Pain to Purpose: The Power of Healing Trauma featuring Barrett Freibert

In this episode, I sit down with Barrett Freibert, an emodiment and trauma-informed coach, writer and yoga instructor who helps clients transform challenges into breakthroughs.  Together, we explore how trauma shapes our patterns and how healing through the Enneagram, somatic techniques, brain spotting and other powerful modalities can unlock freedom, self-trust, and vitality. 

Barrett shares her personal journey of moving through burnout, illness and unresolved trauma, and how this led her to discover her true purpose:  guiding others to release what no longer serves them and step fully into a vibrant, unapologetic life. 

Barrett helps clients release trauma, self-sabotage, limiting beliefs, and unwanted patterns that block them from fulfillment in work, love, and life. Using tools like the Enneagram, NLP, somatic therapy, Brainspotting, the Emotion Code, reiki, yoga, and meditation, Barrett empowers people to regulate their nervous systems and rewire their mindset for lasting change.

Her path began in her twenties, when unprocessed childhood trauma, the loss of her father, and years of overworking led to burnout, chronic illness, and insomnia. Facing this turning point, Barrett discovered that healing her traumas also unlocked her true purpose. Today, she draws not only on her extensive training but also on her lived experience of overcoming Lyme disease

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:21

Hi, welcome back to today's episode of Unapologetic Living. I'm excited because I have an older, well, you're not old, you're just a beautiful young thing, but you know, I've been connected to you for a minute, like so long, actually. I remember just thinking about, we went to the same church years ago, and I was like, oh, that family's just so cute. They're so cute. Anyway, your mom's so beautiful. But anyway, today I have Barrett Freiberg with me. Barrett is a certified Enneagram teacher. She's a trauma-informed coach. She has over 500 hours of yoga teacher training, and she is a writer. She's a Louisville native like myself, but resides in Santa Fe, New Mexico. And I'm just glad to have you with me. I'm honored to be here. Thank you, Elizabeth. Yeah, I know we're on different, you know, in different time zones. Sometimes it can be challenging to match up. So I really am appreciative of you taking this time today to, to talk and share your journey with healing. I know that many of us come to the line of work we're in for a multitude of reasons. When you're in this field, there's, there tends to be a story. And ultimately, that story can help others, you know, heal knowing that, you know, we can overcome. So what brought you to where you are now?

SPEAKER_00: 3:00

I love that question. What brought me to where I am now is when I was 26, I had just left a marketing research job. I was a project manager, was really good at what I did, made great money for a young person, and I was absolutely miserable doing it. And so I finally got the courage to leave my cushy paycheck and take some time to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. And I promised myself when I left this job that I was going to slow down and start healing. I left this job in April of 2015. And the universe, God saw that I had no intention of slowing down. And I was a The only way that God could get my attention was to stop me, stop me, have me literally fall on my face. So three months later in August of 2015, just literally overnight, I could not sleep. And a couple months later, I realized I had Lyme disease, which I actually healed holistically. There's a woman, I give her a shout out, Wendy Schoepner of SoulWorks. She's actually in Louisville and she specializes in healing chronic illness. So I was in remission from the Lyme by 2018. I worked with tons of different people. The Lyme was not as challenging as what I now referred to as the capital I word. I don't like to bring sleeplessness into fruition, but it was the I word that was my greatest teacher and and biggest blessing in disguise. And when I was so unwell with Lyme and literally could not sleep, this lasted on and off for 10 years, really chronically in 2015, 2016, 17 and 18 were pretty bad too. 2019 was, I thought it was over and then 2020 happened and it really came back badly then. And. What the blessing was, was that I was so desperate to get well and to sleep again and to be my vivacious, vital self that I was finally willing to look at all of the repressed trauma that I had never dealt with. So some of those things were my parents getting divorced, my father dying when 10 days after my 14th birthday, and a host of other issues And so I found the, I'd already known about the Enneagram. And during this time when I was unwell, I stopped working for a while and I had a lot of time on my hands. And so I dove really deep into the Enneagram. And in that moment, once I knew my type, I saw how my unique self-sabotage patterns had co-created my illness. which is to, I'm a very strong person, but my greatest strength is my strength. And it's also my greatest weakness because I can drive myself into the ground. And so when I was reading about my type, I had this epiphany. And in the same moment, I realized this excruciating realization that I had co-created my illness because I had never slowed down. I stayed constantly busy. I overworked. I was over-exercising. You know, when I was in the corporate world, I was partying on the weekends to blow off steam. I was over cleaning. And so finally, I was forced to see how I was really playing a part in that. And I realized, wow, if I co-created this, then I can co-create my healing. And it was in that moment that my healing truly began. So

SPEAKER_01: 7:29

I know it's so interesting. I know that if we don't... I've thought this for a very long time. If we don't take heed... in the messages, then absolutely we will experience, God will deliver something in our life, whatever that is, to help us reevaluate and self-reflect or, I mean, almost just be forced to slow down. And I don't know if it's really preventable. I do believe sometimes these experiences on our journey are ultimately for the growth of our soul. And we

SPEAKER_00: 8:18

have to. I so resonate with that. I believe that our burdens lead us to our blessings. And the people that I'm most inspired by in my life have been through incredible, unimaginable, horrific hardship. And it's also what they've done with it. It's not what happened to them. They somehow realized it happened for them. And I've had a lot of certifications and coaching and the trauma release modalities that I do. And I truly attribute my success not to my trainings, but to my direct life experience and like how unwell and mentally unwell I was and like literally on the verge of losing my mind that that was such a blessing in disguise because it just like my heart was cracked open with compassion. And I can look back and feel what it was like to be in my body 10, 12 years ago, which was a very uncomfortable experience. And so I also have a lot of compassion for people that have not yet faced their traumas because it's all held inside us. Yet you know, I don't know who said this, but the cure to the pain is in the pain. And so sometimes the only way God can get our attention is to literally face plant us on the cement. And I am so grateful. You know, I feel like I'm still healing. I'll be healing for the rest of my life. I still have hiccups with my sleep. I'm in a place where I can function and live my life and, you know, have community and my business is successful And yet it keeps me humble and it keeps me grounded, this continuous process. And I think a lot of people out there think, oh, just one day I'm going to wake up and all of my problems are going to be gone. But that is so... then our experience would be moot. We wouldn't have anything to, to overcome and grow from. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 12:28

