Peach Podcast
Two guys and an occasional guest breaking open topics on: Purpose, Energy, Attitude, Commitment and Health through shared experiences.
Peach Podcast
S5EP01: A Year Off Social Media, Goals, And The Power Of Healthy Fear
Fear doesn’t whisper; it shouts. We open with the snap back from Maui warmth to winter training and a cross-Atlantic work trip, then step straight into a raw conversation about using fear as fuel. One of us shares a full year off social media and the surprising lesson that almost no one notices when you step away—freeing you from comparison and pulling you back to faith, clarity, and purposeful posting. From there, we put big stakes in the ground: a 100-mile race and the Sedona 125 with serious elevation and heat. The gap from a past 50-miler to those distances is real, and saying “I am scared” out loud becomes the first move toward an honest plan.
We unpack fear as a tool, not a verdict. Healthy fear gets you out the door at 4:45 a.m.; unhealthy fear freezes you at mile zero imagining mile 90. The fix is process over outcomes: win January with 30–35 weekly miles, strength twice, cross-train, dial nutrition, and rest on purpose. Stories from the Death Ride climb bring it to life—where a cup of noodles, a lawn chair, and too much talk can end your day. Movement changes mindset; descend first, decide later. We share a simple four-step framework to navigate fear fast: Pause to stop the spin, test your Perception, return to Presence, and reconnect to Purpose. With practice, that cycle turns panic into progress.
We close by reframing goals through Tony Robbins’ lens: we’re not built to achieve, we’re built to grow. Growth makes us happier, more generous, and more resilient—in sport, work, and relationships. If you already fell off your resolution, start again today. Do it scared. Stack one small win. And if this conversation helps you find your footing, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a quick review so more people can use fear as a tool for growth.
Hey, hey, hey, welcome to the Peach Podcast. Just a couple of dudes and an occasional guest with breaking open topics from everyday life on purpose energy, attitude, commitment, and health. So if you're ready, listen in as we get to learn from our losses and games from our gratitude. We are no longer in the warm sand and warm air and warm ocean of Maui. But man, that was an amazing trip. But I am glad to be back home. It is a lot colder. I'm out there training and doing my thing anyways. Um, but you just gotta the all the extra layers you gotta put on, Daryl. Come on. Now you came back uh uh a day later after the me, but I think you had to jump on a plane and fly to some snow across the pond. Is that correct?
SPEAKER_01:I did, I did. Uh it was wonderful. Uh and I know that uh Josephine, I think, posted, and I think you sent a nice text to the group. Um, and I think both you and her both said the same thing. A lot of grateful and kind of our hearts full. We had a wonderful finish of the year. We just being around family, friends, warmth. I mean, what else you want? Beauty? I mean, what else do you want? Right. So, and uh beautiful flight back and you land and it's reality. Our reality is pretty good though, Doug. I mean, we're very, very blessed on what we do. I had about a day and a half, and then I had to um head over. Uh I was in the UK this week, uh, just got back yesterday, uh, for some good work things. We kind of hit the ground running with some work things and uh jumped into uh uh over there. It's in Celsius, minus two to minus five, which for all of us is about 25 to 32 degrees. And uh a little snow, uh a little British uh cold, but had a wonderful time over there. It's uh it was beautiful. I got a few runs in. I saw that.
SPEAKER_00:You got some runs in in the snow. Good job.
SPEAKER_01:I got some runs in in the snow. I tell you what, every footstep was very deliberate. I was like, I did not want to be fallen. So no, no, but it's uh but it's good. So it's good. So yeah, and um, hey Doug, I just gotta tell you um, you know, one thing, uh, and I know we mentioned it in some of our conversations. A year ago, uh in December, you mentioned, hey, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I don't know if you told me you're gonna cut back or you were going to eliminate uh social media um, you know, for a while. Honestly, Doug, I was like, yeah, good idea. I've seen a lot of people out there take breaks, everything else. I can't tell you. Um, we do hard things sometimes and discipline, and you did it unbelievable. You literally took a year off of social media. Old turkey, full stop, 100%. Um, I just want to tell you, I think that is one of uh the more impressive things. And um, I know it was probably very healthy for you and everything else there. Every once in a while in group text, we would send something, and I would send an Instagram or a Facebook thing, and Doug would say, Hey, that's really great. I don't do social media. Right. And I just want to let you know, congratulations. Also, just give me uh give me your one minute. What did you learn from that?
