The Dad Bods and Dumbbells Podcast
The hosts Mitch and Bart discuss fitness, fatherhood, and guy stuff to help men live a great life, have fun, laugh, and get a little more fit in this weekly Podcast.
The Dad Bods and Dumbbells Podcast
Body Dysmorohia, the NBA, Olympics, and Barton’s 51st Birthday
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We celebrate checked-off goals at 51, from a powerlifting meet to singing the national anthem, then pivot to a real talk breakdown of body dysmorphia versus everyday insecurity. Peptides, recovery, sports highs, and a four-jar balance check give listeners tools they can use now.
• sponsor shoutouts and peptide basics for recovery and fat loss
• bloodwork-led protocols and first steps
• hitting age-50 goals and managing performance nerves
• Rivian sport mode update and joy of smart upgrades
• Olympic hockey highs and NBA reality checks
• clinical definition of body dysmorphia and warning signs
• mirror culture, compulsive training, and community support
• personal stories of bullying, weight, and identity
• four jars framework for weekly life balance
• practical cues for rest, nutrition, training, and perspective
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Welcome & Sponsor Shoutouts
SPEAKER_01Welcome to Dad Bods and Dumbbells. My name's Mitch. Hey, I'm Bart. Thanks so much for listening, liking, subscribing, and sharing. We love you guys. Thank you to all our premium members. If you're not a premium member, what's going on? Come on, get it together and join us. We're so grateful for you guys. Uh, we are also grateful to our sponsor, Optimize. Optimize is the place to get your peptides, anything you need if you're feeling like, hey, my hair's losing. I'm losing my hair. I need to see some gains in the gym. Check out Optimize. Use the code DADBODS and dumbbells at checkout. Get a nice bump and discount. Uh, check out Optimize. We love those guys.
SPEAKER_00And I think I'd also say on this, is like if you're if you're kind of new to the the peptide space, what I would recommend, especially if you have any kind of like chronic pain or just like shoulder stuff or low back or anything that's like kind of you just kind of can't quite shake, is like try to reach out to those guys. Maybe get on some BPC 157, which is the most utilized peptide out there. It's I mean, like, I don't I there's very few athletes that aren't using it in some way to like help them with like injury recovery, BJJ guys, things like that. That's a really easy one. And maybe get a little blend with that and some other like uh just triceptide, like or just or even like the like weight loss, yeah. Yeah, like Tesla Morlin or something like that for like uh just recovery and you know just improving uh growth hormone release during sleep, that kind of stuff. I love it. That could be a really easy intro to help you just feel better and more capable of like going to the gym and doing well, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_01So and they will go blood work, you'll get blood work from a doctor, and then you can figure out what you're lacking, and they can make a special customized module for you so you're not sticking yourself with 14 different needles, just one to get everything you need. Thank you, Optimize, for sponsoring. Check out Optimize. Uh, use the code DADBODS and dumbbells for a steep discount.
Bloodwork, Custom Protocols, Discounts
Birthday Goals Hit: Powerlifting & Anthem
SPEAKER_00Yep, definitely. All right, let's get into it.
SPEAKER_01Well, on today's episode, we are about to celebrate uh my favorite 50-year-old's birthday, who will be 51 next week. Yep.
SPEAKER_00Turn 51 next week. Dang, son. I can't even believe it. It this year has gone by really, really fast. And it's funny because last year, when I was about to turn 50, I had two big goals. One was to do a powerlifting show. The second was to sing the national anthem at a UT sporting event.
SPEAKER_01Uh, and how's that going?
SPEAKER_00That happened a week and a half ago. Let's go, man. So, so officially before I turned uh 51, I have checked both of the big boxes.
SPEAKER_01Good for you, man. Yeah.
