S2 Ep22 How I'm Using a Social Media Sabbatical To Grow My Business

I've been sitting with a lot lately. The kind of a lot that makes you want to go completely off-grid, learn embroidery and never open Instagram again.

I've been questioning everything lately. My work, the noise, the way we've all just quietly agreed to film our lives and scroll through other people's and act like that's completely normal. And I wanted to show up and talk about it even though none of it is fully formed yet, because I think that's kind of the point.

So that's what this episode is, an honest look at the noise we're all swimming in, why so many of us feel this growing resistance to showing up online, and what I think is actually underneath that. We're talking social media, the self-development trap, why your work might not be landing the way you want it to, and this bigger collective shift I keep seeing in myself and in the people I work with. A real questioning of the way we've been told to do things and what it might look like to do them differently.

I'd love to hear what you thought of this episode!

Head over to Instagram and let me know:

www.instagram.com/em___orlando

If you are interested in working together, you can head to my website here: 

www.consciouscreatorco.com

Transcript

(0:00) Hi and welcome to The Mirror, the podcast where conscious business owners learn how to practise (0:06) marketing that is conscious, enjoyable, and a true mirror of the brilliance of their service. (0:13) This isn't another generic marketing podcast, this is where you learn the deep psychological (0:18) principles that create effective marketing, where you can quiet the noise of the business world and (0:24) tune in to how to do things that are a true reflection of you, where you can learn how to (0:29) finally have the impact you know you are capable and worthy of having. I'm your host Emma, a (0:36) marketing expert of over a decade.I truly love what I do and I'm bursting with knowledge to (0:41) share with you all, so sit back, relax, and let's dive in. Hi and welcome back to another episode. (0:50) I'm aware my voice may sound a little bit weird, I am currently experiencing a wisdom tooth flare (0:56) which, funnily enough, is something that I get whenever there is a lot of wisdom circling within (1:02) me.And to be completely honest, it's the kind of wisdom that actually really wants to stay within. (1:09) I found it really hard to show up, to write, to speak, because it very much feels like there's this (1:16) big percolating going on inside of me. And to be completely transparent, I almost feel like (1:22) I've been a little bit afraid of that.It feels like I'm having really big downloads and a lot (1:28) coming through at the moment that really question everything I've been doing and also a lot of what (1:36) the world is doing as well, in a way that I know is inherent to the path of a visionary. You know, (1:41) we're very much in this era of new earth at the moment, as everyone is calling it and referring (1:46) to it, where for so many of us, I think particularly creatives and visionaries, it feels like we (1:53) are kind of got our foot in two worlds. We've got our foot in this world that is rigid and makes (2:00) sense and brings us regular income and is easily understood by others and is just kind of the way (2:06) that we have always done things, so there's evidence for it.And then also this world where, you know, (2:13) it doesn't really make a whole lot of sense to the current context of the world and creativity (2:18) leads and we're coming back to what really matters and we're slowing down, we're questioning (2:26) capitalism, you know, and all these huge things that it feels a lot to take on. And I think that's (2:33) where I've been really sitting at the moment. I shared in last week's episode that I had a psychic (2:38) reading and I also shared that I was kind of questioning myself for even booking it afterwards (2:45) and I've actually since wrote an entire substack on this which is currently in my drafts, hoping (2:49) to make its way out of there soon, but if you're a creative you understand how that process works, (2:54) it can take some time.But essentially I was really reflecting on why do I still feel the need (3:02) to outsource? Why do I feel like after all of this self-development, (3:08) I am still seeking someone outside of me to give me the answers? And it kind of made me realise (3:16) that this has nothing to do with the psychic reading at all. This is actually painting a much (3:21) bigger picture of the self-development world where it has kind of kept so many of us in this trap (3:28) of seeking a solution in a place that is actually perpetuating the problem. (3:34) And I saw this kind of need for someone else to give me answers outside of myself, (3:39) not even just within the psychic reading, but in so many of the things I've booked, (3:43) in so much of the content that I absorb online, in so many of the self-development spaces (3:49) I have found myself in, I've noticed that the ones that have really stuck with me and created (3:55) the greatest impact on my life are the ones that actually turn up the volume on my own (4:01) inner authority.They help me see myself clearer, they help strengthen my own intuition. (4:09) And I think as I've been kind of sitting with all of these realisations and really embodying it, (4:15) I have found it harder to show up and create, and I have also found it much harder to consume, (4:21) which I don't think is a bad thing at all. But every time I've been going on social media, (4:26) I shared about this on my story the other day, but I've been really getting this social media ick, (4:31) where of course there are so many issues going on in the world right now which are big, and I (4:37) believe they need our attention.And of course the nuance to that