Stress & Overstimulation: 7 Ways to Address the Stress

Stress is inevitable in the life of a mom, but if you struggle with sensory overload and overwhelm... it's even more important that you address it before it compounds.

In this episode, Whitney explores common reasons WHY moms have a hard time getting around to stress management & how to work around them.

• What is the stress cycle?
• How does stress relate to sensory overload?
• 7 simple ways to address stress, even with your kids.

Learn more about sleep in this episode:
Season 2 Episode 3: https://sensationalmoms.com/podcast/

Want your 25+ Free Tips for what to do when you're STRESSED & over it?
https://sensationalmoms.com/free-resources-for-overstimulated-moms/

Listen to Alex Viera's podcast episode about rest:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ep-14-theres-different-types-of-rest-yes-7-of-them/id1756368262?i=1000677014450

Watch alternate nostril breathing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VwufJrUhic

Do you NEED this school year to be different but lack the clarity and energy to make it happen? The Sensory Snapshot is for you if you need:

• targeted sensory & nervous system support
• routines that work for the whole family
• real-time problem solving support
• long-lasting help with just a short-term, budget-friendly commitment

Learn more or book it here.

This podcast is not meant as medical advice or a substitute for any medical advice. Please contact your health professional with any mental health or physical health questions or concerns.

Transcript

 How are you doing lately, mom? I, when people ask me how I'm doing, I have a hard time thinking through the answer to that question because I can tend to overshare a lot. But, um, if you are like me right now, then maybe the short answer would be stressed. So we are diving into. Stress. Today we are going to unpack how stress affects your ability to show up in the often overstimulating chaos that is motherhood.

And most importantly, I want you to walk away with some daily simple practices that you can do to help you discharge that stress so that it does not. End up like this endless yarn ball of stress that just compounds and compounds and causes chronic health problems and gets in the way of you showing up as the mom that you want to be with your kids.

If this is your first time here, welcome. Let me introduce myself. I am Whitney. I am an occupational therapist, turned homeschool mom and now a mom coach. I specialize in helping moms who feel touched out and talked out by our kids, and I help you find joy and connection in the chaos that is motherhood.

So we do that through understanding our unique nervous system and figuring out how to meet. Our needs and the needs of our kids in practical, everyday ways so that you can find that joy. Most days. You can find more information about coaching and consulting services that I offer@sensationalmoms.com and come hang out with me on social media at sensational moms.

So first I want you to just understand how stress relates to your ability to handle the sensory stress that comes with motherhood. So I often talk about how sensory stress does not get its own special little bucket in our brain. Stress is stress, and if you feel easily overwhelmed or overstimulated by your kids, even though you love them, you know, like.

Happy noise is still noise, right? If that is you, then stress, whether it just be the chronic repeated stressors of motherhood and all of the things that come with that duty, or maybe it is something more acute, like a situation that has caught you off guard and is causing stress in your life. Maybe it's financial stress or health stress.

Relational stress, those types of stressors limit your ability to have the capacity to deal with the day to day. Sensory stressors that come with motherhood. And yes, there are times when we can limit those stressors so that we can have more capacity to deal with the sensory stressors. But that is not always a situation with life, right?

Like right now, I am dealing with an unexpected stress in my family, and it is. Taking a lot of my capacity, right? I am seeing that I need more quiet during the day that I am more reactive to noise. For example, I sat out on a fun family game night with some friends the other night. Um, my husband was kind enough to just really encourage me to.

Leave the house and go do something for myself and have some time to sit and quiet and process what was going on. Um, but yeah, normally, you know, the idea of being in that setting wouldn't be particularly stressful. But I'm just needing more time away and I'm just being more sensitive and reactive to those environmental stressors.

And that is. To be expected, right? So yes. Number one, just understand how stress is related to sensory stress. That stress is, stress is stress. Let's talk a little bit about what the stress cycle is, because stress has its place in our lives, stress has its place in our body, and it is not always a bad thing as much of a bad rep as it gets.

So remember, the number one job of your nervous system is to keep you safe, so yes. When you notice a stressor in your life, you're going to react to it and stress. Motivates you toward change. In fact, there are some types of learning that actually occur best when we do have some stress, which I know sounds kind of counter counterintuitive, but, uh, stress has its place in our lives.

