Does Manifestation Have Its Limits? With Laura Grady

Trigger Warning: HG Pregnancy

The moment “just think positive” meets real pain, the whole personal development world gets tested. Today I’m joined by Laura Grady, a manifestation and mindset coach who’s equal parts grounded and honest, and we go straight into the messy truth of what mindset work looks like when your body is in survival mode.

Laura shares her story with fertility struggles and complex health issues including endometriosis and PCOS, plus the emotional whiplash of miscarriage and the pressure people feel to “stay high vibe”. We talk about why the idea that you attract everything can turn into shame fast, and why a healthier approach is controlling the controllables while dropping the self-blame. If you’ve ever wondered where manifestation fits when life feels unfair, this conversation names the limits without throwing the whole concept away.

We also unpack Laura’s second pregnancy, where hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) becomes relentless and is complicated by severe POTS symptoms and serious heart concerns. She walks us through hospital visits, drips, weight loss, medications, and the fear of what might happen next, all while parenting a toddler and relying on family support. It’s raw, practical, and deeply human.

Finally, we bring it back to what actually helps: shadow work, emotional regulation, feeling safe in your body, and changing identity and subconscious patterns rather than chasing a shiny method. If you’re ready for grounded manifestation, mindset coaching insights, and a compassionate reality check, hit play then share the episode, subscribe, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.

Find Laura:

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lauragradyy/

Tik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@lauramanifestation

Reach out to us on Instagram!
Steph is here and Lurinda is here.

Transcript

Welcome To The Shadow Diaries

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the Shadow Diaries. This isn't a Deer Diary, it's a dear shadow.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

Here we are pulling the curtain back to the good, the bad, and the ugly to bring light to those deep inner thoughts and feelings you keep on having but are too ashamed to admit to. To provide a safe space and get radically honest about what's holding you back and what shadow work really is.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

This isn't surface level. It dives deep into your soul to meet it with acceptance and compassion. There is no need to hide. All is welcome. This can be a space where you learn and receive real women, real stories, real shadows.

Meet Laura Grady

SPEAKER_02 0:34

This is the Shadow Diaries, and your story starts now. Welcome back to the Shadow Diaries podcast. And today I am joined by a special guest. We have got Laura Grady with us today. Say hi to everyone, Laura.

SPEAKER_04 0:52

Hi everyone.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

Laura is a manifestation. Do you call yourself a coach?

SPEAKER_04 1:00

Yeah, manifestation and mindset coach. I think that's the easiest title to write.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

It's difficult to explain things like that, isn't it? I feel like I need like a full sentence or a paragraph. So Laura does manifesting mindset, and she is very like a lot of the manifesting coaches or people that I've come across are very, you know, you have to be in your energy and you have to be in your flow and you have to be in gratitude and all of the things. But I love the way that Laura does it because it's very rational, very logical, it's very grounded in like science and things like that. It's very realistic. It's not the whole you're attracting absolutely every single thing that happens to you, and you just need to like raise your vibes. Like, what does that even fucking mean? Like, how do I raise a vibe? How does one raise their vibe? Um, but Laura recently welcomed her second beautiful baby girl. And during that pregnancy, she was suffering with HG and a toddler. So Laura's gonna chat to us today about her experience. She's gonna tell her story through that, but we're also going to talk about some of the myths around manifestation and how she coped, as somebody who has a very strong, resilient mindset and who does believe in manifestation, how she then coped with such a shit experience.

SPEAKER_04 2:26

That's what that's the perfect way to put it.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

So, Laura, if you want to introduce yourself a little bit more fully, tell everybody who you are, what you do, and then you can launch in.

A Rational Take On Manifestation

SPEAKER_04 2:37

Sounds good. Well, thank you so much for having me here. Obviously, huge admirer always. Love your content, love everything that you do. Um, and we have a lot of really similar views on pretty much everything, which is great. We have create our own little echo chamber here today. Um, but I my name is Laura. I um yeah, a mindset manifestation coach. I've been in this industry since I think I started in like 2017, um, which is crazy to me. I have worked in lots of different kinds of spaces, trained in lots of different areas. I have my bachelor's in psychological science, um, I've done hypnosis, I've done all your typical coaching, you know, containers of uh coaching certifications or what have you, embodiment. Um, I also did, I had a couple of years where I trained as a psychic medium. I've done just about everything in the industry that you could possibly do. And um, you'd think that it would leave me with more answers than anything, but it's just left me with more questions, which I kind of love. Um, so I got in this, got into this space, and over the last couple of years, I've I've always really loved, you know, the power of this work, the power of coaching and how much it can help you really shift your mindset, really change how you see the world, how you interact with the world. Um, but recently have really deepened into figuring out how to bring manifestation into the world for people who have outgrown the surface level version of it. Because there is so much surface level bullshit in the space, there's so much spiritual spiritual bypassing, there is so much shit that just makes people feel awful about themselves when they're doing it and interacting with it. And I want it to weave into your life in a way where I put the woo in science and the science in the woo and make the two worlds mesh so that you can feel really fulfilled and achieve your goals so much faster without feeling like you're constantly hitting an invisible wall.

SPEAKER_00 4:35

Love that. Love that.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Before we get into a story quickly, I just want to ask, and this is probably gonna be a little bit scattered because you know that's how my brain works. Um I love that. Why did you choose, after doing your Bachelor of Psychological Science, why did you choose to not pursue like clinical psychology? And well, I know it's not clinical psychology, like there's more involved, obviously. But why did you choose to not pursue that route? Obviously, you believe in tertiary education and you believe in all of that sort of thing. So what made you go to coaching?

