Man: A Quest to Find Meaning
Man: A Quest to Find Meaning is the podcast for men who feel stuck, disconnected, or uncertain about their place in the world — and are ready to reconnect with purpose, emotional strength, and a more authentic way of being.
Hosted by James Ainsworth, each episode explores the deeper questions of modern masculinity through honest, unfiltered conversations. You’ll hear from men who’ve overcome inner battles — and from women offering powerful perspectives that challenge, inspire, and expand how we think about growth, relationships, and healing.
From purpose and vulnerability to fatherhood, fear, and identity, this is a space for men who want more than just surface-level success. It’s for those on a journey to live with intention, courage, and truth.
New episodes weekly. Real talk. No ego. Just the quest.
Man: A Quest to Find Meaning
Intuition, Leadership & Survival: A Woman’s Journey Through War Zones and Reality TV
In this powerful and wide-ranging conversation, we sit down with JJ — a trailblazing former Royal Air Force servicewoman, bodyguard, and reality TV contestant — to talk about the lessons life has taught her on the front lines and beyond. From serving in Berlin when the Wall fell to working in Afghanistan as a close protection officer, JJ shares gripping stories that highlight the power of intuition, authenticity, and resilience.
With refreshing honesty and hard-earned wisdom, JJ opens up about the challenges she faced as a woman in a male-dominated military system, how she earned respect through quiet confidence and competence, and why being yourself is the most disarming and powerful thing you can do. She dives into the importance of trusting your gut, even when it doesn’t make sense in the moment — because, as she learned firsthand, it might just save your life.
We explore what it means to lead under pressure, why real leadership is about empowering others, and how seemingly small acts of encouragement can change lives — especially in environments defined by structure, discipline, and danger.
JJ also reflects on her experiences on TV shows like Jailbreak and Survivor, offering a behind-the-scenes look at the reality TV world and what it taught her about human behaviour, perception, and staying true to yourself.
This episode is a masterclass in courage, self-trust, and embracing who you really are — no matter where life places you. If you’ve ever struggled with doubt, identity, or knowing when to listen to that inner voice… this one is for you.
About JJ Adams.
Third generation RAF who served for over 13 years in both the U.K. and Berlin Germany, with various detachments in the Falkland Islands, Ascension Island and the USA.
After serving in the RAF, took part in a number of reality TV shows.
During this time and to date has undergone 5 spinal operations that has resulted with her neck being 80% titanium, and a weakness of her left hand and arm and occasional leg weakness.
Worked as a close protection operative in the U.K., Europe and the Middle East. Whilst protecting international diplomats, international police personnel and other dignitaries in Afghanistan suffered a catastrophic brain aneurysm in Kabul, which resulted in various medical evacuations by road, black hawk and American aeromedical flight to Germany, where two emergency brain surgeries were carried out after the first brain surgery in Bagram where she had to be brought back to life three times.
This resulted in an element of brain damage which included blindness, inability to walk, dress, and eat amongst other things.
After intensive and extensive rehabilitation in a clinic in Bavaria was declared fit to return back to Afghanistan to continue bodyguarding.
In Bavaria in 2020 was the sole carer for her father who suffered from aggressive dementia. After he passed away, with her mother, returned to the U.K. Once back in Sussex, nursed her mother through leukaemia and Parkinson’s until she passed away two years ago.
Was the first woman to run the detention centre in the Falkland Islands, and was stationed in Berlin when the Berlin Wall fell, amongst other notable events.
Whilst in Bavaria, Germany, where she lived for 20 years, was a resident in a psychiatric unit where she was diagnosed with Complex PTSD.
Currently volunteers for a number of charities such as the Royal British Legion, and is a trustee for the Royal Air Force Association, but is mostly committed to The Not Forgotten Association where Princess Anne is their patron.
In this week's episode, I talk with JJ Adams about her experience in the male dominated job in the RAF, the fall of the Berlin War, and being the first serving woman in the Forland Islands and so much more. She talks about some of her key lessons, including always being yourself, trusting your gut. How change is scary but necessary. Welcome to Man: A Quest to Find Meaning, where we help men navigate modern life, find their true purpose, and redefine manhood. I'm your host, James, and each week, inspiring guests share their journeys of overcoming fear Embracing vulnerability and finding success. From experts to everyday heroes. Get practical advice and powerful insights. Struggling with career, relationships or personal growth? We've got you covered. Join us on Man Quest to Find Meaning. Now, let's dive in.
James:For God's sake, just be yourself. Yes. Good morning, jj. Okay. Good afternoon, jj, please tell me more. Good afternoon.
JJ Adams:I've started to learn a lot in life. We do an awful lot of trying to please everybody and the image that people want us to be or we think they want us to be. And in the end, you are just gonna get caught out and you are gonna lose out on an opportunity to just be yourself.'cause it's the easiest thing to be in life is to be yourself. When you try to convey an image, it, you get caught out. And we are all clever bud people now we are very suspicious now of anyone. If there isn't a good team of honesty in you, people are gonna be suspicious. And it doesn't get you anywhere. So just please just be yourself and that breaks down all the barriers and we can just get on with it. Just be yourself.
James:Yeah, it's, I think as human beings, we have this kind of energy field around us, and we can tell bullshit straight away.
JJ Adams:Oh God, yeah. I've got another theory. I'm, I am reasonably religious. I went to a Catholic all girls boarding school. I'm not Catholic. I'm a Christian. I have worked for Muslims, I have worked for Jews. I think my card stamped wherever I end up. And I think the biggest thing is when I get that gut feeling, I started to think it's somebody from somewhere who's just tapping me on the shoulder, who's saying not sure about this one. So I think when you get that feeling, please believe very rarely has my gut feeling let me down. And too many times I've ignored it. Far too many times. So I think that's really important. You get that gut feeling that it's a little alarm bell. It's like a little smoke alarm. Just watch out. There's something going on that's not quite right. And maybe that's somebody from my past, or maybe that's somebody that's looking over me, I don't know. But I think sometimes it's just that tap on the shoulder just saying, watch out for it. And I've also discovered do you know what you are? Probably exactly who people want to know. Don't try to be something that you aren't, because that person that you are trying to be, somebody will ignore or walk past or say you know what? That's not the person for me. And they'll smoke you out. Animals are the best ones for it. They'll suss you out straight. And children they'll suss you out. So just be you for goodness sake. Just be you.