Inside The Anthem Performance
SPEAKER_00And it's not, you know, people ask me, like, hey, are you gonna do this all the time? And I'm like, you know, it'll be cool if they asked me to come back and do it again. Uh, but it was really like a one of those things like I wanted to do it. I knew it would be a test, I knew it would be, you know, just like kind of something I used to do. I used to when I was in college, I would sing the national anthem like uh at uh Cal State Northridge at different events, and it just was fun to do. It was kind of a you know, it's how do you get together? So let me let me break it down. So it was cool. We got there about an hour and a half early. My wife and son and I were there. They brought us up to the booth, um, met all the like kind of the guys. Oh, that's cool. And then we had a sound check where we just kind of went down, not quite on the field, but like lower, you know, lower deck and just just use the mic, kind of get a sense for like how loud it is and like the reverb and that kind of stuff. Uh and that was and then we then I just kind of waited around for about an hour and did they give you a jersey with your name on it?
SPEAKER_01Nah, no.
SPEAKER_00But they uh they just they're like okay, about five minutes before the the you know 12 noon, you know, we're gonna like you and I are gonna walk down there to the onto the field, and then once they make the announcement, they're like, and singing our national anthem will be Barton Guy Brian, and then we walk out and it's just go time. It's like who say can you see? You know, and it's a great start. And then and uh and I I was like, you know, somebody who I don't sing that much anymore, like my low notes are fine, they're very resonant, but my high notes are probably a little bit like where does it get high? What's that?
SPEAKER_01And the rock yeah, so it always depends.
SPEAKER_00It depends on where this is getting into the weeds here, but it depends on what note you start on, right? Because it's a it's almost a two-octave song. So if you start low, so oh see, then then you're like, and the rockets red leand. It's like a B or a B flat or something like that. But if you sing, if you start like, oh say can you? Dang, you're in trouble. And you start screaming, in big trouble, right? Right. You don't want to do that. So I had a little pitch pipe too. I was like, so give my like you pitch piped yourself? Yeah, nice. But yeah, so it went well. I will tell you, when it first started, I did not expect so much like echoing like sound coming back at me because you're because I'm actually not facing the audience, I'm facing the outfield where the flag is and where the jumbotrons are showing my face because someone as close as you is holding a big camera up in front of you. That's so nervous, and then you're just getting this like sheet of sound, like, oh, so I'm singing, oh second, and it's we're like a half a second behind going, oh second, and it's like boom. How do you deal with that? You just turn off the brain, like you have to just sing and not listen. And that was like so. It took me a couple seconds into the song, and I'm like, oh, I just need to like sing and turn any other part of the brain off that isn't like that is a distraction.
SPEAKER_01How would you be able to keep a tune if you're hearing the reverb of yourself? Well, I mean that seems like that would be awful.
SPEAKER_00I it it that's that's just the that's the that's the work. That's just perfect. That's the profession here. But you know, and I I I did well. I mean, I got you know, so it was cool. I got some good feedback.
SPEAKER_01You got a standing ovation from America for America. I did not get a standing ovation.
SPEAKER_00But I mean, I it was cool. The like the um the UT coaches like shook my hand. Oh, that's cool. Great job, loved it. Like, I think it was cool that they had and they probably don't have a lot of like low-voice male singers coming out there and like singing like I do. So it was a different bit of a different take on the anthem versus like some you know soprano coming up there and like you know, singing it, which is beautiful, but probably what they hear more often, yeah. Right.
SPEAKER_01So we need to get you on an Austin FC game, dude.
Next Goal: Austin FC Stage
SPEAKER_00That would be that would be a that would be baller. That that would be the that's the next goal.
SPEAKER_01We gotta talk to Mayor Steve Adler. I'll call my boy over there that's VP and just get it going.
SPEAKER_00Start making that thing happen.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_00I'm in.
SPEAKER_01Well, congrats, dude.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it was fun. You hit all your goals, hit my goals.
SPEAKER_01So you're just gonna coast this week and just rest on your laurels? Goalless, goalless, just wandering around goalless for so what's 50, what's year 52? What what are the things, what are the big rocks you're gonna you're gonna focus on?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, this year it really is like really big memory moments with my family. So, like spring break, we're looking at like going down to Terralingua and and camping and oh sick, big band, man. Taking the Riv, the old Rivian. Oh yeah, now's the time.
