S2 Ep19 The Four Words That Changed My Marketing... And Will Probably Change Yours Too

In this episode of Marketing Musings, I’m diving into four words that sparked equal parts expansion and resistance in me: let it be shit.

When I was on a writing retreat and saw that phrase printed across our sweatshirts, something in me lit up — and tightened at the same time. Because if I’m honest, I’ve built so much of my life on over-performing, over-delivering, and trying to avoid failure at all costs. From competitive trampolining as a child to being the “give it to Em, she’ll handle it” employee in my corporate career, I learned very early on that being “enough” meant never slipping up.

So the idea of willingly letting something be bad? Letting it be messy? Letting it not work?

It felt almost unbearable.

But in this episode, I explore why that exact permission, to create badly, to start without knowing the outcome, to risk it not landing, is actually the gateway to our best, most alive work.

https://www.consciouscreatorco.com/marketingmuse

I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode!

Head over to Instagram and let me know:

www.instagram.com/em___orlando

If you are interested in working together, you can head to my website here: 

www.consciouscreatorco.com

Transcript

(0:00) Hi and welcome to The Mirror, the podcast where conscious business owners learn how to practise (0:06) marketing that is conscious, enjoyable and a true mirror of the brilliance of their service. (0:13) This isn't another generic marketing podcast, this is where you learn the deep psychological (0:18) principles that create effective marketing, where you can quiet the noise of the business world and (0:24) tune in to how to do things that are a true reflection of you, where you can learn how to (0:29) finally have the impact you know you are capable and worthy of having. I'm your host Emma, a (0:36) marketing expert of over a decade.I truly love what I do and I'm bursting with knowledge to (0:41) share with you all, so sit back, relax and let's dive in. Hi and welcome back to another episode, (0:50) one that I have heaps of resistance around and actually had resistance towards from the minute (0:57) that it came into my life and I started experiencing it myself. So just to circle back, (1:05) when I was on the writing retreat a couple of weeks ago, the theme that was kind of placed on (1:11) the retreat, well one of the themes, was this idea of letting it be shit at first.Now we had this (1:18) printed on our sweatshirts, it was something that was woven into the entire space and it was something (1:26) that I immediately felt this in-body resistance to and the first morning we were there, we opened (1:35) up our notebooks, we were watching the sunrise over the mountains and I wanted to write something (1:41) of course and this was the very first thing that came to mind. I was like, of course I need to (1:47) write about letting it be shit because for me, as soon as I saw that statement, I felt like it ignited (1:56) my creativity but also there was a contraction around it. Now the reason I initially felt this (2:07) excitement was that I have never let anything be shit, ever, like purposefully.I'm not saying (2:15) I've never created anything that is shit because I absolutely have done many things in fact, (2:21) I'm saying I've never willingly sat down and made peace with the fact that I could be creating (2:27) something shit. In fact, if I ever have put something shit out into the world in a way like (2:34) I had to, perhaps I had a deadline at work or a school submission or I used to compete a lot in (2:40) sports, so you know when I had no choice but to show up and things were shit because of that, (2:47) I see that as different to me willingly showing up and letting something be shit. (2:54) And when I came to write about this, which you will see if you read my sub stack this week, (2:59) I realised that for me, letting it be shit perpetuates my greatest fear of not being enough.(3:08) Now from as young as I can remember, I have always over-delivered and over-performed. (3:15) I'm not going to go into the depths of my childhood here, but there was obviously a reason for that, (3:21) many reasons for that I should say, and it was something that I learned at a really young age (3:27) that I need to try and be the best that I can be, I need to avoid failure at all costs, (3:36) even if I compromise myself and my well-being and even my truth in the process of doing so. (3:44) And because of that, I of course did the best I possibly could to never let anything be shit.