Access Denied: Why I Revoked Emotional Access to Me— And You Can Too

In today’s episode, Martina shares a personal moment that turned into a powerful reflection on identity, growth, and something we don’t talk about enough:

The people who keep you in your past.

After receiving a message from someone who casually described her former self as “depressed and burned out,” Martina found herself unexpectedly irritated. Not because the comment was outright rude—but because of what it subtly implied.

This episode dives into:

•  Why it feels so uncomfortable when others narrate your past for you 
•  How people freeze you in a version of yourself you’ve already outgrown 
•  The psychology behind why we feel the need to correct or defend ourselves 
•  And the deeper question: Who actually deserves access to your current self?

Martina also walks you through three grounded ways to respond in these situations—from silence, to light boundaries, to direct communication—so you can choose what feels aligned without overexplaining or overgiving.

This is a conversation about identity, emotional boundaries, and reclaiming authority over your own story.

Because growth isn’t just becoming someone new—
 it’s also refusing to be defined by outdated mirrors.

And sometimes the most powerful response… is no response at all.

Follow Martina on Instagram @femmagical for behind-the-scenes content, updates, and more!

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Also, share this episode with friends and family who need a reminder about the importance of health and boundaries.

Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice.

Transcript

A Compliment That Felt Off

Martina 0:00

In today's episode, I want to share a personal moment with you that caught me off guard because on the surface it looked like a compliment, but it certainly didn't land that way. And what I realized is something that we don't talk about enough. How people can still relate to a version of you that you've already outgrown, and sometimes even a version that was never fully accurate to begin with. So today we are getting into identity, emotional boundaries, and who actually gets access to the version of you that exists now. Because growth is not just about becoming someone new, it's also about not letting other people define you through outdated or maybe even incomplete mirrors. And sometimes the most powerful move is quietly booking emotional access to you. Happy Friday and especially happy 1st of May. I know in some countries, especially in Europe, 1st of May is a public holiday. It's not in the US. We had have to work. Something that kind of occupied my mind for a certain amount of time and I've reflected upon it and I thought I'll just share it right away. But before I do, I just want to tell you when I woke up today at 6 a.m., I went on my balcony because I always have some warm water with me and hydrating myself and I'm reading a book on my phone. But then somehow my mind and my eyes drifted to the water because I have a water view from my balcony. Very stunning one. If you're not connected with me on Instagram, you might not know the view, but it's really nice. You see downtown Miami, you see the bay, and a lot of water and a lot of sky. It's really heavenly. And when I looked out of like from my book, like my Kindle, I suddenly saw a dolphin playing around in the bay. And it was so cute and so special because I don't know why, but I'm obsessed with dolphins more when I see them live. Not obviously, you know, on TV or anything, you know, but it's kind of like, you know, I grew up with Flipper. I don't know if you know um, its name is Flipper. Flipper da da da da. It's this TV series from the 80s, I think, or even earlier than this, maybe 70s. I don't know when they actually filmed Flipper. Okay, I cheated. I just put pause on my podcast just to check about when Flipper was kind of shot, and it was in 64, and it had three seasons. So I'm not sure if you grew up with Flipper, but I certainly did. So I mean 64 isn't that old? I mean it's crazy. Yeah, so I grew up with it, and I was fascinated as a small kid, because obviously Austria that I grew up in, you know, there is no ocean, there is no sea, there's maybe some some lakes here and there, but that's about it. So for me, like a dolphin and this boy that then kind of connected with Flipper and then the adventures they had together. To me, I mean, that was the shit back then, okay? So that kind of marked my childhood, and that's also one of the reasons I am so crazy with Flipper. Anyway, I just thought I'll share that with me, with me, with you, not with me. I'm not sharing this with me. Oh my god, I am so not focused. I apologize, but I'm getting into my PMS in this kind of phase of the cycle, and my my brain is always scattered and all over the place. But okay, now I wanna go into what we're talking today about. So there's something, and I think that's a lot more common than we admit. So it's it's so what I want to talk to you about is about people who keep you in your past. And those people are not necessarily toxic people, it's also not obvious sabotage, it is way more subtle than this. What I refer to people who keep you in your past is those kind of people who still relate to you as your former self. So