Ep 8 Why Trying to Appeal to Everyone is Hurting Your Business... And What To Do Instead

Hi, I'm a recovering people pleaser (in both life and business). When I first started this company I said yes to everything and it didn't take long for me to be working with clients that exhausted me and made me doubt I wanted to do this work.

Now though, the opposite is true.

I'm firm in who my work is for (and who it isn't), what I do (and what I don't) and the style I work in (and the style I don't).

The best part? I love what I do, am having a greater impact and magnetising clients more than ever before.

This episode is a dive into how you can do the same.

And if you want my expert eyes on your marketing to ensure it's speaking to who it serves in a way that converts, the Marketing MOT is for you:

www.consciouscreatorco.com/the-marketing-mot

I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode!

Head over to Instagram and let me know:

www.instagram.com/consciouscreatorco_

Transcript

  Hi, and welcome to The Mirror,  the podcast where conscious business owners learn how to practice marketing that is conscious, enjoyable, and a true mirror of the brilliance of their service.  This isn't another generic marketing podcast. This is where you learn the deep psychological principles that create effective marketing, where you can quiet the noise of the business world and tune into how to do things that are a true reflection of you. 

Where you can learn how to finally have the impact you know you are capable and worthy of having.  I'm your host, Emma, a marketing expert of over a decade. I truly love what I do, and I'm bursting with knowledge to share with you all. So sit back, relax, and let's dive in.  Hi, and welcome back to another episode. 

I'm going to start this episode in a bit of a strange way, by reintroducing myself as a recovering people pleaser. Thanks  Now that sounds like a really strange way to start a marketing podcast, I appreciate, but for the past two years I have been on this journey, aka my Saturn return,  where I have basically had a spotlight shone on all of the ways that I have been people pleasing. 

And by that I mean living my life in a way that others approve of, that will mean I receive validation. And on a deeper level, that will mean people won't leave me.  If you've been through your Saturn return, you may have been on a similar journey, but I feel like I've really been shown all the ways that I've been living my life based on who other people want me to be versus what would be authentic for me.

And this is very fair. We are hardwired to choose validation over authenticity. What I mean by that is like, what is going to. make people see us in a positive light versus what's going to be the best for us.  And this journey has been this huge lesson  in switching that and actually choosing what is going to be the most in alignment, in integrity, authentic versus  what's going to bring me the most love from others. 

And as you can imagine, That's deeply uncomfortable. And this is spoken about in a very shiny way online, where it's like, set boundaries and you'll feel empowered and people will respect them, and being authentic is the best feeling in the world, and like, the reality's quite different. I've had a lot of people be disappointed in me.

I've lost people. I've had to sit in the discomfort of knowing that someone's not happy with what I'm doing, or perhaps thinks I'm selfish because it's so different to what I would usually do. I've been saying no when I would have always said yes. And so much discomfort that isn't spoken about enough comes from that. 

But what on earth does that have to do with marketing? It's a very good question.  Well, I've been doing the same in business as well. And I do think this is part of being a business owner. I've been speaking to a lot of people about this recently. How when you first start out, you just kind of do everything for everyone.

You're like, oh, you need that? I can do it, no stress.  And for me, part of this Saturn return has been really cool. I'm coming home to what I'm truly good at, where I'm able to have most impact and also income as well, because I'm a business owner.  And that has meant being very sure on who I serve, how I serve them,  and what impact I create. 

Again, just like when you choose authenticity, the flip side of that  is that my work has repelled some people.  And what I mean by repelled, I'll use an example to explain it, but  you may have seen me launch mirrored marketing, my signature program.  And when I put that out into the world, I had two or three people message me saying, I love this so much.

This looks so good, but it is not what I need right now.  And one of the reasons just off the top of my head was because they didn't have a solid service.  So they were like, I'm just confused about what it is that I am delivering and sharing.  Now, past Emma would have jumped in here and either said, Oh, like, you know, there's this, this, this, and this part of it that may help you with that, or you don't necessarily need that, or just being a bit blurred. 

in the boundary of the service and what this person needs, or  she would have gone one step too far, shall we say, and gone, Oh, I can help you with that. Let's do this. Let's do that. Let's do this. Potentially have created another service to solve that problem.  Talk about a doer, right? Just wanted to do it all. 

