Ep 130. Trying to Get Pregnant While Breastfeeding

Learn the physiology and holistic approach to fertility and breastfeeding:

• 5 distinct hormonal phases of the postpartum year
• Honoring how your body was created to flourish in the breastfeeding season
• 4 steps towards inviting fertility rhythms back into your body while nursing
• How to navigate the unique pressures and limitations of family planning and child spacing

Links to all the extra good stuff:

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Ep. 7: Vaginal Steaming 

Seed Cycling Guide

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Be sure to subscribe to the podcast to catch every episode. Follow us on Instagram for extra education and antics between episodes at: @beautifulonemidwifery

Transcript

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You're at home with Kelly and Tiffany. Welcome to episode 130. It's a nice round number that does feel good. This is how old my kids think I'm going to be before I die. This is the number they gave me. Like, this is how long they think I'm going to live. Because you're so healthy. Oh, my gosh. I was like, you guys, I don't want to live that long. Okay. It's unkind to say that right now. Just let me, let me turn 90. Go to sleep. It's fine. I don't know, 85. That's pushing it. Kelly. Today, we're talking about trying to get pregnant while breastfeeding. Yep. It's it was the working title, but it's just as the permanent title, because here we are recording the episode and we're like, does that make sense? Trying to get pre yeah. People understand what this episode is about. I was dropping off One of my daughter's best friends on my way to recording this with you. And she is like, what is your podcast about? And I was like, oh, it's just so much random stuff today. We're recording an episode about, and she was like, huh? Like people do that at the same time. And I'm like, oh no, no, no. I mean, she's 13. So she knows how babies are made now. Right. And. And I'm like known to know you don't get pregnant and breast feed, like. And the same event. I mean, you could, I just was, you know, explaining to her how that was a possibility. And then now I feel like I need to send a text to her mom and be like, so in the three minute car ride we had. I shared a lot of information with your daughter that she may or may not have had before. And I can come follow up with some diagrams or something. If needed, but. This is cracking me up. I'm just envisioning, actually trying to get pregnant. While breastfeeding. So first you put your baby on the breast. Step one. It's going to be a great episode guys. Hopefully you're in your fertile window. Then you tell your husband, okay, I've got the baby latch. It's not good. So the idea is that you were in your breastfeeding season. You're breastfed. Baby is asleep in another room. Maybe, maybe not. You decide or watching TV. And you try to get pregnant. Yeah. I mean, usually you're breastfeeding a toddler at this point and your cycle hasn't returned and you're, you just are really ready to continue building your family. And you're like, what the heck? I'm. I don't do I have to give up breastfeeding in order for my fertility to come back? Or is there some ways to. Work around it. That's what we're going to talk about today. Just to be clear. But we've got some, we've got a really great listener question that I wanted to throw in here because it's a little bit off topic. And we've had so many good listener questions come in. And the reason that we haven't answered them, you guys is because there's so rich that we're going to have to build entire episodes off of them. So if you have asked a question and you just know in your heart that it was a good quality question. Then no that we're not answering yet because we want to, we want to really thoroughly dive in but there is a link inside of every single show, note space, where you can throw your listener questions in. And if they're quick and easy, we'll answer them on the show. And if they're more in depth and we want to talk about them, we'll build an episode and it really helps us to know what kind of information you guys. I want to have, because that is somewhat part of how we plan. Information, we sort of think about what you guys might want to hear about. We mostly want to talk about the things we want to talk about, which is actually, it really is sweet because it really does align usually when we're like, oh, well, we're going to put this out. We get a question about it. Or a comment on Instagram. You guys actually do help create a ton of content for us. So thank you. Yeah, it does. It does propel us forward, but I mean, you're, you're here. You're on our show. Yep. There's just, as you have learned probably so far, there's just. Some things that go along with that. It's true. You're going to have to hear other things besides what you came here for. Yeah, you are. And you're going to like it. It's fine with me. Okay. So this is listener question says at homeschool. Cute. Oh, that is cute. Yeah. What has your experience homeschooling been