is we need to regulate and (4:43) check in with our capacity and do what we need to take care of ourselves, and also we need to (4:50) pay attention and support where we can to these huge issues that are going on in the world. (4:55) So I think as I've been consuming that, I shared this post about how we go from (5:00) that kind of content, where it's the big important issues, to get ready with me, or come and try on (5:08) my new ASOS haul with me, or the new skincare I'm obsessed with, and it just feels so incredibly (5:17) noisy. It feels like it is just constantly pulling us away from ourselves, all the important matters (5:27) that need our attention.And I don't even mean that just in the context of the news, (5:31) like something I've been noticing since I'm back spending time with my family is how much it pulls (5:37) me away from presence with the people I love. How much it really, really fills my mind to the point (5:44) that I feel like I have no capacity to imagine, to be bored, to create. And also how much it floods (5:54) my nervous system.I was speaking about this the other day where I went to the farm with one of my (5:58) friends and I was with her little boy who's just such a legend. He's like my best mate, I love him (6:03) so much. And we had the most beautiful day at the farm together.And then I came home and I (6:11) scrolled on social media and I immediately felt anxious. I was like it's Saturday night, (6:15) what am I doing? Why am I not doing anything? Why am I just here in my pyjamas watching some (6:20) rubbish thing on Netflix? And just kind of got so swept up in the social media noise. (6:27) And I've been so hyper aware how unnatural this all is.And I've spoken about this in relation (6:35) to AI, how we very much just adopted this new tool without much questioning of it. (6:41) And I think the same really happened with social media as well. My friend and I were speaking about (6:46) how we've been really prioritising our crafts at the moment.And if you have seen any of my content (6:50) you'll know that crafting is pretty much becoming my entire personality and I'm not mad about it. (6:55) I appreciate that's maybe not why you followed me, so apologies if that is the case and you're not (7:00) enjoying it but I'm loving it. She was talking about going to the pottery studio and she came (7:06) round my house and we just spent the whole day crafting together, drinking tea and eating (7:10) beautiful food.And my cousin came to stay for the weekend and we crocheted all weekend over chats, (7:17) over cups of tea, we popped to the garden centre. It was just so wholesome and beautiful. (7:24) And when we were speaking in these contexts of being very offline and crafting, something that (7:31) kept coming up was like, why do we not consider more how unnatural it is to be consuming people's (7:39) lives in this way? And I feel like that's something we say all the time, we're always like, (7:44) social media is not real life, it's a snippet of reality.We say this and we rationalise it. (7:51) But I feel like there needs to be even bigger questioning of it and deeper consideration (7:56) of just like, even the act of setting up the camera to film ourselves doing stuff, (8:02) to put it online to share with strangers, or the opposite of watching, you know, what someone's (8:08) had for breakfast who I don't even know, sometimes I don't even know the name of, (8:12) but I can tell you what they've eaten that day. It is so weird.I feel like, (8:18) I don't know why this is coming up for me so much at the moment, but I just feel this great (8:25) rejection of it. And I think potentially, to answer my own thought there, it's because I'm in (8:31) a stage of life where I'm just not really sure what the next step is. I'm questioning a lot at (8:37) the moment, you know, of myself, of my environment, of my work.A lot is coming up where it feels like (8:45) it needs to change on a cellular level. And I very much feel like this is why Wisdom 2 stuff (8:50) is coming up. I feel like it's why I'm needing to silence a lot of noise.Something that the (8:55) psychic said to me was, you know, she was tuning into my guides and she was saying, (8:59) they really don't want you to be creating services as such at the moment. They don't (9:05) want you to do these quick things to bring something out into the world. They want you (9:10) to have a lot of space.And of course that's something that for many of us entrepreneurs (9:16) feels very uncomfortable. I don't even like calling myself that word, but I think there's (9:20) this kind of narrative that we always need to be figuring it out the next thing and getting work (9:25) in and growing our businesses in some capacity. Whereas actually what I'm seeing a lot of (9:31) discussion around on like the nice little pockets of the online world I'm finding at the moment (9:35) is about this new earth.And obviously we've been hearing talk of the new paradigm and it (9:40) can kind of feel a bit mystical in many ways, but I feel like something has really shifted recently (9:47) where it's really starting to maybe not come into fruition, but be something that we are (9:53) considering more than ever before. Not necessarily using that language, but a lot of what we're (9:59) saying, like when I'm having these conversations with friends and we're crafting together, (10:03) we're very much like, I actually don't feel ambitious in the same way that I used to. (10:08) I want to sit and craft all day and I want to make pots and I want to make bags and I want to (10:14) paint just for the joy of painting.And actually we're feeling this rejection of needing to (10:20) capitalise on everything and to contort our creation to algorithms so that they make sense (10:26) to each other. And like, this isn't accidental. This is very much in accordance with this new (10:33) earth