James:Let's go back to the intuition. God, do yourself.'cause I know I've, in the past, I have gone against my intuition and I knew it was wrong, but I went down anywhere and it came back and kicked me in the backside. It's so hard to distinguish your intuition. Yeah. If you have no idea what it is. And for me, it's this nagging feeling that says, don't, it's there. It's it really hard to distinguish It really, isn't it? Because Yeah. It's, yeah. It's this inner feeling that you just knowing
JJ Adams:the worst thing is when somebody asks you, why. That's the worst thing because sometime you know that maybe down the line you're gonna have to justify why you've got that feeling. And you can't justify, and I'll give you one example. That was the best one that I had, that the most powerful one I had. And I was on a job and I had in Kabul, in, in Afghanistan. And I had my two clients in the back of the vehicle. And it was me and my driver who was an Afghan driver, super bloke, Afridi. And we were going along the road and we were supposed to be trying to get to the German embassy, which at that time was in the main, not the German, sorry, the Australian embassy that was in the same building as the US Embassy. And the route we'd already all planned to do, we couldn't get down it. And there was Afghan police everywhere. Not particularly frantic, but just not letting us go. And we thought this is a bit odd and. I just looked at REI and it was going past where the British and the German embassies were. And I said, I don't like this and I don't know why. I just said, I don't like this. And REI said, no, I don't either. I said, let's go back to base. Didn't even discuss it with the clients, but they understood they got it. And we went back and I said, sorry boss, we are not going down there. And he said, nah, that's all right. So we got into the car park, boom. And there was a, subsequently a big hole in the road outside the German embassy. And yeah, it was, even though we had the police waving us, we normally drove past them. We would normally ignore them because we have the right of way or we push past them. But this one time that we never do it this one time that we would normally go no we've gotta get there. We actually thought, nah. And it was both me and Alfredi and we just went, nah. And it was a biggie. We would've been right on top of that one. So there are things that, that, that was the one that was the strongest gut feeling. And I've always in the industry that I was in when I left the military it's never let me down. And it comes to it when you work with people, when you've got people coming onto your teams, you get a feeling. And yourself, you think, I've got no justification for not gelling with this person. I've got no reason or any background as to why this isn't good. But it's never, ever been wrong. Never. So just follow it and be yourself because you could trigger a gut feeling to somebody else. I don't know. But never, it's never let me down. Never. And then you get that gut feeling about people you get on with. And for some reason you think I'll get on with them, they're all right. And you've got no reason, again, to be so strongly connected with that person either. But I've, but it screwed me up with relationships. I have had those gut feelings, but then they've been clever, so and sos and yeah, I should have listened. And those, a couple of them gave me disastrous con consequences. So yeah, listened to your gut and be yourself for God's sake.
James:So and so I know you as human beings, we can start to train our intuition once we are able to identify it. Yes. Are there any key signs or any key things which happen? So maybe, I don't know, you might have a smell or something happens inside your body. Is there any key signs that you have that indicate to you that it's, this is your intuition speaking.
JJ Adams:It's my body. There's just, it's almost a. I know this is a little bit of a contentious situation, but you know that lovely clip of her majesty at the wedding of Harry and Meghan, and there's that clip where she does that shudder. Now, we don't know why she shuttered. It could have been just because she was a bit cold, because she was in, in the chapel. I don't know. But there's a shudder, there's a don't know about this person. There's just that feeling. I think everybody's had it. I think everybody's gone through that and felt it, but no, no smells, but smells are massive triggers. I, I will say that, that smells can be a huge trigger. I've been to places and you've had a smell and you've, it's instantly taken you back somewhere. And those memories can be lovely, but some of them can be flipping horrible. I think there's a lot to be said for smells. Sounds are everything. Sounds are music, sounds is a tone of somebody's voice, sounds of the way that that things come across to you. They're very obvious as our sight, but feelings and smells. They're things that are difficult to translate across to somebody else. To explain you, you almost have to give an analogy. God, I'm going on about cabal. But when I first landed in cabal the very first time, which happened to be Greater Day, and it was the old airport terminal before the new one had been built, and I walked in there off the aircraft and the smell, it was East Berlin. I'd been obviously I was stationed in Berlin for four years and got, went over to the east quite a lot. And that smell, it was really weird. But of course the Russians had built the airport, so maybe that was something, I don't know. But the smell hit me. I thought, God, I it side was another place. I smelt it was in Belgium and it wasn't Belgium. It was where I'd lived in Holland with my parents. And it was a smell. And I thought, my God, I'm back. I'm back at my script. It's just those things that, and they can be lovely. They could be comforting or they can be, the one in Afghanistan it was almost it was almost watch out girl, you're back over the east. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. It's gonna be tricky. And maybe that was designed, I dunno, I doubt it, but I think smells are clever. But definitely it's that shutter. You just you know when, oh God, this is an awful thing to say. And I think there are a lots of women who will equate to this, but when you see a chap and he looks at you and you think, nah, and the best analogy I can put to it, he looks at you as if he knows what color knickers you've got on.
It's, it
JJ Adams:sounds awful. And I said to other girls, do you ever have that with such and such? And Oh, yes, I know exactly what you mean. There's certain people that you think, no, but then. You can have preconceived ideas of people because of what you have seen on the media what you've read about, what you've heard about, and you'll have a preconceived idea about somebody and think, oh, I don't think I'd get on with them. And then when you've met them in the flesh, they've been fabulous. They've been absolutely the nicest people. And then it's worked the other way as well. There've been other people that I've admired and I thought, oh, I quite like them. They're, I know I'd get on with them. And when you've met them in the flesh. Oh no, absolutely not. You can have a preconceived idea about a famous person. Maybe you think they're arrogant because they look good, or they're a particularly elevated person in their career or their society, or they're in their, their environment. And actually they're very nice and very humble people. The best person I can say about that recently is I've been very lucky to have met Matt Goss a couple of times who used to be in Bross. Do you remember? No. Lovely guy. And he's a singer and his brother is an actor. Now. They're twin. They were twins and a Bross. And Matt Goss, an astonishingly good looking bloke was on strictly come dancing. Not recent, not so recently. And he's just sung a song for a charity I'm associated with, and I've met him twice now. And what a lovely bloke with no face. No posturing, nothing. And very humble and very passionate. And that was a bit of a surprise'cause I thought he'd be a bit of a, oh, I'm a bit of an I am and I'm a good looking dude. And he couldn't have been any different. Couldn't have been any different. Very nice. You could get caught out by what you have perceived in, if you like, the two dimension. But when you see something in the three dimension, it's completely different. Same with places. Pictures of gorgeous places and then when you end up going there, they're horrible. They're not what? Is the pyramids, isn't it? The pyramids. Beautiful, spectacular, fantastic. And surrounded by slums. It's those perceptions. So we also have to be like that about other people. But don't ever ignore that instinct. It's caught me out. And I've also ignored it. Fortunately thank goodness at that time for, no, sorry, I haven't ignored it when I ne really needed to. I didn't ignore it. I listened to it and I reacted to it. Whereas the times that I've ignored it is caught me out.
James:Me out. It's funny you've mentioned Bul twice and East Germany. Obviously we know in the military. Can you tell us who are you? What is your story, jj?
JJ Adams:My background is that I am third generation Royal Air Force. My father and I. Pretty much served at the, we served at the same time. My, I certainly didn't do the years he did. My grandfather, my other grandfather was in the Navy. My uncle was in the RAF as well. So I, I joined the Royal Air Force. I joined a trade, which my father was horrified, but I joined it. But it was fantastic where I was basically Ed, not police but discipline. And the caveats of my job was this was running guard rooms, prisoner handling courts marshal looking after the cells. I was the first woman to, to run the the cells in the Falkland Islands, which was very interesting. Loved the Forland Islands. I really was, it was almost an honor to be down there. And I was stationed in Berlin four years, and I was there at the time when the war fell. And that was a, certainly an interesting time because we exercised for everything, but we certainly didn't exercise for the war falling. So that became a very interesting time. And when I left the REF, I pretty much went straight into close protection. I did lots of other jobs in between contracts because you don't always get a straight through contract for careers. And I worked for a period of time. I looked after celebrities, which was interesting. That's the queen's. Interesting. I worked as well for royalty. Overseas royalty, foreign royalty, which very interesting and wonderful people. And I then worked in Afghanistan where I worked as close protection for Australian Federal Police the chief of the defense staff of Finland on a job we used to. And I also was on a contract where I was doing close protection for on occasion the British Embassy, and also the civilian poli the police, the foreign police that came from all over the world and Europe, particularly European police who were there in Afghanistan to help out training and redressing the police system in Afghanistan, across Afghanistan. So I used to look after people that came out for that, and the diplomats that came out as well. So that was what I was doing
James:and that was my
JJ Adams:background.
