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MilesFromHerView
MilesFromHerView
82: Raising Kids with Healthy Body Image in a Diet-Obsessed Culture: with Expert Dr. Emily Gordon
In this episode of MilesFromHerView, host Kat welcomes back Dr. Emily Gordon, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders and body image with nearly 25 years of experience. They discuss strategies for raising children with healthy relationships to food and their bodies while navigating an appearance- and health-obsessed culture. Dr. Gordon shares insights on managing parental concerns without projecting them onto children, recognizing cultural messages around body image, and fostering self-acceptance and emotional awareness in teens. Kat and Dr. Gordon emphasize the importance of mindful communication and setting healthy boundaries, particularly during socially and emotionally charged holiday seasons. The episode underscores the collaborative effort needed between therapists, parents, and fitness professionals to support healthier body images and relationships with food.
About Dr. Emily Gordon:
Dr. Emily Gordon is a licensed clinical psychologist with nearly 25 years of experience specializing in eating disorders and body image concerns for adolescents, young adults, and their families. She completed her Postdoctoral Fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychology at McLean Hospital, where she served in leadership roles and helped found the Klarman Center for Eating Disorders. Dr. Gordon was a Lecturer in Psychology at Harvard Medical School for fifteen years and now maintains a private practice in Natick, Massachusetts, licensed in MA, CT, FL, and VT.
Dr. Gordon is passionate about helping parents navigate raising kids in our appearance-obsessed culture. For more resources, expert insights, and practical guidance on supporting your child's relationship with food and their body, sign up for her newsletter and follow along at:
š www.dremilygordon.com
š±Instagram: www.instagram.com/dremilygordon
Don't miss her thoughtful, evidence-based approach to these critical topicsāher newsletter is a must for any parent wanting to do better for their kids (and themselves).
00:00 Introduction: Addressing Body Image Concerns in Children
00:17 Meet Dr. Emily Gordon: Expert in Eating Disorders and Body Image
01:43 Podcast Overview and Host Introduction
02:34 Continuing the Conversation with Dr. Emily Gordon
03:01 Navigating Body Image and Eating Habits in a Health-Obsessed Culture
03:59 Challenges Parents Face: Balancing Personal Healing and Parenting
05:46 The Impact of Social Media and Headlines on Body Image
07:08 Understanding Health Beyond Physical Appearance
10:09 Common Mistakes Parents Make and How to Avoid Them
16:43 The Importance of Self-Compassion and Therapy
19:25 Teaching Kids to Navigate Body Image and Food Relationships
28:06 Setting Boundaries and Handling Unwanted Comments
37:27 Final Thoughts and Where to Find Dr. Emily Gordon
38:59 Conclusion: Embracing Strength and Moving Forward
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What do you do when your child says, I feel fat? How do we raise kids with a healthy relationship to food and their bodies while we're still healing our own? And how do we navigate a culture that equates thinness with health and teaches us our bodies, our problems to fix? Today we're diving into these questions with Dr. Emily Gordon, a licensed clinical psychologist with 20. With nearly 25 years of experience specializing in eating disorders and body image concerns, Dr. Gordon earned her BA from Northwestern University and her doctorate's degree from in her doctorate's degree in clinical Psychology from Ferkauf graduate School of psychology at Yeshiva University. She's been on the front lines. Completing a postdoctoral fellowship in child and adolescent psychology at McLean Hospital, where she went on to serve in a leadership. Where she went on to serve in leadership within the adolescent residential treatment program and was part of the founding team of Carmen Center for Eating Disorders. She held an appointment as a lecturer in psychology at the Harvard Medical School for 15 years, and has supervised psychology trainees, both at McLean Hospital and the Boston Institute for Psychotherapy. Now in private practice in Massachusetts, licensed in four states. Dr. Gordon focuses on adolescents. Young adults and families supporting them through these critical challenges. A quick disclaimer, this conversation is for educational and informative purposes only and is not intended to diagnose or treat any condition. If you or someone you know needs support, please reach out to a qualified healthcare professional. Let's dive in.
