Overcoming Self-Doubt: Why You’re Stuck & How to Break Free

Overcoming Self-Doubt: Why You’re Stuck & How to Break Free

Do you ever feel like self-doubt is holding you back from reaching your full potential? Maybe you have a great idea but talk yourself out of it, or you hesitate to take action because you’re afraid of failing. In this episode, we dive deep into why self-doubt keeps you stuck, how to reframe failure, and the mindset shifts that will help you break free.

🔹 Why does self-doubt exist? It’s not just in your head—it’s a survival mechanism. Your brain is wired to keep you safe, making new challenges feel risky. But here’s the truth: the fear of failure, rejection, or judgment is keeping you from unlocking your real potential.

🔹 How does self-doubt show up? It often disguises itself as procrastination, perfectionism, overthinking, or imposter syndrome. If you’ve ever said, “I’m not ready yet,” or “I need more time,” then this episode is for you.

🔹 How do you break free? We discuss actionable strategies to build confidence, take bold steps, and silence the inner critic. You’ll learn:
✅ The #1 mindset shift to overcome fear & uncertainty
✅ How to stop overthinking and start taking action
✅ The truth about failure (and why it’s not what you think)
✅ How to reframe self-doubt into confidence & growth

If you’re ready to stop doubting yourself and start living with confidence, this episode will give you the tools you need. Don’t wait for the “perfect moment” – the time to start is now!

🎧 Listen now and take the first step towards breaking free!

#OvercomingSelfDoubt #SelfImprovement #BuildConfidence #MindsetShift #SuccessMindset #FearOfFailure #PersonalGrowth #BreakThroughBarriers #AchieveYourGoals #StopOverthinking