these are people who are not in your everyday life or you or who you are not in constant or you know, more regular contact, and they know you from a time where you are not at your best. Whatever that was, you know, you know, you have maybe gone through a breakup or a divorce. Some of my friends are divorced, or you know, some problem with children, or I don't know, a professional challenge, whatever that is, maybe a disease, maybe you know, one of your loved ones passed away and you were grieving. So whatever it is is, you know, we all are old enough to have undergone a lot of experiences and challenging situations where we were not our at our best. And now at our best means, you know, maybe we have been burnt out, maybe we have been depressed, maybe we have been all over the place. Maybe we were not looking like externally as our best, whatever. So, and those are the people that then still reference, you know, to you as this former self. And I wanna tell you that this week I got, no, last week, two weeks ago, I got a message from an acquaintance. I'm not sure where exactly I met him, but I think it was one of my many, you know, trainings and courses that I took when I was still back in Austria, where you know, I was at the peak of my professional career. That was, and I, you know, lived in Austria, had a long-distance relationship with my now husband back then, was my boyfriend. He lived in the US, I lived in Austria. So you can tell this, there were lots or lots of things going on, and also at the same time, I was deep in the self-development, self-growth, discovering myself phase. Also, I wanted to do something, even though I was at the peak of my career and I learned a ton, I really, really wanted to do more out of my life, so I knew kind of that corporate will not be my forever thing, or at least I want to have something else, like taking courses and trainings to to have a different profession. And it was very much into psychology, and I did a training for NLP, so I'm actually a certified NLP trainer, which is quite a big deal because a trainer is obviously not it's not a coach, it's a trainer. So I could actually hold you know, workshops, seminars, even like a training to certify someone as an NLP. So NLP, I know it's something more fading, not something that's you know trending at all. Back then I started with NLP. I was really fascinated about all these techniques, and you know, some of them are good, some of them I'm like, yeah, whatever, you know. I know NLP doesn't necessarily enjoy the best reputation. You know, I mean, this was like how long is this ago? 10 years ago almost. So yeah, back then, you know, there wasn't as many other things offered as today, because 10 years ago, even though there was a lot of things that you could do, definitely not such an abundance of education, trainings, courses, and so on and so forth. So I knew this person from one of those courses and whatever, whatnot. And these were all in-person courses and trainings. So I, you know, took time off my weekends, evenings to attend the mandatory courses and trainings. So it's definitely been, you know, on top of my back then corporate job. And it wasn't an easy feat my corporate job because I was managing out of a sudden 20 engineers worldwide, and I was in a very masculine world. I was the only female leader there, so I can share so many things, and I should do a podcast about this at some point because there was so much that I learned and struggled with at the same time. So this was that. At the same time, I met that person. Obviously, I, you know, this long-distance relationship with my now husband hasn't always been easy on us because there were months that we just didn't see each other, or you know, traveling forth and back is also exhausting. So it's I I've been flying to the US so much because obviously it was easier for means for me. I had the means and I had the freedom to work from the US too. So that's why I put like all the effort in flying to my husband because he worked in a in a lab, in a laboratory laboratory, and couldn't just, you know, go as much as I could, and he hadn't as many days off as I had. So it was definitely a challenging time. So and the person like reached out to me out of a sudden and asked me, Hey, how are you doing? And so the person is connected with me via Facebook and is like nice to see you. So he seemed to watch my stories, he knew quite a deal, a big deal about me. And then he just asked, you know, hey, are you ever going back to Austria? And you know, I was like, I mean, I haven't been in contact with this person for I don't know, nine years, eight years. I mean, I kept contact with him after our courses ended because I know that when I was still in Austria, he lived then somewhere completely else in Austria, far away actually from Vienna. We kept in contact, you know, he was a nice guy, you know, but that's it. So then, you know, I responded, obviously delighted if you know someone like says something like, Hey, how are you doing? you know, and I had good memories of him, so it was definitely a nice guy. And you know, so yeah. And then a few days later he responded to my messages saying, Oh my god, I love seeing you so happy now. So again, showed me that he might have watched my stories on Facebook, even