SPEAKER_04 5:09

Um, well, I had a pretty, pretty tainted view early, early, early days um around all of this. So I went to university straight out of school and went to study arts, but it was majoring in psychology. Then I came out of that, went and did business at uni, didn't like that, found coaching throughout that, and then uh from that place went, why don't people know about this? And I'd had some pretty not just not great experiences with psychologists, if I'm totally honest with you. So I for a while there, and I regret this, but it was part of my journey. I I had a bad relationship with the idea of it. I had, you know, a psychologist accidentally, this is not their fault, just broke my trust and and it made my life a lot harder for a considerable number of years, not by their intention, just and I can't really go into much detail around that, but just possibly didn't see all the pieces that were playing out, and I felt like I wasn't getting much out of it. And I found coaching and it was really beautiful. And sometimes, I know I was speaking to Caitlin about this, which is a good friend of ours. I think in some ways, coaching when it was when I first got into it, it was very love and light, shiny objects. Oh my god, this is incredible. And that and it was a way for me to bypass some of the stuff that was going on in the early days, if I'm totally frank and totally honest. And so I loved that element of it, got really heavily involved in it, and just continued to learn more, went back to uni and then finished my degree as I was doing it. But I don't love the idea of becoming a clinical psychologist because I want to work with a really specific kind of person. That sounds bad, but it is a really specific kind of person. I love the woo-woo. I love psychologists. My brother is a psychologist, so like I have the utmost respect in the world for them. I think that they're incredible and they're working with a lot of mental illness, and I want to work in wellness. So it is just a different, you know. If I wanted to do that, I'm I'm sure that, you know, I'm pretty, I'm pretty headstrong and I'll I'd make it happen. But it's just not the area of my life. It's just not an area that or an avenue that I've ever really wanted to go down.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

I love that. I think it's it's an important conversation and one that we've had multiple times. Um, yeah. Like with Lorenda and I have spoken about this at length kind of thing, around different people just need different things, right? Like I've definitely found for talk therapy for a lot of people, they'll be in talk therapy for years and years, and all it really does is give them fancy language to explain why they're stuck. And it's, you know, it doesn't actually shift them at all. Whereas like the semantics and the, you know, the coaching and things like that is what has kind of moved them out of that stuck.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Um absolutely for the right person.

Fertility Struggles And Manifestation Myths

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Yeah, exactly. And talk therapy is beautiful for a lot of people, like it's it works so so well for so many people. And I have, again, so much respect for it. I think that there's room for all of it. Umway. So obviously, you're on this manifestation journey. You'd already had one little girl. Did you have HG with her?

SPEAKER_03 8:09

Oh, yeah. I was okay, cool.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Yeah, okay, cool. So you knew kind of like what you were potentially getting into having this back on one.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

Everyone in my life was like, you'll be fine, it won't be as bad. I can't, no one here knows the journey yet. It was so fucked up. I don't know how, like, thank God we live in Australia. That's all I can say, truly. Like, I don't think I don't know if I'd be here. Like, it was so bad. It was horrific.

SPEAKER_02 8:41

Yeah. So, do you want to tell us? I would love to hear a little bit about um let's let's start from the start. Like, what was your view on manifesting from when you got into it in 2017? And then talk us through your first pregnancy and then your second pregnancy and where you're at now. So, like, talk us through the whole thing.

SPEAKER_04 9:01

Okay, so um the I never put manifestation surrounding fertility at all. I never even put it in the same bracket, and I don't know why. I think that I just I had a lot of fertility um struggles. I had stage four endometriosis, I've had two laparoscopies, uh, PCOS, I've had a lot of, I mean, you know, the body keeps the score when we go through a lot in life, doesn't it? So my body well and truly kept the fucking score, I can tell you that much. And so I had, you know, some autoimmune stuff that was going on, and I'd really struggled to fall pregnant. And I think when I first got into uh manifestation, I was like, wow, you create your own reality. And then I started to take tons of responsibility for everything that was going on in my life, which was really helpful in certain areas, and it's like a double-edged sword. Helpful in one area, really detrimental and horrific in another area. And so I remember um when I yet felt uh was trying to fall pregnant, we'd suffered, we we dealt with some, we I'd had a miscarriage, lots of like infertility struggles. We'd booked in to do IVF and found out that I was pregnant from other interventions. I was so sick with Pia, my first child. Um, yes, basically straight off the bat was, you know, vomiting 10, 20, 30 times a day. Uh, and throughout that, again, I just didn't even put those two things in the same category. I think I held a lot of shame around struggling to fall pregnant and having so many health issues, and was like, how is this related? How does this relate to the beliefs around manifestation? And I think back then I had the knowledge and the wherewithal, but I never said it public, publicly. Like I was like, I know that you know, manifestation at its core is a theory, but it can't explain everything. And like any theory, it's flawed, it has its holes, and it's great when you have goals that you want to achieve and you want to change your life and you want to feel really lit up and aligned in that, but also when you're in survival mode, raising your vibration ain't it, that's just not, it's not the thing to do. So it's again, it's a theory, it works well at a specific time for a specific person, but it can't across everything. And that would be ne naive to expect that it did, because if we say you attract all things, so I attracted miscarriage, I attracted um, you know, fertility struggles, I attracted uh HG pregnancy, um, multiple HG pregnancies. If we were to say that I attracted all of that, then we're also saying that people who are in wars attracted their circumstances, and that's clearly not fucking true. Yeah. Like, even if it is, here's the thing, right? I've done a lot of work with the spiritual stuff, and I have read tons of books. I have uh linked let let um myself immerse myself into lots of different theories. You know, I've oh man, I've gone done meditation retreats with monks, like I've done all sorts of crazy stuff, right? And when there's certain there are there are theories to support the idea that we do choose what we come into. There's spiritual theories, this is not a scientific theory. There are theories around that that we do choose certain things to experience in life because we have to learn lessons, la la la. Even if that's true, not helpful. When you're in survival mode, unhelpful. It might be helpful when you're reflecting back, but right now, is it helpful? Probably not. And so I think that yeah, kind of getting into um the like trying to figure out how my beliefs all warped into it was like, okay, you can have beliefs that work really well in certain areas and certain stages of your life, but it doesn't necessarily work for everything, and that's okay. Yeah, I'm not gonna make myself wrong for that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

Um I think that that would be very comforting to people who are potentially going through things like that, like the fertility strike. And like people say all sorts of whack shit when you are experiencing anything to do with babies, like anything at all, whether it is trying for a baby, whether it's trying for your second, your third, your fourth, whether it's doing IVF, whether it's miscarriage, whether it's still birth, whether it's losing a child. People say so much dumbass shit.