Now, though.  I actually celebrated someone coming and saying that to me, potentially as much as the other people that hit book.  And the reason being is because I had a moment where I was like, wow, my marketing's doing a really good job. It is very clear in who this is for, what stage you need to be at to really benefit from it,  and how it's going to impact you. 

And to the point that that person could say, Using my own, you know, inner authority from the information you've provided, I know it's not right for me.  And that is such a good thing.  It sounds bizarre because we're so used to the narratives online, where it's like, book out, make six figures, sign X amount of clients, and I am obviously for.

Boosting the amount of bookings your service is getting, having more clients, having more income, that's the whole reason that my business exists to help you in that,  but  not with clients that you cannot truly help with work that you genuinely enjoy.  I think many of us will relate to when you have signed a client, that when you're working with them, you're like, Oh, this is not quite a match.

Either you're just feeling drained from the process. You're not really enjoying the time that you have with this client. Or, they're not really getting out of it what they want, they're not really progressing, the transformation's not really happening, and there's so much doubt on both sides and it just does not feel good for anyone involved.

Obviously doesn't feel good for the person who's parted with that money for a service that isn't really serving them. Obviously doesn't feel good for you as the service provider who feels like, again, you're not really serving the person.  I don't want to help you increase your bookings if it means working with clients like that. 

I want you to work with clients that love what you do. You love doing the work that you're doing with them.  They leave rave reviews. They recommend you to anyone when someone types, Oh, I need help with this. You're the first person that they hit at typing your name. Those are the clients that I want you to be signing  and to be able to do that, you have to be okay with the fact that for you to stand strong enough in what you do, in your message, in your approach, your uniqueness as a human. 

That is going to repel certain people.  Before in my business, I was pretty much for everyone. And yeah, it was good. I got the bookings in, but I did not have that deep rooted satisfaction, that deep sense of integrity of authenticity. It was there, but nowhere near to the depth that I have now.  I was a yes person.

I was a people pleaser. And because of that, I was diluting the power that I have.  Within my services.  The level of confidence I now have has really switched because I feel like I know what I do, I know who I do it for, I know how I create impact, I'm not trying to be things that are outside of my zone of genius, I'm just doing what I'm good at, and the clients that that is attracting in, wow.

Just incredible. Like, clients that weren't even on my dream board because I never even imagined that that would be possible.  The feeling I have from doing this work is actually something that I lost within my business before.  It's back.  I feel confident, I can share about my services, things are clear, people are saying to me, this isn't right for me, and I'm like, good, right, this is so good. 

I think many of us have also experienced when we've booked something and we've been like, I don't fully feel like this is what it was promised to be.  This feels very different to what is advertised and I don't feel like this can fully serve me.  This is what happens sometimes when manipulative marketing is used.

And I'm not saying all the time because we are just all humans. And it is really hard to portray what your service is as clear as possible. This is why my entire business exists to help you do that. But  sometimes we just can't convey what a service is. perfectly enough that people are crystal clear.

Sometimes they're gonna book and be like, oh, this actually wasn't quite what I was looking for. And also, like, maybe they don't have the discernment to know exactly what they were looking for. I had someone once sign up to a group program of mine and, like, a couple of weeks in, they were like, This is amazing, but I just don't work well in a group program.

Like, I need the one to one support. And she actually said, like, I didn't know that before I did this. And now I always say really clearly in my messaging, like, before you sign up to this group program, like, really just ask yourself, do you work well in groups? Do you work well with independent working? Or are you someone that really benefits from having that on hand support?

Someone to hold you accountable? All of these different things.  Part of your marketing really needs people to reflect on themselves, whether that's where they're at, what they need, or how they work, so that they know  if your service is for them. And that's something that my marketing does clearly now. I know that it's going to repel certain people.

It's something that I've been working with clients as well. I just worked with one who,  was working with these kind of clients that felt very draining to her. She was like, they want a quick fix. They want me to fix things for them. So we worked on the messaging and we said like, this is not for you if, and not like the generic, this is not for you if you don't want to earn six figures and take over the world, but like really, really, this is not for you if you believe that you are broken and are seeing this as the solution to fix you. 

