The Masters Athlete Survival Guide
We explore thriving as an athlete after 40. Each episode, we’ll dive into tips, hacks, and inspiring stories from seasoned athletes and our personal experience. Whether you’re a weekend warrior or a competitive pro, this podcast is your playbook for staying fit, strong, and motivated
The Masters Athlete Survival Guide
Protein Bars: A Taste-Test Journey
Ever wonder if your go-to protein bar is secretly a sugar trap? Join us as we promise to uncover the truth behind these so-called health snacks. Scott Fike and I, John Katalinas, embark on a spirited taste-test journey through the colorful world of protein bars. From Gorilla Bar to Built Puff Bars and even meat-based options, we critique the good, the bad, and the sugary pitfalls. With Scott's emphasis on taste and dietary restrictions and my scientific approach focusing on protein and carbs, our candid discussions are packed with humor and insightful banter that will leave you questioning your own protein bar choices.
Our exploration doesn't stop with conventional flavors. We indulge in the more unusual offerings from Legendary Foods, which invoke nostalgic memories of pop tarts and cinnamon rolls, and the exciting flavors from One Bar, like blueberry cobbler and maple donut. The conversation gets heated over the Pure Protein chocolate peanut butter caramel bar, as we debate its candy-bar-like taste despite its impressive macros. From plant-based options like No Cow's Chocolate Fudge Brownie to the gold-standard Quest bars, we analyze the balance between taste, nutritional value, and availability, all in the pursuit of the perfect protein snack.
Finally, we invite you to weigh in on our protein bar adventures. Whether you're a fitness enthusiast or simply a snack lover, we want to hear your recommendations and critiques as we wrap up our taste-test quest. Let's connect on social media to continue the conversation, share your thoughts, and maybe even discover the next big thing in protein bars. Thanks for joining us, and remember to stay active, curious, and always on the lookout for a better bar!
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New episodes come out every other Thursday!
Welcome to the Master's Athlete Survival Guide, where we explore the secrets to thriving in sports after 40. I'm John Catalinas and, along with Scott Fyke, we'll dive into training tips, nutrition hacks and inspiring stories from seasoned athletes who defy age limits. Whether you're a weekend warrior or a competitive pro, this podcast is your playbook for staying fit, strong and motivated. Let's get started and we're back. Hi everybody.
Speaker 1:Today's episode is going to be fun Well, fun for us. You guys can just sit on the sidelines and do whatever Eat Cheetos, still not a sponsor. So what I have decided and I was inspired by something I read somewhere, but we are going to evaluate protein bars today, so we have more than several here in Aurora Studios I set up. I guess our criteria was a little bit like Scott came rolling in saying I bought things that I could eat, so it's basically high, high protein, low sugar. Um, I went to my local vitamin store. I don't know if you have vitamin stores. If you do, that's where mine came from for the most part, other than karen gave me a few to do a add to the list, shout out to karen.
Speaker 2:Well, I can tell you that I did not go to my local vitamin store I went to wegmans, which if you're not familiar with western new york or rochester area, it is a mega just grocery store. They'll have just about anything. There did walk in and a little bit different than john I. I had some very strict criteria. I had to be able to eat it. So, yeah, no, not a lot of sugar, relatively high protein and some of these things I've had before, so a lot of taste.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I had criteria.
Speaker 2:My criteria was more scientific-based than yours.
Speaker 1:Mine was above 15 grams of protein per bar and below 4 grams of uh carbs, which is mostly in the fit of added sugar. And uh, I made a list. Did you check it twice? Oh boy, it's gonna be a long episode. Um, no, I made a list of things with um too much sugar in them. I would consider these protein candy bars. These are just the things that were sitting at the vitamin store that just had too much sugar in them for to be considered for this little taste test. They include and this is not all of them in the world a gorilla bar, mre bar, the built puff bars.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I saw those Wegmans, those they looked, the presentation was nice, but damn, it was a candy bar.
Speaker 1:I've had the built puff ones, but I got to tell you, do you remember Kix cereal? Yeah, that's the consistent like a bad protein bar melted over Kix cereal. There you go.
Speaker 2:Just give me some milk and I think I'm five years old again.
Speaker 1:I don't think this is pronounced plant, but it might be P-L-N-T. It's 100% organic vegan protein bar Tons of sugar.
Speaker 2:There was one I saw and I was tempted to buy it, but looked like like reddish spackle but it was meat. Oh yeah, there was exactly. There was no, or next to no, carbs, so they probably sprinkled something or put some like a fruit additive to it or something, but it almost looked like jerky. But it was like two inches wide. It was three, four inches long, maybe five inches long stop, and it literally was.
Speaker 1:It was meat based I've seen those, those, those are. I think they're epic bars, something like that. Yeah, because the one I think I tried, the one you're talking about, which is a bison cranberry yes, that was one of them.