(3:53) And the times for whatever reason that it was like I spoke about, perhaps it was a submission (3:58) or a competition or anything like that, it broke me. Like I felt so afraid of that failure, (4:05) not just because I'd failed, but because what I'd make it mean about myself. I can think of (4:11) one really clear example, which is when I was trampolining when I was younger and I had a very (4:17) big competition that I had been training for for months and months and months.I used to do like (4:22) three to four, two to three hour sessions a week. So I would train very hard and then I'd also have (4:27) daily conditioning as well. So when I eventually got to a competition, there was hours and hours (4:34) and hours of work that had gone into that.And this one time, I've actually written about this (4:40) and I'm not sure where I'm going to share it, but you may read it at some point, that I performed (4:46) my routine and I was a little bit wobbly to start with, but the rest of the routine was good. Like I (4:54) really pulled it back and what I thought I'd done is I thought I'd saved it. And I remember landing (5:00) badly on that first move and feeling such a deep panic within because I have this huge fear of (5:07) failure at the best of times, let alone in front of a whole audience of people.(5:14) And so I got off the trampoline and I was, I took a deep breath, feeling kind of relieved. So I was (5:19) like, okay, rocky start, but we pulled it back. And my coach looked at me and I knew from the second (5:25) that I looked at him, I was like, oh no, I fucked it.I've absolutely fucked it. And he said something (5:31) like, sorry kiddo, don't worry about it. You know, just don't worry about it.And this was before we'd (5:35) even got the results in. So I knew that my fault was more serious than I thought it was. (5:41) And the really, really brutal thing about trampoline, like bearing in mind, I'm a young kid (5:46) at this point, is that if you fault, you don't get marked from that point on.So I faulted (5:54) on the first move, which meant I got zero, zero, zero, zero. So every judge awarded me zero. (6:01) And of course I probably failed in my life before this, but this was something that always really (6:07) stood out to me at the pinnacle of failure, because you can't get much clearer than zero, (6:16) right? I got no marks.You can't really read between the lines of that and be subjective (6:21) about it. It's very black and white. I failed the competition and I was broken.Like I cried the (6:30) whole way home. I think it was up North or somewhere. I used to travel all around the (6:33) country to compete.And I just was so, so broken because obviously I'd poured in a lot of hard work (6:40) to that, but I just couldn't shake the feeling of what it meant about me. I was so embarrassed (6:47) about my failure. It was very public and very humiliating.And it was in front of family (6:54) figures that I was hell bent on trying to impress and earn the approval of. So for a young kid, (7:02) like that really cemented deep in me and only perpetuated the existing problem of never feeling (7:12) enough. And I think I carried this, not necessarily this competition, but this way of being (7:19) throughout my entire twenties.I was always the person at work that they'd be like, (7:24) give it to Em, she can handle it. Like all of my appraisals said she goes above and beyond, (7:29) you know, like nothing is too much for her. And I relished in that because I was like, okay, (7:35) that means that I'm good, right? That means I'm approved of, that means that I'm closer to this (7:42) perception of being enough.And of course, now I can look back in hindsight and see that that is (7:48) absolute bullshit. I look back now and I wish I handed in some shit work. I wish I let it be (7:57) shitter.I wish I gave myself more freedom to not over-deliver for a company that never actually (8:04) gave a fuck about me, right? I was just a number for them. Or to try and prove myself to people (8:10) that honestly didn't care. They never wanted to see me as, I don't even know what I wanted them (8:15) to see me as, right? Like, but the point is, is that they were never going to.I was pursuing (8:21) this delusion of what it meant to be enough. And that destination never ever arrived. I kept (8:28) thinking, okay, one day you're going to get to this point where you're like, okay, we've achieved (8:33) enough now and it will be good.We'll be enough. And of course that point never came. In fact, (8:40) I had to do the total opposite and I had to find that enoughness within myself, even on the days (8:49) where I had nothing to give.And in doing so, I started to strengthen this ability to not purposely (8:56) make something shit, but to actually release the tight grip that I had on myself that could never (9:03) slip up. Because that is such an exhausting place to reside in. So I've had a lot of inner work (9:11) around that.I've had a lot of therapy. I've done a lot of journaling, listened to a lot of podcasts, (9:15) you know, all the self-development work. I've done it.And yet when I was facing these four words in (9:21) front of me, I realised that yes, I felt some expansion in that because I was like, finally, (9:27) it gets to be shit. But also I realised there is still this part of me that doesn't want it to be. (9:33) And I'm not trying to change that, right? That is human nature.None of us want to purposely create (9:40) something that's shit, I imagine. We all have this deep rooted need for approval and validation. (9:47) And I'm not here trying to override that.But what I am curious about is what cost? Because as I was (9:55) saying, for me, when I was never allowed to let anything be shit, I completely lost myself (10:03) in the process of that. And if I start to tie it back to my work, my creativity was non-existent. (10:12) My unwillingness