Unhinged + Unfiltered: Who gave them a mic?
Real women - slightly unhinged - get real about the daily chaos of motherhood, business, relationships and everything that comes from life. From airing out the dirty laundry to actually washing it, we dive into the messy, beautiful, and hilarious reality of navigating life.
Unhinged + Unfiltered: Who gave them a mic?
#55 - Unlearning The Need To Give To Receive
Ever caught yourself creating chaos when everything's going smoothly? Or felt like you need to give, give, give until there's nothing left just to be worthy? You're not alone.
After a year of consistent weekly episodes, we've made the decision to shift to a fortnightly schedule. This choice wasn't made lightly—it emerged from deep reflection on our patterns of overgiving, people-pleasing, and the sometimes uncomfortable feeling of stability.
Both of us have recognized familiar shadows: the belief that our worth comes from constant production, the discomfort that arises when life gets too "secure," and the tendency to burn ourselves out in service to others. As we navigate our successful businesses, family responsibilities, and personal growth, we've realized that sometimes less truly is more.
Through vulnerable conversation, we explore why security can feel terrifying when you've been programmed for chaos, how to recognize when you're creating unnecessary drama, and why slowing down doesn't mean giving less value, it often means giving more. We share our struggles with the question: "What do I contribute if I'm not constantly doing?" and how we're learning that simply being present is often contribution enough.
This episode offers permission to examine where you might be overcomplicating your life out of habit rather than necessity. It's about challenging the hustle culture that keeps us exhausted and disconnected from what truly matters, while honestly acknowledging the discomfort that comes with making changes aligned with our authentic desires instead of our conditioned "shoulds."
Ready to question where you might benefit from doing less but better? Join us on this journey of unlearning and reclaiming our time, energy, and joy. We'd love to hear how this resonates with you—drop into our DMs or leave a review to continue the conversation!
Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.
FREE resources:
Chaos to calm masterclass
Shadow Work Prompts
Book a call with Lurinda
Book a call with Steph
Join Lurinda's Retreat Watilist for 2025
Want to come on the show?
If you have an amazing story, or a unique perspective on a topic and are willing to be Unhinged & Unfiltered AF, we'd love to hear from you.
Expression of interest
Welcome to Unhinged and Unfiltered. Who Gave them a Mic? We're your hosts, steph and Lorinda.
Speaker 2:Warning getting triggered is not only accepted, but encouraged here. This podcast will dive deep into conversations that make you really think about life. No top level BS here.
Speaker 1:Where real women get real about the daily chaos of motherhood, business relationships and everything that comes from life, from airing out the dirty laundry to actually washing it. We dive into the messy, beautiful and hilarious reality of navigating life.
Speaker 2:Tune in for unfiltered conversations, practical tips and tools that actually work and are easily applied, and a whole lot of laughs as we navigate the ups and downs of being a woman together. Hello, and welcome back to what is still currently Unhinged and Unfiltered, but that might be changing very soon. We are here today to talk about a couple of changes that are coming to the podcast, to our lives, to all of the things. First announcement we'll just lead with it because I'm I don't know about you, ren, but I fucking hate those things where it's like listen till the end to hear all about our exciting announcement.
Speaker 2:I'm like, just tell me now yeah then I'll decide like I'll listen if it's fucking valuable. So our first, well, only real thing to tell you about this today is that we have decided to move from weekly podcasts to fortnightly, and we've been grappling with this for a little while because and we've got some juicy shit to share with you about this- Don't we always, don't we always just putting ourselves on the fucking chopping blocks.
Speaker 2:Here we are both, which is probably why we get along so well. We both have similar shadows in a lot of areas, but we are both the type of people who overgive, who feel like we have to overcompensate sometimes, who feel like we have to overcompensate sometimes, who feel like we have to hustle to give, give and give, and give, and give and give in order to be worthy. And it's something that we have been actively working on unlearning this year, and we've been working on learning that it's okay to just be us and that it's like we have a lot to give as we are your face, then we're so funny I know we're still unlearning it, we're still unlearning it, we're working on it that we don't necessarily have to be burning ourselves out and complete like giving absolutely everything in order to be good enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think it's like that.