Kat:Welcome to MilesFromHerView, the podcast powered by KatFIt Strength, where busy women like you find practical solutions to fuel your fitness journey with authenticity and resilience. I'm Kat, your host, a mom of two active boys, a business owner, and an ultra marathon runner and a strength trainer in her forties with nearly two decades of experience. I'm here to help you cut through the noise of fads, hacks, and quick fixes. This is a space where we celebrate womanhood and motherhood. All while building strength and resilience and reconnecting with you from a place of self-compassion and worthiness. Whether you're lacing up your running shoes to go out for a run, driving your kids to practice or squeezing in a moment for yourself, I'm right here in the trenches with you. Let's dive in. Welcome back to MilesFromherView. I am here with Dr. Emily Gordon and I'm so excited to have her back on the podcast she was on almost a year ago. Welcome
Dr. Emily Gordon:thank you so much. I'm so happy to hear from you and to continue our conversation. It was one of my favorites.
Kat:I definitely know it was one of our listeners favorites because I see downloads of our original episode, I'm excited to go a little bit deeper into the topic today. So let's just dive right in. I'll turn it over to you. Just kick it off.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Oh boy. We're here to continue the conversation about raising kids and teens in this appearance, obsessed and health obsessed culture that we live in and how we can navigate that as moms and as parents and how we can help sort of inoculate our kids.
Kat:We're gonna dive deeper into that. To your point, there's such an aesthetic driven world, and I hear it from my clients. They don't wanna pass their own eating habits or their own internal dialogue of their relationship with food that may not have been as great as they wanted, and they're. Healing that at the same time raising their own children, which is tough. It's kind of like building that airplane while you're flying, so you're like, I need space to figure this out. But I'm on the job real time trying to help guide my kids and I don't wanna pass this off on them.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Well, that is exactly right. I actually gave a talk last week to parents of teenagers. And that was the thing that was sort of just like so profound and so striking was this fear of like, I don't wanna get it wrong. I don't wanna pass this along. Like, I want my kids to feel good and have a different experience than I did, or I do. I could just like palpable that, that really like. The caring and the love and the desire for better. I think that your analogy of building the airplane while we're flying it, I don't know quite how to continue the analogy, but, but the idea being that we're also trying to do this work, like in a culture that is. Providing isn't that is like presenting a lot of challenges and obstacles. And so that is the first thing that I say to parents is that, I really like my heart goes out to all of us parents because it is so hard. It's so hard to raise kids and teenagers. It's so hard to be a parent. It's so hard to look at yourself and try to like. Improve, whatever it is that you're trying to work on and improve and to do it all for your kids at the same time. Like, it's so much.
Kat:Yes. It really is. And I think that's one thing there's a lot and there's no right way and having that trust with yourself. And just sometimes maybe it's just a pause and that, that's why I believe heavily in having a guiding voice or a therapist like yourself that can really help work through and provide that trust that a parent isn't going to, ruin their child's relationship with food while they're trying to heal their own relationship with food.'Cause it is tough. Being in the fitness industry, fitness and nutrition, there's so much out there and. With all the social media and all the headlines coming out. It's like X, Y, Z is good today and then it's bad tomorrow. And if you're not eating this, then you failed and it's such click bait headlines, rage bait headlines that I myself sometimes feel so defeated if we could just get back to the simple basics, it's not the stuff that is going to go viral. On Instagram or any sort of social media platform, it is the basis
Dr. Emily Gordon:not sexy or exciting or, lucrative.
Kat:Exactly, exactly. As I said in the intro, we're not here to treat, we're not here to diagnose. This is purely informative. In a way just kind of get a glimpse behind the scenes with an expert to help and. Provide some understanding on this topic where we may feel lost. I, myself, I'm in the industry and I'm a boy mama, my kids will say things like, oh, sugar's bad for you. I can't have this. And I just stop. And I'm like, wait. Well, tell me more about that. Why do you feel that way? That was
Dr. Emily Gordon:a great response.
Kat:Thanks. How can we start to become aware of it without being hypercritical of ourselves or our children?
Dr. Emily Gordon:Oh, that's a really good question. I think you mentioned like pausing. And I think that. What we're all trying to do is to figure out what health looks like for us individually, right? What feels good, what we need, what we want how our bodies operate, how they feel, whether that's about food or relationships or, activities or sleep or whatever that's about. The first thing we have to do. Is just pause as we are taking in all of this information, like all of the images and all of the news and all the facts that are out there. And we have to recognize what the forces are at play that are influencing those messages, right? Is it, the diet industry? Is it marketing? Is it capitalism? Is it medical wellness? Sort of what is it? And to know that, there are these messages out there, but there is no one size fits all. And that's what's so hard is like, I wish I could say, well, this is what you should do. Right? But I can't because it's about your individual family and your history and your genetics and your experiences and your values. And what's possible and reasonable in your lifestyle. So there isn't this one size fits all way of doing things. So the first thing we wanna do is pause. And then I think the other thing we wanna do as parents is we really need to kind of sort out like, what is our own issue versus what is our kid's issue? Sort of like, what are we bringing to the table? And what is our kid wanting and needing and experiencing. To kind of separate that.