SPEAKER_00:Wow, I learned that nobody is really thinking about you. You know, that's one of the and that's a lesson I needed, Daryl, because social media, whether you want to admit it or not, it pulls you into comparative reality, man. We're looking at what other people are doing and why aren't I doing that, or how they look and how, you know, or how fast they're running and or how many miles they're running or riding, and at least for me, if I if I'm being transparent, I don't want to impose my thoughts and and my ideas on other people, but I needed to separate myself, to have just uh some quiet time, some alone time. It was a spiritual experience for me too. I wanted to just really heavily rely on God. I was if I am being transparent, I was, you know, going down some rabbit holes that I should not be going down. And uh, you know, but I am of the flesh and I get tempted just like any other human being. And I saw that, and that was another big uh reason of just saying, okay, I'm just gonna do a detox, a cleanse, and stay off of social media. And I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad I did. But I'll tell you, you know, this episode we're gonna have here, Daryl, is is uh you and I had talked about and agreed that let's do an episode on fear. And I'll tell you, when I made that decision, I was it actually brought fear. Like, oh my gosh, am I not am I gonna lose connection with people? Is anyone gonna know? And I had thought about how do I do this? Do I do a video and explain to people, hey, I'm taking a year off, or do I just go cold turkey and go off? And I decided to go with the latter part and say, you know what, I'm just gonna turn it off and see if anybody notices. That's part of the experiment. And you know, not a lot of people, not a lot of, you know, I have over 5,000 friends on on Facebook and and I don't know how many on Instagram and plus the five followers. And you know, Daryl, I could count off probably on one or maybe two hands, how many people reached out and said, Hey, where are you? What are you doing? What's going on? And yeah, that that was the big light bulb moments, like, man, nobody, and again, when I say this, I don't mean it in a mean way, but nobody really cares, Daryl. Like, they don't got time if people are living their lives, and again, I don't say nobody cares like they don't care about me or anything like that. I'm not being a victim or anything like that. I'm just saying people are busy. So when if you're on social media and you're watching stuff, or or you, or you do a rant on social media, you you'll you'll get as much, you'll get some energy back when the rant is happening. But after that, I promise you, nobody's gonna wake up tomorrow and think about what you said. They're gonna go on with their day and and live their lives. And is that a good thing, a bad thing? No, it's just a thing. And and I'm just glad for the experiment. I'm back on social media. I'm cautiously re-entering the social media zone. I really want to be someone who just puts out adds value, uh, love, uh, some spirituality, and just uh, you know, purposeful things, purposeful things. So, but thank you for the acknowledgement and the the attaboys. I appreciate that, brother. I appreciate the love and you know, ready to get back, get ready to get back to it. But speaking of fear, you're really good at at the end of the year, you always before the year ends, you have a lineup for the following year. And and although we have known for some time, I think the reality of it is getting closer. And it and now you really know that you know you've got a you've got a couple big events coming up, like a hundred miles, or you're gonna attempt a hundred miles, I believe, at the Silver Moon. And then you're also got 125 miles in Arizona, Sedona, the Sedona 125, and that's the the difference between Silver Moon and Sedona is the Sedona is going to be lots of elevation. You know, it's gonna be uh probably a lot warmer. Uh Silver Moon is more like a backyard uh setup where you can you can take breaks and do all that stuff, and so and there's a lot of support at the Silver Moon because it's it's a loop where Sedona, it's is that just is that a one-way out? There's no return, right?
SPEAKER_01:Just you start one place, you end the other, and you hope you get there.
