Self-Care

Speaker 1 10:30

not replace seeing your doctor for mental health concerns . If you're having a mental health crisis , please present to a hospital , call 911 or your local crisis helpline . I'll talk to you next week for another episode of the Codependent Doctor . We can do this together .