Behind the Paddle
Welcome to "Behind the Paddle", the podcast that explores the fascinating world of sex across a wide spectrum of topics; from LGBTQ+ and feminine power, to kink, sex work and the adult industry. We aim to inform, inspire and entertain, featuring expert interviews, compelling stories, and thought provoking discussions.
Join Porcelain Victoria (a very experienced Pro-Dominatrix of 8yrs) on a funny and wonderfully truthful look at the world through the lens of a BDSM practitioner working in the sex industry.
She will also be answering listeners questions about real-life queries which will be discussed on the podcast. These can be sent in via email or through any
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Behind the Paddle
E30: Strap In: Exploring Pegging with Mistress Victoria Part 1
In this candid and insightful episode of Behind the Paddle, host Porcelain Victoria dives deep into the world of pegging. She explores a variety of positions for comfort and maximum pleasure, techniques for P-spot stimulation, and the wide array of dildos and harnesses available on the market.
Whether you’re curious, a beginner, or a seasoned enthusiast, this episode offers practical tips, personal stories, and plenty of laughs. Tune in for an open, empowering conversation about embracing anal play, dominance, and pleasure without limits.
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Thank you so much for listening 💖
Hi, and welcome to Behind the Battle Podcast with me, Paulson Victoria. And me, Emily Sun. Yeah, and today what are we going to talk about? Pegging. Yeah. Lovely, lovely pegging. So yeah, we are going to talk about what the first stages of pegging?
Speaker 02:Yeah, so in like a previous episode we'd kind of covered like the kind of preparation, the lead up, like what if it's something that you haven't tried before or something that you just want to explore? Explore or be kind of more prepared for. Like first episode kind of covers what what to expect and then can you run up to. And now we're going to cover like the actual act itself.
Speaker 01:Ooh, wonderful. Right, so what is step one?
Speaker 02:Uh our first kind of topic to discuss is lube. Because you cannot do any kind of anal play, especially in the beginning, without using lube. And no, we do not mean spit.
Speaker 01:Please do not use spit.
Speaker 02:Or baby oil.
Speaker 01:Oh god, yeah. Or lotion.
Speaker 02:Or lotion. No, they just because it can go on your skin doesn't mean it can go in you. Well, like people use it to wank with and stuff. Yeah, which like I feel like that's not gone in you to the same extent. Unless it's the pee hole. But there's things that have been specifically designed to do these things, and because of that, they are the best things to use. Exactly.
Speaker 01:Don't use Vaseline as well. Yeah. No, no. So there's a few different types of lube. We have water-based. Yep. We have silicon. Yep. Um, and what else?
Speaker 02:What else is that? So there's like I feel like lube tends to get split into like like just like like original. Uh-huh. And then like anal. And I have like used water-based anal lube as well. Yeah. Um, because like traditionally that was that was the kind of difference. Like water-based was for like vaginal, and then yeah, silicon-based was for anal. But obviously, silicon-based lubes you should not use with silicon toys. So it it was quite limiting in terms of like anal toys. If people were using silicon lube, silicon breaks down silicon, so it's going to waste your toys eventually. Um, meaning I think there was in a market for like water-based anal lube, which is another thing.
Speaker 01:Well, yeah, that that does actually um remind me you can get like fisting creams and stuff. Um they like numbing because there's like ones. Ones that like can numb and some are like peppermint and stuff. Yeah. So there's like sensory ones, there's like flavoured ones. Exactly. Chocolate, strawberry, all that stuff. Um what else? Yeah, because I remember that I got some like clay fisting lube, and like I got some non-clay fisting lube as well, like cream. Oh, yeah, yeah. And like it's okay, it's not too bad.
Speaker 02:Is there a difference between that and like normal anal lube? Because I've really literally is cream. Right, so it's like thick. Yeah, it's much more thicker. And it lasts longer.
Speaker 01:Yeah, and like if you put it upside down, it's not gonna like plop down or like viscous. Oh, that's a word. That's a real good word. Yes.
Speaker 02:So like it's more gloopy rather than like w like wetter. Uh more like solid. That's what I mean. Like like gloopy, like um like wallpaper paste. Like that's quite gloopy. Yeah. Rather than like runny. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 01:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 02:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker 02:Yeah. So I think the main thing between like traditional lube and anal lube is that like like anuses aren't self-lubricating.
Speaker 01:Yeah, very true.
Speaker 02:So like the only lubricant in there is gonna be what you put in there. Yeah. And therefore it's designed to last longer.
Speaker 01:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 02:And like not go like sticky.
Speaker 01:Oh god. The lubes which I've used, because obviously I I well, I I I do it professionally, so like every other day, usually I have a client, and so like I've got gone through a lot of lube.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:You're buying it in like the big barrels.
Speaker 02:I put it in bulk. I do, it's cost go.
Speaker 01:So like right now I'm using liquid silk.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:And I don't know what base that is. Um, but it's really good. Yeah, it's a bit expensive, but it's really, really nice. Very worth it. Doesn't get sticky or anything like that. Yeah. Sadly not sponsored, but it is really, really good. Yeah. I really enjoy liquid silk.
Speaker 02:Yeah, it's something that I'm wanting to get into the shop at some point because like it is good. It is good.
Speaker 01:I know in a few shops you can buy it by like the gallon and stuff, and I'm like, wish list. I know, right? It's good. But it definitely is important to like figure out what lube you like. And I I wouldn't say don't cheap out because lube is like something which helps with the moment and the scene and things like that. Yeah. Because you don't want your partner to like um get all sticky, or you in general, just before you're like, unless that's your thing. Yeah, yeah. Um, because I I know that somebody um a few people make their own lube and they make it really sticky and stringy. I used to have a sub who um he made his own lube, but it was like stringy and stuff, but it was really good.
Speaker 02:Yeah, yeah. But for anal, if you're not using toys, silicon-based, I think, is better. Uh-huh. Just because like water dries out quicker, like it evaporates with the heat and the friction and stuff a lot quicker than silicon does, which is why traditional anal lube is silicon-based, because it lasts longer. You don't need to reapply it as often.