though I posted on Instagram, but you know, they are interconnected anyway. And then he said, Because back then, when I met you, you looked really depressed and burnt out. That was it. That's it. And honestly, I don't know what you think of this message, but I got irritated with what I heard. That was my first reaction, was irritation. And you know, recalling the message, I still feel inside of me this like, oh dare you, you know. And I sat with this and I was confused. I was confused about my irritation. I was confused about the intention of this message. Because what the F, what do you wanna do say here? You know, you wanna insult me, you wanna hurt my feelings, or are you just you know, just clumsy and expressed something that maybe you shouldn't have expressed, and then I mean, as a woman, you would never write this to another woman, and if she does, you know that she's malicious. No woman would ever write this to another woman unless she has really wild intentions. But this is a guy, and sometimes I know guys are super clumsy, and not to excuse this now. We'll go into this now, and I also wanna, you know, let you know what I responded and what options I came up with that I wanna give you if you get such a message. So there's a lot to unpack, but let's do it step by step. So, again, not to excuse men, but I feel like sometimes from my past experiences dealing with a lot of men, especially in the corporate world, people can really express themselves very clumsily in front of a woman where I'm feeling like wow. I mean, not it wasn't meant in a bad way, but it landed in a bad way. You know what I mean? I I don't know how you experienced this in your past, but yeah. So I was like, you know, like oh so I sat with that. And it was not a full outrage, I was just this quiet internal. Why does that feel off to me? Because on the surface, well, you could say, you know, yeah, it sounds okay, it sounds like maybe like nice, maybe like a compliment, you know, because he said, like, oh my god, I love seeing you so happy now. Because back then, when I met you, you looked really sad, sad or depressed. He said, depressed and burnt out. So you could say this is a compliment, right? And I think if I show this message to my husband, he wouldn't even bet an Alish. He would just be, yeah, what he's now giving you a compliment and you look good, you know. So I mean, that's also why I'm not talking about my like talking about this with my husband, because I'm like, you know, maybe a man doesn't get it as much, but I know most of my listeners are women, so I thought, like, I'll bring it up because I I do believe that we women get a lot of those comments or messages, or someone says it to us directly in the face, and then is how do you respond in that moment without overreacting, but also without shrugging it off, laughing it away, and like, oh yeah, ha ha ha ha. So, and again, on the surface it looks like whatever, you know, a compliment sounds nice, but underneath it do carry something else. I can't help myself, and I'm trying not to read into people's messages or between the lines, but I'm an in-between line reader, and I'm definitely not the person, to be very honest with you, that always thinks people are innocent. You know what I mean? I'm always more like I'm very, I'm very how do you say this in English? How do you say this even in German? I don't know, but I'm always reading it to the negative first before I give them a chance for the positive, especially with my first reaction, and then obviously, you know, sitting with it, reflecting upon it, journaling about it, and then sitting with the emotion and what it means about me, and obviously this is more about me than about that person, you know. Until this, I feel like there's something else there. So I mean, I knew back then I was struggling, it was a challenging time. And but you know, looking at this message, the way how you phrased it, it startly says something like, I knew you when you were struggling, or that version of you is the version I still reference, right? So even today you changed, the way how I bring up your past version is in the way I knew you. That's how you were. And it's also like I'm going to define your then versus now story for you. And you know I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask him to let me know how he sees me today versus when he met me. And here's then what I realized. I wasn't upset because he noticed I've changed, obviously not. I was irritated because they pos he positioned himself as a narrator of my past identity. And you know, when you know someone and this person didn't know me well, okay, so mind you, he wasn't something I spent he wasn't a person who spent, let's say, a short time, but very intense time, like you know, we spent 24-7 together, not at all. You know, we just you know sometimes went to lunch when we had course, or you know, maybe after the course or training we went for drinks with other people, so you know, and you know, I hardly honestly remember him that well because it's been a long time and it wasn't a lot of time spent with that person. And you know, but then it like bringing up a moment in my life where I definitely had issues in a way, because I tried to juggle multiple things. And yeah, he positions