SPEAKER_04 13:10

Oh, I you would know. And I've heard it all. Like I've heard, I've honestly heard it all. I have a beautiful friend of mine, and she's going through a lot of IVF at the moment. And all I ever say to her, and she's like, she knows my job, right? She's um she's known this for years and years, and she's and she's just you know, she'll tell me stuff, and I'm like, that's so unbelievably shit. And it's okay to be upset about that and to process what you can and to, you know, hold the vision that you you you will have a family, but also do not beat yourself up about any of it, do what you need to get through it because personally, I'm pretty relatively grounded human. I have never been more triggered in my life than trying to fall pregnant. Like, I never found anything possibly more difficult apart from last year than that experience of fertility and also all the health stuff, and like just and we you paired the actual the physical symptoms and the stuff that you go through on a hormonal level, and you pair that with shame. How are you meant to get through it if you're then shaming yourself for being in it? Like it's just the reality of where things are at, and there's many theories about why things are like that for people. Who knows? I don't know the answer. I'm not a medical doctor. All I can say is that it is not healthy to shame yourself and to shit on yourself for experiencing something that, yeah, might actually just be out of your control. You can control the controllables and leave the rest. And I think if you take manifestation with that approach and you lean into like I can create my reality, but there are going to be wobbles and waves in my reality that I can't control. But how I speak to myself, how I treat myself will impact what I see and how I interact with the world. If you can lean into that, you'll feel really good about manifestation.

What Surrender Looks Like Practically

SPEAKER_02 14:53

I'd love to know what your take is on the whole, especially around fertility, because I've heard this a lot, is around the whole like surrender and when it's supposed to happen, it'll happen. Or um, like when you stop trying is when it happens.

SPEAKER_04 15:12

Here's the thing, right? I don't like to speak too heavily on topics that I am not an expert in. I'm not an expert in fertility. I know that stress impacts the body a lot. If you're clutching onto something, clutching and you're in a stress state 24-7, and you're like, I need to fall pregnant, which is my experience, it's probably gonna make it harder. No doubt. This is not a conducive environment to host a child.

SPEAKER_05 15:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:40

You're you know, you're at war, even though you're not. Um so yeah, I I I am not, I feel like even having too much of an opinion on it is is naive of me. If I'm totally honest.

SPEAKER_02 15:55

Okay, let me rephrase that question. I mean more so like what your experience was with the whole, like that, that's that wave of thinking, that mindset around like you just need to surrender and it will happen for you. Like, what does that look like in reality? Especially considering you already had that sort of, like you, you run on that wave, right? Like that's a wave that you that you do believe in as a general rule, and that's how you live your life. So then how do you how do you then kind of allow that to happen with something like that that is so uncontrollable and you have just no ability at all to really do regulate about it?

SPEAKER_04 16:38

From what what my experience was at the time was that the way that I could surrender, the only because I felt so stuck in it on my own, the only way I felt I could surrender was having medical support. Because I had tried the natural way, and I and at the time, and interestingly enough, with my second daughter, and I'm also very mindful this will be quite triggering for someone who is going through fertility. Yeah, so it's um please be aware, I I know that, but I did go more down the holistic route the second time round, and my second daughter was a surprise. So, you know, it's uh and because I was working really like I just want to work on my health, and I wasn't even thinking, we wanted to eventually have a second child, wasn't even thinking about it though. So, and I'm not saying that there's anything in that I was working very heavily and very hard on my health and doing everything that I could in my power to be as healthy as I could possibly be to host a child because I don't think that I was in the past. And before P, I don't think that I was, and I think that that really impacted my experience having her normal postpartum was that there was probably things that low-hanging fruit that needed to be worked on that I wasn't aware of because I didn't necessarily have the um knowledge. I didn't I didn't have the support that nor the knowledge around what you could do. So for me, looking like for the my first daughter is like surrender looked like okay, this feels so out of my control. I'm dealing with so much pain, so much discomfort. I don't know physically how to fix this. I need medical support, I need medical intervention. I've tried some holistic, it's not really landed. I want the medical support. And that was my version of surrendering. And it doesn't look like the spiritual version. Like spiritual manifestation people don't look like that. And I've actually I know a lot of people in the field who have gone down the IVF route and they are also spiritual, they also believe in manifestation, and they say the same thing. My version of surrendering was using medical doctors because I needed to take it out of my head and feeling like I was the only one doing this, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Yeah, yeah. And I think like that's kind of that's the answer that I was kind of that I thought you'd kind of come out with or in in that route, in the terms of the whole like just surrender and blah blah blah. Like sometimes surrendering does look like not looking at that and and doing it the way that you said that you'd never do it, or the way that you didn't want to do it necessarily, where it's like, you know, I would love to do this naturally, but it's just not happening. And even in terms of when you fell pregnant with your second baby, um like you weren't trying and it was like, okay, I'm just focusing on again what I can control. I know that my body is not necessarily the best space to be welcoming a child into right now. So I'm just gonna focus on that side of things, and that is within your control. Yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_04 19:29

Yeah, like we're not really necessarily, and it's not that you were going like, I'm not thinking about having a baby, I'm not thinking about having a baby, I'm not thinking about having a baby, and like a fear lingering, like by the way, guys, my pregnancies are so fucked that like it was always a big fear lingering in the back of my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I knew to get to the desire that I had in my life was like, I want a beautiful family and I want to have a few children with the person that I love the most in the world, which is, you know, my partner. And I knew I had I had to go down that shit roll road again. So I knew that that was potentially coming. And there was always that lingering fear, I can't deny it. But I don't think that that's necessarily done anything because you know, HG is so genetic as well. It's not, you can't really there is a lot that is actually totally out of your control.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