James:Obviously this, as you mentioned also before we spoke here about TV being on TV, a survivor and stuff.
JJ Adams:Yeah. Yeah. When I came out of the military I, I did work as a pa I did some PA work, which I really did enjoy that. That was good. Hard work. So that was something between my contracts. I did work for a a rep company that asked for people to help them out. And then I thought, oh, I'm gonna go, let's go for this. And the first one that came up was jailbreak. And it was, they wanted 10 people, five women and five men to break out of a taxi prison and win, win a lot of money. I thought, that'll be a laugh. Oh, let's go for that. Let's just do it for a laugh. And everything was just for the experience. And when I phoned up this contact number, they said we'd like you there, because I, had a lot to do with prisoners. And yeah, it was great. It was very frustrating because it was almost my first intense experience. Working with civilians in such close proximity to them. And that was tricky, that, that was interesting to motivate or to get them going. It was it, yeah. That was very interesting. But it also was lovely to be able to use your military skills and motivation and planning and problem solving and keeping everybody going and, we've got this and Yeah. That, that was brilliant. So I did jailbreak and technically I, allegedly, I won it, but it wasn't something that was publicized. But I won 20,000 pounds because the girls got outburst. It was, which helped towards the house I just built, I just bought. Yeah, that, that was super. And then it, that was just fun. And then Survivor came up and I didn't know anything about Survivor in the States and how massive it was. And I thought, oh, I'll go for that. Now. That was a bigger one. There were a lot of people that went for that. Went for it because of its reputation in the states. I didn't know an awful lot about that. And I went for Survivor and I got through to that. But that was, I wasn't at all prepared for the the game playing. I was prepared for the actual experience and the challenges, but I was certainly not paying prepared for the mind games. Not at all. And the interesting fact was they got rid of the military pretty quickly. That was quite interesting. It was a bit hurtful because, and it was interesting that people recollected certain things, but I was more horrified. That there was a particular contestant who wore a uniform who was a blue light contest, blue light individual. And their behavior I thought, was it, I didn't really want to be a part of this if this is how their moral behavior was. And it was not good. And they did get outed. And I think the fact that happened tainted it for the public to a degree, I don't know. But it's been a long break since they've had the next survivor. And I don't think that's gonna be recommissioned, which is a real shame because I think it's an incredibly clever series. A very clever series, too clever for me. I think that's why I didn't get through so quickly. But then I did a couple of others, I did a show called Presenters, which was about choosing a TV presenter. So I made it to the final of that. And I knew I wasn't going to get win that one because I've been on other stuff, which was fine, but I learned so much on that one. And it was great and did quite a bit of TV from the back of that. And then I did bad Lads Army and I am a huge advocate for bad Lads Army. Seeing these young men who had very rough times in their lives going completely down the wrong tracks of their lives in a very short space of time through very strict structure and discipline with the added edge of it being. Focused on the 1950s era those lads have done so well. I am so incredibly proud of the ones that came out in the end, and even the ones who decided or walked out or had to leave, how their lives have changed. And I'm so proud of them and I'm in touch with most of them as well. They've been amazing.
James:Sarah, it sounds like you've you've had your fun on tv.
JJ Adams:Yeah it's, TV is just, it's very much here and now. I think people get a little bit worked up about trying to be on tv and that's where I've said to people, when you've done things like reality TV and you go for your interviews or your selections, and this is in every form of life with your interviews and selections, just be yourself. Because people have asked me, how did you get on so many reality TV shows and other stuff? I said, because I'm me. And that is who they wanted. They wanted me. And for example, like jailbreak, one of the girl, the ladies that I had in the cell with me, one was a university graduate, one was a granny that ran a gas showroom. One worked for British Airways, who tested all the kit that went onto into a flight, like the food and the equipment and stuff. And the other one was a porn star. And that was a heck of a mix, but we were picked for reasons. For example, when we did Survivor, we had to do a psychometric evaluation, which is the same one that NASA uses for selecting astronauts and. It was, we were obviously not being selected to be astronauts, but all of our psychometric valuations were being put through this test to see that we would either fit or not fit, or whether we mirrored somebody within our group or whether we mirrored somebody that was in the other tribe, whether we would fit or not fit, which makes it interesting in the mix for television. And it was such an incredibly clever test. You couldn't fix or fudge it. You couldn't answer a question how you think that they might want to hear. If the example, one of the questions could have been, are you adventurous? You could have said yes when you're not thinking that's what they want to see. But when you carried on with that psychometric evaluation test, you'd find yourself contradicting maybe a statement you've said before, but the statement you've said in both cases have been correct. Very clever stuff. Far out of my pay, pay scale. But that's where I say to people, just for goodness sake, be yourself. It's very important because you will get caught out. You will.