SPEAKER_00:So and you guys, and you guys and you and Eric might may end up sleeping on the trail from time to time here and there. And so tell me, Darryl, do you when when talking to you last time, it you know, it sensed a little bit of uh, I don't know if we could call it fear or anxiety or what, but what do you know? Let's just just be real, man. What what is on your heart with all that stuff going on?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I think uh as we uh we had a wonderful, uh we talked about it on the the last episode. We had a wonderful, uh long and slow bike ride up the up the volcano, and we got to chat about some things and uh it was it was great, and we had some really really good perspectives of this year going into next. And uh, I think I'm in really Eric and I are in a good space, but we uh we got to get after it, right? And everything else. So as I'm I'm flying over to the England and uh the UK on a long flight uh uh to Heathrow, as I'm kind of putting down kind of my more detailed training plans, it kind of hit me. And some of my workouts over the last couple weeks have been super intentional. And they're not like the fun workouts, they're a little bit more of the I'm like very, I'm kind of hard on myself. I'm like, hey, we're gonna go do this, we're gonna be very deliberate, we're gonna do this, we're gonna execute this. And um, at the end of the day, I think fear is kind of driving me. And I just kind of um I think I'm gonna, you know, we talked about it. I'm gonna, we're gonna define it. I'm gonna talk about kind of what it means to me. And there's kind of two aspects of fear. So let me go ahead and read the definition, Doug, and then we'll kick off the uh episode and the the topic. I like that. I like that. So um let me just read it real quick and then we'll go back and break it down. Um, fear is neither inherently good nor bad, it is complex, essential emotion with both protective, good, and debilitating bad functions, acting as a vital survival to um tool to signal danger, but becoming harmful when it's excessive, irrational, lycophobia, or paralyzes actions leading to chronic stress or missed missed opportunities. This is the big sentence that we'll talk about. The key is understanding the difference between healthy, motivating fear and unhealthy, overwhelming fear and learning to manage it. Let me read that one more time. Yeah, I love that. The key is understanding the differences between healthy, motivating fear and unhealthy, overwhelming fear and learning how to manage it. So the thing I text you when I was over there is just kind of letting you know kind of where I'm at mentally is you know, is fear good or bad? You know, I think the the the sentence there, so how have have you hit that if you if you think about that definition and that last thing, what hits you, Doug?
SPEAKER_00:Um the first thing that hits me, or wisdom tells me, that uh the first thing I need to do is remove the label of fear being good or bad. Remove the good or bad label that fear is, and I think that it even said in the definition, it's a tool. It's a tool, and we get to choose what that tool is. And so that's the first thing that hit me when you read that definition. What struck you when you read that?
SPEAKER_01:I think for me, we've read a lot of books recently over the last year or two, and in our human nature, the fear and that kind of fight or flight is a big part of our DNA, Doug. We talked about it, we've read all these different things. Like it is literally is a survival tool.
SPEAKER_00:Right.
SPEAKER_01:I know for me, in many situations, um, fear is actually a good thing. Um, you know, fear when I was growing up, I think made me be a bit more of an uh overachiever. I was never the strongest, fastest, everything else there. So a lot of fear and I'm probably maybe a little um kind of insecurities made me work harder, right? So for me, the the reality is I think that's a big part of who I am. Overall, I think I work harder, I try to focus, I try to get a little bit um sometimes a little maybe obsessive, which isn't really great. That can uh add some different problems in your life there. But fear has always been a big part of me. So for me, I see it as something that um actually kind of drives me. On the other hand, I know situations in my life and I see it a lot of places where people get nervous and they just stop. And you you physically see them kind of just be debilitated. And I don't think this is necessarily just a physical thing, dog, like like like in sports events or other things, but we probably know in life too. So for me, I just have to kind of embrace the fear, and then really it's how do I handle it? We'll talk about there. But I also know that it could be very debilitating.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, no, I agree 100%. It is, and and you had said, you know, it's not necessarily physical. I think the physical part of it is is just the manifestation of the mental and emotional part of it, you know, because we immediately start thinking and then overthinking, like what if I don't, or what if I I love how you have recognized it can be a motivator to help you do you know hard things. And I've seen you get prepared for things out of fear, and you just go to a whole nother level, and that's when it may I remember the last time we did death. I don't know if it was last time or time before that, maybe it was last time we did Death Ride. I mean, you went out there and crushed it. Yeah, I it was just a whole different level of Daryl out there, and we all of us, the whole team was like, Holy smokes, what is this guy doing? What's he on? But uh, you know, and I know that you had I think that was more than just fear, but there was probably a healthy balance of fear of you just you know wanting to get some PRs and and just wanting to do your best, and you you you prepared well. But I've seen you prepare out of fear before, and uh, like you said, it's really cool that you can acknowledge how it uh how you can use it or otherwise it will start using you. So I think that's a great grasp you have on it. It's yeah, I think all elite athletes. I remember reading uh a thing about Michael Jordan, you know. People look at it, he's the all-time greatest, right? In in most people's opinions, uh worldly, globally. Michael Jordan is the man, you know. But and a lot of people have heard that, you know, he missed way more shots than he made. And he had to overcome and create a mindset through that fear. Like, can you imagine if you you had that statistic that you missed more shots than you made, that could paralyze and freeze you. That could put you in a state of fear. And yet, somehow, somehow, him, uh, Tiger Woods, all other, you know, uh what's his name? Tom, uh Tom Brady, all those people, you know, the elites of the elites, they still take the action. They're not connected to the outcome, they are just trusting that process and letting the numbers take care of themselves. And I I just think that's uh I I think too many people, including myself and probably yourself, we don't, you know, we see these great people doing awesome things and we start comparing, like, oh, how can I do that? How can I do that? But people who leave legacies, people who are doing incredible stuff, they have failed far more times before they actually have that success. And so, you know, that failure is the fuel. That failure is the fuel to find your success. It moves you through the fear. But those those are some things that I'm just thinking of as you're talking, Daryl, and about, you know, because you've got some big things coming up. Are you are you fearful with the Sedona thing or what's going on?