And I think that that's like it's a really interesting point in terms of the whole manifestation thing. And I know that you don't do it in terms of infertility, and this has kind of gone down that route. Um but where, oh my god, now I've lost my train of thought. Oh, where there's like the desire there, right? Is oh, I want to have a beautiful family. I want to have, you know, like two, three, four kids, however many kids it is. And there's the resistance of knowing what you're gonna have to go through in order to get that. So it's like there is your body and your subconscious is holding on to like that looks like a death threat. That's how it's terrible. Yeah, like so it's it there is that resistance there, and I think when we're not accepting of that resistance and we're not sitting there going, like, oh no, no, it'll be fine, it'll be fine, like I'm not worried about it. Like, I know I'll be fine, I know I'll get through it. Okay, cool. And the resistance is still in your body for sure.

SPEAKER_04 21:01

Yeah, and it's okay. It's okay. This is the thing with manifestation, you know this because you know me, but like shadow work, the way I manifest, it incorporates shadow work because you can't, it's it is there. You can't deny how you feel to get you to where you want to go. If you learn how to process doubt, if you learn how to process your fears, if you learn how to process the stuff that is rising to the surface, you'll collapse time so much more. Or if it's not collapsing time and making things faster, you'll feel better doing it.

SPEAKER_02 21:32

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_04 21:33

So that's that's the big thing. And manifestation at the end of the day, where I'm just trying to help people live a better life and feel good about it and achieve their goals. Like that's hands down, at the end, I'm not like here being like, let's go be super spiritual and go to fucking Egypt or whatever the really spiritual people do and speak in tongues. That's not my thing. If that's your thing, great, go for it. But that's not necessarily my thing. I just want you to feel really good about your life and feel fulfilled and know that you can do and achieve anything that you want. And to make it easier, especially in the places in life where there's a lot of resistance.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Yeah, I love that. Okay, so you've had your first baby, pregnancy was cooked, but you know, we've got this beautiful baby girl, yay. What happened next?

SPEAKER_04 22:20

I'm like, everyone, so baby number two, fell pregnant with baby number two, and I, you know what? It's everyone, when you fall pregnant, it's all it's all different. But I was like, hmm, I really want to have peanut butter, and I don't have peanut butter unless I'm pregnant. Or like hormonal. Like that's the time that I I don't really, I'm not super into it. Kind of into it now, but not usually, right? And I was like craving peanut butter, had to have peanut butter in the house. And my daughter doesn't have any allergies, so I was like, I need it, I need it, I need it. Like, get me peanut butter, get me toast, I need blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I turned to Jamie and I was like, I think I'm pregnant. And he's like, No, you're not. And I was like, No, I think you're gonna go out and get some pregnancy tests. I think I'm pregnant. No, no, no. You do this. Is this thing? You haven't thought we haven't used protection in the five years we've been together. Why would you be all of a sudden pregnant naturally now? It's not that's not happened. Pretty sure I'm pregnant.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

Sorry, Jamie.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

Just for what I asked. I just like knew. I just felt that. And I was like, no, something feels different. Had the pregnancy test, and then I was like, oh no. And and you know, you'd want to be really excited, but with HG, HG, so like with my first um child, and we don't have our children in daycare, we have a very supportive family, so we're really lucky in that sense. But um, with my first, I was vomiting all the time. I could hardly work. And toward the end, I was I basically got diagnosed with uh POT, but it was incredibly severe. So like I would pass out and I wasn't allowed to drive, and I was like, So we were kind of racing ourselves for like, oh no, this could be really bad because we wanted another child, but this would mean that we would have two under two. So we're very nervous about that. Um, so anyway, we went and immediately told my mother-in-law, who is an angel and a saint, and my mother and father-in-law, and we told my parents, like all in the same day, of like, hey, we've just found out we're pregnant, we're probably like, you know, we're we're in because clear your fucking calendar for the next nine months. Basically, like we're gonna need some help where this might be bad, this might turn really bad. And I was fine initially for the first couple of weeks, and then I started getting really sick, and like it was very different to the first time that I was pregnant. I'm talking, I couldn't like I could look at something and it would make me vomit. Like, and I was on on Danzitron Zophra, like everyone who's done this, like all of the anti nausea was on all of it, and like profusely vomiting. I could not hold anything down. People were coming to, like, my family was coming to pick up my daughter to take her out because I was just like completely not okay. I was really struggling, and we went away on the weekend, and I had had so much medication because I have a beautiful GP. And if you have children, I can't recommend enough. Having a GP that you connect with and click with is like the best thing on the planet. Um, so I remember seeing her, we got I stocked up and we got to go away to see my brother who was living in Ballarat, and I just could not stop throwing up. Like I'm talking, not one meal was staying down. I was like having crackers in the bed. Every time I'd stand up, I'd vomit. Um, we went and did stuff, and I just was feeling really, really depleted. It ended up getting too later on on in a Sunday, and we went home early, and I was like, I've got to go to hospital. Like, I'm really not coping. And it was like I'd had, you know, I was vomiting every single day, all day long, multiple times a day. And you just get to a point where it's like, this is gonna get really bad really soon. I need to go and get some help. So I went to hospital, and then from then on, I probably was in hospital getting drips. Uh, we went to it, there was a GP clinic, or I'd be in hospital two, three times a week because I was so dehydrated. Um, and I was getting my HG managed by a clinic in Victoria, which was incredible, who specifically work around HG because I found out that that was an option. And I went in one day and I they were weighing me every week, which also lovely that lovely, but I started losing three kilos a week. Um, yeah, I couldn't hold anything down. Like when I say I was getting skinny, and I'm not a skinny gal, like I was getting tiny, and um like I remember one of our friends, he came and dropped us off food, which I couldn't eat because I couldn't eat anything, but he came and dropped us off food, and he was like, You look, you don't look okay. I do you need me to take you somewhere you look really ill? And I was like, I'm okay. Struggling. Um, and then they put me onto steroids because I was losing so much weight that it like were worried about my muscles deteriorating, lost heaps of weight, went on steroids. Then within two weeks, um, I was able to eat again, but then I had heart, my heart started going crazy and I was having lots of heart problems. And I was like to the point of I couldn't get down the walls with like the I was holding onto the walls of the hallway, trying to walk down the hallway because I was like this just couldn't breathe. It was terrifying. And I remember just being like, Oh, it's okay, because I was so sick that I was just in bed all the time, and you don't see yourself clearly when you're this level of ill. Um, and so I was in bed and then I'd had gone to the clinic again, and I was like drenched in sweat, walking to the front door of the clinic, and they were like, Go to emergency. You're this is really bad. We don't, we don't know what to help. We don't know what to do. You're really bad. So I went to emergency and then I was in hospital for five or six days. I had no idea what was wrong. They were worried that I was going to heart failure. I didn't go into heart failure, thank God. Um, but this was all the consideration. The conversation was we don't think that we we're we're really worried about you continuing this pregnancy, you're really ill. So there's conversations around that before they figured out what it was, and it actually just was like pots, but really severe. So a really severe version of POT, um, which is postural orthostatic. Oh, now I've forgotten how to do the next. Basically, like my heart rate would go really, really high, drop really, really low, really, really quickly, blood, blood pressure would drop, and then I'd pass out and fancy. So that was all happening. Um, I had they found medication for me. It like took the edges off, still vomiting all the time. And the problem with with this was like you're vomiting all the time, you're super dehydrated. You're already passing out because of the heart stuff going on, both of them made each other worse. So, like, truly could not, uh, I just couldn't do much. And the directive was uh you can't walk around the home unless you're supervised. Don't walk around the block at all, don't go for any walks unless you're supervised, you're no longer allowed to drive. I was 11 weeks pregnant when I was. So yeah, it hadn't been like we hadn't told anybody, no, like it was very hush hush and yeah, was no longer allowed to walk. Um, I had I couldn't shower, so we got a disability seat for me to shower with because I would that was where I would pass out a lot. Um and like Andre, sounds so bad. But I'm good at passing out in the sense of I can feel it when it's just about to happen. Yeah, yeah. And then I would just slowly go down. And anyway, just um started getting worse and worse. Uh and yeah, I was super sick. Started working with a cardiologist to kind of figure out what's going on. I was still getting monitored the whole way throughout my pregnancy for heart failure. That was the concern was that I was going to go into heart failure because of the stress my body was under. Needed hospital in the home, who was doing drips a couple of times a week. I was in hospital maybe two to three times a week, plus all the drips. Uh, and I could not function. It was horrible. Like, honestly, and I this is how I liken people. Imagine, I don't know if you did you have a party heart I can check.

