The Beginning of a New Chapter: You Matter. I Matter.

Transcript

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In today's podcast episode, I wanna talk about the sh a shift that I'm currently having with regards to this podcast. So since August 20, 24, I launched a podcast called Man Aquest, by Meaning now. My intention initially was to have this podcast to help men to never complexities of modern life and to help them to overcome different scenarios, different situations, and, but the last year and a half, I think it's about a year and a half, I've had this shift, and I want to focus my podcast now on connection. On helping people to navigate a life that if we look at the news, if you look at, uh, a lot what's going on, how, how loneliness is a big issue. I feel like we're in this am deic, emic can't even say the word of loneliness. And this idea that we all feel a lot of people feel disconnected. So I want to, to honor this part of ourselves and to create a podcast around connection around not just connecting to others, but firstly being able to connect to ourselves because I truly believe that in order to feel connected to other people, we need to feel connected to ourselves first. I believe that it all starts from the inside out. So like I was talking about in the, a couple episodes ago about trust it. In order to fully trust the world around us and fully to, to fully trust people, we need to trust ourselves. And in order to trust ourselves, we've got to discover we've got to go into this inner trust. It is part of ourselves that really helps us to connect. In fact, I think it's all connection. Think about it now. I think it's all connection. When you connect to love, you connect to, when you connect to love, you connect to that all loving feeling inside, which then allows you to love the outside the world that we see. So yeah, I feel it's all about connection, but then. The question is what? What's, what's connection? What is connection? It's kind of a idea, and with my coach, and I think it was one of the first second or the second session we talked about when we entered into trust, there was this idea that I felt disconnected from trust. And so it was looking at the idea of trust. So rather than trying to work out what trust is and to implement it internally, it was to look at the idea of trust first and allow yourself to connect to that rather than connect to trust as a whole. So maybe just maybe thinking about it now. We need to look at the idea of connection with ourselves first. So rather than saying, oh, we need to be connected, and you see it all on these internet websites, or you hear it in podcasts, you hear it on, uh, social media or on the internet, that you need to be connected to yourself. But then. We ask ourselves, what is connection? So rather than being open to connection with ourselves and with others, let's look at the idea of connecting to ourselves, to to, for, for me, that feels a lot easier to break down than the idea of I need to be connected. So I look at the idea of being connected. So that's where we'll start. And so with this podcast, it's called, it's gonna be called You Matter. I Matter. Now this idea came because actually I was chatting to a lady. Who haven't, I haven't actually been on, hasn't been on my podcast yet. She's going to be, but she hasn't been on yet. And we were discussing about different things and, um, the word I Matter, you Matter came up and it just clicked. That feels ripe for the name. So that's where it kind of came from. But then I realized that I matter, U Matter has already been taken. So I wanted to use a.com website. Then I wouldn't be able to, so that's where, so I change it to You matter. I matter. Now, the idea around this is that we see the idea of connecting to ourselves first, and then the idea of connecting to others. So it's about creating that internal connection to ourselves that we are not separate. We are all connected. We are all one. And so there's this idea of how do we build connection in a world that is disconnected? So for, for, so let's, let's cover that a little bit. So, what does connection, what does the idea of connection mean to me, the idea of connection means to me being able to accept everything about myself, not just the good or what or what I see as good and the parts that I wanna show off. But the parts that I want to, but the parts that I hide, the parts that I don't want people to see, the real vulnerable parts, the parts that make me look an idiot, the parts that make me come across as, um, somebody who I don't, somebody who I don't want to be hanging around with. So everything, I feel like to truly see connection in myself, I have to accept. Everything about myself, not just the parts that I wanna show people. And that's a big ask because it can be scary. It can be really scary because, you know, I don't wanna show my jealousy off to the world because what are people gonna think about me? Are they gonna judge me? Are they going to reject me? Or maybe I don't wanna show my anger. Because if I show my anger, people are gonna see me in a different light. Or maybe I don't want people to see my evil part, the part that makes me look really, really bad in front of people. But the thing is, when you. Don't allow these parts to be seen. And you don't have to go about showing the world these parts. It's more that you have to connect to these parts yourself, and then you get to choose whether you allow these parts to be seen. So what I mean by that is that, say for example we mentioned free jealousy, anger, and the, and evil. We all have these parts inside us. But if you kind of push these away and don't embrace these parts, then what you'll find is that these parts will push back. It's more like if you don't want something to be seen, it's gonna push back against you, and it's more likely to come out without you knowing subconsciously in different scenarios. Whereas if you allow and accept and to maybe feel these parts and allow these parts to be seen, then there's that idea of these parts feel accepted, loved, so then they don't push back against you. That's my realization with all this kind of stuff, and so. It's the idea that we need to accept every part of ourselves as it is, and almost allow ourselves to be present, to be, to be witness, to be, to see these parts as an extension of who we are. Like anger, anger can be used in a, in a bad way. You know, it can be used for outbursts. I don't wanna do this. No, you can't do that. But it can also be used as passion. Passion to allow people to see what you are passionate about. Maybe you've got a hobby or your, your passion is