Speaker 01:Do you think with water-based um compared to silicon that's like smoother?
Speaker 02:So I've been using water-based everything for years at this point, just because like I use toys quite a lot. So like it saved picking up the wrong bottle in the moment and potentially wasting things. So like I have kind of forgotten what silicon lube feels like, to be totally honest.
Speaker 01:Um what is liquid silk?
Speaker 02:I'll check for it because uh I can't remember. They'll probably have like I would imagine it will be silicon just because of the texture. Because I feel like it's smoother, but I because our one's quite sticky, but it takes a while to get sticky, so I don't mind it so much, and I would rather not waste my toys. So like this the majority of lubes tend to be water-based because condoms are made of silicon, and if you're using silicon-based lube, it can damage the condom. Ah so the majority of lube is water-based, yeah. And then it tends to only be if it says it's anal lube, then it tends to be silicon-based because like I think because the area's not getting wet. Like, I think water-based like mixes. I I don't know. I don't know the science, but I know that silicon stays wet longer traditionally, but things are improving all the time, and this is why you now get water-based anal lube.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02:But it's I I don't know if it's as good personally. Like, I find that like I need to like use more of it. Yeah, yeah. But I tend to be using twice, so yeah.
Speaker 01:Yeah. Oh, fair, fair. Um, what is the next one? So positions. Oh yes, I know that one. Um I really so whenever I see like a newbie or something like that, I explain to them that the best position is on all fours. Yeah. Because there is no pressure on your back or anything like that. And so it's nice and easy. It's like if you're given birth and you're on your back, there is like a lot of pressure there, so it's harder. Yeah. Um, and it's the exact same with anal. Yeah, everything's more relaxed in that position to begin with. On in doggy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Um, because people do feel a difference. Absolutely. The amount of times that I've somebody has said, Oh, can we go from doggy to like um like on their back them on their back? And then I slide it in, and they're like, Whoa, I can feel this a lot more now. And I'm like, Yeah.
Speaker 02:Because everyone's in a different position, exactly, exactly.
Speaker 01:And there's a lot more pressure, yeah. And yeah, and it can just feel so much more in a good or bad way. Yeah.
Speaker 02:Because everybody's different in it, yeah.
Speaker 01:Exactly. How do you find height differences? Oh, that's difficult. That is difficult.
Speaker 02:Then Yeah.
Speaker 01:And and that is the oh god, because like some people like the position where they're just laying flat on their stomach. Yeah. And I find that quite hard because really, yeah, because like I've got to like do my abs. Yeah. Like proper get right in there and like uh my thighs.
Speaker 02:Of course, because you're kind of like grinding at that point, like there's more friction because you're not just like in the air moving.
Speaker 01:Exactly, exactly, and then you've got to like stabilize yourself, yeah. And it's like doing squats, but like further to the freaking ground, basically, and at a weird angle, exactly, yeah. Um, but I've kept that up for like a record, like half an hour, very proud of myself. Um, it's it's it's oh god, I don't really like the position, but I understand that it feels good for some people.
Speaker 02:And if there is a heat difference, that kind of negates that.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah. Um, I've uh shagged people in the ass in many different positions, like hanging off of the bed one leg up, one leg down, yeah, uh, both legs on the floor.
Speaker 02:Um see I've not got my accuracy done yet, because I feel like people don't talk about this. Or I had never heard it before because of course, like if you're a lassey and you are just having like straight P and V six and you're on top, or just generally you're doing a different movement than you are when you're doing pegging.
Speaker 01:Absolutely. Like the cock as well isn't really situated at the like um top. Yeah. It's more like where like the clit is in like at least my straps.
Speaker 02:It just depends, I think, as well, like how I have to strap mine on proper tight.
Speaker 01:Yeah. Um, and then position it with my hand into the ass. Yep. And then go from there. And then it's usually fine.
Speaker 02:So do you have yours like quite far down then?
Speaker 01:Yeah, because just because of um tightening it and stuff, that's just where it ends up. Yeah. Like I wish it was a a bit higher up. Oh, uh if you are using a strap, um, then wear underwear. Cause like it hurts when you don't wear underwear with it. Like wear something padded, like underwear or something.
Speaker 02:Because like when I've used one, it's been more like right, like in the like more on like my pubic bone. Yeah, yeah. And like, yeah, that can hurt after a while. Especially if it's like a big point. Exactly. Because it's like it's quite a big base to be like your fucking pubic bones. Exactly.
Speaker 01:And if you yeah, if you want to go really hard with it, then uh depend on the dildo as well.
Speaker 02:Yeah, that's what I mean.
Speaker 01:Like I then yeah, it's gonna hurt and it's gonna hit the pubic bone. Yeah. And um the strap that goes underneath, um, if you do have a vagina, then that can just uh make it like rub as well. So definitely have some underwear on of sorts or something.
Speaker 02:See for like if a guy or like someone with a penis is wearing a strap on.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:Does it have to sit a different place? Because does their dick no get in the way? Like, does it have to sit like further up? Do you know what I mean? I would say further.
Speaker 01:Further up, yeah. But there are straps that you know are sheaths as well.
Speaker 02:Yeah, yeah, that you could put it inside and then yeah.
Speaker 01:Yeah, I would tuck it in. I would say do that, honestly. Unless you're gonna attempt DP, double penetration. Yeah. Um But you get shafts that have that as well. I would put a shaft on, honestly, because I feel like having I I'm not a penis owner, so I don't quite know. But I feel like if you had two it's hard enough to do double penetration as it is, um, when you have just two penises going inside of you. Yeah.
Speaker 02:And then if you were to add like a penis on top of a penis, that's just like rug, because they like exactly the feelings not there to like uh control it. Yeah.
Speaker 01:And yeah, I feel that would especially if the guy was shaved as well, that would rub. Yeah. I would think. Yeah. Which isn't good. We don't want no rubbing or anything like that. Yeah. Um yeah, so I feel like that would be hard.
Speaker 02:Maybe caged would work. To just keep it.
