E17: Client Etiquette Part 1

In this episode, Porcelain Victoria professional dominatrix and seasoned sex worker pulls back the curtain on the unspoken rules of client behavior in the world of BDSM. Through candid conversation and first-hand stories, she breaks down what separates the respectful, well-prepared submissive from those who cross boundaries or waste time.

From the art of approaching a Domme to the critical role of communication, consent, and tribute, Porcelain explores what it truly means to serve with intention and what happens when clients get it wrong.

Whether you’re curious, experienced, or just want to hear a dominatrix lay down the law, this is an eye-opening guide to etiquette, power, and professionalism in kink.

Transcript

Speaker 01: 0:00

Hi, and welcome to Behind the Paddle. I am Porcelain Victoria and I am Emily Sun. Yeah. And today we are going to talk about client etiquette in sex work. I'm very excited for this one. It's one of the subjects where I can just like talk about it and talk about it. It's great. It's gonna be so nice.

Speaker 02: 0:22

Oh, that's gonna be so cool. Like you could have on your website, like just like the YouTube video, yeah. Like embedded into the website so that people like have to watch this to know like what the rules are before they come to see you.

Speaker 01: 0:33

Oh, it's like torture garden. Yeah, because they have their rules and things, they have like a little clip. Um, but yeah, oh my god, that'd be so cool.

Speaker 02: 0:42

Nice. Definitely doing that. Yeah.

unknown: 0:45

Cool.

Speaker 02: 0:46

So just to start off, um how do you prefer clients to kind of approach you initially? What is kind of the ideal message you would receive, or like something that you maybe have had quite a lot in the past that you've been like, no, that's an instant, like no, no, no more contact kind of thing.

Speaker 01: 1:04

Okay, so the ideal way, well, it it would be just somebody instantly paying me. Just because my details are there on the website, and on all the platforms around my bank details or like gift cards and things that would be most ideal, but filling in my form because most mistresses, uh, most um escort sex workers, they have a form of sorts. It's very good, it's very nice to know what date, what time, what do you want to do in the session and how long do you want the session? Totally. Um, and if you can pay a deposit as well. So, yeah, the ideal way of contacting me would be fill in my form.

Speaker 02: 1:59

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 2:00

Because I don't want to have to read through massive paragraphs or just just read in general something which isn't in my form format. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 02: 2:11

Which I've presented and is easy for you, yeah. Yeah, totally.

Speaker 01: 2:16

Like I've spent time on making my whole profile, my whole aesthetic, my whole website and things. So out of respect, use it, read it, do that. That shows me that you've actually read my profile at least a at least a bit, and you respect it enough that you've used a format which I want. Yeah. And I've told you to use as well.

Speaker 02: 2:41

Yeah, like they've followed your instructions. Yeah, it's a good start, that's totally fair.

unknown: 2:45

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 2:46

Um, there has been clients who have said, Oh, could could I get a discount because like I'm handsome? Oh my god. Oh my big penis. Oh, that's so cringy.

Speaker 02: 3:00

That's like trivi. What would you even say something like?

Speaker 01: 3:08

No. Um I mean it depends how I'm feeling.

Speaker 02: 3:15

Like, did your mum tell you that?

Speaker 01: 3:19

Like, I it depends how I'm feeling because sometimes I will lecture them and be like, just because you've said you're white, just because you've said you have like a good penis or you know how to please a woman, I'm fucking sure. Um, and like you think you're handsome. I think that's the majority of it, yeah. White, tall, handsome.

Speaker 02: 3:42

Wait, they've been like, can I get a discount because I'm white? Yeah. Well, actually, yeah.

unknown: 3:48

What the fuck?

Speaker 01: 3:48

Yeah, what the fuck's that got to do with anything at all? Like so there are sex workers who won't see people of colour. Oh, right, okay. Um there are the there are some sex workers who are very particular with who they meet, yeah. But some white men think they're just superior in a way. That because they're white.

Speaker 02: 4:12

That's like they're like a discount. Yeah, it's crazy. The white supremacy discount.

unknown: 4:19

Oh my god.

Speaker 02: 4:20

That's horrendous.

Speaker 01: 4:22

Yeah, it's quite common, sadly. And it would be like, oh, I'm well educated. I'm like, I don't care.

Speaker 02: 4:29

I would be screenshotting that shit and outing them if somebody said that to me. Like, that is absolutely like normal.