your business. And a, a great example of this is Greta. Is it Thunberg when she was 16. She stood up for, um, for the planet. She went to different events and was, uh, actively demonstrating about the, about us needing to be more conscious of what we do on this planet. That's passion and that is seen, and she's seen all around the globe. I think she was 15 or 16 when she first started demonstrating. But she hasn't stopped since. Val is passion. And then there's the idea of, yeah, jealousy can be a, can be a thing that we want to hide because jealousy shows that we are perhaps, um, trying to prove or try into, yeah, we are just, we are just jealous of. Something that's happened. Maybe we are jealous that somebody's got, um, achieved something that we haven't or jealous that they're going out with a girl that we like. It can be seen in a bad way, but it can also seem in a good way because jealousy can give you that, that fire, that anger, that passion to say like, do you know what? I've had it with this. I'm gonna do something about it. So all these things about connection are so, so important. So con so the idea of connection to me is all about accepting, of acknowledging, witnessing, and embracing. Every part of ourselves connection. The idea of connection to me is about truly accepting who I am. That could be the very confident side. That could be the part of me that is shy, accepting them, parts, connecting to these parts. Because these parts can quite often be your sue weapons. They can be amazing, amazing parts of yourself. So it's about allowing ourselves to connect to who we, who we truly are. I, and it's helping people to remember that. Connection to ourself first and foremost is probably one of the most important things. You see it all the time that. People see you just because you do work on yourself and you are putting yourself first. They see you as, um, what's the word? Or, um, selfish. They see you as selfish. To me, connection to yourself first is not selfish. It's probably one of the most important things that you can do. On planes, they always say if you, if you are having any issues and auction Jo, uh, masks drop out, put the ma mask on yourself first, because then you can help everybody. But if you put the oxygen mask on everybody else, then you are gonna end up passing out and you can help nobody. So when you, when this, when you, when I find that when I connect to myself first, I can help people more and more, and more than helping people first and foremost, and neglecting myself. We do. We and, and I think another reason that I start this podcast is because we live in this disconnected world. Social media, news, everything around a lot of things around, not everything. A lot of things around us are there to maybe not consciously. But I feel they're there to separate us to create this disconnection because I feel like sometimes a disconnected person from themselves first and then from others is sometimes easily controlled. Whereas when you are connected to yourself, it's so much easier to connect to other people. Just this very moment, I lost my trail of thought. Now, for me, when I lose my tr trail of thought or when I'm kind of like a little bit unsure or kind of lost to me that. That represents that lack of connection with myself because I feel like when you are connected, when you truly connect to yourself, you don't have to know what to say. You don't have to practice, you don't have to try. Prove yourself. You, you just are. You know exactly what to say, when to say it in that moment. You don't have to plan, and that's a big, big key thing. When you are connected, you are able to easily speak your truth. You are easily able to connect to the part of you that trusts you are able to con connect to. What you need to say in that exact moment. And, and with that comes the idea of knowing the exact next step that you need to take. And this next step might be the fact that you might need to rest. It might be that you need to go and do some relaxation. It might be that you need to take some written action. It could be that you need to, to go and work out. But when you are connected to yourself, you know, the next aligned action, and I use the word aligned because it's kind of, it's kind of connected to connection. Just thinking about it now, you know, I've been using aligned action for quite a while, and it's only now that I realize actually that. Aligned action means that you are aligned with yourself. You know exactly what you need to do in exact moments. There's so much out there on productivity that you, we need to have this done, this done, this done, this done. We need to have a business plan. You need to have, um. You everything in line, you need to have your accounts done. You need to have everything in in place and all planned and know exactly what you need to do and when you need to do it. But really, when you are aligned in connection to yourself, when you are aligned in action, when you are aligned with this moment, you don't have to have this plan. Because you know exactly what you need to do in exactly every moment, and that requires a lot of trust and faith in what we are doing, and that trust and faith that it will happen when it happens. It's like recently, I've always had a, I've always had a morning routine. But recently I've just realized that my morning routine feels very stagnated. It feels very forced. It feels that the, the word morning routine feels like it's something that I have to do. So I've changed it now to devotional practice. Now. For me, that feels a lot, lot softer. But it also feels like it's an, it's, it's a, something that I'm due to connect truly to who I am. For, for me, devotional practice is almost, I, it's, it's a devotion to me. I'm devoting this time to connecting to me. And so this sits, right, and then maybe morning routine sits right for you. But I, but I, uh, ask you the question here now that just sit down for a moment and ask, does, does morning routine sit right when it comes to connecting to myself first thing in the morning? Or maybe does devotional practice sit right with you or maybe. Another word will come to you and maybe that will sit right. So on that note, this shift means something real to me. It means letting go. Of trying to fix or guide myself and yourselves from the outside and instead learning how to connect from the inside. So this is where we begin, and with the truth that you matter and I matter, and together maybe we can remember what it feels like to truly belong. To ourselves and to each other, and so I look forward to carrying this journey on with you all, and I'll see you next week.