Unapologetic Living with Elizabeth Elliott
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Unapologetic Living with Elizabeth Elliott
Hypnosis in Everyday Life featuring Mark Kemp
In this episode, Mark and I explore how hynposis is a natural state of focused awareness that we all experience in everyday life -- like getting lost in a good book or zoning out on a drive. As a healing tool, hypnosis helps quiet the conscious mind and access the subconscious where deep-rooted patterns, emotions, and beliefs reside. By working with the subconscious, hypnosis can support emotional release, behavior change, pain management, and overall well-being, making it a gentle yet powerful path to healing and personal transformation.
Mark Kemp, a professional Hypnotherapist, certified by the National Guild of Hypnotists. Born and raised in Connecticut, he now calls Georgia his home. He is the father of two and passionate about Hypnosis.
His journey with hypnosis began three years ago to combat chronic pain from Cerebral Palsy, and as a Licensed Optician he spends many hours on his feet causing him extreme pain. The pain would often reach an 8, on the 1-10 pain scale. As he sought a non-habit-forming, holistic approach to pain management, he stumbled upon hypnosis which decreased his discomfort substantially after each session.
He learned the science of hypnosis to share its transforming qualities with others. In both his chosen professions he is using my learned skills to assist people in making positive health choices. It is his deep-rooted desire to aid his clients in discovering and implementing positive lifestyle changes on a mental, physical and emotional level.
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Welcome back to today's episode of Unapologetic Living. I am so grateful to be here today with Mark Kemp, Certified Hypnotherapist. Welcome, Mark.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you. Good morning, good afternoon, and good evening to everyone, no matter where you are in the world.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, there are about 600. I was just looking this morning. I think it's– hold on. I can tell you exactly. 665 cities and 47 different countries and territories. So that's really cool.
SPEAKER_03:That is awesome.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I think it's neat to– you know, I'll see– sometimes I'll look at the stats and I'll see different cities pop up. And I don't know. It's definitely– rewarding to say the least to know that my message might be getting out there to someone.
SPEAKER_03:Definitely, definitely. You know, the beautiful thing about the internet and social media, it allows you to spread a message of positivity when used right and just connect us. Now, that's one of the problems with today's society. We don't connect anymore. We have AI for this or AI for that. And there's a lot of social disconnect. But I choose to turn that around and say it's a better chance for us to connect.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely. I know that. And I don't know if I shared this with you. I do some Ubering and I drive Lyft and Uber sometimes. It depends on my week and where I can fit it in or if I can fit it in or if I need to fit it in. But since COVID, I have fewer and fewer passengers that seem to want to carry on any sort of conversation with me. And we're in the same car and about two and a half feet away from one another. And I find it sad. I don't know if that's a good word, but I mean, that's just the word. I'm like, you know, we're here. We can actually be talking to one another and learning about each other. Yes. And if it's just for a few moments.
SPEAKER_03:I agree. In addition to being a certified hypnotherapist, I'm also a licensed optician. I sell eyeglasses for a living. And one thing that I do enjoy about both of my professions, it gives me an opportunity to speak to individuals, not at each other. And that's so key. It's unfortunate, but with texting and all the technology, the beautiful English language is being obliterated.
SPEAKER_00:It is. And... I, like you, working one-on-one with people, I do get to have interactions and conversations one-on-one, which I like. But again, the culture in the car has changed.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. And the only thing worse than that is when you're sitting at the dinner table and people aren't communicating. there was a time and not too distant past where the dinner table was a place to come together after the day and share your experiences and talk about things that were good and some that were less than positive, but it was a chance for us to interact. It was a chance for us to be present in each other's lives.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. I think that's why family dinner is so important. I told my kids the other day, I mean, I was part joking, part serious. Like we had gone out to eat
SPEAKER_02:A
SPEAKER_00:few weeks back. And I mean, first of all, I was ready to chuck the phones out into the street of that restaurant. But I said, you know, I didn't come out here to enjoy dinner with you while you look at your phones and can't seem to get your mind off what text has come through. I don't know that we'll be going out to eat. I'll be treating you to dinner anymore if this is what I'm going to, you know, like my, you know.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:It's just, and it's difficult because the kids especially are so, and it's not just kids. It's adults too.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. You know, the beautiful thing about technology is that it allows you to connect physically. It allows you to connect from anywhere. I remember the first time I got a call, you know, I got my first cell call. I was sitting in a McDonald's, you know, in New York. And, you know, the person that I had connected with, they were all the way in Springfield, Massachusetts. And I'm like, wow, look at that. That's amazing.