Speaker 2:And then there was a chicken, sriracha, pineapple or something. Oh my jesus freaking hawaiian pizza.
Speaker 1:No, I've had them and they probably, they probably serve some function, but yeah, um. And then there's a couple more on my too much sugar list the belly well bar the power, power crunch. Some of them hold up.
Speaker 2:I'm on the field.
Speaker 1:Yes, sir, the belly crunch bar.
Speaker 2:No, the belly Well, oh, the belly Well bar. I'm sorry, I combined a couple of them. He did the belly Well bar? Yes, is a protein bar and they have this oh so healthy name on it Right and it's a candy bar, basically yeah, and it was.
Speaker 1:It's like oh, it's super probiotic and and maybe it is, and you don't have sugar is not your concern.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I mean, I don't care. Diabetic, pre-diabetic, not diabetic whatsoever, you got to watch out for sugar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you really have to, and I don't know what your relationship with protein bars is. Mine is, you know, as a field environmental scientist, I usually have one of these buried somewhere in the bottom of my computer bag, just as sort of disaster food when I'm out somewhere in the field.
Speaker 2:I will have one or two or three of these Well, a lot of these when we go to shows, when we go to competitions, you know we'll have them in that backpack we carry around.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some of them we're trying today, yeah, and I would love to have sort of the satiety like score on these. I know big word um, but it's impractical because we have a billion of them here on on on the studio table maybe not a billion, maybe not a billion.
Speaker 1:Some of them just aren't as filling as others, and I don't know what that is from. I don't know if the higher protein ones are or not, but I don't know. Maybe that's a future episode. Anyway, you want to eat a protein bar with me? Yes, okay, what? No, what did that sound weird? Yes, did it?
Speaker 1:really bad I don't want to do it like lady and the tramp, where we both start on either end of the bar or anything ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to let you know that at this point, we may be splitting up just so everybody at home knows, what I did is I took my kitchen scale and I cut a 50 gram, I believe, square of several of the bars and cut them into halves.
Speaker 1:So Scott and I are tasting the same thing and anything that had any something stirred through it like a nut or a sprinkle, I probably took the second cut just to not be at the end. Pick your favorite, or pick your favorite, or pick your start, or pick your something, and let's go. Well, I know my favorite because, oh, that's cheating.
Speaker 2:We've had some of these before and the quest, you know, chocolate, cherry, raspberry bar is that what it's called.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but if you're going to do this review thing, sir, I hope you would take it seriously. I don't believe it's the chocolate.
Speaker 2:White chocolate, raspberry.
Speaker 1:Thank you and let me give you your portion Cheers Salt. Dink.
Speaker 2:These things, if they're, oh.
Speaker 1:I think there should be a trigger warning on this one, because I'm going to try to chew away from the microphone. But if chewing is a problem for you, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:All right. So I think the first thing we do, yeah, say where it's from, what it is, give some of the specs of it. This is Quest Protein Bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:White chocolate raspberry 20 grams of protein, four net carbs per serving, which is basically a full bar, and one gram of sugar. Now I'm going to let John go first on this, because I have some very solid opinions on this one, for reasons I think it's a reasonable chew.
Speaker 1:There's sort of a spectrum for protein bars, from the ones that are kind of weirdly rubbery, gummy to ones that are very cake like this is. This has got a decent chew. It's got a great flavor. It does not have a protein aftertaste, which is another like hurdle for me with some of these big fan. I give it a solid eight out of ten let me see.
Speaker 2:you said that protein aftertaste and with masters athletes, I mean, we're all there. We remember when we were kids back in the 60s, 70s, 80s, whatever our time frame was, and that protein aftertaste, those old protein powders, oh, it was like you were eating chalk, yeah, and I'm like this is a cookies and cream protein bar and it's got chocolate on top of it and you taste it and you're like what the frog did I just put in my mouth? Did you just say what the frog? Well, you don't like when I say fuck.
Speaker 1:No, but I like that I might adopt what the frog. I like it.
Speaker 2:So ultimately, for whatever reason, when I started changing my diet a couple of years ago, somebody said, scott, you got to try the Quest bar. So I grabbed them and there were a bunch of them. And then one point I think I was out somewhere at a competition and I saw this white chocolate raspberry. I'm like, I love raspberry. White chocolate's got a cool taste to it and I'll tell you quite honestly I will buy the like. When you go to a store and you see the pack that's got all the individual bars in it, I'll buy one of those cases. Oh yeah, and we just did that at the last comp we're at, we just we're out in Colorado.
