The Polarity Lab & Love Frequencies: Tune Into Your Magnetic Power

Welcome to The Polarity Lab: Where Energy Meets Attraction! 

In this episode, we're diving into the magnetic dance between masculine and feminine energies -- the forces that spark attraction, deepen connection, and shape the way we love.  

Join Paige & Dr. Swanz LIVE on Friday evening, October 17th @ SuperTonic Herbs for a transformative exploration of how to harness your personal energy to magnetize the relationships and experiences you desire.  Whether you're calling in love, reigniting passion, or cultivating your own inner radiance, this conversation will expand your understanding of polarity and awaken the power of true attraction. 

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Website: www.holistech.life

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Website: www.vitalforcenaturopathy.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 1:20

Welcome back to today's episode of Unapologetic Living. I have the pleasure of having Dr. Peter Swans and Paige Pierman with me today. Hi, welcome. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:31

Hi, Elizabeth.

SPEAKER_01: 1:33

Um, hi. So I'm this is my first episode with more than one guest. That's kind of funny. So um I appreciate you all coming on here together. And uh I'm excited because this is one a topic that I have really began to dug into, dig into, or have dug into over the past few years. And I think it's so important that we're we bring awareness to um polarity and the polarity uh between within a couple or in our relationships. So I'm just gonna give a short introduction for who you guys are, uh, and I'm just going to read it. Um Peter is a naturopathic physician, men's health coach, creator of training for the bedroom. He brings medical wisdom, functional fitness, and relationship polarity work to the collective. Paige is a certified tantric practitioner, embodiment and relationship guide. She brings deep training in Tantra, polarity, and conscious communication. And together, um, they are merging holistic health and tantra to create real transformation for couples and individuals, which I don't know about you, I think a lot of couples need, especially when we look around, and the divorce rate is what, like 51%. And I sometimes get some uh uh pushback when I mention that because the argument is that, well, so many couples aren't getting married and are just living, you know, with one another. But so we don't maybe necessarily have the correct statistics on how many of those relationships fail or I hate to use the word fail, but don't survive. And then you have to wonder why aren't also people um taking that next step for that sacred covenant of marriage. And obviously, you know, there could be a multitude of reasons for that, but uh, you know, people tend to want to just try it on. And to me, in some ways, it's uh um inhibiting the man from really rising to his potential as male and leader and finding that king kingdom, you know, long term. Uh, and then for women not allowing them to truly surrender into that, right? That feminine. And then they don't have to be man and woman, let's take gender roles out of it. But uh the two energies are a thing, and two people cannot be vying for the same position. So who wants to start?

SPEAKER_00: 4:14

Well, I want to just say, I mean, that that trying it on. That's I I remember like 20 years ago, I met a couple and we were talking about relationship dynamics, and the wife absolutely said, I looked at this as a test, getting married. Like I knew the relate the marriage could end if it wasn't working. And and I think, you know, also just with like the divorce numbers, there's a reality that there's a lot of people that are just coexisting in relationships that maybe aren't divorcing because of kids or financial reasons, but they're also not thriving and they're also not, you know, they're probably existing in a in a place where they're more neutral and they're not cultivating polarity, they're not being intentional about the polarity, and the relationship from at least an intimacy standpoint is going to be lacking. You know, it might be a good partnership or friendship, but I think for the most part, I mean, we get into relationships because we want to feel charge, we want to feel attraction and desired and passion. And it doesn't mean it has to be there all the time, but we have to be aware when it is and when it isn't. And that's, I think, kind of what we're hoping.

SPEAKER_02: 5:27

And I think to his point, a couple of things I want to add is we know that after 12 to 18 months, the first year that people meet each other, there are strong hormones at play that create that magnetism. But scientifically, we know now after about 18 months, then those strong hormones wear off. It's like the goggles of like the initial attraction wear off. And then once that's gone, then you're really having to either have enough of that friendship and that connection and that communication, or you have something that creates that magnetism so that beyond 12 to 18 months, when the hormones subside, that there's something that's magnetizing the relationship beyond um hormones, right? Um, because we know that now scientifically, they wear off. And then that's where the rubber meets the road. And most people don't know that. They just don't know that, okay, like new new couples, right? Or I know I got engaged in 10 months and married not long after. So I didn't even know what the other side of that even would look like, you know. Um, so it's important that how do you keep magnetism alive if that's the intention for a long-term partnership? And even if it's not the intention for a long-term partnership, you still desire magnetism with another human.

SPEAKER_01: 6:55

Absolutely. So when you speak of this magnetism, I mean, you obviously we think of yin and yang, right? And you think of um, you know, magnets, and you know, the north-south, right? And be really feeling that attraction. Um, and yeah, you are in sort of that honeymoon phase for a little bit. And some people get to experience that longer. Um, but then you, you know, you are faced with who the individual is. It's no longer their resume, right? You get their resume, that's what you're dating, is they're putting out their best self for you. And then you start to see some of these other things, which I think is when you start to um, well, let's say where their opportunities for growth are.

unknown: 7:48

Right.

SPEAKER_01: 7:49

I don't want to say flaws or weaknesses. Let's say they are their these you begin to see where they have opportunity or room for growth. Both individuals get to see that, you know, from opposite sides.

SPEAKER_02: 7:59

Well, I know Peter is also where this concept of the stages of relationship, I know because we looked at the same work. So there's the first stage that we just talked about. The second stage is where the issues start to arise. So let's say beyond 12 to 18 months, you take the goggles off, and in the beginning, the person's perfect. You put them on a pedestal, everything's amazing. And then in the second stage, it's like, oh, but this actually really bothered me, or here's my trigger. I don't really like that about that person. Or, you know, that's when you start to maybe get into the nitpicking stage, is like maybe the second stage of relationship. And then there's a third and fourth stage. Most people never make it to stage four, which is where you go beyond the goggles, then the problems, then repair, like we talk about these concepts here. And then the the final stage is where you can meet this incredible relationship in a whole new dynamic. Most people never get beyond stage two.

SPEAKER_01: 8:55

So, okay, so we've got nitpicking, and then you what what would what would you how would you describe stage three and then four?

SPEAKER_02: 9:02

Stage three would be learning. I mean, and you probably could speak a lot about this, but stage three would be where you start to learn how to communicate, you start to learn how to, and even I think that's why we should go back to polarity, like you learn met you learn the tools because no human being is perfect. We know this. And so you start to have the tools to get you into deeper intimacy, deeper connection. And most relationships never even get to where they even know how to repair, which is why going back to like marriages and stuff, like that's what got me really fascinated in personally and going into this work is I got divorced. I was in a deep stage. Peter talked about this too with his life, but after I got divorced, I was just really like damaged about why I couldn't make it work. What was what was it that I didn't know? What did I not see? I mean, I went into this deep stage of self-inquiry. Like, if I want to access this in my lifetime, what do I need to know? What are the tools I need to have? What do I need to understand that I didn't understand in my early 20s when I got married? And I saw myself as like, not in a bad way, but it was like this failed. And there's something I need to access that I don't know. And I just got fascinated by how can I, I don't want to be like people that stay married and roommates. Like I didn't want to settle for that. I mean, you know, on my my ex-engagement, I was very clear, I never want to settle to where I'm a roommate with my partner.