SPEAKER_00:For sure.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And FaceTime, that type of thing where you can actually see the individual on the other line. And that's where technology is amazing and a great addition to our lives.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes. I'm dating myself, but I remember back in the old Star Trek TV series where they had the communicators and then they'd be able to talk and now it's come to fruition.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, it has. I didn't watch much Star Trek, but... So I know we met through the Internet.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, actually. Yes, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_00:So and then we got to have a conversation last week, which was fascinating. And I'd love for you to share a little bit about your story. You know, I'm always looking for ways because healing and growth and transformation can take on. You know, I mean, it can take so many different paths, right, and different healing modalities to move forward or become unstuck.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes. I'll be glad to share my backstory. Well, I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but I have cerebral palsy. I am physically challenged. And in my role as a licensed optician, you know, I spend many hours a day on my feet, you know, eight to nine, sometimes 10 hours a day on my feet. And being someone with cerebral palsy, that's a bit of a challenge. I've been a licensed optician over 20 years. So prior to the You know, pandemic, the biggest talk in the medical community was the opioid crisis. Now, here I am. I've been a licensed optician for over 20 years, and I'm facing the possibility of not being able to work anymore because my pain levels were so high. You know, my pain would reach sometimes on a 10 scale as high as 8 or 9. And I searched for a holistic way to alleviate that pain. And one day I was speaking with a friend of mine, And he had said to me, why don't you try hypnosis? Jokingly. And I said, yeah, I don't know. Like most people, I dismissed it. Nah, that's just for TV. That's not real. And no one's going to control my mind. I had all the misconceptions. So, you know, then as luck would have it, a few days later, I was on the universe of YouTube, what I like to call it. And, you know, it came across my feed, you know, hypnosis for pain management. So I'm like, oh my gosh. So, I tried that file and it obviously, it didn't work, honestly. But what it did was it sparked a curiosity in me. And I began to go down the rabbit hole and I searched and searched and searched. And eventually I found one that did. And I was able to bring my pain from like an eight or nine all the way down to like a one or two. Now, I should state for the record, you should never, never, never, eliminate pain totally from your body because it's your body's alarm system saying that something's not quite right. And I'm also going to state for the record that hypnosis itself does not heal anything, but what it is, it's a powerful assistant in managing things.
SPEAKER_00:And so you found hypnosis and gave it a try.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And did you notice, can you explain sort of uh i don't want to say yeah explain or like what was that first experience like going into i've had it i want to say i think i was i did a past life regression and she used him um and i know for me that first experience really is my only experience i almost thought like am i thinking that like is this in my am i creating this
SPEAKER_03:Here's the thing. I'm glad you asked that question in that manner. Hypnosis is around us every day and we don't even realize it. You know, you're affected by some type of trance state on a regular basis. Have you ever read a book and you could see the scene in your head?
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:Then you were hypnotized by the words of the author. Have you ever smelled something cooking and you instantly became hungry?
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. And here's the kicker that really gets most people. Have you ever watched a tearjerker of a movie or something that's very funny and you began to cry? Oh,
SPEAKER_00:yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Okay. Well, here's the thing. We all know logically that those are paid actors and actresses, but their portrayal or the screenwriter's words were so effective and so powerful in that portrayal. It evoked emotions. You know, anything that can be experienced through the five senses can be enhanced or dealt with in a hypnotic state. Because basically what we're doing is, you know, the human brain thought process, it's made up of two levels, the conscious and the subconscious. Now, your conscious thought, that's where you have your moral code, you know, that makes up about 10% of your thought process. The other part of that is your subconscious thought. That's about 90%. And the thing that's awesome is your conscious thought will always protect your subconscious. So I can't say to you, you know, go kill someone because that's against your moral code. So two things would happen. If I had you in a hypnotic or trance-like state, your body would either ignore the suggestion or it would, or you would come out of that hypnotic state.
SPEAKER_00:Right away because the conscious
SPEAKER_03:is
SPEAKER_00:protecting you.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes. So let's get rid of that misconception, number one. It's not mind control. When you go into hypnosis with a hypnotist or a hypotherapist, it's a collaboration because you're giving them permission. And that's why it's important for the hypnotist or the hypotherapist to always conduct business or conduct themselves in a way that is ethical and in the best interest of the person. of the client because you're in their subconscious. You don't wanna implant negative thoughts or negative images into their subconscious.
SPEAKER_00:So when one sees you for this type of experience, well, I guess, what was your initial experience?
SPEAKER_03:Well, my initial experience was self-hypnosis.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, self-hypnosis, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. So I tried it and I found a father working in the self-hypnosis and because I've been so blessed and I've been so fortunate after a while, I said, you know what? I have to learn new science and share it with others because when you've been so blessed, you have to share that gift with others.
SPEAKER_00:So now were you reading something for that self-hypnosis or did you record your own voice? Did you?
SPEAKER_03:I was listening to an audio file.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Okay. And that was an audio file that you recorded of your own voice or was it something else? I
SPEAKER_03:found on YouTube. I found on YouTube.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. Okay. And then you needed to learn the science. You felt really compelled because you had such great results.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly.
SPEAKER_00:So now do you work one-on-one with clients?