Transcript

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In this episode, you will learn where self doubt comes from and why we all experience it. The hidden ways self doubt stops you from living your full potential. You will learn three powerful mindset shifts to break free from self doubt and a simple strategy you can use today to build confidence. Welcome to Man: A Quest to Find Meaning, where we help men navigate modern life, find their true purpose, and redefine manhood. I'm your host, James, and each week, inspiring guests share their journeys of overcoming fear Embracing vulnerability and finding success. From experts to everyday heroes. Get practical advice and powerful insights. Struggling with career, relationships or personal growth? We've got you covered. Join us on Man Quest to Find Meaning. Now, let's dive in. Have you ever felt like you're not good enough? Like no matter how much you try, that little voice in your head tells you that you're going to fail. Maybe you've had a great idea but talked yourself out of it, or you wanted to take action but something inside of you told you that you're not ready. If that sounds familiar, you are not alone.. So today, I want to have an honest conversation about self doubt. Why we experience it, how it holds us back, and most importantly, how do we break free from it? Self doubt isn't in your head. It's a survival mechanism. Our brains are wired to keep us safe. Anytime we step into something new, uncertain, unknown, our brain, our brains send a warning signal. What if I fail? What if people judge me? What if I'm not good enough? These are all normal. So if you are feeling any of these, don't worry, you are not alone. Here's some common causes of self doubt. There's fear of failure. What if I mess up? Fear of judgment. What will people think? Now, just in this exact moment of recording this episode, it's taken me five times to record it. And there's this feeling of trying to be perfect. So every time I make a mistake, I'm like, oh no, there's this fear of failure. And at the same time, of recording this episode. I feel as though almost every time I make this mistake, I feel like people are going to judge me. This person's made a mistake. He's rubbish. He shouldn't be doing podcasting. So it can happen in any moment. And this is probably, this is ideal time for it to happen because I can explain, but also at the same time, I can still take the steps to carry on. It's also the idea of comparing ourselves to others. So I might record this episode and compare myself to somebody who's been doing it for three or four years. Which then means that my episode's rubbish, so I should do it again and again until it's perfect. Alright. And then there's the idea of imp Potter syndrome. I don't deserve to be here. Who am I to do podcasting? I'm not a podcaster. So we, this is something that we all go for it. I believe that everybody has self-doubt, but it's how that, it's about how we reframe it. which makes us stronger. A couple of other stories I want to talk about. So I've been in business since 2018. And what I've noticed over the last, I think it's seven years now, is that I've had major battles myself down. Major battles. I start to progress, I start making, headway with different things, and then I doubt myself. And doubt for me might come in the way of procrastination, it might come in the way of overwhelm, it might come with the idea of, comparing myself to others. Imposter syndrome, I don't deserve to be here. Who am I to do business? I've never done a business course. Who am I to do that? During COVID, I did 86 interviews with the idea of creating a podcast on high achieving people. I did the episodes, I had them all recorded on Zoom, ready to go on to podcasting, and then suddenly, BANG! Just like that, I was hit with self doubt. Why am I doing that? Who's going to listen to what I recorded? And in that moment, I stopped myself from launching my first podcast. And this hit me really hard. I felt unworthy, I felt as though I didn't belong there, I felt as though I was worthless, and I literally have them all recorded, but I've never used them. And this for me has been so frustrating. Self doubt isn't just an inconvenience, it's something that can silently control your life, keeping you from reaching your full potential. The problem is, it often doesn't feel like self doubt in the moment. It can feel like, I'm just not ready yet. I don't know enough. Maybe I'll start next month when I have more time. I'm not the kind of person who does things like that. So first of all, let's look at why self doubt keeps you stuck in the fear of overthinking. Firstly, self doubt keeps you stuck in fear and overthinking. So think about something you've wanted to do for a while. Maybe it's starting a new career, launching a business, or just speaking up more comfortably in conversations. You probably thought about it a lot, maybe even researched it, but when it came to time to take action, something stopped you. That self doubt in action, it traps you in a thinking phase because taking action feels risky. The fear of failure, rejection, or making the wrong choice makes you hesitate. Maybe you've been wanting to start a new project. A creative hobby, or even a side hustle. But instead of starting, you research endlessly, watch YouTube videos, read books, and tell yourself, I'll start when I have everything figured out. Months pass, and you're still in the same place. Maybe you've been watching, maybe you've been wanting to start a new project, a creative hobby, or even a side hustle, but instead of starting, you research endlessly, watch YouTube videos, read books, and tell yourself, I'll start when I've everything figured out. Months pass, and you're still in the same place. That self doubt disguised as preparing. This is one thing that I do personally. I remember so whenever I get stuck, I go and plan and then once I planned, I start making progress and then I hit a block and then I plan again. I do all the planning and then I start again and then I plan. And this is a loop that I've been going through for many years, and it's only been probably the last six months where I've actually realized that this is one of my days. One of my coping mechanisms when it comes to self doubt. And so I've had to realize that it's all very great planning all the time, but without actually taking action and doing something, planning is useless. So here's the truth. You don't need more time or knowledge. You just need to start. Self doubt destroys your confidence over time. So confidence isn't something you're born with. It's something you build by taking action. But here's the dangerous thing about self doubt. The longer you avoid taking action, the more your brain reinforces that belief that you can't do it. It becomes a loop. You doubt yourself, you avoid taking action, you feel like a failure, you doubt yourself even more, and so on and so on. So imagine two people. Person A feels nervous about speaking in public, but does it anyway. Even if he messes up, they prove to themselves that they can do it. And person B avoids speaking up because they fear like looking foolish and over time they convince themselves that they're just not a good speaker. I'm going to talk about quickly about a time that I was speaking in front of, I think it was about a hundred professional speakers. I was doing this competition and I had to create a five minute speech. And I had practised and practised and practised. When it came to the day, I was nervous, yeah, and what I did was I went onto stage and I said the first sentence and within the first sentence or two I had completely forgot what I was going to say. And I could actually hear the crowd saying, Come on, James! Come on, James! You've got this! And then I started again and I forgot. Now, I had two options. Like person A and person B. The first option is I could have run off stage and avoided it completely. And, But that would only have reinforced to me that I'm not good enough. That I'm not worthy. I can't do that. I'm not a born spe I'm not a speaker. Or, I could make the decision just to roll with it. Just allow the words to flow out of my mouth. Don't worry about the speech, just talk about what comes up. And that's what I did. And during that Talk, I was the only one in that round to get a standing ovation and do you want to know why I got a standing ovation? It was because I took the courage just to talk, to overcome that fear of failure, to overcome the imposter syndrome and just to let the words flow out of my mouth. Can you see the difference between person A and person B, but also how I could have responded in both those