Speaker 01:If it was tiny, yeah.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:Because it would need to not get in the right way.
Speaker 02:It would be aye. I feel like it could get in the way. Cool. I just I wasn't sure if that was something that you'd done in sessions before. Like if someone wants to be like I usually use their face. Like a dildo gag or something. Yeah, yeah, fair.
Speaker 01:Yeah. Because it's just more accurate and I can do whatever I want with it in that way.
Speaker 02:Um and then they're getting like the view. Yeah. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 01:I've I've like been on top and had the guy wear a strap on, but I'm still in control in that sense.
Speaker 02:Um I got a new toy a little while ago. This is like a little segue away because it's not it's not pegging. But it's basically like a grind pad that has a hole in it for like the dick to go through. It's good, it's it's fun. Because then you can like grind on the grind pad, but like still get the penetration. That sounds good. Yeah, I'm getting it in the shops and it feels so good.
Speaker 01:No, that that I'll need to get that.
Speaker 02:Yeah, it's got it's got um like the holes for straps as well, so you can like put it on your thigh, or like it's still functional in the same way other ones are, but it's just got this extra multifunctional, that's really good.
Speaker 01:I don't know really if I've seen it.
Speaker 02:I've never seen one before seen it and was like, I'm fucking buying that. And yeah, I've used it a couple of times. It's it's good. Nice.
Speaker 01:I'm also oh, I'm jealous now. That would really work for me. Yeah, that really would. Um, because penetration is good. Yeah, so like that sounds like a very nice toy. Yeah. Sanctuary of sin.
Speaker 02:We will be coming very soon.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:And then, oh yeah, no, what? Oh, yeah, you will, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That was so cheesy and I fucked up and just made it so much worse. It was too cheesy, where we was like, really? Yeah, my brain went, No, not a chance of you saying that. Just gonna embarrass you instead. So yeah. Um cool. So positions kind of leads us a wee bit into the next one, which is like a P spot. Not that that's everybody's goal, but um the prostate. Yeah, so basically, like women or vagina owners. I need to yeah, um vagina owners have like the G spot inside, which I feel like some people have and some don't. It's one of these where like it it works different for different.
Speaker 01:Yeah, but also some vagina owners haven't experienced like orgasms and like humming and things like that.
Speaker 02:The majority of vagina owners don't like um orgasm feel like internal penetration alone.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:Like, I'm sure it's like 60 odd percent. Like it's quite eye.
Speaker 01:So like I do with penetration, it's the outside stuff.
Speaker 02:Yeah, it doesn't do it for me. Like the opposite, but like in Hanu Ma G spot, I'm squirting. Like I don't like I feel like it's no I I described this hilariously the other day. I was speaking to somebody and I was like, I feel the build up, yeah, but like it feels like I need to like the way uh the analogy I used was like as if you were gonna cough but then you sneeze. Like I never like I get the build up but then it like changes direction, like it never goes that way. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 01:So yeah. Yeah, it's it's yeah, I get the build up when um oral and stuff, but it just doesn't feel like it's good enough.
Speaker 02:Yeah, it doesn't like tip you over the edge.
Speaker 01:Exactly. Like it feels really, really good, but I'm not gonna come really with that.
Speaker 02:Like see, that's what I'm like with just penetration on its own. Like I need like some clip stuff, or it's just not gonna happen. I'll get the build up. I I tell a lie, I have once. Uh-huh. And I it's one of them where I'm like, I don't, I'm no sure, and then I'm like, if I'm no sure, it probably wasn't it. But it's the closest I've like came to it. But that was with like a lot, a lot of foreplay. So like like multiple hours, like it was like it was a lot of work to get there, and um it would be it would be good if that was the case, and that was what happened, but I'm really not sure.
Speaker 01:Yeah, it's like um like my wand is my best friend, my lovely Darksy. Oh I thought it nearly died on me even at it it went from like really top speed to bottom like low speed and then it went back to top, and I was like, oh yes, we're back. I was like, please don't die on me. Because I've got like two in the corner. Uh-huh. Oh, I've forgotten to give them to my sub. I was gonna give them to my sub to see if we could fix. Yeah. Because I've got two which just broke. Yeah, I think two. Maybe three, which just broke on me. I just I just didn't return them. Doxy's amazing with their customer service, it's just that I have ADHD. And like I just never got back to them. I actually sent them the stuff to repair and things. Yeah. Um, I did send one of them back and they did give me a new one. Oh, decent. They're really, really good. Um, but yeah, no, oh the Doxy. Because like I I squirt occasionally. Yeah, it depends on the movement and things like that. But yeah, yeah. Prostate.
Speaker 02:Yeah. So the prostate is the penis owner version of the G-Spawn, but is located inside the ass. Yep. Well I've heard it described as like two knuckles in, like of fingers. To like the belly button side. That's what I've heard. But I feel like it's different on different people.
Speaker 01:Different on different people, yeah. Absolutely. Like, um, I would say that I've put my fingers in and like knuckle deep? No, two, yeah, two, like, yeah, yeah, there. Um, I've felt it very clearly. Yeah. Because it's more uh pronounced when they have a boner.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:Um, so you can actually feel it more.
Speaker 02:Do you want to describe what what you're kind of feeling for?
Speaker 01:I should hope this is the prostate. This is where it's absolutely go wrong. So for me, when I go in, it's like a lump.
Speaker 02:Yeah. And like on like the wall.
Speaker 01:Uh yeah, on like the bottom part.
Speaker 02:Yeah. Um if they're bent over. So like it's towards like the stomach side.
Speaker 01:I always do I so with me, the majority of me playing with the prostate will happen like on all fours.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:Because I can clearly get to it.
Speaker 02:Um You see what you're working with. Exactly, exactly.
Speaker 01:And then when it's flipped over, then yes, it it's up, and then you go pew pew pew pew, and then they go, I need to pee, and like all that stuff.
Speaker 02:Because the the prostate is like linked with the bladder, which is like I think why the advice is having a full bladder can make it easier.
Speaker 01:Oh, really?