Speaker 2:I buy these things all the time and quite often for me, if I don't have time to make breakfast, I will grab two of these and I make a very specific shake that I have for breakfast and, like when I'm driving to work, I'll have two of those for breakfast. For you know, when I'm driving in, I love the taste. That raspberry taste gets rid or hides maybe some of the aftertaste that you might normally get from a protein bar. It is if you get them when they are fresh. And I know you're saying, well, now they're in a package. That's all preservatives. I get that, but some of these things sometimes can wait or sit for a long time. There is a good texture to it. It is chewy in a good way. I absolutely love these bars. You said 8 out of 10? Yeah, I'm really heading more towards a 9 out of 10. Nice, okay.
Speaker 1:You just glanced upon something. I was thinking about as I was opening these and cutting these and they're in different states of freshness looking and I I think this is one of those things that do.
Speaker 2:I don't say they expire, but if there was a way to determine how fresh they were as you're buying them like, pay attention to that well, I'm one of those old guys that when I go to the store I will actually reach in, and as I reach in to grab one, I might squeeze it a little bit, and I know that sounds goofy weird. If it has some mushiness to it, I'm gonna buy that bar. Oh, and I'm the one that buys deals like I buy the 50 off squeezed protein bar. So thank you.
Speaker 1:You're welcome. All right, I'm going to pick one that I've never heard of before the Bearbells. I believe. This is Banana Choco Never heard before, never had the brand, I don't believe.
Speaker 2:Mark talked about this today when we were in the gym.
Speaker 1:Okay, chewing away from the microphone as much as I can. Banana-like Definitely fake banana. Bananas, I don't know. I think most banana that isn't real banana tastes like fake banana.
Speaker 2:This has more of that old school protein bar taste. Yeah, the texture is a little off the the not a big fan.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I'm more in that three to four range with this one. Yeah, maybe four to five. I'll give you that. It is not the quest bar. The quest bar is my King.
Speaker 1:Does it say and yeah, we probably shouldn't have started with your homecoming queen, because everybody else is going to pale in comparison. Does it say how much protein it?
Speaker 2:is this? One has 16 grams of protein, okay. Net carbs, seven net carbs, oh. Two grams of sugar oh.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:That's something.
Speaker 1:Man, I've been trying to do a lot of research lately citizen scientist research on grams of protein per meal. There's a thing out there that some people say you should only ingest so much grams per protein per meal. I don't know where I fall on that. I'm sure every meal I have is probably higher than that. But no, I'm just thinking like if you were to down two bars, you know, 40 grams, I don't know.
Speaker 2:All right. Next, you are preaching to the wrong choir there, the amount of protein. I have in a meal.
Speaker 1:I know, but maybe you're doing it wrong.
Speaker 2:No, I'm not.
Speaker 1:I'm great you have no idea.
Speaker 2:Yes, I do. Okay, All right. So pure protein. This is the chocolate peanut butter caramel bar 20 grams of protein, Two grams of sugar and I'm going to give this one looks like about seven net carbs no, I hate these.
Speaker 1:I buy these all the time. This bar is actually out of my own cupboard. Um, I hate these that they're like everything that's wrong with protein. They taste like an extremely expired Snickers bar, or no. What's a three musketeers that? That weird nougat thing in the middle. All right, yeah, I hate them. I buy them all the time. You're an idiot.
Speaker 1:Well they're readily available, they're not expensive, they have good macros, you know. The other thing is that when I'm eating protein bars, I'm not eating them for taste necessarily, or I would probably default to some of the more candy-like I get that, but it can't taste bad.
Speaker 2:And to me remember how I said Bear Bells was like a three or a four. Yeah, this falls to a one or two.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I am not a fan of this. They're horrible. I have a lot of them if you'd like to take some home though yeah, thank you no uh, okay, you know I need a break from those and we have so many to try. But let's talk about this. Legendary foods brand things and we are. We will not be tasting these today, mostly because I don't own a microwave but, scott and I came across them at the arnold. At the arnold they had a booth and they have. Um, I wouldn't even call them protein bars.
Speaker 1:They're protein baked goods in a bag yeah, they're like there were like nine different pop tarts I yeah very pop tardy, except for the thing I have in front of me, which is a they call it their protein sweet roll. It's a cinnamon flavored.
Speaker 2:Now they have the chocolate version of that too, do they? And a candy version. Okay, go ahead. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no, no, you, you. You love these more than I do, but I got to tell you of everything we're going to taste these today.
Speaker 2:But if you were to throw these, like they recommend, in the microwave for 10 seconds so that they're warm, these are outstanding oh, without a doubt, probably hands down my favorite protein snack, shall we say, because you know, yeah, you could do cheese and pepper or something like that, but we're talking about things that I mean. When you say protein bar, you're thinking some sort of a candy bar type of thing, something you can grab and walk down the street with. You can do the same thing with these. It's a little bit harder because, like you said, you want them heated up. But I tell you, like I'll take them to work with me. If I know I've got a long meeting, I'll flip teams off real quick. I'll chow down on one of these.