that we as visionaries, as creatives, as change makers, you know, whatever you want to (10:37) call it, I believe are on this earth to bring forward.It's also coming out in these things (10:45) like rejection of influencer and guru culture that I've spoken about before, where we're seeing (10:53) hierarchies in spaces where they're really not needed. I think it's also coming through in what (10:58) I was saying about booking the psychic reading of this constant need to outsource and for somebody (11:04) else to tell us wisdom that actually, if we just silenced that noise and tuned within, (11:10) we could probably hear loud and clear. And all of these things, and maybe you have your own version (11:16) of what you're kind of sitting with at the moment, are very intentional.They are here on purpose (11:21) because I believe we are really supposed to change the ways that things are done. (11:26) I believe there's a reason we could never walk down the traditional path. And I think it's why (11:33) many of us are sitting in void-like spaces, perhaps over the last few years, where it's felt (11:39) like we're very much in between and there's this like liminal space.And perhaps we're not having (11:43) the kind of success that we know we're capable of or feeling like we're fully within our potential (11:50) or even that we have work we're really certain on and people don't fully understand it just yet. (11:57) And I know this is very uncomfortable. Believe me, I'm sat in that discomfort at the moment.(12:02) There's a lot of self-doubt and questioning going on over here. But I also think it's very (12:07) intentional. I think that we are paving a new way of doing things in ways that sometimes we can't (12:14) even understand.And I've been really rooted in this at the moment and something that is coming (12:18) through so strongly for me is all the time we are consistently absorbing these kind of old (12:25) template ways of doing things and even choosing those within ourselves. We are prohibiting (12:31) ourselves from creating the change that sounds cliche but the world is kind of waiting on us (12:37) to change and to really bring into the world. And I do think for me this is why I'm kind of like, (12:44) right, I need to be so in my own frequency right now.I cannot keep absorbing all of this noise. (12:51) I don't even want to be. And something that's coming up a lot for clients is just this huge (12:56) resistance to even sharing their work on social media.Like being in the very spaces that really (13:03) they're trying to move people off of. Contributing to noise that they're trying to help people quiet (13:08) in. And it feels unnatural and I'm kind of tying this back to the point I made about, you know, (13:15) like filming ourselves and putting ourselves online and watching what people are doing.Like (13:19) there is this real element of unnaturalness to it. I remember when I did my first talking video (13:25) online and it took me so many hours in therapy to be able to record that video. I've shared some of (13:32) the context of this in the past but just as a very brief overview, I was really badly bullied for the (13:36) I look when I was younger.So for me having a camera in my face is like, well, like I don't (13:42) want that. I don't want people to see visually me. Of course there's then the added layer of (13:48) the fear of being seen in what we're saying as well and that was a whole other thing.But just (13:52) practically in that sense of someone physically seeing me, I really rejected that. And I did a lot (13:58) of inner work about being able to show up. And I did for a long time.I did a lot of talking videos (14:04) and I went through this stage of sharing a lot of my life online. I was travelling in my camper van (14:09) and I actually got picked up by some press and so like they would do photo shoots with me. (14:14) I started shooting content for a camper van company.I started doing some UGC before it was (14:20) actually UGC. It was just brands sending me their products and wanting me to film them but that (14:24) wasn't like a thing at the time. And I just kind of like really bought into that world and I felt (14:31) like to be good at marketing I needed to show a lot of my life and film things and you know tell (14:38) these stories and paint these pictures with visuals.And there's a part of me that loves that. (14:43) Of course it's a form of art and I really appreciate that and there are some people's (14:47) content that I just love consuming that is of that nature. But I am also really tapped into (14:53) the unnaturalness of it all.And particularly for me at the moment I'm feeling it with how (14:59) deeply complex and nuanced my work is starting to feel. I feel like I'm just meeting more and more (15:05) layers of it. And then trying to contort that to an algorithm or to make sense in these tiny (15:12) little carousel spaces is actually feeling like I'm shrinking and it's not feeling like I'm seen (15:20) at all.And because there's this unnaturalness to it I think there's just this unnaturalness in the (15:27) way that it's received as well. And I have been really questioning of you know I feel like I dealt (15:33) with the fear part of being seen online with me like showing up and talking. And now I know that (15:38) my lack of desire to do that is actually not a fear thing.It's how unnatural it is for me. And (15:45) a lot of clients speak to me on this you know like when they go to record something like a YouTube (15:50) or a podcast they then kind of stutter because they're like well suddenly I'm looking at no one (15:55) and I'm not talking to anyone I've got this camera in my face and it feels weird. Like I can sit and (16:01) do it on a call with you but then to try and do it on my own doesn't feel natural.And I think from (16:08) the coaching world like we've