And I know too, that lesson, you know, it's that spiral, right? It becomes easier. You, you are revisited with similar pains. They just look different. They show up in a different package, a

SPEAKER_02: 12:42

different

SPEAKER_01: 12:42

individual. But with the journey and the wisdom that we gain along the way, it's easier for us if we're, I don't want to say actively working, but if that's our intention, if the intention that we have set for our path is to continue to transmute and transform, then it becomes easier, right? Yeah. Okay, so I know just enough about the Enneagram to not know anything. I've taken the quiz a couple of different times. I cannot remember when the first time I took it, and I don't even recall who led me to the Enneagram. How did you stumble upon it?

SPEAKER_00: 13:42

Just... So I've, I am so, uh, another person I'm so grateful for in my life, my coach and teacher of 11 or 12 years, Tawny Yvonne. And, uh, she introduced me to the Enneagram and I believe I started working with her when I was 24. And so I knew I was a type eight then. Um, it wasn't really until I got unwell that I started reading up more about it. And then I did her wisdom school in 2018. And I kind of felt like I was the Matrix is my favorite movie, I felt like I was in the Matrix and being like plugged and like, oh, like all of the information was downloaded was like I knew this before. And then I did get academically trained and certified in 2021. So I've had both this academic training, and more of this intuitive training. And I'm glad you brought up the quiz because I say, fuck the test. And so then people are like, well, then how do I know my type? And here's one of my favorite things about the Enneagram. And let me say, I have so much reverence and honor for astrology and human design and all of the things. One thing I really appreciate about the Enneagram is you can't just plug in your birthday to know your type. You have to work for the sacred knowledge And the origins of the Enneagram is highly contested. What we do know is the symbol of sacred geometry has been around 2500 BC. So it is the oldest, and I don't even like calling it a personality assessment. It's less a personality assessment and more a path back to our divine essence. So there are nine types, but then really we with all of the variations, there's really 108 of those types. So back to the test, even though I think the Enneagram Institute has the best test, because there's so many variations, the Enneagram is so dynamic. that it is hard for people to test honestly. And it's hard to be really honest with how we've been all of our lives, right? It's like people think this healing journey is like an angel playing the harp. No, it's like drowning in a sea of snakes when your biggest fear is snakes. And there is an angel playing a harp on the other side, but you got to swim through your deepest, darkest fears first. So the Enneagram is, One thing I love, one other thing I love about the Enneagram is not just that it makes you work for it, but also that it's so applicable. And once you do know your type, whether you sit down and read about all the types or you work with an Enneagram professional like myself, or you take a Enneagram workshop, once you do know your type, then you know, like I why you're here. Like, what is your purpose? What are your God-given strengths? And you also know how you particularly self-sabotage. And so it's not about judging ourselves when we fall off the wagon. It's like laughing at ourselves and actually having a tool that can get us back on track.

SPEAKER_01: 17:35

All right. So now I'm... you know, I know I took a quiz and I love that you said, fuck the test. It's like with a lot of things, like if we really sit with ourselves, we're going to have much better information if we are honest. Yes. And it's like the same with like these telemetry devices. None of them are needed. Maybe you're gaining some information, right? From your Oura Ring or your Garmin watch. But ultimately, if you're really tuning in to yourself you don't need you know if you're sleeping well you know if you're getting enough movement you know if you feel rested and vital or if you feel fatigued and drained if you listen so again I love that you said that and I want to say I revisited I have a client who is a big fan and he so I think like years ago versus like maybe like last year i definitely got different numbers right which is where i can def i can most doubtably agree with you that it's hard to be completely honest on that quiz with Over.

SPEAKER_00: 21:59

And does the quiz, like, can any test take into account like where we are that day, all the variations of the Enneagram? So yes, like for instance, I'm an eight, but then if you look at the Enneagram, which kind of looks like a clock with nine numbers with nine being at the top. So let's just take eight. So if I'm an eight, I either have a seven wing or a nine wing. The wing are the numbers that sit beside the your dominant number, right? Then there's something that this is like really advanced Enneagram called the instinctual variance stack. And there's three components to this, but we each have a different ranking of that. So now you have like, one, two, three components of just one type. So back to like learning it academically and intuitively, my teacher Tawny years ago said, Barrett, you're just going to one day be able to kind of read someone's energy, kind of like a psychic reading. And I thought, what is she talking about? And then years later, as I really started not, so yes, I've read a lot. Like I've read all of the Enneagrams books. I've done a lot of training. What, how I've learned the most about the Enneagram is just observing myself, my friends, my family, my clients, and like that experiential, tactile, intuitive essence. Like for instance, eights. So if I were to guess, I would guess you're also an eight. So eights are called the challenger. I don't like calling it the name because people get attached to the name and like when i found out i was a challenger i'm like oh i'm not a challenger like how that's challenging um so

SPEAKER_01: 23:56

Um, I mean, and I can agree with that. I haven't read any literature about eight.