SPEAKER_01: 10:36

I don't ever want to I agree. And I don't know, I mean, I know that it does seem like there are a lot of couples in that in that um space that I know personally, and I would love to see, you know, all couples thrive. And I really think polarity and cultivating this polarity is the answer. Um, and and you know, I I know you and I were talking about in the last um show that we the last conversation we had that book, Getting to I Do, I don't know if you ever got it. I know Paige read it, but you know, she talks about um having some of these conversations in the beginning. You know, like where who is gonna be the feeling person and the one that gets to be cherished and who gets to be respected because you can't really, it's not that there isn't right, because we hear this mutual respect, but it's not that most people both people are not respected. If somebody's cherished, they're feeling respected, but you don't get two people who get to be cherished and respected, if that you know, and so if you know going in, like how going back to polarity, how how do we cultivate that? And I know you guys have a workshop that will be coming up, but like what do you want to share there? Because I think if that's sort of like threaded out in the beginning, like all these other stages might be easier. However, we're we're life hard, life is hard, and I know the roles can go.

SPEAKER_02: 12:18

I think it's important to mention because I don't think always there's this internal conversation where you ask yourself that question. Am I the one that wants to be cherished or am I the one that wants to be respected predominantly? Right? Like you will go in and out of these roles. We all do. We know that I'm gonna fuse into my masculine energy. But what this work helped me really, really identify within myself is that I'm very strongly feminine and I want to be in that cherished role. But in my previous life, I would step a lot into that masculine energy unknowingly and want, you know, want to be in that energy. And it really damaged past relationships. But if I asked myself deeply, like I'm strongly feminine and I and I'm I predominantly want to be in that role of being cherished.

SPEAKER_00: 13:14

It's well, yeah, and it's something I think just society and culture sort of moved in this way, you know, through the feminist movement and empowering women and men in a lot of ways. We sort of from this, like, I'm gonna be a nice guy, I'm gonna take a step back. And then, you know, when we have a home and kids and the wife, a lot of times it is so common to let the wife kind of run the home. You know, here's the schedule, here's what the kids are doing, and the guy's just kind of sitting back, and it's setting them up to either be in this neutral position or to try to be in the same, like we're both in the feminine, or we're both trying to be in the masculine, and then it's like a repulsion about it.

SPEAKER_02: 14:05

Right. I think that's interesting because I don't think, like, pre-like, say if you went back to the 1950s, like housewife before, you probably didn't have so much confusion. And I think Peter was right, the feminist movement. I my personal belief, and this is probably how I charge, and I might offend a lot of people, but my personal belief is it did a lot of damage to society because I see something that I call toxic femininity. And again, I might I might make a lot of women mad, but please be super curious about what I'm saying by toxic femininity. I think when we put ourselves against men, we push them into this role of, like you said, like pushing them back. Like, like I saw that in myself, and I can say this from self-reflection place. We don't want to make them our enemy. It's so important. I see toxic femininity as making man the enemy. Whereas what we need to do in a relationship is so important that you're on the same team. And I think what the feminist movement did, and I don't want to offend anybody, just be curious about what I'm saying. It we're not enemies. We're in this whole culture of division. We need to be on the same team in a partnership. And what I saw in myself is I made in my marriage, I made that person my enemy as I was combating them, versus how can I be a teammate with this person? And I feel like what this work did is it helped reveal how much toxic femininity I had.

SPEAKER_01: 15:34

You know, yeah, I just heard, you know, you never hear that word.

SPEAKER_02: 15:38

Um, and it's probably I mean, and I know it's I know it's probably not gonna be a good pill to swallow, but we talk about toxic masculinity all the time. Yeah, and that Charlie Kirk. You can't have you can't have toxic masculinity without talking, because if you look at polarity, everything and the laws of nature affect one another.

SPEAKER_00: 15:57

It's and it's like, you know, going back to the relationship sort of stages, in the beginning, we're just excited to see the new person. And you know, the female partner is often, I'm gonna put on makeup and get dressed up, right? Like connecting with this feminine energy, and the guy's getting structured and gonna clean the car and we'll pick you up, you know, and and and and there's it's coming almost effortlessly from the attraction. And then what happens when it seems like couples go longer, they either start to bump heads, they they're not falling into those energies as easily, and then it seems like often they may start doing some personal work, some counseling, some growth stuff, and then it starts to become a little bit more kind of transactional, and people can, you know, they can learn about the feminine and the masculine and what it takes, but it but it's it's more it's more masculine, sort of in the way that it's being applied again. It's like, hey, I know this now about my partner, so we're gonna do this, and I'm gonna say this, and then she's gonna do this for me. It becomes very contractual, I think. And then as people start to become more adept and skilled and start to like self-discover, then the relationship, like this is this at levels where people often don't get, but it starts to become artistic, it starts to become creative, like that word, right? Yeah, and it's like you know, now we're open-hearted and it's all love, and it's not it's not as contractual. It's you know, we're finding that flow and that charge. And that's, I mean, for me, like that's the goal that I have in my life, and that what I want to help bring for other people is this ability to create more love and art and beauty in their life and in their relationships.

SPEAKER_02: 17:48

And yeah, and I you say the artistic, I think of alchemy, it's like, okay, like I could be in this mundane transactional relationship. However, I choose to show up consciously. Like, I'll give an example. So, as the feminine who loves to be cherished, like, you know, when I go on a date with my partner now, I could just show up like, you know, jeans and like a t-shirt and just be kind of lazy. But I take that time to like be in my feminine energy and like nourish myself so that when I come, I come full. I don't come sloppy, I don't come tired. I'm like, okay, I need to go home. Maybe I need to take a warm bath, maybe I need to go on a walk, maybe I need like some meditation or some breath work or some movement so that I can like relax a little and and you know, put a little more effort and energy so I'm not just showing up like blindly to the date, like without any conscious effort of how I'm showing up, you know. Because, like you were saying, you can get really comfortable and lazy in partnership because it's so easy after a while to just be with the person versus like I'm coming fully attuned in my own beingness to show up fully in this moment, you know, in the role that I want to be in to be cherished. Like I have to so the switch for me was let me cherish myself first. So when I show up this date, I've already like cherished my vessel. I'm showing up with the any energy of being cherished. Like I'm showing up already in that frequency. The art, the art is the alchemy that I've done to show up that that way. That's an example.

SPEAKER_00: 21:22

And then and hopefully the guy, you know, the the count, like I know this from my own experience. The old mentality was I'm just gonna be the nice guy, and I don't want to blow this date. I don't want to do or say anything to ruin it, so I'm gonna kind of not say anything and just sort of sit back and let this, you know, woman take the lead, and that's the exact opposite. That moves them out of the feminine. It's a disingenuous place for the guy to be because we're not really owning what we want and what our vision is for the for the evening or the date or the connection. And when you and when we and when a guy can get comfortable with themselves and then bring that to the feminine partner in a in a loving, kind way, we we just start supporting each other. And then the and then the polarity starts to build and the charges start to build, and everybody wins. But there's still this nice guy mentality, and I know this because I posted something on social media like a week ago or sometime, I don't know, in the last week, and it was talking about guys taking the lead. And I had a few different guys comment, they're like, dude, why don't you just ask the lady? You know, and it's like, because that's not what they want.

SPEAKER_02: 22:39

That's actually not and I love that you said that because I think that's what's so good about doing a workshop like this is I am biologically a female, I have never been in the body of a male to even experience what that would be like. So, how could I understand what the male brain is thinking or experiencing? However, I can definitely like take on a different energy, um, like leading, guiding, directing, decision making. Um, but I cannot comprehend. So, in that situation, these guys who are biologically male cannot comprehend what it's like to be in a in a woman's experience, right? So I think that's the art of doing something like this is you learn the art form. It you yeah, yeah, like and you couldn't comprehend it if you hadn't been, I think that's why we call the polarity lab. Like, if you haven't been in like a container to try these things on to see how they work or how they show up energetically, you probably have no understanding of how powerful this is.