to explore, to trial and error, to give myself true creative freedom that doesn't (10:19) fit in a box of perfection didn't exist.And of course, in the corporate world, it's hard for it (10:27) too, right? Like you do have rules and regulations that you have to follow. Things have to be up to (10:31) a certain standard. But I stopped doing that entirely.One thing I used to love to do as a (10:38) kid was write poetry. And I started to notice that whenever I felt this pull to write poetry again, (10:45) as soon as I started writing, if it didn't feel good within the first sentence, or I started to (10:51) feel a bit muddled and jumbled and like it wasn't really piecing together on the page, then I would (10:57) just abandon it entirely. To the point that when I was a kid, if you asked me to write you a poem on (11:04) demand, I would literally just do it instantly.I'd write it straight away. Whereas if you asked (11:09) me to do that a couple of years ago, I would completely stutter and I probably wouldn't even (11:14) be able to write a single word on the page. And I think this is because that part of me, (11:19) that when I was a kid just used to let it be shit.I would just write this silliest poem and I just (11:23) didn't even care if it didn't make sense or how it sounded or if it was good. I just wrote and (11:28) expressed. And I think because of that, I had this creative freedom that it just isn't accessible (11:38) when you're not okay with things being shit.When you're not okay with the fact that you may start (11:44) something and abandon it halfway through. Or you may start it and think it's not good and not want (11:49) to finish it. Or even write the whole thing really messily and then read it afterwards and say that (11:54) doesn't make sense.No one wants to create like that. We live in a world where everything is (11:59) more and faster and needs to be optimised. So the idea we may spend a portion of time writing (12:06) for it to be shit at the end of it is not something that we're going to be willing to do.(12:12) And yet for us to create in a way that is truly creatively alive, we have to be okay with that. (12:20) Ironically, when we create through the lens of letting it be shit, that's when we create (12:27) our best work. When I started filling the page about this, you know, letting it be shit, (12:33) I was writing in a way that I was like, I don't even know where I'm going with this.(12:35) This is just me scribbling down what's coming up for me and what I'm thinking about it. (12:39) And then when I turned it into a sub stack, I was like, oh, I like this. But I'd only reach (12:47) that place of liking it through being okay with the fact that I might not like it.(12:52) And it might not be very good. And the funny thing is, is if I think about why I fell out of love, (12:59) not just with marketing in the corporate sense, but also inside of my business as well, (13:04) when I was working with like smaller brands and clients, I realised that people were coming to me (13:11) with a total unwillingness for things not to work. They were very much like, if I invest this in you, (13:19) I need to know the return of investment.I need to know that whatever strategies we adopt and (13:24) implement, they're going to work. And by work, they were thinking like, they'll go viral, (13:29) I'll sell out, people will love it, we'll get huge engagement. Like the pressure for performance, (13:37) of course, was huge in that industry.And to an extent, I really get it. If you're investing (13:42) money into a strategy, you want to feel like it's going to work, you want an ROI. (13:48) The problem is, though, is that when I was working with these clients, it felt like we were in such (13:54) a tight creative cage, because we were like, okay, what's currently going viral? What's performing? (14:00) What's going to be the most palatable? What's going to make the most sense? And so we were (14:05) creating this marketing that felt very heavily constructed, but it did not feel alive.And as (14:11) someone who is a generator, who really relies on feeling lit up, to feel creative, motivated to (14:19) have momentum around things, I really, really struggled with this. I felt like all of the (14:25) creativity that lived inside of me, I just could not tap into it. And I would be having to churn (14:32) out content and ideas and messaging strategies and tactics week on week with zero creative fire (14:40) to be able to do so.And I realised it's because I had to create in a way that was constructed (14:46) for it to work, for it to not be shit. Like I didn't have that space and time to explore. (14:55) And I think that this is an essential part of marketing that we skip over.I think everybody (15:01) is always talking about how to get the numbers, how to sell out, how to create the strategies that work, (15:07) that they forget that a part of that process is being okay with the fact that sometimes (15:12) you might share things and it might receive tumbleweed in return. It might not get the (15:19) recognition that you think it's worthy of. People might not get it.And I'm not even just talking (15:25) about your marketing here. Sometimes this happens within our services as well, right? Like we're (15:29) like, okay, this is amazing. People need it.People are going to get that. And then we put (15:32) it out into the world and people don't immediately buy it. And we go through this process of questioning.