Speaker 02:For like pea spot stimulation, yeah. Because it basically like I think it's just behind it, it's the same way um vagina owners as well. Where I think this is why this is like it's fair to say this is like the like biological male and female like versions of each other because they're they work in much the same way.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02:Um and having a full bladder like can it puts pressure behind so it like makes it more sensitive to I for being a vagina owner, I can risky pissing yourself worth it.
Speaker 01:Like yeah, yeah. Oh god. Um yeah, no, that's what it feels like to me. It's like a little a lump. Yeah, and that lump can be different sizes, absolutely. Um, which bears in mind, always go for a prostate exam. Yeah, always, no matter what. If you're embarrassed, tough shit, go do it. It's very, very important. Yeah. I've had a few clients where like I've told them to like go to get a prostate exam and things like that.
Speaker 02:Because there's been like a change or something, yeah.
Speaker 01:Where a phone, ooh, just double check that. Yeah, just double check. Yeah. Um, and sometimes you might not even find the prostate as well. In general, there's been some assholes that I've been digging in, and it's just been like, where is it? Where is it? I'm gonna press down on everything, where is it? Yeah, like so, like, it's okay.
Speaker 02:Yeah, everybody's anatomy is slightly different. So this is what I was saying about like roughly that's where it'll be, because again, it depends on the person. Exactly. Um, but through that you can achieve peacepot orgasms, which again doesn't need to be the goal in Pegan, it doesn't even need to be something that you're thinking about, but it's something that some people that's their their goal. That's the aim. Absolutely. And this is why it was kind of linked to positions, because like obviously the aim is to like be what I've read online is like pointing the dildo or fingers or toy or whatever you're using, like towards the belly button.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:Is like the angle that you're trying to achieve.
Speaker 01:Oh. In what position exactly is the story?
Speaker 02:Any position.
Speaker 01:Any position towards the belly button.
Speaker 02:Is the is like the the angle. But again, it's gonna depend on the person because why do we have curved decks then? Because it curves up and in.
Speaker 01:Up and in. So like But that's if the G spot is like right near the asshole opening in a way. Yeah. I think it's alright, long curvy decks.
Speaker 02:Yeah, but like so if you look at like an anatomy diagram, like the like folk's decks like become runned and under. And like then they like can they slope up and in the like the ass. Right. Like in internally, which is why the P spot works.
Speaker 01:Oh.
Speaker 02:So like but that full section will be able to get stimulated. It's just that that one wee bit it's like how like general vaginal penetration feels nice because it's the same. But there's that one Wii special spot that's just extra good. Yeah. And like anal is the same for guys where or like for penis owners, where there's like a whole like section that can achieve like sensation, yeah. But then there's just like that one Wii special button in there that's just like fuck yeah.
Speaker 01:Interesting. That's good, yeah. Okay, that that makes sense, it does.
Speaker 02:So this is why I was saying again, like, not everybody's goal is to hit the P-spot. So like there's loads of different types of sensations that you can get through like anal play that different toys would achieve out with just trying to achieve like P-spot, a P-spot orgasm or simulation or whatever.
Speaker 01:Yeah, and don't be upset if you like can't find a prostate or anything like that, or you can't have like a prostate orgasm. It takes time, yeah.
Speaker 02:It's one of these things where like it's new, it's different. Like one of the things I feel like reading online like guys tend penis owners tend to like masturbate the same way all the time.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:So they're no used to like being outside their comfort zone when they're coming, and that can be like a wee mental like roadblock to actually achieving that. Which is why taking that out of the equation can sometimes mean it happens accidentally because they're no thinking about it and focusing on it and getting in their head and like putting too much pressure on the situation.
Speaker 01:Yeah. Interesting, huh? The more you know, yeah.
Speaker 02:Like apparently one of we should have spoken about this in the preparation thing, but I totally forgot about it. Was like if you're a penis owner and that is your goal, starting off by trying to masturbate in different ways and sitting in different positions to get you used to actually achieving orgasm not in the same way every time and getting stuck in almost like a rut with it, yeah, where you can only come doing that.
Speaker 01:Yeah, that that makes sense, absolutely, yeah. Because that I mean the amount of times that like I've played with myself or whatnot, and like try to do different things to like proper orgasm and stuff, you should absolutely play around.
Speaker 02:Absolutely, totally it just expands your horizons a bit, exactly, and it will make it a hell of a lot easier.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah. And like foreplay as well, yeah, and like gearing up to it, like that matters as well, definitely. Getting comfortable, relaxing. Yeah, like I've been told I'm relaxed in my fingers and someone.
Speaker 02:I feel like this is a thing that like vagina owners have had to do like naturally almost. Where like I don't feel like orgasm and especially with a partner, like comes naturally to a lot of people, like it's something that they need to kind of work on a bit, potentially.
Speaker 01:In what way, sorry? Sorry.
Speaker 02:So like if you take like penis owners traditionally, like they're kind of stereotype as it like they can come in like five settings. Oh, you've seen it. Yeah, I have seen it. I have seen it. We've seen it and we've heard it. It's easy, it's quick, it's low effort, it's they don't tend to explore themselves, they don't set the mood, they don't do like foreplay for themselves. It's just this like traditionally, like it's just I need meads met, boom, done.
Speaker 01:Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 02:So I think when like they then move on to try an anal, yeah, and there is more of this build-up needed, and there is more of this exploration needed, and this relaxation, and like all the things that I feel like vagina owners traditionally tend to have had to do that to get to a place where they're comfortable. I understand. Um to actually do it. Yeah, like it it's second nature at that point where it's not like them having to learn a whole new set of rules essentially to be able to like achieve it and people get frustrated because they're used to just one pop and done.
Speaker 01:Ex yeah, yeah. Whereas this, like when it's like when somebody comes to see me, it's like I can I I can light a candle. I can you set the moods. Yeah, the lights can change colour, yeah. And like my hands, uh my nails are going up and down you and things. And like I'll talk you through it, like especially if it's like your first time or something like that. And I will happily explain to you what is going on, and yeah, I think traditionally with some people it is just one and done. And like with me, um, especially with like my upbringing and stuff, I had to figure out how to do certain things, and like what actually was nice and what did I personally enjoy? And like, is it good when I hold my breath? Is it good when I don't hold my breath? Yeah, because I I did try it the other night actually, actually not holding my breath, and it was so much more fucking difficult.
