The Dad Bods and Dumbbells Podcast
The hosts Mitch and Bart discuss fitness, fatherhood, and guy stuff to help men live a great life, have fun, laugh, and get a little more fit in this weekly Podcast.
The Dad Bods and Dumbbells Podcast
Quiet Battles: Men, Midlife, And Finding Community
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We unpack the quiet strain many men carry in midlife—loneliness, stress overflow at home, and the gap between outward discipline and inner connection. We trade the old chase for status and control for a new pursuit of presence, wisdom, and honest community.
• premium extras from our Optimize chat and a$50 monthly discount code
• marathon-as-a-tree plans, suits, and shifting timelines
• Bart’s national anthem moment and creative goals
• winter Olympics takes and the coming Enhanced Games
• why fitness can mask isolation and emotional load
• stress spillover and showing up better for family
• the pivot from achievement to contribution
• grieving old identities and shifting values
• radical responsibility in relationships
• therapy, men’s groups, and practical resets
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Welcome And Premium Extras
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Dab Bods and Dumbbells. My name is Mitch.
SPEAKER_03And I'm Bart.
SPEAKER_01Thanks so much for listening, liking, subscribing, and sharing. We're so grateful that you listen. If you haven't already listened to the episode of last week with our boys Jack and Nathan of Optimize, stop what you're doing. Go back, listen to it because it is an incredible, incredible podcast talking about exactly how to optimize your lifestyle, your physical physique, your mental physique, all the things that are physique. Uh, it covers that. It was pretty great, pretty great interview.
Optimize Partnership And Offer
SPEAKER_03And for our premium listeners, they got an extra 15 minutes with the boys from Optimize talking down and dirty about what they have, what they're taking, kind of what like things seem to be working the best, and just getting a like more of an in-depth view of that. So absolutely. Uh that check that out. If you're a premium member and you didn't get that immediately emailed to you already, uh let us know. But that should be in your inbox. So check that out too.
SPEAKER_01Beautiful. And if you're not a premium member, what's going on?
SPEAKER_03Man, get on the stick.
SPEAKER_01Check it out. You get all the extras. Nine dollars. Nine nine dollars? That's that's like two coffees. That's easy, easy work. Well, thank you guys for our premium subscribers. And if you're not, what's wrong with you? Uh, well, and if you haven't already checked out Optimize, make sure you check out their website. We got a code, dad bods and dumbbells, where you get$50 doll hairs off every month of whatever you get within their group. It's healthy, it's the best way to get what you need with peptides and a whole bunch of other services. They do blood work, they work with doctors. You'll be able to get it straight to your door. It's awesome. Check it out. Thank you guys so much.
Marathon As A Tree: Plans And Gear
SPEAKER_03Yeah, buddy. All right. So, hey, real quickly, uh, a couple of things coming up. Uh, what's in what's the status on the um running a marathon as a tree? Tree, yeah. When is that?
SPEAKER_01Okay, that's supposed to be the Austin Marathon, February 15th.
SPEAKER_03You can just punt it on another.
SPEAKER_01I punted it. I punted it, not because I'm not ready. I'm ready to do it.
SPEAKER_03From the Austin to the Boston marathon, probably.
SPEAKER_01Uh Austin's my favorite marathon, as all our listeners who've listened in the past know. It's the coolest experience. I just can't, I'm not, I'm not able to run it because of time. I just don't have the time to do it. I don't, I can't get the time off. So I'm going to punt it. I've uh put it in the city. Worst case scenario. Okay, worst case scenario, it's gonna be Austin Marathon 2027. Ooh, okay. Worst case.
SPEAKER_03What's best case?
SPEAKER_01Best case, Chicago Marathon, October.
SPEAKER_03Do you have to drive the tree up to the Chicago Marathon to use it?
SPEAKER_01So here's the other thing sourcing a tree suit is tough. So I have to kind of my wife's a seamstress. I gotta get a uh tree uh outline character, and then I gotta get nice polyester or whatever the one that is not bad for you when you get like sweaty. Yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_03I gotta get that kind of fabric, and she's you know what you could do. You should run a marathon right around Halloween and be like a scary spooky tree.