SPEAKER_02 30:32

Listen, yes.

SPEAKER_04 30:35

Anyone who's here is like if their mothers are like, oh yeah, I know I remember. Sorry, no. So think about the worst hangover you've ever had in your life. Like, truly the worst vomiting non-stop from day to night. You cannot stop. That plus the worst anxiety you've ever had. Your heart's not right, like, and I wasn't even thinking that there was something wrong. My heart was just doing it. I could be, and I was trying, I was doing breath work, I was doing meditation, no matter what I fucking did. It was just there all the time. Anytime I moved, I just I was at risk of passing out. So I was dealing with this the entire pregnancy and went completely offline and basically went into a shell and didn't talk to pretty much. I mean, I talked to like my you know, my close friends, but I could I wasn't functioning. Um I wasn't a functioning adult from 11 weeks until I had my daughter and then came out of that, and within a day, everything was gone.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

God, like the relief.

Severe POTS And Constant Monitoring

SPEAKER_04 31:37

The relief you must have felt after that of just it was like the worst. It was the worst. And also because you're on watch for heart failure at all times. Like you're on watch for heart failure, on watch for my body was so fragile that it anything could have done something like could have set me off, like we were worried about me even getting a cold a cold, sent me into hospital. Like I couldn't, when I say it was so scary, it was so scary, and I'm just like hats off to anyone dealing with massive chronic illness that kind of debilitates you all the time because I only dealt with nine months of it and I was disabled, and I, you know, like it was just horrific.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

And how I've got I've got more questions about the manifestation thing that I do want to ask as well. How did you cope with already having a toddler? Because how old was Pia when he fell pregnant?

SPEAKER_03 32:31

Oh, well, they're 22, 22, 21 months apart. Yeah, so you were like, Yeah, she was like just over one.

SPEAKER_02 32:39

Yeah, right. So, how did you cope with having like, you know, these kids that you'd always wanted and all of the things, and it's like, you know, yeah, we really wanted her to have like a brother or sister or whatever. How did you cope with having a one-year-old that you effectively could not parent? Oh, it killed me. It was horrible. Because I know so many mums are in that whole, you know, in that whole like mindset or identity or whatever you want to call it of my child needs me to survive. They would not survive without me. Like it has to be me. And then all of a sudden you are like you can barely even survive. You're pretty much bedridden for however long, for yeah, eight months while you were pregnant. How did you cope with that mentally?