Speaker 02:I found it so difficult. You get stuck you get stuck in habits with things, and it's quite hard to like try and break out of it.
Speaker 01:Because I usually hold my breath when like I'm about to come on things, yeah.
Speaker 02:Um see that's like I've never done that, and I'm not I'm not like I just like that. I might try that and see how that changes things. Do you know what I mean? Because it's good to just like explore.
Speaker 01:Like it's good to breathe too. Yeah. Because like I was trying it and like um breathing like While you're in that moment as well, trying to not breathe rapidly because like when I stop breathing then um like then like I feel the like rush and like of like oh I'm gonna orgasm, I'm gonna do it. But then when like I was breathing, yeah, um, and every time I took a breath, it would like go back down, but I would feel it go up and then go back down.
Speaker 02:So like edge in your fill, basically. Yeah.
Speaker 01:I fucking hate that. But it was still good. It was still a really good orgasm at the end of it. Like I didn't know my breath. That was really good. Yeah, good job. I know, right? Like every f like every little thing can change. Yeah. And like, say for instance you saw a professional and it didn't go the way you planned at the start because maybe you were too nervous or it was too different. Do not worry. That's totally normal. Exactly.
Speaker 02:Totally, totally normal.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because as we always say in other episodes, like you're a lifestyler and I'm a lifestyler as well, but I do it professionally, which I it sounds so stupid in a way. Um so like I'm used to seeing people who I've never met before and then fingers in the asshole and things. Yeah. And sometimes people can't come. Whereas I feel like with a lifestyle, it's a lot more getting to know the person and a lot more closer.
Speaker 02:So like You've got like a really you've got a level of comfort there already.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:That you're not having to like try and create within a limited amount of time.
Speaker 01:Exactly. Um so like yeah, do not worry at all whether you're with somebody, like a partner, or somebody like you've met on like a one lifestyle. Yeah. Yeah. In any situation, don't worry. Like, it's not like major. Yeah.
Speaker 02:Like it's as like a human yeah, as humans, we don't really like new things. Yeah. Like I I think it is highly unlikely that many people have managed a peaceboat orgasm on their first attempt.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:I think it's highly unlikely people have managed it on their fifth attempt. It's one of these things where like it's hard enough as is, but I think for penis owners and like a bit not for everybody, but a bit from what we spoke about, I think that does tend to make it more difficult because there is a lot more prep goes into it than what they're not used to.
Speaker 01:Yeah. And if like I feel like um certainly with me, if you come see a professional, there will be talk. Yeah. It it won't just be like, oh, lay down and like sexy and stuff. It'll be I'm gonna insert two fingers inside of you. If it hurts, well, even yeah, exactly. Just like I always say that as well. Um if when you if you take deep breaths, it will like calm you down, calm your heart rate down. And because like for me, because for me, when like fingers go in, it's like the ring of fire, and like it can be a lot, it feels like a lot in like the first few minutes, yeah. So like until you relax, exactly, yeah, deep breaths, um, so it relaxes your asshole because when you breathe in, your asshole goes like that, and then when you breathe out, it relaxes. And I love it, I'll genuinely love it when I have people um who I see, and I tell them all this, and they're like, Wow, like they didn't know, and so I'm like that's the joy that I get from my work as well, where it's just teaching people new things and like how to work through it, yeah. Um yeah, the choice.
Speaker 02:So is that some is that does that tend to be a name in your sessions? Is that something that people come in and they're like, I want to achieve this? Or is it more like they just want funk in us?
Speaker 01:Um they want to try it, yeah, and they wanna see if they enjoy it. Yeah. I feel like the I feel like more and more people, especially the younger generations, are wanting to explore. And it's more open and it's more um what's the word? There's like more freedom and not not as much judgment as there was back in the day. Totally, totally. So I'll just get people like because I do like specialise in like newbies and stuff, I like to say. Yeah. Even though like I do um leather and latex and stuff like that, I do uh specialise in having newbies brought into BDSM and like just strap on because they just want to try it.
Speaker 02:They just want to try it, yeah.
Speaker 01:Yeah. Um, I do get the odd guy who's like, fist me, and I'm like, Yeah, let's do it.
Speaker 02:Um that's another episode. Yeah.
Speaker 01:And like I do get like experienced people who do want to achieve something. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's always great when I'm in a session with somebody and they're just like, Oh yeah, I want to achieve like two fingers, or like actually having a penis, like a a dildo in there. And it's like, yeah, nice. Yeah, we can do this, we can do this. Exactly. And like again, don't feel any pressure that like you need to achieve something, yeah. Because it's happened before where I've put in like two fingers and have gone, that's enough. Yeah, like it can which is plenty when you're starting out. Exactly. Like, even if like you've got like uh I know I've seen people like Crohn's and stuff, yeah. And like IBS and stuff, yeah. Yeah, where like their stomach is just not having it that day, yeah. Even if they are like seasoned, like don't feel sad, yeah.
Speaker 02:It's just it's a human body, exactly, or not in control of all its processes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, cool. Um dildo variation. Oh because I feel like there's very much, not always, but there can be a a distinction between vaginal toys and anal toys in terms of shape and kind of curvature, which we were kind of speaking about a bit earlier. Yeah, and firmness I would say as well.
Speaker 01:Yeah, definitely. I wouldn't say anything too hard in the ass. Yeah, keeping it a regular boy, yeah, keeping it nice and soft to medium, yeah. I wouldn't go hard. Yeah. Because depending on the length, it's it's just gonna hurt. Yeah. It's gonna hurt your anus. Yeah. Um, and it it's gonna hurt um the inside.
Speaker 02:Yeah, the skin's quite sensitive in there, and it can tear quite easily. Easier than you would expect. Exactly.