SPEAKER_00: 23:49

It's yeah, we tend to be in our head, right, in the early stages, and we think we know what they're feeling, what they're doing. But when we show up in that polarity space and the guys being present and being still, I can feel my partner, and that's what she wants. And then when she feels safe to that I'm feeling her, then she says, Oh, I want to open for you. And now she's feeling even more of me, and that's the that's the beauty, that's the dynamic. And it's it's not it, it's removing us from our head and tapping into our body and our heart and the energetic. And it's such a yummy, juicy place to be, especially apart, you know, with somebody we love.

SPEAKER_01: 24:33

Well, you know, one of the things I think that we face today is the cultural messaging and conditioning from the feminist movement. And it's not even just feminist movement, okay? Just the uh and maybe, maybe it originates there, maybe that is part of the root cause. Um, but as you mentioned, the word toxic masculinity, you never hear anybody speak of toxic femininity. Uh and I think a huge part of the problem is that we need to be able to honor the gifts and the unique wisdom and insight of the other. And because the messaging is so backwards and twisted, women almost want men today, right? They want the feeling guy. But in reality, that only goes, that only works for a little while until right the pull the repulsion. It might be okay in the beginning. Oh, he's super nice, blah, blah, blah, uh, you know, right. Um, but as you go further back to the nice, I don't think it allows for that surrender to take place. And we have to do some untangling and almost deconditioning of the blueprint that so many of us have been given, especially us in our 40s. I think we're gonna see a shift in the younger people.

SPEAKER_00: 25:59

But I hope so.

SPEAKER_01: 26:01

When I when you bring it up for some people, they are repulsed by the idea of this polarity concept.

SPEAKER_02: 26:10

Well, I think that's really important what you just said, because let's go back to this concept of toxic femininity and the feminist movement. What really was an eye-opener for me coming back to the health and wellness like aspect training for the bedroom, is I was coming, women were coming into my office with these like severe autoimmune conditions. And as I was taking my notes over and over and over again, I saw adrenal burnout, adrenal fatigue, burnout, because these women were running, they were running their work very well. And then they were going home and running their lives, trying to be a superwoman. And they're like, I have no desire for sex. Like I'm literally like so spent at the end of the day. I've given to my kids, I've given to my work, I've made dinner. Like it's it's 10 o'clock at night, and I haven't even had a moment for myself. Why in the hell would I want to give it up at this point? And I saw this like over and over and over and over again. And I was like, oh, no wonder we have like all this, like, you know, women predominantly have autoimmune conditions, you know, because hormonally, to run yourself like a male isn't natural to our biology. And that's when I was like, oh my gosh, like it's not just me, it's literally across the board. Because when women went into the workforce, what they didn't realize is they had triple job. They had the job of, you know, going to work, they had the job of maintaining the household, the job of the kids. And then all of a sudden it's like, well, I don't want to be a superwoman anymore. Like, so we traded, and I'm not saying like I'm a working woman, I am an intellectual being. I love having my life purpose, but it also can come at a major cost if you are so burned out that you can't even be present to want to even surrender to your partner.

SPEAKER_00: 31:04

Yeah, often I think too, it plays out what again, the feminine wants fullness, wants to be felt. And so a lot of people that aren't tapping into this in a way that's, you know, like truly authentic to who they are and what they would do if all the other stress stuff is removed, they're filling themselves up with food and with TV and social media.

SPEAKER_02: 31:28

Yeah, if they're not connecting together, what I see is exactly what Peter said. It's like, okay, well, they'll scroll on their phones at night and they're in the same bed, or they don't even go on a walk together, or they don't even talk about what their day was like. And yeah, I mean, like being on TV and consuming food and coming home and drinking and like all these things, but they're not connecting with one another. And then they find themselves like, you know, 25, 30 years later, and they don't even know one another. And I didn't ever want that for myself.

SPEAKER_00: 31:59

And we don't know ourselves in these moments, too. That's the I mean, that's a huge thing here. And that's why, too, for like the workshop, I mean, single people are invited. Where, you know, we would love, we want couples that want to come and learn this and work together.

SPEAKER_02: 32:13

And there's something beautiful about you know, dating, singles, because everyone can benefit from this work. And I think that's so important because even if you're not dating, like I was saying, like to be able to come home and figure out how to drop into my feminine, like, oh wow, like what do I need to come home and surrender to myself? And what does that feel like? Because there's so much embodiment vulnerability and just facing yourself. Like you and I talk about this, Elizabeth. Like, oh my gosh, like when I have to surrender to myself, like all the emotion like will pour out of me, like this unprocessed like stuff that's in me.

SPEAKER_01: 32:52

So you all are going to be going over when you when you talk about the Polarity Lab, it's coming up what November? Well, the for the Polarity Lab will do a workshop, like a free workshop.

SPEAKER_00: 33:04

Um Sunday, October 19th at 2 p.m.

SPEAKER_02: 33:09

Yep. Okay, that's a free and that's free so that people can just have more of an introduction and conversation to what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00: 33:18

And and and that's gonna be again like some simple practices, kind of an overview, giving people a little taste of what the weekend more intensive workshop will be. So that's kind of our vision.

SPEAKER_01: 33:32

We want to give people a little tease or people who might be interested to come and and just get a taste of this comp of the conversation and and and there I will I I don't want to make assumptions, but I'm thinking that you might, because for many, even the concepts and the characteristics or traits or energies that uh the masculine would traditionally embody, right, are masculine energies versus the feminine. I think I wouldn't say today there are a lot of people who don't even realize they're in maybe the opposite one, even though they for real, right? I'm like, when I can look back after reading all of this uh new literature, I can see very clearly where I was in my masculine and running the show. And I know I think we spoke about it last time, it very much so goes back to my childhood and the inability to trust the male role model that I had. And uh not only that, that because that is the leader, right? A leader energy. The masculine is the leader energy, right? Um it also left me very uncomfortable with trusting my own leader, my own inner leader, right? So it's not, it's not that I just don't trust the men I've picked, right? It's that I also, because when you truly can surrender to yourself and you understand your intuition and you have a really solid um masculine container for yourself, then you don't doubt the decisions that you're making, right? And you are able to surrender into those decisions that you're making. So you're able to bring the feminine into that when you can trust. But I do think a lot of times that goes back to um a masculine energy that maybe uh was um inconsistent or consistently inconsistent, what whatever, whatever, you know, the uh not intentional, not as intentional, not as yeah, right. Um and and so you know, and then you've got the feminine, what does that look like? Because when you think about, you know, people get really afraid of the word surrender, that means I'm letting somebody just take control. Well, not necessarily if you've trusted yourself to make a decision, surrendering to the person is going to feel safe.

SPEAKER_00: 36:06

And or exciting, right? It's like I mean, we we I surrender when I jump on a roller coaster. Like I'm going on a route.

SPEAKER_01: 36:14

I'm fucking scared to go on a roller coaster. I mean, I'm 47 with scoliosis. Like, that I don't know if I could do it now. Like skydiving. Yes.