SPEAKER_01That's great. You know, actually, marathon to marathon in October is a great marathon I've run where you run, you go to Marathon, Texas, it's population 200, and they you get in a bus and they drive you 26.1, 26.2 miles away. You get off the bus and you run back to the town. That is literally what it is. That's valuable. They don't stop traffic. You are dodging cars. Figure it out. It is the coolest experience ever. Um, I got to do that one.
SPEAKER_03I can't imagine they're tree huggers up there. No, they might not be able to do it.
SPEAKER_01They might see a tree and then they're gonna see me and they'll be like, shh, you know, hopefully they'll pick up a lot of people. Good wood. What can we do? Yeah, so I think I don't know. Worst case scenario is gonna be Austin of 2027. Don't worry about it. Thanks for bringing putting me on the spot because I just let you know before we get on the book.
SPEAKER_03I wasn't trying to call you out on the Austin, but I I knew that I knew that it you got accepted to do it if you choose. So I want to do that.
SPEAKER_01And I do choose, I just need an outfit. I need an outfit and a date. And and honestly, sponsors would be great too because that would motivate me even more. Maybe Optimize.
SPEAKER_03Ooh, I should talk to Optimize. I wonder if there's any tree peptides.
SPEAKER_01Ooh, I wonder if I could run a marathon dressed as a peptide. What does a peptide look like? Just a syringe?
SPEAKER_00Dressed as a syringe. Of liquid.
Singing The National Anthem At UT
SPEAKER_03So a year for any of you that have been listening a while, maybe you remember this. I mentioned a year ago, we talked obviously when we got the idea to do the powerlifting show. And the other goal I had was to sing the national anthem at a at a sporting event. UT event. Well, I didn't say UT, but I said sporting event. I I impressed the but I the idea was UT. Yeah. Right. And so I reached out to UT. I sent in an audition video of me singing the national anthem. And I got a good fee, I got a response back, hey, sounds good. We'll we'll let you know. Yeah. The only time they reached out to me was be right before Mother's Day of last year, and I'd already had plans with the family for that. So I had to I had to deny their their request to have me sing the national anthem, which would have been amazing because it was like it was the UT baseball game on Mother's Day, and it was a big game because it was right or be right before the playoffs. Yeah. But anyway, I I didn't do it, so I heard nothing. So I was like, and then beginning of this year in the fall, I sent another email, no response. Oof. Just saying, hey, I'm still here, love to do it, no response. So I just thought to myself, okay, I had my moment, I had my own. You know, it would be a simp. You want to take it easy. Yeah, I was like, okay, I'm just gonna anyway. Like three weeks ago, I get an email. Hey, we've got five baseball games coming up. Pick one that you want to sing the national anthem at, let us know. Oh, hell yeah. And I was like, oh, snap, I'm back. So I I reached out, I said, Hey, there's one on uh Sunday the the 15th, which is uh which will has already happened. It's already happened. When it's podcast come out, but it has a great job, Bart. You did great nailed it. No, but it's the uh 12 o'clock game. It's actually so the awesome marathon happens in the morning, yeah, which I am not gonna be running in. And then and then I'll sing the national last minute at 1155 right before the the baseball game. My wife and son are gonna go, it's gonna be fun. That's so fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and then you get a jersey with your name on it.
SPEAKER_03I don't I doubt they're going to be.
SPEAKER_01It'd be cool if they give you like a number one. Wait, what was your uh basketball jersey number?
SPEAKER_03Oh, 33. Dude, no, 32, sorry, 32.
SPEAKER_0132. 33 would be cooler because it's a brood. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Anyway, so that's that's coming up. That's cool because that's kind of a bucket list thing, but it's like I just putting myself out there for performing and doing doing more stuff in the arts.
SPEAKER_01You know what would be really cool, Bart is if you shared your uh audition video to our premium subscribers.
SPEAKER_03That would be why don't I share the actual singing to the national anthem? Get Val the video it, that'd be cool. So, yeah, so we'll send that to premium.
Winter Olympics And Enhanced Games
SPEAKER_01I bet it's gonna be great. Proud of you, man. That's awesome. America. I love America, so it's perfect. It's perfect. How about those uh winter Olympics too?
