I Do Me, Boo

Brain Rot: Why I Quit the Algorithm and Take My Life Back

• Season 1 • Episode 38

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In today's episode, Martina dives into her experiment of living an algorithm-free life. 

After a whirlwind trip to New York, she reflects on how social media algorithms have been hijacking her attention, creativity, and critical thinking. 

She shares her early wins, challenges, and the surprising clarity that comes from reclaiming your focus — and why this matters not just for her, but for all of us trying to live with more agency in a digital world.

Got a thought, reaction, or moment this episode stirred up? Send me a note. I read every message — and sometimes they shape future episodes.

Follow Martina on Instagram @femmagical for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more!

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice.

Martina:

Back from an inspiring whirlwind trip to New York, I realized my phone, let's say, and the algorithm behind it, have been running me more than I thought. Today I'm sharing how this hit me on the streets of New York, the changes I'm making to reclaim my focus and my attention and my emotions, and what it really takes to start living an algorithm-free life. So if you ever felt like your phone is running you instead of the other way around, well, today's episode is for you. And especially a weekend with my husband because for the past two weeks, two not two weeks, the past two months, we had visitors. We had two and a half weeks of my brother-in-law coming. And then we went to Europe. We had no weekend alone, obviously, in Europe. And then when we came back, I had my mom here for three and a half weeks. So this will be the first weekend after two months. Just me and my husband and I am excited as you can be by just having our own time again. And I also thought Friday is such a good time to record a podcast because we have been just kind of like we just came back from an extensive travel. So we traveled almost all week last week. We came back Sunday night, we were in New Orleans. My husband had a conference that he attended, and then he needed to go to New York. And the thing I appreciate about my corporate job is that I can work literally from anywhere as soon as long as I have internet connections. So I'm usually staying in a hotel and work from there. And it's a transformation that has just begun. So it's not finalized. I don't have like some of the big evidences that how great that is, what I'm here implementing in my own life. Yet I thought I don't need always to share things when they are finished. I can just take you along the journey and give you updates either throughout some other episodes or I dedicate an extra episode just for that. So let me kick off the this transformation that I'm undergoing right now with how that actually sparked in when we were traveling, when we were in New York, because I feel every time we travel, and I'm in that spot where life is just so good because it's exactly how I envisioned it to be years ago. Like traveling, my husband, we have money. We we obviously we're traveling and not throwing out the money down the drain, but you know, we can book nicer hotel room so that I have a nice hotel room to work in, and we eat really yummy food, and we are in New York, and New York as busy and as dirty as this big, big capital can be, or metropolitan city can be. So there are things at stake here. It's not just, oh, I need to improve. It doesn't come from that lens of like I need to be better, or there's always something I need to improve and change and be on that loop that I've been on for so many years when I just wanted to change for the sake of changing and growing, but not from a healthy spot. It was just like I didn't feel good enough, I didn't feel worthy enough, and I thought I needed to prove by knowing more, by being more, so that I can feel more, or that I get validation from other people. So that's not coming from that lens yet. Now, what I realized is since a big long while that I have an addiction towards my phone. And it's not something that I'm alone on the planet with. It's not like an addiction with some with a s with a substance, yet I don't see a big difference now between my phone and alcohol, and yes, of course, the effects, the side effects, or obviously the thing that you know causes us the suffering and the pain is different in a way, yet it's still an addiction. It's still, you know, something where I'm constantly distracted and where I'm constantly putting my focus on. So I am not talking about now, you know, how bad technology is and how things have changed just in the last five years, not to say in the last 10 or 20 years, and how grateful I am that I still grew up half of my life without a phone, and or at least without all those platforms, all these algorithms. So, and having that said, I am not anti-technology at all. I don't go into this kind of you know conversation, I don't entertain this because I don't think technology is bad. Obviously, we all know what's bad about it is how we use it and how we allow it, obviously, with often without our knowledge to influence not our only our opinions but our life overall. So I am not entire into technology, I am pro-agency, and what I mean with agency is taking the dominion, the control over what influences my life. And that will not like the goal is not for me to have 100% influence upon like influence on the things that influence me, because we will never. I mean, this