James:Yeah. We said that, didn't we? With energy and stuff. Yeah. Let's go back to when you joined the RAF. How did you find going into a very male dominated job? How did you find it as a
JJ Adams:woman? Initially my job was very female orientated, and it was quite easy then because I'd been to an all girls boarding school and it was just like boarding school, but then my trade had to amalgamate with the men's branch, and boy that was loaded. With testosterone and men and IT com, my job completely spun on its axle in that I then became a drill instructor for men, a sory instructor, bayonet instructor, rifle drill, all of that. I was very much a male dominated trade. In fact, some of the men in the trade when we moved the US when we moved into it, left the REF because they didn't want us there. So we already were pitching up with a very heavy discrimination against us. And it was a case of being, I'm not having this, you're not doing this to me. I have nothing to prove to you. You have nothing to prove to me. I'm here to get on with my job. And I did experience horrific bullying. That I remember so distinctly, oh, jj, you are not doing drill, because we do the drill. And I thought, hold on a minute. I've got all the Q annotations. Because at that time, each facet of drill instructor had a separate Q annotation, which is a qualification code, and they didn't. Now, of course they were, very good at what they did, but it was this dismissal of me as a woman that I would be able to do this because I was all, we are doing it. You are, you don't have to do it. You stay in the guard room. And just, and I was absolutely raging and I did get my opportunities to, to do the drill, obviously. It it had to be because somebody had to do it. And I took very great pleasure on the first time I did it in front of, we had three flights of 50 with three flights. With three squadrons. So there were three flights of 50 and three in each squadron, and we had three squadrons. So we had a lot of people on parade. And I stood in front of them and I said, lads, I bet you've never been drilled by a waf wearing a skirt before. And I deliberately wore the skirt psychologically because I wanted them to see that I am a woman and I am female obviously, but I'm a woman and I can do this. And you could see a little bit of sideways glances and, oh God, what the hell have we got here? But then your strengths as an instructor, your strengths with your ability, that comes through. And one of the nicest things when we then did another parade later on in, in the year. I got everybody formed up at the guard room, the old clipboard ready to mark everybody off. And I overheard one of the lads saying, oh great, we got JJ again. And I was so chuffed because I've done it right in that drill is not what like everybody likes to do. So you've gotta make it interesting. You've gotta make it that they want, not that they want to come back, but you don't try get them trying not to come back. You want them to enjoy what you have a passion for. And if you can transmit that passion to other people, a lot of the time it will rub off. It will always rub off. Something will rub off. And that was so important to me to overcome not over the stigma of being a woman doing this, but the stigma of that they didn't think you were qualified to. So you've got to give them the enthusiasm that they're enjoying you what watching you do it. And teaching them. And that's nice. When you overhear things like that really does make your day. But you used to walk into places because the other thing being called jj or known as jj one time in Kabul not one time, all the time. They'd be told that, that JJs gonna come and pick you up or JJ Iss gonna do this. Or you've got jj they think JJ iss probably some six foot three Marine. And then I turn and you see the double shock and a double bounce and a bit of an eye roll. You don't mind that so much'cause that's expected, but it's when you are dismissed because you're a woman. That absolutely enraged me. And when you did get the praise, it was pushed aside and it hurt. It hurt like hell. So you basically lived being second class without a shadow of a doubt. Absolutely until they suddenly realized they needed you. We had a girl on one of the squadrons, bless her. She was on 10 Squadron at RF St. Athens, which was tornadoes. And she went in and she was lovely girl, blonde, good looking girl, first girl to go onto that squadron. And I thought, come on, you can do this girl. And she eventually became very valuable because she had tiny hands and her tiny hands could get down into the nose cones of the tornado. She'd get borrowed by various teams because of her physical size was an absolute asset for working on aircraft. So all of a sudden actually they're not that bad. But the bullying it carried on through the bodyguarding, it carried on through Kabul. It, it carried on with the assumption that I didn't know what I was doing. And it wasn't until. On one contract, I had a brilliant bloke that was in the ops room. He was X two two SAS. And some clients were saying, we don't want JJ to do the bodyguarding. We don't wanna take her at us out. And he turned around and said, do you realize she's the most qualified person within this compound? She's got more experience, more qualified qualifications, and she's the best we got. But yeah, and it was normally, funnily enough women that didn't want it. But there were other guys that were sensational, very respectful. There were guys that totally respected what you'd done, where you'd got yourself to, they knew that you wouldn't be there unless you knew precisely what you were doing, that you were up to the mark. And at the end of the day, you've got people's lives in your hands. And that is an absolutely huge responsibility for me, for my company, for the guys that I'm standing alongside. If I fail, they fail. If they fail, I fail. It's not an option. You have to be the best. And if you feel you can't be, please at least be honest. Nobody will ever knock you down for being honest. They probably admire you more, undoubtedly admire you more. Yeah, I did have a lot of issues being a woman and having to prove myself. It happens all the time and it's very sad. It's very sad. You are almost treated as the I don't know, the box tick. Does that make sense? Yeah,
Yeah.
JJ Adams:I did get that for a while. Oh, they've only got you here because you've got a lumpy jumper. And to a degree on the first contract, that was true because we'd be going to areas in Afghanistan where there were only women could get access to, but then on that contract, I was actually working shoulder to shoulder with the guys and we didn't actually have anything to do with women on that contract. So it did actually work well, but Funnily enough. I didn't get any description from the senior Afghans. That was fascinating. There was in, in fact the head of the Afghan police, his, at the time, his second language was German and I speak German and he apologized to my client who had a meeting with him and apologized to me. He said I didn't realize that you spoke German. And I said no, that's okay, sir. It's not an issue. And the head of the cabal police, his second language was French, and that's my second language. And he was very charming and he would always make sure that the colonels would make me tea and things like that. So it's very strange that in that environment, in that culture, at that level, I was quite respected. So that was nice. It, it comes
from
JJ Adams:places. It does come and other places there's a lot of arrogance. But again, a lot of it is fear. It's a fear of can she is not so much, is she better than me? But can she? And when you're dealing with people's lives, then of course you can understand that concern. You really can.
Yeah.
JJ Adams:It's, and it is. And that's a human trait. Yeah. But there was one guy, he was quite funny. He was a Finnish colonel and he said, JJO, we are very worried. We've never ever had secur civilian security to, to do our close protection for. He said, we're very worried. And I looked at him and I said, sir, he said, yes, and I don't wanna die either. And he said, yes, very good point. Very good point. Trust me, I wanna be, I wanna walk home at the end of the day too.
James:It's, I think in our society and probably a lot of other countries, there's a, there's almost a fear of change. Oh, I think I can imagine in the armed forces, especially over the centuries, how much it's just been stuck. And in fact, I'm sure there's been wars or battles are lost because they didn't wanna change.
JJ Adams:Oh, crumbs, yes. It's it's a very tricky thing. I always believe that politicians should have a degree in history before they become politicians, because how many times do mistakes get repeated? There's also a lot of dismissal of how things we, how we did things in the past without realizing that. So many of these things have been tried and tested so many times that we know that doesn't work. So why are we doing it again? But here we go. Life is always a case of circles.
Yeah. But
JJ Adams:we do have to evolve. I or we are not just gonna get stuck, which some people like that stickiness, they like that routine, they like that foundation. But there's certain things we really do have to evolve and listen and take on board. Where someone's trying something different because God, we would never have done, we wouldn't have walked on the moon. We wouldn't be trying vaccines. We wouldn't, I don't know. It's, it is a fear factor of the familiar, the routine. Routine is so precious. We have it drummed into us from the day we are born. The day your mother has gives birth to you, she has the routine of feeding you, the routine of caring for you. Then we have the routine of being brought up, the routine of learning how to read and write and going to school. Our lives are routine are huge, massive routines and structure, which they have to be. Otherwise, a civilized society will not work. So when they come that little sidestep or that side lurch, this is where we then have to learn how to deal with it. Hopefully from our past we've also learned how to sort it out if anything goes wrong. And that's where I'm quite a big believer in not having done something wrong or incorrectly. We've tried something. It's not what you do wrong that matters or that doesn't work. It's what you do after it's gone wrong or doesn't work. It's identifying the line to be drawn that's not working right. Let's look at something different. And that's when you've gotta have the courage to stick your head up and talk to the people around you and say, look guys, we got ourselves a situation here and I'm stuck. Wow. The respect you would get from saying that. Whereas if you carry on bullheaded charging in your own way, you've not got a team around you that's gonna back you up because they can see you all going wrong around you as well. That respect's gone. Whereas if you, or even just drawing breath and saying, right guys, everybody good? Are you good? Are you good? Is this going okay? Anybody got any problems? Say it now. Right now. Okay. Let's keep going. Do that body check. Don't be so arrogant. As to believe that you've got all the answers. Use your team. It was something I'll never forget it, it was when I did jailbreak, the reality TV show, jailbreak, when you were in this prison, you had to break out of it. There were two, the two teams, the girls teams and the boys teams. We also, the public used to contact the television show. It was on, on the internet and live and all the rest of it. And people could email, text, or message in support or suggestions or clues or tips to help us get outta this prison. But what was, and we used to get five, what we call jail mail a day on a computer. So we'd go into the jail mail, sit and read our mail, see what was being said, and get back to you. And a lady had come, she brought, sent in a message to me, particularly from Finland, and she said, you, if you are going to be the leader, you should be able to do everything. That's not true at all. The leader doesn't do everything. The leader isn't capable of doing everything or maybe doesn't have experience in doing anything. The leader is the person who identifies the skillset within their team and adapts them into the position that gives that team that strength. And when it isn't working, then you reassess that team. It doesn't mean that person's better, that person's stronger, that person's more intelligent, or that person's more physical. It just means you've got the right people in the right roles. It's, when you are hungry, the most important person is the cook. When you need to get somewhere, the most important person is the driver. Every person is absolutely key within a team. And to have the arrogance to believe that you are the leader that you can do all of that is well is dangerous, frankly. And you're gonna lose your team if you do that. I also found. On bad lads army, particularly when I had these guys and they were all horrible little so and sos, they were nightmares. But what I find was nobody had ever told them when they've done something all they'd ever had was being shouted at or told they were rubbish or useless or whatever. When you started to praise them for what they'd done, they were looking at you sideways as if to say are you sure sir, or are you sure? Court price? I said, yeah, of course. I'm sure. Why do you think I said it, idiot? And it was that went such a long way. And it's that analogy. If you beat a puppy enough times, it will turn around and savage you. But if you give that puppy praise when it's done very well, it will be as loyal to you to the day it die. And I think, and it's not manipulation, it's manners to be appreciative to say thank you, to say somebody's done something. To tell a chef he's cooked a lovely meal to say thank you to somebody for cleaning your car nicely oh God, it goes an awful long way. It just goes such a long way. I've noticed since COVID, people are a lot chattier at places like the tills at the shopping center because we didn't have contact for so long, and of all of a sudden we've got our contact backs again. But I think sadly, it's starting to go again. We were we were nice to each other during COVID. We were all lovely to each other. We all supported each other. And I'm, and it just seems a shame that's slipping away. I don't know.