SPEAKER_01Let's take that puppy out somewhere crazy.
Rivian Update And Sport Mode Surprise
SPEAKER_00Uh shout out to Rivian. Check this out. So when I bought my Rivian, it didn't come with the performance package because that was an extra$5,000 to add to the list. Yeah, no way. I'm like, I'm I'm good. Not falling for it. But what I didn't realize is when you don't get a performance package, you don't get the sport mode. And so, like, I have all like kind of all terrain mode and like all like just regular driving mode and like snow mode, but no like sport like handling mode. Yeah, and so it was a little bit of a bummer because when you when you uh you know test drive a car, you know, they obviously make you test drive like one of the nicer ones with has all the bells and whistles. Yeah, and I'm like, ah, that's a bummer. Well, uh a week and a half ago, there's a there's a update that comes through snap. Oh my god, I get sport mode all of a sudden, I'm glad I didn't pay the five thousand dollars because all of a sudden now I have the sport mode and it is faster. It is uh sport mode's the real deal, man. Pickup is awesome. It just it just adds another like fun element to the driving experience. And so Rivian is just hitting it out of the park, man. I just I'm a fan and I'm a I'm a promoter.
SPEAKER_01You're gay for Rivian. Let's go.
SPEAKER_00By the way, if you're interested in getting a Rivian, there's a promo code. It's my like it's my Rivian code. So if you use that, you get like 500 Rivian points when you purchase a vehicle. And I also get like 500 Rivian points if you purchase the vehicle. I'm adding it today because I think no, it's like Bart and Brian and then like a bunch of numbers. So it'll that's my remote.
SPEAKER_01Let me guess. 42734.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna check the show notes. Check the show notes.
SPEAKER_00Let's move on. We gotta get to stuff that people matters. Yeah, we care about it.
SPEAKER_01Happy birthday. Thank you, bud. I love it. What people care about is the USA, baby. I'm wearing my United States of America shirt. Yes, let's go. How about that hockey team, man? The most we had the most you didn't watch any of it?
SPEAKER_00Are we gonna talk about Cash Patel just drinking beer and partying with the hockey team?
SPEAKER_01Dude, you don't have to make it political. It's the US of A, bitch. We we got the most goals ever in a Winter Olympics, and we own hockey now. We own hockey. Yeah. As well as every other sport in the world. We don't own curling.
SPEAKER_00We'll own curling soon. It's coming. The Canadians cheated. We don't own downhill skiing or or jumping or something. It's coming. It's coming. No, we we had we we started those events. Those are like kind of our There are things. Yeah, Sean Sean White and all those guys that like brought that.
SPEAKER_01That's tough. It will come back. But we own hockey. The women's hockey team got gold, the boys' hockey team got gold.
USA Pride And Olympic Hot Takes
SPEAKER_00This is perfect because you clearly watched a lot of the Winter Olympics. I watched nothing. All I did was watch Alyssa Lee Liu get gold. She's a figure skater. Yeah. Amazing performance. Amazing. She looked like she was just like having fun on the ice, no, no, no stress. Like it was incredible. Yeah. But uh I saw that too. But uh yeah, I I thought I'd be more bought in. I wasn't bought in this year.
SPEAKER_01Okay, here's the thing. Let me tell let me just give you a summary. The USA rocks and everybody else stinks. So that is the summary.
SPEAKER_00So have we officially made America great again? Can we move on now?
SPEAKER_01Hey, dude, just so you know, we crushed the Olympics. So all you haters out there about the US, I feel like nobody hates. I don't know. I'm just feeling like I feel like there's a little hate towards the U.S. Maybe we need to talk about this. Maybe we need to call UT and get you off of that list to get you on the national anthem. What a date. Just self-reflection.
SPEAKER_00So what you're saying is if anybody has a dissenting view of anything related to the United States, that we're going to be pulled out of the contention for doing things like that. 100%. Okay, just be clear. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01In your perspective, on what I'm very clear. I'm confused.
