02: What's the right decision? Discover your values and ask them.

This episode is the lighthouse every time you need to make a decision. Why? Because you're using your values to choose, not that loud opinion in your network. In today's episode, we're talking about discovering your values and how to use them to make decisions, because if you can master this skill, you will have so much more self-trust in your ability to steer the direction of your company. 

In this episode, we will cover: 

• How to start making decisions in your life based on your values
• How to discover what your values are 
• What were the times in your life when you were your best self and your worst self, and how your values are present in those moments 
• Why knowing your values can completely shift the way you make decisions 

For more on discovering your values check out:
https://www.alidunn.com

Brene Brown's List of Values 

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Chapters

• 1:18 Why knowing your values so important?
• 4:58 What are YOUR values? // How your business can thrive or suffer depending on understanding your values
• 12:13 How to make the right decision off your values

Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Lucy: You have everything in yourself to make really good decisions that work for you and you are going to be so much happier and more successful when you choose that you have the power to put yourself on the right path. 

Lucy: Hi there. Welcome to The Bold Founder, your go to 

Lucy: podcast for two real convos on shaking up your success mindset, standing out with your marketing, achieving those stretchy growth goals and making bigger moves all while staying true to who you are as a founder, because watering yourself down in here is not an option.

Lucy: I am so excited for you with this episode on discovering your values and using it to make decisions. Because if you can master this skill, you will have so much more. So much self trust and your ability to steer the direction of your company. So go ahead into the show notes. We're going to run this like a workshop.

Lucy: I have a value sheet for you from Brené Brown that you can download and that will help guide all of the different things we're talking about on this pod today.

Lucy: Enjoy the episode and I'll see you in [00:01:00] there. 

Lucy: I used to completely roll my eyes at the word values. I think the first time I actually heard that word, I was getting very unsolicited marriage advice and someone was saying oh marry someone who shares your values and I remember saying okay Like whatever those are but honestly as I've moved into my business journey and into life I've realized how important values really are and uncovering them for yourself and then more importantly actually utilizing them to make big scary decisions because At the end of the day, we're always going to have to make big scary decisions where it looks like it's a fork in the road.

Lucy: And if you choose this one path, then all of these things are going to happen. Then that other path, all of those things are going to happen. And unfortunately, we're not a rom com and this is not sliding doors. And we're going to ask ourselves, okay, well, am I going to want that ghost life that I'm never going to have?

Lucy: And what if I make the wrong decision? And then [00:02:00] you can just immediately move into this spiral. But when you do have your values and. You really feel good about what your values are, and you can always come back to them. It's like you never have to make a decision blind again in your business or in your life.

Lucy: So I'm really excited to be chatting with you in this episode today to really help you get clear on what it is that you value, and then moving into a place where you're actually utilizing those values as decision makers. what are your values really? The way I like to describe it is your values really are your lighthouse.

Lucy: They guide you. They kind of supplement your inner voice if you're into that. And they are very clear cut ideas that you can point to when you think about who you are and what you want. So your values really are this direct roadmap that you can always pull up when you need to make a decision. This way you don't have to ask 500, 000 people, what should I do?

Lucy: What should I do? And you can just tune in and you can think, okay, well, what do I value? And then from there, [00:03:00] make a decision that you feel really good about. And I wish I could say I was born knowing mine. I really do. I think it would have made things a lot easier, but I didn't. And I've made a lot of decisions that are very unaligned.

Lucy: I've thrown myself into things that were exciting. I'd say yes, because I just wanted to seize opportunities. And I think there was a part of me that had this identity of, Wanting to be the downfall for anything girl. So I was that person who I just made fun of, who would ask a million people what I should do because I didn't trust my inner voice.

Lucy: I wanted to just chase the dopamine and I wasn't creating space for what's meant for me to find me. So maybe you relate to that or maybe you're thinking, okay, where do you fall on how well you know your values right now? But if you do resonate with that and you feel like you have a really hard time making decisions and maybe you're indecisive or you make a decision and you immediately think, Oh my gosh, should I make the right decision?