(15:39) And I just think this is the part that when we skip over it, when we do not allow things to not (15:45) instantly work, to not be an overnight success, when we don't give them permission to be a little (15:51) bit shit at first until we really refine them and go through this process of trial and error and really (15:58) bring them to life through actually living them, we actually can't create the kind of marketing (16:06) that does our work justice. We cannot create the kind of marketing that feels alive and that (16:12) people get and people see themselves in. We have to be willing to not have everything be (16:20) immediately received and worshipped and wanted, right? Like we have to be okay (16:27) with this being the part of the process.If we want to create the kinds of things that is (16:33) very true, very alive, very authentic, and very real. Because the only way to guarantee the (16:41) performance of something is to make it performative, right? It's to craft it into this way of being (16:48) that people are going to like, people are going to get. It follows the formulas for virality.(16:53) It follows the sales strategies. But the problem with that is most of us have already given that (16:58) a go and we didn't like it. We didn't enjoy it.It didn't feel aligned. It didn't feel sustainable. (17:04) And even when it attracted end clients, they weren't ones that fully understood the depth of (17:09) our work.And I think that people really resist that place of trialling, of continuing to show up (17:18) and put things out into the world that feel the most real, not just the most effective. (17:25) They miss this part where things are allowed to be a little bit shaky, where they'll start (17:30) sentences and then not finish them. When they'll go back and really rework a body of work (17:36) because it needs externalise that have perhaps embodied it even deeper.Some of my creations, (17:43) you know, I start a year ago and they end up publishing them a year later. And that's because (17:47) they've needed space. When I've started writing them, I'm like, hmm, there's something in this, (17:52) but it's a bit shit at the moment.And then I just, I let it be. And then I go back to it and (17:59) then I polish the turn and then I make it better. And of course that doesn't fit into the ways of (18:04) creating that society wants us to.If I worked for a company, I would never be able to do that. (18:10) They'd want it by the deadline and they would want me to use tools to optimise it. You know, (18:16) they'd say things like, well, if you're struggling, use AI.They would be actively encouraging that (18:21) because they want more out. And I think that this is a really big part of the problem as well, (18:26) because even the influence of AI is meaning that things can't be shit anymore. I read a (18:33) substat note the other day that said that the person loves it when they see errors in people's (18:38) work, because it means it was written by a human.Right. And I think this all the time because (18:43) sometimes I just get so excited within my writing that I forget about commas. I forget about any (18:48) kind of grammar.And I have this little voice in my head that's like, people are going to read this (18:52) and think that you're a shit writer because you're not writing grammatically correct. And then I'm (18:57) like, yeah, but I am writing in a way that's real and that's human. And the fact that I don't have (19:01) enough commas, probably, or too many, I can never seem to find the balance, doesn't take away from (19:07) the words that are on the page and how important they are.A lot of clients come to me and say, (19:12) I'm not good at writing. And then I read their work and I'm like, you're amazing at writing. (19:18) I don't care about your sentence structure or your grammar or any of the other things that you think (19:23) don't make you good at writing.The feeling that you've poured into this, the messiness of the (19:29) musings, the rawness of it, the way I can see you in that expression naturally means that you're good (19:37) at it. And I think we've become so obsessed with good meaning something, you know, like there being (19:43) this criteria of being good at something. And I speak about this on a whole other episode I've (19:48) recorded about imposter syndrome, that we forget that actually it's not about creating the best (19:56) body of work anyone's ever seen.It's about creating something that is a true reflection of you. (20:04) And I truly believe the only way that you can come to that is to give yourself permission to (20:11) create in ways that might feel a bit shit at first, or even to create in ways where you're (20:16) not setting out for it to be anything. Maybe you start writing and you're like, this has no purpose, (20:21) this has nowhere to go, it's not for anything, but you're just writing for the sake of writing.