SPEAKER_00Sounds a bit like the totalitarian rule, but uh I'm good with that.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I'm not ruling anything, I'm just saying this is how it works, Bart Barton. 51-year-old Barton.
SPEAKER_00If you're listening to this and you're having a good time with it, uh chime in. Send us, send us an email. Let us know what I love you, buddy. I love you and your little liberal views. USA. USA.
SPEAKER_01USA rocks. Uh best. So I watched uh the the men's final happened. It was like 7 a.m. I turned it on. I had to go to work. It was Sunday morning. Watched the first two periods, and they were just like Canada was rocking us. There was at one point two Americans in the penalty box, so it was like 5v3. They held them off, forgot about it, went to work, and somebody at work was like, Hey, did you guys see the U.S. hockey team? I was like, Oh, I'm sure it's over. I pull it up on YouTube TV on my computer, and I get to see the golden goal by Jack Hughes. Just pass, boom, goal, wins the Olympic gold medal. The best experience ever. Get you excited. Got my goosebumps. It's pretty great. You missed it, and that's okay. That's okay. That's okay.
SPEAKER_00I don't really watch hockey to begin with.
SPEAKER_01I don't either, but it made me a hockey fan. It was pretty freaking awesome.
SPEAKER_00I love that.
From Hockey Highlights To NBA Pulse Check
SPEAKER_01It's pretty so what so, Bart, why don't we talk about something you do love and follow? NBA. What's going on in the NBA? Because I have no idea. All right.
SPEAKER_00LeBron's still playing. Bronny still stinks. LeBronny, Bronny does not play. He's he's uh they don't really have time for him anymore. Is he in the G League or is he riding the I think he's probably riding the bench and playing a little bit of G League? I think the G League ends right around now.
SPEAKER_01It's only like so he's just in a guy wearing street clothes type thing.
SPEAKER_00Um but let's not okay, I'll give you a quick snippet on the Lakers. They're not very good. Luca, LeBron, Austin Reeves, and they just there's no defense going on. There's not they're just not fat. Like when they play Where are they playing? They're fifth in the West. Damn. But like they're just when they play like the Celtics or the Spurs. There's no way or you just you just see it. Like they're not fast enough. They're not there, they don't have like uh the the team doesn't hustle for rebounds or like loose ball. They just they just and I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's like because they all think that Luke and LeBron can like put bail them out of everything, but anyway, it's just they're not that good. So let's not get excited about the Lakers going a lot deep into the playoffs this year. It ain't gonna happen.
SPEAKER_01Where's LeBron going after this year?
SPEAKER_00I don't know. I'm not worried about it.
SPEAKER_01I would really love for him to not do what Kobe did, may he rest, but where he did a whole year of just yeah, like a parade of like highlight videos. Like, give me a break, guys.
SPEAKER_00Well, I think it would be great for him to go to take a minimum, like you know, uh middle of exception or whatever the like veterans generate minimum and go to uh like an East Coast go back to Cleveland, Cleveland, maybe everybody's been talking about that.
SPEAKER_01I just don't see that happen. James Harden's on that team?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, he got traded to Cleveland.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you don't know what's going on. I don't have a clue. Let me just give you that. Let's get relevance here. Okay. Who cares about LeBron right now? He's not relevant right now. Oh the Spurs have beaten the Thunder four times this year. Really? Four times. Wembeat. And the Detroit Pistons, shout out to Luke Walton, my cousin, who's also their assistant coach. Oh, I didn't know Luke was on the first in the East, they have the best record in the NBA, and they've just beat the Thunder.
SPEAKER_01So what's their game? Is it defense? Is it like classic ace or play? It's all of it.