himself as the narrator of my past, and that was just a short glimpse, you know. So he didn't know me well, he just pointed out maybe the the challenging, the negative, if you will, whatever. And I'm like, there was so much more to me than this. I was a fun person back then still. I hadn't had a stick in my ass. Sorry the expression, but you know, I've definitely not a depressed person. Definitely not. I have never been in my entire life depressed. I was sad, I was angry, I struggled after breakups, but like this was crazy. Especially knowing that I was absolutely in love with my back then husband, back then boyfriend and now husband. I had a career at its peak, so yeah, there were moments I was definitely juggling because I did too many things at once. And being burnt out, well, I wouldn't call it burned out. I've never been burnt out, I never had to take a sick lift in my entire life when I was working, mind you, okay? I've been working for more than 20 years in corporate whatever. So you know, I'm like, I can feel it, like I'm so loaded. Oh my god. Yeah, and then like you know, it's it's like they are saying back then you were this, and now thank god you were this. But I don't actually need a person telling my transformation back to me. I have lived it, I know more than this person knows. I know it wasn't just a challenging time, it was a lot of fun, loving time, adventurous time, exciting time. And some people just don't update you. They kind of freeze you, they freeze especially the worst moments of you. Or maybe, you know, maybe I've had a sad day or say sad week. Who knows? I mean, I don't even recall it to be honest with you, because if I don't recall it also, I think it's not even worth mentioning it. And you know, they met you once in your life during a specific season, and then they keep interacting with that version of you, even though you have completely changed, moved on, you completely have an upgraded identity. So, and these are the people every time they see you, consciously or unconsciously, they pull you back into that frame. The burnt version, the burnt-out version, the struggling version, the figuring out version, you know, because at that time I was in my early 30s, I had to figure out a lot of things. Even if you are now in a completely different place, they still come with that version. And I am not saying that they do that often intentionally because sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it. But here's the deeper layer I want to offer you. When someone insists on telling you who you used to be, it can quietly challenge your own kind of freedom and authority over your own identity. Because of course, you know, you start wondering, do they still see me that way? Am I still the person in their mind? Do I need to defend how far I have come? Because it's almost 10 years. And suddenly, well, you were kind of pulled into a conversation with a version of you that does not even exist in the slightest anymore. So what I've been learning in this is not everyone is allowed to narrate narrate narrate my transformation. And some people only have the access to a chapter of your story, but definitely not of your full blog, and that is okay. But I also get to decide something important. Do they get further access to me? Or was it that one? And also, I don't need that's the conclusion of this whole thing. I don't need to emotionally participate in someone else's outdated version of me. Especially not someone who I don't give a hot dime about. I don't know if that's even an expression, but it just came out of my mind. And you know I was wondering how should I react to this? That was actually the most grappling part. I was like, hmm. Hmm. What do I do? But then again, as a reminder to myself and also to you, I don't need to correct this. I don't need to overexplain it, and I don't need to prove how much I have changed. So, because honestly, in my mind, I obviously had prepared an answer. You know, when you get a message, and then in your mind, you're first of all coping with your initial reactions, and then when they subside, you are like, okay, and now this is what I will respond. Just in your mind. I do this a lot. Oh my god, and there are sometimes so many nasty thoughts. But I I let that play out. I let my shadow come on the forefront. I'm not suppressing it, and I would also not recommend you doing it. Because to be honest with you, as long as you're aware of your shadow and coming up with nasty thoughts and I don't know, sentences that, you know, are definitely not nice to read. You can do that in your mind as long as you just don't hit the press button. I mean, you can journal about it, but you know, when I do this, I would never send a message this raw and this emotional and this nasty to someone. But I might journal about it. I might tell my journal what I think of this person, you know, or what I would respond to this person. And these were definitely not the nicest thoughts. And who cares? It is allowed to think this way. So never suppress your shadow, but don't let your shadow dictate the actions or take over your ship and steer it in a way that you later definitely regret. So, you know, I was like, should I keep quiet and just say, like, okay, if you whatever however you meant it, I don't need