SPEAKER_00: 24:03

Yeah. And so eights have a very grounded presence. And so like something that everyone can take away, whether you know the Enneagram or not, like something that whether you know your type or not, that is applicable right here right now, is whenever I teach the Enneagram, I teach the intelligence centers first. So the Enneagram is made up of a fractal of triads, meaning a fractal of a grouping of three. And the intelligence center is literally the way we perceive the world. Okay. It's like the glasses that we wear. And so the three intelligence centers, and this is also parallel to science, are the gut brain, the heart brain, and the head brain. So let's start at the top of the Enneagram, like we're going clockwise. So we'll start with the gut group. So in the Enneagram, there's a lot of words that mean the same thing. So some people will say gut, body, it's the same thing. The gut group is eight, nine, and one. And these numbers perceive the world through their clairsentience. They perceive the world through their bodies. They know things without knowing how they know them. They feel it within their, they have very strong intuition. They have very strong intuition. And so eight, nine, and one in the gut group, they are most challenged by anger and rage. And the eight is most in touch with their anger and rage. They'll blow and go. The nine, which is called the peacemaker, tends to repress, depress, suppress their anger, which is why they have some of the least amount of energy of the types because it takes a lot of energy to suppress their anger. to repress. The one that is called the reformer or the perfectionist is like a little volcano that's like erupting, but they feel like, oh, if I really erupt, then I would be bad and I don't want to do that. So what these types want the most is respect, independence, and autonomy. And one embodiment practice that brings these types, a contemplative prayer practice that brings these types back into harmony and balance is practicing stillness. Because they're in the body group, they tend to overuse their bodies. So like one of my favorite way to practice this is in the summer, I put on my bikini, I have a lounge chair in my backyard, I go out there and I just lay in the sun like a lizard. Oh my gosh, I love that.

SPEAKER_01: 26:51

See, I mean, that's something I would pick.

SPEAKER_00: 26:56

Absolutely. And

SPEAKER_01: 26:57

everything you're saying

SPEAKER_00: 27:03

resonates, right? Like even some of the things mentioned. Yeah. I don't need to go to anger management therapy, but I have this anger. It's like this internal anger. So sometimes when people are like, oh, like a six and we'll get to the six, like what anxiety? It's like a fish in water, what water, right? So sometimes we need someone objective who can really see how we are because we're so in it, we can't see it. So back to the intelligence centers, eight, nine in one body, the emotion that they're challenged by is anger, right? What they want the most is autonomy. They don't want to be told what to do. And what brings them into harmony is stillness. Then if we're going clockwise, the next intelligence center grouping is the heart center, which is two, three, and four. So the two, three, and four, they perceive the world through their hearts. And they are very gifted at making other people feel seen and validated through their emotions. But each of them uses their heart or their heart-led aspect differently. So the two, which is called the helper, is like, where can I plug in for some love, right? And they're kind of like, oh, I don't have a problem, but let me help you with your problem. And then three is the achievement. they're actually the most disconnected from their hearts and so they um so let me back up the most the emotion that they are most challenged by is shame so the two covers up their shame by trying to help others the three covers up their shame by achieving and it could be like being the best mom or being the best whatever i do for work it doesn't have to be like you know their tops Like threes come in all different colors. And then the four, which is called the individualist, also like has an artist archetype. They cover up their shame by looking for personal significance. They want to be unique. And what they want the most is attention and validation. So since these types are very interpersonal, and they're always looking to others to say, do you love me? Am I worthy? Their contemplative practice is solitude. So each of these contemplative prayer practices brings us back to this void we're trying to fill. So eight, nine, and one is trying to do, do, do more, more, more. And God's saying, you do enough. Be still and know me, right? For two, three, and four, they are trying to fill this void. of shame by here let me help you what do you think of me and God says hey you're good with if you're good with me like you're good with yourself so spend time alone I know a lot of two three fours who have difficulty being alone especially like twos and threes and a lot of you know eight nights and ones who are very uncomfortable when they don't have something to do so then the last triad is five If we're going clockwise

SPEAKER_02: 30:58

and

SPEAKER_00: 31:00

five, six and seven is in the head. So these people are, have very clever cerebral facilities and we all are in our heads, but they are really in their heads and the emotion that they're most challenged by is fear and anxiety. And what they desire the most is security, stability, support, And so the five, six, and seven is always trying to figure it out. They need more information. I need more. What about this? What about that? And so their contemplative prayer practice is silence.

UNKNOWN: 31:44

Silence.

SPEAKER_00: 31:44

You don't need to listen to another podcast. You don't need to have like three different coaches listen to your own. And once again, each of those numbers does it differently. The five is the investigator. So they're like the researcher, Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin types. Six is the loyalist. So they are, they can sometimes present as twos, whereas the difference is sixes are looking more for the common good, but the sixes uh, really obvious way to tell them. Many of the times they ask a lot of questions, a lot of questions. Sometimes they'll ask you a question before you've even finished answering the question, but they're always trying to suss out, you know, am I safe? Am I secure? And then the seven is the enthusiast. And so the seven, um, avoids their fear and anxiety by always looking for a bright, shiny object. There are types that have like so many coals in the fire. When I coach these types, you know, one of my homeworks is look at your schedule and eliminate 25% of what you have booked. I have a lot of seven clients who like book back to back to back to back, whether they're a doctor or a coach, they have no time in between. So even if you don't know your type and, Like practicing stillness, solitude, and silence for all of us. is going to bring us back into harmony. Yes, there's one that we need the most, yet these are the three sacred S's that remind us when we're good with God and we're good with ourselves, we don't need to do more. We don't need more validation. We don't need more knowledge. We need to get quiet and still and alone to really hear the voice of God.

SPEAKER_01: 33:47

So when I listen to all of that, I hear me here, here, here, here, here, here, here. Right. So like if I am in the car driving a passenger. Right. Because I do a little Lyft and Uber. I am here. It sounds like potentially could be more in my head with the fear and anxiety. And I'm investigating like a five. I want to know if I'm safe and loyal, you know, lots of questions, especially if right. Well, but I think with the eight, a lot of that may come when my body is saying something's weird. I'm serious. I mean, I had a very specific story where I like, my body knew this passenger was weird.