SPEAKER_04 33:24

Mentally, I mean, it it was it broke my heart. Like there's no it was just it was just absolutely heart-wrenching, it was devastating. And I, you know, my partner, he's amazing, and he um really stepped up and basically just took over and did everything that he could. And she would spend time with me, like we would, you know, be in bed together and play in bed together. Or I she'd be out all day with someone, one of our family members who she loved and adored, and then at the end of the day, like I would muster all the strength that I had to have two hours before she went to bed, and I would be like laying on the floor in the living room. It's so tragic. And then I'd be playing with her for that two hours, and then she would go go down to bed and I would crash until that you know, four o'clock the next day again. So that's kind of how I survived it. Was I I honestly I don't think I if I had the second pregnancy, if I had that the first time around, I never would have done it again. Yeah. And that's the honest truth. Like I it was so horrible. And I I I feel like the thing that did get me through, which it it was one, knowing that there was an end point and I wasn't gonna be in this forever, but two, um, my daughter, you know. So being able to be around her, it really did take okay, I'm out of this. And also I read a lot of fantasy books, not gonna lie. Healthy escapism. I needed a bit of healthy escapism. And when stuff came up, I spoke about it. Like I was very honest with people. I told everyone I'm really like I'm not coping, I'm not doing too well. Um, but I was quite numb because how I'll see you meant to kind of get through it. You can't process it's hard to process something as harrowing as that whilst you're right in the middle of it. Yeah. So you can do it to a certain extent, but you can't really.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

And I think that that's another important point because so many people are like, no, I must process this in the moment. I have to feel everything that I'm going through. And it's like sometimes you do not have the space when you are in literal survival, like that. Like that was literal helpful. But your body doesn't know the difference between literal and figuratively, like it just believes whatever you tell it. So you cannot sit there and process your emotions about how you feel, you know, about any of it, not the physical, the emotional, the mental, like any of it. In those moments, it's kind of like you've just got to hang on for the ride and trust that you will get to it when you can.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_04 35:59

And it's still like there's still moments where it pops up, you know. Totally. It's like it's going, I know it's going to, like it's going to continue to come up in little bursts, and that's when I get to process it because that's I'm human.

SPEAKER_05 36:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 36:13

Like you you go through something big, and everyone has. I was saying this to a friend, I'm like, this was my mountain, and I'm hoping that I don't have too many more. But we all have mountains and we've all and they're really tough to get through, and you just have to keep going. And I hate to say it, but what you do, I did have those moments where I broke down in the shower and I'd be crying, or I'd be breaking down to somebody and absolutely, you know, upset and just crying and letting myself feel it, and journaling a little bit here and there. But honestly, doing any kind of proper internal work was not that was not the season for it. Because there's not like you just can't see anything clearly because you're just so physically ill.

SPEAKER_02 36:51

Yeah. It's yeah, it's just it's really getting through each moment. And if it if the dam bursts, or if you volcano as I like to call it, with your emotion and if it's been too much, then that's what comes out. But anything extra is just Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:05

I think the what made it easier was not shaming myself for feeling how I was feeling. Like that's one of the biggest things. If you're going through something big, that's not the time to go, oh, I need to be better and see things differently. And that oftentimes it's not the time. It's you've just got to let yourself go through it and to be supported when you need to be supported.

Parenting A Toddler While Bedridden

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Yeah, absolutely. Like I've got I've got a lot of clients who like obviously nothing like what you're going through, but are going through like tricky times and they sort of say, you know, when is this gonna get better? And I'm like, when it's over. Yeah. When it's over, unfortunately, sometimes it's a bear hunt. Can't go over it, can't go under it. It sucks. Yeah, it's it does, it sucks so bad. And I'm like, yeah, I I wish I could tell you something else, but I'm not gonna lie to you. You know, when you're going through something like that, it's just gonna suck for a while, and you will get past it, and you may be able to find the silver lining and all of the things for you. It was your beautiful second daughter, and now Pia's got a little sister, which is I'm sure absolutely beautiful for you to watch. And it's like gorgeous, and it fucking sucks that you had to go through that in order to get your two beautiful girls, and like it there's no there's no way around that.

SPEAKER_04 38:12

Yeah, two things can be true. It can like it just yeah, so with the the manifestation side of things, it wasn't it just wasn't something that I really lent into. Um, and that's why, you know, I when I market it and I talk about it nowadays, it is the science piece of it. You have to feel safe in your body, which I know that you are a big, big advocate for, because if you're going to go after big things, your mind's gonna get really, really loud. There's gonna be a lot of stuff that's gonna come up. And so it is more than going into the surface level stuff because we just can't do that. Yeah, you just can't be surface level. Like if you want to support lots of different people, not just the people who have all the day and all the hours in the day and all the time in the world to kind of implement this and to be really mindful about who they allow themselves to spend time with, you know, you're just not gonna be really speaking to me. People. So I want to make manifestation, the idea of it more accessible by deepening it, by by allowing people to see that you can't like a lot of this is also teaching you how to feel safe in yourself, how to process your emotions, how to process your doubt, how to process your fears, and how to take action in a way that works and supports you so that you're not at war with yourself. Because being at war with yourself is horrible.

SPEAKER_02 39:28

Yeah, absolutely. I think as well, the whole, like, you know, you obviously do the mindset side of things, people don't understand, like, you know, we talk about resilient mindsets and all the things, it's very, very important, but you can't change your mind while you're in that fight or flight. Like it just doesn't work. Like you can't change your like your mind doing the mindset stuff is kind of like the first layer, right? And then you've got all the subconscious and the body stuff underneath it. And it's like, if you haven't dealt with all of that or have a good understanding of how to process your emotions, how to like have that mind-body connection going and work with the subconscious. Yeah, to understand what's going on with the patterns, like it's just you're you're you can sit here and listen to fucking Tony Robbins banging on at you about how you can change your life and yada yada yada, and you'll go, yeah, that's awesome. And then you'll go home and do the exact same fucking thing.

