Man: Quest to Find Meaning
Man: A Quest to Find Meaning is the podcast for men who feel stuck, disconnected, or uncertain about their place in the world — and are ready to reconnect with purpose, emotional strength, and a more authentic way of being.
Hosted by [Your Name], each episode explores the deeper questions of modern masculinity through honest, unfiltered conversations. You’ll hear from men who’ve overcome inner battles — and from women offering powerful perspectives that challenge, inspire, and expand how we think about growth, relationships, and healing.
From purpose and vulnerability to fatherhood, fear, and identity — this is a space for men who want more than just surface-level success. It’s for those on a journey to live with intention, courage, and truth.
New episodes weekly. Real talk. No ego. Just the quest.
Man: Quest to Find Meaning
From Breakup to Breakthrough: Adam's Transformative Journey with Breathwork and Cold Water Therapy
Adam Bray, a SOMA Breath Breathwork instructor, cold water exposure coach, barefoot coach, Reiki practitioner and founder of The Human Collective.
I have spent my working life in the motor trade since I left school, taking on various roles from dealerships to manufacturing. Working hard to get to the top, I always had my heart set on getting there and becoming a service manager of a main dealer. When I finally achieved what I thought was my career goal of becoming service manager and after 5 years of practicing breathwork, I decided to give my goal up to become a SOMA Breath breathwork instructor and cold water exposure coach. I've also been living a barefoot life for around 4 years so I also decided to become a barefoot coach as this is another passion of mine!
Now, feeling fully aligned and energised, I have clarity and focus, I have direction, I have a new found confidence and I have truly found my purpose!
I love my life and my goal now is to help as many people as possible become aware of and understand what we, as humans can achieve with our own breath and pushing ourselves beyond our comfort zones.
"Become Comfortable being Uncomfortable"
If you have ever wondered how you can shift from a state of overthinking to one of profound calmness and resilience then jopin us today. Where Adam shares insights into how breathwork and cold water therapy can help achieve just that. He provides practical tips for those new to the practice, making it accessible with simple steps like starting with short cold showers. For those eager to go further, Adam discusses advanced techniques such as alternating between cold baths and hot tubs, enhancing the calming effects and building greater resilience in the face of life's stressors.
https://www.instagram.com/become.one.breathwork/
https://www.becomeonebreathwork.com/
In this episode with Adam Bray, we talk about his catalyst for personal growth, we talk about the importance of breathwork and we have a deep conversation about cold water therapy. Welcome to man Quest Defying Meaning, where we help men navigate modern life, find their true purpose and redefine manhood. Modern life, find their true purpose and redefine manhood. I'm your host, james, and each week, inspiring guests share their journeys of overcoming fear, embracing vulnerability and finding success. From experts to everyday heroes, get practical advice and powerful insights, struggling with career relationships or personal growth. We've got you covered. Join us on man Questify Meaning. Now let's dive in.
Speaker 1:This podcast episode is a little bit different than usual. So the breathwork session which Adam Bray has kindly done with us, I want to play at the beginning and at the end, so both sessions are the same, but it would be good for you to do both sessions because, from my experience doing breath work, breath work just allows you to relax, it allows you to really become grounded, to become centered, and so I thought it'd be great for us to do both sessions. But I highly recommend that you take time to stop what you're doing and partake in this breathwork session and to make sure that you don't do this session while driving or anything which requires concentration.
Speaker 2:Okay, so just breathe into your natural rhythm In through the nose, deep into the belly and then out through the mouth. Bring your awareness to your breath, paying attention to the natural rise and fall. Imagine your breath is like a calm ocean, the waves gently rolling in onto the sun, then gently rolling back out again, taking a deep breath in and out. Taking a deep breath in and out and relax. This is your time now Nothing to do and nowhere to be. In a minute we're going to start breathing to a rhythm. We're breathing in to the count of two and out to the count of four, breathing in through the nose, deep into the belly and then letting go through the mouth.
Speaker 2:I'd like you to think of a time when you felt an abundance of gratitude, happiness and love, and then think of a person or people that you feel that great love for, picture them clearly in your mind's eye and send out that feeling of gratitude, happiness and love. And think of a person or people that you've not had the best of relationships with. Picture them clearly in your mind's eye and send out that feeling of gratitude, happiness and love to them also. As we get ready to start breathing to a rhythm in two out two, three, four in two out two, three, four in two out two, two, three, four in two out two, three, four. Keep breathing to that rhythm In for two and out for four. Inhale, exhale, imagine and feel yourself sending out this feeling of joy, with a bright white light beaming out of your crown. 2, out, 2, 3, 4,. In 2, out, 2, 3, 4. How good does it feel to share that feeling of joy.