like and what are some wins and some epic fails along the way as I'm reading that out loud, I realized, I mean, epic fails that could have been it a whole episode. Epic fails of homeschooling. Yes. Yes, of course. But now we're getting towards the end of summer and our. Kids or my kids are back in school. We only took like a month off of school for a summer. We do more of a year-round style because. My children's brains melt very fast, and we like to take breaks during the year. That's a really important part of me feeling interested in homeschooling them. Is the brain. It's a break. So we just live for the breaks. I mean, I was just telling my husband. A couple of weeks ago, like I just I'm looking for and longing and setting my heart on this particular homeschool experience where we're not pining for the breaks, because it's just such an in. In meshed and beautiful and harmonious part of our everyday lives, that it just feel sustainable and learning is a part of everything we do together. And. He's like, I don't think that's possible. I was like, that's a cut. That that's good. That's a kind. It's a good way to love me. Tell me the truth. Yep. And I certainly know, or at least here of. You know, experiences that are like that for some families. I do feel like. The way that homeschool has gone, especially this last year. I was like, oh, we could just keep, it just felt like I picked the right curriculum finally, for the way that their brains were working. We were in a good groove. But with that being said, I suppose one of my like fails along the way is that. We're starting a new school year now. And I am like, Eking out, finishing up math from last school year with them, because that was one of the things that I was like, oh, well, if something's going to fall by the wayside today, because it's like beautiful out and we want to go to the beach and math is a little. You know, for my kids, the way that they learn, they need me teaching them. And I wasn't always. Up to it for each day for them. So sometimes I just do one or the other, whatever, and we just got way behind. So hopefully by the time they start school in like a week, We'll get finished it. But I will say it has been really, really sweet to be able to just understand my kids more. And now that my youngest is coming in, she's starting kindergarten here in a few days. I feel like way more equipped to be like, I can start this from like a young age. Like nobody else's teaching her how to read and you know, do her letters and whatever. And she's like getting it. And I see that already the summer. And it's like, that's stuff like that is. Pretty awesome. And to see like my, my oldest him be so into history, which I like, I love history. And to see it this year, like him actually put things together and make parallels between different things. I was like, dude, this is the jam. Like, it's just so great to have that. Freedom. Yeah, I think if I could go back and tell my younger homeschooling self, but this is also just my personality. So maybe there was no possible way that this could have happened. But I wish that I could have understood or just received the concept of. No matter what you do with your kids in homeschool. Being with them is all that actually matters. Everything is going to come out of your desire to just be with them and nourish them. And so it's not about the type of curriculum that you pick. It's not about the type of extracurriculars you do. It's not about you figuring out how to match the learning style of your kid's personality or. Writing the schedule or getting a room in your house, like a mini little school room or comparing yourself to the standardized. You know, bullet points that are happening in public school or doing what everybody in your co-op is, or right. Like if you just, if your heart is in it just to be with your children. And just to spend time and have your life revolve around. Being with your kids. All the other pieces are gonna fall into place. I a hundred percent agree. And I feel like you just get to know them on a different level, too. Like in a different way. And then meeting them where they're at in that space of just like here's who you are and what you're going through or whatever. It's just like, there's just so much freedom and sweetness in that. And I just I just really cherished that for sure. Absolutely. I would say, like to piggyback off of. Y your experience of math going on and on into the summer. One of the big wins that we experienced last year. For me and my kids was my realization that I don't have to teach them math. Yeah, that's pretty nice. We tried the other other way where like I wasn't teaching them. And I was like, oh, this is a disaster. Yeah, I know that this, this changes all the time. Right? At some point we might go back to me being the teacher again. But I was holding on so tightly to this idea of like, well, I'm the primary educator, it's my responsibility. I need to know what they're learning. I need to learn it with them. I need to teach it all. I need them to Marvel at the way that I'm presenting this thing