(20:26) And maybe it gets turned into your best, most resonant marketing yet. And maybe it just stays (20:31) in the drafts because it was only meant for you. And this is a practise that I've really been (20:36) honing into recently, I have just been writing and writing and writing.Some of that writing (20:41) stays in the drafts. Some of it I may go back to in a year, maybe I won't. Sometimes I'm like, (20:48) oh, actually, okay, this is something that I want to share.And this is something that I want to (20:52) edit and work on and tie into, you know, the strategy of what I'm speaking about in my business. (20:58) But the real key is that I'm giving permission for it to just be messy, for it to unfold how it (21:04) wants to unfold without trying to make it good, or even to scrutinise it before its expression (21:11) has really alchemised. I'm not interrupting its flow, I'm just letting it express what it wants (21:18) to express.And then if it wants to become more, then it can be. But it's really about giving it (21:25) that first permission slip, because I do this all the time, I start writing and I go, oh, this is (21:29) shit, this isn't going anywhere, this isn't tied to anything. And then I stop myself in my tracks.(21:35) And since the retreat, I've been really stopping myself from doing that. And the amount of times (21:41) that the pieces that I say to myself, this is shit, turn into some of my favourite pieces today, (21:47) is ridiculous. Like it is happening all the time.And I think I've been speaking about this a lot, (21:53) maybe not using these words, but it's about infusing more of this messiness into marketing, (21:59) more of this just like real representation of what it means to create a body of work. (22:05) To start it, to not finish it. To start it, to change tact.To start it and to think it's shit. (22:11) To start it and let it just ebb and flow in directions you weren't expecting. To start it (22:17) without answers and then find them on the page.There's got to be this kind of freedom to the (22:23) expression that I do think we are diluting with tools like AI. And I've noticed myself, you know, (22:29) if I get halfway through the piece, and I'm like, oh, I can't tie this back to my work, or I don't (22:33) know where to go from here. I don't know how to finish it.I ask AI to do it for me. Because I (22:39) don't want it to be shit. You know, I want AI to make it good.When actually, when I sit with (22:44) myself and I challenge this resilience, and I go, okay, you know, maybe we just need to walk away (22:49) from it. Maybe we just need to write the thing that we think is shit and then see what happens. (22:54) And maybe from there, we get what we're actually looking for.But it's almost creating this (22:59) discipline within what I'm creating, where I just give space for it to be shit, for it to be (23:07) explored, for it to come alive on the page without scrutinising it and trying to turn it into something (23:13) better first. And throughout the whole time that we are together for the Marketing Muse, this is what (23:17) we're going to be exploring, because we're also going to be writing marketing, of course, but (23:24) exploring what it feels like to just creatively express outside of our work. Because I think this (23:31) is the muscle that actually needs strengthening for our best marketing to come through.It's the (23:38) part of us that actually does just create for the joy of it and doesn't always need to make it mean (23:43) something or to turn it into something. The part that's just expressing for the sake of expressing, (23:49) letting it be shit, is the part that actually creates the best work. And the more we can pay (23:56) attention to that part and nourish them and feed them, the more they have to give.And I've really (24:03) been noticing this within myself. When I've been letting it be shit, I've been creating some of (24:08) my best work, ironically. And I'd love to know how this lands with you.I'd love to know what (24:13) comes up for you when you hear the phrase, let it be shit. And yeah, if you've been exploring this (24:19) yourself, if you feel cool to explore it, then as always, I'd love to hear from you. As I said, I have (24:24) a lot of resistance to this episode, but I know it's such an integral part of what I'm currently (24:29) putting out into the world.And it really feels like I'm walking the talk of it. Yeah, which I'm (24:35) sure so much more is going to be unfolding and probably arriving in other episodes. But thank (24:39) you so much for listening to this one.I really appreciate you being here. Thank you so much for (24:45) listening to this episode. I really hope that it was helpful for you.And if it has made you want (24:51) to find out more of the ways you can work with me, all of the information about One to One, (24:57) my resources, my programmes are all listed below in the show notes. If you found this helpful, (25:05) I would really appreciate if you could take a moment just to write a review. This helps other (25:11) creators just like yourselves find this podcast and have an even greater impact from their services.(25:19) I would really, really love to hear from you. Please feel free to get in touch with me over on (25:26) Instagram or via email, both of which again, you can find below. Thank you so much for being here.(25:33) And until next time.