Lucy: I'm here for you. So by the end of this episode, I want you to feel like [00:04:00] you are able to make decisions in your business and in your life and feel secure in those decisions. I wish I could say like this was an overnight process, but truth be told, I worked with a coach shout out to Allie for over a year to get to know my values.

Lucy: And. It proved to me that this process is a long game. So as much as I wish I could change your life in 15 minutes, let's be realistic here and be willing to do this work and get into it and deeply think about what your values are. It's a process. so let yourself have this time. Don't put pressure on yourself to come up with the perfect values at the end of this episode, or be an amazing decision maker.

Lucy: But I think what's important about this value conversation is where I am now. And I feel really solid about them. And that's another thing that I think is cool is when it comes to your values, they don't change a whole lot. If you can figure out who you are through your values, you can use those as light posts for, I don't want to say the rest of your life because we're all, people, we're not trees.

Lucy: we are going to shift and change, but [00:05:00] usually they stay pretty solid. So my values, and I'm going to keep referring to this, throughout the episode is connection. levity, efficiency, and creativity. I'll say those again. I'm going to put those out there. Connection, levity, efficiency, and creativity.

Lucy: What this means is when I make a business decision or a life decision where my values are being nurtured or they're present, I am operating at my highest. And when they're not, something is missing and I feel ungrounded, chaotic and empty, you know,all those feelings that when we feel them we're like, wow, something is so wrong and I don't know what's wrong, but I know I'm not in it.

Lucy: And even though this feels very internal, if you are a founder, as most of you are, when you're not building something in a way that's aligned with your values, Your ROI suffers because when you're not fully behind it thinking, yes, I'm all in, it's so hard to make that move. That's going to propel [00:06:00] you to the next level.

Lucy: Oh my gosh. I love game changers. Next level, all those words. So let's get into the meat of it and let's find your values. maybe as you've been listening to this, you've been thinking, okay, these words are coming through and they feel like a hell yes. These are my values. If there's a word that's coming through, listen to that nudge, write it down.

Lucy: I don't care if you're on a nature walk or you're sprinting on the treadmill, don't die, please not on the first podcast. And I want you to write this down somewhere. But for a lot of you, you're probably thinking about this conversation and thinking, okay, well, I don't have a word where I think this is 100 percent my values that I'm ready to put it on paper.

Lucy: Fine. we're going to do an exercise. I want you to close your eyes again. If you're sprinting at nine miles per hour on the treadmill, please don't die. Think about a time that you were at your best. It can be a really big moment. Like when you founded your first company, or it can be a really little moment.

Lucy: Like on last week's walk, when [00:07:00] you saw a mama Robin feeding her babies, just think about it for me. And I just want you to really, instead of intellectualizing it, really feel into it, get into the sensation of where were you? What were you feeling? Who were you around? All of those little details are so important.

Lucy: Sink in for me another moment. And then when you can really get the sensations in your body about what that moment was doing for you. Now I want you to intellectualize it a little bit and think. What made you feel so complete and authentic inside? Maybe it was the rush of working on something that you're so passionate about.

Lucy: Maybe it was the fact that you got your sleeves up and you did the thing, you know, maybe, it's around that space or that emotion. So for you, I would say, okay, your values probably land somewhere around impact, creativity, adventure, independence. But let's say you were in the camp where you were thinking, Okay, well I actually more on the, are on the side of the peace of watching the birds.

Lucy: you're probably, [00:08:00] your values are on the side of introspection, nature, family, and groundedness. Obviously these are very black and white spectrum examples. There's a million and one different ways you could take this question. But I want you to just get the ball rolling and think about this moment. And then I want you to think about it for another moment, and then another moment, because the thing is, your values don't just come out of one moment, they come out moment after moment, and then you're able to find patterns between those moments.

Lucy: And then from there, you're able to start saying, Oh my gosh, every time at work, when I collaborated with someone, I was just so happy, or maybe it's the opposite. And you're thinking, Oh my gosh, at work, every time everyone just got out of my face, I finally got some damn work done. There's no right answer and you can take this outside of work, even if you are using your values to grow your company, you can take this outside of work and think of my best relationship.