is not a war that or a battle to win, yet it is something where I'm like I want to make sure my attention is kind of managed by myself and not by something outside of me, because our attention, your attention, my attention, is one of the most valuable things we have. And the moment I start choosing where it goes, instead of letting someone or something outside of me choose for me, I also start coming back more to myself. And when I say that my goal, my transformation is to lead an algorithm-free life, that does not mean I'm disappearing from the digital world. It does not mean I'm not posting anymore on TikTok or Instagram or even on this podcast platform. It just means I stop my own self from being so consumed by it. And that's actually a decision that already comes with a bit of more freedom than when I was so drawn into the whole thing. So let's So what I in former times always thought was that social media is the bad boy. And it was not my opinion, that it was actually something that I'm consuming, right? There are so many people saying, oh, social media is bad, it's it's you know bad for our children, it actually m gets us into being a zombie. So, but it's not as easy as oh, it's the platforms. It's you might have guessed it because I have that in my title of this episode, it's the algorithm. So for a long time I was led to believe, because I wasn't critical, think not critically thinking enough, that social media is the problem. So obviously I was like, oh, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok, how bad, how evil. And that they are the culprits of ruining my focus, your focus. They're ruining the depth of our life, they ruin our thinking, they capture and captivate our critical thinking, which I think is, you know, is extinguished among most of us. Because if you are a social media user, either even if you're not using it often, still you get fed information that does not make you a better person or leads you to take action upon what you just read. Often it's just such superficial information that's just feeding you, and then obviously feeding the machine to put more of the same stuff onto your explore page. So the app itself is a tool, and then we all know, you know, a knife is a tool. A knife I can use to cut bread, and I also know that I can obviously harm someone's life with a knife. And a tool, if not used mindfully, can hurt, but if I use it mindfully, it can actually I can leverage things out of it. So I wanna tell you that I obviously not going off any social media platforms, and so what I started to do when we came back from New York was I not opening Instagram for consuming, I'm using it to create. So maybe you follow me on Instagram or not. If you don't do, I post stories there because I know people are interested in maybe not in my life, but in what I'm posting there because it's it gives a window to a life that might be different, because that's why I was watching other people's story. And I love people's story, be it my friends or some peers from from grad school or even influencers, it doesn't matter. I'm always very interested in what people are doing with their life and what they are posting and sharing. So that's what I want and still continue doing because I feel like this is fun for me, and it's also, you know, you know, it's it's it it it sparks often very great conversation in my DMs when people you know give advice, which very often is not is very unsolicited, so I'll obviously have a response there. But you know, sometimes people say something that I'm like, oh, oh, that's great. I didn't know about that. That's cool, you know. Or sometimes it's like the opposite, where see people say like, oh wow, I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing. So it goes obviously both ways. So I love connecting also with people, obviously that I've never met, but I feel like there's a good wipe coming from them, and I'm like, yeah, it's it's great to meet people from all over the world. That's definitely a big plus. So, yet how it worked in the past was I opened Instagram and then I saw the first post, and it was it was catchy. It was maybe a great picture with a strong headline, and then you know, you swiping if it's pictures or if it's a real you're watching it. You might even turn on the volume because you're like, I want to hear what that person has to say. And it led me to rabbit holes in different for different kind of topics, and then I found myself scrolling and scrolling and consuming and consuming and consuming, and in the end of the day, afterwards, when I stopped the whole process because I had to move on with something else, or because I'm like, okay, what am I doing here? Get your get your ass out of there. I felt big shame. I'm like, wow, is this the life now that we are doom scrolling? Something I never thought I would be doing because I haven't been scrolling for so many, sometimes even maybe an hour, you know, on an end, on end. I haven't done that. I mean, it just started to become more or less a habit for the past maybe two or three years. So it's been it's been a thing. And I I realized I I I don't I wanna use social media for creation, so me using it actively to create, but not passively to consume and to consume other people's content because honestly, I don't know how it is for you, but like 95% of all the posts I'm coming across are nothing else than dramatic, they are catchy, and then when I go and want to find the depth in what they write, there is none. It's just superficial things. And obviously, in