James:Yeah. I think, remember at the fire service whenever there's a I am in the fire service still, but whenever there's a job gone wrong, whether that's in the whole or country, we, they have a look back at the incident and see what they could have done different, see where it went wrong and this act and sent out to all fire services in the whole of the UK as learning points.
JJ Adams:Yeah, it's so important. I cannot stand that expression. Lessons will be learned'cause nine times out of 10, the person that's saying it is the person who didn't listen to the lessons in the first place. And that really does annoy me. It's such an overused expression. Lessons will be work, blood. It's ineffective now. It's what it's like I said, you can say whatever you like, but when something goes wrong, it's what you do. When that's got wrong, it's how you address it. When it goes wrong. It's smash an egg on the floor. Don't leave it. Clear it up. Yeah, you accidentally dropped it or you threw it on the floor at the temper. Yep. Fine. Very good. Now clear it up. Just sort it out. We all do things, but just sort it out and start being a little bit more emphatic because it could be you, it just could be you that's having that really rough deal. Because we've all been there for goodness sake. We do make mistakes. We do silly things. We do make poor judgements because here comes jj again, not listening to her gut, but it's supporting people. The times you think God for the love of God, that could have mean, that could have been me. That could have been me and or that could be me. And let's support those people because, gosh, when it's happened to me that I've had some most incredible help and support sometimes from places in the most unexpected places. And people who at a time when I was hearing people not believing in me, people very close to me overhearing conversations. But then you are surrounded by others who do believe in you and they've then get you through it. That goes a very long way. And that's something as well as believe in yourself for goodness sake. If you believe you can do it, please do it. And another thing I've learned, and we should have almost had this is the strap line is oh, here's the big one. Just do it. It's good old Nike, just do it. As we discussed before, my life changed in a nanosecond and nobody could have predicted it. And in fact, my brain surgeon said if he knew why or how he would be a billionaire. And I've learned from what happened to me is never, ever put anything off. If you can do it, don't say, oh, maybe we'll do that next year. Do it now. If you can do something, do it now please. Because everything can change in an absolute heartbeat. And I think most people will know of or experienced incidences where that's occurred to them or they've seen occur to somebody else. And that's a really big thing I do. Don't put it off. Just do it and don't apologize for doing it. Oh I know I didn't do this, so what? The carpets will hoover at some stage. Windows will be cleaned at some stage. Don't put something off because you need to tidy the garage out. Just go and do it. It's so important. Just do it. Just clean. Just do it. Just do it. Yeah. Yeah. I, my life, I mean that nanosecond instantly blind her died three times. We could go on and it really has taught me, it taught me that, and to believe in yourself. It's really, yeah. Very much
James:I was, it was 89, wasn't it, when the bull, the Berlin Wall fell.
JJ Adams:Yes, that's right. Yes. Yes.
James:So I would've been, I would've been four at the time. Oh God.
JJ Adams:So
James:what was it, what was, to be able to witness the fall of the Berlin walks Frightening. It's frightening. Imagine nobody's going, most people won't know what it's like.
JJ Adams:It was frightening because it was so fast and it really was frightening. And then we tried to sneak out of camp to get down there, but we got stopped because obviously we didn't know what was coming over that wall. If you think on another level, Puting going into Ukraine, said he was doing it to help Ukraine and. How did, and look what happened? It went down on an adminis administrative, not error, but a junior defense minister in the east rubber stamping something that was being discussed but hadn't been yet planned. And it happened. The biggest fear we had was that somebody was gonna turn around and say, oh no, this is a big mistake. Put the barriers back down and that, the whole planet was celebrated. There were parties in every capital city around the world. That was something that blew us away, and we were right in the epicenter of it. But then it all happened very quickly as you saw, it was just, it couldn't be stopped. And that was the power to the people. I think the poor East German border guards really didn't know. These poor guys all of a sudden were being inundated by us evil ies. It was just joyful. One thing I did do, I was very lucky to do, and it was all a fluke. I was going back, I was going over to East Berlin on the, it was the 20th of December because they decided to have a proper official meeting underneath the Brandenburg gate of the two chancellors to make a bit of a ceremony of it, because it was all a bit, like a mad festival and. I happened to be in East Berlin on that day in my number one uniform because we still had to wear our uniforms to go over to the east because there was still the four Nations agreement. Nothing had been signed, nothing had been finished, nothing had been, amended and over. I went and I thought, I'm gonna go to the pen and bur gate. Oh my lordy. I have never seen so many people in an A place where it wasn't controlled and there were cranes with film crews on them. And the one thing I can still hear now is the public tapping on the wall because we were right next to the wall.'cause the wall was on, the Brandon Gate, bird Gate was in that little no man's land island and we'd never ever been in there because you could only see it off viewing platforms. The only people that went where the Brandenburg gate were East German guards. So to sunny find yourself eventually standing underneath the Brandenburg gate. And looking at the bronze plaques and suddenly realizing, because I couldn't see anybody in British military uniform, that I was probably the first person under there since 1961. And it really hit me. I saw an American in his uniform, and that was it. And it was just mind numbing. And I was then interviewed by a TV crew, news crew, and in English asking What do I think? And I'm thinking, oh no.