Speaker 1:We just bring value by being who we are yeah, man like, but we just haven't felt that for a really long time. It's like okay, but what do I provide in this relationship? What do I, what do I provide in this friendship? Like, obviously, as coaches, like we are in a relational container where I'm like I, there's give and take, so there's like constant, like giving and giving and giving, and then also let's add in like the fact that we're mothers. So it's just like this constant, like pulling of, like, okay, but I need to give, I need to give, I need to give and like we've done a lot of work around receiving. But I feel, like with personal development and even with these shadows, like you kind of meet that threshold and you're like, yeah, okay, cool, I can, I can receive this much and I don't have to give that much. And then you meet the next level and you're like, ooh, I don't think I'm worthy of receiving that much, but for me to receive that much, I then need to give, give, and that tends to look like a ratio of like two to one or even ten to one, sometimes two to one. That's generous, yeah, but it's just like so for us. It's like something that we've spoken about, but by us pulling back because you're kind of like okay, cool, like I'll listen to the episodes, whatever.
Speaker 1:But for us it's kind of like but we've been putting this out weekly for like a year now. We've been doing this every single week and even sometimes nearly shitting ourselves because we're like shit, we need to do an episode, because we need to do it out weekly, and it always tends to be at the start of the week, like it's either Monday or the very latest Tuesday, and we wanted to be able to have a space where we give, we give you value, we give you connection to us, we show you that you're not alone in this journey. So for us to go well, actually, we don't actually need to do that every single week, and there's a few reasons for this. The first one is that when we put out these episodes, we want to have a lot of value in it, we want to have a lot of quality, we want to have a lot of juicy things in it.
Speaker 1:When we're pressured, we just don't perform at our best, we just don't speak to our best ability. We don't plan these things Like out of the year. Of these episodes, we haven't really planned many of them. We can't just go for it. But we're in a stage where both of our businesses are doing really well, our family are doing really well, everything is very smooth sailing, which we're going to talk into why that can be a little unsettling, but it means that we do have more space to plan and have more quality.
Speaker 1:So then you're kind of like well, you know, the shadow side of this is that we are being pressured by ourselves no one else, by ourselves that we are not giving what we actually want to give and that we're just doing more quantity than quality. Obviously, the benefit of this is we got a whole year of episodes out. Like the gift of the shadow of that over giving is like we connected and knew more about each other over the last year. We've given so much. We've been really fucking consistent at something which can be a little odd to us sometimes, but like we've been so consistent in making sure that these episodes come out on time that they're coming with value. We've had guests, we've had, you know, tears, we've had anger, we've had all of these different pieces that it's like now time to go. Cool, we have the foundation of our podcast. How can we make it even better? And sometimes by making it even better means that you do actually have to pull back.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. We've also been talking a little bit about the quantity over quality thing. We feel like we've lost our way a little bit in that. We're sometimes scrambling to think of what we can talk about and that's not what we set out to do. Obviously, when we first started, we were full of all these ideas and full of motivation and full of excitement and I'm pretty sure I can speak for Lorinda here. But I know what I'm like and I do tend to get really excited about new projects. I'm really motivated. I just want to do it all the time and then I get to the point where I burn myself out for it and I put it down forever and I'm pretty sure that's yeah, she's nodding along.
Speaker 2:But we don't want this podcast to become that, because we have received so many beautiful messages from you guys over the last year saying how much this podcast has helped you, how much you've learned from it, how much it's helped you to uncover your own shadows, how much you appreciate our vulnerability and what we have shared, and we want to keep bringing that to this podcast without getting to the point where it just feels like we're talking for the sake of talking. And don't get us wrong. We can talk for the sake of talking. That's no drama. It's like we've been on zoom for the last hour working slash talking shit. We love it.
Speaker 2:We love a chat, but in a world where there is so much information to consume there is so many opinions, so many podcasts, so many things that you could be doing with your time we really want to make sure that we pack these episodes with value that you are actually going to be able to take and apply and change your lives with, because our goal for this podcast we've said this from the start has always been impact, and we know that not everybody can afford to, has the time to, or even wants to come into a one-to-one container with us or one of our programs or anything like that, but we still want to be able to help you yeah, and I think it's like Steph said, like impact was our biggest thing, and obviously that sounds really vague, but it's impact.