a post and in a reel, you cannot just elaborate for hours on one point and bring on all the statistics or like all the different nuances. So the nuances are so often missing in topics, and that's the big disadvantage because those platforms are not built for you to go into depth with one point. So there's a lot of misunderstandings very often, and then you know you go through the comment comments and you see disputes, you see hatred spewed, or you see people cheering on things where I feel like, wow, that's that's crazy that they agree with this post. So I think you know exactly what I'm talking about, especially if you are also in the trenches of social media and using Instagram and TikTok or YouTube. And I mean, I know there are so many, many more platforms, but I'm always referring to those three ones because that's where you can or you used to find me doom scrolling. So, and I just realized that the second I scroll, I know I'm no longer choosing what enters my brain, my system, because there is an algorithm behind that's choosing for me, and it immediately starts hooking me. And that's you know, it's so curated, selected, and optimized to pull me in to and to make me stick longer on the platform because that's exactly why the algorithm is built the way it's built. And I always thought I'm in control, I'm just scrolling a little bit, but I was just more or less bullshitting myself. And you know, and that's how it worked for me. I opened the app and dumboom, the first post. You know, there's something emotional, something dramatic, something extreme, something catchy. And you know what? That's not random. That's so calculated based on my previous consumption. And then I get the second post or the third reel or the fourth reel. And each one is based on how I reacted on the before post. So, you know, the algorithm thinks like, oh my god, Martina paused on this. I think she wants more. Give her more, or oh, she read this, push more content out like this to her. Oh, that triggered her. Perfect, let's get more out of that. And you just don't know what's happening, but there is something happening, and as natural as it might feel, or as unconscious this process feels, the you know, the more curated and fake it all is. And I so every time now, since Sunday, since I implemented this algorithm-free life, I post my on my stories and get out. But I have to really, really focus really, really hard when I do so. Because again, every time, and that's the thing, the more you get out of that, the less you consume this dramatic, catchy, like wowie post or information that blows your mind and gives you your dopamine hits. If you don't have that anymore, you realize the day you open Instagram and I see the first post, how my brain is like, you know, like I'm I'm immediately zoning in the f on the first post because I'm like, what is it? What is it? What is it? And then I have to really work hard to say, no, you're not gonna read this. Go back up there to the plus of where you can see my profile picture because that's how I open my stories, and then I'll post my stories. And then I need to really focus hard to completely immediately uh uh close the app. Otherwise, the next post that will pop up will do the same. It really uh kind of captures my attention, and even this five or ten seconds is already too much, it's already so unnecessary energy that gets drained by something that I did not choose. Because it's a difference if you, you know, for example, you you you are like shopping, like for me yesterday, grocery shopping, they didn't have the exact meat that I wanted, and I don't eat any other different beef meat than a filet mignon because it's very tender and I really love it and I love cooking with it. So I was like, okay, they don't have the meat, but I wanted protein. So obviously I went to Google and said alternative proteins I can cook quickly cook with, and then I got suggested a few articles, and then intentionally I skimmed through some articles until I found something like, for example, a recipe about uh tofu, for example. Tofu is very protein rich. I was like, oh cool. So that is not algorithm driven, that's driven by my own curiosity, by my own choice, by my own willingness to look, search for information that I need to solve a problem. Because in that moment I was like kind of like, oh, I don't know what to cook, and what is the best what is the bear what's the best protein source that I can buy quickly and make a quick meal? So that's different. That is me choosing, that's me taking agency. But and but then there's this other thing where you know obviously when you open YouTube, you get all those clips and shorts proposed, and uh you get like uh information fed that you were not asking for, that you don't need, that is actually unconsciously draining you, or you are hooked on drama emotionally that is just not doing you any good. It didn't it doesn't do me any good, let's put it this way. So um, and this week I realized, for example, when I wasn't quick enough to kind of manage my focus, I wanted to post a story, and then one post captured my attention. And then this post was saying, studies show that travel is better than therapy because it's changing your life more dramatically. And I, mind you, I just came from traveling, and I had just this big transformation of like, wow, you know, traveling actually opens my perspective, and I gain more energy and kind of like passion to tackle this algorithm that's capturing me and puts me into it that that makes me a slave, you