Speaker 2:They're not terrible cold either If you terrible cold, either if you're working with scott and he like says oh, I have some audio visual problems. He's eating. I have a student coming in to talk to me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah excuse me, I need to go off camera for a minute. Ignore the chewing. No, these are great and I think you know, I think, the role of these legendary foods things. If you're listening to us and you and we've inspired the two of you to get off the couch and you're also trying to do something with your diet there's three now. Oh, uh, if you're looking to transition from I really need a sweet snack to I really want a healthy, purposeful snack, I don't think I can read like recommend legendary food stuff enough they're not inexpensive, they're not, they're they're a little costly.
Speaker 1:Does that help you? That helps me, I think. If they were 99 cents I'd eat six of them yeah, but I also like I'll use these.
Speaker 2:I just finished dinner and I need something that's a little sweet. Yeah, I'll use these like I'll. I'll grab one of these pop tarts. I'll grab one of the. I mean, it looks like a cinnamon roll and it tastes like a cinnamon roll. There is a ton of cinnamon in these things does.
Speaker 1:Does everybody hear the passion in scott's voice when he talks about these? I like food I know yeah I know, but here's the guy who eats no sweets and he's like oh, they're so good, all right, we're gonna move on. Uh, I picked that, you're next pick something. This is like protein bar roulette.
Speaker 2:You know what? Let's go with the one, bar the one.
Speaker 1:The one, okay, okay, I think we have two flavors. We do we have maple, and these come recommended too. So these are Karen's recommended, or the other one is Go blueberry, go blueberry, go blueberry Because I think is go blueberry, blueberry because I think blueberry has that anti-accident whole thing going for it, cheers cheers. I'm looking for your. You give me your. Uh, I've had these before, by the way.
Speaker 2:I'll just say give me your review on them, because I'm biased, all right, like we said, one bar blueberry cobbler, 20 grams of protein, one gram of sugar and if this wasn't like size, negative six font give you an idea of the net carbs and mind you, I'm wearing my old I was gonna say he's wearing reading glasses while he's doing this.
Speaker 2:I've had these before. Yeah, and if I can't find a Quest bar, these are what I'll go to. Okay, blueberry cobbler. When I was eating, whatever I could get my hands on, I loved blueberry cobbler. Oh, there you go. You know that. Throw some ice cream on it. Oh, my God, this. I think certain tastes do well in protein bars.
Speaker 1:That's why you see a lot of peanut butter.
Speaker 2:You see a lot of chocolate A lot of nut type of things in what you're doing, but blueberry does transition well and blueberry is one of those things that when you do an artificial taste or flavor for blueberry, it's usually pretty good. So I like this good. So I like this. Yeah, this to me if quest is like an eight or a nine. This to me is a seven or an eight, depending on the flavor. I think what we do get your opinion and then we go right to the other okay one maple donut one yeah yeah, again, I have a predisposition to these.
Speaker 1:Uh, karen gave me this, basically when I was telling her that bars are, um, you know, great. Um, it's not faux tasting at all, it's got a good texture, it's got decent macros. I would tie it with the quest If I gave the quest an eight. This is an eight we should have an elimination tournament to the death.
Speaker 2:But um, the winner gets the legendary cinnamon bun. Now he comes up with that. Great, I'm closer to the door, by the way, so I will win, that's true, so I.
Speaker 1:I recommend highly the uh one bar blueberry, but we're gonna move on to another flavor. I don't know how I did with flavors, but we're going to do the maple. What is this one called? Can you read that?
Speaker 2:maple glazed donut maple glazed donut exact same thing. 20 grams protein, one gram of sugar and, for whatever reason, this one is legibles nine net carbs. That's actually kind of high for these things, yeah, but a lot of this, I think, falls into when you look at the wrappers. They'll tell you you know, fiber, sugar, sugar, alcohols, that sort of other right fiber or that other carb stuff. That, yeah, it's, I don't know.
Speaker 1:All right, you talk, I'll talk um, I got one word for this review waffles. This comes across like waffles. It's got a waffle-ish kind of texture. It definitely has a waffle taste with maple syrup on it. This is definitely another winning flavor. Big fan definitely would give it that same kind of eight kind of review. Uh, I'll agree with you on that one.
Speaker 1:No, this is better than the blueberry cutler no aftertaste, um, I guess, if anything, and the aftertaste is sweet. So I mean, if you were really hurting for something sweet and you could bring yourself to eat these slow, um well, because that's hard with this bar stuff too, you know three bites and you're done if you, you know, if you're not paying attention well, if you were dainty like me.
Speaker 1:Four or if you're what, what I almost said it, what I almost said it, great, but yeah, so the one maple glazed donut. Maybe we should just do yes or no. That's a yes.
Speaker 2:That's a yes for me.
Speaker 1:I would buy that Anything else I don't know, it's my turn. How about Super Gut, the gut-healthy probiotic bar? I've been looking at that. I've never heard. I have not either. It is lower in protein. I'll look because, my co-host is blind. It has 10 grams of fiber, 10 grams of protein, 1 of protein one gram. You read that what do you want me to read? I can read all of this. You need new glasses.