that I don't even understand. And I'm going to make it fun and beautiful. This is just like so much. I was like, oh no, actually what I, what I, what is actually going to work? Is. Here's your own laptop, actually put some headphones on too, and keep it down. Log into this program. Do it as quickly as you can. And then let's move on with the rest of our day. So great. Yeah, that has been a major win. An epic fail for us. Besides just being really neurotic and type a and my midwife TIF. Particular way. Is letting other people tell us what to do. Oh, yes. And spending the first few years of homeschooling, really relying on somebody else and their opinion. And you know, whether it's. Your friend or your education specialist or your charter or your government or. The lady that you follow on Instagram. I mean, looking at that information and thinking that if you can just reproduce it or you can just follow the advice or instructions of somebody else that you're going to arrive. That has never been the case for us. We have always had much more success. Untangling backing up from resources instead of embracing more resources and just simplifying with. What. What is going to work for us. It took us years to figure that out because we were doing what's working for everybody else all the time. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's an easy trap to fall into for sure. And it's extra awesome to be able to look back and be like, okay, well that's what it was. And now you're in a. In a different, more connected space, right? So sometimes. Our epic fails are actually our biggest wins. Aren't they? That. It is the, I would say it's, it's not how fast you get there. It's the claim. It's the clan. Yes, it is. Yeah. We could go on and on about homeschooling though. It turns out that that potentially could have been an entire episode. But we will. We will stop there. Hopefully that encourages somebody who is listening. There's so very much to share about homeschool. That is all we have to share. So go do some Googling and some other spaces to find out, you know, get all of your questions answered. Go Google it. You go Google it. That's the first time we've ever said that on this show, but truly you just should just go look up some things. Okay. So the reason that I wanted to do an episode on this particular topic is because it's kind of like an off shoot. For the postpartum hormone information that we shared several months ago inside of a masterclass. We had a few thousand women. 1000 women. Register for this master class on postpartum hormone regulation. And we want to offer it again again, it is completely free. I was thinking it's so successful. Let's just charge a dollar. Thousand dollars gives me $1 for this class. But it really is a super valuable way. And for us to support women who are already in a space of struggle and having a hard time prioritizing themselves. So it just feels really right to offer it again. For free as a resource and put it out there for you ladies. So do not miss that registration. We're going to give more details at the end, but you can find the link in the show notes too. That's coming up in a couple of weeks. You will want to save your spot for it. It blew my mind, how much I loved. Doing that last time. I'm so I'm so excited to do it again. It was my favorite class we've ever done. Easily. And as we were doing it, I was like, oh, this is just gold. Right? Like, it's just so helpful. So excited to do it again. Okay. Jumping in five phases of postpartum hormones in the first year after birth. Five phases, man. In one year, there are five major transitions that happen after birth and nobody treats the postpartum time. As that entire first year. Except for us and other people like us. But everybody's like, oh, you're postpartum. Yeah. That's over. Like when you recover from your birth physically or when you're done breastfeeding or when your, when your cycle comes back or no, no matter what any of those variabilities are doing in your life. Your entire first year should be treated as this very secret transitional time. Yeah. So right. You, you have worked all these hormones. They've gotten you pregnant. You've been pregnant for quite some time, and then you give birth, right? It's like this, all of that is an odd, huge hormonal dance. And now we come to this place where you're given birth, you are delivering your placenta, right? Your baby's out. Your placenta comes out. At that moment at that exact moment, there is a massive, like off the. Cliff push of estrogen and progesterone, just getting pushed off there. And basically what's going on in your life is that you were sort of on this like oxytocin slash adrenaline rush. For the next few days, and that's holding you over, you're meeting your baby you're so in love or you're processing some stuff that happened there. You're just your, body's like just kind of pushing you through till you get to this day three, which is usually when women are starting to feel a little different hormonally. So. Your prolactin starts to dominate at this point. And usually that's when