S2:E3: Energy Intelligence (Solo)

Most people feel exhausted not because they do too much, but because they absorb too much emotional noise from work, relationships, and the world. We break down how to notice negative energy without owning it, and how that one skill changes leadership, stress, and home life.

• redefining energy as emotional, mental, relational, and physical force 
• recognizing how unmanaged stimuli create emotional exhaustion 
• learning the difference between awareness and absorption 
• a leadership story about filtering tension without denying reality 
• using stimulus, recognition, regulation, and response to stay grounded 
• understanding how stress transfers into teams and families 
• practicing the rule that not every stimulus deserves emotional residency 

If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. 

Nick@timeandenergy.co 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:29

Welcome back to the Time and Energy Podcast. Nick Lackaduck here. Thank you for joining me on our next episode. We're talking about energy. And I want to start with something I've been thinking a lot about lately. Most people think that exhaustion comes from doing too much. And sure, sometimes that's true, but honestly, I think a lot of people are exhausted because they absorb too much. Every opinion, every problem, every email, every tense conversation, every piece of bad news, every

Why Exhaustion Feels So Common

SPEAKER_01 0:59

emotional reaction from another person, it all sticks. And after a while, people start carrying emotional weight that was never theirs to carry in the first place. And so that's the detail of what I want to talk about today in the vein of energy. But probably not in the way most people talk about it, because when people hear energy, they usually think of one of two things. They think of productivity or they think of grounding their feet in the grass in their backyard. And hey, look, if if you're into that, by all means, you do you. I live up here in North Dakota, however, and six months out of the year, if I were to try to do that on a regular basis, I would either not find any grass to use, or I'd probably freeze a couple toes off, but I digress. And so when I talk about energy, I mean something very real. And I mean emotional, mental, relational, and physical force we experience, absorb, and direct every single day. Because whether we realize it or not, energy is constantly moving. Into us, out of us, between people, inside teams, inside families, inside organizations. You can feel it within five seconds of walking into a room. If you ever walked into a meeting and immediately known something is off before

What Energy Really Means Here

SPEAKER_01 2:12

anybody speaks, that's energy. You ever spend time with somebody who makes you calmer, clear, and more grounded afterwards? That's energy too. And one of the biggest realizations I've had over the years is this is that most people don't know how to direct energy intentionally. I've been there many times myself, only knowing how to react to it. And that's a massive difference. So, a quick story. I had a leader years ago who honestly fascinated me because negative energy just didn't stick to him. It wasn't fake positivity. He wasn't ignoring problems and he wasn't pretending difficult things didn't exist. He was aware of them immediately. It was almost like he had this internal filter where he could where he could recognize emotional stimulus without absorbing it personally. He'd hear tension, he'd see frustration, he'd recognize the pressure, and instead of emotionally inhaling all of it, he

A Leader Who Filtered Negativity

SPEAKER_01 3:06

would redirect it intentionally. And so just because something enters your awareness does not mean it deserves permanent access to your emotional system. And instead of emotionally inhaling all of it, he'd redirect it intentionally, calmly, clearly, steadily. It was honestly one of the best examples of leadership that I've ever seen. And I remember realizing most people think maturity means avoiding negative energy, and that's not it at all. The goal isn't to avoid negative energy. The goal is to become aware enough that you can direct it instead of absorbing it. That changed the way I think about leadership and honestly changed the way I think about life in general. Because a lot of people are emotionally exhausted, not from the workload, but from unmanaged stimuli. They absorb everything. Bad moods become their bad moods. Other people's anxiety become their anxiety. Frustration spreads through teams like smoke through a building. And eventually people lose themselves emotionally because they never learned how to separate awareness from absorption. That's one of the questions I've started asking myself more often. And it's this how do I become more intentional about the energy I allow, absorb, and direct? To

Awareness Versus Absorption In Leadership

SPEAKER_01 4:20

me, that's a way better question than how do I just simply become more productive? Because productivity without the awareness usually just creates faster burnout, or at least it did in my personal experience. And so here's what I've learned not every stimulus deserves emotional residency inside of you. And that line matters. Because just because something enters your awareness does not mean it deserves permanent access to your emotional system. Yes, some things need action. Yes, some things need empathy, and yes, some things need accountability, but not everything deserves emotional ownership. And that distinction is huge. Because without awareness, life becomes stimulus, gap response. Many are familiar with that. But when you add in the awareness, something changes. It now becomes stimulus gap recognition, gap regulation, gap, then response. And that's where the intentionality lives, as far as I can tell. And honestly, I think this is one of the biggest separators between reactive leaders and grounded leaders. Grounded leaders don't pretend pressure doesn't exist, they just refuse to let every emotional current pull them underwater. That's emotional strength. And that's what I like to call energy intelligence. This matters at home too, because energy transfers. And if you carry unresolved stress from work into your house every single night, your family feels it. I've been there. I've been that guy. I've been the guy coming home from a long day at work that's compounded day after day, and for lack of a better way to put it, take taking it out on the people closest to me, my wife and my kids. That is not being my best when my best is required. And if you absorb the negativity all day and never process it intentionally,

Bringing Work Stress Home

SPEAKER_01 6:03

eventually that energy has to spill somewhere. And it's usually onto the people who didn't create it. And that's why awareness matters so much, not awareness so we can become robotic, awareness so we can become intentional. Because the truth is this you can't control every stimulus that enters your life, but you can become more intentional about what gets rooted inside of you. That's a skill. And honestly, probably one of the most important leadership skills that, as far as I can tell, isn't being taught today, especially now, because we live in a world built on emotional overload. People react instantly, they absorb instantly and they broadcast instantly. Think social media. Very few people pause long enough to ask: is this something I actually need to carry? And hey, maybe, maybe that's the work. You know, you don't want to become emotionless. You don't want to become detached, but becoming aware enough to choose what deserves your energy, prioritizing the energy. Because energy directed intentionally becomes extremely powerful, and energy absorbed unconsciously

Choosing What Deserves Emotional Residency

SPEAKER_01 7:05

becomes exhausting. I think a lot of people walking around right now are tired. They're not because they're weak, but because their emotional doors never close. So maybe this week the goal isn't necessarily productivity. Maybe the goal is awareness. Maybe the goal is noticing what drains you, what restores you, what follows you home, what deserves action, and what does never deserve emotional residency in the first place. That is the work and that is a practice. And honestly, that might be one of the most important forms of alignment there is. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I appreciate you taking some of your extremely valuable time and energy listening to me. If this resonates with you, I'd love to hear from you. Nick at timeergy.co. Nick at timeergy.co. Love to hear your thoughts. I'd love to hear perspectives. And if you'd like more of this content or would like to spend a little bit of time together focusing on how to best direct your energy, again, please hit me up. Make it a great day.

Awareness As The Weekly Goal

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Be at your best when your best is required. This is the Time and Energy Podcast. Take care.