Speaker 1:You're a jackass I know um, yeah, just so you know. From the the one blueberry there's five grams of sugar alcohols.
Speaker 2:Some people have problems with sugar alcohols yeah, if you have a problem with sugar, alcohol, a lot of these are not going to be helpful for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my girlfriend karen has struggles with, uh, sugar alcohols too. I don't know, I do and I don't. I think there's probably some threshold above which, see, I don't you don't I don't at all oh, okay and that's helpful for me. You should have bought that bison cranberry thing on they're. It's gross. So where are we? Where are we on the super gut prebiotic bar? Sorry, chocolate brownie flavored, clinically proven. Oh, I'm chewing in the microphone, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:Go ahead, there's a little bit of an aftertaste to it, but I gotta tell you it's weirdly. I'd say yes, and with the facial reaction that you're not seeing from John, because the visual of our auto visual at Aurora Studios is still under construction, I'm thinking John's going to say no.
Speaker 1:No, I am going to say here's where I am on this when you go to Dairy Queen and you get a birthday cake and it's got those black crunchy things in between the layers, oh, yeah. It's kind of got that texture and flavor a little bit. It's sort of that ashy oreo cookie crumbly thing yeah, yes, and you know what?
Speaker 2:yeah, a lot of the things. When you get protein bars, you don't get that crunch right this is that crunch that you have on the brownies that have. You know they're not quite moist and they've got that little bit of crunch left in them because they've been sitting in the oven maybe a little too long type of thing. That to me that's little kid type of candy.
Speaker 1:But you know the macros are fine yeah, there's a brand out there called I don't think either was bought at um power crunch and it's more of a wafer cookie um, like those chocolate, vanilla, strawberry wafer cookies. They used to get back in the day for like a dollar um with stuff in between them that has a crunch but that also has a lot of sugar. So we avoid that. The um super gut gut healthy probiotic bar.
Speaker 1:Prebiotic bar I apologize in chocolate brownie. I think that's a. Yes, that's surprisingly delicious. I'm a big fan. Scott, where do you want to go next?
Speaker 2:Right below Is that.
Speaker 1:El Nye Elani Elani. I think that somehow that's a Kardashian brand. Maybe I might have to pass on it then wow, wow what do you? Got a little harsh on my pipe a little bit. This has got stuff through it like this looks like this is like a nut bar kind of deal alani protein bar.
Speaker 2:Munchies is what this is. Okay, we have 15 grams of protein, 3 grams of sugar and a whopping 17 total net carbs. Oh you lion sack of poopy. Whoa, this is a candy bar. It's a good thing that we're only eating one.
Speaker 1:Is this even an eighth? This might not even be an eighth of a bar. No, I don't think so. Cheers. Welcome to candy. Welcome to candy. Initial reaction not worth the extra sugar. The body of the bar in amongst this stuff is on par with the pure protein. It's like you took the pure protein bar and mixed in some.
Speaker 2:Crunchy nuts or something.
Speaker 1:I don't even know that they're nuts, but there's some sort of crunchy oat thing. Oh, nah, fam yeah that's a no, oh, that's a hard no for me, that's a no. Oh, it keeps coming. That's got all sorts of aftertastes, yuck, yuck. Okay. So the alani protein bar munchies, uh is a no, that's a hard no.
Speaker 2:All right, I chose that one.
Speaker 1:Can we go back, since we have another flavor? How about the quest bar?
Speaker 2:oh, this is another good one.
Speaker 1:This one is almost candy bar what do you guys think of the passion in scott's voice when you talk about quest protein bars?
Speaker 2:oh, my god, quest protein bar birthday cake. 20 grams of protein, four net carbs, less than one gram of sugar. The thing I love about these is when you open a regular quest bar. Yeah, it doesn't. It just looks like a protein bar. It's got great taste to it. Just looks like a protein bar. It's got great taste to it, but it looks like a protein bar. You open this one, take the whole wrapper off. It looks like it's a frosted birthday cake Little sprinkles on it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I cut the end off this one, so it's a little boring. I apologize, you're not getting that full-on birthday experience.
Speaker 2:Cheers.
Speaker 1:Jackass Cheers. Yeah, I like these. How's that for my scientific review? Yeah, I like this Very cake. Same consistency as the raspberry. They basically must make the same protein substrate and just stir fixins through it, right.
Speaker 2:I think that's 100% what it it is. You're eating the same thing, it's just what flavor are they dumping on top?
Speaker 1:yeah, same mac. Is it the same macros? Yeah, so it's personal choice. Given the sophie's choice of choosing between them, I would choose the raspberry, I think. What a really bad reference.
Speaker 2:Why I?