know. So I was like, wow, you know, and then obviously cognitive bias, right? Confirmation bias, like matching what I thought on the weekend plus then this post. So I was swiping because I'm like, okay, there's even a study that says this, you know, and under swiped and I swiped and I swiped. And I didn't find any reference to any studies. So I'm always like, if someone says a study shows and you cannot quote that study, just give me the name. I don't need the the hyperlink anyway, it doesn't work on a on a post, but you know what I mean. So I was like, oh damn it, you know, because then I'm like, is that even true? And I started to critically ask myself what that post says. Is that even you know, not only is this true, but I went within and thought critically that therapy, can you be so generally speaking to say that travel is changing your life more dramatically than um sitting in therapy? I mean, this is so not nuanced. And for some people it might be true, but for some people it might not. I have been with therapists that obviously haven't changed my life. Because they were not the perfect match. They were not aligned to me on a soul level. I just didn't hit it off with them. But I've been with people that have definitely changed my life, be it a coach or a therapist, doesn't matter. I have been on travels where I came home and like, I hate traveling, or it sucked all my energy. I didn't enjoy it. And I've been on travel like now with New York, where I deeply enjoyed it, where I'm like, wow, you know. So this is just such a black and white thinking. And then there was no study and then a research because I'm like, okay, I want to know if there is really a study. And obviously there is no study. Of course, traveling can, you know, relax you. Of course, short-term, midterm, it can make some significant changes on your life. But that can also happen for coaching or therapy. It can be even long-term change. So I was like, oh come on. This is so oversimplified. It's so vague. And like really critically swiped again back to the beginning, for forward to the to the end. And I saw how oversimplified it was written, how unproven that point was, and how clickbaity. And I'm like, okay, it gives me understand it gives me information, but there's no understanding. There's no context, there's no nuance, there's no responsibility behind what that person is saying. It's just a sentence to designed to make me react, but not make me, you know, kind of like, you know, it makes me okay. When I say you might ask, so just a this is just designed to make me react, okay? To either agree with it, disagree with it, share it, comment, engage, and that's all. But in the end of the day, it's a hot take. It's maybe a a quote, it's it's a simplification, trained wisdom. But then you know, this seems harmless, and you might ask yourself, like, okay, Martina, what's your point? I mean, so what? But then again, three things are happening. Your thinking gets outsourced because when you consume and then you consume the next post, you stop asking yourself at the point at at one point at least, what do I think? Does that resonate with me? Is this actually something that's just clickbaity and that actually has no point at all? Do you see the contradiction sometimes in those posts? Do you see the juxtaposition? Or do you see that it's completely biased? Do you see that it's just uh uh you know posted for engagement, for you know, boosting their kind of engagement on their platform or on their on their pages? And we uh so I absorb and I did not ask myself anymore what's actually being shown to me. So again, your thinking gets outsourced. And the other thing you that's happened to me, I confused this stimulation with growth. So I feel like I'm busy mentally because I consume information and I feel like oh, that's great, and oh I didn't know that, and one dopamine hit after the other, and I thought like wow, I'm learning. But actually, no, I'm not. I am consuming without a deeper understanding of this topic because I don't have the attention span. I can do this maybe with one post, but can you do this with 10 posts? No, you can't. Wait, my dog is snoring. Nabu, I'm recording. Could you just please, Naboo? Sorry about that. Ah, my babies. So I thought that I'm learning, but in the end of the day, I actually just overstimulated myself to that extent that I completely mentally drained, and I wasn't even like I was I I was starting to become lazy to critically think. I was like, yeah, what's the point? So I ended up just reacting to those posts. And then also, what it also does is the third point your inner voice gets quieter. And I think most of the women, at least I'm working with, I'm working with them to help them not quieting their inner voice, but making that louder, making that more a dominant voice. But with those consuming of content, and that's also counting for your emails, because I don't know, but I have in the past subscribed to a lot of newsletters, sometimes by really great content creators, but that information is not longer aligned with me. I don't want even in those emails, everything is so less nuanced. And you know, I know it myself because I have been sending emails for many, many years, and there's not so much space that you can, you know, obviously put all the information in. But then I'm like, okay, I need to stop those and unsubscribe to everything because I'm like, I don't want to be pulled into even emails. Emails are sometimes a little bit have a little bit more depth or quote those