SPEAKER_03:I sure do. I work one-on-one with clients. And, you know, you got to remember, I learned during the pandemic. So, and I do it virtually. Zoom is my best friend.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, Zoom is my best friend with my podcast and being able to share conversations like ours.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:And so you see them virtually. So do you, I guess, a client comes to you, this is what he or she wants to work on. And from there, you curate, right?
SPEAKER_03:Yes. What happens is I'll give a personal contact me. I'll give a pre-talk. And in that pre-talk, you know, I will talk about what your goals and aspirations are. And we'll talk about the issue. And of course, you know, the issue is never the issue when it comes to something like that. We'll see what the underlying problem is. And then from there, if it's something that I can assist you with. I will certainly do so. And then I'll also give you what's called a suggestibility test to see how well you take to suggestions. Now, I will say this. Not everyone is a good candidate for hypnosis. If you are in a drug or alcohol-induced psychosis, you should not be hypnotized. If you're bipolar, you kind of don't want to do that. And You know, if you suffer from schizophrenia or epilepsy, we don't want to hypnotize you. Now, I'm not saying it can't be done, but we have to be very, very cautious.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So, and when you take someone into a hypnotic state or the trance-like state, is it a certain brain wave you're working with?
SPEAKER_03:No, no. What we're doing, actually, when you are in a hypnotic state, you are hyper-focused. You're really hyper-focused. One of the myths is that you have to be in a relaxed state, and you really don't. I've seen people get hypnotized right on the street, and that's definitely not a relaxing environment. For the sake of hypnotherapy, you want it to be a relaxed state, but you don't necessarily have to be in a relaxed state. to go into a hypnotic trance. You know, as a matter of fact, people don't understand, you know, hypnosis or some form of subconscious, you know, maneuvering. I don't want to use the word manipulation, but maneuvering takes place every day. Why do you think when you go to the movie theater, one of the last things that you hear before the movie starts is the sound of popcorn popping or soda pop opening? Because subconsciously they're telling you go by. You know, go buy this from the concession stand. Even when you walk the grocery store, you'll see things that, you know, we favor kids to buy. They'll be on bright, bright, bright wrappers. And they'll also be right at a child's eye level. So that catches their attention. And they're hoping that the kid is just going to go bonkers. Mommy, mommy, or daddy, daddy, I want this. I want this. I want this.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. I've been there.
SPEAKER_03:So subliminal messaging is used all the time.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. And they, they, they become hyper-focused on, on the item and the characters are like all specifically designed to, you know, pull one or, you know, pull, yeah, pull a buyer in off time. So now would you say this, it takes about 10, 15 minutes? Is there an amount of time before one gets into that state?
SPEAKER_03:No. It depends on that person's level. And in my case with hypnotherapy, their ability to relax. You know, I've had some people where, you know, I can drop them within a minute. Just drop them just like that. Then I've had other people where I've had to work and use a different technique to get them under, you know, to get them in a trance next day.
SPEAKER_00:And then once... Once they've dropped down into that state, what is happening during the session?
SPEAKER_03:During that session, what I typically do is I can use several things. I can use a regression to go to root cause to figure out what the issue is. Or if it's a situation where it stops smoking, I will figure out what your trigger is. We'll work on that trigger. And then I'll also do something to make that habit less appealing. So like for a smoker, what I would typically do probably is once we figure out what that root cause is, we work on the root cause. And then I'd say something like, well, every time you attempt to pick up a cigarette, I want you to think of the foulest smell that you could smell or the foulest thing that you could taste. And every time, You have that urge to pick up a cigarette. You're going to taste that in your mouth or you're going to feel that. That is the deterrent at that point. But before we get to that deterrent, two things have to happen. Number one, you have to really, really want to stop. We call it threshold in the business. You have to really be at threshold. Because if you're not at threshold, then your chances are over time, you're going to... Trigger's going to activate again, and then you're going to go right back to it. So, you know, before I take on a non-smoking client, I would typically say to them, are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? And I would attempt to find out their motivation for wanting to stop beyond the obvious health risks.
SPEAKER_00:And so the desire to want to quit, which is similar, right, with... It's got to be them. It can't be the people around them that want them to quit. It really has to be the individual is really ready. And as you said, I think threshold's a great word to make changes.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:Like the breaking point in a way.
SPEAKER_03:Exactly, exactly.
SPEAKER_00:Right, the straw that breaks the camel's back. That's when... Maybe one is eventually ready to.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. And, you know, and again, you know, first of all, let me say I am a proponent of all therapies, of all therapies. My thought process is if it's something that brings you comfort and it takes you away from that issue, whatever is bothering you, then it's therapy. Do it. You know, as long as you're not harming yourself or anyone else do it. I have a friend that has very bad PTSD and what he actually does is he flies model airplanes and that, and that relaxes him.