Speaker 1:don't know One of the one of the bars I have to save the other one, I can't.
Speaker 2:All right. While John is shamelessly gurgling water into the microphone, yeah, sorry. I will tell you that quest bars also come in like oatmeal raisin cookie flavor, chocolate chip cookie flavor. Like chocolate chocolate chip flavor peanut butter flavor. So if you want to mix it up, you have that ability. But again, they're not very um wallet friendly at times.
Speaker 1:Yeah, those things are running about three bucks. Yeah, none of them are. They're all north of 250 a bar. They're not big really your choice.
Speaker 2:and um, we got some pretty slim pickings left for what's been cut up, so we may have to break into some of the other things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well there's a couple of the ones we haven't opened that I'm interested in as well, but the one thing I was going to say is what a weird world we live in. There's a whole aisle in our local grocery store of protein bars.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, a whole aisle 100%. You walk into any large fitness nutrition type of thing like GNC, general Nutrition stuff like that. There's a wall of this stuff and they'll sell everything from an individual bar to the boxes that supermarkets buy and put on the shelves.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's just crazy, Because you made me think of that when you were talking about all the flavors. Not only are there a lot of manufacturers, each manufacturer has a lot of flavors 100% so there's probably money behind all this. What's that one? Let's go with that one.
Speaker 2:This is Fit Factor Chocolate Strawberry High Protein Bar. It has nine net carbs, 15 grams of fiber Damn Four grams of sugar, doesn't oh? And 20 grams of protein. There we go. Couldn't see it for a hot second.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't understand and I tried to pay attention and maybe that's just what was offered in the store, but I didn't see anything north of 20 grams of protein. Uh, I will. I will narrate as scott, scowls and winces. Um, I don't even think he ate.
Speaker 2:He took half a bite scott tell us about your, tell us about your journey. That's about 10 grams of that bar.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That, to me, is what we had when we were children. Oh it's super fake Mm-hmm, mm, and the strawberry taste is horrific.
Speaker 1:No, it's great if this was bubble gum.
Speaker 2:Oh oh, john and I have this passion for sending memes to each other, and I'm sure you've all seen the one with the little kid.
Speaker 1:Wait, can we back up? When you say send to each other, you mean you send to me and all the guys in our group.
Speaker 2:okay, go ahead, continue this little kid who sits in his car seat and you know something serious comes on and they say something and this little kid goes a bullshit. Yeah, that's what I say to that bar.
Speaker 1:That is scott's favorite thing, by the way.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry In real life.
Speaker 1:He says, yeah, that was terrible. We need to highlight that one because that might be the low, other than pure protein, which is not, which is utilitarian at best. What was this one?
Speaker 2:I would make that sub pure protein. Yeah, I would too. I really would. I would too, because I can't finish it, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:No, you don't have to. It's not like Catholic school lunch or anything. I'll leave that for you. To finish that bar, I'll get a dog just so I can feed it to the dog I could vanish at home. There you go, I'm sure vanish will eat anything. Yeah, pure protein is probably like if this was the pH scale, pure protein would be zero, it would be the center. It would just be as basic and simple and not flavorful and not offensive. And this one we just tried. What is this one is offensive. This is called.
Speaker 2:Fit Factor.
Speaker 1:Yeah, fit.
Speaker 2:Factor, chocolate strawberry is offensive and I apologize for all of you out there that, like that John is. Um, John was a little abrupt when he says these things.
Speaker 1:I, I, on the other hand, and oh you think that you think we're going to get a lot of hate mail from the fit factor, uh fan base them. And the Cheetos people? The Cheetos people, that's them too. Uh uh, no. No, you know where I want to go. I want to do that. The no cow, yeah is that vegan?
Speaker 2:is that the?
Speaker 1:deal. Follow the revolution. No cow plant protein is vegan. Yep dairy free 20 grams of plant protein, a gram of sugar, four grams of nut carbs. This is the chocolate fudge brownie flavor. I apologize, I didn't open it ahead of time.
Speaker 2:I have no idea how it tastes.
Speaker 1:You're going to get some crinkling Scott's ripping off a piece. Is Scott going to give me a piece of his piece? I'm giving you a piece of my piece, okay.
Speaker 2:Here we go.
Speaker 1:You know, let's take a moment to talk about plant protein. Oh, um, pea protein, whatever protein I I'll weigh, protein I'll eat. Yeah, I eat a ton of whey protein.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that tasted like a crayon. At the end, the aftertaste is a crayon or Play-Doh.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, but we should probably take a break where I ask Scott.
Speaker 2:How does he know what a crayon or Play-Doh tastes?
Speaker 1:like. Thank you, that's what I was going to ask him.
Speaker 2:Well, we have a dear friend, Mark Taylor.
Speaker 1:Shout out to.
Speaker 2:Mark, who says that he for about four years ate crayons and he says the green ones taste the best. About four years, eight crayons and he says the green ones taste the best.