Speaker 3:2, out, 2, 3, 4, in 2, out, 2, 3, 4.
Speaker 2:In 2, out, 2, 3, 4. In 2, out, 2, 3, 4. Now I'd like you to set yourself an intention of gratitude, happiness and love In 2, 3, 4. Think about something that you'd like to bring into your life In 2, out, 2, 3, 4. What would you like to bring into your life? Imagine how good it feels to have that in your life right now. In through the nose, deep into the belly, and out through the mouth. In through the mouth Smooth, connected, conscious breath.
Speaker 3:In two out two, three, four.
Speaker 2:Breathing deep into the belly In two out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four. Belly in two out two, three, four in two out three, four. Breathing in this life force, energy and focusing on the intention that you have just set. Where focus goes, energy flows. Where focus goes, energy flows One, two, three, four.
Speaker 2:See the details of this vision in your mind's eye and imagine how good it feels to have this in your life right now. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. One, two, three, four. And now taking a deep breath, fully in, fully out and hold, dropping your chin to your chest and locking that energy in and relaxing every muscle in your body, trying to resist that first urge to breathe. But when you feel you can't hold any longer, take a sip of air in through the nose and exhale through the mouth and continue to hold, feel the energy building up inside of you. This is where the magic happens Taking another sip of air if you need to Exhale and hold, thank you. When you feel you can't hold your breath for any longer, taking a deep breath fully in and hold a breath at the top and when you're ready, exhale, return back to your normal breathing and relax.
Speaker 1:Now let's dive into the episode how you doing adam. You, okay, yeah, good, thanks, james yourself. Yeah, mate, absolutely awesome. Let's start off. Just tell us a little bit about yourself okay.
Speaker 2:so yeah, I'm adam. I'm owner of Become One Breathwork and also the Human Collective, so yeah, I'm a breathwork instructor. I do cold water therapy, I'm a barefoot coach and a Reiki practitioner as well. So how far do you want me to go?
Speaker 1:Where does your journey start? So how did you get onto the path of personal growth?
Speaker 2:okay, after a breakup really, I think about seven years ago, I found myself just looking for something new in life really and I signed up to a new gym and that was that was the start of the real start of my journey. I think I've always been a bit different to all my friends et cetera, but just, I guess I was always a bit like a sheep and just following my friends and doing what everyone else was doing, but it never really aligned with me until I found my tribe at this new gym. That's where it all started.
Speaker 1:How did the breakup make you feel? Because I can relate to the breakup, because my journey, as well as your journey, started with a breakup. Okay, and at the point at that point it was I just I got into depression, I was at my lowest and I made the decision then to really to change and never go back there. What was it within the breakup that completely changed you?
Speaker 2:Very similar to what you've just said. And I guess when you're in that relationship you don't fully realise until you're out of it how low you were. And there were points where I believe I did hit depression and I was going to work. Work was my escape to get away from the relationship and the drama that brought with it. But I look back now and there were times when I would go to work and I would just go to the toilets at lunchtime and fall asleep. I don't know, I think that was part of the depression. I just needed to rest.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, now when you look back and reflect on it, it's well, I don't know, I think that was part of the depression. I just needed to rest and, yeah, now when you look back and reflect on it, it's well, I don't so much now moved on and left that behind, but the thoughts are still there. You remember it all and, yeah, so that that really, once I got out of it, I started to look at how I was and initially it was a struggle and I was at my lowest point at that time of my life and I made the decision to turn my life around and I guess I could have got deeper into that, but I looked for things that could help me, and breathwork being one of them, and I wanted to. It helped me and I saw it help a lot of other people around me, so I wanted to learn as much as I could and share that with as many people as I can. I.
Speaker 1:I can. I don't go back to it too often, yeah, but I can connect because obviously, a lot of the people that I want to help are the people where I was then, and so I have to go back to that person. That I was to relate back to people who are perhaps in the same situation, and I was doing a job I didn't really enjoy, which I still do for two days at the moment, but it gave me that perspective that you know something I'm going to have to take responsibility for my life if I'm going to change it. Know something I'm gonna have to take responsibility for my life if I'm gonna change it and I need to do something about it. With regards to taking action and moving forward, yeah, so let's go into breathwork. What is breathwork?