SPEAKER_03I haven't been watching. You haven't watched any? I watched a little bit on like the like the tough watch.
SPEAKER_01We're not that good. So there's like, okay, figure skating, we kind of do what we're doing. I love America, but it's tough.
SPEAKER_03Uh Lindsay Vaughn, is that her name? Lindsay Vaughn Crash.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, she's she's old, she's of my age.
SPEAKER_03Um are you offended by you know that when they when they say, hey, I'm a little bit upset at like how America is right now. Like, I'm like, does that bother you? You wouldn't like that that they get into it Yeah, I think it's BS, it's stupid. And it's like Come on, guys.
SPEAKER_01You're representing America, you either have pride or don't. Like, you don't have to be like, oh, of course we don't all love everything we do unless you're crazy. Like, yeah, there's things that we do, there's things that the government does that I hate. It doesn't mean that I'm not happy to be an American. Like, let's freaking go.
SPEAKER_03I don't think they said they're not happy to be American.
SPEAKER_01Oh, but they're all like, oh, political statements. Just leave that. Leave it, leave it. You know, the Olympics was established.
SPEAKER_03The funny part is the Olympics are not sponsored by the United States government at all. Yeah. There's zero, there's zero involvement. The government just gives no money to the Olympic athletes or training or anything.
SPEAKER_01Well, they do if they win a goal. No, they don't. They win. They get money, they get bonuses from the medals, but I don't know if that's a U.S. Olympic committee or not. Anyway.
Isolation In Midlife Men
SPEAKER_03Speaking of that, I'm excited about the enhanced games coming up in May or June. Is it actually happening? It's happening. It's like it's in Vegas. It's only like five or six events. I love that. It's like the 100-meter dash. I think 100, 200. There's boxing, I think, and there's a there's only like events where like how many heart attacks? We're super strength. Over 100, two and a half heart attacks. I can't wait to see it. I love it. I will be all in. It feels like the running man. Remember the original Running Man, like where they're just like climbing for dollars, and like they have like I'm reading, I'm reading that book right now, too.
SPEAKER_01The Running Man? Yeah. Oh, cool. Because uh it's a great book. Yeah, it's really good. Isn't it uh Stephen King? Yes, yeah, good call, dude.
SPEAKER_03Dude, I because but I when I was a huge Arnold fan, you know, grew up in the 80s, and I used to read the books uh before the movie would come out because it was like it was I was like I loved it. So I'd like I remember when uh Total Recall came out, yeah, and I read the book. Total Recall is a book, yeah. I mean it was it was it was so there was you know, it's probably a book based on the movie, but they also wrote some other yeah aspects it that they couldn't explain in the movie, like the whole alien civilization on Mars and all that. Nice. Um but anyway, it was just it was it was a fun way for me to like nerd nerd out on like Arnold stuff.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so I started writing fan fiction about John Wick. Is that nerdy? I don't know. It's it's it's it's it's very fan, it's it's definitely in the fandom because I think we need to understand the origin of John Wick, and I would really like to see a movie about him growing up, how he got to the orphanage that trained him. Anyway, that's great.
SPEAKER_03That's a I think it's a great thing. Thank you.
SPEAKER_01I think that would be a great movie. I think it'd be a great book, but I've been writing about it. Don't worry, I got my own theory, so I'll share that with uh the premium subscribers only. Okay, how about that? The premium, you guys, nine bucks is getting a lot.
SPEAKER_03This is a baller.
SPEAKER_01Well, I wanted to talk a little bit about today. I appreciate the banter. There's a lot to talk about, but in particular, I I think a few things personally I've been dealing with, but also dealing with, you know, I have a lot of 40-year-old friends in the mid-40s, men, and what I think a common theme is with men my age and maybe our age is a little bit of an isolation, is a little bit of a kind of silent struggle. And I think we kind of put that all into a big bucket called mental health, and men are struggling with mental health. And I I think yes, there is a mental health issue, but I don't necessarily know if it's that extreme. Because when I was telling you before, like a little pre-show when we were going through this, um, little look inside, it wasn't about like I've ever thought about suicide, like it's not that deep. It's not mental health to the point of harming oneself, but more of just the isolation that comes with being a man. And I think there is this silent suffering that's happening, and I I not to say that it doesn't happen with women, but men in particular that I interact with, there's a there's a struggle for community. And and I think that's the solution is a lot of times men just need another man to talk about, but how unlikely are we to ever get together? Um, we do a podcast together so that we can actually spend time together. We we spend no other time out there.