It is motivating to change and stress is just normal and it's even good sometimes, but the problem is when we get stuck in that stress mode and not being able to return back to a baseline of rest and feeling grounded. So the stress cycle. Is noticing what is in our environment or in our lives, that that is needing attention.

So first we notice it and it is alerting, right? It grabs our attention and then it motivates us to act. So, you know, think about the classic situation of encountering the bear. Or the lion in the wild and you see the stressor and you're gonna react to it, right? Ideally you see it and you run the classic fight, flight, uh, situation.

There's also other stress responses, like a freeze response and a please response that apply in other sorts of situations. But, um, the point is there is a reaction to the stressor, right? So we notice it, it alerts us, we act on it, and then this is what we're talking about today. We have to resolve or return to that baseline.

So sometimes this resolution can occur close to the time of the stressor sometimes. That stress relief is going to happen a little bit later, but it is important that we do it, that we, um, that we engage in things to help us return back to that baseline state because if you get stuck in a state of hyper arousal, you better bet that you are going to be extra snappy and reactive.

Short tempered and impatient and all of the things that we tell ourselves, you know, are, are being a bad mom. Like, yeah, the things that make you feel bad, you're gonna get stuck there and you're gonna do those things because you are in a hyper arousal, hyper alert. Notice every little thing, nervous system state.

So if you feel stuck there, there are things you can do to shift yourself out of that state. Stress delivers a quick surge of adrenaline to mobilize us to act. But not all stress actually needs that physical reaction. Right? So tell that to your biology. Um, either way that adrenaline gets sent and. Starts this whole cascade of hormones that need to be used or diffused.

You can't just will your way or talk yourself out of that reaction, but we sure are good at shaming ourselves for it as moms. Now, I would be remiss if I did not mention adrenal fatigue here, because you can be stuck in such a chronic stress state that your body just cannot keep up with the demands of the cortisol.

And so at some point your adrenals are just like, mm-hmm I can't do this anymore. I quit. And it might be kind of confusing because your labs might read the opposite of, you know, of, of how much cortisol is is going on and it's kind of, um, it's kind of a, y'all stress affects your ability to find words, word retrieval.

And yes, I am recording this episode when I am stressed word finding. Okay, what's the word? It's like a. It's a inverse relationship sometimes, so you know, a lot of understanding what's going on with your body. Uh, if you're stuck in that chronic stress state, I would highly encourage you to find a knowledgeable.

Functional medicine provider to help you figure out really what's going on. If you feel like you've been living in a chronic stress state for a while, if you feel like you are just shut down in things that should elicit that stress response or that reaction aren't even doing that, then you should reach out and see if a medical provider can help you sort through these things.

Okay, so let's get down to it. What are seven things that you can do to affect your stress and to help let stress run its course and discharge and move on? Okay, first of all, it does not have to be complicated. I feel like that is. One of the biggest barriers when it comes to addressing stress in our lives as moms, especially if you are a stay at home mom or if you're a homeschooling mom, and like 24 7 doesn't even describe our lives, right?

So, um, the key is not overcomplicating. This, many of these things I'm gonna talk to you about can be done in five to 10 minutes. Or even with your kids and you modeling that intentional stress release is so, so valuable for your kids to see. So. Sometimes it means also revisiting those stressful moments later to really finish.

So maybe, you know, taking those five to 10 minutes get started. If it's a big stressful event, it might get you started and really letting go of that stress. But maybe you need to schedule time later in the day, and maybe you do need to be alone or maybe later in the week. Um, but coming back to that and really processing it to let go of that stress and let it finish its cycle is so important.

So let's start with something that is easy to do with kids, and I love it because it feeds our undernourished sensory systems. Move. Yes. Movement. And let me just say. Don't throw up a barrier and be like, okay, it's gotta be, you know, this one mile run or this whole exercise, DVD or whatever it is, whatever, you know, standard of idealism or perfection and you might be having and need to let go of movement.

Does not have to be that I, when I have dealt with a lot of stress. I have found that slow and gentle movement can be very helpful. Uh, in fact, just this past weekend I got in the pool. I. Partly because of an act of defiance. I mean, it is still so hot here in Georgia and it's to that point of summer where my kids, for some reason are kind of over the pool and not getting in it.