Speaker 2:breathwork's amazing. That's what breathwork is it's a tool. It's a tool that we can use for so many different things. We can use it for, like we've just spoke about, depression, anxiety. We can use it to relieve pain, past traumas the list goes on. There's people that have healed autoimmune diseases and it it helps so many people and it's so. It's available to everybody, right like we can all breathe, and it's just getting people to understand how we can use our breath to change our lives can you go into some of the mechanics of how breath work works?
Speaker 2:okay. So ultimately it allows us to get into a state of deep relaxation and when we're in that state of relaxation, it allows us to access the parasympathetic and when we're there, the body can switch off and start to access the those past traumas and start to move past them and release them. Yeah, and it's just an incredible tool.
Speaker 1:So I've done breath work before and from doing breath work I get to a point of and I know there's different breath work out there and the one I've been doing is regards to that kind of breathing, yeah and but it gets me to a point where I start to, I get uncomfortable, yeah, and fear starts coming in and I almost start to come up from the breath work because there's this fear within that breath. How would you deal with the fear that comes up?
Speaker 2:oh, when you're in that state it's about because it that kind of breathing. It can I guess it does it bring back memories of anxieties and things like that. I think that's what it does. So when we're doing that side of breathing, it brings up those fears, like you said. But there's a part of us. We can either try and push past those fears and that's what breath work it does. It allows us to build up that resilience, um, or you can just take a step back in that state, take a step back, slow the breathing down a little bit. You don't need to continue pushing on with that breath and then. But it is a case of trying to build on and push past that. Eventually, if you keep doing that, you will have a huge release and and those fears will start to disappear yeah, yeah, I can understand that.
Speaker 1:How does breath work, actually work, and what can people start to do to start to incorporate their breath more?
Speaker 2:just spending five minutes a day of being conscious how you're breathing can change your life. A lot of people. We breathe short and shallow and into the chest, which most people do. We grow out of how not how we should breathe, but we grow out of the most efficient way of breathing, which is using the nose for breathing. And but a lot of people grow out of that and we just use our mouths.
Speaker 2:So just being conscious and using your nose for inhaling and exhaling and trying to focus on breathing deep into the belly just doing that for five minutes a day is a great way for people just to get into breathwork. We don't have to go to a class to do breathwork. We don't have to sit and do an online class. We can just do five minutes of breathing a day and then your body will start to realize hold on a minute. This is a better, more efficient way for me to breathe and that will become a more natural way.
Speaker 2:Then you will start to. You'll notice you're breathing through your nose more. You'll notice you're breathing deep into your belly and you'll do that without even thinking about it. So that's a great way for people just to get into breath work and then, once you start to feel that, you'll start to feel different and then you'll want to explore breath work more. You'll want to explore breath work more. You'll want to then go to those classes and explore with different types of breath work and breathing styles. So yeah, just five minutes a day of being conscious how you're breathing is a great way to get into breath work.
Speaker 1:How did breath work really affect your life earlier on?
Speaker 2:I guess it allowed me to get out of my head. Spent a lot of time in my head overthinking things, overthinking where the relationship had gone wrong and how I could have been better in that situation. But I guess, ultimately, when we get into the relationship, that we just weren't right for each other and that's okay, that's fine. We just needed to realize that. But breath work, yeah, allowed me to get out of my head.
Speaker 1:It allowed me to feel into my body and listen to my body, as opposed to just listening to the monkey mind that goes on, yeah that makes sense, because I think I know that when I'm in my head I do shadow breathe, yeah, and obviously moving, moving yourself into your belly, breathing. There's the idea that you've got to become more conscious to make sure you go, kind of thing. And so you do, you shift, become more present when, say, for example, I can imagine in your life you've had times where things perhaps haven't gone to plan and you've had points where you've had struggles. How did you deal with these struggles and how did you start to incorporate a breath more often?
Speaker 2:it's a good point and going back to just doing that five minutes a day and then that becoming a natural part of your life. Actually, those struggles become less and less. I also incorporated the cold water therapy as well, which again helps you to deal with those struggles. So the breath work and the cold water therapy combined, they allow you to build a resilience to the daily stresses, the daily struggles. Actually, I feel like I'm at a point now where I'm just floating. There's things that get thrown at you but I don't even have to think about dealing with them now. It just okay, that's happened, let's move on, let's go past that. But in the past, because, coming to the breath and the cold water, it really allowed me to clear my mind and push past those struggles yeah, I've done cold water therapy a few times and I know that.