SPEAKER_02: 36:24

Yeah, that one either. I don't know. Well, and I think that that I love that that actually just came up because it made me realize something about maybe reason to come to this workshop is um if you find yourself, maybe you're listening to this and you're one of those people that gets in relationship but has a fear of deeper intimacy, like you're always running to the next relationship, or you're like not able to go in deep with somebody or be super vulnerable. Um that's like that's like skydiving. It's like, okay, I can have this like superficial, like in the beginning, dance with you, but like to go the next mile would be like jumping out of the, you know, because what we'll tend to do, and I I can speak from my own personal experiences, if there's for the feminine, if there's a flight from intimacy, as soon as there's vulnerability, you can shut it down for the fear of exposure, exposure to your vulnerability. Like that's like jumping out of an airplane to surrender to the level of exposure that you might reveal about yourself. Um, and that's true for men too, right? That's a feminine thing, like the vulnerability, but men can have that as well. Like that would be the feminine within the masculine to be able to be vulnerable enough to be seen fully, right?

unknown: 37:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 37:47

I mean, we have a dance of these polarities. So when we're talking about polarity, we're talking about okay, to magnetize with each other, one has to be in one of the energy in the other. But you also have to be able to incorporate, just as you said, the inner masculine within the feminine and the inner feminine within the masculine, the yen and the yang, right? You have a little bit of each. So you do have to learn how to dance with that masculine energy in yourself or the feminine energy. You know, and and I think that's so important because we were talking about these stages, like the moment at which we can become vulnerable and fully seen by the other person is probably where that second stage shuts down because you can't get to the third. The third would require deep levels of intimacy and vulnerability and to be seen and to be accepted in your wholeness. And that's like a super scary place to even go.

SPEAKER_01: 38:43

Yeah, so I want to ask you something, Peter, about the like the men that you reach, because I know Paige and I are with a lot of women, probably more often than not. Um I I I think some men can also be a little bit turned off by or afraid of stepping into that masculine. Uh I wonder if um, you know, you have these men today that want the woman to be pulled away, right? And and that's difficult. Um, and that for I mean, I do think for a man that is trying to show up, protect, provide, uh, kind of wear all the stress on his shoulders, it's a it's a big burden. And you know, he has to uh have the stamina emotionally, mentally, psychologically, spiritually, in order to do so. Um I know that there are men out there who's like, no way, that's not the kind of she's pulling her weight, or I'm not you right. And then again, we've we lose polarity and then the relationship falls apart for whatever reason. Almost, I mean, I'm gonna guess almost always. Or you become the roommates. And that again, like you guys, I'm not interested in. If I want a roommate, I'll go find my girlfriend and we can be roommates together. That's not what I'm interested in. Um, I think that it's incredibly important to have, you know, thrive outside and inside the bedroom. And I do think so much of this is cultivated, right? Not even in the bedroom.

SPEAKER_03: 40:20

Right?

SPEAKER_01: 40:21

The foreplay is not happening always in the bedroom. I mean, to get to the bedroom, you have to have all this other foreplay throughout the day, you know, throughout the week, in order to, I think Jordan Peterson says you need 90 minutes of uninterrupted time with your spouse before you even think about you know, of just conversation, connection time, but without talking about the kids or business, right? Because so much that's what so many couples resort to before you even think about you know, that next level with her. You know, and so do you find that when men are approached with these topics that it seems to or you find the same re repulsion, or you know, I don't think back uh that that's not what I want, you know. I want a woman who's equal with me, you know. And they're we're equals. We're equals.

SPEAKER_00: 41:21

But we yeah, I think I mean my experience personally, and then what I've heard and seen and with a lot of guys, and and and Robert Glover, who is the author of the book No More Mr. Nice Guy, he talks about it a lot too. He's like, you know, so many of us came up from this generation with these like baby boomer parents, and you know, a lot of times the dad was working and drinking, you know, like the madmen, like focused, and maybe it looked very masculine, very driven in this professional way, but then like the energy between the mom and the dad is not necessarily great. And so mom is putting a lot of energy into the boys and saying, hey, when you grow up, don't be like your dad. You know, you need to be a nicer guy, you need to be a better guy, you need, you know, women need to think you don't just want sex from them. Like there's all these stories that are put in these guys' heads, and then again, the result is, oh, I'm gonna be this nice guy. I don't want to hurt my mom's feelings, so I don't want to hurt these women's feelings. I am, so I'm gonna just be it's the nice guy seduction. I'm gonna be really nice, and eventually she's gonna see how awesome I am and how I'm not like my dad and all those toxic guys, and then she's gonna want to have sex with me and you know, get naked with me. And like that doesn't work. It just doesn't, it doesn't happen. What it becomes is this it builds resentment in both people because it starts to become this thing of like this uh you know, this obligatory thing of where the guy's like, hey, I'm such a great guy. Like, well, how how come you're not wanting to have sex with me? You know, and like the guy can't get it through his head. Like, you're not being attractive. You're not creating attraction. It's not the you can be kind and a good person, but sh it's not it's not passive, right? You need to we need to be intentional and act from a place. And it's it's a hard thing to do, it's a hard thing for guys to do, especially if we grew up constantly getting these messages.

SPEAKER_02: 43:40

Well, and so like just what what messages are not just by the mothers. I mean, we're even seeing this in the classroom with boys, like, don't be rough and tumble. And you're you're most likely you have a feminine teacher who's running the classroom and like you know, like not giving boys like that full expression of you know, like the ADHD is through the Christ. I mean, it's just like the we have this this this boys need to like act like girls or behave or whatever. Um, but I think to your point, what that did is it spiked alcoholism, it spiked like sports and pornography. Like, okay, well, I can't, I don't have any domain here in the house, so I can drink myself through this, like the madman, or um, interesting, it's madman too. Um, I can either drink myself through this or just check out and watch sports. I can have pornography, but then there's no intimacy, there's no deep connection. And it's fueled also by the feminine being like, I control the household, let me make the household decisions, and then resenting the man for not doing it.

SPEAKER_01: 45:59

Yeah, and then we also have a generation of young kids. I mean, we all have kids. My my oldest is 23. Um, and yours, yours are how old, Peter?

SPEAKER_00: 46:10

21 and 24.

SPEAKER_01: 46:12

Yeah, and yours are what, 15 and 13? 13, but 13 and 15, yeah. Yeah, so you know, back when I was raising Noah, uh, I purposely signed up for, and I don't know if I talked to you about this in that last conversation, signed Noah up to play in a league that did not keep score. And everybody got a trophy, right? And and all he wanted to do is keep score. That's why he wanted to go to school. He wanted to play on a basketball basketball team where they kept score because at that point he was being homeschooled. And I was like, okay, right. He was craving that competition and the challenge, right? And that is just elemental for men. And and we want to just squash it out of them. Everybody's getting a damn trophy, you know, no one knows where where they stack up, even though in some degree, I think it was in Wonder Boys, men kind of need to know where they are in the pecking order. And they, I mean, I think there is sometimes there is some of that locker room cruelty, but there is also some of that like kind of like uh rough and tumble, and that's not the word, you know, where they're just sort of um in the middle together, trying to like refine themselves, right? Which looks a little bit doesn't look like girls play. Right?

SPEAKER_00: 47:35

No, it's it's totally yeah, it's it's totally different, and it's crucial for for boys, right?

SPEAKER_02: 47:41

I mean competition is so crucial that I say this because suicide rates and men are through the roof. Like, so you have the nice guy, you can't be a boy, you can't fully express in the way that you did prior gender roles, right? And then all of a sudden there's no outlet for men, there's no safe space, there's no community, and then you have suicide rates. Like there's this disillusionment and isolation that happens. I mean, it's a real thing. Like men suffering and not going and getting help is a true um result of the lack of understanding polarity.

SPEAKER_00: 48:20

And it's why young kids aren't dating today and are afraid to date. And why, you know, that's I've seen many polls recently where it's like women are like, where's the guys? You know, and and and and see, here's where it starts to be sort of this like line we have to walk because you know, there is this like if you remember, like, you know, in colleges, hey, we need to have a contract for consent. And like, is it okay if I kiss you? Right? Like they were putting out this like that was a good idea, and it's actually a horrible idea to kind of take away the polarity in charge. And the reality is women will say they don't they want to be kissed spontaneously by somebody who they want to kiss them, right? They don't want it coming from somebody who who's not there, but they do want that in that sort of flow in the world.