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I'll um I'll break it down a little bit. Um, you know, I I think uh your Michael Jordan thing, I saw something on social media, if we're talking about social media and it uh yesterday, and it talked about legends, and it says legends are scared too.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but they do it anyway, and they try and they don't give up.
SPEAKER_00:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Um, and so kind of where I'm at, and uh let me just be very, very transparent. I am not the best runner. Okay. I did not grow up, I do not have a running background. Um, I've really, really enjoyed your big inspiration of kind of doing running things, so trail running and the whole ultra thing is really cool. It's a good combination of kind of running, hiking, kind of long, long uh endurance events. And it's really cool. And you you've been you've been part of it too. It's a really cool community. So we've signed up. So, you know, last year Eric and I did a 50 miler, and uh that was probably one of the most epic things I've ever done. Um 50 miles, it was 16 hours, it was testing us beyond belief, everything else. This year we're doing a hundred miles and 125. Right. So, Doug, just if I take like if I take a little reality check, the hardest thing I've done, I've got to do it two to two and a half times more. Right.
SPEAKER_00:Right. I mean, can you imagine after your 50 miler? If you would have said, could I run 50 more now? Take yourself back to that 50 mile run you did.
SPEAKER_01:Well, I did, Doug, because when we got in on the 50 miles and we crossed that finish line, got our medals. People were going out for another loop to go do the 100 miles, and we looked at them like they were crazy. And Eric and I looked at he says, We're gonna be doing that next year, right? So I think that there's some healthy tension there. Yes, there's some healthy fear, but also you have to kind of you really need to break it down. And you are the the epitome of this, Doug, of the outcomes. And I read the quote from uh Nick Sabin this week. It really just hit me, and it's pretty much what you've said along uh there. It's just outcomes are a distraction. Focusing on the process of what have what you have to do to get the outcome is the most important thing you do. The most important thing for me, Doug, right now, because I have a training plan of how I'm gonna get to April, how I'm gonna get to May, is my most important thing is what I'm doing for January. Right. You know, I need to be running 30 to 35 miles per week. Um, I need to be, you know, having my nutrition pretty dialed in and I've got some things. I've got a strength training program and I got to hit legs a couple of times a week. I want to incorporate biking once or twice a week. So I want to do some cross-training. For me, Doug, honestly, if I focus on that hundred, the 125 mile, I'm gonna be sitting crawled up like a baby in my bed crying, right? Um, but if I focus on what I need to do for January, which is very clear of what I need to do and what I need to do on Sunday tomorrow, right, and what I need to do on Monday and have a rest day on Tuesday, then you can start stacking those things. And so, you know, I know that the hundred mile and the hundred and twenty-five are out there, but right now my focus is just on January, and that helps me be more calm. Am I still fearful? Yes, yeah, but at least I can chunk it and say if I want to have a good January. So that's how I'm approaching it. But um, yeah, there's a there's a lot of fear.