Speaker 1:So I now and again I go through periods of time where I'll run a cold bath and I just sit in the cold bath and, yes, the first 10, 15 seconds you're going, kind of thing. But then you just easily know I can easily slip into the body, yeah, and I almost put myself within my own chest and that's where my focus goes, so I can just quite nicely breathe. And I think at one point, I think I, when I was doing it consistently, I almost fell asleep in a cold bath of water because I was in that. This is in that point of, I was in that point of comfort.
Speaker 2:Yeah, even though it's not comfortable, that's the point of comfort yeah, it's finding comfort within the discomfort, and that's what it does it, that's what it allows you to do and it as you like. You nearly fell asleep. It's a really calming place for the mind yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:How can people get started doing ice baths or cold baths? Let's say sorry.
Speaker 2:Cold showering is a great way to enter into cold water therapy, but I cold showering, I find, is harder than actually submerging yourself in a full bath of cold water, but it is a great way to start. So at the end of a cold shower sorry, at the end of a hot shower just turn the, just turn the cold on for 10 seconds to start with and then just build up on that time, gradually build up on that time and you'll start to notice how good you feel after that cold blast and people then move just to cold shower and then a hot shower is a treat every now and then. So that, yeah, that's a great way to start. Just start slow, don't? You don't have to jump into a bath of ice to start with. Start slow. Started at 15 degrees.
Speaker 2:Below 15 degrees we receive the benefits from cold water exposures. It doesn't have to be a freezing cold bath. Get into a bath of 15 degree water which is still cold. Anything below 21 degrees the human body finds cold. So at 15 degrees we will still get in and say this is cold, but it's not as cold as two degrees, right, so start at 15 degrees and start at a minute or something like that. So start slow and build up to it. That's the best way to get into it.
Speaker 1:So how can? What kind of equipment do people need, as you've?
Speaker 2:mentioned, just get in your bath. You don't need it. Some houses, some flats don't have baths, so if you haven't, you've got a shower, so just do cold showering. Ultimately, you can do it without any equipment. Most well, all houses have got showers, I believe, or at least a bath. So yeah, just all you need is cold water, which most houses got, so you don't actually need any equipment to get into it to start with. If you want to progress further and have colder things, then you can buy an ice bath and you can use it and you can fill it up with ice. But you can fill your own bath up with ice I have done.
Speaker 1:Well, I've considered buying a fridge, a chest freezer, an old one, and then sealing it up and then putting water, because I think that's the best way of regulating the temperature to get it to cold, to get to ice, let's say. Because I think, yeah, I've done it before. And first thing in the morning you're breaking the ice up and you're like, yeah, you're getting in, like it's cold, but within, yeah, you start to get into the practice of moving yourself into the body and it's that feeling that, yes, I've done it. And then, if you've got one which a lot of people haven't, but if you've got a jacuzzi which I suppose, lockdown, a lot of people bought jacuzzis it's nice to go from the cold bath, cold chest freezer, into a hot tub yeah even better.
Speaker 1:So let's go now to what kind of stuff do you run with regards to cold baths? Yeah, your business, your kind of business side of things okay.
Speaker 2:So I do weekly breathwork sessions. There's a couple of places where I do weekly classes and there that's. So some of breath is breathwork, meditation. So that's the weekly classes, and then I do monthly events of breathwork and cold water combined. And then I also do lots of retreats. I do my own retreat, so I I work with other other practitioners that their their retreats as well, offering breath work and cold water. Outside of that, I do reiki treatments. And then I'm also growing the human collective as well, so that the human collective is a directory of amazing practitioners.
Speaker 2:Anyone that delivers a holistic service, they're welcome to the human collective. So if somebody's looking for a yoga class, for example, in a certain place, they can come to the human collective. They can find what they're looking for and then they can speak to that teacher from there onwards. And we've also we're opening on the 28th of September we've just found a unit that we're going to start using. So the human collective hub as well. So we've got lots going on at the minute. So that's my business side of things. It's growing and it's amazing.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice. How do you define a healthy man A?
Speaker 2:healthy man, healthy man, being true to yourself.
Speaker 1:Can you elaborate? Yeah, be a bit deeper.
Speaker 2:Can I elaborate? Just finding what's right for you. I guess I struggle with not struggle. It doesn't matter whether we're a man or a woman, we've just got to find what's right for us in life, and we can focus on diets, we can focus on exercise, but sometimes we push too hard at those things and they're not necessarily right for us. So it's just about finding what's right for you in life yeah, that makes sense, is it?