Speaker 01: 4:36

If you look on my old phone and all my previous messages, you'll find at least 10 easy of men just saying that. And that gives me the ick. Yeah, absolutely turns me out.

Speaker 02: 4:47

It's just like filled me with rage right now. Like I'm like, oh, it's really horrible.

Speaker 01: 4:54

But yeah, there are guys sadly like that, and they'll expect a discount or something. Um there will be people who they'll be like, oh, what's your rates for like Cam or something? Yeah.

Speaker 02: 5:08

And I just try and like, uh and they're just like, oh um, my phone's up there.

Speaker 01: 5:15

I would give an example. I'm just trying to think of how exactly he worded it. Uh this was the other day. Yeah. And he was just like, Oh, I I would I would so see you if you were a bit cheaper. Something like that. Uh and I was like, no.

Speaker 02: 5:35

What goes to my mind is like, I love taking all these conversations that you have with people and putting them in the context of like if you were a plumber. Right? Did I get a discount because I'm white? No. Like it's just but it's the same level of relevancy. Do you know what I mean? Like you kind of just like phone somebody up and be like, Oh, I don't like your prices, can you make them lower?

Speaker 01: 6:00

Yeah, it I believe it is misogyny. Oh, totally. Absolutely, totally, because I said to the guy, I was like, No.

Speaker 02: 6:06

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 6:06

And he was like, Oh, would you do it for this price? And I was like, No. And then he said, Oh, okay, then I yeah, something along the lines of I wish it were cheaper or some shit like that. And I was like, right, look, mate, I've I I would have um I did say to him, I was like, right, I'm not prepared to go on cam for this price, but I will happily text for this price. Yeah. Um, so I was doing him a favour. Yeah. And and he still said no to that. And I was like, right. Well, clients like you really burn people out, burn sex workers out. And I don't want to deal with you if you're always gonna say I'm too expensive and you know my prices, and you can keep your mouth shut. Yeah, there is just no need for clients if you could even call them that, because they can't even get um, they they don't even act like actual clients. They're not spending any money at that point.

Speaker 02: 7:10

They're not a client, they're just interested. Exactly.

Speaker 01: 7:12

Like, I had a guy message me acting like they're again. I had a guy message me this week, and he was just like, Oh, mistress, have you like gone to the toilet today? And I'm like, Yes.

Speaker 02: 7:26

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 7:28

And he was like, Oh no, that sucks. I'm like, sorry, do you want to book a session? Yeah, or are you just here to whinge at me? And he was like, um, what was it? He was like, Oh yeah, I I'd like to book a session, but only when like you really need to, or something. I was like, right, well, you're not gonna catch me last minute because I'm not gonna wait on you hand in foot.

Speaker 02: 7:52

You've got a two-hour window beforehand that the people need to let you know. Let us know.

Speaker 01: 7:57

Exactly. And I'm always not available, and I oh I and sometimes like I don't have childcare and things like that. So it just it's like, why are you wasting my time sending me a rogue message when you don't actually want to pay me or anything like that? And the last message I sent to him was like, right, you can either pay me now or pay me a deposit when you know when you want a session. Yeah. And I got no reply back because they're just time wasters or just people who want to chance it and just are disrespectful. Totally. So I would say don't approach me in any of those. Approach me um with my form or with a nice tribute or both, or just don't don't message somebody and be like, hi, you're available.

Speaker 02: 8:56

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 8:58

Look at my profile and send me the form. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 02: 9:03

I don't understand why you would use want to use a service to someone that you've not read their profile, because how do you know that they do what you want? Like how do you know that they offer the services that you're looking looking for? Like it's a mutually beneficial thing, like they're there for them as well as you. Like, yeah.

Speaker 01: 9:22

I've had guys where I've sent them my form to fill in and they've absolutely ignored me.

Speaker 02: 9:27

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 9:27

And it's like, right, okay, so you really didn't want to see me that much then if you're not gonna respect how I do things.

Speaker 02: 9:34

Like a two-minute form.

Speaker 01: 9:36

Yeah. And people are like, Oh, why are you giving it me a menu? And it's like, it's not a freaking menu, you just fill it in. Yeah, it's a form like any other. Um, but yeah, just approach me like that. Don't don't be like, I'm a white man, give a discount or try and haggle me, because I I really do not appreciate haggling or anything like that. It's just rude.

