Mid Life Bites
Midlife Bites is the unapologetic, unfiltered podcast for women standing in the messy middle of life where the rules you’ve lived by stop working, the roles you’ve carried feel too heavy, and the version of you in the mirror feels like a stranger.
Hosted by Clinical Psychologist and midlife mentor Kirstin Bouse, Midlife Bites gets real about how midlife “bites” the moments it stings, why it happens, what changes in the fallout, and the surprising clarity that can come after.
Some weeks it’s just Kirstin, cutting through the noise with equal parts fierce truth-telling and deep compassion. Other weeks, you’ll hear from women who’ve lived their own “midlife bite” moments and from experts who understand exactly what’s going on beneath the surface, biologically, psychologically, and socially.
This is not another midlife makeover show. It’s a place to name the hard stuff, strip away the shame, and find your own way forward on your terms.
If you’ve been thinking, “Why the hell don’t I feel like myself anymore?” … you’re in the right place.
Mid Life Bites
Is It Perimenopause or Neurodivergence? Understanding the Hidden Connection with Karen Fossey
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What happens when the changes of perimenopause uncover something that has been there all along?
In this follow-up conversation on Midlife Bites, Kirstin Bouse welcomes back clinical psychologist Karen Fossey to explore the growing intersection between perimenopause, menopause, ADHD, and autism.
As hormonal changes reduce our capacity to manage life's demands, many women begin questioning why everyday tasks suddenly feel impossible. For some, this isn't simply menopause—it may be the first time lifelong neurodivergent traits become impossible to mask.
Together, Kirsten and Karen unpack why so many women are receiving ADHD and autism diagnoses in midlife, how masking can hide neurodivergence for decades, and why therapy plays such an important role in making sense of a late diagnosis.
Whether you're curious about your own experiences or supporting someone through this journey, this episode offers compassionate insight into one of the fastest-growing conversations in women's mental health.
What You'll Learn in This Episode
Why Perimenopause Becomes the "Great Unmasker"
Karen explains how declining capacity during perimenopause often exposes neurodivergent traits that women have unknowingly compensated for throughout their lives.
Masking Can Only Last So Long
Learn how perfectionism, over-preparation, people-pleasing, hyper-organisation, and constant self-monitoring help many neurodivergent women function for years—until those coping strategies become too exhausting to maintain.
When Everyday Life Suddenly Feels Harder
From forgetting appointments and losing track of household tasks to social exhaustion and sensory overwhelm, Kirsten and Karen discuss the subtle signs that often prompt women to ask deeper questions about themselves.
Is It ADHD, Autism, Perimenopause... or Both?
One of the biggest challenges is that many symptoms overlap. The conversation explores why proper assessment takes time and why there is rarely a simple answer.
The Emotional Impact of a Late Diagnosis
Receiving an ADHD or autism diagnosis in midlife can bring relief, grief, anger, validation, and countless questions about identity. Kirsten and Karen discuss how women process these emotions with compassion.
Why Therapy Matters Beyond Diagnosis
A diagnosis is only the beginning. Therapy provides space to understand lifelong patterns, reframe past experiences, and build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.
Self-Compassion After Years of Self-Criticism
As women begin understanding how their brains work, many discover a level of self-compassion they've never previously experienced—giving themselves permission to stop constantly pushing beyond their limits.
Key Takeaways
- Perimenopause often reduces the capacity needed to maintain lifelong masking strategies.
- ADHD and autism don't suddenly appear during menopause—they may simply become more visible.
- Many women discover neurodivergence after years of believing everyone experiences life the same way.
- Symptoms of menopause and neurodivergence frequently overlap, making careful assessment essential.
- A diagnosis can bring relief alongside grief, anger, and identity shifts.
- Therapy helps women make sense of their experiences beyond simply receiving a diagnostic label.
- Understanding your neurotype can lead to healthier boundaries, greater self-awareness, and lasting self-compassion.
Notable Quotes
"Perimenopause can become the great unmasker of neurodivergence."
"Demand begins to outweigh capacity."
"It's not that neurodivergence suddenly appears—it becomes harder to hide."
"
A diagnosis isn't always what someone needs. Sometimes they need understanding."
Resources Mentioned
- ADHD in women
- Autism in women
- Perimenopause and menopause
- Neurodivergence and masking
- Executive functioning
- Psychological assessment
- All About Her Centre
- Midlife Bites Podcast
Connect
Kirstin Bouse
- Clinical Psychologist
- Founder, All About Her Centre
- https://allabouthercentre.com.au
Karen Fossey
- Clinical Psychologist
- Specialist in women's mental health
- Yarra Valley, Victoria
- Telehealth and in-person consultations
- All About Her Centre Practitioner
If this conversation resonated with you, remember that struggling more in midlife doesn't automatically mean you're "failing." Sometimes it's an invitation to better understand how your brain has always worked.
Follow Midlife Bites for more honest conversations about women's mental health, and if you found this episode helpful, please leave a review and share it with someone who may be asking the same questions about themselves.
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Visit here to access a comprehensive resource hub for Australian women navigating menopause, offering trusted professionals, support, and information all in one place.