Unhinged + Unfiltered: Who gave them a mic?
Real women - slightly unhinged - get real about the daily chaos of motherhood, business, relationships and everything that comes from life. From airing out the dirty laundry to actually washing it, we dive into the messy, beautiful, and hilarious reality of navigating life.
Unhinged + Unfiltered: Who gave them a mic?
#51 - Midyear Recalibration: Steph's Honest Journey
The turning point came when Steph's dog died because she was rushing. Then an ectopic pregnancy requiring surgery showed how disconnected she'd become from her own body. These wake-up calls forced a hard look at the hustle mentality she'd embraced for 35 years.
"I don't want to live like this anymore," Steph reveals in this vulnerable mid-year reflection. Halfway through 2025, she's discovering what happens when you create space instead of filling every minute. The transformation hasn't made her life any less full—with three kids, a husband working long hours, and her own business—but her relationship with time and presence has fundamentally shifted.
What's surprising her most? How capable she is of setting boundaries without guilt. How she can say no to clients who don't energize her. How she can show up differently as a mother as her children grow older, asking herself, "Am I giving them the childhood I want to? Am I being the mum that builds them up?" These questions extend to her marriage as she wonders, "Am I still going to be in love with my husband when they leave home?"
The conversation delves into dismantling long-held beliefs about success requiring constant hustle. "I'm really undoing those beliefs that it has to be complicated, it has to be full, it has to be a certain way to get where you want to go," Steph shares. "Sometimes simplifying things is actually what you need to do."
This intimate look at one woman's journey from perpetual motion to intentional presence offers wisdom for anyone feeling overwhelmed by life's demands. As Steph puts it, the obstacle to living your ideal life often comes from within "myself." The limiting beliefs we've carried for decades can be unraveled, but it takes commitment to a new way of being.
Ready to explore your own relationship with hustle and presence? Steph offers one-off sessions combining shadow work and breathwork, a six-month group program, and limited one-on-one coaching packages. Connect with us to learn more about working with Steph and transforming your relationship with time, purpose, and presence.
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Expression of interest
Welcome to Unhinged and Unfiltered. Who Gave them a Mic. We're your hosts, steph and Lorinda.
Speaker 2:Warning getting triggered is not only accepted but encouraged here. This podcast will dive deep into conversations that make you really think about life. No top level BS here.
Speaker 1:Where real women get real about the daily chaos of motherhood, business relationships and everything that comes from life. From airing out the dirty laundry to actually washing it. We dive into the messy, beautiful and hilarious reality of navigating life.
Speaker 2:Tune in for unfiltered conversations, practical tips and tools that actually work and are easily applied, and a whole lot of laughs as we navigate the ups and downs of being a woman together.
Speaker 1:Hello, hello, and actually really funny. We pulled an episode about out of our butts because we're like we have half an hour, what can we do? And then we thought, hey, it's actually halfway through the year and we've been doing this podcast for like nearly a year now, and which is insane, and we wanted to kind of like do a mid-year check-in. And so this episode is going to be me essentially asking Steph a lot of questions and her to be open, honest and transparent with all of us so you get to know her a little bit more on a deeper level, because we actually are humans behind us giving all of our opinions. So, steph, we are in June, we are. I would love to know, now that we're halfway through 2025, how are you actually feeling?
Speaker 2:right now. How am I actually feeling? My heart just started fucking going like a drum. Fyi guys. I went to the doctor on Monday. Do I want to share this? Yeah, let's do it. Do I want to share this? Yeah, let's do it. I went to get a referral for an assessment to um to be assessed for ADHD, which we've we've joked about in the past.
Speaker 1:Podcast on many episodes on many episodes.
Speaker 2:So I finally did the thing and she asked me. She was like do you, do you experience anxiety? I was like, no, no, I don't. And then I had a few situations happen this week and I was like, oh, yes, I do. I just thought it was normal that my brain raced all the time, but apparently it's not. What was the question? How am I feeling right now? Um, in all honesty, at this point in time, like this exact moment, there's a real duality, because I just turned 35, halfway to 40. Holy shit.