Speaker 01:You're not like tear trying to tear down the walls or anything like that. Um, it's like when we were talking about pegging uh part two, I want to say. Yeah. That I had somebody come in and the cock was like an easy 12 inches, and he it was solid. Yeah, and like he wanted to attempt to get it all, and I was like, mate, it's 12 inches at least. Yeah. And it was solid. That's not that's gonna hurt you, and it did. Yeah. Because um he thought he could take it all, and I was like, no, mate, it's like like anatomically, it's like there's a there's a section that's a certain space, and then it curves after that.
Speaker 02:Yeah, and if it's too hard, it's not gonna do that. Like you need something that's gonna move with the curve, like it can ch it can change the curve because it rearranging your insides, like rearranging your guts is a thing that can happen. Yeah, but you do not want to be doing that with something that's solid.
Speaker 01:Oh.
Speaker 02:It needs to be pliable to match its destination, basically.
Speaker 01:So you can get um anal training toys in the ways of lengthy boys. Yeah. Um, if you were to go have a look at my profile, on any of my profiles, um, I'm sure we might if we're gonna attempt it, I'll put it up on the blog or on something. Yeah. Um a picture of different toys, which like I have, and you have. I mean you can go look at Sanctuary Sin, you've got many toys there. Um, but with mine, I think I've got uh you you don't have lengthy boys. Not really, not yet. Whereas I've got lengthy boys of like different sizes and different types. So like I've got tentacles and I've got veiny ones.
Speaker 02:By lengthy you mean like arm lengths.
Speaker 01:Arm length. Yeah, like it's gonna go like in your colons? Yeah, it's gonna twist things and I've I've literally got a snake dildo called a colon snake.
Speaker 02:Yeah, like it's adorable, but it's so wiggly, like it's uh yeah, it's soft, it's not medium, like exactly you can tie it in a knot.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Um, and like it doesn't have to be thin, it it can be gurfy and stuff like that. Um, the ones which I have I very much approve of. So like it starts off small at the top and then it gets gradually bigger and bigger, and it's soft enough to go through everything, yeah. Like the lovely valves and stuff. Yeah. So yeah, definitely nothing hard and something that's able to be flexible and move about.
Speaker 02:Again, like people can do what they want, but protect your ass. It's probably gonna hurt and you're probably gonna have a bad time.
Speaker 01:Exactly. Um you can get ones that go up. I'm not really that much of a fan of them, really.
Speaker 02:Yeah. It's not something I've used. I don't no, I don't get the point in it, but like, how do you move it?
Speaker 01:Like, is it is it just-they like it's grating on something I don't really like it?
Speaker 02:Like then it's not got like a fli like you're not gonna lose it in there, but do you know what I mean? Like it's not I feel like the like dildos have got like the end to them. Like you know where you're at with it, but like when it's like the snake, for example, like it's going. I just feel like it's that soft that like you're gonna have to like stuff it in. Do you know what I mean? The snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then like pulling it in and out's not gonna be like easy, like it's not about just to put no no, totally. Oh I'm just I'm I'm talking about the snake.
Speaker 01:Like I'm talking about like the cowby dildo.
Speaker 02:Right, it's funny. What what were you saying?
Speaker 01:Because I feel like I've got the snake has a handle at the end of it as well.
Speaker 02:Right, cool. That means really control it. You can really like pull it in and out because it's gonna like screech.
Speaker 01:You can. You can a bit. Yeah. You just have to like redirect it. But there's that much of the snake that like it'll find its way. Yeah.
Speaker 02:Gonna go explore it.
Speaker 01:That is another thing actually. Um, make sure the base of the toy is bigger than any other part of the toy, really.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:Otherwise it will get lost in your asshole.
Speaker 02:Yeah, having something that like comes down and then has like the the thinner part and then it's the same size isn't great. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Speaker 01:Like you're you're making way for something that's big. Yeah. Why are you gonna have the base the same size of the size that you've just accomplished to fit in your ass? Yeah. No.
Speaker 02:It's just gonna get engulfed at some point. Unless you're not putting the full thing in. If it's if it's tapered. Do you know what I mean? So, like, if it starts small and then gets big, if you're only putting the first half in, then it's kinda fine with the base.
Speaker 01:Oh, put it, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, because you need it. Just don't sit down on it. Yeah.
Speaker 02:It's gone.
Speaker 01:But yeah, you can get um the snakes and the anal trainers, yeah. Which are really good because it does open your asshole um if you do want to train it and things. Um, and you can get small ones, large ones, all sorts. Yeah. Um what else?
Speaker 02:What other toys are? So we've got one that's like metal and it's double-ended, and it's like almost like a like a rainbow shape, but like more I don't know how you describe it, I'm gonna talk about it.
Speaker 01:I don't know.
Speaker 02:Like it's not really rounded, it's like more flat. Like it's just a little curve rather than like a big U-shaped curve. Um and it's kinda similar to like the Enjoy one, if you've ever came across that. They are so expensive, so like 120 bucks. But um this one was like kind of similar, but like obviously not as expensive.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:Um, and like we've used it a lot because it's like it's basically shaped to hit the T-spot.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:So that like it's got like a ball on the end, like a thicker part, almost like uh like an anal hook, okay.
Speaker 01:Oh, okay, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02:Um, but like you can put it in and it like curves around and up. And like we've had some pretty good reviews of that. Oh, interesting. And like I think that's the closest we've come. Oh, using one of those.
Speaker 01:Wait, is it this but two balls on it?
Speaker 02:Two balls on the end, you know.
Speaker 01:I know exactly what that is.
Speaker 02:Okay, right, right.
Speaker 01:Okay.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:Oh, interesting.