Speaker 1:In whatever way you take it, whether it's like you listen to one episode or you've listened to them all, we want to make sure that when you do click on an episode of ours, it is what you need to hear. And when we do that scrambling, when we do that that thing, it's like well, we haven't really prepared to the best of our ability and we actually have a lot to give. And we've not only had a lot of experiences in our life, but we've done a lot of education and we continue to up level our education because it's something that one we really love doing. We're both like really big learners, but also like we want to be able to constantly provide, and so it's like, well, how can we do that? Well, it's going to have to be pulling back and using the time that we would have used to to plan these things and, to you know, also make better content, because I'm fucking terrible at that but but for us to be able to have time so that way, if it is quality and someone does message us, we can talk to them about it like we. Just time is something that a lot of mothers don't seem to have, I mean, or even just people in general, but we are very precious with our time and I think that comes into like the next part of like the security piece, like something I did a post yesterday about things that you don't realize, that dysregulate you, and one of them is security and one of them is stability, and for us, in the phase of life we're at, I would like to have more time in my schedule to be able to do more embodiments, to meet more of my own stuff, so that way, when I come on to these podcasts, I can be like well, did, an embodiment.
Speaker 1:This is what came up for me and I can share through experience and education, and we are both in very secure positions and I'm going to be honest with you, that scares the shit out of me. It scares the shit out of me for a few reasons of like. Like we both and I'm going to speak for your stuff as well have a little bit of an abandonment wound, and so when you have stability and security, your nervous system is a little bit haywire if you haven't had that, so for the majority of my 20s, I have not been in a secure position financially, emotionally, like romantically either. And so, for the first time in my life, I am financially secure, I am romantically secure, I am emotionally secure, and my nervous system is like when is this going to leave us? When is this, when is the ball going to drop? Are you deserving of this security and stability? Why do you get that and other people don't?
Speaker 1:So for me personally, it's kind of like well, I need to take some time to regulate that, I need some time to sit in, that, I need some time to actually enjoy that. And I never wanted this podcast to be like oh shit, like we have to do this. I wanted it to be a space where I'm like okay, cool, like I've moved through some shit or I've noticed a pattern with my clients that I want to share, because I know a lot of people going through it, or there's just something that I feel really passionate about. When you don't have time, you're kind of like well, what do I need to talk about? So I think, also a lot of people, when it comes into personal development, when they have stability and security, they find things to make it more chaotic.
Speaker 1:So an example would be we could keep this podcast once a week, we could continue to scramble, we could continue to create more chaos, but that's actually not what my nervous system needs. It needs to take time to be familiar with this feeling and so like the lesson here as well for everyone. Listening is like noticing where maybe your relationship is going really well and you start a fight, maybe notice that your friendship has no drama and you're like should I create a little bit more chaos? Notice if there's a project but you leave it last minute. You've had months and months and months to do it and you're like fuck, it's now due last minute because that's chaotic to your nervous system and that's familiar to your nervous system, instead of actually going, wow, I have heaps of time, let me just start it now. Or actually, could I just be really kind to my father and actually just sit with this?
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm probably still going to leave things to the last minute, because that's just who I am as a person yes, and I guess it's.
Speaker 1:The other side of that, though, is like where can you use that chaos in a good way?
Speaker 2:yeah, because, like, not everything needs to be fixed. Like, this is the thing with the whole personal development space that I take issue with, especially in shadow work and all of those sorts of things which obviously we both absolutely froth it's our main bread and butter. But I have clients come into me and they say things like, oh, I've just spotted this pattern, or I've just spotted this thing that I do, or we find a shadow or something when we're in session and I say to them you know, how's that actually impacting your life? And they're like, well, I guess it's not. I'm like, well, is it okay to just be aware of it? Then? Is it okay to be aware of the fact that I work well under pressure?