to, you know, give that person further access to me. Especially not to this version of me that I have worked my butt off, that I manifested, that I dreamt of, that was sacred to me, that involved a lot of work and growth and a lot of pain to get there. This was not the easiest journey in my life. And I'm like, that is so sacred to me, the wisdom, that I don't want to waste it. Because of course I wanted to defend it, to explain it, to say, like, ah da da da, you know, that is not true, and you know, or whatever. I was like, no, we're not going into any correction, we're not going into any over-explanation or defending of that matter. Because sometimes the most powerful response is an internal one, it's the one that you have with yourself. And that was when I came to when I told myself, okay, that was then, this is now, and I'm not available for that storyline anymore. And I don't have to give this person emotional access to me. Because growth is not about becoming someone new, it's not just about, oh, being someone totally new. It's also about not letting old mirrors define you now or make you insecure. And yeah, some people are holding outdated mirrors in front of us, and our internal reaction is the gold that you need to dig out in order for this not to face you any longer, and also to not, if someone else comes up again, you know, because the universe, I always say the universe, but God always puts tests out there, I feel. Like small little subtle tests of like, you know, are you ready for your next lay or are you ready for your next evolution? And then he comes up with people staying or doing something to us, and our internal goal is what guides us for the next person coming our way with maybe something that's not that nice. And um, I decided I will do another podcast episode, or maybe the next one, where I'm like talking about why we so badly want to control how other people see us and how we then sometimes fall into over-explaining and into correcting someone's picture about us. But I thought that's just too much information, and I will put that into a new episode next week, maybe. Because more important for me is to give you some of the options on how to navigate this, and then obviously I will tell you what I did. Um yeah, so the first thing is to ignore and don't engage, and that is totally valid. I feel this is also so underrated, this going silence, because I feel like silence speaks louder than anything that you can actually type back to a person that writes you something like this. Because the first moment I was like, I will, you know, I will have I have to respond. I have to tell him that this is not okay, no matter how it's meant, even if it's meant in a positive, innocent way, it's just not okay. And I will emotionally and socially correct him for this so that he doesn't do this again to somebody else. And maybe I'll do him a service by telling him how this actually, like what taste it left in my mouth. But then on the other hand, I don't owe, and you neither, okay? You neither. You don't owe anyone emotional education. You just don't. Especially people who are anyway tone-deaf. So that is why silence often is gold. And silence does not always mean compliance or saying or agreeing with something, because there are people sometimes saying, Oh, a silence means that you agree with it. No, F you. No, it does not. But sometimes we are in the midst of something and then it's better. We are not reacting, and maybe just digging out the internal goal that was ever that was anyway meant for us to dig out, and someone just mirrors something or says something for us to then, you know, get into this whole thing. And it doesn't mean I comply with this. But again, you don't owe anyone an emotional education, and that is what I told myself and held myself back. I'm like, no, I don't need to do that. I don't have to do that. You know, I don't really care about that person. I wish that person well. I have absolutely, and I promise you, no ill feelings towards this person because come on, I mean, could be just again more of a clumsy way of r writing something. You know, but I don't, you know, it's not one of my best friends. I have a lot of best male friends that I feel like I want them to do well outside this world, outside in this world, and I don't want them to have a bias or a way of talking to women that will land very badly for women, that will hurt women. Because sometimes, you know, you can say this maybe to a guy and he's like, you know, whatever, shrugs it off. But for us women, you know, it's not so easy. We feel more deeply. And this is not just a statement that I, you know, invented. Scientifically, women feel deeper and more emotion and more depth. That's just what it is. So, but then you know, he's not my best friend. I don't really care much. I of course wish him well and all the best, but that's about it. So, no, silence here is not avoidance, it's selective investment. That's how I called it. And again, I recommend ignoring and not engaging in any of such messages. If you A don't care about maintaining closeness with this person, because again, if that person would be close to me or I want to be closer to this person, I have I would engage. I mean, honestly, when my husband says sometimes something to me and maybe