SPEAKER_04 40:16

Absolutely. And that's the thing with my stuff. That's why, you know, in the in the same breath, is it's we when I work with a client, I'm look- I'm looking at someone who's like, okay, I have all of these goals and I can't really get there. Like, I I am really struggling to get there. I'm struggling to take action, or I'm taking action, and it's like I'm doing it, then I'm starting, I'm stopping, I'm feeling really wobbly and wonky. And I know I can do this thing, but I just feel really blocked. And I'm like, there's reasons. So let's go into it. Like, let's let's look at the reasons why so that you get there so much faster. And that's not gonna be from a process, mastering a process. Like you see, these like three, two, one processes and mastering um, what is it, law of assumption and mastering all of these things. What that's just such light-level stuff. It's like you're not mastering a process, you have to master yourself to master manifestation. Yeah. You've got to master your subconscious, you've got to master how you see yourself, you've got to master how you how you interact with your world. And if you change your beliefs and you change the stories that you've held about yourself and you change your identity, the way that you see the world completely changes. So it's I liken it to you're wearing a pair of glasses and you're changing out the lenses. And if you have a goal to get to the beach, and the beach signifies, you know, your relationship or the um the business or the beautiful family or the career taking off, whatever it signifies for you. If you're wearing glasses that are the wrong prescription to get you there, good fucking luck. Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's not like you can't go, like you can have all the willpower. You can be driving a horsepower car, but if you can't see, you can't see. Yeah. So my job is to help you change your lenses so that it's just so much faster to get you to where you want to go and you feel better about it because it's there's nothing more overwhelming than having a goal, and you are like fighting yourself, trying to do it and trying to get there, and then making the decision that it's not for you. And I'm like, no, it doesn't mean that's not for you, it just means that there's a lot of resistance. My job's to help you shift the resistance, not to tell you like attracts like, babe. Yeah, that's fucking insane. It's the most light level bullshit I've ever heard. Yeah. Like, yes, to a certain extent, that does apply, but it's also how you what you believe to be true and how you see the world, that's impacting your ability to get there. Yeah. Not a method. Yeah.

Shadow Work Over Spiritual Bypassing

SPEAKER_02 42:32

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And it's it's it's all of those things. And that's why I love you so much. Because I love the way that you explain this. It really scratches an itch in my very logical intellectual thinking mind. Like, I obviously love the body and the semantic stuff, but like I'll be honest, it did not come naturally to me. Like, none of that came naturally to me. And I think that's why I love what I do now so much, because I work with those women who are like, nah, this just doesn't work. And I'm like, yes, it fucking does. And you're very similar, I think, where it's like, you know, people who have been stung by the woo-woo manifestation, like rise your rapes your vibes, you know, just do like this one breath work or this one thing, and it's gonna completely change your life. And you're like, uh no, no, you can't just write up. Yeah, you can't just write fucking affirmations and put them up on your wall and then expect, you know.

SPEAKER_04 43:23

If that worked, that would have worked. If that honestly worked, don't you think that someone in science would have come up with something around that now? Like, there's so much to say around identity and beliefs, and and and there's a lot around that in psychology, and they, you know, there's a lot that's backed around that. There's a lot that's backed around breath work and somatic work. There's like a lot more science that's coming out around that. But lying to yourself ain't gonna fucking cut it. Yeah. Sorry to say it. But affirmations, people and affirmations work. Here's the thing they actually work. The problem is that people use them incorrectly, they're trying to jump like bunny hop from I'm not worthy to I'm worthy. You got a few steps, babe. Yeah. You got a few steps to get there. Like, don't try and like sprint and then go from, yeah, what one it's like when we try to hop from this house to the other house. It'd be easier just to get off. Okay, I'm gonna go down into the shadows for a little bit, deep dive, walk through some mud, and then go back and climb up. You get there, it's just the hopping doesn't work, and that's why people give up on it, and that's why people stop believing in it and feel like it's it's it nothing works for them, and it's it's not because nothing works, it's because the the way that they've taught been taught it is bypassing. Effectively, it's bypassing.

SPEAKER_02 44:36

Yeah, and it's like when you're holding that belief as well, like nothing works for me. I took, I call, I talk about this as like the exception. My most people are not the exception, but you think that you are, and when you tell yourself that you are, when you tell yourself that nothing works for you, that you know it doesn't matter, no matter what you do, you just can't do it, that that's just not for you. What do you think is gonna fucking happen?

SPEAKER_04 44:57

Yeah, it's gonna be not for you. And by me, by all means, if you want to hold on to that, great, go for your life. But it's is it helpful? Like I I'm always a big believer in asking the question of when when someone comes to me, and again, this is a big differentiator when it comes to coaching, is like when someone comes to me, they have a goal. All the thoughts, stories, and how you are right now, is it helpful to get you to where you want to go? If it's not, let's look at it.

SPEAKER_02 45:20

Yeah, if it's not impeding, I'm not gonna look at it. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Yeah. It's something I talk a lot about as well. I had a I had was having a conversation with a client yesterday, and she's like, Oh, you know, like this, this, this, is, this, is, this. I was like, babe, you don't actually need to do anything with that. You just need to sit in it. And she's like, Oh, what do you mean? And I was like, it's not something that you need to fix. You just need to sit in it and be uncomfortable with it and just go with it. There is nothing that you need to change. And she's like, Oh, I don't like that. And I'm like, of course you don't. That's why you don't fucking do it, but that is what you need to do. I'm not touching it. I will I refuse to touch it.

SPEAKER_04 45:53

Like, and I it's a tough pill to swallow, but that's sort of that's like where the emotional intelligence comes in because yeah, people sometimes do come to the personal development world for the quick fixes because it does like things can change rapidly, but there's no two ways about it. They can change absolutely rapidly. Um but there's yeah, you you have to feel your stuff, you have to be willing to again master yourself. That's that's the biggest thing. We have to be willing to master ourselves. Yeah. And it's hard. Like it sounds really easy.

SPEAKER_02 46:22

It is hard, it sounds really easy. It's like, oh yeah, just master yourself. Like, just change your mind, change your life, like all of the things. But like it's not that again, otherwise everyone would do it.

SPEAKER_04 46:32

It's everyone would do it and everyone would be healed and we would be out of a fucking job. So don't ever beat yourself up for struggling with this stuff. Like, I I say this to people all the time. I've had conversations with people where they're like, you know, especially I've I worked with a lot of people who are in the industry who've done this work for a long time, and they'll be like, I'm so upset that I can't see this. Like, I've been working on myself for 10 plus years. How do I, how did I not see this? I'm like, because you're meant to not see it. I can't, there's a reason why I work with people. I can't see my own shit sometimes. We're not meant to. Our mind hides it. It's it, and this is the reason why people like us exist in this world. If if there wasn't, like we wouldn't exist if you could, if it was so easy to do on your own. It's not to say you can't do it on your own, but I'm I'm saying like we people like us wouldn't exist if it was super duper easy.