things, those studies, or bring in some more facts and more nuances. But you know, I get 10 emails from 10 different content creators, and everyone is telling me something else where I'm doing something wrong. Hey, you don't know my life. I know my life better, and I know when I'm thinking critically, where am I developing or where I should, you know, maybe do things more differently. So yeah, that was quite a rant, but that is just what I wanted to explain with what the algorithm does. To me, at least. I'm speaking here from my own experience. And when I say I my transformation, my goal, my intention is to live an algorithm-free life that actually does not mean I'm deleting everything, I'm going offline, I'm living in a cave, and I don't want to hear from anything or anyone. It just means I want to change who is in charge. So I don't allow the algorithm to be in charge. I want to be in charge of the tool and making very, very sure that the algorithm isn't driving what I'm consuming, which is very, very difficult. But yeah, again, when I use Instagram, I go in with a job, I know I want to post a story, I go there, post it, and get off the platform, and I'm not looking at the post. This is very, very hard, but honestly, it gives me a lot of time to get also a bit bored, and that's exactly where I want to be. I want to be at that spot where I have the luxury of what am I doing right now? You know, I'm like, I'm off work, I have I walked walked my dogs, I have maybe cooked, I have a window of an hour, half an hour, whatever. What can I do with this time? So I'm like, wow, that's so great. I can now read my book. And I have I'm reading now the gr the account of Monte Cristo, which is a very, very the thick book, but it's actually very good. It's written in a very old language, which makes it sometimes really hard to understand those old words in English that no one uses anymore. So it sharpens my focus in my mind because I realized when I read a book just a month ago, I could read maybe a page or two, and then I'm like, oh my god, okay, let's have a look at Instagram or have a look of YouTube if my favorite insta and favorite content creator posted another political, politically dividing post that I'm getting hooked on. So and now I can read for half an hour in one go, which is huge for me. It's huge for me because I am, I feel my attention span gets longer. And that is actually such a big win. And maybe for you it's easy to read a book for an hour or two. For me, half an hour uninterrupted is a big win. And what and then obviously, you know, I had to think about creative things I want to incorporate into my life, not to reduce the boredom, because I think boredom is very important. It actually helps you to, you know, to clear your mind. It also helps you to think more in depth and more deeply because you your brain has a little bit of time to process and to not necessarily rest, but to, you know, to sort it through itself through. So I was like, okay, what else can I do? And I bought recorder flute where in in December, which I'm practicing a couple of times a week, maybe five minutes, sometimes ten minutes. Yesterday it was like 20 minutes. I went into the guest bedroom, locked myself in there, so that my dogs are not next to me and distract me. And I played a song of Beethoven, and it was just so good. I mean, obviously, you know, playing an instrument is super healthy for your brain because you know you have to like really think deeply, you are forming new neural pathways, it's very stimulating in a very grounding way. So I did that yesterday, for example. I started learning Spanish again. So I took one and a half of a month of break. I started with a new teacher, and it's been fantastic. And I'm studying every day for a few minutes right now, very deep in verbs and conjugating. And obviously, this is not the most like you know, desirable part of learning a language, it's like practicing those irregular verbs. Oh my god, but it's it's part of the game, and I want to speak fluently in a year, so I have a big journey ahead of me. And yeah, learning a language obviously is making me so proud of myself because I always wanted to learn Spanish and I always felt like, oh, I should have learned it in grad school or you know, earlier in my life because it's it's easier. But you know what? That's such a bad thinking because in the end of the day, you can still do the very thing that you wanna wanna learn. You can still go back, maybe even to grad school and study the thing that you wanted to study, but then didn't end up studying. I'm just saying. And then I also ordered a coloring book. I had a coloring book, I think, three or four years ago that I gave away. I still have the pencils, so they're the colors, the coloring things, and I started coloring again, which is also so grounding. So I'm obviously, you know, finding those things to replace this doom scrolling with. And it's also I'm also doing it for grounding myself and for sparking more creativity because in the end of the day, my critical thinking and my creativity and kind of my self-confidence became quite a hit with being so immersed in this on with this phone that I have that has all the platforms, and yeah, I I just thought I don't I don't want this anymore. So I was like, okay, let's let's change it. And honestly, it's been uh only not even a week, it's been five days, and it's been really great so far. There are obviously days where it's harder where I'm like maybe didn't sleep as well, so I had a night where I'm not