Lucy: Why was it my best relationship? My best day on vacation. Why was it my best day on vacation is because I had this [00:09:00] amazing itinerary and I felt like I was able to do so many things, or was it because I had no itinerary and I was able to lounge at the beach all day and no one was able to tell me anything.

Lucy: So just start thinking about these things and feeling into them. And then that's kind of the fun part. But after you do this with the great moments, I want you to do this in the moments you felt really low. So if we kind of go back to the beginning of this conversation, when you're operating at your worst, it's because your values are not present.

Lucy: I want you to think about that friendship that just dragged you down. Every time you had to FaceTime that friend, you were giving yourself a pep talk like, Oh my God, I got to talk to that friend. And you didn't really know why, but you were like, Oh God, I got to talk to that friend. And we all have it, let's take that friendship because it's an easy example. If you value connection or levity. And that friend always opens your calls with complaining or seriousness, or even that they're kind of aloof, something's missing, your values are not present in that friendship. And if it's hard for you to do with friendship, sometimes it's easier to do [00:10:00] with relationships and love.

Lucy: So you can do that too. And think about the values that came from those great moments. And then think about those moments when you were being dragged down. And usually you can find a thread. And in that you can find a thread where you think, Oh. Okay, that's why I was getting lit up there, and that's why I completely wanted to flee the country after that phone call, you know?

Lucy: And then you can start to think, how do I have more of those great moments that fill my cup, that amplify me, that light me up? maybe you'll still have terrible moments because we're human and it happens, but how can I at least recognize when I'm not operating at my best, and because it's something that's really important to me is not present?

Lucy: Another thing you can think about in the not so great zone is a season where you were working ridiculous hours doing grunt work on top of grunt work with little payoff. If we take my values, for example, I love my efficiency. So clearly efficiency was not present because I was doing the work of 10, 000 men at the speed of [00:11:00] 50 eons.

Lucy: As you can see, when things are not going well, it's because something is missing and it's almost always a value. Here's kind of the action steps I have for you to take today. And in the few days that follow, I want you to just notice. When things happen in your life and label them as good or bad,we could say like all moments are neutral and the butterfly effect and everything leads to everything and everything happens for a reason, but that's not the conversation we're having right now.

Lucy: We are gonna label them as good or bad. And then I want you to stop and ask yourself, okay, what does this mean? What's being nurtured? What's being pulled? What's being nurtured? This is your value. What's being pulled? This is your value. And then I want you to think in those moments that are bad, what's not present?

Lucy: What's missing? And then when something comes through, write it down. where you are in this conversation, I'd be curious to see our words coming through for you that you're thinking, okay, these are my values or are you completely lost? It's completely fine. No [00:12:00] matter where you are, we're in this together, but as much as you can, when a word comes through or a situation comes through, you start to find that pattern, write it down because your values are going to be your lighthouse.

Lucy: This is a little bit of a two part episode, so you get a benefit. we're going to move into the decision making section. As a reminder, my values are connection, levity, creativity, and efficiency. anytime I am faced with a decision, I return to those. And that is my dream for you today. When you are faced with a decision in your business, Or in your life, but we're a business podcast.

Lucy: I want you to return to these values that you're creating today and ask yourself, is this path that I'm about to take aligned with my values, but more importantly, is the future of this path aligned with my values? Guys, if you were getting into a startup, that is a five to seven to 10 year venture.

Lucy: So yeah, maybe year one looks great on paper, but if you're But year five, year seven, year 10, year 15, [00:13:00] if you decide to stay in it,for all of us commitment phobes, I know that's not ideal, but we have to ask ourselves about the future of a decision and make sure that's still going to be aligned.

Lucy: And we're not perfect. we're going to make decisions that seem like a good idea now. And then in a few years, we're like, why did that happen? so I encourage you to be easy on yourself there. So let's take a question. Should I start this new brand under my business? Let's assume you're excited by the idea.

Lucy: You have the data to show that this is a good use of energy. And if you return to your value, and one of your values is creativity, and you want to experiment, then this is probably a great idea for you. But let's say your values are more around stability or growth. Maybe you'd be better off turning to a brand that's already existing and doing quite well and then pouring into that one.