SPEAKER_00They're good offense, they're good defense, they're they're the elite, you know, they're talented, they're they're long and tall, and they've got just great team chemistry. But the Spurs, I think the Spurs and the teams to beat right now are the Spurs and the and the Pistons. But Boston is right there and like second in the East, and and Jalen uh Jason Tatum is about to come back. So you put that team they already have right now that's already and then they whooped uh the Lakers ass. Just whooped on them. So, and that was you know, with like the you know, without Jason Tatum. So you put Jason Tatum and you get in that chemistry works, like you could I could see them going all the way. So there's just like there's about four teams. I think the Nuggets are there, the the uh Spurs go Nuggets and the Thunder from the from the West. East is really Boston and and the Pistons are the only teams that have a chance. The only teams that have a chance. Knicks are crap. Knicks are done? I think uh Cleveland's just not, they're not they're they have a good team, but they uh it's not elite championship level.
SPEAKER_01So okay, it's kind of over.
SPEAKER_00No, I mean they're they're still they're gonna be. But they're it's not like the first half of the season, everyone was like, oh, it's every it's it's the thunder, and then everyone else. Because they were like 30 and five. And then they went on like a 15 and they won 15, lost 15. Like it was just crazy. They just started losing. The Spurs beat them multiple times in the row, all this kind of stuff. So anyway, they've they've fallen back to earth a lot over the last like 30 games.
Who’s Real In The NBA Right Now
SPEAKER_01Well, it'd be cool to see the Spurs back, Castle and Wemby. Let's go. Yeah. But I don't really care.
SPEAKER_00All right, we got a deep we got a topic to talk about today. And this is uh this is this is important.
SPEAKER_01It's a big topic, and I think there's a lot of people, it's it's similar to how people now are like, oh, I have a it's my ADD, it's this, oh I can't pay attention, sorry, I it's my ADD. Uh it's similar. What I've noticed is a lot of people are like, oh, it's my body dysmorphia. It's I go with body, yeah, it's all that.
SPEAKER_00And so here's why I think it doesn't it isn't really that self-deprecating to say you have body dysmorphia. You sound like you have a little bit of like, you know, like, oh, you know, like, yeah. Because that's also I think it's also a humble brag. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because it's like if you're like because we want to be like, no, dude, like you look so good. What are you talking about?
SPEAKER_00Oh, I think I have body dysmorphia, like, oh dude, you're so big. You're like, oh, I don't think so. You think I am? Really?
SPEAKER_01I mean, in your in your world, I I I have to think that there's a lot of it.
SPEAKER_00Well, if you go, so we actually like looked up the definition of body dysmorphia in the clinical definition. So why don't you read some of those those uh points? Yeah, the talk.
SPEAKER_01I mean, there's multiple characterizations, but I think when you actually read the scientific definition, you're kind of like, oh, that's very scary. It's almost like obsessive-compulsive disorder. Uh it's uh categorized as a mental disorder by a preoccupation with one or more perceived defects or flaws in your physical appearance that are not observable, observable or appear s or appearance lie to others, and that cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, and other areas of functioning. First and foremost, when I say, Hey, I don't love my love handles, and I I uh you see me grabbing my lovey right now. Yeah, are you gonna say, dude, you have body dysmorphia? There's no lovey there. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's a love handle there. It's getting a little bit more.
SPEAKER_00You're pointing out something that you don't particularly like about yourself, but it's not like it's not like any what I would consider body dysmorphia is somebody who is like has a six-pack and or has a real like it's like really, really like lean. And it's bodysmorphia can probably lead into like anorexia and some of those. But it's like that person's like, oh my god, I'm so fat, like I'm so bloated here. Because in the mirror, they are only seeing what they consider is a defect, which is probably just like skin that they they wish was completely like like flat all the way to the like to the to the muscle.
SPEAKER_01So there's a there's an interesting correlation between the body body positivity movement, which is you're fat, just be like get healthy, right? It's like I'm just happy the way I am. It's like no one's happy the way they are. Let's stop making lies. And then having a mental disorder of seeing yourself as something you're not.