SPEAKER_02: 49:15

They would know that they're desire, they want to be desired, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 49:18

And the and the guys want that, but the thing is, you know, the guys are too scared to take that step. And and and like we're trying to create these things again to make it safer, but it really is is making it boring. Same thing, why guys don't approach women you know out in public. They and say they're afraid how you do they're afraid.

SPEAKER_02: 49:39

Well, now women are like finding like where the men yet we didn't realize with toxic femininity is we isolated the men from wanting to come towards us. Like, I mean, I was just on a forum yesterday where this one's like, there are no men, and I'm like, they're everywhere. It's just the way that you're you're conceptualizing it because this is exactly to this point. What well they're not chasing me, they're not coming after me. Like, so we we didn't realize the results of what that would do. We didn't realize the this full spectrum of like, you know, shaming men and then them not wanting to come around. Like, it's like, okay, well, I have to play it safe. I can't, I don't want to do anything that's like politically incorrect. And then women are like starving for it. Like, where are the good men?

SPEAKER_00: 50:23

And when we start to be well, I was saying when we start to become more tapped into these energies and the awareness, it's easier to feel that in the moment. Yes, a guy can be out at a place and be, you know, just chill and present and feel, hey, wow, this woman over here, like, she's vibing with me. She's feeling this, and she's her feminine. And and when and when you can feel that, it's a it's a beautiful gift to be able to have a conversation and share that energy exchange. And the beautiful thing is, you know, the feminine energy is so sensitive and so expressive. It's uh, it can it can put a guy on notice when we're not showing up in that strong space. You know, we're not coming in with our best, most full presence. It's like, oh wow, she's she's upset or she's feeling fearful, or she's closing off to me. And that's a that's a signal. It doesn't mean you did something wrong, right? But it means you need to be aware. Hey, where are you not breathing? Where is this energy getting bound up in you? And how's it reflecting in there? And it's a gift. We get to be a gift to each other in in these dynamics. And the cool thing is like these energies play out with our children and you know, in work environments, and when we're talking with our extended family and and parents, and it's a it so just this self-awareness of these dynamics, it has the potential to impact all these aspects of our life.

SPEAKER_01: 51:59

Yeah, I think about when you were mentioning, you know, being aware in that stillness that you know, some chick is vibing, right? You can feel the vibes or the energy emanating from her. It I know I can tell you from my past, there would have been times I would have been the one to reach out. And as soon as I reach out, right, or made the phone call or sent the text, I have stepped into that masculine energy, right? And so you almost set it, set yourself up for this wonky dynamic from the get-go. So if you really are craving to stay in that feminine, let him come to you. He will, or or move on.

SPEAKER_02: 52:43

Um well, think about it this way. This is a really good way to think about it. How many people say, I do not want to go on a dating site? Oh, that is not for me. That doesn't feel good. Men and women say I don't because it's a contrived space. And I don't want to get into dating sites really, but people don't want to do it because I think innately they want to feel the way that it should be. They want to feel the natural vibing and magnetism around the opposite sex. Like, gosh, to have to go on a dating site is this contrived space to like play all this out. People hate it, they don't want to do it, they don't like it because it doesn't invite these energies in the way they do in a natural environment, you know?

SPEAKER_01: 53:28

Well, and I have a friend out in Arizona. She is, well, she's actually going to a Tantra speed dating event tonight. Um, out in uh I know. So it's this, and uh so you know, she's going knowing that the individuals showing up are in the same space or are looking for the same type of polarity already, right? Um, but she spent, you know, days communicating with someone thinking there's this, and then gone on the date that was a complete and total, you know, I mean, right? I mean, it just wasn't it wasn't there. Um, and I know there are relationships out there who have are maybe even thriving through that, but I agree. They they it's they it's hard to gauge that type of electricity when you're not in the same room. And I think what is it, bumble is the one that lets you lets the women women choose to initiate, yeah. Yeah, I mean, like right there, you I mean, you're just giving and I understand that the safety and that I you know, but it also is right there, just kind of setting both people up for this dynamic that may or may not work long term. You're already putting her, like forcing her to go into this space if you choose that that particular ad.

SPEAKER_02: 54:58

But I also think it's kind of fascinating if you really go within your own self-discovery of like how feminine and masculine are you, and you think about it as a spectrum, like you could fall anywhere. I mean, there's really masculine women, and there's really feminine men. And so then you can see, okay, like the magnetism is like if I'm this feminine, I need to be in a polarity relationship with, you know, like if I'm 75% feminine, I'm probably best with a 75% masculine man. If you want to be in your masculine, you really enjoy that, which a lot of people do. I mean, there are women that love being in their masculine, you're probably best served with a man that has a little bit more of those feminine qualities. So just I think that there's being honest with yourself about what your intentions are, what you want. I mean, if you want to wear the pants in the relationship and you're a woman, then you probably need to be with a man because that's where the polarity is gonna be. And that's okay, and that exists. I mean, there's a spectrum of how feminine and how masculine you have in your own beingness. And if you're mismatched where you're really in your feminine and there's a guy who's really feminine, it's not there's not gonna be that polarity there.

SPEAKER_01: 56:09

Um, okay, so the first event is October 19th, 19th. Sunday at 2 p.m.

SPEAKER_00: 56:16

Sunday afternoon.

SPEAKER_01: 56:17

Okay, and that's out um at your location.

SPEAKER_02: 56:20

It's at 2 30 here, um, down in the Super Tonic Herbs on 2714 Frankfurt Avenue at 2 30. Um, so you can just show up.

SPEAKER_00: 56:30

Um, and we have an eventbrite.

SPEAKER_02: 56:32

We have an eventbrite link that's on our social media.

SPEAKER_00: 56:35

So we'll put that out.

SPEAKER_02: 56:36

Yeah. And then um I'll make sure those are in the yeah. So that's and then the actual weekend workshop is November 14th through the 16th.

SPEAKER_00: 56:43

Yeah, 14th, 15th, and 16th. So it's gonna be a Friday evening, a few hours kind of in orientation, getting everybody just sort of connected and grounded. And then Saturday and Sunday, we're gonna be doing the work and it's gonna be some group stuff and then some breakaway stuff. There'll be opportunities for couples to work together. There'll be opportunities for just the women to work with Paige, and I'll be working with just the men.

SPEAKER_02: 57:06

Yeah, and I think that's why this worked because when I talked to Peter, I was like, you know, I feel like I can really hold a strong container for the women, but I feel like a man needs to hold a strong container for men, and he's been into this for 20 years, maybe or yeah. So, like exploring this, and and then, you know, I've already done these workshops in a very successful way, and couples absolutely loved it and were blown away. And people that weren't connecting, you know, for five, 10, 15 years, they were roommates, were like all of a sudden there was magnetism in a weekend. So I really feel that this is um pertinent and helpful.

SPEAKER_00: 57:40

And we can and we can change these dynamics.

SPEAKER_02: 57:44

We can choose to be a different, you know, we can be in the in the art, yeah, in the art and the alchemy of this and of learning how to be magnetic in our own energies.

SPEAKER_00: 57:54

Yeah, and it and it's and it's actually again, it's really it's it's heartwarming and it feels good when people start showing up in their more authentic self. When the nice guy says, Hey, I'm not gonna be the nice guy anymore. I'm still gonna be kind, but yeah, I know I used to always do that, or I was a pushover about this, or I never asserted what I wanted. That's not me anymore. And when you say that, even if it's to the same partner, it's like it changes everything because all of a sudden now she's like, Oh, here's this guy, you know, who who I knew was there, or I had glimpses of in the beginning, and let's see what happens.

SPEAKER_01: 58:32

Yeah, glimpses of in the beginning. All right, and okay, so now that workshop is also open to couples, singles, everything.