SPEAKER_03And maybe the most important reason, like, hey, we'll just do a podcast episode. That way we can hang out. Yeah, exactly.
Fitness Masking Emotional Strain
SPEAKER_01It's like I need to after we started, you know, because there was so far away. There was a time gap of like 10 years where Bart and I were friends, but we never spoke. Yeah, and then we started doing podcasts, and I was like, dude, I just want to do this so that I can touch base and see you. Um, so I think there's a there is a real epidemic, and I I think I've harped on this before, but there really is an issue with men being isolated and alone, and I think a little alienated in the family aspect as well, because I feel like there's this I call it in my life, I kind of call it a cup in my heart, right? That just fills up, fills up, fills up, and at some point my cup can't hold anymore. And it's whether it's stress, whether it's the the dealing with all the different issues or anything like that. And then at what point when the cup overflows in a bad way, because there's a cup overflowing in goodness, right? Cup overflows in a bad way, where does that go? Where does that energy go? And usually in my life, it goes towards my family in a bad way. Is they're the ones closest to me, they're the ones nearest to me. So they get the brunt of my stress, my my anxiety, my issues of in a lot of ways, just unresolved anxiety, unresolved stress, unresolved issues. And they get the brunt of that. And that's not a healthy thing. And it's not every day, it's usually boils up over a month, typically for me. And the more and more men I talk to, it is the silent struggle I think that we have where we really do need to get a uh a cap or a uh we really do need to get a handle on it because I think what it's doing is that's why there's so much divorce in the 40s. Uh that's why there's so much unhappiness. I mean, that's why there's so much suicide in our age group. Like it it really does feel like it is an isolating, alone feeling without really much resolve or solutions to it. Um so I just wanted to talk about that a little bit.
SPEAKER_03I I think it's a great topic. And I, you know, you and I were talking about kind of this episode being kind of beyond the b the dumbbells or beyond the the physique. You know, because I think a lot of times people when when people are on are mentally like not in a good space and then their physical health suffers, it's very easy to see, oh, they put on weight, they don't look good, they look tired, they're you know, they're low energy. But when somebody is struggling with mental health or just struggling with isolation, but they're also fit super obsessed about their fitness, yeah, it's harder to see because a lot of times other people will see the fitness and they project oh, that person's got it all together. If I was like that, I would feel great too, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, if I was like that, my wife would love me.
SPEAKER_03I had a six-pack. Dot dot dot.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I and and honestly.
SPEAKER_03Oh, by the way, guys, just a heads up. Uh your wives do not care about your six packs.
SPEAKER_01They do care about your bellies in a bad way. Heads up. Find a happy medium, guys.
SPEAKER_02Somewhere in the middle. Well, just a little dad bot is fine.
Stress Overflow And Family Impact
SPEAKER_01Yeah, a little cute, cute dad bot. A little pedge. Just get in the gym, it's fine. Uh, but don't isolate and find yourself alone. Uh, I think a lot of hat has to do with that we see men, because there's a lot, the majority of men our age, it seems like, are working more people are working out, they're drinking less, they're eating more healthy because they see that as the trend. It's the disciplined trend. At least I don't know if I'm just surrounded by people like that, but that's really seems to be the trend right now. So there's less people in that realm of like depressed eating, I'm sad, so I'm gonna let my body show it. So what it what it feels like is happening is we feel out of control. We can't control the people around us, we can't control our relationships, but we can control our discipline, we can't control our physiques, we can't control the output. And I again I think this is a great thing, but where I think we miss, and what I've and this is a survey of uh probably a dozen men that I've spoken to over the this month, uh the the issue isn't the lack of discipline, the issue is lack of understanding emotion. I think I think it what it has to do, and I say this because this is most of the stuff we talk about is always my personal struggle. So you can always point it back to something I'm dealing with. But I feel like where I thought I was strong was my emotional maturity, and what I'm realizing is where I what I lack the most is emotional maturity.