And so I'm like, ah, why am I maintaining this pool and no one's even in it. I'm gonna get in it. So anyway, I got in the pool and I just floated. I just floated. I mean, I might have also done a very leisurely dog paddle, like back and forth through the pool, but I did not swim laps. You know, I did not get my heart pounding.

I listened to my body and I did what felt good. And so the beauty of movement, and I would encourage you if you choose movement too. Choose movement that is going to be against resistance. And you know, if it gets your head in a different position than upright, then that's extra good because our sense of movement, our vestibular system.

Is pretty understimulated as adults. And also that muscle engagement, that pushing, pulling, um, for in the pool for example, you know, pushing against the water, that sort of thing feeds your sensory system that is in your fascia and your joints, your proprioceptive system. And if there was a magic pill for your sensory systems, that would be it.

So move, move your body kids again. So something you can do with your kids is just joining in what they are doing. So this evening my daughter wanted me. To watch her kick the soccer ball around. And I watched and I joined in with her, um, intentionally. Again, I'm having to just be extra intentional right now about my stress relief.

And so yes, kicking that ball really hard felt kind of good. So joining in with our kids play is another way of getting movement. Let's go on to number two, which is another one of my favorites to do with kids, and that is laughter. I think we think so much about crying with stress and we are gonna talk about that later, but laughing, intentional laughter with our kids.

Um, what does this look like practically? I, the kids and I have some like family friend friendly comedians that we enjoy listening to. I will also, I've been known to just. Ask one kid in particular who's my jokester in the family. We've just asked for a one-liner joke, right? Um, just a joke to make me laugh.

I also like to just turn on some silly music and. Dance with the kids. That's fun. Uh, silly songs. I may or may not listen to some old Adam Sandler music with the kids sometimes. Like, uh, lunch ladyland maybe. Uh, anyway, yeah, so choosing the comedy for family movie night. Um, the other night we were watching a movie night.

A movie on Friday night like we do sometimes. And um, my first reaction when someone asked me what to watch was to say, oh, I don't care. And then I backpedal. I said, no, no, no. I want something funny. I need to laugh. Right? So choosing the comedy is another way to work in laughter in our lives. The third thing that you can do to help close out that stress cycle is being intentional about physical affection.

Touch is so, so powerful, and I say this knowing that maybe you are like me and you have a extra sensitive touch system. Um, I can get touched out pretty easily with my kids, so. I, the way that I make sure that I am getting that touch to help my stress management is I find it's better if I'm the one that's initiating it.

And I do prefer hugs with my kids. And so, um, I initiate just these really big bear hugs and they reciprocate. That's a lot more organizing and grounding for me. Thin, like a light tickly sort of surprising touch. So, um, being intentional about that physical affection, it doesn't always come naturally to me.

But I have been asking my kids for hugs more often. Um, and it's been great for my kids who love that physical affection. I mean, we all need it, but you know, if you have that kid that just craves it more, then this kid has responded really well to me, needing more of it. So it's been good for that kid.

Physical affection? Yes. Okay, so move on to. Another fun one to do with kids following their lead is creating. Kids are really good at creating art just for the sake of the process and not being so concerned with the outcome all the time. So especially younger kids following their lead, um, instead of just kind of watching my kids doing things.

I like to be intentional when I'm feeling stressed about just sitting beside them, grabbing some paper myself and just doodling or grabbing a coloring book that I like and coloring. If I have a little more time, then I do like watercolor and I'm trying to get into, uh, acrylic pouring. I've wanted to do that for a while.

I just look so cathartic. Um, I have not gotten to try it yet again. That's gonna take a little extra time. But even just sitting down with your kid and doodling or coloring alongside them is very, very helpful. You could dust off an old instrument if you're like me and maybe you have an instrument hanging on the wall, that you don't get to play as often as you would like.

Yeah, just grab it off the wall and play for a few minutes. Again, I think that one of our biggest barriers to engaging in these sorts of things is this, you know, setting this really unattainable high standard for the season of life that we're in as moms. And you know what? Five minutes may not be as good as 15 minutes, but it's a whole lot better than zero.

So just grabbing that instrument and. Playing it just for fun. Uh, gardening is another way to create, you could refinish furniture that can be really cathartic. There are so many ways that you can engage your creative self. So the key here with creating is just to use yourself, like use your body and your mind and your a creative being.