SPEAKER_03: 58:42

Okay, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 58:43

Then what makes dating, not dating. Okay. Um, what and what would you say makes this workshop unique? I know um there are, I don't know if there's anything out there like that here, like this here.

SPEAKER_02: 58:59

So yeah, I think what makes it unique is just the exploration. If you haven't done this, then the exploration, you'll find a lot. You'll be able to discover a lot about yourself more than anything.

SPEAKER_00: 59:11

I think too, just you know, uh as I'm a naturopathic holistic physician. So for me, like this relationship stuff is part of the holistic health transformation. Telegram. And so, you know, like talk, I mean, tying in some stuff maybe around some basic nutrition things and how we can support hormones. And, you know, we're there's there's so much information that we have the potential to share.

SPEAKER_02: 59:37

Well, and that's probably why, like, not only from our own self-discovery, like I said, probably why we both went into this as health practitioners is because we saw a need. I mean, I like I said, when I would meet with women with all these autoimmune conditions and hormonal conditions again and again and again and again, I was like, this is so needed. And I'm sure you're in the same boat. It's like, this is part of the whole holistic picture of your health.

SPEAKER_00: 1:00:00

When and when, like for me, talking to patients and just saying, hey, like I hear you and where you're at emotionally. Can you see that's your feminine body? And can you see that you're trying to balance that or compensate it by eating all this food or watching the bad shows, you know? And like, so we need to, we need to, we need to be able to feel the feelings more and then cultivate new practices, healthier practices that will give us the same balance. And then when we can, and then when I can start coaching their partner, their husband, their spouse to come in and offer different support. And the amazing thing for me to discover, and I think that I get to you know, talk to couples about is you don't have to fix it. Like the guy, it's you know, the masculine wants to solve problems and get done. But when the feminine is in that emotional body, it doesn't want the problem solved, it just wants to be felt.

SPEAKER_02: 1:00:59

And that takes all the pressure off the guy in a way, and it's oh yeah, because like they're trying so hard, and then it's like then almost like it becomes more explicit because it's like I'm just needing like to be heard and seen and like and just just witnessed, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:14

And we do it to ourselves again. That's the same thing. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:17

All right, so I'm gonna ask a couple of questions, and they weren't really on my agenda, but or really most of them. I I didn't know where the con I mean, I knew I had an idea of where our conversation was going. Okay, so let's say the goal would be, and I'm uh I'm just curious. Uh, we're all what mid 40s, late 40s, are we all late forties?

SPEAKER_00: 1:01:39

Later, yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:42

47, what are you, Paige? 48. I'll be 48 November, yeah. I'm 48. Yeah. Okay. So, you know, we're at this age, and I do know, right, as you mentioned, libido for the women that you see tends to run lower, especially when there's autoimmune conditions, especially when there's stress. Do you find, uh, because I'm curious, um, that the same is uh is in the men that you see. I know you don't just see men, but uh in the men that you talk with or in circles of men that you know that their libido is low, or do you find that you hear my wife doesn't want to have sex?

SPEAKER_00: 1:02:25

I mean, it is definitely more it is the honest answer is more often it's the yeah, she doesn't want to have sex.

SPEAKER_01: 1:02:32

And um and and and what do you think, again, you know, of people that you know who are older, like because we hear all these numbers, or you know, if you've looked into it at all, right? Oh, your average married couple might be having sex once a week. You've got people having sex once, and then you've got people who have gone five years. Um, do you all personally know anyone you know who is well into their older years? I'm just curious. Hardly very few that are really thriving and still sleeping together. And you know, because I think that that is the realistic goal to be having a thriving sex life when you know that the highest number of STDs are in nursing homes. That I'm serious, it's true, it's true, it's true that you could have a thriving sex life into your 70s and 80s. I uh do you all believe that? I know we're holistic health practitioners, we are making all the choices that would uh take us to that place.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:43

I mean, I think it's why it's so important because what I witness is it's it it's very it's maybe like 10%. That's what I would guess, that are truly thriving fully. Okay.

SPEAKER_00: 1:03:55

I I when I see people transforming their health holistically, it will start to yeah, it starts to increase, you know. It starts to get balanced.

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:05

Like they feel good about I mean women, if they feel bad in their bodies, they don't want to have sex because they feel like they're like, I feel over I hear women all the time, I feel so overweight, I don't even want to be seen in my body right now.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:15

So it definitely translates into the bedroom. And so for you, you find with men that uh it's more often than not that that their wife, you know, I hate to say that, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:04:28

But I know that uh I that's not it's a it's a like ED or like more like just direct health function or things like that.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04:35

Yeah, that's a legit issue too. I mean, there definitely are hormones, and but the cool thing is now, you know, we there's so many different approaches to optimize hormones and to you know make that not be as big of a problem. And and and it can be a big problem for people, but a lot of times too, it might be an emotional thing, right? Or you know, a stress thing, and you know even performance, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:02

For men, it's like even performance in the bedroom, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:05:06

A hard thing for guys, and as a nice guy stuff, and we'll talk more you know at the workshop stuff about this, but there's it's it's we don't want to feel selfish, yet we do want to have this sex. So often guys will focus a lot of their attention on their female partner's pleasure, and that's why it's hard when they when it seems like your female partner doesn't want to be with you in this physical way. They're like, Yeah, but I really want you to feel good, you know. But we also men have to get more comfortable owning their own pleasure, their own desire, and and and do it from a place where you don't feel guilty, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:05:49

And then I think too from the toxic feminine, and I know again, I don't I have to be very careful in how to say this I've been in this space, like I have been in a space where it's like, well, I've been holding on the house, I've been doing all this, and then you want this for me. Like, it's like, how dare you? Like, how dare you when I'm like I'm so maxed out energetically. Um, so there's this like shaming, like, don't touch me, don't come near me. I mean, it's like women can be very um like just standoffish, like you want this, but like I don't even have the bandwidth for it. So I think that's why it's so complicated. So I then resentments will build and the distance will create more and more divide. And I guess my question for you like, well, that's that would be the toxic vim, like that'd be very selfish of you.

SPEAKER_00: 1:06:40

And it feeds the guilt again, like it's like a suspicious cycle, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:06:45

So and and with the women that you see page, or either one of you, um and they come in low libido. Do you feel that there is the underlying desire to actually want to find and cultivate that desire again? Or do you find that and I think in some time, some ways that people are just okay, I don't want to go there again, you know?

SPEAKER_02: 1:07:12

Like I have both I have women that are comfortable. Comfortable and they're not addressing their libido. And I have women that are like, I would do anything to fix my libido. What sign me up? Yeah. Yeah. Um, for me, in my early stages, I didn't even know I had zero libido. I like my libido was zero. And I had no idea what was causing it. Like I was just like, it's it's not there, it's non-existent. So I didn't even think it was possible. I think that's why this work has been so profound for me because I didn't even think it was possible to have a libido. I just, I just wrote myself off as a woman who didn't have a libido. And now at going on 48, I'd say my libido is like a 10. Like it's like full on. And in my 20s and 30s, I would have told you it was a zero, maybe max of one on a scale of one to 10. And I I couldn't even comprehend. So like I would have been one of those women who's just like, it's just not there. It's non-existent.