Speaker 02: 10:00

Like it is, yeah. Um, so honorifics, how do you prefer to be called? Like, do you prefer someone asks you first, or do you just kind of go with what your client wants at that particular time?

Speaker 01: 10:17

What's the what's the vibe? So for me, usually I ask the client what they want to call me. Yeah. Because doing this for seven years, I've learned like things can change on how the client sees you and views you, and it in the ways of I've started off with somebody saying mistress, and then it has gone all the way down to miss and then Victoria. Yeah. Um, and I've gone the the the other way as well. So it all depends what the client wants, really, and what they're comfortable with doing. I'm not gonna force somebody to say something they either don't believe in or don't want, or doesn't it like resonate with them, yeah. Yeah, or it's just not there with them. Um especially if it's BDSM, there is a lot of things to think about and talk about and trust to be earned. Yeah. I I think the whole Oreo Hershey, I don't know which one that was. I think there is the earning of the word mistress, yeah, um, or governess and things like that. Yeah. The the top roles. They're more like a title. Yeah. Um yeah. It's it's nice. I I do think uh as well as the submissive being owned or being called my submissive or something, it still should be earned. Yeah, totally. So celebrated at some point. But yeah, when whenever and whatever, uh as long as I approve it.

Speaker 02: 12:10

Yeah, totally.

Speaker 01: 12:11

The client can call me what what they like.

unknown: 12:14

Cool.

Speaker 02: 12:14

Is there any ones that you just don't like?

Speaker 01: 12:17

Uh don't don't call me a slot in a whore.

unknown: 12:21

Fair.

Speaker 01: 12:23

Like I have had the clients say that while sessioning, and the majority of it is um, I take it those booking escort eye.

Speaker 02: 12:32

Yeah, so that would be a bit like strange to come at me and look at Dominicans.

Speaker 01: 12:37

Well, there was um an Adom booking that turned escort, and so he thought that he could switch, yeah, and then he started calling me names and then I chucked them out, so that was great. Fair but yeah, I I don't like being called names like that. I didn't sign up for being called names like that, and you certainly did not get my consent. Yeah, usually there is no talk beforehand um on what you can call me in terms of like escort bookings, yeah.

Speaker 02: 13:10

Like there's not as much of like a can I sit down before.

Speaker 01: 13:13

Yeah, there's not like a thought process.

Speaker 02: 13:15

There should be. Um So is the form just for clients um that are coming to you for like dominating No, the clo the the form is for everything, yeah. Yeah. So does that not cover like rules about like boundaries you have?

Speaker 01: 13:32

In what way?

Speaker 02: 13:33

Like like you saying like that's not okay for them to say that.

Speaker 01: 13:37

Is that like It's not something that I would think to mention unless the guy and I say guy because it usually is guys that I work with, um unless the guy gives off those vibes.

Speaker 02: 13:53

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 13:54

It's never really something like if he attempts to be dominant towards me, um I'm like no. Yeah. I have had guys in the past call me names and things like that. And it's it's it should be something that goes without saying.

Speaker 02: 14:17

Like I totally get that. Like if it's not something that's happening like regularly, like why would you include it when you can kind of play it by year in a situation? Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 01: 14:26

Yeah, there has been guys who have said it in the past and it's like no. And like I've I've just put on like a horrible look of like, eh, why why? And then I've just made them come quickly or something, yeah. Kill them it. Yeah, and and then had the talk with them afterwards because for me I don't want to kill it because then I could get like a bad review, or I could get or the other guy could turn abusive or something like that.

Speaker 02: 14:59

Like you want to have that conversation when you're away for them because they've already crossed the line. Yeah, I totally get that.

Speaker 01: 15:06

It it's like when guys have like poor hygiene, um you will wound their feelings and things like that. Yeah. And they might not want to continue the session, which it's their fault.

Speaker 02: 15:19

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 15:19

Um But you don't want to like shame them, like at least not when you're with them. Yeah, like usually I will send them a message afterwards being like, wash your asshole. Yeah, wash a penis and things like that. Like there's always like baby wipes to hand and things in a shower.

Speaker 02: 15:34

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 15:35

And they always have that um option to shower. And I think if I mention it more than once, they usually get the hint to shower.

Speaker 02: 15:46

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 15:46

But there has been times where I'm just like, you need to shower. Yeah, you need to like sort yourself out. Again, etiquette. Yeah.

Speaker 02: 15:57

That really shouldn't be a conversation you're having with a grown adult.