Speaker 1:And this is everything that he just described. It's pea protein and I got to tell you I mean it works. I'll eat Fit Factor, but here's the deal. Let's not be jerks If you've chosen either a-.
Speaker 2:A vegan lifestyle.
Speaker 1:Yeah, a plant lifestyle. It's better than nothing and again you don't have that many options. That is portable 20 grams of protein, but the flavor, god bless you to john's point.
Speaker 2:Okay, you know, yes, we do play wise asses quite regularly on this and really in life we just we like to joke around and have some fun. I've tried a million different types of protein powders because I mean, it's just, it's quick, they're easy calories, they're they're empty calories that you can get into your system quickly. For p protein, that's not bad. Okay, there is a chocolate taste to it. I don't like the aftertaste that it provides. Yeah, I don't necessarily see that often in some of the proteins, but you're right. In all seriousness, if you are chosen the vegan lifestyle, it's not terrible. It's something that you can deal with and move forward with.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right, I mean, that's absolutely it. And in defense of this pea protein bar and I couldn't find it, or if I saw it, I didn't remember what it was there was one based on a beef protein that tasted beefy when it wasn't meant to Like it was. It was probably peanut butter or something, but it had like a beefy undertaste and that's disturbing too. So, oh, I need to move on. Where are we going? What's?
Speaker 2:this. This is the think delight. Sorry, oh no, it did break. This is the think delight protein bar. It is keto label. It has 10 grams of protein, two net carbs, one gram of sugar. This is the chocolate peanut butter cookie dough version. Sounds good on paper.
Speaker 1:Agreed, I'm leaning away, sorry.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm leaning back in. I love it, do you yeah?
Speaker 1:It's very much like peanut butter. Yeah, it's basically like slightly crisped peanut butter. Yeah, like it's very like. It's basically like slightly crisped peanut butter like this. This is. This is befuddling. How not bad this one is. This this taste is. Is there something wrong with this one? Does it have like 20 grams of sugar or something? No, I told you one gram of sugar. Wow, wow, this is. This is up there with the front runners for sure, because it does. It tastes like, if you've ever had the PB Fit peanut butter powder, I think, if you reconstituted that to a slightly solid that you could dip into chocolate. I think that's kind of where that is. That is outstanding. That is outstanding. That is outstanding what was that?
Speaker 1:say that again because that deserves a. The think delight bar. Oh, big fan of the think delight, we have another one. We do I'm gonna. Oh, look, it fell off the table and went into my pocket and I'm running away with it.
Speaker 2:I'm way over here now, and by running he means falling down the stairs.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know what else I'm learning about protein bars? You can't eat a lot of them, you can't. Oh, okay, uh here.
Speaker 2:Oh wait, this is banana didn't we do banana? We did a banana for another one let's uh let's see what this one does. Okay, so you get to read uh, this is the bear bells.
Speaker 1:Oh, you know, I think I was wrong about the last one. The last one okay, this is the soft protein bar banana caramel or caramel, or however you say that word um by bear bell. Uh, what are we looking at? 16 grams of protein, no added sugar. Uh, the label's kind of mush, so let's see how much sugar it's 22 grams of carbs, 5 grams of fiber, 2 grams of total sugar, 9 grams of sugar alcohol. So this one. For people like me who are a little less sugar alcohol tolerant, this might be an issue.
Speaker 2:What do?
Speaker 1:you think, as I chew it.
Speaker 2:Middle of the road.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:The banana taste. Like we said, if the banana taste is done wrong, at least in our very discerning palates, it can go wrong badly, but the banana taste for this one isn't that bad?
Speaker 1:No, it's not bad I don't hate it. I don't love it. Middle of the road yeah, it's not bad. I don't hate it, I don't love it. Middle of the road yeah, wouldn't be my first choice.
Speaker 2:I definitely am getting the Think Bar before that, we've got two more that are cut up. Do we? What do we got?
Speaker 1:We have the oh, I'm interested in that one. This is the Gym Protein Bar J-Y-M I'm interested in only because I've heard of the brand, but I didn't know they did food. I don't know what they did.
Speaker 2:Gym Protein Bar chocolate coconut 16 grams of protein Sorry about all the crunching 23 grams of carbs, but 14 grams of fiber, so you're already down to nine. Oh wow, five sugar carbs, so you're down to four. Okay, but this has added sugar, which is kind of unusual. You don't see that as much anymore. So you talk, I'll eat, okay.
Speaker 1:Um, here's my quippy little review. I'm enjoys got nuts. Jim protein bar does not. This is Joy's got nuts. Gym Protein Bar does not. This is very Mounds Bar. This is very Mounds Bar. It's not as coconut forward, but it's very Mounds Bar.
Speaker 2:And it's chewy. It really is chewy. Yeah, at least the piece that I had.