women are like, oh, my milk is starting to come in. Right. Huge transition and only a matter of a few days. And so then this continues in week three. We're seeing here that lactation is like basically established at this point, or if it's not, it should be, and you should see. A lactation consultant if you haven't yet. But oxytocin and prolactin are now sort of the main hormone players here. They're sort of figuring themselves out. And those are the main hormones that we're looking at. For the coming months, right? Then you hit this third month. This is the time, right? You're not going to an appointment unless you're with somebody like us. Who's giving you. Extended care, but usually around now is when estrogen or progesterone begin to resume their pre pregnancy levels. So reproductive hormones are returning. We're starting to see this shift here. This is sometimes when women are like, oh, I'm starting to feel more like myself. That's often what that actually means. You may not feel that if you're in this space, but that is sort of the common reason. And then. Six months or so, and beyond the cycle usually starts to return. At some point there there's kind of a stabilization of what exactly is going on. Eventually when weaning begins, prolactin is starting to decrease. Estrogen begins to peak again, starting to cause oscillation and your menstrual cycling kind of returns at this point. That is the general phase. You know, that. Those five phases with that being said, That's not a blueprint for exactly how yours will be. Right. We have someone who get their periods back at six weeks postpartum and I'm like, I'm so sorry. And they're cycling regularly from there, or some women who are breastfeeding just once a day. Right. And. Two years later, their periods still hasn't returned. So it can, it can go. Quite a few ways. Yeah. And we're like pretty big advocates for responsible child spacing, mostly just in order to preserve your own nutrient stores and be able to give that to. Future pregnancy. So we're by no means saying if you're still breastfeeding, you gotta just move forward with whatever your. You know, utmost desires are for. How you want to grow your family, but there are plenty of women that we see in our clinic all the time who are ready to grow their family and their baby is, you know, over one or two years old. And they're still doing a little bit of nursing and it seems to be like, it's just enough that their cycles have not returned or they haven't returned with any kind of regularity. And there's some strategies in order to try to get fertility back without weaning or. There's pieces to consider. Con There's pieces to consider and discuss. Of when you know, the right time is to. Actually fully wean so that you can get your cycle back and have another baby. Yeah, it's it's in general. It's a. I feel like this is probably one of the most confusing time for women in general. There's lots of different feelings happening. There's lots of different desires. There's lots of different things that are going on in your body. Sometimes there's just a lack of like, What is actually happening, maybe you're not having a regular cycle. Maybe you're not having a cycle at all. And there just feels like there's those physical and emotional pieces of like motherhood and postpartum and all of that. And then there's like this what's going on with, you know, your husband and like that sexual part of your relationship, trying to figure out, like, where is my libido or is it back or now each time we have sex and we're trying to make a baby. Right? It's like, it's, there's just a lot going on. Yeah, and I have got three steps to try to induce for tablet B while you're still breastfeeding. But before we jump into that, I just have to preface it with. There is a reason that your body is physiologically doing this to you or for you. Right. And we will not honor. What your body is trying to do to protect your child. Spacing. Everyone is different. It takes about six months postpartum for things to start to stabilize for some women. But breastfeeding produces prolactin, which suppresses estrogen because your body does not want to be torn between being the primary nutrition source for one baby. While growing another. And some women are able to get pregnant while they're breastfeeding. I mean, a lot tons of women are able to get pregnant when they're breastfeeding. I would say most women can get pregnant while they're breastfeeding. But there's no guarantee that your milk supply is going to stay. The same that your baby's going to be interested in the changes that happen to milk quality after you become pregnant until your body really does. Very consciously, tried to preserve the most important thing here and, and set that priority before you biologically. Yeah. And anything that we're talking about today is not like here's what we're going to do to change everything that's going on in your body. It's mostly nourishing understanding, like listening to your body, nourishing it. And, you know, assessing any issues that may be coming up. Cause you're