Speaker 01: 16:01

I know. I know. It's I just don't understand how any person can go see somebody for services and not be clean. Any services where someone's touching you?

Speaker 02: 16:15

Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 01: 16:16

Like, I don't like I had my uh smear test um a few days ago, and I was like, I'm clean, I'm showered, I've done all this, and it went perfectly fine and things. But like I don't know how somebody something something for that small, I don't know how people, especially when it's a girlfriend experience or anal, I don't understand why people can't wash themselves correctly.

Speaker 02: 16:50

I think it's a lack of education, genuinely. Like I think like there's so much shame and stigma around that that I think a lot of people just don't get taught how to wash themselves correctly, like genuinely.

Speaker 01: 17:01

Um Yeah, I mean I will I I've had clients who will come in and they stink of BO. Uh-huh. Absolutely, and then they take their clothes off and it's like Yeah. But even after a shower, they still smell.

Speaker 02: 17:18

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 17:19

And I'm just like, how do I tell this person? But then they get the text afterwards. Yeah. Um I used to I d there was a guy who aside from like all the smelly asses and whatnot, and people not giving themselves enemas, or giving themselves enemas incorrectly. Oh no, I can just imagine that. There's been times. There's been horrible times. Or when when it's like an uh because usually um strap-on is for me in a BDSM session. Yeah. If it is in escort and it and it sometimes it hasn't been discussed, yeah, the guy, well like with 69 and all something like that, will be like, I'll stick a finger in, and I'm just like, let me get my fucking gloves.

Speaker 02: 18:19

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 18:20

Um, and luckily I bring them the majority of everywhere. Yeah. Because that has happened where like the guy has spontaneously been like, oh, do this and that. And I'm just like, bro, you stink.

Speaker 02: 18:33

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 18:34

Like it's it's gross. And like I know if other sex workers like listen to this, and it could be like, oh, screen your clients and um make sure they don't smell and they wash properly, and it's like that that's not gonna happen. Like for for some people, yeah, if you want to go have a free um trip, free little d dinner day or something, little chat, you can go do that, but that is not what I'm about. I'm not about going to see somebody before they have paid me.

Speaker 02: 19:08

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 19:09

Or even after they've paid me. I I'm not they they can pay for me to go to a calf with them or something. And then I will sniff them, which I don't know. It like what you're gonna do is sniff their ass as well while you're at it.

Speaker 02: 19:24

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 19:24

Like there is no way to make sure that on this particular day this person will be clean. It is very unpredictable. Yeah. And that is what this job is.

Speaker 02: 19:33

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 19:34

Where you could have a client for years and they could just drop their hygiene regime whenever um they see you, basically. But yeah. And it could it could get better if you mention it to them, or it could get worse, or like they could do it on purpose.

Speaker 02: 19:54

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 19:55

Because there are clients who will purposely come see you and shit all over you, literally, because they get off on that in some way, shape, or form. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, sounds amazing. Like, I don't encourage sex work to other people because there are downsides and it is a lot of speedy drool. Yeah, exactly. And even if you do certain things in the industry, even if it's um just doing adult baby or what is like a non like a like non-sexual services.

Speaker 02: 20:41

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 20:42

People can still stink and be out, people can still not have their hygiene, or people could have bad breath. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 02: 20:49

They're all animals at the end of the day. Like, yeah.

Speaker 01: 20:52

So yeah. I've forgotten the original question.

Speaker 02: 20:57

We went way off piece, but um a lot of this was also questions we were gonna discuss, so it's totally fine. Um just kinda going back a wee touch when you were speaking about um not meeting clients beforehand. What is your kind of vetting process? What um and what's the kind of ideal like reception of that? Like what would be like the dream, and then what's like the worst case scenario?

Speaker 01: 21:23

Like uh my vetting. I know a lot of sex workers and people who know about sex work are gonna like but I don't check the passports, I don't check the ID or anything like that. You can come to me like anonymously anonymously in some way, shape, or form. And I understand that's not how other people do it, but it's how I do it. Um sometimes I require a deposit, the majority 99% of the time I require a deposit. In the past I have not. Abs I I just haven't. Um and that's just just because I changed circumstances. And I have previously gotten into not necessarily arguments but disputes with other sex workers because like you can die no matter what. You you can get rid of it.

Speaker 02: 22:24

You can avoid risk, but you're never gonna get rid of entirely.