where I wasn't sleeping so well. So my focus was a little bit harder the the the day the next day, and then of course I found myself more like okay, I want to just scroll a little bit, but then obviously I stopped myself in the tracks before I even really started scrolling. So then I was like, hmm, what should I do, you know? And then I'm like, yeah, study, you know, Spanish. And while I wasn't the most motivated in the beginning, I was like, okay, let's do a few verbs, stay committed, and then obviously, you know, it really helps you to take a pencil and take a sheet of paper and writing down the verbs. And I also gamify the whole thing because you know I also know a little bit of stimulation here and there is not too bad if it's chosen wisely. So there is a great website I found where they gamify the irregular verbs and regular verbs, for example, in Spanish. So it's it's more fun to learn those verbs, because in the end of the day, you know, just learning with with in the old in the old school way, with just you know, with a paper and a pen, and then maybe a table where you have all these irregular verbs listed. It's useful, but it's like, you know, also not so enjoyable. So again, it's not about not using technology, but it's using technology in a way to add onto your life, into your life, but not having it comp like because I'm not learning languages with technology only, right? You have a I have a real tutor who I speak to weekly. I have my Spanish books that I'm using for studying the verbs, the words, vocabularies, but then also I gamify it. And the best way how to gamify it is there are so many great websites that have you know multiple choice questions or they have crosswords, and I really enjoy those things. And in the crossword words, you obviously have to type in the right word, but then the gamification the fun is then you know you get applause. For example, if you hit enter and it's the right word and it's written correctly and all that stuff. So that's great. And then I'm choosing that consciously to make studying and learning a bit more fun because obviously I know I want to be consistent, but I also don't want to do only that, right? I still want to come back to my desk and do it the old way, how I studied 20 years ago, languages. So anyway, I digress here. So that is what I am currently on to, and I don't know, maybe that sparked some inspiration. Maybe you are starting to question yourself how much of the algorithm is reigning your life, is managing your life, is influencing your life. Because again, it's not just happening to me, it's happening to everyone, and it gets worse and worse because those algorithms get better and better by the minute, I feel so. And I also know with all this technology and this social media consumption, the mental health of the people, as much as we know already, is getting obviously it's deteriorating. And there's a reason for it, and I'm like, okay, I want to make sure I can set an example, maybe as I said in the beginning, for because I'm becoming a mom maybe at one point, for you know, for my clients, for teaching them that as well, but also for me and for you know for my future version that will thank me that I stopped being driven by algorithm, by that algorithm that dictates what I think, what I feel, because also it invokes emotions in me of outrage, where I'm like, why am I outraged about this? This is not this is such bullshit information, or that's it even true. And there are other things that I can be outraged about, or maybe not outraged at all, because if there's something that annoys me, I'm going to change it. So that's what I wanted to share with you. And this matters so much because we live under the algorithm, and your attention is rented, your thinking is influenced, and obviously all your priorities are shaped in a way. And that in the end drains your energy. And you know, when you start living more algorithm-free, you start becoming more yourself. You kind of feel more of like perspectives that you engage in that come from you, not from something you just read. And you choose what enters your brain, what stays, and what matters, and I think that is the big power behind it all. So, before this goes into an hour of an episode, I'll pause here. I'm I would love to hear your thoughts and also what you think about an algorithm-free life, and if you think this is possible or not in your life. I know it's not entirely possible for me to cut it 100%, but if I cut it to 70-80%, hey, that makes a big difference, and I can feel already my focus is sharper. I, you know, have more time to contemplate. I, you know, I kind of feel just a little bit more sharper in the way I think, and also I don't feel such a roller coaster anymore because I'm not fed any dramatic, catchy, clickbaity, sometimes even wrong headlines that evoke emotions in me that you know that is just unnecessary to have those emotions evoked in the first place. So having that all said, I'm curious what you think about it. I'll keep you posted on this journey. I hope you enjoyed what I was sharing today. Hope it gives you inspiration to maybe rethink that for your own self as well. And yeah, if I don't hear from you, I'll definitely talk to you next week. So thank you so much for being with me, being on this journey and tuning in today with me. And I wish for all of us to stop this brain rot that's happening from the algorithm. So I wish you a lovely weekend, lovely week ahead, and um as much as you can an algorithm free life. Talk to you soon. Bye.