SPEAKER_02: 35:54

And

SPEAKER_01: 35:57

I had already planned my getaway,

SPEAKER_02: 35:59

but

SPEAKER_01: 36:02

I still drove him.

SPEAKER_02: 36:03

And

SPEAKER_01: 36:06

the whole way to his place, I was trying to assess my safety with questions.

UNKNOWN: 36:15

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01: 36:16

And the guy grabbed my thigh. And I was like, slammed my car into park. I wasn't sure what I was going to do next. My phone was on the dash, like on a magnet. It's like, you know, where like if I go for my phone. will he get my arm? And I was, and I opened the door. So like, I didn't do anything with the phone. I opened the door in case he wasn't going to, cause I was like, you need to get the fuck out. Yeah. But when I listened to all this, like ultimately it goes back to me, like just knowing what I knew without knowing what I knew, you know, and already, and I'm like, and in hindsight, right. Just this, like when you get to reflect and review, I'm like, I will never pick up somebody when I've already planned my escape route again. Because I remember having the conversation, Elizabeth, don't be paranoid. You rarely have experiences. You've really had no bad experiences in the car.

SPEAKER_00: 37:17

Yeah. And I think we can all do that is talking ourselves out of what we already know. So there's so many different ways I can go into that with the Enneagram, but like typology aside, you know, I've done this exercise in spiritual groups, like write down every time you followed your intuition, what happened? Write down every time you didn't follow your intuition, what happened? And nine times out of 10, like 10 out of 10, When I follow my intuition, I'm golden. When I don't follow in my intuition, I get myself into trouble. And so that's one of the ways that the Enneagram can teach us how we experience our discernment. Right. And to be able to create a practice around that, whether that be stillness, solitude or silence, and really all three. so that when we go out into the world and like for your example you're driving a passenger to their final destination and you have that like now you've had that experience next time oh this is a weird person no I'm not going to pick them up

SPEAKER_01: 38:34

oh girl now if I get pulled up and I feel it I drive off and cancel the ride and I'm not I mean I am dead serious like I'm not going to mess around and even if me Maybe I'm a little off, but you know, I just want to bring it back to, do we all embody a little bit of all these? We just are more one. Oh,

SPEAKER_00: 38:57

I'm so glad you brought that up. So like you, people have one dominant type, but the goal, like, yes, I'm an eight. The goal for me is not to be an eight. The goal for me is actually to be a balance of all of the types. And so, you know, some people are easier to type than others with like what wing do they have and what's their instinctual variance stack. And depending on that, some of them are more clear than others, but there is benefit when we do know that one dominant type and that pattern that we run because that's what gets us into trouble when we keep running the same pattern and so another thing I love about the Enneagram is if there's someone that you like admire or inspired by in your life first of all you wouldn't be able to recognize that attribute unless it was already within yourself which is called the golden shadow right a lot of people know about the dark shadow Mm-hmm. And that's a part of my brain or a part of my essence that I can strengthen by emulating that. So it's not that we, oh, I got my type. I'm this type. You know, it's more about becoming a balance of all the types.

SPEAKER_01: 40:53

Okay. I got it now. Yeah. Yeah. And that makes sense. yeah that makes sense so really i don't there's a golden shadow with your number and would you call it a like the the other would be the pattern that's repeating

SPEAKER_00: 41:17

Well, this is like, this is applicable to the Enneagram, but like the shadows aside, you know, for instance, the eight's greatest strength is their strength. It's also their greatest weakness because they can drive themselves into the ground. Right. Yeah. I mean, I I've seen it. Yeah. Like the two's greatest strength is their thoughtful, genuine concern for others. But when I've coached twos, like that can also drive them into the ground. They are the number that has the biggest propensity for codependency. So their work is when they wake up every day, like, what am I going to do for me today? How can I fill my cup first? And I've been in and out of Al-Anon for many years. And so just because all types struggle with codependency. But what's cool about the Enneagram is it's like this both- Whatever's your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness. So how can you bring that back into harmony? It's less about gray and white and black and white and finding that gray, finding that middle way.

SPEAKER_02: 42:28

The

SPEAKER_01: 42:29

middle way. Gosh, that word keeps coming up a bunch more recently and recently. It's like finding that middle path, the middle way. So I know we could probably talk about this all. But I do want to talk about the big I word. Yeah. And I know that you, I mean, can I say the I word?

SPEAKER_02: 42:54

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 42:57

I know that for a while there, you said sleeplessness, we're going to say insomnia. Yeah. And, and, you know, I think this is an important one, because just in general, I think people are not getting enough sleep. And this is probably a a bigger issue across the collective than than people realize just absolutely yeah and I mean I've always thought you know like I have not really suffered from that like any sort of severe insomnia occasionally I remember when I was still having a couple of cocktails I would wake up in the middle of the night and I don't know if that would be considered insomnia but you know the two or three hours just ruminating and ruminating which is why I eventually gave it up so it's been almost three years And that has resolved. I mean, but it hasn't totally resolved. I have these moments, right? If something's really weighing on me, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I'll ruminate. But it sounds like maybe your experience was more intense.

SPEAKER_00: 44:11

Oh, it was severe. It was severe.

SPEAKER_01: 44:14

So, I mean, is that like couldn't fall asleep all night? Like I know like two nights ago, my significant other did not sleep all night. He was really having a hard time. It's not always like that, but he's always struggled with falling asleep. And I know that there's a lot of people out there. So what can you share about? I know that you feel like it was a gift from God so that you could continue on this healing journey into even deepening the connection with your life purpose. But what can you share about? And when, I mean, I know you said the Enneagram helped with that or no, did I misunderstand?