Speaker 1:Yeah, no, it is. I didn't dislike that one either. I would recommend that I'm okay with that one, either. That's a. I would recommend that I'm okay with that one.
Speaker 2:I'm all right with that one.
Speaker 1:Especially if you love coconut. I mean again, I think one of the side quests on all these things is the fact that they solve a bit of a sweet tooth problem, if you have a sweet tooth problem.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so I'm all for these. Got one left there, boss, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Right in the middle. Oh fun, Grab your chunk. You grab your chunk. Tell me what to do. That's what I do best. This is Keto Nix I don't know if it's just Nix and it's Keto.
Speaker 2:You get to read Keto Nix Okay.
Speaker 1:This is Keto Nix, swedish-style protein bar. I am Jan and he is Scott. I am Scott, he is Jan, sven and Oli. Oh man, I want to be able to pronounce this in a Swedish accent, which I cannot. But this is almond choklad, it is C-H-O-K-L-A-D Choklad. So, first of all, that makes it sound cool and Swedish ad so cloud. So, first of all, that makes it sound cool and swedish, and it also gets around the fact that there's probably not a single anything remotely to uh chocolate in this bar. Uh, it's got oh, it's a little lower in protein. It's got 13 grams of protein, four net grams of carbs. Uh, what are they told?
Speaker 2:milk chocolate, coated almonds and protein bar this is one of the things that is unusual, because not a lot of the protein bars have actual, like real nuts of some form or fashion in it. Oh, there's real nuts in this one. I like that. Yeah, that one kind of surprised me. I took a bite and I'm like, oh damn, that's not bad. That's a definite yes for me it's not on the think one and quest level, but that's a solid option I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm, I'm looking through the, the macros and stuff and it's, it's fine. Um, it's a product of north macedonia, so there's that I wonder if love had anything to do with it. Oh, he's from Estonia, isn't he? I keep screwing that up, yeah, I know. So the next Swedish style protein bar, big fam. How about one more to close it up there, scottness.
Speaker 2:We have creamy peanut butter, chocolate or salted caramel. Pick your poison you pick. I recommend all of the above.
Speaker 1:Chocolate or salted caramel. Pick a poison you pick. I recommend all of the above.
Speaker 2:We're going to go with salted caramel, Caramel caramel. Yeah, I don't know Caramel.
Speaker 1:How do you say that? How do you say it in your everyday? For me, I think it's caramel.
Speaker 2:I think it's. However, gene tells me to say it. That's what happens when you get married for 30 years.
Speaker 1:You got married for 30 years. You got married for 30 years. That's a long ass wedding, holy cow.
Speaker 2:You know, all right, as john is chunking this up, this is along those lines. This is called the genius gourmet protein bar. Salted caramel, caramel, again, picky poison. One gram of sugar, 10 grams of protein. So it really hits towards that bottom level, something called protein. Yeah, it has total carbs. Before you even take anything out of it, total carbs are only four. Oh. So you take two four um fiber, you're down to only two net carbs.
Speaker 1:Oh, well, that's what I eat. Okay, um, esoteric texture like it. It's like it's gone, like it's very light. Uh, it feels like it's wrapped in white chocolate, so it's got a bit of that waxy white chocolate vibe, but the inside is very not super bound together. Pretty good.
Speaker 2:It's not bad at all. Yeah, it's not bad at all.
Speaker 1:It's okay, we'll go with the official. Okay, two thumbs, two thumbs mostly half up.
Speaker 2:Yeah, all right, so there's a lot of other ones that we have sitting around the table on us. I mean, there's a ton of quest different things here. We know that quest actually makes some cookies that I've had many times as a sweet as I was, um, doing something. They're good, they're a little dry, um, you know, without a doubt, as you've heard many times me saying the quest bars, I absolutely love them. Yeah, the one bar phenomenal. My go-to when it comes to this, it time and time again are the legendary foods, whether it's the cinnamon bun, the chocolate slash cinnamon bun, or. I've always been a sucker for the strawberry Pop-Tarts when we could have them for real. But the strawberry Pop-Tart, it's something that even without a microwave, it's solid, 100% solid, Cool.
Speaker 1:Well, that was our list. Folks DM us on Instagram at the Masters Athlete Survival Guide. What did we miss? What should we try? What is great and what do you think is awful?
Speaker 2:Where do you think we swing? And a miss hard.
Speaker 1:Yeah, right. Do you disagree hard with any of these Are?
Speaker 1:you a fit factor, protein fanatic, there you go and on that note, uh, I still am john and I'm still scott. Yeah, thanks for hanging out with us folks. Bye. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed this episode and you'd like to help support the podcast, please share it with others, post it on your social media or leave a review. To catch all the latest from us, you can follow us on Instagram at Masters Athlete Survival Guide. Thanks again. Now get off our lawn, you damn kids.