Kat:A couple things I wanna highlight that you said there is one, it's not a one size fits all, and that it's being curious about what is your ideal health situation and understanding that The best diet plan to use the dreaded D word. And I define that as what you eat in a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year is the one that you're able to repeat and it fits your lifestyle. And that, I find is a huge disconnect from what is conveyed in all marketing to. The actual integration when individuals may be making a change is we have to explore and understand who you are, who is cohabitating with you underneath your roof, and how can we set you up for success. And with that, you started going into I'm gonna butcher your words, but I'm, how it impacts you, how you think about it. And then in return, how the internal dialogue that we have, whether we're aware of or not may come out of our mouth. Not, this is not a guilting of shaming, but this is internal dialogue. And then, like I said, I'll, I'll use me where my knee jerk reaction is. What do you mean sugar's bad for you? How the sugar, versus that pause. So are there common things that well-intentioned. Because primarily our listenership is moms that moms say and parents that say or do that may accidentally make things worse. And again, it's not about guilting or shaming. This is about bringing awareness to things that we may say that, and I may say it too,
Dr. Emily Gordon:yeah, so I wanna be careful, right? Not to sort of blame or shame parents and moms because I think we have to have some compassion for ourselves that we are all coming, like we've all lived in this culture, we have been the recipients of the messaging. We have our own lived experience with our own bodies and our own families, and so we bring that all to parenting. The biggest sort of quote mistakes that we make are like what you said about responding without really thinking and without being mindful of like how our words are impacting our kids. I think that one of the big things that many parents do, and I understand, but it's not helpful, is the sort of making comments about bodies. Whether it's their own bodies or whether it's their kids' bodies, or whether it's just other bodies. It's hard to unlearn because I think our culture is such a culture of valuing appearance and size. I think that's something that parents do without realizing that is not helpful. I think that the way we talk about. Health in this, sort of one size fits all, or equating health with thinness. And I think another thing is the way we kind of talk about or use the word fat and that that can inadvertently reinforce this idea that fat is bad. Fat is shameful. Fat is something we have to fix. Because it sort of reinforces the idea. So one of the things that I hear a lot is, when kids say they feel fat or they don't like their bodies we often sort of jump in with reassurance of like, You are not, or you are fine the way we are. And I think we do a disservice when we do that for two reasons. One is again, we're sort of reinforcing this idea that appearance matters. That fat is bad'cause it's something we don't want to be. And I think we miss an opportunity to really help kids understand how they're feeling about their bodies can be about something deeper. Mm-hmm. Right. So we're sort of missing the opportunity to say. Hmm. I wonder what might be really going on for you, or, I understand you feel really uncomfortable. I wonder if that's about feeling lonely or feeling like you don't fit in. And so,, I think it's a complicated way of saying that. I think the way we talk about bodies, like it can be very physical and we wanna help kids take it. Like to another level where it's not just about the physical.
Kat:It can be hard and that's okay. Our society values thinness. Yeah. Over health.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah.
Kat:Thinness doesn't equal health.
Dr. Emily Gordon:No.
Kat:And it is a hard concept to unlearn. It's especially when all around us, it's the reasons behind why you move your body is to reduce your size to become thinner. The wording around a woman's body is. Pre-baby weight look like you did in your twenties, fit into that dress, et cetera, really looking at health
Dr. Emily Gordon:So I think like the problem with our culture and bodies is that it makes us feel like our bodies are something to fix. Mm-hmm. Right, and I was thinking about it even like, I feel like the language is sort of like the war on obesity, right? Yes. Like we are at war with our bodies and this is gonna take us in a total different direction. I don't wanna go there, but I just need to say like, I think that's what a lot of the messaging around perimenopause. Than menopause is doing these days for women is like, again, our bodies are a problem. They are something to be fixed and we have to wage war. And so with that being the language I think that we like. Where that gets back to your question about what are moms inadvertently doing. It's kind of like teaching our kids that their bodies are something that has to be fixed. And so when they say like, I wanna start to be healthy, it's easy to kind be excited by that. Right. And to feel like that is a quote, good thing so tricky to untangle, right? And maybe some people listening would say, well, isn't healthy a good thing? But again, we wanna just pause and say, well, what does that mean to you before we rush in and sort of validate the efforts? Right? And we want to really give praise to, the underlying capacities, not the sort of outside appearance.