SPEAKER_00:That's great. Yeah. And oftentimes therapy does, doesn't look traditional in a sense. It's not always, uh, sometimes, you know, talk therapy can, and, and talk therapy oftentimes, um, is great and effective.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:But many, I think, might say, and, you know, I've looked to alternative modalities when I felt like talk therapy was not really propelling me forward. And then I might go revisit it again. You know, integrating things like hypnotherapy or some movement-based therapies or some breath work. You know, there's so many different ways to try to skin that cat and peel back layers of that onion. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And one thing that we have to always remember, you know, healing is a lifelong process. There's no way an individual can live on this and not experience some type of trauma. And the thing that we have to be cognizant of is the fact that once you hear one issue, there's always another one right there. And just because this modality worked for issue A, that doesn't necessarily mean that it will work for issue B.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, absolutely. So then... Aside from, I know you mentioned smoking, which definitely I think people think of trying. I know I have had friends who've tried hypnosis to quit smoking. And then you mentioned it helped you with chronic pain. What other things might you recommend hypnosis for? Okay.
SPEAKER_03:Well, I myself, you know, I help individuals with pain management issues. stop smoking or vaping, mental and emotional detox, anger management, insomnia, and things of that nature. Almost anything that can be dealt with or thought with the mind can be, again, can be worked with hypnosis. It's a matter of if hypnosis will be effective for the individual.
SPEAKER_00:And when you're in session, is the client communicating with you? Yes.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. What I'm doing at that point, like with an emotional or mental detox, what I will do, I will have that individual, I will put them in a trance-like state. And then from there, I will take them through a series of steps that will help them revisit you know, that issue. And what we're doing is we're actually reframing what that issue looks like. The example that I like to give is the example of a child and a spider. Now, you know, a child, a newborn child does not know fear. So you could theoretically take a spider and let it run across a newborn child's belly and it would have no reaction. But if you do the same thing with an individual that has been traumatized by a spider or who has been taught to believe that a spider is something that you can fear. When you put that spider on them, they're going to react that way. So what we do with hypnosis is we're reframing how things are perceived by the mind.
SPEAKER_00:And some of that is through suggestions that you
SPEAKER_03:make. Yes. And also, you know, suggestions during session and then often post-hypnotic suggestions.
SPEAKER_00:It brings me back to, I have this fear of mice. Okay. And I know exactly where it comes from. My mom was deathly afraid and would find them in our washing machine, some strange places, right? Because I think she was afraid. I guess when you say hypnotism is happening every day, just like her repeated reactions around mice... Yes. Has shaped the way I've moved, you know, into my adulthood, being afraid of my, like, you know, like just so squeamish about them.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. No fear is learned.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. Because when you mentioned the spider crawling across a baby's tummy, I can see exactly, like I can visualize that and see that. Yes, absolutely. That baby is, probably would not even flinch at that, but over time and experiences with that spider would potentially shift that for that individual.
SPEAKER_04:Correct.
SPEAKER_00:Because if I feel anything itchy, that's, you know, I'm like freaking.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:And that might not even be from a parent, right? You might've just seen your friend freak out.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:Like I'm afraid of dogs. Yes. I'm not that fearful of dogs. I have dogs. But when we were walking home from the bus stop one day, and my little friend came home with me that day, we were kind of cut through this backyard. It was like a shortcut.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And the dog bit the back of her leg.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_00:And so from that point forward, you know, this just little bit of fear was instilled in me. I didn't want to... You know, that dogs can bite.
SPEAKER_04:Yes,
SPEAKER_00:yes, yes. And we knew that dog, you know, but we were running and we spooked the dog that particular day and the dog bit my friend in the back of the leg. So I could see, you know, any sort of, I guess, maybe even, I don't know if more severe traumas like car accidents. I don't know if that comes up as... being a positive, if hypnotherapy would be a positive modality for something more traumatic?
SPEAKER_03:Well, the human mind is absolutely amazing. There have been times that, you've got to remember, the brain will do things to protect itself. Hypnosis has also been used in helping people sometimes remember crime details. When they witnessed something so heinous that it's tucked away to protect you. We would use hypnosis sometimes to help to bring that up.
SPEAKER_00:Like PTSD?
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Do you find that clients come for regular sessions? Is there a A protocol?
SPEAKER_03:Yes. What will happen is, again, I would meet you for a pre-talk. Then we'd go over goals and what you seek to accomplish. And then from that point, we'd go ahead and we'd schedule a session. Now, the way that I handle my practice is I will go ahead and I'll have the first paid session. And then the second session, if it's needed, there'll be a follow-up that's free of charge. And then if there is a need for a third session, then I would drop the price a little bit because I'm not in it to obviously get rich. What's more important to me is the healing. And then after you have the second session, if there's a need for a third session, or after you have the third session, if there's a need for a fourth session, that fourth session would be free because it's a follow-up to the to the second paid session.