Lucy: So same goes for, should I do this workout program? If the business example is a little too intense for you today, I would ask yourself, well, does it align with your values? [00:14:00] My value? Efficiency. I would never do an hour and a half a day workout program. I would literally be setting myself up for failure.

Lucy: Another question. Should I share this in my founder bio? I would ask you. Is it aligned with who you are and who you want to be as a founder? It's so easy to just add things because they sound good on paper or they make you sound like the expert and you show up, if it's not who you want to be or who you're becoming, then it's not aligned.

Lucy: Another question. Should I collaborate with this person? The first thing I'm going to ask you is do their values align with yours? It doesn't have to be perfect. values can be complimentary, but imagine me collaborating with someone who has no sense of humor. They are detached and they believe in doing things right.

Lucy: Even if it takes twice as long, like there's going to be so much friction and resentment and just potential for terrible feelings. if you can get clear on who you are and what's important to you, and then you're able to look for those things and other people and other [00:15:00] opportunities and other paths and other decisions.

Lucy: You're bringing an intentionality to the table that's allowing you to expand and go so much further. As we wrap up this conversation, My biggest thing for you is that I encourage you to make tiny decisions today based on your values. Just get comfortable with this, almost like a muscle.you're not going to be able to bicep curl 15 pounds on the first time.

Lucy: I realized I picked an incredibly low number. I have no upper body strength. but you know, just let yourself be intentional about, okay, should I take the bus to the Metro? Well, what are my values? And then make that decision based on that. Do you value efficiency? Do you value being able to chat with people on the Metro?

Lucy: I don't know what kind of Metro's you were taking because DC Metro, you don't chat with people. Don't make it such a big thing. Allow it to feel little. Some things you could do are, investing in ClickUp for your team because you realized, Oh, today I value structure or getting rid of a marketing platform that's underperforming because you value simplicity or even buying a [00:16:00] small pair of earrings because you value having pretty things in your life.

Lucy: It could be something a little bit bigger, like carving out some time to have a long conversation with your dad because you value family or making it a habit to call your parents every single week because you value family and not just like a quick little check in. I'm talking, two hours, getting into the meeting, asking them about their childhood kind of combos.

Lucy: What I really want for you is to just move towards your values and make those decisions from a value standpoint. It's really easy to look at this from the lens of, well, this is what I don't want. And then trying to just dodge everything that comes into your world. And honestly, to me, that sounds so anxiety provoking.

Lucy: Maybe it works for you, but I like to think about it from a lens of positivity. If you are a moth and things that exemplify your values are the light, how can we move towards that? How can you move towards those marketing decisions that bring you closer to what you want? Those co-founder decisions, those business decisions, not, Oh my gosh, that's [00:17:00] coming my way and I don't know if it aligns with my values and maybe I shouldn't open that door because what's going to happen to me because that's so stressful.

Lucy: So go towards what is going to help you blossom. Get really clear on where your good lives are and. Treat this as something exciting and expansive and fun and not some annoying homework because I know you already have enough on your plate. okay. I'm here for you. I'm rooting for you. Go forward. If this episode resonated, please share it with a friend.

Lucy: DM me on Instagram @lucy.bedewi or leave a review. It is all so, so helpful for helping the pod grow, especially because this is literally the first episode I've ever recorded with a real microphone and I had to rerecord it like eight times because every time I clicked record. Dog started barking, church bells started going, and I started speaking some weird mix of not English.

Lucy: I know, starting something fresh takes some time to get used to it, but being a beginner has been a fun, but terrifying experience. Let me know if you relate to doing [00:18:00] something that is a little bit scary. This is my new undertaking, so please let me know. And go forth, find your lighthouse, make decisions with conviction.

Lucy: I don't care how indecisive you are right now. I really don't want you to keep wearing that as a badge of honor because you have everything in yourself to make really good decisions that work for you and you are going to be so much happier and more successful when you choose that you have the power to put yourself on the right path.

Lucy: You got this and I will see you on the next episode.