Speaker 1:I don't know if you did your math wrong, but that's not halfway to 40. Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is.
Speaker 1:Yes, it is.
Speaker 2:Yes, it is 35 plus 35 is not 40 it's halfway halfway through the decade to 40, halfway through my 30s okay, says the spring chicken who hasn't even turned 30 yet. Yeah, and I really feel like I am coming into my own, like I know myself, I accept myself, I love myself. I feel like I'm really starting to get to this point where I'm not like the bitchy voice in my head has finally shut up and I feel like I'm just getting to this real sort of inner peace, if you will. I feel like my business is going really well at the moment, like I've got a stable of phenomenal clients that I absolutely adore. I feel like I'm getting sort of traction on the socials and people are sort of, you know, like messaging and saying that it's helpful. And like I'm getting sort of traction on the socials and people are sort of, you know, like messaging and saying that it's helpful and like I'm just feeling like I'm really living my purpose, which is cool.
Speaker 2:And then, on the flip side of that because there's always flip sides like the last couple of weeks have been a lot and I get into periods like this and my head will go maybe you're just not handling things as well as you think you are, especially when I'm struggling a little bit with the kids because of what I speak about. I'll go into this whole imposter syndrome like you. Who are you to be speaking about this sort of stuff? You can't even handle it. Blah, blah, blah, blah. So I feel like I mean, there's always more work to be done. But, yeah, I feel like it's mostly stable. But also, you know, yeah, I don't know, that's how I'm feeling at the moment.
Speaker 1:I would love to know is this where you thought you would be when we entered January. I would love to know is this where you thought you would be when we entered?
Speaker 2:January. I honestly feel, look, the first six months of this year has been a lot. It's been huge in terms of okay. So it's something I've really been working on. And it was kind of triggered for me in January when our dog died, because that was a result of an accident. That was my fault, because I was rushing, because I was in a rush I'm always in a rush and I was like I don't want to live like this anymore. This is just. This is like a sign from the universe, if you will, and I was like I don't want to be in this constant rush, I want to continue to have to prove things and blah, blah, blah. So I feel like I've really gotten a lot better at slowing down, at taking things off of my plate, at saying no.
Speaker 2:Then I had an unexpected ectopic pregnancy in March that I needed surgery for, which was again another thing from the universe for me, where I was like I was so disconnected from my body that when I looked back at it, I was like, oh, the signs were there, but because I was just still in that, you know, because you can make a decision and sometimes it can take a little while to implement that I was still so in that like, oh my god, I've just got to get to the next thing, I've just got to get through this, I've just got to get through this, I've just got to get through this, I've just got to get through this that I didn't even notice that that was going on in my body. So I feel like from that space I have created more space and that maybe even more capacity, because I don't feel like I'm any less busy, like at the end of the day. The end of the day, I've got three kids and my husband works stupid hours and I and I run a business myself. So it's like my life is full, but I feel like I have the capacity to deal with it for the most part and it still definitely pushes me at times.
Speaker 2:I think I don't think that I would be this okay with not having a chock-a-block full calendar of work. Yeah, I didn't think I'd be okay with that because, like we couldn't podcast last week and I was like, oh, that's okay, I've got space on Monday and I've got space on Wednesday and I've got space on Thursday. Like I've had a few sort of personal appointments this week and previously it would be like, oh no, I don't have time to do that. Yeah, I don't have time, I don't have time, I don't have time. I don't have time. And, like Rin and I had a bit of, a bit of a spat over this a few months ago, she was like I feel like you've never got any time for me and I was like, yeah, I know I'm sorry, I'm working on it, but now it's like I feel like I can breathe for the first time in my life, yeah still getting used to that yeah, do you feel, like you mentioned, that you're still like really busy and stuff like that?
Speaker 1:I don't think that's going to change. I think that's also just life. Do you notice the difference in your presence, though?
Speaker 2:that's still something I'm working on, I think yeah yeah, it's again.