SPEAKER_00:And so do you spread those out over a certain amount of time? I
SPEAKER_03:usually go a week at a time. So we'll have the first paid session. And then I'll give you some things to work on. And I'll ask you to journal and write When you thought of that issue that we were working on, if you didn't experience anything. And I typically can wrap things up within one to three sessions.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I was going to ask you if there was homework, if there's something that individuals are doing in between sessions or even after you wrap up.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah. I check in with my clients from time to time just to see how they're doing. And it's rewarding when you can work with someone who's had trauma for so many years and it's alleviating. It's so liberating. And that's what fuels me to keep going.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. It allows an individual to maybe have a whole new... You use the word reframe, but have an entirely new experience of life. If you can reframe
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:I know, you know, sometimes we can get so stuck in that one thing, right? That traumatic experience or
SPEAKER_01:it's
SPEAKER_00:hard to shift or even like see that. Sometimes those events, although tragic maybe, or, you know, devastating and uncomfortable are oftentimes that catalyst for, and they make us who we are.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes. We can
SPEAKER_00:reframe them as a gift or like an opportunity for growth for our soul.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. I view my physical challenge as a blessing because it taught me that I have to use this. It allowed me to see a world that was different than often was in my actual environment.
SPEAKER_00:Now, do you think... if you reflect back on your life, I don't know how old you are or your age, that there was a time that you embodied more of a victim role, like, oh, woe is me, I have this. No.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely. You know, as an individual that's physically challenged, you know, the... my younger years and my teenage years were tough. Going through the normal things that every child going through puberty does, kids are so judgmental. They're so judgmental. I couldn't run and jump and do the things that other kids did. I was lucky enough to find sports for the disabled. I'm a former Paralympian.
SPEAKER_00:Okay, that's cool. So you found that. And how old were you when you found that? I
SPEAKER_03:actually competed. First of all, because of my cerebral palsy, I started swimming at six.
SPEAKER_00:Now, were you wheelchair bound?
SPEAKER_03:No. No, I walked with a walker. And my mom actually carried me around the house until I was 12. I did not ambulate on my own until I was like, you know, 11 or 12 years old.
SPEAKER_00:Okay.
UNKNOWN:Okay.
SPEAKER_00:I, I, that reminds me, I babysat two little boys. They both had cerebral palsy and were on the autism spectrum. And they, one was wheelchair bound and the other little boy, he was able to use a walker. One was not. Okay. And so, yeah, I'm sure it was a big endeavor for your mother. I mean, what an amazing thing.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes. And people ask me where I get my strength from. It's absolutely from my mom. My mom had a sixth grade education, and she raised three children, me being a middle child with a disability. She got her GEB at 67 and had Alzheimer's at 71. Oh, wow. Yeah, so that's the last thing that God wanted her to do with her mind. But it is directly her strength that, you know, calls me to be the person who I am. And I will say this, for any parents, if you have a child with special needs, do not coddle them. Understand what their limitations are, but do not coddle them. I cannot tell you the number of I have a very dear friend, actually. You know, we had the same intellectual ability growing up, but the difference was his mom cobbled him. And, you know, my mom obviously didn't. And he, unfortunately, has never worked a day in his life. And, you know, when his mom passed away a few years ago, he had to go into a nursing home. And it's so tragic, you know. And... So I would say to any parents that have children with special needs, understand what their limitations are, but also celebrate the things that they can do and allow them to live their best life in the way that they know how. Normalize their life as much as possible.
SPEAKER_00:Have you, by chance, read Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill?
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And I mean, when, when you, I mean, they really, I just remember that story, right? His son is born without ears and they were determined to, to normalize his life. And eventually they found out, right. This temporal bone, I think it was can, can I guess, decipher, discern sound. And they eventually, you know, had him hearing. Like they were determined. And it just makes me think about, you know, as you mentioned, not coddling, really giving them an opportunity to grow and flourish and figure out who they are. As
SPEAKER_03:best they
SPEAKER_00:can. As best they can. Yeah. And it, you know, makes me think about that story. So, Do you feel, I know you were an optician, right? I am. You still are. Do you feel like that was your life calling?
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. You know, my life calling is actually to help individuals in whatever way I can. I've been fortunate enough, I've been blessed enough to have two careers where it actually does not feel like work. When I'm sitting in front of someone and I'm helping them pick out a pair of glasses or I'm helping them to see, that's not work to me. And when I'm helping someone via hypnosis and hypnotherapy, I'm changing their world for them. I mean, they are doing it, but I'm assisting in that process. That's very fulfilling for me. And for me, I live my life, or I attempt to live my life with this mantra. Because I've been so blessed, I have to be a blessing to others. And the moment that I stop being that blessing to others, then my blessings will stop.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_03:Do I make mistakes? Yes, I am human. I am totally made of flesh. But I start every day of my life with the attention of, let me make someone happy today. Let me enhance the world around me. Even if it's just by the most incremental amount, then it's a good day.