SPEAKER_02 47:17

Yeah. It takes a lot longer, and it's like, yeah, you can't read the label from inside of the jar, but I can see the label very fucking clearly. Like very clearly. Yeah. Walking billboards. Yeah, exactly. But walking billboards for our stuff. People go like, oh my God, how did you know that? And I'm like, because it makes fucking sense from a psychological perspective. Like, from what you've just told me, you've just told me. And they're like, no, I didn't. I'm like, yeah, you did. Like it's it it really, and it's it's why other people can see things from different perspectives. And we've all got different experiences and layers and filters and beliefs and bias and all of the things. So it's like that's really beautiful because it means that other people can see things that we will not see. And that's why it is helpful to have somebody in your life, whether it is a coach, whether it is somebody who's just really good at reflecting, whether it's like that blunt, direct, honest friend that you don't like going to because you know that they're just gonna tell you the truth. Um that it is really helpful to have somebody else. But it again, like you have to be at a certain place where you can take that and when you're ready to hear it as well. And sometimes someone will say something to you and you'll go, like, oh my god, how fucking dare you? And then five years later you'll go, Oh shit.

SPEAKER_04 48:27

And if I had a dollar, if I had a dollar.

SPEAKER_02 48:31

Seriously, our egos love to protect us, the beautiful little thing. They want to do that.

SPEAKER_04 48:36

I love, I I love, yeah, I love all of this. And I I just like I don't want people to sit in shame that they still have stuff to work through. Like, welcome to the club, babe. We're still working through our own shit too. Literally, it's all part of it. Like, you know, us talking about all of this pregnancy stuff today, even having this conversation, I felt some stuff starting to arise, and I was like, oh, okay, that's interesting. Tonight I'm gonna do a process around it. Yeah, yeah. So, like, if that kind of gives you any indication of like you're never like, oh, I'm just done with it. That's not how it works. No, it would be great if I did.

Find Laura And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_02 49:06

Yeah, and like this this is a beautiful thing with like with talking about it as well, especially in a trusted space where you kind of feel like you can just say things as they come up, and all of the things is that then you will notice the things that come up in your body when you've got that mind body, like it all works together. This is the thing, right? Like it all works together, it all has to be together, and that's why I know I'm sure that you do as well, Laura, where we do both. Like we talk about things and we do processes and we feel things always. Yeah, like it's it's all of the things, it's that like holistic, holistic view.

SPEAKER_04 49:37

Yeah, and it's different, you gotta use different things for different people. Like some of my clients, they are they really struggle with visualization. So I'm like, that's totally fine. Let's keep your eyes open. And we're doing process like a shadow work process, or it might be like um, you know, self- I do some hypnosis stuff or breath work, like whatever I'm taking them through. I just roll with the person. That's fine.

SPEAKER_02 49:58

You can bring anything, we'll we'll be good. 100%. I'm not gonna sit here and be like, you have to do this specific thing this specific way. Hell no. If you can't do it, then you like you just go away. That's why we've got so many different fucking qualifications because it's like absolutely too many. Yeah, literally, it's way too many. Sometimes I forget, I'm like, I can do that.

SPEAKER_04 50:18

Well, honestly, until you come up with a client and they're like saying, Oh yeah, I've tried this and it didn't work, and you're like, okay, I've got this other thing. Oh yeah, I do have that other thing. Oh my god, I do I actually know how to do that. That's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

Yeah, I'm actually certified in that. Dude, I spent like six months learning that.

SPEAKER_04 50:33

Yeah, yeah, feel that.

SPEAKER_02 50:35

So if anybody listening has like a really big, hairy, audacious goal that they want to go after, they feel like they're ready. How can they find you and work with you?

SPEAKER_04 50:44

Right now, come to Instagram. Um, it is at Laura Grady with True Wives. And you can connect with me there. I do have some things in the work, but right now I'm just taking on one-on-one clients because I just had a baby not that long ago. So I am really slowly easing myself back into the space. And yeah, that's the best place to find me. You can also find me on TikTok. I think it's with the same handle. Um, and yeah, I share as much as I possibly can. So if you have questions or comments or anything that does pop up for you, feel free to send me a message because more than anything, I really want to build community this year and connect with a lot of people who are doing the work and they want it to feel lighter and simpler and smoother.

SPEAKER_02 51:28

Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for coming on and chatting with me today, Laura. I think we will probably have you back because we've had a few conversations around other topics that we would just really love to create an echo chamber around. I love it. It's so much fun. Yeah, it's really good. These conversations are so fun. Um, but yes, thank you for coming on. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure that it will help a lot of other people who have been in either similar or the same situation as you, because unfortunately, this is not an isolated experience. Oh no. But yes, I just cannot thank you enough for being so open and honest and roar about your journey, especially since it was so recent.

SPEAKER_04 52:08

Thank you. I really appreciate it. Thank you for listening and um thank you for doing what you do. It's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 52:13

No worries. And if you have enjoyed this episode, we would love for you to share on your socials. Drop into our DMs. Obviously, if you do drop into Laura's, please do be mindful that this was an experience of hers and that she may not always be fully open to talking about it. So we're always respectful when we bring in bits and pieces like that, just always asking for permission before we do. But again, thank you so much for joining us, and we will see you next time.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 52:42

Your story does not end here. Permission granted to keep fucking up and figuring it out.

SPEAKER_00 52:47

Subscribe if you're ready for more conversations that make you squirm in the best way. Send this to someone who needs to hear that they're not broken, just human. Drop us a line about what came up for you. The messier, the better. We'll all be here holding space for all of your beautiful chaos.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Keep writing, keep exploring, and keep being real.