it hurts me, maybe it grates on me, or maybe whatever, whatever it does, I will speak up, I'll let him know. Because of course I want to stay close to him and he's important to me. Or B, the person is not an important part of your life, or you just don't want to spend energy teaching someone's someone social awareness, and that is so that is so important because again, silence is not avoidance, it's selective investment of your time and your energy. So this is the first part. Ignore and don't engage. The second would be a light boundary, you know, it can be obviously done in a very clean and mature way. So if you want to respond, but obviously don't want to escalate anything, you can kind of correct the framing without this being an attack to them. So I could have responded something like, and that was also one of my thoughts that I had, you know, I was like, okay, I don't have to emotionally correct them because I keep this as a selective investment to avoid, even like, like not to avoid, but to stay silent. But I was like, okay, I could have said something like I know you meant it positively or well if for that matter, but I don't really relate to that version of the story. And you can also say I wouldn't frame my past or present the way you do. So this was something I really, really liked. And I was very like, I was like, hmm, that sounds like mature, very low drama. I mean, there's no drama at all in that statement. You know, I really liked it. And and I also wrote down another response that I really liked that was like, hey, just a small side note. I wouldn't describe my past self the way, but I get your intention. So those are these two ways that I could see myself responding. So again, I know you meant it positively, but I don't really relate to that version of the story. I wouldn't frame my past or presented way, or just as a side note, I wouldn't describe my past self the way, but I get your intention. So this does three things. It sets a boundary. It also kind of takes away their authority, authority over my or your narrative, and also it keeps everything socially intact. So there is no attacking, there is no snipe remark on my end, you know, or underhanded kind of compliment or remark. So, and there is also no lecture. Could you feel when I said, like, you know, yeah, I know you meant it possibly, but don't relate to that version of your of your story, you know. It just not a lecture, and there is no emotional charge, there's just clarity, you know, how I see it. So that could be something as a potential second option. So again, a light boundary or ignore and don't engage. And then I also picked a third kind of option because I really sat with this for a while, also because I knew I wanna speak to you on a podcast and offer you good options. So another option that I really, really liked is being very direct and firm. And I'd recommend you doing this if you're really, really so bothered by it and it doesn't let your mind go. So, if for example, if I don't want to just address the comment but the address the pattern, I came up with the response like the following. I prefer not to have my past free framed like uh framed like that. It feels reducive and not really accurate. I'm not the same person I was back then, but I also don't see my past in those terms. Boom. Hey, I like it. How do you feel about that? I'm wondering. Because of course I cannot ask you now, but I feel like wow, you know, this and alone coming up with those options, I feel like I get my power back, I get my power back. And yeah, so this is for you if you actually want to kind of train and frame the relationship dynamic. So it really gives you a lot of power because you know, you say very clearly, obviously, a boundary, but also you're very direct and firm, you know, and you can say it feels reduced reductive and not accurate. So that's these three options, and um yeah. So just gathering my thoughts for a moment. Yeah, and then also obviously, you know, I had a deeper question, why would he say that? You know, could be anything, and I hate guessing people's intention, to be honest with you, because you know, I could then go into any into into storytelling, and you know, your mind always brings up the wildest and craziest stories that are obviously not true. I think the most important part is that I assume he wasn't probably thinking proper properly no properly, properly thinking, sorry. So he wasn't like, you know, let me define her identity. He was, I think, maybe thinking, oh, I'm expressing some something nice and I will notice change in her. So I I went with this version. I genuinely genuinely when I tune into my gut feeling, I don't think at all he had any bad intentions at all. He was just, as I said in the beginning, multiple times, clumsy. So now I wanna tell you. I decided, obviously, that I don't respond at all. Even though I liked the direct and firm response or the slight boundary, I decided to stay with the selective investment of, you know, staying silent. Not you know, I have not been avoiding the situation because I've worked within me, on me. I shared this now with you on the podcast, but I I don't owe anyone emotional education who is not close to me. So I went with that because then it's not wasting time on somebody else. I stay