SPEAKER_00: 44:58

It did help with that in a way, because I, part of that was I was going, going, going all day, never slowing down. I was constantly doing something. And I think people, whether you've experienced the I word or not, like you can relate to that. I know so many people who just go, go, go, go, go, go, go all day. And they wonder why they're anxious or they wonder why they wake up and they're not rested. So I think anyone can relate to that component, especially in America.

SPEAKER_01: 45:34

Yeah. So how did you ultimately heal that? I know you worked with Wendy, right? And I know you mentioned Lyme. Was there a tick bite that you can recall or no?

SPEAKER_00: 45:49

There was. And you know, there, so there's a, there's a couple of things that I think extremely impact my inability to sleep. And one was unresolved trauma. I had as a child, sexual abuse around nap time and another instance around sleep. So I wasn't willing to look at that until I couldn't sleep and was finally willing to look at that. So that was a huge piece. It was also a huge piece that I had not resolved, had not dealt with my parents' divorce or my father's death. This is kind of just a tidbit, but I was on antidepressants when I was, I think I got on them around like right before my parents divorced and two years later, my dad divorced. died suddenly so i was fucking numbed out you know and i know i had to so a lot of those emotions took me more time when i got off the antidepressant to even get in touch with that grief from both the divorce and the passing of my beloved father so there's that like all of that can be categorized and unprocessed trauma so whether we have repressed it we remember it or are we don't, our bodies remember. And this is why like you're a body worker, right? Body work is another type of trauma release modality. And so that was a huge component. Lime was a huge component as well, like especially in the first two years. So like in the first two years, 2015 and 2016, like there were months where I literally slept not at all for like multiple nights in a row. If I was lucky, if I was lucky, I slept two to four hours a night for months. And then I felt like I had won the energy lottery if I slept five hours a night. And so, um, during this time, this was before I had, I was still working with Tawny and, and thank God for her. You you are going through a dark night of the soul and all wounded healers have to go through something like super severe because this is your training, right? And I think people can become training junkies when really, if you look at your life and you like actually accept and allow what is happening to happen for you, that is the best training in itself. So when she said that, I like that gave me me hope of like, wait, if I can maybe one day help one other person. And Tanya always says, if that one person is you, then you did your job. But really there was like a huge motivation. If I can make a difference in one other person's life, then I can get through this. And then maybe this is worth it. And it eventually was, although it was, it was, it the capital I word was my most challenging trauma of my life. And, and also like, you know, you look normal, right? You know, essentially I love to wear mascara. So put on some mascara. I look like a normal person. No one would ever know. Um, but lime, I know people with lime either. Like I know another woman who she slapped all the time, but lime can like keep you up. And so I found Wendy in 2017 and she made, She cured my Lyme within a year. And, and mind you, I was, I was skeptical before, you know, I had tried like 15 different Western medicine doctors, past life regression, acupuncture. Like I tried everything. And so I'd already tried all these people and my mom found her and she was like, you know, I found this woman, she specializes in Lyme and chronic illness. And I heard she helps people sleep. And I was like, are you fucking serious? energy work for like my sleep and my mom always the voice of reason cool and calm as a cucumber was like Barrett what do you have to lose and I was like you know what you're right so part of the worst thing about Lyme I was bloated you know it constantly felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife in my back like I was in so much pain and the first time I saw her like I loved After our first session, I left her office and that stabbing pain in my back was gone and I slept that night. And so as I still work with her to this day, I am so grateful. I don't know if I'd be here without her. So that was a huge component. And then, so trauma, energy work, and hormones. So in 2020, I had like compacted trauma, one thing happening after the other. And I thought in 2019 that that I word was a closed book. I was so excited. Like that was one of the best years of my sleep. Yes, I had hiccups then, but then June of 2020 came around. I was living in Santa Fe at this time as well. Not only was I isolated, but just kind of overnight, the sleep stuff came back. And so after 10 days of literally not sleeping and being totally isolated, my mom was like, you need to get on a plane to come home. And I did. I came home for like three weeks. But by the end of that year, I moved back to Kentucky because I'd didn't know what was going to happen in the world. I knew that if I was going to heal, I had to have support from, you know, my family, my mom. And, uh, at the end of that year, I was, I remember I was like parked in rainbow blossom and I had a call with my brother. He was working for a functional medicine doctor company at that time. And he was like, Barrett, I think your hormones are like totally out of whack. And I was 31 at the time. And sure enough, I got tested. And as a 31 year old, I had no progesterone. And they're like, this is so abnormal. And the only way this happens is if you are so stressed out, you just burn through all of it. So Of

SPEAKER_01: 53:01

course, it's functional medicine, right? That's what you said. Yeah. Because so many times your traditional allopathic, they will not. It is very difficult to get a full. It's unbelievable to me to get a full panel.

SPEAKER_00: 53:16

I'm so glad you brought that up there because I have friends who go to their conventional doctor and they spend all this money and then they come back. They're like, oh, you're healthy. You're great. It's all in your head. And they're like, it's not in my head. So I'm so grateful for naturopaths out there who really look at the body. They're not just looking at these conventional scales. They're not just looking at your physical component. They're also looking at spiritual, mental, emotional. And so I'm not currently on progesterone, but I was on it for years. And they told me when I got on it at the end of 2020, they said, given it three months and I was like oh my god three more months of this fucking torture but sure enough my birthday is March 6 on March 6 2021 I was celebrating my birthday in Miami with my brother and his now wife and I started sleeping and it was also very ironic that that was three weeks after our beloved cabin we had sold it six months before and then um Six months later, it burnt to the ground. And three weeks after that, you know, I started sleeping like. And even people that didn't know my dad who built the cabin out of salvaged wood and stone and he's buried there were like, we think he, you know, he burned it down. Not that he came down from the sky and like put gasoline on it because that's not what happened. But, you know, it was like the Phoenix rising. Like once again, like you have to move on, move forward, let go. And so if you really think about like, what is the I word? It's the inability to let go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 55:13

To surrender into the, the other, like, I don't, right. Yeah. Another layer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 55:20

Wow. And on the other side of that, I believe I was kept awake.