Speaker 2:A lot of people don't, and if you've got a chaos pattern, you don't work well under pressure. That's not a good mix. You need to fix that because that's going to be causing issues with your life. For me, I do work better under pressure. I've created some of my best work at the last minute, and so like, what if it was okay for that to just be a thing? And what if I could reduce chaos in other areas where it doesn't have to be like it can be chaotic over here in this little space, and I can blow like let my little chaos pattern just run wild over there because it works well there, but it doesn't work well in all of the other areas, it's not necessary in all of the other areas, so what if I was just super chaotic here but in other areas?
Speaker 2:I actually allowed myself to explore being a little bit more organized this term and I've sat with this a little bit, to be honest, around whether or not I'm creating extra chaos. But my kids wanted to do a few extra sports and I was like am I just rerunning that pattern again where things start to calm down, things start to get a little bit less busy, and then I add things to my plate. And I've really been stopping and thinking about it and I'm like no, you know what? I think that this is actually giving me the opportunity to notice where I'm wasting time, where that chaos is sitting in areas where it shouldn't be, where that chaos is sitting in areas where it shouldn't be, and how I can further systemize things, how I can make better systems, how I can become more organized, how I can make things run better, waste less time in order to fit those things in that align with my values, because for some, for me, I love my business so much, I love what I do so much, I love my clients.
Speaker 2:I love all of it, except for the admin that bit I hate. But a huge thing that I love about my business is that I get to do it around my kids, is that I get to be both. I get to have this beautiful business that I love and I get to bring extra income into the household and all of those things. And then I get to pick my kids up from school every day and I get to take them to the sports that they want to try and I get to encourage them and support them to maybe find something that they really fucking love, because otherwise what am I teaching them?
Speaker 2:That you go to school, you come home, you fuck around, you don't really do much like that's what a lot of people are fucking doing. That's what a lot of my clients do when they come to me like steph, I've got no hobbies. I don't even know what I like doing anymore, because all I'm doing is what I have to do and I'm like, if I can give my kids the opportunity to like, I probably don't really want them doing all the sports that they're doing this term, but we'll allow it. But like allowing them to explore things outside of school and outside of being at home with the family and allowing them to become their own people, and that's my fucking job as their mom. It's my job to support that, it's my job to help them to explore things like that and it's also my job, if I feel that it's not working, to go. Okay, guys, this is probably burning you out a little bit because that's also a pattern that is in myself, so I am aware of it with my children.
Speaker 1:But like I can do both, so organizing my time a little bit better, imagine how much fucking time I'll have in the school holidays yeah, and I also think that, like, like we mentioned before with the threshold right, just because something is not a detriment now doesn't mean it's always going to stay that way. So like, like, let's go to the giving thing right, and like even us doing weekly, what was the light side of that? What was the gift? Well, we created a podcast pretty fucking quickly. We didn't really fuck around with it. We went let's do a podcast, let's find out the system, let's fucking post it. And then from there we're like well, we really want to give, so we do scramble, we have made that extra time, we have pulled in people.
Speaker 1:So it's kind of like okay, the gift was we provided a lot of value for the last year. Right, we pulled something out of our asses. That has actually been one of the most consistent things. It's now coming to that point of like, well, it's kind of like a little bit of a detriment now. Like not a total detriment, but it's kind of like, well, we could actually make this better, we could actually create more space in our schedule to go. Well, actually, let's plan this a little bit better, let's market a little bit better, let's find more people to interview. So it's kind of like okay, well, the chaos pattern. For me, the chaos pattern was good, because I fucking survived and we got a lot of experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like we, just we were like let's just do it, like fuck it, let's just do it, let's not think about, let's just do it yeah, like it was so funny for majority of my 20s.
Speaker 1:If I was to ring, like my other best friend, I'd be like, hey, and she's like, what did you do? Now Feels Like what did you sign up to now, and I'm like but where did that get me to here? Totally the detriment side, though, was that I was doing that for a long period of time, burning myself out, then creating a piece around. I have to be doing something to be worthy. I have to be doing something to be worthy. I have to be doing something. I have to be growing, because we get into that narrative of personal development. I have to be growing. I have to be healing. I have to do long-term mentorship. I have to be doing all these things. And what was that doing for me? Burning me the fuck out and giving me a complex.