Speaker 01: 22:27

Exactly. Like what so the only things that I can think of, mm-hmm and anybody correct me if I'm wrong, but the only things you can do if you are sexually assaulted, raped, killed, you have their ID. Yeah, cool, so you've got a name, you've got possibly an address. Cool. And an image, that's it. Which you can track somebody down with, that that's the only thing. Yeah. But but that is also if the police care.

Speaker 02: 23:03

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 23:04

There's a lot of elements to it, I feel. And it'll depends if somebody cares. So yes, it's good if you absolutely screen your clients, and I would encourage people to do that. Yeah, totally. And people can think of me as like silly and things that I don't fully screen clients, but this is just the way I've done it. Yeah. And it's worked fine for me. Yeah. There I I'm sure there is horror stories of other people and things like that. Like I have been like stealthed before. Yeah. Um, I have had a guy. Sorry, do you want to explain what stealthin is, just in case anybody doesn't know what so stealthing is when somebody slyly, without your consent and knowledge, takes off the condom uh mid sex, basically. Uh yeah. I've I guess you can do it with oral as well, to be fair. But yeah, without your knowledge, without your consent. And that would that was not fun. No. Um, but I chased him out of the building. That was that was nice.

Speaker 02: 24:17

That that is sexual assault, like that's Absolutely.

Speaker 01: 24:20

I I possibly still have his number. Um, but I've never went to like the police or anything like that because I just I would rather report it within the community rather than going to the police because I don't really think they would help that much. I think it would be more sadly more trouble for me rather than actually going.

Speaker 02: 24:47

Yeah, which is so sad. Like it shouldn't it be like that, do you know what I mean? You should not feel like you cannot go to the police. But it's just the way the it's like reality, really. And I totally understand, I totally understand. Yeah. It's just it's really sad. Like that's the whole fucking point in the police, you know what I mean? That's literally what they're fucking there for.

Speaker 01: 25:10

Yeah.

Speaker 02: 25:11

I was I'm just so angry today for sure. It's probably just other fucking horrible shit that's going on in the world.

Speaker 01: 25:20

Yeah, I would encourage screening your clients because if anything does happen, you have all their information. Because so some sex workers even go as far as to get their like job and things. I I don't believe in references as well. Uh-huh. Because recently there's been a lot of commotion about how references mean shit. References like what you would have if you were getting like a hit, like a So like this was the previous mistress who I've saw.

Speaker 02: 25:54

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 25:55

Oh. I don't trust any of that.

Speaker 02: 25:58

Why would that like traditionally, well say generally, I feel like mistresses want to keep their clients. So why would they sit and write them a reference for them to go elsewhere?

Speaker 01: 26:08

Yeah.

Speaker 02: 26:09

Like that doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 01: 26:10

I'm not saying it would never happen, but like it seem I So there are mistresses out there who understand, like I I understand that um that clients can have a different mistress every month and fully.

Speaker 02: 26:26

But would you write them a reference?

Speaker 01: 26:28

No. That's so much work. Like how much I wouldn't because it doesn't matter. It doesn't make any difference to you. Yeah. Well, it's more they could be peachy with me and then absolutely horrible with this mistress. Yeah.

Speaker 02: 26:45

Totally.

Speaker 01: 26:46

So the reference means fuck all because I I'm not your landlord. Yeah. You're not but getting a pr another property or something. You're not getting a job. Yeah. The reference.

Speaker 02: 26:59

There's no like a performance like review to like back up.

Speaker 01: 27:06

I I think what we say now, really, in the industry, most of us, is just don't trust a client at all. Yeah. Um, don't ever be on their side. Sorry. But it's way too easy for them to screw us over. Yeah. Because people lie all the time. Exactly, which is why I would never give a reference.

Speaker 02: 27:30

Yeah. Because people Then you're putting your name to that person. And that just I like why would you do that for somebody that even if you've known them a few years, like you're you're not having a personal relationship with them to know what they're like all the time. You know what they're like for that period of time where you're like fulfilling a fantasy for them, where they're like acting out with potentially acting out with how they normally are.

Speaker 01: 27:53

Yeah. Like uh there was a guy who he had if he listens he'll know who he is because I've only came across somebody who has actively went out with um what is it called? They're on this bottom, but they're not herpies. No, they're not a herpes, but they're like are they they're not moles.

Speaker 02: 28:23

Not hestamine. There's another H in it.