SPEAKER_00:I love that, Daryl. You know what? I I want to give you some kudos because I uh we had a text thread going, or you and I had a text message uh chat just a couple days ago. You were flying back from the UK, and uh you just flat out said your your words. I'm let me pull up the text. You said I am scared. You had shen you had texted me your list of things you were doing, and then the next text you said, I am scared exclamation point. Truly am, period. And for you to eat for anybody just to uh put that out no fluff, no anything, just the the true honest words. I I think that's really uh bold, brave, and and it's necessary so that you can deal with the honesty of what you're feeling. And I love how you've taken that and said, Okay, now I'm gonna move into a plan. And and I and I think I texted you back, let me see what I said. I said, Oh, I think oh, I said, Yes, here it is. I said, I think that's what's beautiful about the whole thing for you. Doing it scared. It's not about the outcome, it's just about trying, it's about learning, it's about living, it's about using our experiences to find out what we have and what we need to work on or want to work on. It's all about progress and process. And so, Daryl, just big kudos to you for uh ex admitting to your fellow brother, fellow Peach brother, and and to whoever else that. You're scared. There's nothing wrong with being scared. There's nothing wrong with having fear. Those are natural things. If they freeze you and paralyze you, then there's an issue. There's an issue. But from what you just said, the strategy you chose, oh my gosh. You reverse engineered that bad boy. You said all you have to worry about is January. But what I really heard, Daryl, is all you have to worry about is running how many miles you said a week? 30? 35. 35 miles. That's really what you chunked it down to. You know, like you just, and then even 125 miles in a day, you need to run 35 miles in one week. And with your background, that's that's a no-brainer. That's just get out it, put your shoes on, and go do it.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And by the way, guess what? That goes up in February, that goes up in March, that goes up in April. But all I need to worry about is I'm in January, right?
SPEAKER_00:Right, right.
SPEAKER_01:Right now it's a 35-mile week. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Hey, but Doug, we uh chatted before and we've had this conversation. How many times have we been out doing something? And sometimes we get a little nervous, we get a little tired, we get a little this, and we're like that fear hits us and we want to take the early way out, right? Um we want to quit. I mean, that's a that's a reality check. So we talked before, and I was gonna mention it, but Death Ride is such a for me an iconic event because it really does really test you both physically and mentally. And you get to the point, you get to Ebbett's, and it's somewhere in the neighborhood of I think about 60 to 65 percent done, but you still got that last 30 to that 40 to 35 percent. And so, so you're feeling good, but you know in the back of your minds, and they've got an amazing rest stop in this iconic place. And Doug and I have talked about it, but go ahead and walk us through so many people are questioning do I go on or do I quit?
SPEAKER_00:Right, but yeah. I don't even think in their questioning, Daryl. I think they're like, I'm done, this is nice. Next year I'll come back. You know, it's like they've already decided where they want to go, and and uh it's amazing to sit and listen with them. So just to get people kind of give some background, by the time you get to the top of Ebbettz, you have climbed, I believe, 9,000 feet for the day. And that that's that's you know what? That's a great climb. If you want to call it a day, that's an epic amount of uh elevation you put in, man. Give yourself a pat on the back and go. But if you showed up to do death ride, then you've got, man, just go. You just have to go. But you're Daryl, I believe, and again, you and I can sit here, we've done Death Ride, we've completed a few times, and we can sit here like we know what we're talking about, and or we don't have any doubt or any fear. But Daryl, just last year, just last year, I'm sitting at the top of Ebbitz, and I am telling myself, you know, I've done this two times before. Why do I gotta do it a third time? And that we had a couple people who went back early and called it quits earlier, and I'm like, you know, I can go hang out with them, maybe go have a beer or kick it. And I came up with about at least seven, eight, nine, ten good reasons why I could have stopped at the top of Evetts, go back down and and called it a day. And I would have been fine with that. I would have been fine. But you know what happened last year to me was I was sitting in a in a lawn chair having some cup of noodles, and a couple these two guys came up and they were they were done. Like they were like, Oh, how do how much further is it? What's it like on the other side? I don't know, maybe next year we come back. And I said, first thing you gotta do is go grab a cup of noodles. Oh, okay. Both of you go get the cup of noodles and come back and let's chat. And then so they came back and had the cup of noodles, and uh all of a sudden, my you know, my natural instinct to just be an encourager, I said, as soon as you finish this cup of noodles, you gotta stop talking, you gotta jump on your bike and go down the backside of Ebbitz. You know, just go down the backside and don't worry about coming back, just keep going. Because that because if you sit up here, you are gonna talk yourself out of this whole thing. But if you just go down the backside, it's about five miles downhill, it's a downhill ride to get you out of here. No big deal. And if you want to turn around then, then turn around then. But at least um, you will have created some movement to change your mindset. You know, we all talk about movement is medicine, it is medicine, but I believe movement also changes your mindset. Because if you're sitting there cozy in a chair, of course you don't want to keep going. I don't want to keep going, you know. But I'm I was so grateful that I had a couple people show up, and that was just one conversation. I had multiple conversations because I was sitting up there still trying to talk myself out of going all the way. So I, you know, I got to have at least, I think I talked to about six people before I said, you know what? I need to take my own advice and get on my bike bike and go. But what about you, Darryl, at the top of that? But you seem so strong when you get up there and you just just roll, you're like, Come on, guys, let's go.