Midlife Transition: From Achievement To Wisdom
SPEAKER_03Well, I think too, we're we can be strong at something but also like limited in our in in like what we are identifying. Like emotional maturity is just a word is like a word that that means like all emotions. Yeah. But we may be very mature emotionally around our male relationships or our workplace dynamics, or you know, in public situations, we've got a great control over our emotions and we're we're very like kind of just easy, but we may not have control over our ability to not react when you know, like, you know, distress overwhelms us. Or like, hey, I I can feel very in control and like on top of things when life is going pretty well. But like, you know, I like all of a sudden finances are tough, or yeah, you know, my my kid was just in a um play at Austin High School. It was amazing, but it was like we just became theater parents for like a month where it's like we were just shuttling him back and forth to Austin High at a theater, you know, he was getting home at 11 p.m. on like performance nights, and you know, and it was just like it was like, oh crap, like this is a lot harder to be cool and even keeled and have great responses to you know to our each other, to you know, and so it it's easy to feel like you've got things under control when the the dynamics of your life are are are kind of calm. Yeah. When things start to pop up when that when you're when you feel like the stress is starting to overflow or kind of pour over, and then you're all of a sudden you may not feel that way. So my my thought on all this being kind of 10 years older is what what was what probably helped people successfully get to 40 is probably not what's gonna help you get through 60. And uh you know, there's a great book um from strength to strength, and it's actually a Christian book that was given to me by a mentor of mine. The guy talks about how like the the six you know, people that are really great in sales and very driven in their 20s and 30s, by the time they get into their 40s it's important to start looking into it. Leadership, mentorship, like being somebody who has wisdom and experience to pass on. Yeah, because otherwise, if you're just trying to run that program over and over, you start burning out, you're not as good as you were, your brain is not as quick as the 25-year-old who's coming in and he's beating you in the sales goal. I feel that. And yeah, so a sales scenario is the easiest way to kind of see that, okay? You're you're you're the hot shot sales guy in your company in your 20s and 30s, but all of a sudden you're 45, you got a family, you're like all these stresses, and you're kind of you're like feeling like you're getting left behind. And the answer is not to like dig your heels in and like and it's to like start to learn how to transition out of what made you successful in the first half of your life into like a place where you get to really leverage your wisdom and experience. Yeah. I take that and I look at a like a personal life and say, you know, the the the early part of your life you were trying to find a mate, you were trying to get your businesses going or or you know, develop uh an expertise in something and kind of achieve. There's a lot very achievement focused. Yeah. And now you're in a place, you know, especially or I'll speak speak for myself. I'm in a place where, you know, right now I'm looking ahead, going like the things that matter, like the quality moments, the quality of life, the vacations we can be going on, the family stuff, the you know, seeing my son, you know, do be successful in the things that he's interested in doing, um much less so in like you know, like growing my personal training business or or having some like high achievement and other things. Like I'm just not those things don't interest me as much anymore. And but I think if you people that feel isolated, I think sometimes you gotta ask yourself, like, are you trying to hold on to something that was valuable but when you were you know five or ten years ago that no longer serves you? And that's like I mean, I I I think everyone has to ask that question, like are is part of the reason you feeling uh isolated or empty, or is like you're trying to you know, you're like trying to hit the same button thinking you're gonna get the same responding and it's just not it doesn't feel the same.
Letting Go Of Old Identities
SPEAKER_01Well, what I've noticed that's a very good insight. What I've noticed with myself is I've lost it it's the shift that has to happen within uh just losing. Losing yourself in a lot of respects is what I thought I was going to be is not what I am. And I think for me personally, and I've had moments can I sorry, can I cut you up?
SPEAKER_03What did you think you were going to be?