SPEAKER_01: 1:08:14

Yeah, and you hear that. I mean, I've heard that. I'm just not interested at all. And and then you go back to, you know, energetically the root chakra, right? Pro um being provided for or having the financial resources one's needed, you know, feeling safe and secure. So if you um if your root chakra is not solid or firm, grounded, then then this the sacral chakra is not going to be open to receiving. It's like if your body's in stress, in a chronic state of stress, the last thing it's gonna try to do is procreate. So you're gonna keep that dick as far away from you as you can so that you're not, you know, I'm serious. What's procreation? Yeah, if you're like the body subconsciously knows, like, look, I'm too much in a state of stress to be growing a developing fetus and birthing it right now. So she will shut down.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:04

And and this is where I think in that sort of like second phase level where people can find these like comfortably uncomfortable contractual dynamics, like, all right, we'll have sex Saturday morning, once a week, you know, it's gonna be at this time. And it's it becomes this sort of, you know, like mercy sex. It's it does still build the resentment, the guy still feels guilty, but we're kind of like, ah, I guess that's good enough. At least we're doing it once a week or something, right?

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:39

Right. So now, doesn't um Esther Peryl, though, talk about that maintenance sex like throughout a long-term relationship.

SPEAKER_00: 1:09:47

I haven't read that book, but yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:09:51

I mean, because I could see some value in that if you're with someone, let's say 50 years, which I haven't been, you know, you might have some of those Saturday mornings.

SPEAKER_00: 1:10:02

Yeah, I am a huge fan of scheduled intentional intimacy. Me too. Because because surfs its place. Yeah, because it can take the pressure off of the initiation, the saying yes, the saying no. And if both people are willing to be like, oh yeah, let's be excited that we're scheduling for Saturday. And here's what I'm gonna do to tap into my masculine before we come together, and here's what I'm gonna do to tap into my feminine, and then you know, we're gonna practice these tantric exercises or these breathing things, you know, it's not scheduled sex would be right now, since we're talking about polarity, that would be masculine energy.

SPEAKER_02: 1:10:42

Yes, whereas the feminine energy would be like, I need to be in flow, like without any schedule at all, right? Like, so even that, like we can talk about the polarity even within that, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 1:10:53

So then, okay, so then when we come down to that, if like you get like detailed, who is planning that?

SPEAKER_02: 1:10:59

Well, it would be both people agreeing, it would be an agreement.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:03

And sometimes it's fun to trade. The cool thing is the man doesn't always have to be in the masculine, and the woman doesn't always have to be in the feminine, and and you can play with those energies and play with those dynamics, and who's more giving and directing, and who's more receiving and open? Like absolutely those those energies can change. I think it's not uncommon for guys to struggle to receive in that way.

SPEAKER_01: 1:11:32

Um, you think it's more difficult for women?

SPEAKER_00: 1:11:36

Well, I think it uh I think it's hard for men to relax more into their feminine energy because again, there's this we don't want to be selfish. It's a it feels selfish if I'm just receiving, you know.

SPEAKER_02: 1:11:54

But like even still, like um when I did my tantric training to be able to allow a man to fully receive like a hundred percent, like in a in an intentional way, some men have never actually even experienced that. So they could just get super vulnerable because it's like I've never even been able to not perform like and it's like they can be massively like healing for a man to fully not perform at all and just receive, yeah. Right, yeah. I get that because it's been under the guise of performance most of his life, yeah. Like it can be an initiation of man into Tantra entirely to just be like, whoa, I didn't even know this was possible to fully receive. And when I'm saying receiving, it's like in a very intentional, not like a right fast, like, oh, like what told him about alcohol zonky sex, you know, like yeah, and I'm gonna be over and done, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 1:12:52

Yeah, yeah, like a massage or that's what I'm referring to, where the mind can fully like receive.

SPEAKER_02: 1:13:01

Yeah. So that again, you know, there's just a lot, there's a lot of play, a lot of artistry in involved.

SPEAKER_01: 1:13:07

So, what are some key takeaways that listeners can use right now, between now and that first workshop, or you know, or your intro, what you're calling the polarity lab?

SPEAKER_00: 1:13:20

I mean, for me, the thing that I tell guys constantly is when you're interacting with your partner and she is in an emotional state, whatever the flavor, she's feeling sad, she's feeling angry, she's feeling anxious, she's worried, breathe. Just breathe and don't say anything. That is my because as soon as we start talking, we're trying to fix it, you know, and so real, and so for me, it's like, or if you're gonna say anything, don't ask what's wrong, or you know, for me well, the question I always ask is, what are you feeling? Like, what's the flavor? And then where? And is it moving? Like for me, I'm trying to be more aware of her body and where she's holding the emotion. Is it in her stomach? Is it in her chest? Is it in her head? Um, and then just breathing deep into my belly. And when I do that, I can sit and even if she's anxious about me or angry at me, I don't have to take the emotion on. I can truly he, you know, let her feeling exist. And then it'll it it creates a different sort of understanding of where that came from and then maybe what she needs. And so just breathing through that, and it's so it's so valuable for the feminine partner to feel felt, and that you're not trying to fix it right away, you know, or change it, or or tell her that the her feelings aren't valid because X, Y, and Z.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15:12

I think that's like probably the most like uh charge thing for a woman to hear is like my feelings are not valid. Like it's like, well, I'm feeling them like like this most valid thing that I can experience as a woman. Like it, like I know that having done this work, that to be invalidated my feelings is like it's like the most charge trigger thing that I could experience. Cause then it's like the crazy woman, like right. You like come off as like, well, you're hysterical, you're crazy. Like you just thought, like, you're like, there's nothing worse than being told you're crazy, which I've been told. But you know, it's like you're crazy, you're off the hook. Like, because we're coming from such powerful hormonal shifts of our physio, I mean, on the energetic as well as physiological level.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:01

I see now, it's not all the time, but often when a woman's not you know, not feeling safe or allowed to really feel the emotion, it will get more amplified. Well, and it and then it transmutes into anger or like anxiety, fear, and like it really may just be some hysterical.

SPEAKER_02: 1:16:18

Yeah. Because it's like, okay, like it can't be metabolized. And if it's not metabolized, it gets more into that like hysteria energy or like more amplified, I would say.

SPEAKER_00: 1:16:28

I try for for me, as I have more awareness of this now, I try to appreciate all of the feminine energy and power and beauty that's there because the same intensity that can become the anger or the sadness, you know, that can also be passion in the bedroom and passion for life. And it can be passion for me and what I'm doing in my life outside of the dynamic. Oh, wow, it's amazing. You're writing this book, and I can feel this energy from my partner that inspires me, and I'm more on point. So, like, there's just this.

SPEAKER_02: 1:17:06

Well, yeah, the feminine, I mean, that that's such a beautiful point. The feminine can just fuel so much passion in a man. I mean, I feel like I feel like that's what this work has done for me and thinking about like my partner when I bring my full femininity to the table. I mean, I've seen my partner just like take leaps and strides, like in amazing ways. Like, wow, it's like like in the bed, you were talking about the bedroom. It's like, oh my God, the next day and best golf game ever. Like the next day, like literally like finished massive projects, you know, and like, and then for the feminine, like that creative energy can just be so fully expressed. As you know, Elizabeth, we talk about this all the time, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17:45

It's it's the feminine is a I mean, it's really bottomless source of energy, love. And so allowing women to comfortably tap into that and feel that, you know, all of a sudden now they're not as tired, right, as they were. And then if they're doing the other stuff we do with the patients and clients we work with, changing their health and their sleep and their nutrition, it's just it's win-win-win.

SPEAKER_01: 1:18:11

Yeah. So, okay, so the workshop is October 19th. I'm gonna need links so all the uh audience knows where to find you, how they can follow you, any um tools, tips, future events, where is all that going to be located? Do they register or can you just show up? I'm assuming you probably want registrations either way, but then you have the three-day event, and then you also have the October 19th event. I know one's right, November. And that's gonna be more intensive, right? You're gonna expand on the little intro from October 19th. But we're not getting into the sex there, right? We're just getting into just understanding these energies and how to cultivate more polarity.