Kat:And you are a hundred percent right? It is a lot about wording.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Mm-hmm.
Kat:Which indicates that you always need fixing, that you did this to yourself.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yes. And that you can and should. Fix, change, do something different. I think it is about love, right? Mm-hmm. And it is about wanting, like it's about our own anxiety and about sort of wanting to protect our kids. It's about wanting them to be okay. It's about wanting them to be liked. So I think that's where, you know, it, it comes from our love and our own, like our, our efforts to try to help and like, make life easier for, and make them feel better. It is well intentioned and yet I think that's where it can inadvertently be not helpful in the long run.
Kat:Yeah, a hundred percent. I, in full disclosure, have a therapist myself, a psychologist, and
Dr. Emily Gordon:wonderful.
Kat:She's amazing. And because I have my own stories, I have my own dialogue.
Dr. Emily Gordon:We all do.
Kat:I found, you know, as my boys now though, they're 11 and 14, really, when they started getting into the upper ages. Not that I didn't trust my parenting, but a lot started coming up for me.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yes.
Kat:One of the things that. Helps me pause is am I parenting through pain or am I parenting through you patience, you know, for that pause, you know, because what I found, to your point, it's, I know what it was like,, I was the tall, lanky kid growing up. I felt like a misfit. I was picked on for being too thin.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Hmm.
Kat:Which tends to be an opposite challenge than what most think. It was always, you're a stick figure. You're this, you know? And I would be like, I eat, I eat a lot, and so when my kids, to your point like will make a remark, sometimes it's like. Before I had awareness, it would be like, you wanna jump in? You wanna save them?
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah.
Kat:And it's. Hard to pause.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Mm-hmm.
Kat:In the flow of life. Yeah. We have so many things We're juggling, our technology, smartphones make work still accessible to us in the off hours then we get home. There's the mom taxing of getting kids to different activities. And it's hard to pause in that and quickly take care of it. Not because we don't wanna help our kids, but we're exhausted. Yeah. So, for those moms listening who are working through their own issues with food and body image, you know how much of our own stuff. Do our kids, both boys or girls, pick up on and,, what do we do about that? If, I'm thinking I'll, I'll keep throwing myself under the bus and, and maybe a listener's like, oh my gosh, this morning I said something just quick and I should have said that. I like both my kids are growing or I said something to one of my kids. I was like, oh, you're getting big. And they stopped. They're like. What do you mean? Am I getting fat? And I'm like, no. Oh. Like it was just like, you're growing tall. Like it had no implication on body composition, but in their minds it was to your point, like fat. And I'm like, Nope, no, no, big, big tall. And I found myself just like, wait, what did I do? So going back to that question, like what would you,
Dr. Emily Gordon:yeah. So I so appreciate that question and I wanna speak to something that you kind of alluded to, which is that. This is not like a, we've got one shot and then it's over kind of a deal, right? So that we are gonna say things and we are gonna do things. And I am forever going back with my kids and saying like, Hey, I was really thinking about what I said yesterday, and I think it didn't come out right. I think what I meant was this, so it's not about like what you do and say in any specific moment. It's sort of like. Over time and over the context of your relationship with your kids. I think that's important. We don't have to be perfect. We don't have to get it right all the time. We just have to kind of like keep showing up and keep doing the best we can. I think that you are absolutely right that kids notice things. I am forever talking, but like kids know a lot, I am always blown away by the observations that my kids like offer. Whether I would like that feedback or not. They are, they are so observant and intelligent and like spot on in ways that are sometimes painful. Mm-hmm. So I think we're kidding ourselves if we think that like our kids aren't gonna notice. But that being said, like we are human and I think that, what we can do is just try our best, again, to be really mindful of the way we talk about our own bodies and food and what we've done or not done, and what we deserve or what's good or bad. And to be really careful about the way we talk about their bodies. Right. And there's a real difference. I mean, of course I say like. We really need to be working on not talking about bodies and appearance and talking about other things that are meaningful and important, like their kindness or their creativity or you know, their risk taking. Or just the other qualities that we value so that we are kind of. You know, like trying to reverse what our culture does about putting all of the emphasis and value on appearance. So I think we need to do that. And I think we also just need to neutralize that. Like we can talk about bodies and appearance and like. Thin or fat, or tall or short, or you know, white or brown. But we're not valuing one way over the other that that, that bodies and people matter. Just like, like they're all, we're all valued, right? So I think that's something that we can be really mindful of. Yeah. So I hope that answered your question. I guess the other piece about how do we talk about our bodies and how do, like what do our kids pick up on? I think the thing that's especially tricky is that like our kids are kind of developing their own sense of self based on their relationship, like to us and in our families, you know, especially in biologically related parents, where you are making a criticism of your own body or something about you that your kid also. Kind of notices about themselves, right? So if you are a taller person and your kid is tall, or if you're, sort of a curvy person, or you've got you know, defined muscles and you're sort of critical of that about yourself and there's your sort of sharing. Same physical characteristic, it leaves them in a real bind about how to feel about their own body given the way you are experiencing your own body.