And I
JJ Adams:just said I said, I can't make any official statement. And he said, no, I know you can't. He said, but as a human being, I said, oh my goodness. I said, it is wonderful. How can this not be wonderful? And he was beaming. I said, and then this little old lady came up to me and you knew what she'd seen in her life, and she gave me the biggest hug. And she gave me a little tiny two inch straw angel, the one that you hang off a Christmas tree and that I still have. And she's upstairs and she's the most precious thing I own from that time in Berlin. And it was, and then it all got a bit horrible because the East Germans came over and everything they've been told was propaganda wasn't. They were told that because anything of any significance that they had in their houses, like washing machines or televisions they rented from the state, they didn't particularly own. And they were so out-priced that they couldn't own them. So when they were seeing us over the east with our cars, our lovely cars, they were told that we were given these by our government to piss them off, basically propaganda to. Then when they discovered that you could walk into Sadie's dealership and put a down payment down and then drive away with a car, they suddenly got very angry. And that all that they'd been told was a lie for their whole lives was a lie. And it got quite horrible. My daddy at the time lived in Bavaria. He was stationed in Bavaria in on a NATO unit down in Ober, Ambiga. And obviously I'd go down and visit them and all of a sudden in this beautiful cuckoo clock, tourist village, absolutely gorgeous, very religious, there's graffiti and there's rubbish and there's nastiness where the ties were coming over. And they would push in front in the queue saying we've cued all our lives. It's your time, it's our turn to be at the front of the queue. They would order a meal and walk out, not pay for it, saying you can afford it. And there was a very big. Social has between the east and the west. But then fortunately they then, obviously the west then had to bring the east up to European standards, and that meant a lot of work on the rails, a lot of work on the motorways power stations. Every single thing had to be brought up to spec. And that cost a fortune, as you can imagine. But it was one thing I do remember, which was a massive privilege. I was in a helicopter, a gazelle from seventh flight Army Air Corps above Checkpoint Charlie, the day that checkpoint Charlie was lifted with all the heads of state. And it was very bizarre because the first time I'd been in the helicopters, it they'd been mending the wall and repairing it and replacing it with fence and making it thicker and stronger and higher and bigger. And now I'm in a helicopter and I'm watching people driving through it. Very, I would've said easily 10 minutes before it happened. If someone said, the war's gonna come down in your lifetime. I'd say never. Absolutely not. It was a fascinating era, and then we discovered we had stars. Its boys working on our camp. It'd been there for years. Oh gosh. Yeah. That was interesting. That was another interesting story. But yeah, it was a very fascinating time in history and to be there touching it and feeling it and smelling it. Yeah. Huge. Huge.
James:It's surprising how the, how easy it is to control people when you have the right resources.
JJ Adams:Yes it was actually it. Our feelings were pitiful and we were actually instructed in Berlin, we were not allowed to buy anything that was a necessity. Children's clothes, food. Anything that was day to day we could not buy because there was such a shortage of it for these people. If you went into the market in Berlin, they had a fruit and vegetable market, and what you saw was it. There wasn't a truck at the back full of extras to go into the to, to stock up. That was it. And it was all homegrown produce. There were no oranges, there were no bananas when the wall came down. The things that ran out in the west, supermarkets in West Berlin were things like bananas, pineapples, mangoes, oranges, anything that was not grown naturally within your own environment. Anything that was shipped in, it was fascinating. Chewing gum that went straight away. Chewing gum. You couldn't get batteries. They bought batteries like you wouldn't believe anything that could be powered like by a battery, like a boogie box or a radio or anything like that. All of this just went and disposable nappies, that was another thing. They just stripped it. It was as if there were locusts pounding down on those on the supermarkets and just taking everything because they didn't have access to bananas. They didn't have access to pineapples. They could have something that tasted of pineapple or tasted of a banana with a chocolate or a sweet, or a treat, but they never actually re I suppose rare occasions, but they didn't have them. And as much as that seems ridiculous, it's the God's honest truth. When you used to go over to the East, you would see cues outside various shops before they'd opened. And don't forget, Berlin was the capital of East Berlin, of East Germany. And you tell, what's that queue for? And the word had got out to the people, the citizens that broom Heads Mophead, had been delivered in that particular establishment. And they were queuing up for them. And that blows you away. Toilet paper was bought by the roll in the stationary department of the department stores, and it's like our hand towel paper, not lovely quilted stuff that quala bears, like it was it was really a massive eyeopener to see that side of things. But then I did actually buy and I did laugh. I did buy a big set of crockery from one of these shops and it was lovely stuff and I turned it over and it said, made in the DR dishwasher safe. And I thought, who the who's, who on earth has got a dishwasher when they're renting a black and white tv? Yeah it was that power of control. And that is something that is really concerning, is that freedom of just being able to choose. The cars, the T bank cars, to buy a T Bank car in the east, you had to have paid a down payment of half its value to order it. And then it could take three to five years and you would've paid it off by the time you got it. And you couldn't choose what it was. You couldn't choose the color, anything. You just got it. And then you were allocated a petrol station and it was all two stroke engines discussing things. And they could only get their fuel station, their fuel from that particular nominated fuel station. So if they wanted to go anywhere, they could only go as far as half a tank of fuel.
James:Fuel. Okay. Okay.
JJ Adams:And that is control. Terrible.
James:Let's now move to the Forland Islands. You mentioned about the Forland Islands and being the first one on the Forland Islands. How was that for experience?
JJ Adams:I turned up there. First of all, I was told I was going to the Forland Islands. I went and I've been very lucky because I hadn't gone because the various postings I've been to, I wasn't able to go to be detached because of the operational nature of the unit. So off I went and it was the 4th of July, so it was winter and I have never, ever known cold like it despite being in Berlin where boy, it gets cold and living in Bavaria. And I was told I was going to 38 facility and not 12 facility, now 12 facilities where the women all lived. And it was the REF end of the, of Mount Pleasant, which is the base there. 38 facility was the old facility, the bottom where the Residential Infantry company were and the Marines. The Royal Military Police and me, and it was known as the Bronx. And walking down the corridors, there were it was a good, it was about a kilometer and a half to get from one end to the other. And all in corridors. And there were some pretty nasty things that used to happen in those corridors. And it was a no-go place for women. And they said, and they sent me there and I knew what I was gonna be doing because I'd done the prove quarter Colchester for prisoner handling. So I knew that I would be running the cells. It is a detention center, a holding center for prisoners. If anybody does have any kind of disciplinary action taken against them, depending on what their award was, they could carry out their sentence there. Or if it was a considerable award or it needed good court martial, then they would be flown back to the uk. So the people I tended to get were guys who had a bit too much to drink, or people who had been a bit stupid or people who decided that they didn't wanna go to work or just, or fighting, it tended to be that thing. It was basically, if you like, a cooler. But the big thing about having a prisoner is you need to find out why they're there and what the trigger is and to redress it. Because everyone who's joined the military has reached a standard once they've passed out, and it is. A very high standard, particularly in comparison with civilian life. Very disciplined, very structured, very ordered. So something's gone wrong. And one, I've told this story many times and it was one of the best ones. I got a phone call at about half past eight, nine o'clock in the morning, which is unusual.'cause normally I'd get them in the evenings when the bars were kicking out and it was jj, we've got something that's gotta be locked up. And I went okay. So off I went to the guard room area, which was run by the police. Police are not allowed to control prisoners. It has to be us that did it. So anyway, off I went and this chap was caught drunk in charge of a crane and it was an 18 wheeler going down the road, weaving. And basically he'd had a dear John from the night before and got himself drunk. And he was still under the influence when he was taking this frame down the road to May Harbor. And yeah, he was not in a good way, so got him in the cells, sat him down, sorted it out. I'm not the one that charges them, that's the police or their seniors. I just controlled them. So a lot of it is making sure that everything meets home office regulations, because the difference between a military, police, prison and a civilian prison is why they're there. You can't lock up a builder for being absent without leave, or you can't lock up a car thief because he's dissipated the direct order from his boss. It's why they're there. So you've got to really try to find out the triggers of what they're there for. And that's where the reverse psychology of a woman works particularly well. In that. Women interrogators are very good. Women who are disciplined are very good because if you are faced with a guy who's not really in the best place, he should be or could be, he either looks at you as his mother, who's given him heck, or his wife or his sister, but sometimes as well when you need to get some information outta them, they could also listen to you as their girlfriend or their wife or their fiance, depending on the tack you take. And with one particular guy I had, he refused to soldier on. He refused to put his uniform and go to work. And I got him down there and I basically dismissed his sergeant and his escort. I said he's here now. He can't do anything in. We go and I sat him in the coldest cell, which was naughty, but nevermind. We got him in the coldest cell from half an hour. And then I said do you want a cup of coffee? And he said, yes, please. And I said if I give you a cup of coffee, you're gonna come and sit up here. You gonna have a chat and you're gonna put that uniform on? And he did. Now I'm in a tricky spot because he's now obeyed my order, but we are not at the crux of the problem. And by sitting down and he knows he is in trouble because of where he is, he knows he's in trouble. So screaming and shouting and bellowing is not gonna work in that instance. So sitting down and having a talk and all sorts of stuff came out and, he was being isolated. And my concern at that time, because I'd seen it happen in Berlin, not with my unit, but with another, was there were initiation ceremonies going on and there were bullying and also it happened in Afghanistan, hazing, where you put them through a process of initiation where it's an unpleasant situation. And I was concerned that there was something going on like that and it wasn't. But he was just a very unhappy guy with a circumstance within his family, which was really upsetting. And when you are 16,000 miles away from home, it's, you might as well be sitting on Mars with this problem on your shoulders.