SPEAKER_00:So is faith a part of your life?
SPEAKER_03:It is. I am a very spiritual person. I'm a very spiritual person. My grandmother used to say, man, you're going to be my little preacher. You're going to be my little preacher. So I find that as you learn more about yourself, your spirituality increases. Not necessarily your religion, and I'm not anti-religion, you know, I come from a deep Christian background, but my spirituality, and the reason why I choose the word spirituality is because, again, because during COVID we were not congregating. So that really, really forced people to work on their individual relationship with their creator, whomever that may be.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I hear you. I agree. You know, for me, it's that, yeah, whoever that is, a God of one's understanding, good orderly direction. I think they said, because I've gone to some Al-Anon meetings before and they use the word God, but, you know, a God of your understanding. But when they, with the acronym, good orderly direction, I was like, oh, that's right. Yeah. And then I also, there was another one they mentioned, you know, when the ego gets in the way, You're edging God out.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And, you know, the ego does keep us alive. But, you know, when we're getting too hyper-focused with our ego and we're not necessarily connecting with our own inner divine.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:And we all have access to that. If we can, like, slow down and relax and become more aware with the present moment.
SPEAKER_03:You know, I do believe in God and he has a special calling on my life. You know, I'll never, and this is, you know, he's shown me over and over in my life. And during, I remember with the passing of my mom, you know, I had walked into, you know, Waffle House with someone. And, you know, Silent Night by The Temptations was playing, one of my mom's favorite songs. And I sat down and I just started to cry. I just started to cry. I just started to boohoo almost uncontrollably. So the person I was with, they were like, look, do we need to leave? And I'm like, yes. I looked down at my phone and there were five missed calls from my brother. And I said, what's wrong? He says, you need to come home. Mom passed. Wow. Now, my mom passed away on December The 22nd, oh, it's a little fuzzy and I'm God ashamed to say that. The 22nd of December, okay? No, it was the 23rd, excuse me. It was the 23rd of December, right? Her mother's birthday was the 22nd. So in my mind, it was my grandmother saying, come be with me.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that gave me chills, those little goosebumps. You know, that's like spirit. When I know the goosebumps are there, I'm like, whoa, that's...
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So whenever I'm having my moments of trepidation, because we all have them, whenever things are just going astray and I've done my hypnosis for the day and things of that nature, I just take a moment and I'm like, okay, you take the wheel. I can't deal.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:You take the wheel. I can't deal. I like it. I've heard others, but I haven't heard that one. So you do your own practice of daily self-hypnosis?
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, yes, yes. You know, I work retail. So sometimes people come in with a very bad image.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I have to keep that at bay.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:I have many empathetic. you know, traits about me. So I have to, you know, keep my closet nice and empty and room to help others.
SPEAKER_00:Right. And then, and then in a way to, it sounds like sort of protect, right. Your own energy field so that you're, cause yes, right. Take it on and we can come home and things can feel heavy when you've been with people who.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. Yeah.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, when I managed, I'm no longer in management, you know, in the optical world, but when I managed, I used to always tell my staff, when people come in, you know, you should treat them like they're your mother or your father. And if you go treat your mother or father bad, you don't need to be working customer service. But at the same time, don't allow your energy to upset someone's day. You know, you don't know what's going on in that person's mind or in their life before they, you know, when they walk through that door. Let's have them leave making their day a little bit better.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, because our energy does influence others.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, it does. It does. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:I mean, you know, as the receiver of one's energy, we can't necessarily let them take us down, right?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, yes, yes, yes. There's so many energy vampires. Oh, that's a whole other podcast.
SPEAKER_00:I know it is. Yeah. So what would be your message to live to others, to the audience, to live an unapologetic life?
SPEAKER_03:Oh, wow. You're going to like this one. When you look in the mirror, you should see greatness. And if for some reason you don't, I want you to close your eyes, take a deep breath, and when you open them, begin to see the greatness in you.
SPEAKER_00:That's powerful.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And I think it's difficult.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, it is. But it begins with just one step.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, one step. Look in the mirror and see greatness.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. And if you don't, close your eyes, take a deep breath. And when you open your eyes, begin to see the goodness in it. It's not going to be easy sometimes. But make the attempt. And make that attempt every day. And when you make that attempt every single day, eventually it's going to happen.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. That reminds me again. I mean, because we've just read Thinking Grow Rich. And it's not a... he's got a saying in there. It's like every day he said, put it on your mirror every day. And every way I am getting better and better. And I, you know, like if, if that's what you have, whatever you need to say, you know, like find that message. But, and I think looking at ourselves in the mirror and like, Versus just being over here and not looking at myself. Really looking at yourself so that you can see it and believe it. Maybe the cells, the mind, the brain, I don't know, the psyche, this message.