Kat:That makes a lot of sense.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah,
Kat:Your body's an intimate place. We only have one home. And it's okay to change your body. And hopefully, and definitely if this needs to be improved upon when I see this to clients, is talk about the strength that you're gaining with the workouts.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah.
Kat:You can still change, and I'm gonna say b. Not fully happy with how your body might be performing because that's okay. But coming from a place of love, like not, I need to go in the gym and I can't believe I ate this, therefore I need to go in the gym and work it off or
Dr. Emily Gordon:Right.
Kat:You know, not punishing yourself for living, you know, so it's like, yeah. Change happens,
Dr. Emily Gordon:well, I think too, if we can, I think you're right, and I think if we can try to focus on. Like what is the purpose of the change, right? And that the purpose of the change, right, is for strength or stability or being able to like reach a goal or participate in an activity that, is meaningful to us, right? So that, that if we're looking at like. What and why and how we're changing that. It's about function and purpose and, and sort of value as opposed to like a physical ideal.
Kat:That's where more of a lifelong relationship with moving your body is going to be.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah.
Kat:Versus placed on aesthetics. Aesthetics are, oh, okay. But if they're the primary driver life is always gonna happen. We can't always control our body. Yes, there are several things that we can control, but. At the end of the day, there are many things that we can't, and going back to this this war on perimenopause, menopause, and even in that postpartum time period and, mm-hmm. Prenatal period. It's,, there are changes that are gonna happen, but let's look at how do we wanna. Continue to function.
Dr. Emily Gordon:How do we navigate those changes, right? Mm-hmm. Because, because bodies change. Yes. I mean, they just do. Yes. You can't have a. Body without it changing. And that's what's supposed to happen. And so again, I think, you know, your question was about like, what are kids learning from their moms, from their parents? And I think they're learning like how do you navigate change? How do you tolerate discomfort? How do you talk about your own body? And again, I'm not asking parents to not have struggles and I'm not asking them to be perfect in this. We're just asking you to think about it and to be mindful and you know, to try your best to sort of keep your own comments and self-criticism. On a shelf or to the side and maybe have other places that you are getting support and working on your relationship with your body and with food. So that your kids aren't sort of taking that all in.
Kat:I would say the most powerful sentence is bodies change. It's two words. Bodies change and that holds no good or bad. It's just bodies change.
Dr. Emily Gordon:They're supposed to.
Kat:We're, I guess in the holiday season, it's, what is it? November now, and this is one where we're gonna be in a lot of social spaces. There is a lot of unwanted comments. There are a lot of. I find this when I'm in a social event and maybe there, there's food involved and people learn of my profession and there might be some sort of decadent treat on their plate. It's always met with a, don't worry. I worked out this morning and I'm like,
Dr. Emily Gordon:Hmm.
Kat:Yay. But how is that yummy pastry or dessert? Because it looks good and I'm gonna get it.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Who said who, who said you needed to work out to that treat?