UNKNOWN: 55:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 55:27

to get my attention to look at what I did not want to look at. So what I found later on is I got certified in my first trauma release modality in 2020 because I started my coaching business in 2017. And I was having really good results with about 50% of my clients. They'd reach a goal. 50% of them would stay there. And then 50% of them a couple of weeks later would just slide right back to the beginning so I saw two things happening some of these people just wanted a magic magic pill and you know we all know there is no such thing and the second was I as the practitioner did not have a modality that was getting to the root cause so for instance like people who are anorexic or overeat they may come to a coach or therapist like this is the problem That's the tip of the iceberg. That's not really the problem. The problem, you know, it's different for different people. Like anorexia could be that person feels out of control and the only way they can control is like what they put into their mouth. So I had anorexia when I was a teen and that was my experience of it. I, I, I felt out of control. My parents divorced, my dad died. Oh, I can control what I put into my body. So this is what I'm going to control. But it was less less about the anorexia and more about like this unresolved trauma underneath. So what I love about trauma release modalities is that it scientifically gets to the root. And so like the first trauma release modality, so to speak, was EMDR. And many people have read The Body Keeps the Score, and he talks a lot about that. So what I do is brain spot which evolved from that. And both modalities are about the eyes. And so like where we look matters. And so when I'm doing, whether I'm receiving brain spotting, or let's say I'm facilitating brain spotting, if a client is talking to me about a trauma or a limiting belief, right, I'm noticing where their eyes look over and over again. And then I will bring awareness to that spot. So during the actual process of the trauma release modality, there's not a ton of talking, but they are holding that spot. So let's say the spot for me is over here. That spot correlates with a spot in my brain where you could think of it like scar tissue. And so by holding that spot, you're you're allowing the body to release that. Wow. I have never heard of this. This is a new for me. So what's so cool about this. And, you know, I was forced into therapy at a young age and, you know, I, I don't think I ever found the right therapist, but I so desperately needed help. I wanted help, but the people I saw did not help me. So for a long time, I wrote off therapy I wrote off coaching. And then I found Tani and she uses her own tools for healing. And I thought, this is what I've been looking for. So I've modeled a lot of what I do off of what she does and also adding in trauma release modalities that help people get to the root cause. Because I know as someone who has a tendency to vent, and I know I need to vent, but it's like, okay, I've told my coach I told my mom I told my best friend I'm done I'm done talking about it because it's just bringing it more into fruition right yeah actually re-traumatize ourselves by constantly going back to the talking about it and I have a lot of people in my practice who have experienced some sort of abuse and they come into my practice and they think oh I've thought about this so I've healed it but when we actually think about it, we're further disassociated from actually the original event. So what a lot of like, especially brain spotting, we don't need to think about it. We hold the intention. Okay. I'm healing from this, whatever the trauma is. We are holding that spot. You're noticing the main thing you're doing is you're noticing what's happening in your body. So there was like one time I did some, I was receiving brain spotting around, you know, the loss of my And I noticed I felt, and this is where I usually always feel grief or sadness, I felt like tennis balls were lodged in my esophagus. So without thinking about my dad, I allowed my body, okay, I'm breathing into this boa constrictor that's wrapped around my throat. I'm not trying to fix, change, judge, escape, minimize, amplify. I'm just being with. And so this is one thing that people could leave with today, like whether they work with EMDR, brain spotting, they could go home and do this right now. And I have clients that this like really helps them regulate their nervous system. Like, let's say you're losing your shit. You're having, you're having anxiety or you feel like you're about to have an anxiety attack. Where are you? You're not in your body. You're in your mind. So the mind is what goes to the past or the future but the body is always present. So there's a process, what I call somatic processing, where if I'm experiencing anxiety, I stopped thinking about what I'm anxious about. And I noticed, oh my gosh, I feel like an elephant is on my chest. My heart is beating through my chest. My breathing is shallow, right? And one of the somatic therapy practices I also teach people is BASE, the acronyms base. So let's say someone is once again, in their anxiety, you're in your mind. When we're losing our mind, what we, what do we do? We come back to our bodies. So base is, is part of somatic processing. So if I base myself, the acronym stands for, okay, how is my breath? Oh, it's really shallow. Okay. So all of a sudden I realized that shell I'm going to automatically take a deep breath. Okay, A stands for action. What is the action my body wants to take? Oh, I want to figure it out. I want to deep clean my bathroom. I want to hide in with myself. Oh, what does that feel like? Let me sit with that urge or the action. And then the next one is sensation. So what are the physical sensations in my body? Okay, an elephant is on my chest. My heart is beating through my chest. My stomach is in knots. And then the final one is emotion. What is my current state of being or my current emotion? So in this example, that would be anxiety. And then there's a further process, like depending what your E is, what your emotion is. So if I'm anxious, I'm in flight. So there's specific somatic exercises you can do to to get yourself out of flight that brings your central nervous system back into harmony.

SPEAKER_01: 1:03:29

Gosh, I love that. You've given us so much tools that we can integrate right this moment. And I know that... I can't remember what course I was in. You know what? It might have been. So I took the course Wheel of Consent. I've not heard of that. Her book is out there. Oh, you would love it. It is so good. And I can't remember if that was it. It doesn't... Whatever it was, but even in relating to another, taking that moment, and instead of going in with what you're upset about, begin with the sensations you're experiencing. With... you know like you hear this news okay somebody's told you something you don't like like your partner comes home and or you know you're in that whatever I mean I can have I have an experience when I had just learned this and I practiced it and he shared this information with me I was pissed but instead of saying I'm pissed like I think that I've gone from zero to 60 in two seconds like you know and I actually said my heart is racing I feel have gone weak my stomach Mm-hmm. with something they've shared or done or whatever, right? So that they can understand like, what does that feel like? Like, oh gosh, they can relate to those feelings, those sensations.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:30

Absolutely. And then you're not pointing the finger because who wants to say, oh, you pissed me off. Right. In reality, this is an internal experience. I feel pissed.