Speaker 1:because I'm very I'm starting to really figure out what I'm meant to do and on this path there's been ideas okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna run this business kind of pt, and then something happens and you change direction slightly and I do it again and again. It's taken so many turns over the last couple of years last, probably six years now that I've never really progressed the level that I wanted. But at the same time I'm starting to pick up what I do want to work on. So the podcast and the idea of becoming almost a director, bringing people together like yourself, and to be able to run episodes like this with guests, with myself, but also to be able to go and speak, to be able to coach, to be able to do all these different things, and I think it's almost it is. It's life's a journey of figuring out what you want to do and how you want to bring it to the the world yeah, and that actually helps me answer my the question that you asked.
Speaker 2:It is life is about just accepting the journey that you're on and and not trying to fight, don't like you've. You've just said we're looking for things that we think we want to do and just accept everything that comes to you and if it doesn't feel right, then let it pass and move on to the next thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely. I find that people and I do now and again, and I think most people do they're either stuck in the past, stuck in the future, but I feel as though we're becoming more and more present. You are able to do more in that time that you have in the present moment, but at the same time, you are able to understand and take the journey one step at a time. You don't need to know the 10th or the 15th or the 20th session step down the line. All you need to know is this one step in this moment in time where you are being present and you can actually do the work.
Speaker 2:Yeah definitely.
Speaker 1:Are you able to give us a 10 minute breath session?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely Okay. So just breathe into your natural rhythm In through the nose, deep into the belly and then out through the mouth. Bring your awareness to your breath.
Speaker 3:Paying attention to the natural rise and fall Music.
Speaker 2:Imagine your breath is like a calm ocean, the waves gently rolling in onto the sun, taking a deep breath in and out, and relax. This is your time now Nothing to do and nowhere to be. In a minute we're going to start breathing to a rhythm, so we're breathing in to the count of two and out to the count of four, breathing in through the nose, deep into the belly and then letting go through the mouth. I'd like you to think of a time when you felt an abundance of gratitude, happiness and love, and then think of a person or people that you feel that great love for. Picture them clearly in your mind's eye and send out that feeling of gratitude, happiness and love. And think of a person or people that you've not had the best of relationships with. Picture them clearly in your mind's eye and send out that feeling of gratitude, happiness and love to them also. As we get ready to start breathing to a rhythm In two out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four, keep breathing to that rhythm In for two and out for four. Inhale, exhale, imagine and feel yourself sending out this feeling of joy With a bright white light beaming out of your crown. How good does it feel to share that feeling of joy? In out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four. In two out two, three, four.
Speaker 2:Now I'd like you to set yourself an intention of gratitude, happiness and love. Think about something that you'd like to bring into your life. What would you like to bring into your life? Imagine how good it feels to have that in your life right now. In through the nose, deep into the belly, breathing deep into the belly.
Speaker 2:In two out two, 3, 4. In 2, out 2, 3, 4. In 2, out 2, 3, 4. In 2, out 2, 3, 4. Breathing in this life force, energy and focusing on the intention that you have just set. Where focus goes, energy flows. See the details of this vision in your mind's eye and imagine how good it feels to have this in your life right and now, taking a deep breath, fully in, fully out and hold, dropping your chin to your chest and locking that energy in and relaxing every muscle in your body, trying to resist that first urge to breathe. But when you feel you can't hold any longer, take a sip of air in through the nose and exhale through the mouth and continue to hold, feel the energy building up inside of you. This is where the magic happens. Exile and halt. When you feel you can't hold your breath for any longer, take a deep breath fully in and hold a breath at the top and, when you're ready, exhale, return back to your normal breathing and relax.
Speaker 1:That was really enjoyable actually, yeah.
Speaker 3:Keep going, if you want.
Speaker 1:Good. Thank you very much, adam. It's been a pleasure having you on. How can people get in contact if they're wanting, if they want to do breath sessions?
Speaker 2:or any of the retreats. Most of my stuff's on breathworks. It's on instagram. It's become one breathwork, so it's become dot one dot breathwork, and it's the word one, not the number one. Yeah, that's where most of my stuff is. I've got a website Again, it's becomeonebreathwork, and the Human Collective as well. Yeah, all of those handles will show you what I'm doing and you can find me on there.
Speaker 1:Thank you very much.
Speaker 2:Thank you, James. Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure.