Kat:Exactly. I'm like I wanna dive in here a little bit more, but we're in a social space. So it's, again, being aware of our own dialogue as also with children there. How we can also. Put on better boundary for ourselves with those unwanted comments. Either if our children are young and maybe they can't quite advocate for themselves. If our children are in their teen hood and maybe they are going through challenges with, eating that. Other members, whoever they are, family, friends, et cetera, may not know about. And how can we assist being a good advocate for ourselves in the role of parenthood, our own personal being. And for our children, that is a huge question. So,
Dr. Emily Gordon:So the holidays are coming up and, you know, we're already starting to like, hear and see, you know, the advertising and the media, you know, like, like hyping this. You know, I think that one of, so if I think about like the psychological parts of holidays, which is that there's so many. Mixed feelings in general about holidays, right? They can be really exciting and really meaningful and they can also be really challenging and anxiety provoking. And I think recognizing that and naming that for ourselves and our kids about what is happening emotionally and psychologically, because of course, I think a lot of the things that happen around food and bodies are sort of reflective of that deeper emotional like stuff. So a couple things that I think are really important. One is, to be mindful of what we are doing and saying, right? So, when somebody says like, oh, don't worry, I worked out today. We don't, we don't have to agree with that statement. And we don't have to. Say those things ourselves. We can stick to, like, it's the holidays and we're gonna maybe go to a celebration that's gonna have lots of good food, but that doesn't mean that we're gonna like, skip meals that day leading up to that event. And we're not gonna say things like that in our house. Like, oh, I'm not eating breakfast today. So I can like, enjoy the party later. So we can be really mindful of the things that we do and say we can also respond to family members when they make comments about, oh my gosh, I ate so much, I'm so uncomfortable. We can say like, you know, that's not something that we talk about in our family. Or, gosh, I'm so glad you were able to enjoy, all of the holidays and, I guess I'd like to focus on that. So there are ways that we can respond to people. We can also educate them. I think this is a big thing, like if you say to your family members, you know, we're really trying not to talk about food and body in our family. If that is something that. Is misunderstood or, hard to accept from other people. We can say, just so you know, the more we talk about food and appearance, the more it gives my now teenager the message that that's what we value and it's not really what we value. So that's why we're not gonna be talking about that. And you can do that both in front of your kids when it comes up. Or you can call ahead to somebody that you're gonna be with, or sort of have this just be kind of a general thing that you are putting out there about family gatherings. So I think those are things that we can do. Another thing that I think is really important, like I'm all about just conversation with our kids and teens. And so, you know, if somebody says something, if you're at a holiday gathering and somebody says something about exercise or fitness or, dessert, you can later say to your kid. What'd you think of that comment or how'd you feel when that person said that? So that you are then fostering some curiosity and some reflection in your kid, but you're also working on your connection with your kid and being able to talk about those things.
Kat:I love that last part, and I do find When I put on that like explorers hat of like, Hey, what'd you think of that? Because maybe I picked up on a subtle comment that they had official expression of like they were caught in a moment of like, I don't know how to respond with that. And maybe they just walked away or the conversation went on. I do find it always goes into a really interesting
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah.
Kat:Conversation and it. Is like a soft vulnerability aspect for myself to go into and, and was uncomfortable for me to hear that because we'll take pie, you know I was enjoying my pie and then the comment came up just making up a hypothetical right now. Oh, I'm gonna have to work off this pie tomorrow, really make sure I get my steps in because I ate too much. And it's like. Now hearing that I looked at my own pie, like, oh man, maybe I shouldn't be eating this. Yeah, it was really good and it lessened my enjoyment of it. And so. I, I found it's like a safer way to be very vulnerable with
Dr. Emily Gordon:Uhhuh,
Kat:my kids.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Yeah. I think that's really powerful because it models so much and it shows like. They're not the only ones who might be confused or having feelings. It is hard to figure out and know what to say. It is confusing, and again, this message that there are so many messages out there in our culture about what we should be doing and looking like and eating or not eating, and that we like ultimately wanna be raising kids. Who have the skills and the capacities to navigate those, like those messages on their own and to make their own decisions about what feels good for them. And so by sharing your like experience like that or by raising the conversation. We're kind of teaching kids that what they think and notice and feel matters and is important in that they don't have to just go along. With, what everybody else is doing and saying or believing and valuing. And that like, because that's something like they're gonna have to do their whole lives.