like, oh, these symptoms are happening. Right. But at the end of the day, your body is going to do what it's going to do, but we can help support it so that it It's kind of firing on all of the cylinders that it is able to in this season. Yeah. So step one. In this endeavor is be willing to care for yourself radically. And let me tell you, most women in a postpartum phase are not in this mindset of life. It is like the shool. Like opposite of what is normally happening. In your life. You have to be especially aware of mineral stores to prevent pregnancy complications, future pregnancy complications. You need to be taking a prenatal, focusing on nutrient density in your diet, you should be sleeping. Stress. Emotional and physical stress can delay cycling and cause hormone imbalances. So if you see some of these aggravating pieces in your life that are not getting taken care of, this is not the right time to get pregnant. It would be also a great time to check your fibroid, get some markers on metabolic health, your vitamin D levels too, and be aware of exercising. Or under nourishing, so too much exercise or not enough nourishment. Those two pairs together can keep healthy cycling that would have normally returned. At bay, any kind of physical stress. Is potentially going to walk your hormones out even more. And so if you were really well-nourished and had some really good self care routines and boundaries in some of these areas potentially fine tuning that alone is going to bring your cycle on. Yeah. And I agree. I think that the season can be a hard one to do all of those things, but that's, that's an actual step one. That's like the foundational piece. And so if that feels like too much, you can come back to it at a fair. At a future time, but don't sleep on that. Because that's going to help you restore. It's just such a depleting time pregnancy and breastfeeding. And so that's, what's going to help you have a positive experience or one of the things that's gonna help you have a positive experience in your next pregnancy is to actually care for yourself right now in those ways. I think one of the interesting things about this, like kind of season two is some women are it's it's, you're kind of getting to know your body again, and you're getting to know your cycle again. And what is it doing now? And a lot of women that we talk to in our extended postpartum care is talking about charting your symptoms of fertility. And, you know, cycle symptoms, even if your period hasn't come back yet, because you're starting to get a baseline, you can check where your cervix is. You can check your cervical mucus, even if every single day you're like, Nope, Nope. Dry, no note. Right? Because when something starts to shift, you will notice a difference. And so, You know, you want to be able to actually connect with what is going on in your body. One of the things that really can confuse some women is your body can shift how it is deciding to ovulate or not, depending on what your breastfeeding baby is doing that month. So you may have had a regular cycle or what you felt like was more regular, but then your baby Is teething this month and just wants to be on you and is breastfeeding a million times. Right. And all of a sudden you're like, well, where's my period. Oh, I must be pregnant, but I'm not what this is so confusing. Right. So your body may have been like, oh, maybe we might obviate this month. Here we go. And then your baby is breastfeeding and the proactive is pushing all of the things down. Right. And so then you actually don't ovulate and you're waiting for that too. Right. And so Again, this is like just a generally confusing time, but that charting and the understanding of what some of those oblation signs and symptoms are. Potentially even using ovulation. strips or like the temp drop The technology, I guess you'd call it can be really helpful as well. If you were not sure. One, if you're obviating or two, like when that is actually happening. Yeah, absolutely. So that is step two, knowing your body and your cycle is an important part of trying to fine tune some of the pieces because potentially. You are really close to obsoleting. Waiting or having a peak operation. And encouraging that. Place makes more sense than trying to completely overhaul your entire cycle. Right. And then the last and final step in this, you know, Trying to sort out how to make. Fertility a priority while you're still breastfeeding is to inventory your breastfeeding goals and the current rhythms. The more often that you breastfeed the longer that you breastfeed, the closer together that you breastfeed the pacifying breastfeeding, breastfeeding overnight. All of this creates more proactive that is going to suppress estrogen. So there may be some pieces of this that feel really comfortable to shift in your breastfeeding relationship that can potentially. Bring your prolactin levels down so the estrogen can rise and cause you to opulate night. Weaning, for example, is a really common tool for getting a cycle back. Yeah, that one in particular, we've seen a lot of women. And