James:How did you personally,'cause I can imagine the Forland Islands being right at the other end of the ocean. The Atlantic Ocean. Yeah, that's right. Isn't it? South
JJ Adams:Atlantic?
James:How did you find almost isolation of being on the Forland Islands?
JJ Adams:Actually, this is where the military thing kicks in. It's work hard, play hard now. There was isolation. We only had two aircraft a week, so we only got mail twice a week. We only got the newspapers twice a week. We didn't have the internet, we didn't have mobile phones, we had none of the that there at that time. All we had was phone cards and they would just get eaten in a heartbeat. So everything was based on writing letters and they were called blues. They were aerograms pale blue. We called'em blues and sitting down and writing blues and receiving bluey was huge. If you didn't get anything in the post, it really was devastating. It sounds silly, but it really was. But it was a real work hard, play hard and it was fabulous. It was almost as if we'd gone back to when I first joined up where everybody stayed on camp for the weekend. We would do things. The one good thing that we had at the Kins was a lot of fundraising for charity. Lots of things, projects were going on. There were intersection competitions. The sergeants would invite the corporals to their mess for get togethers and vice versa, officers as well. There were football competitions. We really didn't have a lot of that. It had to be in the gym because we were up to our ears in snow when I was there. But there was an awful lot of work hard, play hard. There wasn't a lot of time to do nothing. We also had our own BFBS radio station there and our own SSVC, which is the broadcasting tv. So we still got the cassettes that came down so we could watch some television. We also got the radio station, which that was a lifeline. I was quite lucky. They let me they didn't let me, they asked me to take part in the breakfast show and my lovely friend Joyce, who was also down there at the same time, she was Auntie Joyce, the aunt, agony aunt. So we used to get these fake stories coming in of people's agony aunts and Auntie Joyce would give them advice and they, it was massive. The play hard aspect was so vital. And the other thing that I used to help organize, and it happened all the time, was the radar units, which were sometimes a good hours helicopter ride away, if not further. They were very isolated. They would only have maybe 30 people on each unit and they were all living in porter cabins. So what they would do once a week is ask for some of the girls to fly out there where we would be treated. And it was treated, it was wonderful to a beautiful dining in night. And the cooks would have a lovely time cooking something really nice. Once a, you know what, sorry, it was once a month they'd do a lovely dinner and we'd sit down and it was toasts and prop, people all dressed up and we would go up and it was interesting, again, this male female aspects in the guys would all sit down and the first thing they did, because the first thing of the helicopter was all the male,'cause they only got the mail when we flew up there. And they'll be consumed in reading all their posts. And then they'd come and talk to you a little bit and then. You'd see that this is my little boy, and they show you a picture of their son or they say, this is my wife, or there's my motorbike and oh, I miss this. And it, and that's when they started to it, it was female company because they all have got, the place is loaded with testosterone. Sometimes it's just nice to sit to some and just talk to somebody. The opposite sex. And there were some good friendships made, and I wouldn't say they were, of course, relationships happened. That's absolutely normal. But I would mostly say that it was definitely the companionship. So that was really vital to keep that going and. Doing that was, I felt morale wise was really important. So I'd always make sure that I put a notice up down in the girls' accommodation, say anybody free my, my Alice for example, they're doing a dining in night on this weekend. Let me know if you want to go. You just, we all had to take a sleeping bag with us, not because of there was no bedding. It was because if the helicopter went down, we had to have a gok bag that we could get in and not get cold of it, get, die of exposure. But and there was always things going on. It was very good for morale, very important. We had for example, down in my facility, we were, we had a room that initially only accommodated, I think it was 70 people, and it was for when the. Existing infantry company was going back to the uk. It couldn't leave until its replacement company came in and this room was a disaster. The furniture was awful. It was falling to bits, it was unhygienic. It was just basically a warehouse where they dosed and that wasn't right. So I talked to my sergeant and I said, look, let's get this sorted out. So we had chipped over 50 bunk beds. Now that sounds a bit rotten, but what it did, it gave them a lot more floor space. And we could make a, we could have a sitting area for them and an area for their regimental police and a place for their kit. And we put a whopping gray TV up there and it made a much better environment for the guys who were going back home, ready for the guys that were coming in to take their accommodation. And when we had the submarines come in. The guys wanted to come ashore on onto camp it meant they could go and sleep in a bed as opposed to sleeping on board, which gave them all a break as well. So there were lots of things that we did that were vital to keep that morale going. We did plays, we had this lamb drum group and oh God, that was great fun. Hysterical. And we get flown around the radar sites to perform this play. And it was, we did it a couple of times and it was great fun. We had a hoot and roar, but what was really nice was how much the guys appreciated it. And we also brilliantly, and very luckily, we also had celebrities that came over from the UK and they would go up to all the radar sites. My office would organize their transport and get them up to where they need to go, and they would put on shows and they put a big show on always down at Port Stanley to Stanley for the for the locals. And they were these people that came out. They were fantastic. Just to be spoiled, it's so important. I think the biggest thing of anything with the military is that we are not forgotten because at times we really feel that we are forgotten. We are only wanted for the parades and for when there's a problem and they don't realize that all that time we are protecting, we are training, we are dying In those training sessions, we are trying to procure the best equipment. We are trying to train the best people. We are trying to motivate the best people. We're trying to help the best people because we have to be the elite. Also, we have a huge sense of pride about who we are. So many countries around the world see us as the example of what armed force is. And when you get let down by authority or management or superiors, or let's just say the big what, the big G, the government, you cannot imagine how much that actually hurts. It's not disappointment. We here at the flick of a switch, we are there for you. We do, God knows what in the most horrific conditions, in the most godawful places, sacrificing our family's time and our own personal opportunities to do these things. And it's just awful. And I think that's the big thing is just please don't forget us. It's nice that we get cheered on parades, but we are more than just a parade. It's quite sad. It's quite sad. And that's the one thing that all we want is just to be remembered and to be thought of nicely. Yeah. And it's, it hurts. And there's obviously things going on in the press at the moment about the prosecution of Northern Ireland veterans, which has followed orders. We and God knows, I had colleagues that were killed by the IRA, I spent my career with a plastic carrier bag in my handbag so that