SPEAKER_03:One thing that is key with hypnosis, again, we reframe things. It's truly a state of what the mind can perceive, the body can achieve. You know, you hear those stories of those moms, you know, a baby being trapped under the car. A mom, she has such an adrenaline rush. She's able to lift that car off that baby because that's her baby. Right. You know, and that's just will and adrenaline. My baby, my God.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah, the mind is powerful.
UNKNOWN:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Well, where can people connect with you, Mark?
SPEAKER_03:Okay. On Facebook, I am under Mark Kemp. Also, Tranquility Health and Wellness. I can be reached on YouTube under Tranquility Health and Wellness. On Instagram, on Tranquility HW.
SPEAKER_00:Okay. So Tranquility Health and Wellness.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:On YouTube.
SPEAKER_04:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:And Tranquility HW on Instagram.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Mark Kemp on Facebook.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. And also Tranquility Health and Wellness on Facebook also. Okay.
SPEAKER_00:You have a website.
SPEAKER_03:Yes. That's Tranquility Health and Wellness. No, TranquilityHealthWellness.llc.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm going to make sure all those links are in the show notes below. Very clickable.
SPEAKER_03:I'm going to send them to you. I'm going to send my contact information to
SPEAKER_00:you. Okay. Yeah, that'd be great. And people can find out how to book.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, how to book. You know, my consultation sessions are always free. And I also live by this mantra. The only bad question is the one that asked.
SPEAKER_00:The only bad question is the one not
SPEAKER_04:asked.
SPEAKER_00:Love it. I love it. So the only bad question is the one not asked, which falls in line with unapologetic living, right? Because if we're unapologetically, we're going to ask those questions. Yes. And then seeing greatness, looking at yourself in the mirror every day and see greatness.
UNKNOWN:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you so much for joining me today, Mark.
SPEAKER_03:It has indeed been my pleasure.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I've really enjoyed our conversation. I definitely think we need to have a part two on energy vampires.
SPEAKER_03:Definitely, definitely. And, you know, I'm part of it, and I believe you are also. I'm one of those go-to people. You know, whenever someone needs someone to talk to, whenever they need someone to just listen, or when they need something, I'm that go-to person. But the question is, where do we go when our well-worn is dropped?
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:How do we re-energize ourselves? And I say that's a whole podcast by itself.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah, that one, too, because I know, like, you know, I don't know about you, and I'm sure when you went through a certification program, a hypnotherapy program.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yes. I'm
SPEAKER_00:sure they preached that. They sure preached it. When I went through massage school and stretch school, like you need to be doing your own self-care. You're giving, giving, giving. Make sure you are also filling your well.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Absolutely. Because if not, you know... And that's part of the problem. And that's what leads to a lot of health practitioners, both conventional and non-conventional. That's part of what leads to burnout. We spend so much time helping others. We do very little to help ourselves. That's why doctors and healthcare practitioners, we make some of the worst patients because we... We know what it takes to take care of ourselves. So we say to ourselves, oh, we'll get to it. We'll get to it. We'll get to it. And we never do.
SPEAKER_00:I know. They must know that about us when we go into these, you know, when we learn new modalities to help others. Because I know they reiterated it to me. And I am definitely guilty of not always... I don't know the last time I had any body work done. And I'm a stretch and massage therapist. And I'd have to, like... go back maybe a couple of calendar years ago, a couple of years ago and find out an old calendar when that was.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, yeah, yeah. And honestly, if I didn't have such a need for hypnosis at times, you know, or if I didn't wear glasses myself, you know, who knows when I'd get an eye exam? Who knows? You know, who knows, you know, when, when, when I do that, that self healing or that mindfulness or that shadow work that needs to be done.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it's important to just carve out that time and to know that, that you, you know, we are all worthy of that, of that time for ourselves to do what needs to take place. Right. Because when we're doing that, we can show up better for all the other people in our lives.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely, absolutely. And you know, being that go-to person sometimes, it's often exhausting, you know? And then we run into, and then, you know, first of all, let me tell you, I have the gift of gab. You know, I think one of the biggest fallacies in life is midlife crisis. And here's how I view midlife crisis now, having gone through it, you know? For the first time in your life, when you go through your quote-unquote midlife crisis, you're no longer the custodian. If you have children, you've gone from being a custodian to consultant. Okay? You've reached that point where you've raised the kids. You're now an empty nester. But it's not a crisis for you. It's a crisis for someone else. And the reason why it's a crisis for someone else, because for the first time in a long time, you're saying, no, I don't want to do that. You're saying, no, I'm going to do this to spend my time. And that's usually contrary to what you've done the last 15, 20 years. And that's what shocks people. So I believe that it's actually them going through the crisis. They're going through the crisis of hearing no or hearing yes, I'm going to do what I want to do for the first time in a very long time. And it's something that they have to do.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:We may have that doubt, okay, what am I going to do now? Because I've always done X, Y, Z. So what am I going to do now? That part of it. It causes questions. But I think the bigger crisis is for the people around you. So they're the ones that actually label you as having the midlife crisis. You don't call it. You don't say that about yourself until you acknowledge it and that someone else is noticed it.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I agree. I was listening. You're a man and I'm a woman, but I was listening to a book on menopause.