You are not willing to do the deep dive into self and really sit in the discomfort of the shadows. You know, look, we were going in on this messaging because this was deep, deep transformational work and it was absolutely not for everyone. And let me make a distinction here. Not that it couldn't benefit everyone, and I think this is where we get confused, but not everyone was ready to receive it.

And when we speak about niching, which I know a lot of people are resistant to,  We're not speaking about Jenny who's 25 and lives in the city and does x, y, and z. That's the traditional way of niching. We are talking about the people who are ready to receive the service. The people who have got to that place where they're ready to take action and they're ready for it to be with what you do and the way that you do it. 

And so when we're speaking about getting really clear on who we serve, how we serve them, what we do,  This is why it is so important. Because this client was attracting in people that they weren't ready to do the work, they just wanted the quick fix. And when we looked into the marketing that my client was putting out, we were like, but you are kinda suggesting that within the marketing. 

So when we redid it all to the messaging, to be this very safe message, but also with a little dose of like, this is fucking hard work.  The clients she attracted in were incredible. I have never seen her,  I've worked with her a few times, but I've never seen her this lit up from her work. She's like, I'm genuinely making a difference to the lives of others.

I cannot wait to get to my desk. And that's what I want you to have. And that's honestly how I feel about my work now. I've been a lot clearer in what I do and what I don't do. I've been a lot more open about the process, more transparent within my marketing, and the clients that I am working with right now,  they are that like pinch me clients.

Like I'm like, I can't believe I get to do this work with these people. I genuinely so lit up. And then of course, if we are speaking about the energetic side of things and magnetizes clients in, of course you're going to attract more when you're in that space, when you're like, wow.  I love what I do. I'm good at what I do.

I know who it's for and I know how it helps and I'm confident in that transformation.  And that does start with your marketing. It starts with making sure that you are being clear in your message, in what you do, in how you do it, in who it's for, what people need to be  ready for within your service, the transformation that it's going to create. 

And if you don't feel like your marketing is currently doing that, maybe if you're not attracting in many clients, maybe if most of the people are the types that are like, this isn't right for me right now,  then there may be a mismatch here. Like it may be that  there's a difference between repelling clients in the sense of them able to be like, okay, It does this and that's not what I'm looking for.

Like if a client came to me and said, Oh, mirrored marketing is not quite right for me because I'm really just looking for like a plug and play. Then I'd be like, Oh, but that's exactly what mirrored marketing is. I'm just not portraying that clear enough within my marketing.  That is a messaging problem.

Versus someone being like, I don't have a clear enough service. That's me being like, okay, the messaging is spot on.  It's like, you can start to see the difference there.  And if you ask someone that's like, I'm not sure right now, I don't know if my marketing is clearly portraying what I do. I don't know if my message is clear enough.

There's people coming who are just like, it doesn't feel right for them, or you're attracting clients that they don't feel right for you. This is something that we look at within the marketing MOT.  So we dive into this, we have a look at who it is you serve and how you serve them, the current messaging that you are putting out, and then we audit it and re strategize it to make sure that you are speaking exactly to who you serve and creating this clear path to purchase only for the clients that are that like, perfect match fit.

That are the, yes, this is exactly what I'm looking for. This is what I need. This is the style I want to do it in.  And then they become the kinds of clients that they leave the five star reviews. They want to tell everyone they want to come back again.  So if this sounds interesting to you, and this is something you want to learn more about, I will leave all of the information below.

I appreciate this was a bit of a random episode. It feels like I'm speaking about repelling people from your service. But really what I'm saying here is that the importance of finding the clients  your ideal that you can truly serve and how trying to appeal to everyone and diluting your message within that is taking you further away from being able to do so.

So let's create you a clear, powerful message that attracts those clients in You can find all of the details below. Thank you so much for listening.  Thank you so much for listening to this episode.  I really hope that it was helpful for you, and if it has made you want to find out more of the ways you can work with me, all of the information about One to One, my resources, my programs, are all listed below in the show notes.

If you found this helpful, I would really appreciate if you could take a moment just to write a review. This helps other creators just like yourselves find this podcast and have an even greater impact from their services.  I would really, really love to hear from you. Please feel free to get in touch with me over on Instagram or via email, both of which, again, you can find below. 

Thank you so much for being here and until next time.