largely been encouraged to push through this and I think (16:12) like I said there's an element of that when we know that it's fear in the driving seat and we (16:16) actually really need to question it. And then I think there's this added layer of unnaturalness to (16:21) it where perhaps that is just not the way that you are called to express. It's not the way that (16:28) feels you know like it's gonna have the deepest resonance because it's not fully resonating within (16:34) you first.And for me because I've been feeling resistant to scrolling online I think there's also (16:40) been a resistance to posting on it and I'm really questioning how I want to show up in that space. (16:47) And I did a whole other episode on how I kind of de-centred Instagram as my primary form of (16:52) marketing and I really focused my efforts on Pinterest and now the majority of my clients (16:57) come from there which I'm so happy about. But I also sat the other day with my journal and I was like (17:03) where do I actually fill it up to create for? And it is my mailing list, it is substack, it is sitting (17:09) down in front of the mic.And then I'm like okay well can these be where I put my efforts? (17:17) And the thing with Instagram is that I have such beautiful connections on there and I am (17:22) currently writing a piece on how I don't even think digital detoxes are doable anymore. I used (17:28) to be such a huge advocate of them when I was a features writer. I used to write about digital (17:33) detoxes all the time, I was the queen of them, I loved them.But now I'm kind of like social media (17:40) has become so central to so many of our lives to the point that the majority of our conversations (17:46) are on there. There is this kind of FOMO I want to say to not being online but also (17:53) there is this general fear that I do love connecting with people on there and I really (17:58) do love being tapped into the collective. I think it's a beautiful way to see what is going on and (18:04) to witness expressions and to experience people's creativity in such a powerful way (18:09) and to have conversations that it's very like oh reply to the story and maybe you wouldn't have (18:15) connected without that little prompt and I love that side of it.And I've tried doing the app (18:21) blockers as well so that I only spend a short amount of time on it but the way that my brain (18:26) is wired and I think the way that these apps are really wired means that I just can't do it. I will (18:31) go on there and I'll be in such a deep scroll hole and I can't get out and I need to just accept (18:37) that. You know I've been really shaming myself about my screen time but I'm trying to see it (18:42) through the compassionate lens of of course like of course you are it is so addictive designed to (18:50) be that way.So I've been having some chats with people about how they're kind of working around (18:54) this because I've had many discussions where people are saying that they're struggling with (18:58) this. I don't have the answers but I think what I'm going to try doing is logging in. I haven't (19:04) decided between once or twice a week but maybe going on desktop to reply to some conversations (19:10) and then once a week perhaps re-downloading the app because I am going to be deleting the app in (19:15) between.Apparently that means you lose data but I'm just going to try and find a way to (19:21) keep my drafts actually not on Instagram like put them in a folder in my gallery or something like (19:26) maybe I need to sit down and build a system around this so that I don't need to rely on Instagram. (19:33) But I'm going to be deleting the app and then logging in like catching up with people having a (19:39) consumption having a brief scroll brief check-in and then logging out and I do largely believe that (19:47) this is the way that a lot of people are going to be going and I think it really matters for (19:53) marketing because even if people don't physically log out people are not paying attention online. (19:59) They are very much in numbed out doom scrolling states where you know you trying to share this (20:06) really deep heartfelt work that you've poured hours into and it's long and it's lengthy.(20:12) We can end up falling into this cycle where we think our work's not important and people (20:17) don't care about it because we're simply sharing in spaces where they're not ready to receive it (20:23) and a friend was talking to me about this the other day of like actually she's been really (20:27) focussing on in-person networking and how a lot of the thing that she even did online recently (20:33) was very much made up of the people she'd been conversing with in real life because there is (20:39) this deep resonance and connection that happens in those spaces where people just want the work (20:45) and even for me like when people have experienced my work on discovery calls like I don't actually (20:50) do discovery for us to just chat about working together I do a reflection call where I share (20:55) reflections on people's marketing and they've just wanted the work instantly as opposed to me like (21:01) showing up consistently online and feeling like I'm shouting into the void and I don't want to do (21:07) that because I don't want to be in this place where I doubt my creations and if I spoke about (21:12) this before about you know being willing for your marketing not to work and to create something true (21:16) you have to show up and know that it might receive tumbleweed you know that's part of the creative (21:21) process but also I'm very protective over my creative energy at the moment and I don't want (21:27) to be unnecessarily draining it I don't want to be showing up with force or contorting what I'm (21:33) trying to create to fit algorithms that I'm getting lost in anyway you know and