Use that to do something. Wow. Okay, so that was number four. That means that we are over halfway done. Hang in there. There's only three left. And yeah, you can do all of these with your kids. Eden, these last three, the last one might be tricky, but I'll explain when we get there. So deep breeding. So if you hear deep breathing, you know when you're stressed, that can, it can sound kind of trite if I'm being honest, or like a little disconnected.

It's like, oh, sure, yeah, focus, focus on your breathing and it'll be fine. Um, or maybe it brings back memories of childbirth. I don't know. But it's true that breath work is so. Powerful. And maybe if you understand a little bit of why, then you can consider buying into it instead of brushing it off. Um, tapping into the power of your breath shifts you back into a connected.

Or a ventral vagal state, if you've heard me speak much about polyvagal theory in the past. So if you think about the part of your nervous system that is automatic, it's also called the autonomic nervous system. It has parts, it has the sympathetic part, which is the part that's activated by the stress, and then you have the part that is supposed to help you.

You know, shift down and the rest and digest parasympathetic nervous system. Um, so the. Ventral vagal system, part of your parasympathetic system helps you shift back into that connected social state. And breath work is very, very powerful for that vagal break to get you back into your body and feeling safe and connected.

So. Um, yes, you can do counted breathing, you can do boxed breathing. The point of all of it is that you are focusing on a longer exhale. So one of my favorites is alternate nostril breathing. I like it because it doesn't necessarily require me to count some of the others. The counting is kind of distracting for me when I'm feeling stressed, but I know not everyone's that way.

Some people find the counting to be soothing, but breath work does not always have to be that. It can be humming. It could be breath prayer, if you're familiar with that. It could be. Singing. That's one of my favorite ways to focus on my breath when I'm with my kids, is to sing a song that we like together.

And sometimes it might be a silly song depending on my mood, and we'll get some laughter in there to as well. Right. But. Deep breathing really is very powerful and it is worth you finding a method or a tool that you like. Maybe it is lighting a candle and gently blowing the flame. Maybe that visual helps, but figuring out which one sits well with you, or preferably a couple.

Um, just so that you have options, right. It is really worth your time. Okay, so deep breathing. If you wanna know more about how deep breathing really engages your diaphragm and what deep breathing looks like and what it doesn't look like, then I will find a video and I will put it down in the show notes for you to see.

What a diaphragmatic deep breath should look like for you. I think this is hard for a lot of us, especially if you are a mom, because I have recently started to really learn about how our pelvic floor affects deep breathing because of its relation to our diaphragm and. Yeah, I did not realize how my weak pelvic floor was affecting my difficulty with deep breathing.

That's amazing how our body is connected. So let's go on to number six. Crying. I told you it would be here and yes. You can cry with your kids. Um, I know sometimes it's nice to cry alone. I really needed a good cry this past weekend and I got that in the car one time and one, one more time. I, I forget when it was, but it's been a, it's been a week y'all.

Anyway, crying is so, so cathartic for stress relief. Um, I used to think people were kind of crazy when they would say, I just need a good, a good, uh. Sad movie so I can get a good cry. I understand. I understand now. I mean, I don't really have a good, sad movie to cry to, but I do understand the feeling of just needing to cry and the relief that comes after that.

And it is real. It's real. So, uh, yes. It's okay to let your kids see you cry. I mean, you know, I know each situation is different. Handle it how you will and with wisdom, but one of the most powerful memories that I've had with a kid. Is crying together with this child. And I will say that that moment was a turning point in my motherhood.

In fact, I think I talk about that with, uh, Theresa Wirick and in an interview that she and I shared. And that podcast episode is coming out after this one, so you can hear a little bit more about that story then. But crying with our kids, um, can. Be good for them as well. Okay. We are rounding out here.

Number seven. We did it. Number seven is rest. Okay. And before you say Whitney, you're crazy to say that we can do all these with our kids. How can I rest with my kid? Um, let me explain a little bit more about what I mean by rest. Yes, rest is sleep. I can't emphasize that enough that we do the best we can to get adequate.

Physical rest, but rest is more than physical rest. If you wanna learn more about sleep and how that affects us as moms with our sensory processing and things you can do to help yourself sleep better, then I'm gonna put a link down in the show notes to a podcast episode about that. I think that was from February.

Of this year, of 2025. So you can learn more about that there. Yes. Physical sleep. There is also a kind of rest that activates, uh, a, a a, uh, system, I guess you could say in your brain called the default mode network, which is an awake kind of rest. It's activated during things like mindfulness or just even really daydreaming, like mind wandering or.