SPEAKER_02: 1:18:56

Yeah, so if this is intimidating, it's not intimidating because we're not gonna get into that. We'll we're talking about doing one like Valentine's weekend where we can get more into like the sensual dynamic stuff, yeah. But this is non-intimidating, clothed, yeah, conversation. Yeah, like yeah, nothing, nothing um that wouldn't be comfortable for anybody, but like, yeah, this is just really exploring the polarity.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19:19

Okay. And um, the registration links are already available. They will be when the sayers. Um, is there anything else that you want to add before we conclude?

SPEAKER_00: 1:19:33

I'm just grateful, Elizabeth, for you, yeah, for you giving us this opportunity to kind of share this. We're really excited. We've known each other for a long time, but this was a really exciting collaboration and connections.

SPEAKER_02: 1:19:44

Yeah, because like when I was a former patient of Dr. Swans back, like I can't even remember how long it was ago, but I remember even in my intake with Dr. Swans, um, he had asked me, like, it was part of his intake, like what my libido was. And I remember being like zero to one. Like, you know, I was one of those people. I was literally like one of these people that just was so checked out with my polarity and everything. I had no idea.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20:10

Yeah, and I think, you know, I don't know. I think that that that's an important question, along with how is your relationship when you're looking at somebody's holistic health, because you know, the individuals in our in in our in our lives do influence right. And we have to take responsibility. We're not victims, but they can influence, you know, the way things um feel or, you know, if you know, stressors, pressures that we may or may not feel, and and this can impact, you know, have an overall impact on on us as an individual. And there's usually a ripple effect there, you know, potentially down to the children and so forth. And so, you know, I think it's important to look at and you know, when I think it poses on all corners of our beingness, frankly.

SPEAKER_02: 1:20:56

I mean, like you were saying, like he that's why he says, you know, in the bedroom, it's like out of the bed. It literally carries into every aspect of it.

SPEAKER_01: 1:21:02

Yeah, absolutely. Um, well, I'm so glad to have you guys with me today. Thank you. This is like one of my favorite new topics, you know. Um Well, I just, you know, I know you sent me that Charlie Kirk video, and I know there's gonna, if I posted it, I didn't, but I wanted to repost it because the message is me, yeah. You know, he talked about he was talking to that gentleman about toxic masculinity and toxic femininity and how you don't hear the word toxic femininity ever in mainstream media, but you hear toxic masculinity all over the place, right? And then he also had a very strong message about male men rising up to be leaders. Like, where are you taking her? Like, if you don't have a direction on where you're going with the woman that you're dating, if you're sitting around and what if he said something like investing in crypto, and that I mean, that might be a great way to make some money. I mean, you know, and you're playing video games, but you have no idea where you're taking her. I mean, it can start simple. You pick the restaurant, and we talked about that last time. Like, make a simple decision that she doesn't have to make and just start making more of those little decisions, and then the bigger decisions become easier, I think, right? To to step into that. But like, you got to have some sort of path. Like, where are you taking? Because if she doesn't know where she's going, she's not going.

SPEAKER_03: 1:22:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:27

Or she's going like begrudgingly and loses her trust and respect.

SPEAKER_02: 1:22:32

Yeah. Ultimately, if she doesn't know where the compass is headed, the direction is, then she loses her trust and respect. Yeah. And that's that's what the guys do need to know. Because he was talking about, you know, why do this as a man?

SPEAKER_01: 1:22:46

Yeah. Yeah. Right. And and and if they can if men could really understand that, I think too. Like I think it it's both sides, right? Both sides can learn. Right. I mean, you can't do this without. Do you all feel that really quick that uh it can be done if just one person is working on stepping into their role? Or do you think both people, or do you think one person can shift the other without you know, like the Alamon is like, okay, if you make changes, everyone else around you also has to change.

SPEAKER_02: 1:23:14

I think that you it's a dance. I think it's definitely a dance. So if you have a partner who's not coming to the dance, I think that's where people end up going their own way. It's like I'm here showing up for the dance. Can you dance with me? And if the person's not willing to dance, then there is a crossroads. But if the person's willing to dance and you're showing up fully for the dance, then I think they'll meet you. If they're a good, caring, quality person, I think a lot of relationships can be salvaged and saved because, you know, once you get into a place where there's a desire on both sides, then sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 1:23:51

Yeah. I thought I mean I I uh David Snark, the book Passionate Marriage, he talks about like, you know, we're not in the same boat in our relationships. We're in two boats and we're hoping we're heading in the same direction. I love that. And so I think one person can make changes, and sometimes you might have to like tie the other boat on and drag them along for a little bit till they want to start paddling. But if if we can see the destination in the future, it can start to be worth it. And you know, I mean learning it and applying it are different, yeah. And and and so the you know, it's it's almost it again, it's more of the creative kind of the it's not it's a game, but it's not a game to play with these energies in real life, and so kind of what we're gonna be, I guess, in some ways talking about are like some of the rules and the parameters and like the board that this game is played on, right? Yeah, yeah. But then in the moment, it's not fun or sexy to be like, oh, you're in your feminine, and you know, right, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 1:24:59

Elizabeth, you and I have talked about this several times, but I've said I think one of my soul's jobs, like because I've been through this myself, is I've always thought once I learned this, like I'm gonna help couples have like magnetic, like amazing relationships, or I will get people will give themselves permission to move on because there are times when it's really holding somebody's somebody back in a major way. That's the the unhealthiness of the relationship is such that it's best for their soul to move on. Um, I don't want to say that because I'm I'm a big believer in healing and growing, and my ultimate desire is that this transforms people to come closer together. But I think there are times when it's best for someone to, for their own sake, to move on for their own health and wellness and for their own soul.

SPEAKER_01: 1:25:51

Um, really quick, I know I keep having these questions. I wanted to ask you, uh, Peter. So for for men, and this often seems to be a complaint, is that women nag or are critical. Um and how they hear what their wife or their spouse, their feminine partner is saying comes across across as criticism, although that is not the intention of the spouse. Um, do you how do you do you what what do you what kind of insights do you have around that?

SPEAKER_00: 1:26:30

I mean, I do think there's I it's it is typical, and I think it can it can be rough on a guy. I mean, it can beat a guy down over time. Um, but I also though think when there's truly an emotion for the woman behind that, you know, what she's saying is her trying to convey the feeling in some way. And so if you can tap into the feeling and and connect with her, then again, she's gonna feel felt and and and then maybe won't be as critical about it. But it's also like, you know, I mean, sometimes people just complain about your driving, you know, all the time. And it's like, I'm not a bad driver, you're an anxious passenger. Like that's you know, well, that's why it's an art form, right?

SPEAKER_02: 1:27:23

That's why I think it's good for the workshop. That's like there's a whole, I mean, we could just spend a whole tiny thing.

SPEAKER_01: 1:27:31

Yeah, because I feel like um you get these other little questions. Well, what if, what if, you know, and and I know that that this workshop is is designed to help couples navigate some of these daily mundane things, right? From this new um polarity dynamic, this new space.

SPEAKER_02: 1:27:52

It's like you're in this boat, and then like, okay, it's like if we're if you think about the workshops, like, okay, you're both in this boat, and how do you learn how to sail it? Like, you gotta sail your boat, that person's gotta sail their boat, you gotta go on this journey together. Yeah, but let's go to the workshop and figure out how we're gonna sail the boat, right?

SPEAKER_01: 1:28:09

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. All right, guys. Well, it's been a pleasure. You all have a great Wednesday, okay?

SPEAKER_00: 1:28:15

Thank you. Come come see us.

SPEAKER_01: 1:28:17

We will. We'll be there on uh October 19th, okay? Okay, okay.