I think part of it, so th. Right hormonally. We're like, okay. Yes, that's great. The prolactin situation hormonally, but then you're also sleeping. Usually a bit more when that night weaning happens. And so that's just an interesting little piece that women are like, oh, I got my cycle back after I stopped, you know, getting up to nurse my baby multiple times a night or something. Not that we are suggesting you just. You, you can sleep train and all of the things as you desire as a parent personally, but mostly just saying it's really interesting because I think also it's just nourishing to get some sleep. Right. Which I think is important. We do have another step though. Yeah. Th there's a step four. It's on the next page of my notes, who knew. There are actually four steps. But if you are like, okay. Yes, that's all well and good, but I don't want to pull back any of my breastfeeding. Experiences or maybe you do, but you want to add some extra supportive pieces. I think that, and you all know one of my favorite hormone balancing pieces is seed cycling. Seed cycling is amazing for postpartum, even if you are not cycling yet. Our seed cycling guide, our free guide has information about what to do if you are not Cycling right now, but you would like to try seed cycling that will give you like the kind of step-by-step pieces for that. You can do some supportive things like vaginal steaming. We have episodes. And information on that. A lot of women love Supportive. Body treatments like acupuncture in particular. That has an incredible amount of research behind it for supporting a fertility. Women will use things like wild Yammer. Vitex the herbs. And we can actually, you know, we're happy to meet with you. Virtually or in person. To kind of talk about some of these pieces and adding those in for yourself in your particular situation. As well. So there's lots of pieces, both tangibly that you're doing. And then also these other pieces to that, like kind of emotional processing as well. That we've kind of gone through and I think that's pretty par for the course for this time and postpartum. There's just so many moving pieces there, but you can take what sounds. Interesting. What sounds doable? What sounds realistic? What sounds You know, like. Something that you can actually start to implement and work towards your family goals. Yeah. So you do have some options inside of this space, right? Like there are plenty of things that you can. Dabble in and consider and refine. While you wait and see. How badly, how quickly you want to get pregnant again? Yes, absolutely. And so, like we mentioned, we are having that hormone masterclass, that postpartum home hormone masterclass coming up soon, that is going to cover pieces of this, but so much more just about what exactly is going on with your hormones, tangible things that you can do at home to help support that. Common things that come up in postpartum, including this issue. And how to actually have some tools what to actually do at home for those things that is going to be live on Wednesday, August 23rd, at 7:00 PM. But at that's Pacific standard time. But if that doesn't work for you or you want to watch it at another time or whatever, there is a replay that comes with that as well. If you can't make it with us live, although we will have a Q and a there. So. It's helpful to come live if you have some questions for us. Yeah. If your time zone allows for it. Register in order to get the invite and get the replay, no matter what. It's going to be about an hour class it's completely free and is all about equipping you to handle this postpartum time with as much grace and stability and support as possible. We're going to give you tons of ideas. For hormone balancing and just metabolic stabilization and all the crazy things that can go wrong. That mess with us in postpartum that you can actually do. In order to support yourself and if you're pregnant, This is also very applicable because there's such a preventative nature to this information. There's a ton that you can do with a little bit of foresight in order to prevent some of the little wonky things that come up in that first year. I'm getting excited, just talking about it, dude. I'm pumped about this class is going to be great. And then we get to present it again. It really was. Just such an encouraging time to do it the first time. And I remember when we finished and we stopped, we were like, oh man, that was just great. Not like we were so great, but just being able to have the opportunity to give this information to so many women who need it. Postpartum care is just lacking so much in our culture and to be able to provide some. Just general information that women usually don't have, but also like natural remedies and all of our suggestions and all these things in one place. Dude can't get better than that. So good. So find that signup link in our show notes, share it with a couple of friends who just need to know that this type of support is available and waiting for them. And we will catch you guys there. And on next week's episode, Bye.