situations. Truth here is the only way to build confidence is to take action before you feel ready. And as you take action, you become more and more confident. It requires bravery. To do it, even though you know that you are nervous, even though that you know you can make a mistake, even though you know that something could happen, you still do it. You have that bravery within yourself. This is actually just what I'm talking about, bravery. This is a great quality to incorporate into your life. Allow yourself to feel that bravery and to really step into that person who you are meant to be. Self doubt can also lead to procrastination and excuses. This is something that I've had happen to me many times. One of the biggest lies with self doubt is that it tells you, I'll start when I feel ready. But the truth is You never feel ready. Self doubt tricks you into procrastinating, making you believe you need more time, more knowledge, more experience, more confidence. But the only way to feel ready is to start before you feel ready. One of my own patterns from myself is that when I feel lost or don't know what I need to do, I will go downstairs and watch films. I've done it many a times where I've done an hour of work, and then all of a sudden I'm like, I don't feel ready. I can't do this. What am I meant to do? And then I'll find myself watching films the remainder of the day. And then I will, at the end of the day, I'll look back and think to myself, why did I do that? I could have at least done something. The truth is, readiness comes from doing, not waiting. So here are a few questions to reflect on. I want you to ask yourself, what's one thing I keep postponing because of fear? And what one action step can I take to step into that fear? Where might I be overthinking instead of taking action? If I didn't doubt myself, what would I be doing differently right now? I challenge you, take one small action step today in any area where self doubt might be holding you back. So now let's talk about three powerful mindset shifts to overcome self doubt. First one, reframing failure is feedback. Failure isn't the opposite of success. It's a stepping stone towards it. Every successful person has failed multiple times. The only difference is instead of stopping, they learn from it and keep going. Think about it. How many times did you fall before you learned to walk? As a baby, how many times did we stand up, start walking, fall down, get back up? How many times did we fail talking? How many times did we fail trying to eat with a spoon and fork? How many times did we fail trying to do different things? And then as we grow up, we get to the point where we might have one failure and then we think we're, we are an actual failure and we can't do it. And so this kind of leads on to that as adults, we need to take this baby mindset of to keep trying, keep going. If you fail, great, try again. And try again, take into account of what might not didn't work and what did work and incorporate what did work into into what you're doing. I remember when I first launched this podcast and I did an episode on my own. And it was so difficult because I would do it, I would stop, I would do it, I would stop, I would look at something that's not good enough. But in hindsight, now, I think to myself, it's all learning. Every time I record an episode on my own, I have to learn how to be able to carry on the conversation. I have to grow into thinking, okay, that I might have done this a little bit wrong. How can I make it better? And one, one thing I do as well, I asked the guest, is there anyway that I could improve how I interview you. And each time I get feedback and I incorporate that feedback into the next interview. And this way I get better. And so it's about reframing your thinking. So rather than seeing I fail, so I should quit, I see it as I fail. So now I know what doesn't work. Let's try again. So action step. Think about one thing you failed at. A project, a relationship, or a goal. What did you learn from it? If we treated that failure as feedback instead of proof that you weren't good enough, how would your mindset change? Mindset shift to stop waiting for confidence and take action. So most people believe they need confidence before they take action, but it's the other way around. Confidence is built through action. So imagine someone who wants to be a great public speaker. If they wait until they're confident, they're never going to get on stage. You've literally, you've got to throw yourself out. So if you want to become a great public speaker, you've got to get in front of people regardless of whether you feel comfortable or not. I remember when I first joined Toastmasters. So Toastmasters is a community of speakers. It's all around the globe, but it's very friendly and supportive. I remember the first 10 interviews, I was terrified. My first speech, I was shaking. It was terrifying. And I wasn't good. But I got up the next time. By the 10th time, I realized that I'm getting better. But it took that first nine times to get, to realize that I was getting better. So reframe your thinking from, I'll start when I'm ready, to I'll never feel ready. I need to start now. So what's one thing you've been putting off because you don't feel confident enough? Take one small step today. Even if it's just sending an email, writing an outline doing a rough draft, starting a podcast, or maybe it's just saying to that person that could be going on a date. It could be just taking the steps to find a new hobby, or it could be anything. Just take one small action step. It hasn't got to be big, it can be the tiniest of steps. Mindset shift number three. Speak to yourself like a friend. The question I want to ask is, would you talk to your best friend the way you talk to yourself? Probably not. I know from past experiences how I've literally tweeted myself. I'm not good enough. I always mess things up. I will never succeed. I am unworthy. How can I do that? You're an idiot. You shouldn't be doing that. How? Why? And if you told your friends this, they'd walk away. But if you told a friend that you were struggling, I'm pretty sure they would encourage you. So You'd say, you've got this. You're learning and that's okay. Keep going and making progress. So it's about reframing your thinking from I'm not good enough to I'm capable. I'm growing. I'm doing my best. So here's a great action step that you can take when it comes to treating yourself like you're the best friend. I want you to catch yourself in negative self talk today. The moment you say something to unkind yourself, pause and replace it with something supportive. And see, over the day, how it changes. Now that we've talked about three mindset shifts, I want to talk about a simple strategy to beat self doubt today. And it's called the what if it works exercise. Self doubt always asks us, what if I fail? But what if you flip that question? And instead of asking, what if I fail? Try, what if this actually works? I want you to think about something you've been holding back on, maybe starting a project, launching a business, making a big life decision, asking a man or a woman on a date, starting a new hobby, trying something that you put off for years. What if it works? What if you take a risk, and it leads to something incredible? What if this one decision changes everything? So here's the mindset shift. Most of the time, our worst fears never happen. But we let them control us anyway. So instead of obsessing over the worst case scenario, Let's start to focus on the best case scenario. Action step. I want you to take one small action today towards something that self doubt has been holding you back from. Even if it's uncomfortable, even if it's scary, just one tiny step. This is the challenge. And I want you to ask yourself, what's one thing fear has been stopping you from doing? And what one action can you take today? I would love to hear your feedback, so please leave me a comment, or you can DM me, I do have my details in the podcast. So just to finish off this episode, I want to leave one key takeaway. I want you to know that self doubt is normal, but it doesn't have to control you. The only way to build confidence is to take action before you feel ready. Please leave me a comment, DM me, and let me know What you for this episode, because the more that I get your feedback, the better, the more that I can know what topics to talk about, how, what kind of people to bring in and how I can best serve you. I'd love it if you could subscribe to the podcast, because this just means that you will see more of my content and this will definitely help you. Also, you can find me on socials.