within me and use the goal to do something good with it. So, and again, I hate overexplaining. I s I think one of the most important things to me is to not overexplain myself and also not to explain myself at all. And that leads me to this new podcast that I want to record of like why we are so wanting to call to control other people's narrative about our about us, right? How people see us. Because sometimes if I have conversations with girlfriends, they repeat back something to me about me, and I'm like, oh no, that's not exact, that's not at all how I either said it, how I'm thinking, or who I am, and then I see myself or find myself like going into explaining. But that's okay because these are my besties, my close people, people I know, they don't have any bad thoughts, they just want my best. So, but then still, you know, I know it from my past that even with people that I didn't care about, I still wanted them to see me in whatever light, and that's just taking so much energy. So, and there's one last thing I want to leave you with before we are closing down today's episode, and that is also a very grounded way to ask yourself a specific question that also helped me answering intuitively which of the three options I want when I wanted to go with, which was again silence. So the question is do I want more of this person in my emotional space? Because if I respond to him with a boundary or being direct and firm, how that felt that message, and that I don't see blah blah bloody bloody bloody. I give that person emotional space, emotional access. And I don't need that. I don't want that. I wish I wish the person the best, and that's it. I sent them off. Close down the conversation by silence, work on myself, because it tells me more about me than about them. Because why is it irritating for me? Because again, I didn't like the way how he was framing my past that I would never frame it as depressed or burnt out. Okay? These are strong freaking words too. They are charged words, they are loaded words. You cannot say this to somebody, especially if that wasn't diagnosed. It's different if, you know, I'm like, yeah, I was burnt out and depressed, and I went to a psychotherapy who the psychotherapist who diagnosed me and I wasn't sick. But that was never the case, never at all. I've never been depressed, unhappy, irritated, disappointed, yeah, all sorts of emotions, but depression? Seriously, no. So well, I just now go with silence, cut off the emotional space, and I'm absolutely happy with this. And you know what? I'm also happy because I could turn this into a podcast episode, and I feel it's a good one. I don't know what your thoughts are about today and everything I shared with you. If you feel like you could take on one of these options or you like one better than the other, or maybe you say like you didn't like any of these three options, you have a better way how you would respond, then please share with me or with us. I will definitely, if you have something else that I wasn't thinking of, I will I will, you know, use that and update you in my next podcast episodes, you know, the responses that you gave me. So you always have a word here to say too, you know, this is not me lecturing you or teaching you something. I used to do this, but I felt like no, now I'm talking about my lived experiences. And sometimes my lived experiences don't are not relatable, or you say I wouldn't do it, I would do it a different way. And that is so fair and you know good because we're all different, we live in different phases of our lives, we're achieving different milestones, and some sometimes we cross the path and it's it's similar, we're in a similar situation, and sometimes not. But I thought this one would be definitely worth for me to record a podcast. So to this person who sent me this, who might not even ever tune into my podcast, really virtually at least, send you blessings and gratitude your way for gifting us with this new podcast episode. And I say that with no sarcasm. So if you feel there was sarcasm at it, no, it didn't come, it came from my heart and not from my ego. And while my ego was slightly bruised when I received it, and I was irritated for a couple of hours, and I had to sit and journal and like you know how come? Now I'm sitting here with you, my loves, and I am just grateful because at least I got to share this with you. And I hope that wherever you tune in to from that this was worth your 40 plus minutes. And if you came that far in this episode, thank you for tuning in and being with me on this journey. And if you have any thoughts, comments, please ping me on Femagical on Instagram. I'd love to hear from you, and yeah, I wish you a wonderful month of May. I wish you love, I wish I also send you a lot of gratitude your way, and I wish you a wonderful weekend, and let's celebrate that we have all a blessed life in one way or the other. So again, be careful who you give emotional space to. Your life is sacred, you are sacred, you are worthy, but not worthy to have to give people access to you that don't cherish that. Okay, your access, the access to you, to your heart, to your wisdom, and to your love is sacred. And not everyone deserves this, okay? I love you. Thanks for tuning in, and I'll hear you and see you. We're