Speaker 2:Rome wasn't built in a day and I've been like this for 35 years, so I think it's really important to give yourself that space. But I am. It's definitely something I'm working on. I think this year, now that all three of my kids are in full-time school, I have more of a separation where when I'm working, I'm working, and when I'm mumming, I'm mumming and I'm not trying to. When I'm working, I'm working, and when I'm mumming, I'm mumming, and I'm not trying to merge the two like I was last year, and I'm kind of unapologetically taking breaks, like in the school holidays. We've got family up and.
Speaker 2:I've said I'm not doing calls that week because I'm playing mum. I feel like I'm a lot better with those boundaries. So the presence is. It's definitely coming in, but it's still something that work in progress.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what surprised you about the last six months?
Speaker 2:The ectopic pregnancy was a fucking surprise, yeah, well.
Speaker 1:I figured, but like what? Like, obviously like coming into that New Year vibe and you're like like a new year resolution, gal like yeah, I love a new year resolution. Yeah but like what has really surprised you about, like what 2025 has given you so far.
Speaker 2:I think I've really undone a lot of beliefs around, like you have to hustle. I'm really undoing those beliefs that it has to be complicated, it has to be full, it has to be a certain way in order to get where you want to go, and sometimes simplifying things is actually what you need to do. So there's been a lot of that in my world this year and definitely in regards to the way that I run my business, in the way that I am at home, I just really kind of started to take stock of what I was doing, where I was spending my time and whether or not that was how I wanted to do it, and I think that that's been. I think what's maybe surprised me is how much I've actually been able to hold those boundaries and how okay with it I've been, because, like coming from a recovering people pleaser where I would just do things simply because, like I felt like I had to, yeah, how okay with not doing that I've been.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I guess, with like knowing, like there's just a big thing of like switching from hustler to like how do you actually want to live your life? How do you think that's going to affect your next six months?
Speaker 2:I think it will definitely impact the way that I show up online, like I've gotten to the point now, especially like if we're talking in my business here, where I'm not just going to take people for the sake of taking people. I'm going to take people who I genuinely feel connected to and I genuinely feel like my work can help, rather than just you know whoever's willing to come in. I think it's shifted to that real sort of like need to receive as well as give, if that makes sense. Like, how are you going to make me feel, feel? How do I feel speaking to you? Do I walk away from calls with you feeling depleted? Do I walk away from calls with you feeling good, like, is you know if your name has come and none of my clients, if you're listening to this guys, I love you all. None of you, none of you do this for me, which is why you're still in my life but like, yeah, how do I feel when I see your name pop up on my screen?
Speaker 2:yeah like all of those sorts of things. So I think it's really again, it's just getting really clear on what I want it to look like and believing that it can look that way simply because I want it to.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a big one. I think that just relates to like business and motherhood and partners and like so many aspects.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I think yeah as well. In terms with the kids, I'm really feeling the need to. It's really starting to hit me in the face that they're getting older. Like my eldest turns eight this year, my baby's turning four in a couple of months and like my seven-year-old is losing all of his teeth and he's not looking like a baby anymore, and Logan's lost his two front teeth. That's such a weird thing, hey, my eldest. He lost two in two days.
Speaker 1:So on my birthday he walked in and he's like mom, look at my front tooth and it was like all twisted and then he fell out yeah, logan lost two in two days as well, but that's because, like, he had a wiggly one and I was like, yeah, this is going to come out in a day, and then the other one wasn't as wiggly, but he somehow accidentally kneed himself in the face and dislodged the wiggly one, but then also made the non-wiggly one wiggly, wiggly, and so they was one after the other. That's so funny.
Speaker 2:But, yeah, it's so true, like how quick motherhood happens yeah, it really does, and I'm just really taking stock as well about how I'm showing up there and am I giving them. I'm going to get emotional. Am I giving them the childhood that I want to? And am I being the mom that builds them up? And am I being the mom that they're going to come to as teenagers and and as adults and you know, are they going to want their kids around me and all of those sorts of things? And I'm really just starting to consider the balance of that, whereas I have big dreams with what I do.