If you like more structured things, guided meditation, but if you can picture what it's like to just kind of be laying in a hammock with your mind just drifting. From thing to thing, just being, then that is the default mode network in your brain being activated and that is so important for our health and that is rest.

That is a different kind of rest that is so vital. So. That's especially important to be activated. If you have tendencies to being more a DD or A DHD, then it's important to engage this part of your brain. So there are other kinds of rests too. And a podcast episode that I listened to by Alex Viera, the at the Confident Parent.

She did a great job of. Introducing this idea of rest being different kinds of rest. Uh, she talks about mental rest, sensory rest, spiritual, creative, emotional, and social rest as well. And she does a good job of describing what that looks like in our lives as moms. And the author of the book that she mentioned was.

Sandra Dalton Smith and her book is called Sacred Rest. So if you wanna read more about that, then check out that book or just dive into Alex's podcast episode that I will put down in the show notes as well. So really broadening how we think of rest. Can be very helpful for us as moms. I know that, uh, if you limit rest to just physical rest, then there are seasons where you will feel like a total failure, or at least I have because, uh, a physical rest, sleep has been an ongoing struggle.

In my house for years, like well beyond baby years, and that has far reaching impacts on our health as moms. So figuring out ways that we are able to engage in rest even when our physical rest is interrupted. Yes, that would be so, so valuable because. There are going to be times when we don't sleep well as moms when we have sick kids.

Um, when we're taking care of other people. Maybe we're taking care of aging parents. There could be so many reasons that we are not getting adequate sleep. Hormonal changes, right? So rest, yes, rest is physical rest, but rest is also so much more.

Okay, so there we go. Those are the seven ways that I would suggest you consider completing the stress cycle. So just to recap, we started off with talking about movement, then laughter, physical affection, creating deep breathing. Crying and we finished up with rest. So if you are thinking, okay, Whitney, that sounds great in this ideal world, but how do I actually get around to it?

Then I would just remind you that if you don't get around to discharging the stress in your life, be it. Acute stress or chronic stress, then it will get around to you. It's not going anywhere and it will have lifelong impacts. So, I mean, I've seen it. I've seen it in the hospital, I've seen it in my own life with loved ones.

I've felt it certainly in my life I've dealt with. Um. Early hormonal issues because of chronic stressors in my life that I've had to work through. So if we don't make the time on one side, it will catch up with us and we'll have to do it later anyway. So with that in mind, I think it's really important to check in with yourself on a regular basis.

And if that means that you need to set a reminder on your phone or with your watch or with your smart speaker, maybe even give your kids, uh, a reminder to ask you a question or to say a keyword, but to remind you. To check in with yourself and see where your stress levels are. You know, if your physical stress levels, any mental or emotional stress, you know, use those reminders to help you.

I. Also want you to remember that addressing stress in your life is not a once and done thing, and you don't need to always schedule, you know, this time to do the stress relief because so much of stress relief can happen in micro doses. Really communicate your needs in the moment to a supportive person.

When you do feel like you need those longer stretches of time to be able to then come back, so maybe you had a little micro dose of some stress relief, but if you need to come back and circle around because it's still there, then communicate the logistics of making that. Happen. I know that, um, before this fall, I used to have a consistent day when I knew that in the evening I would have time by myself to process through those sorts of things.

I haven't. Found that yet again this fall, I haven't quite gotten my feet underneath me with, uh, new scheduling with the kids' activities in the evening and that sort of thing, and I miss that time. And so I am going to find it. By golly, it won't look the same. It may not be for as long, but I need that time, and I would encourage you to find it for yourself.

As well if you need it. So do it now or do it later, but do something to address the stress. If you circle back later, then that's great, but at least start now. Start somewhere. So there you have it, the seven ways that you can intentionally address stress in your life as a busy mom. Yes, there are more than seven, but we're gonna keep it to seven tonight, and I want you to understand how stress really does impact your ability to.

Handle the chaos that is inherent in motherhood. I really hope that you have found one or maybe two new things to try to microdose some stress relief into your life as a mom who tends to feel easily overwhelmed. Hire your kids. Know that you're not alone in that. And until next time, I really do hope that you are able to find connection even in the chaos.