Shifting To The Big Topic: Body Dysmorphia
What Body Dysmorphia Actually Means
SPEAKER_00Well, the I the reality is that there the pressure from society on being healthy and and looking a certain way puts puts pressure on people who don't feel that they meet the criteria. So somebody who's overweight, you know, instead of like feeling bad all the time about the fact that they're overweight and they don't like there's there was a movement of like, oh no, embrace your big, beautiful body, right? And I think that and the idea was like you shouldn't have to walk around every day feeling like you're less than because so you own it, embrace it, you know, like put it out there, be big and bold and all that. And so I I think you know, with anything that probably started from a really great idea and a great like mindset around owning your, you know, what you're the things about yourself that aren't like necessarily like everyone's version of like beautiful, of course things get over overdone and oversold, you know, to the to society, and then we're like, okay, enough. Oh yeah. All right.
SPEAKER_01You you're gonna die of obesity. I get it. Diabetes.
SPEAKER_00I think there's two ways that bodies morphia shows itself like in a in the gym setting. And I'd say the first way, and this is probably the guys, more of the guys are like this, is like they're not big enough. Like you see a guy in the gym who's like jacked or or definitely like working out, they got good muscle tone, they're they're they're shapely, they're they're generally lean, and you're like, Oh my, you look great, you're big, and and they turn around and be like, Oh, I'm not, no way, I'm so skinny. Like, I need to get like I need to put on like ten more pounds of muscle. And you're like, Okay, sure, go for it. But like Or you know, and they're constantly like flexing in the mirror, looking in the mirror. And you see a lot of young men do this because it's like a uh but it's like what's happening is they're very self-critical. And they're like they're always trying to get a kind of a reassurance from the mirror or from other people that they're that they're good enough or that they're that they're big or strong or whatever. Uh, because they they in turn always see the the negative, they see the the the ways that they're not. Oh, all I see is my skinny legs, or all I see is, you know, I might have these big you know muscular arms, but all I see is that my shoulders aren't big as as big as I want them to be. Like, so I won't even notice my arms. I'll just look at my and this is an example.
SPEAKER_01Do you find that there's a higher percentage of people in the bodybuilding community that have it?
SPEAKER_00I think that's how you become a bodybuilder. Yeah. You're like, you have this big idea of like how getting bigger muscles is going to like fix something. And there's, you know, I think some people that were like elite athletes and like worked out a lot and were super strong and then like found their way into bodybuilding after sports. That's there is a possibility there. But I think a lot of people it's it's the like you know, 98-pound weak lean gets can't sand in his face, yeah, you know, in in a in middle school or high school, and he's like, working out is my is the solution. Like, I'm gonna get big, and people are gonna see that and they're gonna be like, oh, cool, yeah, like that guy's jacked, right? And that's gonna solve their problem.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, you and I both struggle with the same thing growing up. I mean, I always struggle with my weight, I was always bigger, right? Chubby. You you've talked about experiencing that as a child too. What do you think that factors into you? Because you're cut, you've been, you've always been a fit guy. Uh does that factor into how you see yourself too?
Gym Culture, Mirrors, And Masculinity
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like I so middle school was tough for me. I got overweight and I just didn't have friends, and I was getting bullied. And I, you know, I kind of like I would I remember very clearly coming home from school and just like pulling out the tin roof Sunday from the freezer, ice cream, and just making a big bowl of it and sitting there and watching like Save by the Bell. And I'm just eating, eating ice cream, and and even though I like played basketball and this and that, I I really didn't I didn't have a lifestyle that was like nearly as active as it was when I was in elementary school. And so, and I hadn't hit puberty. I didn't hit puberty until high school, and so so it was like I was just kind of just started putting on weight and feeling ugly and and just and it didn't have any real friends in my middle school. Like I there was two middle schools, so element my elementary school, kind of what I I assumed people were going to my middle school, and I guess everyone was like it was went the other way, and I was like, and my brother was at my middle school, and so I like went to the middle school. My brother was none of my friends went that way, and then my brother and his friends started picking on me because it was easy to do so, and then it was that so it was like that. So when I got when I lost weight in 10th grade in high school and got into strength training, I kind of like vouched to myself that I would never you know get fat again or I would never go back. I I never wanted to feel that way again. Yeah, so it's like I so you know, working out and all that kind of stuff kind of fueled, was fueled by that feeling of like that's not, I don't want to be that guy anymore. Yeah, you know, and so but I also have to kind of like you know, in therapy, I was one of the things I I've done is kind of try to embrace that kid, you know, the the middle school version of me and say, like, I uh you know, I mean he he's a survivor. Yeah, you know, he's he's we I don't want to just I don't want to, you know, you don't want to always just like reject a part of yourself or or you know that that kid went through some hard times and I I learned a lot about how to how to be a survivor and how to you know can offend for myself in a way, but you know, anyway, so so I think part of my own, you know, I don't wouldn't call it like a body dysmorphia, but like there's a certain chip on my shoulder, like if I'm strong and healthy, then I won't be made fun of. Like it's probably like a subconscious thought, like, you know, I'm I'm safer if I'm the fit guy. Like it's a better, it's a better space to fill than like the the sloppy guy.