SPEAKER_01Uh it's gonna sound stupid, but I I thought I was gonna be famous. Now, what does that mean exactly? Uh I didn't know how or or what it would look like, but like I had a real thought that I was going to be known. And maybe that's better, known uh on a broader scale. And you know, looking back, I've had moments um where I thought, oh, I'm close, or I'm about to get there, or maybe I'm not going to be there, but I can be this. And for me, I'm I've been kind of trying to play catch up to the fact that, well, what if in your 30s into your early 40s, what if the things don't look like what you thought they were? You're kind of playing catch up all the time. And then if you have to start over or change something up, it's a lot bigger gap than if you were in your 20s and 30s. It it's a lot bigger lift because driving your kids from one event to the other while you're trying to hold on to maybe driving this forward, it's tough. And it creates a lot of burnout and it creates a lot of stress. And it it's more of an internal stress. I I don't know if it's a stressor in the sense of like what real stress looks like. It's an internal stress of going, how do I grieve what I thought I'd be? And also, how do I be grateful for what I have? Maybe that's the issue.
SPEAKER_03But what is it about being famous that is attractive to you?
Relationships, Accountability, And Growth
SPEAKER_01Well, I don't know if fame is attractive, but I've always felt like I wanted influence. So, you know, when I was 18, when my dad asked me what I want to do for a living, I was like, I want to be famous. That's what I told him. And, you know, it's stupid, 18-year-old dream, but what does that really mean? I didn't want to be an actor. I can't really perform in front of a camera camera, but I didn't want to be a comedian. Like, I didn't want all the things that you think fame goes to. What I just thought I would have was more influence.
SPEAKER_03So But now your dad had influence.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, at a smaller scale. I mean, yeah, I could see myself.
SPEAKER_03Wasn't he wasn't he a big deal in the church?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, oh yeah, but that's a smaller scale. Like the church is not a good idea.
SPEAKER_03You're you wanted you wanted like global significance.
SPEAKER_01I had, you know, there was a moment in time where I remember being at a conference, you know, I was in family ministry, so I was I was at a high scale, high level, and I was at a conference that I've always wanted to be invited to, always wanted to do. And I was standing around talking to people after I spoke at that conference to like talk to them about oh, they were asking me questions. And I look up and I see this long line of people waiting to talk to me. And I remember thinking, and it was like this huge moment, and this is kind of where I decided to step out of ministry. Was I said, Well, this is it, this is the peak, this is the pinnacle that I've created. So this is as far as I can go. And I hit that moment and I said, Well, that's not what I wanted. That's not what I imagined. That's not like, and so that was my first crisis of like, okay, well, what am I going to do? And what I hoped would happen was I would find a place where maybe I can, maybe I can elevate people of fame or close to fame that I believe in that can I can elevate them to be influential.
SPEAKER_03And then you can rise.
Therapy, Vulnerability, And Closing
SPEAKER_01And I can rise with them, not in the sense of like, I'm famous, but now maybe I'm not supposed to be famous or influential. Maybe I am the builder of influence. Yeah, so I am the guy that is finding people that can be the next whatever. Right. And so that's why I got into events, that's why I got into brand, that's why I got into literary. Was I'm gonna find the next big name. I'm gonna be the person that puts them on a pedestal so that the world can see them the right way. And that's what it came to. So the shift was, and you've been with me with all these phases, so you understand like what I'm describing. And then there's also a phase that this is where the silent isolation, the silent death of a man comes, is there comes a point when you realize none of those things will happen. And yes, you can be the top 1%, you can be the top whatever percent of the world you're in. It's just like being a football player and going, I'm gonna be in the NFL. So you're telling me you're gonna be the 0.1% of the world, right? You know, like that's a great dream, good for you, work really hard, but that likelihood of that happening is not, and there is a point in your late 30s, early 40s when you realize, oh, that's not gonna happen. And then you also have the moment of fuck, what do I do? Right. Like that's what I experienced was like, oh shit, I have to do something. Right, I can't keep holding on to what I've known or looking back at the past, what I've done. I have to just move forward. And I think a lot of men are in a place where they need to just move forward, let go, move forward. Whatever that is, it's just a toxic marriage. I am not a proponent of divorce. I will never say get divorced. But if you're in a world where you can't and your wife and your spouse cannot come together in some mutual agreement of love and appreciation and find a way to build each other up, it's toxic. So I'm okay going, get out of that toxic relationship. But have intention behind it. Because what happens is dudes like us, we get out of our marriages and we find a 30-year-old or we find whatever that's like, oh, she thinks I'm fucking awesome, so she's gonna make me feel better. Well, no, you've just enabled, you've just gone from a coh uh a codependent relationship to another codependent relationship. Like, that's what happens.