SPEAKER_01:Um, I tell you what, I think you and I need to be the I think I need the fact I'm gonna look online after the podcast. I want to be the new marketing director for cup of noodles, right? Literally, yeah, we need to get paid for this stuff. Literally, you get up there and you grab that cup of noodles, which I've had three in the last three years, only at death ride. That's the only time I've ever had them, other than maybe 20 years ago. And something that is like literally it like it energizes you, but uh it's a it's a big deal. I've heard so many people talk about it because the next climb is called Pacific Great. And I hear people talking, I hear Pacific Great is hard. I've literally been riding with somebody, Doug, going up to Pacific Great, and they said, hell no, and they turned around. Right. You know, and like you're at like 80% done and you're turning around, right? The mind is a very, very difficult thing. And um, I think overall, I think you you hit it there. Just stop thinking, just go forward. You know, what did what we just talked about? The the people that are legendary, they try, they don't give up, right? Right. And hey, you know what? You might go up Pacific grade and you might crash and burn. Right. That's different than turning around and saying, I'm not gonna try it. Right. Right. Um, there so the outcomes aren't a given, Doug. I mean, I think that's the whole concept, right? The outcomes are not a given. We've always said that. Every time we go to on an event, we don't we literally say, you know, we say our prayer ahead of time. Right. And you know what? Who knows? Yeah, I I just I think overall, um, healthy fear, healthy tension. I want to win January. Um, I gotta win February, I gotta, I gotta win multiple months to get there. Um, but the end of the day, um, you know, when I look back on it, I probably will look back after some of these events and hopefully they go well and we'll see what they end up being. But generally, when you look back on them, you do think a lot about more the process and the training rather than just that final event. That final event when you cross the finish line is a couple minutes of your life, right? Right. Um, but it's really about the process. So um, I'm gonna use that healthy fear. I had to, I had to, I had to acknowledge it. I had to say it. I had to say I was scared and I meant it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um and uh trust me, when um it was uh 445 in the morning in winter, and I put on my shoes and I went and ran in the snow. That was a lot of fear and saying, I gotta get my I gotta get my button here. So I I'm gonna I'm gonna use that fear. Uh hopefully it uh it'll it'll keep me going through the next five to six months. Right, right.
SPEAKER_00:And there, you know, like you said, you you you were explaining earlier in the podcast that your fear was a motivator. Like, you know, you it made you move, it made you go, it made you do things. And though that's something that that's great when you can identify that and use fear, because like I said, and like it said in the definition, fear is a tool, period. Yep, it's it's not a good thing, it's not a bad thing. If it becomes good or bad, it's what you have chosen to do with it, right? If it freezes you from moving forward, then you know you didn't use the the tool properly, you know. But if it fuels you to move forward, then man, then you that's how the tool is designed. Again, if you're standing on a cliff thousand feet down, you should have a that's called the quote unquote healthy fear, right? Like, don't step off because you're gonna die. But we're talking about more uh of just like as men, Daryl, sometimes men have a huge fear of asking other men for help, you know, or like yourself when you said I'm scared. Most men don't say that to other men, you know. So that's a that's a healthy fear. That's a great that's you use the tool properly. And so uh fear can come in your job, it can come in your marriage, it can come dealing with your kids, it can come, you know, doing a sports activity. You know, what does it do to you? How are you how are you using that tool? Because really, fear is really just a signal. It's a signal, it's it's a it's a vapor that just signals. And what are you gonna do with what's that information doing? I I created a uh a four-step, well, I don't know if I created it, but because I've read a lot of books on fear and uh and how to get through it, and I don't know where I got this, so that's why I say I created it. So I'm gonna just own it, Daryl. I created a four-step process for dealing with fear, uh, and it's the four P's it's pause, perception, uh, presence, and purpose. And then I always tell clients, you know, that uh when you can get used to the fact that your pain is the path to peace, if you really want to have peace, uh-huh, then you have to acknowledge and embrace that well, pain is gonna lead you to that, man, because that's the conflict that you're avoiding, the hard things you're avoiding, uh-huh, that's that's where your peace is at, man. And the avoidance is what gives you unpeace, if that if that's a word. I don't know what