Speaker 1:So, like the shadows uh, they're not always bad no, that's always a gift always a gift, and sometimes they need to sit in the shadows for a little bit longer because they're not ready to come out. So, like for us it's kind of like cool. When have we kind of tipped more into the shadow side of things? And we have started to do that because we're like, okay, well, what are we going to talk about? I don't know, let's just press, see what happens, and sometimes it's a great episode. But I think I'm like, well, we're at a point in our business and in our lives that we could probably plan a little bit more. And also, why are we doing weekly? Like, if we really think about it, the first reason we did weekly is because we had so many ideas, we had had so much to give. We were so excited. We were like a little puppy. But now it's kind of turned into oh fuck, we have to do like a weekly episode and you can see the intention change.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the episodes are just feeling a little bit more or less aligned, probably. Yeah, it's just, it's been trickier and there's been sort of things brought up to the table where I want to do it but lorinda doesn't, or vice versa tends to be because lorinda doesn't, but it's fine everybody it's fine.
Speaker 2:It's fine, I'm I'm okay with it. But, yeah, at what point are we just doing something for the sake of doing it, rather than going? Actually, we didn't start off making it perfect. We didn't start off exploring it and like and researching it. We just fumbled our way through and we made it work, like I'm super fucking proud of what we've created, true, and we made it work. Like I'm super fucking proud of what we've created. And, like you said, we've got to spend, you know, a bunch of time together over the last year getting to know each other better, having these really cool conversations where we've only met once for about 10 fucking minutes and like I've loved every second of that. But now I feel like we're kind of like okay, we've done the messy, chaotic, let's just do it, let's fuck around and find out situation. It's been fun and we have stayed consistent with it and we've built something that we really like. Now let's strip it back a little bit and build it into something that we fucking love.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, and I totally agree and I think it's and we were talking about this before our personalities and this is has got us really really well in our business is we don't really have a plan 90% of the time you know, I definitely am not one of those people where I'm like let me show you and like I'm getting much better at it now.
Speaker 1:But at the start I didn't have KPIs, I didn't have a 12-month plan, I didn't know. I kind of like dreamed of approach. I'm one of those people I dream of approach and next minute it's fucking launched right. So for us it's kind of like okay, well, maybe we try something different.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe we could plan a little bit better.
Speaker 1:And we do have space and we do have security and obviously, when you're starting out in business and when you're starting out and really anything, you it's honestly just fuck around and find out. Yeah, even when you run a program for the first time, it's kind of like, well, that didn't work or this worked. Something that works really well for us is sometimes just pressing record and having an idea and having an intent, like an intention, or having questions, like I know we um, some of our favorite episodes have been because we have planned them yeah, I agree yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:So our big announcement is we're moving to fortnightly and that feels there's a lot of duality for me in my body. It's kind of like I feel good because I know it's the right thing to do. There's not one part of me that doesn't believe it's the right thing to do. The other part of me is like but I really want to just give a little more.
Speaker 2:and this is that this is those situations as well, where you can't always trust what your brain is telling you, because our brains are telling us. I very much agree. The thought of going to fortnightly makes me it's like a sigh, it's like, oh okay, okay, we can breathe a little bit here. But then there's also that we said we were going to do it weekly and you know, yeah, we want to give the value and we want to give. And like, what does stripping it back mean about us? Does that mean that we're not giving as much?
Speaker 2:But we know, logically, that it means that we're going to be able to give more, and that is simply our nervous systems still working through those chaos patterns, and that we have to give, give, give, give, give. Before we can receive, and in order to be worthy and in order to be enough, it means that we have to give as much as we possibly can. And and it's helpful to be able to spot that stuff, because then we can challenge our own thoughts and say, actually, I'm going to choose to let that one flow by, because it's not true, it's part of me balking at the thought of what will people think I'm like. They'll probably think it's a great idea. And they'll probably be like, yeah, fully agree, go, you Love that. Yeah, great idea.