I could take it out and kneel on it to get under my car to search it every time. My part, I got into it my whole career. I did that. And you we, we were issued with mirrors to be able to check our cars. And when you spend a life doing that it's just it's not just parades. There's so much that happens to us that we just lose out on, which is fine. When you say, you know what you joined up for, you don't. You really don't. It's like anything you do in life you don't know till you're doing it. And for me, it suited me beautifully. It was great and I loved it, and I'm so immensely proud of my heritage, who I served, what I did, but I get very upset when it's almost besmirched or tarnished or almost dismissed. And our feelings as veterans, when we see things that have been changed for reasons we don't really quite get and we still don't get, it's almost as if our memory and our heritage, as also being, I don't know, dismissed as being that was just not necessary or that was just a bit of nonsense. It certainly wasn't to us. And it's hurtful and it's that lovely saying. I'm trying to think who said it. I dunno what, it's probably Winston Churchill. They know the cost of everything and the value of nothing, and that is massive. Be very careful about that. In life, that value outweighs cost every time, every single time. The value of someone's life is a lot more than the cost of putting it there in the first place. It's yeah it's a sad way that things, certain things go, but I think we've got to try to be, we've got to be more respectful. We've got to be less dismissive. We've got to be more empha emphatic. We've got to listen to each other. I always said to my recruits, you've got two of those and two of those, but you've only got one of those. And that's your mouth. You've got two eyes, you've got two ears, but you've only got one mouth. Use your eyes and ears before you use your mouth. Mind you that's a bit hard for me sometimes.
James:It's like pointing. Yeah. You've got one finger pointing at somebody, it's rude. And then three, three fingers pointing at yourself.
JJ Adams:Yes. That as well. Absolutely. That as well. It's yeah it's one of those things, sometimes you don't have that time to think or listen or hear because you've got to react. You can see what's happened. You've gotta react ba straight away, otherwise someone can die. But you also have had so much training. You've had so much risk assessment.'cause we do it all the time. Everybody does it. We do risk assessments our whole lives. What do we do? We blow on a cup of tea before we drink it, because that's a risk assessment. So we don't burn ourselves. We look left and right before we cross the road. That's a risk assessment. Our whole lives is risk assessments. So before we do anything in the military, we do have that intense training of, no, this is not a good idea. And a lot of people around us saying, stop or go. So yeah, it's it's important though to keep aware. What was it? We was stay alert, stay alive. That was another expression in my time.
James:Stay alert, stay alive, stay
JJ Adams:alert, stay alive. Yeah.
James:In Afghan and Kabul where you're doing close quarter protection, if something kicked off, how did you stay calm and make the decisions?
JJ Adams:Because you have a memory muscle. We did so much training and just so much of it, it was just a memory muscle. It's drills, it's like doing arm drill. It's like doing any kind of routine thing that you do over and over. It's a memory muscle. And we did, when we weren't out on jobs, we were training. Fridays was our quiet day because it's basically a Sunday over there. And that was when we did our vehicles we did our vehicles at the end of each job anyway, but that's when we especially did our vehicles. But that's when we did our training, we did our driver training, we did our drills. And it was really because we were all ex-military, even though from different branches of the military, it was really quick how we all slotted in to what we needed to do. And I did experience from one of the guys when he was. Teaching me how to drive. And I thought, just keep quiet, JJ let him teach you. And it was, and it was just pretty basic. It was pretty easy. And he did look at me after he said, jj, he said, I didn't realize you was such a good driver. Which I thought was, it didn't make me smug, it made me think he has reassessed his opinion. Do you see what I'm getting at?
Yeah. Yeah.
JJ Adams:And he's obviously reassessed his opinion. And I thought that was quite a brave thing for someone to do when they've already got this opinion of me that I was probably just some dolly. And yeah, for him to say that I thought that was a big thing. That was quite a big thing for someone to say.
James:Yeah. Thank you very much, jj. Can you, what is it that you currently do and how can people get in contact or possibly support you in that?
JJ Adams:At the moment, I am a free as a bird. When I came back to the I went back to Germany where I was living in Bavaria in the, I was very lucky to live in the mountains. Sadly, I nursed my father through the last six months of his life with very aggressive dementia, which was a, another aspect of my life, which I learned so much about me. And it was, at that time, mummy and I decided we would return back to the UK after living there for 20 years. And we came back to the UK in the middle of the pandemic. And then my darling mommy was diagnosed with Parkinson's and leukemia, and she died relatively quickly after that. So I've been rushing from. Caring for daddy and then moving here and then caring for mommy. So now I am doing I'm a trustee for the Royal Air Force Association at Ebo. I do as much as I can and more to support the charity called The Not Forgotten. And I also am a Poppy organizer and I help raise money for the RBL. So I'm pretty busy with all of those things, but if anybody wants to contact me, I'm very clearly on Facebook and anybody can contact me through that on Messenger. Please do that. It'll be lovely. I'm, I don't really have the phone too far away from me and and that would be lovely people to say, oh, in fact, through you, my darling, that would be fine too as well. Yeah.
Yeah.
JJ Adams:As long as you are not too bombarded. But I'm quite happy to be available to chat to anybody because I've done a fair bit. And been caught through a lot medically as well. Yes, there's lots more stories, as
James:yeah. It's literally you just have some experience. It's unreal. I'm very
JJ Adams:lucky. I'm very lucky to have, all I'd say is everything has been, there's been some horrible things, but then everything makes you who you are and everything as horrible as it was, you've just gotta embrace it. I did get angry with people. I was, when I went to Ascension, people said, oh, it's so boring here. And I said, do you know how privileged you are to be here? This is, people will pay thousands to be on this place. Just you are here. Get on with it and take it for everything you can. And that's what you've gotta do with life. Don't just, like I said, just do it. Just do it.
It could
JJ Adams:be a ball. Even when you've gotta do a parade at the end of it, there's a lovely piss up and there's always a parade. There's always a great party afterwards.'cause we've just been, you're all on a high, it's wonderful people cheering you and clapping you. Oh, it's hard work before. But once you're out there and you've got your uniform and you've ball your shoes and you're out there, just stick your head up, get your shoulders back, and put a whopping great smile on your face and be very proud. And don't forget those people cheering you on. They've paid for you to be there. They've paid for what you've got in your back. They've paid for what you've got in your foot. Feet. Show them what that you are there for them. That's the best way you can do it, is by showing them that you are parading for them, not for yourselves. There you go.
James:Thank you jj.
JJ Adams:It's a pleasure, my love. Take care. Bye.
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