Speaker 01: 28:29

Like the I normally use He's got warts. Right, okay. That's what he's got. Yeah So he's got anal warts and they're quite there but with Watts they spread um by touch and things like that. Yeah and he was trying to convince me to session with him, and I was like, no. And he was like, Oh, well, I've session with this mistress, and he was like, Oh, she she's been okay with it and everything. So I asked her, uh huh. And she was like, No, I don't remember.

Speaker 02: 28:58

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 28:59

Uh I did message another worker and she was like, Oh yeah, I've seen him and whatnot and things, but I I still didn't see him because that doesn't make a difference to where your boundaries are. Yeah, yeah. Like, why would it? Absolutely. So yeah, I I would definitely say screen your clients, but don't believe the references. Yeah, get take them with a pinch of salt because it's not necessarily the mistress's reputation up for stake, but it is a wee bit her giving a reference, but it's also the like if like the client fucks up like why would you fuck it up so much? Yeah when a mistress, a reputable reputable that word reputable, yeah has mistress has given you a review. Yeah. Um reference. Because there has been people on like adult work who clients they've had such good feedback and then I've seen them and have been a total dick. Yeah. Has this been like on the website?

Speaker 02: 30:18

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Has it got people's names attached or is it like anonymous? Names attached. Oh right, okay. So it's not just like paid for like reviews then. Do you know what I mean? See how people can do that with like eBay and stuff. I don't know. It's not the same, but like aye. Yeah, yeah. It's still like reviews online on a website, so yeah.

Speaker 01: 30:38

And like you have to make a book and then you have to accept it.

Speaker 02: 30:41

Yeah. So it's quite like regulated. It's not just like random faceless, like yeah.

Speaker 01: 30:46

I mean, somebody on the site itself, they can make a book in and they can give you a review.

Speaker 02: 30:53

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 30:54

Like I've had um somebody like dox me and things. Yeah. And thankfully adult work has like taken it down. But it it's regulated in some way, like it's watched.

Speaker 02: 31:10

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 31:11

But with the adult work system they can comment back. Right. So for example, if I give a negative review, they can comment underneath. Oh. And then they can give me a negative review.

Speaker 02: 31:28

Yeah. So Aye. So it's not really worth your time doing that?

Speaker 01: 31:32

No.

Speaker 02: 31:33

Because you're potentially getting abuse and then also getting like revenge.

Speaker 01: 31:38

Yep. Yep. And if the guy, if the punter is on any forums, then I could get slandered. Yep. It's you can get a lot of backlash, which is why we have certain websites and things that are.

Speaker 02: 31:53

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 31:54

So that that helps. But yeah, some people are afraid to like give feedback in a negative light, which is absolutely fair, and I've been there and whatnot.

unknown: 32:06

Yeah.

Speaker 02: 32:07

Cool. Uh the next two questions. I'm just gonna put like two into one. So um just a wee bit about like when you meet a client for the first time and can they do like a brief on a like what they're interested in and also like what equipment they want to use and stuff. And again, just kind of like the ideal of that and like the worst case of that, like if you've got any stories.

Speaker 01: 32:30

Um so if you're nervous, that's absolutely fine. I will try and put you at ease in any way possible, basically. So yeah, just come in. You can have a cup of tea, we can have a chat, we can talk in detail, we can spend however long you want talking about the session. I absolutely love it when you tell me if you have any previous meetings with mistresses. I don't I'm I I don't go into detail with like what their names are or anything like that. I don't care. Every mistress has their style, but I want to know what you've done, how you've done it, and what you've enjoyed and what you've disliked.

Speaker 02: 33:18

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 33:19

Because that helps me draw a picture of what we're gonna do. And it's not gonna be the exact same, obviously. It's gonna be different in some manner, yeah, because it's gonna have your refleyer on it. Exactly. But yeah, examples are great. Like one thing which I do ask people is what porn do you watch? Yeah, what do you get off on? It's very easy, very simple, and we can just explore.

Speaker 02: 33:46

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 33:48

Don't ever like be afraid to not tell me the truth. And we go by well, I I go by the traffic light system. So green, you're enjoying it, amber, not so much, and red, you do not like it. Yeah, red for me does not mean stop, you say stop.

Speaker 02: 34:05

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 34:06

Um, and and then we can take a break. Breaks are absolutely possible, it is all up to you. I would say disclose any medical things you have had done. I have been in sessions where somebody's heart rate has gone really fucking high. And I'm like, well, you you might die if we carry on. So we're gonna take a break and you can have a glass of water.