Middle School Pain And Fitness Identity
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, like well, what I've found, and I I this is reasonable. Thank you for talking uh openly about that because I feel the same way, but I've never really achieved it uh to where I can feel like, hey, I'm good, and maybe you're never good, but at least I think this is the first time in my life where I'm at a decent since high school or college where I'm at a healthy BMI, where I am actually looking and feeling better because of the things that I'm doing. And I I notice that I'm treated different too. That there is a distinct difference between being uh a tubby dude or uh endearing dude that's have a has a little belly, dad bod, so to speak, and when you look like you've worked out this morning. Yeah, and I like that, you know. I I'm not mad about it. Um, but I think there's a few things to think about in there. Yeah, we all struggle with it. Anybody who doesn't struggle with their weight or doesn't struggle with how they look in the mirror is lying most of the time. Maybe they're just overly confident or have great genes and it's just never thought. But here are some scientific things about it that I think maybe be a good reminder to anybody that feels like they're struggling with it. And maybe it's just a hey, I wish that I was thinner. Okay, well, let's talk about that. Uh here's a few diagnosis, diagnostic criteria, right? A repetitive behavior of mental acts, such as mirror checking, excessive grooming, skin picking, reassurance seeking, comparing appearance to others. Now, those can be kind of mixed into everything, obviously. But here's another thing that kind of fits into that category. The concern causes a significant distress and functional impairment, which means more than likely they have an eating disorder. Hey, I'm anorexic or I'm bulimic, it causes some type of reaction. And then the appearance concern is not better explained by an eating disorder.
SPEAKER_00Uh but even like even if it's not an eating disorder, excessive exercise. Yeah. Somebody who goes to the gym seven days a week, um, you know, and they just they like like that, that could be a sign that you're body dysmorphia. Because you're you're just you're working so hard at changing your body to the point that you're probably not even recovering enough. You're like, you're actually going the opposite way because you're just never resting.
Treatment, Compulsions, And Community
SPEAKER_01Well, I think that goes into more of a uh really good point. I think the categorization becomes an excessive compulsive disorder. So if you are in that situation, it becomes that obsessive compulsive disorder with obsessive thoughts, compulsive behavior. Um insight levels vary from good, poor, delusional beliefs. The key here is I think we can all agree the key is community. Uh when we isolate, when we feel like we are doing this alone and we do those things, if we work out alone, if we if we're doing compulsive behaviors for the sake of treating uh another behavior similar to how I like to eat to comfort, right? That's just as bad as going to the gym seven days a week to comfort. Uh I mean, at least we we justify with, well, this is a healthy result, right? But I think there is real issues with thinking and figuring out, like, as a community, like let's come together, find somebody, work out with people, like you're gonna get a good perspective of where you're at compared to them. If you are in a situation where you are that like that compulsive, dealing with issues that are deeper than just I feel I look at myself and I don't like what I see. I mean, that's where reasons why we all have gotten counseling and therapy, because we saw things in our lives that needed to be fixed or needed we needed solutions to the problems. So it's not to be taken lightly, but also I think a lot of us have put body dysmorphia as a solution. Ah, I just have this body, I don't see what everybody else sees. Well, yeah, of course you don't, but it's not considered a compulsion, it's not leading to eating disorders. But if it is, it definitely needs to be dealt with. And that's okay to if you're experiencing that, that's okay. Like, yeah, but there's there's definite places to go to deal with that, and you have to care for yourself.