the opposite of peace is. But so pause. What does pause mean? Pause means if you are stuck feeling frozen, if you're feeling stuck, if you're feeling uncertain, not good enough, whatever it is that's keeping you from moving forward, just pause. All you gotta do is stop. Stop thinking, stop moving for a second. And then the next P is perception. What is your perception in that moment? Is what you're thinking or what you're feeling, is it true? You gotta ask, right? Most of the time, our fear is like, oh my gosh, you know, for like in your case, the 125-mile run, right? If you focus on mile 90 and you haven't even started yet, like of course you're gonna be frozen. You haven't even you how do you know if you can do 90 miles? You haven't done, you haven't tried as to your point. You know, just try. So, what's your perception? What's the the the truth going on in that moment? Uh-huh. Right. So pause, what's your perception? What's real, what's the reality? And you may not have the answers in that moment, like if you can run a certain amount of miles or whatever, but the reality is you haven't tried either, so you don't know. You don't know whether you can do it or not. The next one is presence, pause perception, presence. When you become present, when you when you're talking about just in the moment of the truth again, then you can start dealing with your reality. You can start eliminating the fear, you can start just letting letting it subside and just move away and and find that peace again. And then connect to your purpose, right? Like, why are you doing this? Why does it matter to you? What does it mean if you at least try? You know, so the pause, perception, presence, and purpose, it takes you on this path where you understand that your pain is the path to peace. And again, just practice, practice, practice. Practice that mindset, practice those four steps. And it becomes in the in the beginning, it's slow, it's arduous. You know, you got to like, what were the four P's again? And you're thinking whatever. But if you continue to practice, what takes you five or six minutes to process is going to take you five or six nanoseconds. It just becomes automatic behavior, you know, to pause, what's your perception, be present, and then connect with your purpose and move forward. You never, Daryl, you never lose, you know, and I think too many people are afraid of losing or looking bad or whatever, but you you never lose, you just learn, you know. And I think if people can wrap their their minds around that phrase that you just you don't lose for trying, even if your goal was to do 125 and you didn't do it, you didn't lose. You just learned. You just learned, you know. So though those are some tidbits I wanted to share on this podcast, especially. And there's there's a little bit more from Tony Robbins that I heard recently on a podcast on a different podcast, but where are you with what I just said and where you're at? What what else is on your mind here?
SPEAKER_01:I'll tell you what. Um, man, I'll tell you what, you don't lose, you learn, man. I'll tell you what. Um, just to be clear, Doug, we're running these ultra marathon events and all these others. Nobody's winning. You know what I mean? I mean, literally, there's no winners, right? Right. Like, yeah, there's the people they call them the top 10 and everything else. There, the reality is it's the rest of the pact, and it's funny in the ultra things, the rest of the pact is like 90% of everybody else, right? Trust me, I ain't standing on no podium, you know what I mean? You know, and everything else. I love that. Just, you know, you're not losing your learning. And uh, most of the things we do and we talk about and we do in our life is really about learning, just making ourselves a better person. Um, and unless you can, like you said, Doug, take a step back and listen and learn and take that into whatever the next thing you do in your life, if it's physical, if it's emotional, if it's spiritual, whatever it is, it's good. So I just want to thank you um for uh letting me get out my fear, um, everything else I feel about there. I still have one more thing that's probably uh fear that will never leave me. You know what that is. That's uh that's my wife, Josephine. Um she uh she keeps me on a very short leash and uh is uh is a blessing to me and my uh my family, but also uh healthy tension, uh, which is awesome. So yeah. Um so anyway, so good, good, good uh way to kick off 2026. Um a big shout out to you. Congratulations for uh finishing 2025. Uh also Doug, I see a little uh extra oomph from you. You're wearing that t-shirt and those biceps are are kind of like like falling out of your thing. So um I'm gonna have to work on my my um I'm definitely flexing on the on the on the zoom call. I'm gonna have to work on my my I've been working on my abs and my core for the the things. I gotta work on, I'm not sure how much biceps are gonna help me run under the city.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, you don't don't focus on the biceps there. I said I see we have different we have different goals. I have vanity goals and you have 125 mile goals.