Speaker 02:So there's like there's a lot of like like P SWAT specifically shaped toys out with dildos as well. Um, because like we've got as well, there's like like love love ends, yeah. Do like a P SWAT one as well, that's like a like remote-activated toy. That's again it like it's got like this is so hard to describe when I know that people kind of see what I've done. It's got like a flat part and then like an insertable coming off one side of that, and the flat part basically sits like almost underneath the bottles and touches onto the like um because I was gonna say taint there, that's so American. What what do we call that part? I just call it a taint. I love it. Go with taint because I kind of think um the valley between the bottles of the valley. But like it vibrates as well, so it's getting like the kind of internal penis part from the outside, and then the P spot from the inside, like it curves around and then it's remote controllable as well. I love to do that's pretty good.
Speaker 01:It's put the wand on the prostate, yeah. That that hits a that goes, whoo! I'm like, yeah, I didn't know you could do that, did you? Yeah, I love that, I love that reaction. Um yeah, so that there's that is very interesting, very interesting.
Speaker 02:Yeah, so there's there's lots of toys in in that region as well, out with just dildos that like just look up P-spot, yeah, like sex toys, and you'll get a whole host of loads of different things, but all of them have that curved shape, yeah, for the most part.
Speaker 01:Ah. Just make sure they're not too hard.
Speaker 02:Yeah, yeah. Aye. Like the metal ones, obviously solid, but you're not putting that really far in. Like you're literally it's shaped to just go in these two knuckles, essentially. Sounds good. Yeah, it's aye. I recommend it.
Speaker 01:And it's a mushroom with smoke ones. I've never explored that. Just using one of those toys.
Speaker 02:Plus, because it's metal, you can do a lot of sensations with it. Like you can put it in the fridge, you can like pour warm water over it and heat it up.
Speaker 01:Yeah, that fridge, not freezer.
Speaker 02:Not freezer, definitely not. Do not put metal things in the freezer, they will hurt, they will do damage. It really will. Like, even just running it under cold water might even be better than the fridge. But when I put it in the fridge, it's been for like five minutes. Yeah. Like, yeah. I'm such a dick, it's great. It's like um cool. So we've kind of spoke about the the anal side in terms of like harnesses and stuff. Have you got oh a lot? Is there a lot of variants? Like I've only ever had two. There's a lot of variants. And the second one I got was made of like foam. Foam? Yeah, like it's like foam like pads, and I find that really comfortable.
Speaker 01:I was about to say foam sounds really comfortable.
Speaker 02:Like rather than it just being like material, like it it gives enough like it's it's thin foam, it's not like like padded or not, but like it gives enough. Memory foam, I feel like no, because I feel like that would it would go in it. Like it would I feel like you would lose a bit of control there for the baby. But um, I feel like that takes takes the hit off a bit.
Speaker 01:There's harnesses that can go on your thigh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, once it can go in your boot as well, which is really interesting. It's just a strap in your boot, on the boot. Oh yeah. Yeah, I've seen that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02:That's cool.
Speaker 01:Um, I use I can't remember exactly what it is, but it's one of my favourite harnesses. Um, that's pretty. So there's maybe leather. Yeah, so I have a Aslan harness. Amazing, amazing. I it's one of my favorites, and I have like the cherry red one, and it's so nice. Um, I have that one, I have the dil gags, yeah, but the one where it's on the opposite end, so like I can bounce up and down on it and stuff while it's in your mouth, yeah. And like on your mouth and things like that. Um, but yeah, you can get loads, you can get ones for like um that's strapped to your thighs and uh the crotch area as well.
Speaker 02:Have you ever tried the pants? Because I I had had a look at them and I was like, I feel like they would move a bit too much. Like it feels like the fabric would like move because it's not like do you know what I mean?
Speaker 01:I feel like with the pants, I I just looked ridiculous. Especially because I do it professionally.
Speaker 02:They're not like sexy, or they need to be fixed to hold the weight, basically.
Speaker 01:Basically, yeah. Um, I did have a pair, and I do have a pair. I've got a pair for the Trembler melking machine that's to hold in the actual but I have had one back in the day, I'm sure I could find a picture on my adult work or something like that, with me wearing it with a penis in it. It's okay, but it's not that stable.
Speaker 02:Yeah, that that was my worry, which is why I never like explored that. Like I seen them and I was like, that might be comfier. Yeah because the first like I obviously had just I never had like leather strap-on harnesses or that, I just had like cheap like fucking nylon ones or whatever. And the first set I had, I just it was the it just really didn't find it comfortable at all. So I was like trying to explore it to see what else there was.
Speaker 01:Yeah, you've got one ring, and that is um sewed in usually to like the boxes.
Speaker 02:Yeah. And like you need multiple sizes if you're working with different exactly just steady. Like the ones that I've got, which is the ones that I sell in my shop as well. I've been in the key plugging, but it's fine, it's fine. Um like the they just have like clips around the ring so you can change it out, uh-huh. Which is perfect, like, because you need you need the range of sizes.
Speaker 01:Exactly, yeah.
Speaker 02:Especially if you're starting out and like wanting to move up, because you if you're starting with smaller things, a big ring, it's just gonna move about too much.
Speaker 01:Like and sometimes um oh but that's it. Some some dildos don't come with a base. Yeah. So another favourite of mine, because it has lovely uh foam padding at the back, um, is Doc Johnson. Uh you can get one um which is like the vacu lock.
Speaker 02:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh I like that. Like what comes with like the fucking machines and stuff as well. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 01:With with like the attachment. I really enjoy that because the the cock ain't going nowhere. Yeah. It's stuck, um, it's vacuum sealed on. Yeah. And it's just not going anywhere. It's beautiful. You don't need a ring or anything like that.
Speaker 02:Alright. I really want I'm gonna try and find it because what I want is see how the fuck machine's got like just the base for like the suction that you go on to. Something like that that can fit in a strap-on harness so that you can do the suction base. I know that you would then need to be more careful because the chance of it coming off.
Speaker 01:But like would that hurt though? Would that hurt the bone?
Speaker 02:Would I, because it's a big that was aye. I think that it would need to have like a lot of padding and stuff on it.
Speaker 01:But that's an invention for another thing.