Four Jars Framework For Balance
SPEAKER_00Well, and and on the flip side, from the dad angle, yeah, you know, you're gonna probably those of you who have teenage boys or girls, um, that start to like really care about their physique, and you know, there's the natural kind of like high testosterone, like 16-year-old who's like flexing in the mirror, and like some of that's natural for for a kid to do to kind of like you know, see see if they're getting stronger to kind of um, but it can also it can also become a compulsion, yeah. Uh, and a lot of that it comes from just again so much of addictive behavior or compulsive behavior or uh unhealthy behavior comes from like I'm just not feeling enough. Yeah, I'm not enough. Like, and that the weird part is like as I'm evolving in my like understanding of exercise and that kind of stuff, I like I don't want to I don't want to get like super strong or super lean because of a feeling of not enough, but I also don't want to not you know be as healthy as possible because I'm like succumbing to some like well I don't want to care so much, so I'm just gonna be lazy. Right? And so there's like a it's finding work, it's finding the balance. And I think I think the key that I've noticed is if you have a clear head about like eating well, getting a good night's sleep, hitting the gym four days a week, or maybe five if you're you know, if you're if you've got that much in your schedule, spending time with your kids and your wife. Like, and if you feel like you're kind of putting a little bit of putting marbles in all those jars throughout the week, then you're probably okay. If you feel if you feel if you look back to the week and you're like, I think I put a hundred marbles in the like I want to look you know better jar and forgot to put any marbles in your kids or wife's or or you know, other health, you know, or you'd even like sleep, you're out drinking, you're you're staying up late, your sleep schedule's all off out of whack, then you're probably in a place where you're just over-emphasizing the like idea of like I need to work out more, I need to lit like lose weight, or like you're obsessing about a diet or something like that, versus like looking at the holistic like lifestyle and say, like, am I putting marbles in all of the jars? That's good. And I would say if you think about four jars, you know, you can say spouse or relationship with your with your significant other, family, which I think they're different. They're they are different. Your spouse, there's like the the connection with spouse, there's family, there's personal health, like fitness, and then there's sleep and recovery. And and I think within those four, if you feel like you're doing a pretty decent job at at you know, each week at that, you know, not perfect but decent, then you're probably in a balanced place.
SPEAKER_01That's good. Yeah, good assessment. I think, you know, for those of you who maybe don't have a spouse or dealing with other things in your life, the spouse can be interchanged to building of yourself. I think the mental aspect of um rebuilding you and seeking things that are different than just I'm going to the gym three, three hours, five days a week or whatever.
SPEAKER_00Well, there is a spouse's like connection. And so you I would even say like if you're obsessing about dating and sex, like as a like it's it would be the same thing, right? Yeah, like you get you're you have with if you're in a long-term relationship, you're it's the connection, it's intimacy, it's it's it's harmony and trust that you're that you're cultivating with your wife or spouse. If you don't have that, you don't have a girlfriend, then you're and you're gonna go you're obsessing about it. So just again, it needs to go somewhere. Look at where you're maybe over-emphasizing one part of your life and take stock in that. Like, oh, why is that so important to me right now? Why am I over-obsessing about that one thing? I love it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I appreciate it, man. For those of you who are struggling with it, we're here to help. Please email us uh if you want to talk more. Uh we got a lot of things to we went through a lot of things today, but first and foremost, happy birthday, Bart. Um, I love you, man. Uh, grateful for you. Uh if you guys need any advice, any help, we are we're here for you. Uh check out our premium edition, our uh premium members of our podcast. But for those of you who are listening, thank you for listening. Please like, subscribe, and share. We are Bart and Mitch, and this is Dad Bods and Dumbbells. Have a great day.