I do feel like this (21:41) episode has been a little bit sporadic in topics but essentially what I'm saying is that there is (21:46) such a potent energy at the moment for us to be creating ways of doing things differently you know (21:52) whether we call it new earth new paradigm new world whatever we want to refer to it as I just (21:58) feel like we are being called on hugely for change at the moment and change that isn't just for the (22:05) sake of change and isn't even really very revolutionary but change that is coming back (22:10) to simplicity within things to really focussing on what fills us up rewriting the ways of feeling (22:18) like we need to create and contort and make everything a commodity questioning the capitalism (22:25) that has so many of us in a chokehold and I think when we're in environments that are constantly (22:31) perpetuating this like social media or even like a lot of the self-development space we are not (22:38) fully receiving the clarity that we need to actually create this change and I really felt it (22:45) when I was on retreat when I was very offline and I was surrounded by 14 other creatives you know (22:50) the depth of conversation the ideas that were coming through the visionary thinking was so (22:57) powerful and of course I can't live my life on retreat yet I'm hoping that might be in a future (23:03) vision but I can replicate some of the ways that really enhance that creativity and I've really (23:11) been doing it I've been not scrolling so much I've been having friends over like I was saying (23:15) for crafting I've been really focussing on you know my own crafts if I've got a spare hour I'm making (23:21) a blanket for a friend or I'm making up a new bag design or I'm learning embroidery I don't know if (23:28) I'm learning it I feel like I may have done it when I was younger but I can't remember so it (23:30) feels like I'm learning it anyway and I want to start making bread and just really coming into (23:37) connection with myself which I have noticed has been really enhancing the connection with others (23:43) it's also really deepening my connection to my work and I feel like when all of these are kind (23:48) of working in cohesion that is also when this deep magnetism for the work starts to come through (23:55) I've even just had a few enquiries through this week even though I've very much not been (23:59) advertising my work and really putting it out there and showing up because I believe that the (24:05) frequency of being in this energy is really important to have that deep conviction (24:13) and resonance behind our work that people naturally gravitate towards (24:18) so I guess this is a little recap on what I've been leaning into in the collective change and (24:25) the noise that we're consuming and creating into and actually just like calling for this question (24:31) of can we get more creative with that? Where do you feel really lit up to create for? Are you (24:38) prioritising creation outside of these confines? And where do you feel like you most naturally (24:44) connect to who your work is really for? Because maybe it is on social media and maybe it is just (24:52) about you protecting your own energy in that space and your own consumption so you can create (24:57) more inside of it. Maybe it's not social media at all. Maybe it's actually you focussing on (25:05) figuring out what it is because you're not too sure right now because I think so many of us (25:10) have just followed this rulebook where we actually don't even know what we want to do anymore.We (25:15) don't even know what would inspire us and light us up and there has to be this element of play (25:19) and exploration and trial and error within that and I very much feel that's where I'm at right now (25:25) and I wanted to share from this place where the episode doesn't make perfect sense and it doesn't (25:30) have clear chapter markers and it's not got like this shiny outcome that I can sell to you so that (25:35) you listen to it but it feels very much like it's what I'm experiencing within my world at the (25:41) moment and actually it feels kind of brain foggy because that's where I've been at and that's like (25:46) really a direct result of the scrolling I've been doing is just this real fuzziness and so I'm (25:53) hoping that in coming offline more, more of this clarity will come through. I'll have more (25:58) connection to my work and also actually really root in deeply to the energy of Changemaker rather (26:04) than just consuming so much from others that is completely contorting my ability to challenge the (26:12) narratives and to create something different so I would love to know where this kind of sits with (26:17) you if you've been experiencing similar themes or yeah if any questions arise from it. I feel like (26:23) I love having the conversations I have on Instagram but I just need to log in and log out so if you (26:30) feel inspired to do the same then I will be back updating on how this is going for me but thank (26:35) you so much for meeting me in just the idea phase of it for now.Thank you so much for listening to (26:42) this episode. I really hope that it was helpful for you and if it has made you want to find out (26:48) more of the ways you can work with me all of the information about One-to-One, my resources, (26:54) my programmes are all listed below in the show notes. If you found this helpful I would really (27:02) appreciate if you could take a moment just to write a review.This helps other creators just (27:08) like yourselves find this podcast and have an even greater impact from their services. (27:15) I would really really love to hear from you. Please feel free to get in touch with me (27:21) over on Instagram or via email both of which again you can find below.(27:27) Thank you so much for being here and until next time.