Speaker 2:But my purpose is my kids. And am I still like? Am I still going to be in love with my husband when they leave home? Yeah, because I've been so fucking focused on either them or the business. It's like okay, but what about my marriage? Because it's so important to me. Like I bitch and moan about him, but I couldn't imagine spending my life with anybody else. Like he is the most wonderful man, he's such an amazing provider and he is so supportive in his way. Can't let him. If he's, if he's listening to this, I can't let him get a big head.
Speaker 1:I was just like just really just just remind, like just remind him.
Speaker 2:It's a compliment sandwich, backhanded compliment but like, yeah, am I showing up in the way that I want to in all areas? And that's a really big theme for me. Where I think I've been, I've spent a lot of time in business because we do, because we are so accessible, comparing myself to other coaches online and friends and other mothers and all the things. Like the comparison is insane and watching people have these huge big businesses and I'm looking at it and I'm like I want to be able to go to my kids sports days. Yeah, I want to be able to go to their assemblies. Like I want to be able to go to their piano recitals.
Speaker 2:My six-year-old had one of those last week which was really cool. I want to be there for those things. Like I want them to grow up and be like mom really showed up for us in every way she could. Like she was always there, she was always present, she was, she really enjoyed us and I'm like that is feeling even more important as they get older and it's just like really driving home why I do what I do. And it's just like really driving home why I do what I do because without this work, it would have been really different.
Speaker 1:I have like two questions on my heart. The first one is so, with all of those beautiful things that you want, what's stopping you from having?
Speaker 2:them really myself. It's like it's undoing the beliefs that you know that I can't have both, because I can yeah, I've got a large capacity always have and I'm like I just need to consider what's important and go from there and build it out from there. Like stop telling myself that I don't have the time, I don't have this, I don't have that, I don't have something else, and be like, no, actually, what can I do with the time that I do have?
Speaker 1:yeah just yeah, stop bullshitting myself really and what does like your ideal life look like, now that you've had all these things this year of like oh shit. Like yeah, life's moving really fast and I'm moving really fast. Like what does that look like?
Speaker 2:genuinely, I really feel like it looks like what it does, like I really like I on Tuesday morning I went and had breakfast with my girlfriends After we dropped the kids off at school. I met three of my girlfriends for breakfast and then I came home and worked and then I picked my kids up, like, like it's, it's that balance of having that time for me, for the, for my people and all of my people not just my kids and my husband, like my friends and my parents and my sister and my sisters rather, and like my family and friends and all of the things, but also then having that space for work. Yeah, and I just like I finally feel this year like I'm actually getting a bit more of a balance. If that like and it's I don't really believe that you can have a full balance when you've got kids because unexpected shit happens, but I feel like there's a lot more space when it does yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:So what does your next six months look like?
Speaker 2:I think, again, just simplifying, continue to focus on what's important. I'd love more date nights with my husband if he was ever actually home. We miss you. Yeah, I think, just really making sure that I don't lose sight of this, because it's easy to do when you've lived a certain way your entire life, to kind of notice something and then go, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, too hard, too hard. I don't want to do that. So really just making sure that I'm setting up systems and my life to support that rather than to support what my nervous system is wired to know. Yeah, so really doing work around that, making sure that, like, if it does feel scary and big and all of the things, that I am honoring that and that that's okay. And, yeah, just continuing to, continuing to track down that, that path, I think. Yeah, continuing to do more things that bring me joy, make me happy, just because I can.
Speaker 1:It's like a grounded place to be in. I know, I know and I guess because this episode is all about you to have like this. We only have two parts. What is your like? I think we did a word at the start of the year, like I can't remember mine off the top of my head right now, which probably says something. But what is your word for the next six months? Something to anchor in.