SPEAKER_03If if it truly is a I want to be a better man, men that say that are going to stay in marriages that they at one point felt like it's like you're you you're better off figuring out how to show up the way like you like the best version of yourself in that marriage than breaking the marriage, you know, divorcing the person and then going to try to find another person and being able to be smart enough to not see all the same exact patterns. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01And that's what that's the human condition is we do that to ourselves. We continually cycle and cycle and cycle.
SPEAKER_03Well, a lot of times we tell us we tell ourselves stories of like, oh, it's because of this, or oh, she's this, or I'm this, or we can't this, or yeah, or whatever.
SPEAKER_01But um I'm gonna I'm gonna tell I'm gonna tell the truth to every man listening. Yeah. Um, I'm gonna tell the truth to every man listening. She is not the problem. Yeah. We are.
SPEAKER_03Well look at that. We and we are all the the individual is always the person that has the most control over the outcome of their life. And if if you know, if a relationship isn't isn't going the way you want it to, take a hard look at yourself. Yep. Figure out like, am I loving my spouse, my my wife, the way that she's asking me to to love her? Yeah. Am I showing up, am I prior putting her and the family first? Or is it all about me, my work, my fitness, my hobbies, whatever? And those are the only things I care about, and everything else is secondary. If that is, if that feels like it might be the case, I guarantee she's unhappy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I guarantee.
SPEAKER_03Women know when they're not like you can put God up there, but like family has got to be above like your hobbies, yeah, your your six-pack, your bodybuilding show, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever goal you set for the year.
SPEAKER_01Deep cuts from Bart. Yeah. Yeah. So I I think it starts with saying there's an isolation, there's a silent death that's happening with men. I think what it comes down to is the things that you dislike, the things that you are falling out of love with, the things that you're unhappy about, look within yourself. Because the truth is a lot of the things that need to change are you. Not a better six-pack, not more discipline, not running more miles. It has a lot to do with finding a way to love, even though it's different. And there's shifts and change in every phase of life, and finding that love and acceptance is so, so important. Don't give up, find a friend, find a community, work out together, challenge each other to be hard be better, challenge each other to work harder, but love your family deeper.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and I I also think that getting yourself connected with a therapist. 100%. I mean, because right now, most therapy is either subsidized or completely free with uh with healthcare. Um and just to have that person that you can go touch base with share, because you need to figure out how to be vulnerable and emotionally available to the people you love. And if you are not, if you are a big wall of muscle and and and protect so tough, look at you, tough guy.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, who's so proud of you? I'm saying this outwardly, but I'm talking to myself, yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like um that like it's not gonna work. Yeah, like like it's you know, there's nobody so impressive of Zeke that their family or their or or their friends are going to just like let everything else go. He's an asshole.
SPEAKER_01Have you seen him with his shirt off? Uh yeah.
SPEAKER_03We gotta wrap this up today.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I will definitely, and I think you're right about the therapist. I've tried them all. BetterHelp is actually a really good one. Hopefully, they'll sponsor us because uh I've gone on to BetterHelp. It's cheap, it's easy, and you can you can meet with therapists at any time it's convenient. Um, that that helped me a lot. That changed me a lot, and it helped with stress and issues and family and work. Um, be encouraged, be loved. We love you guys. Thank you so much for listening, liking, subscribing. If you're not a premium member, uh you know what? Just move on with your life because you're never going to be successful.
SPEAKER_03You know, I I've learned that guilting people into doing stuff works every day.
SPEAKER_01Hey, dude, I come from the church world. It works, baby. I bet it does.
SPEAKER_03But guys, hey, great, great that you're listening. I hope this was helpful. I think sometimes it's just good to hear that there is a community of people out there that are going through the same thing we were going through. And um, anything to share with us, any any comments, please reach out. Emails uh available in the show notes, and we'll we'll talk to you next time. See ya. Peace.