SPEAKER_01:Okay, I just want to let you know to the whole peach podcast, Doug wins the bicep game for 2026. It might be a discussion for 2027, but for 2026, Doug wins. I think the reality is for the rest of my life, Doug is always gonna win the bicep game.
SPEAKER_00:So that's I don't know. I see Eric and Dave out there, you know, hitting the gym and doing their thing. So I think I think they're on uh on a mission to get up, and you're in the gym a lot, so but you're focused in you're focused in other areas. You know, speaking of 2026, before we close this podcast up, uh I wanted to share what I heard from Tony Robbins and and give him 100% credit. Because in this episode, right, where a lot of people who are gonna listen are probably have set some goals, and hopefully, you know, what was January 9th? Is that uh National Quitters Day, right?
SPEAKER_01:This this it is, it is last Friday. Yeah, it was yesterday.
SPEAKER_00:If you're somebody that you you gave up by by the ninth, get back to it, right? In the beginning of the podcast, it says, you know, just start. So even if you started and you went off again, start again, just start again, man. You get you get another chance. But here's the thing about goals that I heard in the podcast, and it man, it lit me up. The light bulb went off. I'm I've heard it from Tony Robbins multiple times. Um, but as he gets older, he just seems to just uh convey it a little more wiser. And he says this about goals. He I who was he talking to? I forget another big podcast name. I forget, but he's in an interview and he says, We are not made to achieve goals, we were made to grow. We're made to grow, to become more, because when we grow, when we make progress, we have something to give, we have more to give. When people uh really grow, they're happy and they want to share because they have something worth sharing. So I just wanted to just drop that. That's from Tony Robbins. I wanted to drop that out here as people are setting up goals. Goals aren't a bad thing, all right? Goals aren't it's just like fear, they're not a good thing or a bad thing, they're just a tool to use. The whole purpose of of all those things is that you can find out a little bit about yourself, you can make a little progress in an area, you can push your limits a little more to see how much you can go and how much tension you can take. And and and let's say you find out I can't take a lot of tension. Well, now you have a starting point. Now you have a starting point. Do you want to get better at receiving tension and dealing with tension and facing tension and conflicts and all that stuff? Because there are strategies to deal with all that, and there's people out here. One I'm I'm one of them. I love working with people to help break through some of those mental and emotional barriers because I believe that we're all created to be awesome. You know, God does not create junk, God does not create mediocre stuff, you know. And and those of you who know me, I'm a man of faith. And so I believe, man, just like he created this beautiful world and the big redwood trees and the mighty ocean and all the billing of stars, he created you and me, all of us. And so let's tap into that inner beauty, that inner strength, that inner warrior, and let's rise and shine. Let's rise and shine. Any last words, Daryl, for this episode on fear?
SPEAKER_01:No, I'm very pumped up and uh only have one thing to say. Uh, go Niners.
SPEAKER_00:Yes, tomorrow. We're recording this on a Saturday evening. The Niners are playing, the Rams won tonight. Congratulations, Rams. If I'm being honest, you know, I kind of wanted it to go the other way, but that's okay. But I'm I'm gonna give kudos where kudos are due. But I'll tell you what, Carolina, they played a heck of a game. They came back strong. I'm proud of them. But their season is over now and the Rams move forward. Tomorrow, the Niners take on the Eagles in Philadelphia. It's raining. They got the field covered up with tarps, but we're coming. We've been hobbling this whole dang season. And I'm, you know what, Daryl? I was talking to my dad the other day about uh, you know, man, I wish we he was like, I wish we had the number one seed. I wish we had. I said, Dad, you know what? Sometimes our destiny is through the darkness, man. And, you know, the Niners have been a team of grit all year long, playing the third string, bringing people up from the practice squad just to fill the gap, and they've been winning. And they somehow, somehow, they're in the playoffs. We're sixth seed, but you know what? That's our style right now. So let's stick with it, let's roll with it, let's go, Niners.
SPEAKER_01:Sounds good. Sounds good. Awesome way to kick off 2026 and uh look forward to uh lots and lots of uh real inspiring uh events, discussions, and podcasts.
SPEAKER_00:So yeah, and let's look for some let's look for some more uh some awesome guests doing some awesome things out there as well. Absolutely, absolutely. All right, dear. Hey, thanks for being on tonight, brother. God bless, and I'm gonna close out like I always do. God bless, and peace out.