Speaker 1:and they'll probably be like, yeah, fully agree, go, you love that, yeah, yeah. And I think it's even funny, like we mentioned earlier that like giving is not always in a physical way, right, and we were. I was having a laugh because, um, our mentor who's now my boss, I don't know, I never know how to explain that Anyway, she asked me to run her through an embodiment and I was like, oh yeah, cool, like I, like it was so funny. My message was like, yeah, of course, and my whole body was like, oh my God, but I did it and I was. I knew when I'd go in there I'd be totally fine. And she's doing this embodiment and I'm going to be honest, I maybe said fucking six sentences, because in coaching spaces it's not always about, like, you saying the right thing or you doing it.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it's actually just about holding the frame and holding the presence, and that's where a lot of people actually suck at, like you just want to help them. Your little saver comes out. But for her and what she needed, she just needed somebody to hold the frame and hold the space and obviously, like if she was to be frozen or anything, just guide her out of that. But she's very, very experienced in this work and so I said maybe six sentences and it wasn't. It was a moment where I'm like, oh, did I? It wasn't, did I give enough? It's like, okay, me being here, me having the presence of being here, is actually more than enough.
Speaker 1:And like this is something that I've been navigating in my relationship because we have a very like stereotypical dynamic at the moment. He's doing really really fucking well in his career. My business is stable, he makes more money than I do, so it means for me I like to contribute in other ways and also I run the house. He has no idea what happens. Half the time he asks me what we're doing for tomorrow and I'm like it's on the calendar and he's like, oh, I didn't know. Yeah, I know right but, it's yeah.
Speaker 1:So it's that very stereotypical. But I'm like okay, well, how am I contributing to the household? And he's just like you being here is more than enough, right? He said that to me last night and I'm like but how do I actually contribute? And he's just like you being here is more than enough, right? He said that to me last night and I'm like but how do I actually contribute? And he's just like. I feel like he contribute more than I do, even though he's the one who runs the finances.
Speaker 1:And I'm like this is so boy I know right who said you can't make a dog new tricks, I know, but it was just interesting, like how just my presence he's just like that's more than enough. And so, like, sometimes we get so caught up in of like let me show you the in giant to-do list that I did today. And because I did 25 things, that makes me a really fucking great person. But sometimes, when you do the 25 things, what did you do, like, what did you miss out on? Well, you missed out on making those jokes with your kids. You missed out on that quality time with your partner. You missed out on, like, getting that phone call from your friend. Start on having 10 minutes to read your book. I mean, if you only read for 10 minutes, I applaud you, because I can't only read for 10 minutes. But it's like, by doing the physical things, what are you actually missing out on right now? And this is where, like, the disconnection to our body happens, right like, I work with a lot of women who are disconnected to their body.
Speaker 1:This is why I do a lot of embodiment work and it's because, but I'm doing all of these things and I'm like, but I need you to not do and just be with yourself, which is really funny and a little hypocritical sometimes and don't get me wrong, I see that. I fucking see that that's why I work with these women. But for us it's kind of like, okay, well, we don't get paid to do this. Yeah, we take time out of our schedule to give something. But sometimes it's just like, okay, well, sometimes we just need to be here and we don't need to be here once a week.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd agree.
Speaker 1:So that's a very long, tangent reason why we're going to fortnightly and we've said that a few times but it's because it's something that we have had to fortnightly and we've said that a few times, but it's because it's something that we have had to to really grapple with and to really think about and to talk about it and then avoid it for like a month oh yeah, I good, two months ago I reckon, and I was like, oh yeah, maybe, and then we just didn't talk about it again, cause I was like I hate that idea.
Speaker 2:It's so funny, cause I knew she hated that idea. It's not always you that hates it.
Speaker 1:It was so funny Cause when I sent it I was just like, do I send it? Do I send it, Do I send it, I'm just going to send it. And then you said it I'm like she hates it. And then we just left it.