UNKNOWN: 1:05:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:44

So taking that to another level, well, how does pissed feel in your body? Like you said, oh, my heart is racing, right? Or like my legs have gone weak. Yeah, like blood

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:55

boiling. I don't know. But when you can explain that and articulate that, then they can sit with like that instead of feeling like you're blaming them or pointing, but just the value in, right?

UNKNOWN: 1:06:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:11

And no matter what Enneagram astrology type, like we are conditioned to use our brains, but healing does not happen in our head. It happens in our bodies and our hearts. So that's why like you sharing with your partner, like, oh, these are the physical sensations I'm experiencing, not only is beneficial for him, but it's beneficial for you because now you're owning, this is my present experience and you're not Right. will move through and out of you. So how do we prevent trauma is actually not what, like, it's not the traumatic event, right? Is what remains in our bodies after. So if we want to prevent having more trauma in our bodies, then we process in the now by noticing the present sensations and not the story our mind makes about it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:07:41

Um, So to back up, I know that you've brought the brain spotting into your work with clients. Did you, you said that you have experienced that. Did you do EMDR work in order to unpack some of the sexual abuse that you experienced? Is that how you got there?

SPEAKER_00: 1:08:13

Yeah. So I actually received EMDR before I received brain spotting. And I actually did do EMDR around the sexual abuse and had amazing results. And let me say this first, I am for whatever helps anyone, whether that's EMDR, brain spotting, body work, MER, the emotion code, there's So many, and some people like respond better to certain modalities than others. Why I chose to go the brain spotting route is because it is a do with process. And so there's not so many, you got to do this and then you got to do this and then you got to do this. Of course, there are things you need to know how to do, of course. But what I really like about it is I am as the practitioner, I am following the client. And so for things like physical, emotional, mental, sexual abuse, especially like really traumatic stuff, I have a lot of clients who say, Oh, I don't want to, I don't want to go back there.

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:29

And

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:30

in a way you don't have to necessarily go back there. Do you have to go into your body,

SPEAKER_02: 1:09:38

feel

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:39

the physical sensations of the residue in your body that was left from that event. But I think it just goes to show how much trouble our minds get us into versus when we're processing through our bodies, which is one thing I love about how somatic that brain spotting is. And I think that's why I was able to work through the sexual abuse I don't want to say quickly because I think like any, I think we're constantly healing on another level on another level, but like thoroughly because it was from a somatic place.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:29

Yeah. I was just curious because I know I, I, uh, I, let's see, I had some, um, I had a powerful experience with EMDR with one practitioner and then with another, not as much. And, um, you, and I don't know if like the gal that I saw here, she's no longer a practitioner. Um, her name was Judith Stevens. I don't know if you're familiar with her, but she also did, and maybe all EMDRs like this, where you follow that, those dots.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:07

So yeah. Once again it's that's what the eyes yeah but then i have some friends that actually like squeeze balls okay because the thing is also had as

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:18

this was doing this uh-huh things in my hands that and then also things behind my knees

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:31

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:33

Yeah. So, and I don't remember how they were all going off.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:37

No, I didn't, you know, I don't have any other experience with EMDR. The other gal was during COVID tele and this was, I don't think EMDR was ideal for telehealth personally. I struggled with it. Well, it didn't help that I would see her look at her phone. Uh-huh. Right. Because here she is working from home, checking texts. Like that didn't help. So I do think

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:00

practitioner is key.

UNKNOWN: 1:12:01

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:12:02

Yeah, totally. And for those like out there looking for a practitioner, I think it's really important to follow your intuition and not just look at like, oh, of course, you know, people need to have certifications. But like, how do you feel in this person's presence? And are they giving you their undivided attention? And that's a shame that like this person was distracted. And I will say like, about 80% of my business is online and brain spotting, you know, I can't speak to EMDR because I'm not trained in it. I've received it, but I haven't practiced it. But with brain spotting, it works great because I can see your eyes right now. And so it works really well because... you're facing one another and I can still see the eyes. It works. It works for me. It works just the same and just as well, whether it's an in-person or zoom.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:59

Yeah. And, and, and that was just my experience, like I said, with this woman. And so I definitely think again, I was like, I'm not gonna, you know, like she's too preoccupied.

SPEAKER_02: 1:13:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:13

Especially if you're doing like, there's a beauty in that you can see clients and we can have this conversation over the But when you're going to do it this way, and connect in this way, you really do have to be sure to turn off all those other things. And when you're sitting, because I've seen other gals too, right, in person, therapists, therapists, you can see what they're doing. You're in their room with them. You know, they're either paying attention to you or they're not, or they, you know, but, um, and so it's a little bit different feeling, but I, but, um, and so, you know, and I've had lots of things that have gone great over, over the internet. So,

SPEAKER_00: 1:14:02

um, I think it once, once goes back to like, who do you feel comfortable with? Yeah. I've stayed, I've been with my coach Tawny for 12 years because I trust her with my life yeah and you know I was very um when I first found out about her I was like oh I don't want to see someone on the phone or on zoom yeah I'm like I love it you know I get into my room sessions over okay close the computer sessions ready okay open the computer to get into a car but I think it really goes back to like people out there they're looking for someone it's all about finding the right person and listening to your intuition it doesn't matter if one person has more certifications or trainings than another. It's like, who do you feel most safe with? Who do you feel most seen by and heard by? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14:56

So I know that you mentioned prior a couple of things. You are working on a memoir, memoir.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:15:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 1:15:38