Speaker 02: 34:35

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 34:36

And I've had sessions where a guy multiple times has like fainted on me. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 02: 34:44

Um because he didn't disclose something or um, yes.

Speaker 01: 34:50

He had um a bit of fainting spells, yeah. Uh in that like recent week and the week before, I believe. Yeah. And he didn't disclose that to me. So here's me five uh five foot five dealing with somebody who is at least six foot six, yeah, trying to get them off a cross.

Speaker 02: 35:11

Yeah.

Speaker 01: 35:13

So yeah, that was great. And then I think I was like, right, go doctors, everything like that. And he came back like a week later, I think, and then fainted again.

unknown: 35:25

Yep.

Speaker 01: 35:26

And then Did you change tactics? Oh, it was like it was nothing with like what I was doing. It turned out he had like a heart problem or something. Ah, right, okay. Uh, because he gave me like a follow-up um a week later or something like that, and he was like, Thank you so much, because like I've got like heart problems and taking meds now or something like that. Um but yeah, there's been times where people haven't disclosed stuff, like if you've got like PTSD or if you don't like enclosed spaces or being tight or something like that, tell me. Yeah, absolutely, because it's there to enhance your session. Totally. I have had a session, if you want to call it that, where a guy has walked in, and this was when I first moved to Scotland, and I had a small little room with a bed which had granny covers on it and things because I loved the vintage look, and it looked so innocent, and like I think I had like teddies and things with my BDSM gear, yeah, just looking all adorable, and the guy came in, looked at like the shackles that I had, gave me the money, and walked back out because he was that afraid. Alright, yeah. I was like, oh I felt I didn't I f I didn't feel bad, but I felt like sad for him, yeah, because he was that nervous, he just couldn't do it. And then he ended up becoming one of my clients, which I saw on a regular basis weekly.

Speaker 02: 37:06

Until they got past the yeah, yeah.

Speaker 01: 37:08

Um, because I think the next time I went to him, because it was in his own space to do to just kind of try and bring them into shell.

Speaker 02: 37:17

Oh, that was really nice.

Speaker 01: 37:18

Yeah, it was alright. And then he got too obsessed and they said he loved me. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. But you fixed them. Some extent. Some extent. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. He realized he was more into BDSM, I want to say. And specific kinks.

Speaker 02: 37:39

Um just to check, by the way, so is this can he pre-chat included in the time of the session? Yeah.

Speaker 01: 37:47

Absolutely. Like, as I said, the ta the chat doesn't usually the chat's just like 10 minutes. Yeah. But it can be as long as you want. I know there are clients who do not like to have a chat. But not a mind reader, like exactly, exactly. Yeah, there's some clients who don't want to have a chat and they'll just expect me to know what to do. Which I can understand, it's my job, but if I put electrics on you and you like shoot through the roof and whatnot, yeah, uh, and you get scared or you just don't like it, yeah. Then that's not my fault.

Speaker 02: 38:26

Yeah, because you you've not been told that they don't like that. So how would you know exactly? I I it gives them a better experience because you're not having to like check in about everything all the way through. Yeah. Ten minutes is gonna save more time to like it taking up time in the actual session. Cool. Um I think that is pretty much us, other than if you want to do a spiel about how people can contact you.

Speaker 01: 38:51

Oh so I do have my adult work, so Porcelain Victoria is the name which I go on a few um websites. Uh you can contact me on professional mistresses, my details are there. There is I think I'm not quite sure about that one actually. Um my Twitter, Mistress PD, you will find my links all there, everything on my links page.

Speaker 02: 39:25

And which is also connected to the podcast links page, so it should be quite easy to find if you follow us on any social medias. It's all attached.

Speaker 01: 39:34

So you will be able to get like my mobile number from one of those links, possibly possibly more than one. But yeah. Yeah, you can contact me there and um my own website, um porcelaindolly.co.uk, where you'll find the rates and the forms and my emails and things.

Speaker 02: 40:02

Um as always, we've got a wee 10% discount for you guys at thesancuryofsun.com. If you use behind the paddle um at the checkout, you'll get that added to your basket. But other than that, thank you so much guys for listening. This has been the Behind the Paddle Podcast.

Speaker 01: 40:21

Thank you. Bye.