Speaker 2:Sometimes it just needs to percolate a little bit, we just need to think about it. But yeah, I feel like a theme for both of us this year has really been unlearning a lot of that sort of stuff around, like our businesses and motherhood and our relationships and kind of really like. For me, this year is really about aligning what's important and, as much as I love you guys with all of my heart, my kids are always going to be my number one and we just really like we're both putting a lot of systems in place, looking at things, refining things, organizing things to give us some time back to make things, to make everything run better, to make it run better for the podcast, for ourselves, for our families, for our clients, for our businesses, and just getting really fucking radically honest with ourselves about what we're doing that we don't actually have to be doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I feel like we are people who tell people yeah, I want you to live your life the way that you want to, not the way you think you should. And we definitely fall into like and I'm going to speak for myself, but I definitely fall into the trap of like I should run my business like this, I run it like this, I should do this, I should do this. And then this year I'm like I don't really want to. I just put this moment where I'm like why am I running my business like this? Yeah, because one I start to resent it and then I get less work done and also like for me, my stepdaughters are in that next stage of life. So I've got one who's already 18 and one who is in year 11. And I think to myself holy fuck, I'm not going to be raising like three kids anymore, like my 18 year old, because of things that have happened. She's still around and but she's an adult. I can go to the pub with her.
Speaker 1:That's weird to me and I just think to myself I don't want to miss out on this time. I don't want to miss out on, you know, the last few years of my middle child being in school. I don't want to miss out on this time. I don't want to look back and be like man I wish I worked less. Yeah, yeah and so. And then I'm like I don't get a lot of time with my partner at the moment. He's crazy in his career and I'm like so when he is home. I don't want to be working and also like a lot of the shit that I do I could probably do in 10 minutes. Yeah, that's my biggest thing as well. I'm just so for me. I'm like always telling people why don't you live life the way you want to? And then I'm like well, what do I actually want for myself? I don't want to be to be honest with you. I don't really want to work five days a week yeah.
Speaker 1:I really love working, but I would rather color down. It's why it's part of the reason that I no longer have a membership. I got rid of my membership because I'm like, well, I'm actually spreading myself way too thin. There is other amazing coaches out there who have really great membership offerings as well. My power is in one-to-ones and retreats and I love my work in the certification. Why am I working? Why am I pushing for more, when what I actually want isn't more money? I mean, that's always nice, but it's more time with my kids. My love language is quality time, and so it means that for the podcast, when I'm on it, I want it to be quality.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, 100%, 100%, yeah. I think for me it's. It really is about something that I'm constantly telling my clients, especially when they're in seasons where it's really busy, is like what could you be letting go of that? You're telling yourself you have to do that you don't actually have to do. And that's where I've been getting really honest with myself this year and going like, especially with, even with things like content like I've gone bonkers over on TikTok and I'm actually really enjoying being over there Like there's still people who make silly comments and things, but like I really I enjoy that platform. I find it less polished, I find it less hard, I just like it there.
Speaker 2:Instagram is feeling really difficult for me at the moment and I'm sitting there going like, oh, I should be posting more, I should be posting more and I'm like I've got a full stable of one-to-ones at the moment. Why? Simply because I love educating and I love helping and all of the things, but it's not 100% necessary to be doing that all the time. Same as the podcast. I would much rather be putting out an episode once a fortnight that we've really thought about and that we've really put. You know, yeah, a lot of thought and a lot of intention into rather than and like don't get me wrong, there still probably will be episodes where we're like let's just hit record and see what fucking happens, because it's fun.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and we want to talk about our experiences sometimes, rather than having full-blown, step-by-step, dot-point educational things. But we just want to be able to take the space to work out what feels good and I don't want to wait until, like, although we sort of say you know that we've been scrambling a little bit and all of the things like this space still feels good for me and I don't want it to get to a point where it doesn't and where we hate it and where it's like, oh fuck, it's monday, like we've got to do fucking podcasting again, like it's like that, that sucks, and I've seen that happen so many times with things that I started out really loving and end up burning it to the ground because I'm just like man bored next. So, yeah, that's where we're at. If you've listened to our entire ramble, we love you and appreciate you as always and, if you didn't know, we're moving to fortnightly.
Speaker 1:Yeah, if you missed that bulletin board.
Speaker 2:We'll probably call the episode in case you missed it, but thank you for joining us and we will see you in a fortnight. Bye, thank you so much for joining us. We've absolutely loved being here with you today.
Speaker 1:And if you have enjoyed today's episode as much as we have enjoyed recording it, please leave a review or drop into our DMs. We would love to hear from you.