Highward is something that like many people have dealt with, no matter how like acute or chronic it may be, but it's not talked about. You know, I've read so many good books on people healing from addiction or abuse or, you know, grief. And there's so many help, like 12 step groups and community groups where you can come into contact with people who have experienced, but And even books like written about healing from cancer, like memoirs, but there's very few about the I word. And so like anyone who is out there struggling, my heart goes out to you. And that's one of the many reasons I'm writing this book. But really the outside story is healing from the I word and the internal story is, you know, what were the traumatic events that influenced like having these severe inability to sleep? And then what were also the events that were my biggest blessings in disguise. And like, you know, this theme of pain to purpose, wounds to wisdom, suffering to service, and burdens to blessings.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:07

Oh, I love those four. That's great. Yeah. Those are nice. Beautiful. I You know, it's funny because I just remember your family from church. And then I mean, I guess there's no chance meetings because we were like officially like connected because there's an age difference. So we wouldn't have been in any like Sunday school class together.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:34

And then when I was babysitting at collegiate, and then we would sit at the basketball rink and geek out about holistic healing and biohacking.

SPEAKER_01: 1:17:45

Yeah, it's wild. But I also had always wanted to write a book. And I don't know if you saw that I did. I self-published a book. this artwork. And so anyway, but I remember it was during COVID. I was listening to somebody about getting your book published. And this guy was like, just get something out there just so that you can call yourself an author. And then the book will come the book book, right? Because again, it's a memoir and it's not there. Although there's quite a bit of my story in here, but the story that I, have to write is it's, it's, yeah, it's not that, you know what I mean? Like, but, um,

SPEAKER_00: 1:18:52

and it, that's how we heal is through stories. And I think my first, like before I really was into this work, I spent when I was 19 and 20, I think for two years, all I read was memoirs. And in a way, just reading these books, like the Liars Club, um, Wild is one of my very favorite memoirs. So many, I read so many, but it just gave me so much hope. And I felt connected to these people that had these real life experiences. And I was like, holy shit, if they went through that, then I can absolutely get through this. Yeah. You know, when I lead retreats or workshops, I see people having the deep, like getting the deepest impact through hearing other people's stories and being able to be vulnerable. Like in the age of Instagram and look at my life through this filter, what people are really looking for, I see this in my practice, I see this in the yoga classes I teach, people are looking for honesty. They're looking for connection and true connection is vulnerability. So I think anybody out there that has a book in them, like, yeah, We want to hear it. We want to hear your story. It's like, that is... talk about the OG trauma release modality is just sharing our experience, sharing our strength and hope.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:29

Yeah. And I mean, and as you said, I forget all of them, the one that the burden to blessing, you know, and when you can reframe and really embrace the burden and embrace the blessing, I think that it's a really, um, good spot to be. It definitely can be transforming, you know, changing the trajectory. So one last thing, I know you mentioned potentially hosting an Enneagram retreat, maybe early 2026. I know you don't have dates, but if you want to talk a little bit about that and where the audience could find that information or follow you so that they can stay tuned and get that if they want

SPEAKER_00: 1:21:19

to So I, I am going to facilitate a weekend Enneagram workshop, probably a Saturday and Sunday here in Santa Fe. And So if people wanna get in contact with me, they can visit my website, which is my name, Barrett, B-A-R-R-E-T-T, Freiburt, F-R-E-I-B-E-R-T.com. You can even email me from the contact page. You can also follow me on Instagram. Also my name, Barrett A, my middle name, Barrett A. Freiburt on Instagram and keep in contact that way. Um, I am taking new clients. I usually book about like two months out in advance and I take everybody through a free 40 minute consult call to ensure I am the right fit for them. And also that that person is ready and willing to do this work because it works when you work it. So absolutely people can stay in touch that way.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:27

Okay. So your website is Barrett, B-A-R-R-E-T-T, Freiburg, F-R-E-I-B-E. Yes. And then your email can be found there, but it's also info at BarrettFribert.com. And then Instagram is Barrett A. Fribert, which I believe, right? We share the same middle name, right? Except for that yours is spelled with an A.

SPEAKER_00: 1:22:54

Right, right. A. Elizabeth. Yeah,

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:57

I love that. Which... It almost sounds... I mean, when you... Elizabeth, yeah. It almost really sounds like that. Elizabeth. And my... significant other, he's like, your mom doesn't even say the E it's just Lisbeth. I was like, Oh, I wonder if that's what it really was. Uh-huh. Oh, that's, that's a Lisbeth. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:24

Yeah. And maybe that's some Kentucky twang in there. I

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:28

love it. Well, I hope that you have a fantastic day. I'm so glad you joined me.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:36

I'm so honored to be on your podcast and connect with you and come full circle. I know. It's

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:46

beautiful when that happens. And it almost always does, right?

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:50

Yeah. Because when I was seeing you every day at collegiate, that was like right before all of this craziness happened in my life.

SPEAKER_01: 1:23:58

And then didn't also, though, you would come to piano, right? Is that you didn't bring him to piano? No. I know Liz. I remember

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:10

always being in that basketball hall. Okay. Did you? I think I did drop them off at piano and then we would, you know, we would always wait outside and just. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:23

Because Liz, were you after Liz or before Liz?

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:27

I was after Liz. Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:29

Yeah. It was just a fun time. It was, it was fun. I enjoyed talking to, you know, meeting both of you gals back then. But when, and I'm going to get out to santa fe so i'm not sure when um and then when you if you come back to kentucky definitely

SPEAKER_00: 1:24:46

let's have tea let's please do and please yeah as soon as you have your dates for santa fe let me know okay

SPEAKER_01: 1:24:53

i will because i'm going to get out there and visit my son and his now wife too so i'm excited to get back out that way yeah yeah well thank you so much barrett you elizabeth yeah and And then we'll be in touch.

SPEAKER_00: 1:25:11

Yes, we will.