Kat:Yeah. A hundred percent. One thing I learned later in life was the term boundaries. You know, it was always taught like boundaries are selfish. You don't have boundaries. It's very like egocentric, selfish of you to, even what we're talking about, to say, Hey, in our family we don't talk about food or our bodies, and that is a boundary. And so having that conversation in the car or maybe the next day with kids. I found when I've done that with my kids, they're able to have boundaries that protect themselves and reply in a way that respects themselves, and I'm gonna say in the politeness challenges that adult being that they're younger puts it back on them. Like with curiosity of like, well. You know, to your point, your earlier point of, well, we enjoyed all this time with family and Pie was part of it. I'll never forget my one child in reference to pie came back at like, looked at the respective family member and said, well, if pie isn't healthy for us, why did you serve it? And I was just like, they were young. They were, under the age of five. And I was like, well, right on. Why did you serve this? If you're claiming this is unhealthy and making a general statement to the entire table about how unhealthy this is and back your health, and you served it at your health, why did you serve it?
Dr. Emily Gordon:Wow.
Kat:And then, you know, the respective family member turned to me and was like, are you gonna like, and I was just like, well, I don't know. That's a valid point. Like, I just was like,
Dr. Emily Gordon:Right. So you're teaching kids to like be sort of critical thinkers, right? Mm-hmm. And I love some of the words you used of like self-protection, self-respect self-acceptance, like all of those kinds of words are so important.
Kat:Yeah. I just, I feel. My generation, I am, I guess a millennial. I'm like early eighties babies. So that's like the crossover millennial timeframe where we weren't raised a lot with that. It was, you know, yes, you should definitely respect people, but you also have to respect and self-love yourself.
Dr. Emily Gordon:Mm-hmm.
Kat:First. And that's not out of a place of selfishness or
Dr. Emily Gordon:No
Kat:being rude. It's you acknowledging that you are your own being. You have thoughts and ideals. You are acknowledging just your whole presence
Dr. Emily Gordon:we're here to talk about like body image and relationship to food and I think that what you are talking about right there, this sort of self-care, self-awareness. Whether we're talking about kids or women going through all sorts of, you know, life challenges, that is what is ultimately protective against these harmful messages and ultimately that is what is protective in terms of developing a positive body image and, preventing the development of eating disorders is this sort of emotional awareness, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-awareness, and the ability to filter in or out what we want to. Mm-hmm. And the last piece, which I think is relevant is again, what's also protective is the connectedness and the relationship that we are building with our teenagers. Because ultimately that is what I know and believe. And that if we can help our teenagers and our kids to accept, tolerate. Love, feel comfortable in their own bodies and their own selves. That is so, so critical and important as they are navigating all of what our culture throws at them.
Kat:I love that. We covered so much and there's still, it's such a vast topic and one I feel like could entertain forever. It's so grateful individuals like yourself are out there and practicing and helping be part of the change where. Can people find you? And it will be included in the show notes. But how can people find you?
Dr. Emily Gordon:So people can find me on I have a website. It's dr emily gordon.com. I have a newsletter that I am trying to grow and I have a new Instagram page, Dr. Emily Gordon. So that's where people can find me. And I just wanna add, Kat, that I am so grateful for these conversations and for you inviting me back. And yes, what I do is important, but also what you do is so important because. We all need to partner together. And I just, I love following like all the things you're putting out into the world and the ways in which you are bringing like kind of awareness and acceptance to your clients. Because women need a place to get the messages that you are promoting. And they need to have places where they can get nutrition and fitness advice that is real and neutral. So.
Kat:Thanks.
Dr. Emily Gordon:It's a partnership.
Kat:Thanks. It absolutely is. This has been so great and I know I'll have you back. If anyone has questions, feel free to reach out to the podcast. I can pass'em off to Dr. Emily Gordon. Be sure to check out the show notes. Follow her jump on her newsletter. Thank you so much for coming on and Thank
Dr. Emily Gordon:you.
Kat:Thank you for tuning in to MilesFromHerView, powered by KatFit Strength. If this podcast inspires you, don't keep it for yourself. Hit follow or subscribe to stay updated on the new episodes, and leave us a review to help more women and moms discover this space. Your feedback fuels this podcast and I'd love to hear what's working for you or what topics you want to dive into Next. You can connect with me on Instagram at KatFit or share this episode. Road with a friend who is ready to embrace her strength. Remember, fitness isn't about perfection. It's about showing up for yourself and finding strength in every step of your journey. Until next time, keep moving forward one mile at a time.
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