Speaker 02:Yeah, I'm sure I've seen it somewhere, but it was for one of the thigh ones, which obviously it you wouldn't have that problem because the person would then be moving on you, most likely, rather than you moving like your thigh. So but you could do that and then have them go on top, I guess. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah. It would just maybe limit the position that you could do, but something. So a lot of dildo variations, a lot of just general toy variations, if that's something that you want to explore before you get into pegging.
Speaker 01:Watch the glass toys as well, because some of the glass toys don't actually have a frickin' base.
Speaker 02:Yeah.
Speaker 01:I don't understand why they don't have a base.
Speaker 02:I think it's because they're made of glass and having like if you have a bit that's thinner, that's gonna be like then the most vulnerable part because because they have glass works, like then like like a wing glass if they s if they snap that's ex aye, like it's I think that's why they don't because I think it would potentially then yeah, that's its weakest point, and that's nowhere you want it to smash. So moving swiftly on. What else have we got? So double-ended is something that I've come across where there's like basically a part that goes in your vagina, yeah, and then comes out and rounds and is like a deviled. I found those too uncomfortable.
Speaker 01:Yeah, like some the majority of the time the ones which I've had are too fucking hard. Yeah.
Speaker 02:Or like they just haven't hit the position.
Speaker 01:Yeah.
Speaker 02:I'm a selfish cunt because I was like, when we first started, I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna get one of these because it obviously vibrates as well.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02:So it means that like you're getting pleasure out of it too. Absolutely. But I don't know how good they are in terms of like hygiene, wasn't it? Something that I thought about until the first time I used one, and I'm like, this is like a clear channel, it's not very great. Um, the way that they work as well is like you change the angle that like the dildo part is it, so it like clicks up and down further towards the insertable part in a way. Yeah, or the one that I had did, and uh the ones that I've seen mostly have that, so that you can get it positioned inside you and like at the angle that you want. The problem with that is as soon as you start moving, it's clicking and moving away because it's not like you can't lock it in place, so like aye, they're just a bit fiddly. I feel like they're more for like two vagina owners to use rather than it being like a vagina ass situation, because that's yeah, it was one of them when I thought about it afterwards, and I was like, Yeah, that's probably not Semitary, yeah. Just didn't think about it at the time because I'm a horny buster, and it came and I was excited and was like, yeah, and then it was just a bit of a disappointment to be honest. I would not recommend.
Speaker 01:Yeah, the time at which I've used it, it's just too hard.
Speaker 02:Just get a bullet vibrator that you can put in your fucking strap-on harness.
Speaker 01:Yeah, you can get dildos where you can put in um a bullet vibrator.
Speaker 02:You get strap-on harnesses that have a little pocket in them to put a bullet vibrator in as well.
Speaker 01:Nice.
Speaker 02:So that it sits like on your clip. Yeah, yeah. Or ones that have an insertable built into them I've seen as well. Oh, very nice, very nice. It would really anchor it. I feel like that could hurt you, you know, if it was quite solid and then if this if the harness was like moving.
Speaker 01:Potentially.
Speaker 02:But if you get it really strapped on tight out, you might be fine. But yeah. I take it that's not something you've explored with.
Speaker 01:I mean yeah, it's been fine. Yeah. The majority of the time where like I have had to try to bullet in something, it's good, it's okay. Oh, sorry, I meant like the double-ended dildo thing.
Speaker 02:Oh, yeah, yeah. Like, um oh sorry, I've missed that part because I'm also tired and fucking Yeah, you said you tried it.
Speaker 01:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 02:But it was moving a bit too much.
Speaker 01:Uh yes, it was moving about too much, but like like it wouldn't get in like the right position. Yeah. And then it just like the ones which I had were just too hard for like in the way of like penetration. Yeah. So like they weren't soft decks or anything like that.
Speaker 02:Because they're mechanical, so they're like they need to be hard because the inside of them's got a mechanism that the outside needs to protect. So they're not gonna be able to like be flexible, really. Um we did run into that issue as well, but that's more like a one-on-one reflection rather than at the time, because I only used it that one time. Yeah. I think I only used it like once. Yeah, it was just not worth the fucking 50 quid or whatever it was spent on it. It's like, well, yeah.
Speaker 01:Yeah, but I have tried the bullet in like a strap-on or on like a grinder and stuff, because you can really you're gonna be a little bit more. A lot of them have got a wee hole in the bottom for you to as long as the bullet can actually reach inside the ass, then it's Gucci. Yeah.
Speaker 02:I feel like a lot of the ones that you get free or like they're not as good. They're just not as strong. Like the because it's only one battery that's in them, you know, they're just no really designed to reach like the type of vibration that's going to travel through like a bigger dildo or whatever.
Speaker 01:So when I've got uh when I'm paying penetrating somebody, I I put the doxy on. Yeah, I put the doxy on the dildo or like decock or something, and like they're like because it it's fun enough to travel through.
Speaker 02:Exactly. I love my Doxy as my best friend. I still need to get one. I just yeah. They're a lot of money.
Speaker 01:Yeah, they're about 100 quids.
Speaker 02:Yeah, yeah. Like, we've got one of the just the love honey's own like ones, and it's fine, but it's not as good. It's rumbly. It is very rumbly and like it's done as well. We've had it for six years or something. That's fine. Which is really bad. Really should get a new one. I've got some Christmas money, so yeah.
Speaker 01:Right, hi No, it's goodbye. Right, this has been behind the paddle podcast, part one, I'm thinking. Wonderful.
Speaker 02:Because my god, do we talk? We really, really do. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 01:So, yeah, part one. Um, check out all my links, check out dark fans, absolutely. Especially if you want to see us in a lovely sexy lingerie.
Speaker 02:I feel like this was a very descriptive episode, and though we did try our best. If you want to see our hand gestures, that kind of helps things along slightly. Dark fans is the way to go.
Speaker 01:Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Uncensored Market is the 7th of June next year.
Speaker 02:I will remember that day at some point. But we should have some upcoming events coming soon. But we will obviously keep you guys posted as things get planned. Uh, as always, we've got a little discount code for you guys. If you use behind the paddle at thesanctuaryofsin.com, you'll get a little discount off. And I think that is just yeah. Thanks for listening, guys.