Speaker 2:Mine was health. It was, it was health. Yeah, I feel like I'm happy to keep that one, to be honest.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I feel like, yeah, just continuing to focus on that Like and again that is, it encompasses everything. It encompasses, like the health of myself, like physically, mentally, spiritually, the health of my business, the health of my family. Just, yeah, Pretty happy to keep that one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And how can people work with you?
Speaker 2:well, I do have a couple of different ways at the moment. I do have my one-off sessions, which in which I generally do merge shadow work and breath work, which has been super fun for me. I'm loving those. So that's if you want to dip your toe in the water. I've also got my group program, which is a six-month empowerment experience, which is, I love it, so much fun. And then I've obviously got the creme de la creme, which is working with me one-on-one. So there's three six or 12-month options there. Those are pretty limited at the moment because, again, my clients just keep re-signing, which is beautiful and I love them, but yeah, it's um, that's that's where I really do, like my deep work.
Speaker 2:That's that's the space that I frost the most. I think I just I love the long-term connection and getting to know people and, yeah, I, I love that space so much so those options will all be in the show notes if you're interested in coming to hang out with me and my insane brain yeah, yeah, I love a lot of that.
Speaker 1:If you could give yourself, you could go back to january. Steph, what would you say to that version of you fucking?
Speaker 2:strap in bitch. I think I would just say, like you don't need to be scared to feel. I feel like this last sort of or those six months been about nine months now has just been a lot of grief and situations in which I need to feel my feelings, which has probably been, you know what I needed a little bit. It's just like, yeah, you've got the support around you, you've got people who love you, you've got people who are very skilled around you. Just ask them for help and allow yourself to be supported. And I was beautifully supported through those times. Like my friends really showed up for me, so did my family, so did my husband, like I was really taken care of.
Speaker 2:And that was, I think, just like, if I even go back five years, I could not accept help to save my life. I hey, it made me feel so uncomfortable, whereas now it's yeah, I don't know, I just feel really supported. So I think I would just say yeah, like just let that happen, let whatever. Whatever will be will be, let yourself tumbleweed, you'll be okay, it'll. It'll all work itself out, it's fine, you're okay by June you're okay by?
Speaker 1:June well, I can't wait to see what December, when we're coming back to this episode and doing our yearly check-in We'll see, we'll see. Yeah, it's so interesting, I think, just hearing all of this stuff, it really shows you what six months can do.
Speaker 2:If you'd asked me that six months ago, I would have been like, oh no, not me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And that's so funny because when people sign for like six or twelve month containers, they're like, oh my god, like that's just a really long time. And then you're kind of like, well, we're just on six months this year yeah, it's really not a long time at all.
Speaker 2:And like so much has changed, mm-hmm yeah, yeah, yep well, thank you for letting me dig a little, just a little it was only fair, after what I did to you before we got on the podcast.
Speaker 1:But, yeah, this is just a little insight to you and I think it's really important to to share that, and you have changed so much in the last six months, so you're just like testament to this work.
Speaker 2:So thank you for sharing. You should. You should do it, I should do what? No, not you people listening. You should go do the work.
Speaker 1:It's fun I was like what do I need to do now?
Speaker 2:oh, more stuff I'm not telling you anything.
Speaker 1:You don't have to do anything yes, but if you have loved this episode, share it with your friends, get Steph out into the world. This is just a honestly just like a slither of Steph, like a tiny piece, and she's let you in and she continues to let so many people in and it's really important that, yeah, you see this side of her as well. She has changed so much in the last six months and, once again, in six months time she'll probably be different again. This work is like crack and you go through many different identity deaths and see many different things. But if you want to work with her, the information will be in the show notes. Go and stalk her stuff there's heaps of stuff on her page and then also like book in a call with her. Maybe book in a call with her, maybe it's one-to-ones, maybe it's her six-month, maybe you just want to dip your toes in. She does have those options for you. So, yes, thank you for sharing.
Speaker 2:Thank you for letting me share. I'll catch you guys next time. Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker 1:We've absolutely loved being here with you today, and if you have enjoyed today's episode as much as we have enjoyed recording it, please leave a review or drop into our DMs. We would love to hear from you.