UNKNOWN:Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00:because I'm in the throes of perimenopause, like heading in that direction. And it talks a lot about that. You're reaching the stage where, and you use the word custodian, but like, you know, us as women, right? You are doing all this caregiving. A lot of men are providing, right? And then, yeah, we get to the stage where we don't have to do that anymore. It almost like turns off and all that work that's been going outwards now gets to come within.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_00:That's self-care. Whoa. Maybe I'm not, no, I'm not doing that. You know? And so we, and, and we finally, I don't know. I think you, it's almost as though we finally given ourself permission to, you know, come back home to ourselves instead of all this outpouring and out, you know, giving, giving, giving, we get to come home. And that means, yeah, like you said, saying no. Yeah. and setting boundaries and doing more, you know, what seems like, as you, yeah, like what seems like a midlife crisis. You're right. According, it's like the other perception. I can see that. Oh, that person's going through. Well, no, actually, no, she's actually just coming back home.
SPEAKER_03:And,
SPEAKER_00:you know, can focus, you know, more on what's going to, and I think it's also a time. And I don't know if you agree that, You're shifting focuses, maybe. I think you might see career changes or additions. Like you said, you brought in hypnotherapy in the last, since COVID. So that's like the last five or six years, right?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. I will be 59 years old in a few weeks. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm starting a business. I started a business at this advanced age. I hate to use the word advanced age, but at this stage of my life, most people, they wouldn't think of doing that. They're just going to ride out their career with what they've had. And my career has certainly been good to me. But, you know, what's that saying? The, what is it? 45 is the new 30 now?
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:You know, well, my energy is, for certain things, it's even stronger than it ever has been in my life. Now, there are some things where I'm slowing down a little bit. Now, a good example is I'm never gonna retire from optician. Everyone that I know of that have called themselves retired, their health went downhill. There's a history of Alzheimer's in my family, so I do things to keep my mind active. And the day that I can't turn a screw in a pair of glasses, The day that I can't use my mind, I'm not living. So let me go.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Have you heard of the Blue Zones? No. There's five-ish Blue Zones around the world. And the Blue Zones have the most centurions. And... To live past 100, we just don't see that very often.
SPEAKER_02:But
SPEAKER_00:then they all typically have some elements in common, faith or spirituality, whole foods, eating whole foods, fresh foods, community. And I'm trying to think what else, but they don't retire completely.
SPEAKER_02:Not
SPEAKER_00:necessarily doing some of the work that so many Americans are doing, you know, this like go, go, go. They're doing things they love. They feel purposeful. And so, you know, I'm not sure that we are designed to retire. I don't think we are meant to work and work and work in a, you know, passionless career.
SPEAKER_04:Yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:All the way, you know, and so I agree with you. I mean, there was a gentleman. He was our neighbor. He was like 54. He retired. He was a part of the. Oh, he had a Ford Mustang and he was very active in the Ford Mustang Club here, and he ended up going back to to work. But he passed away within 18 months of retiring. And I don't think that's uncommon.
SPEAKER_02:People
SPEAKER_00:lose their, they don't know what to do after that if they haven't kind of done some of that work to find out like, what, how do I show up next?
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, exactly. You know, I always think of those couples that they've been together 50, 60 years and one passes on before the other one and the other one passes away shortly because they've lost their companion. They've lost that will.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah, and it's definitely that you hear that all the time. And I think sometimes that's just like our deep heartbreak.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, yes, yes.
SPEAKER_00:Well, Marv, thank you so much for joining me today. It's been a pleasure.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. It's been outstanding. Yes, yes. Anytime you want me to come back, you know how to reach me. I will. You know, I am a trivia buff. I have a plethora of knowledge about so many things that so many people don't. may say is inconsequential. And one thing I've learned about sales is you make quick five or 10 minute connections. And I used to tell my staff, when you're working with someone, establish a rapport. If you see that person is a fisherman, okay, you may know one fact about fishing, but bring that fact out because that's gonna make them comfortable. Yeah. And it's going to cause that connection.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, it could be one little thing.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, yes, yes. But again, I want to thank you for this enriching experience for me. I thank you.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, I thank you. I love meeting new people and learning new things. I think that's one of the most favorite aspects of having this podcast is that I get to meet so many people Interesting individuals and everyone has such, you know, their own life experience to share, which I think is so important.
SPEAKER_03:Absolutely. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_03:Yes, you're more than welcome. And I look forward to our next
SPEAKER_00:encounter. Absolutely.
