How One Father Survived Grief And School Years

Graduation day is supposed to feel like pure joy, but for a lot of parents it also opens the floodgates. We sit down with Michael, a single dad who just watched his daughter Trinity walk the stage, and we talk about the part people don’t always say out loud: even when you “make it,” your brain can still run a highlight reel of every choice you wish you could redo. He shares how the feeling of inadequacy shows up in quiet moments, how faith helps him push back on spiraling thoughts, and why “do your best, then release the outcome” has become a survival mindset.

We get real about what single parenting looks like when you’re also working a rotation schedule, including the stress of being away, the constant check ins, and the mental load of being the only decision maker. Michael explains why having a trusted person for a no judgment “brain dump” can change everything, especially on the nights when the house is quiet and your thoughts get loud. We also talk grief and what it means to keep showing up for your kids after loss, including his honesty about crying in private and trying to protect his children from seeing dad fall apart.

You’ll also hear practical parenting insights on teen anxiety, school absences, and how kids sometimes hide their struggles to avoid adding pressure at home. Michael breaks down how he set clear rules, built trust, and still created a life full of experiences, plus his advice for helping young adults launch without rushing them out the door. Sponsor shoutout to Go Big Entertainment for bringing the party Louisiana style. If this conversation helps you, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more parents who need it can find it.

https://cajunmamas.com/

YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@CajunMamas

Sara
https://www.facebook.com/lllippylady
https://www.instagram.com/lllippylady/#
https://www.tiktok.com/@lllippylady

Koa
https://www.facebook.com/kgmelancon
https://www.tiktok.com/@koa.melancon
https://www.instagram.com/k_melancon/

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

That's my way of thinking. Yeah. I'm I'm not saying dads don't fall apart. I mean when I would fall apart, I'd fall apart in the shower. Or or when it was my turn to you know to take a bath, I would go in the bathroom and just and just let it out for two minutes.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

Oh yeah. It it can do so well menu.

Welcome And Summer Reset

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Welcome to Coffee Talk with the Cajun Mamas. Grab a cup of coffee, settle in, and let's dive into real conversations about life, motherhood, and a little inspiration to brighten your day.

SPEAKER_03 0:34

Welcome to Coffee Talk with the Cajun Mamas in a brand new month, y'all. We in June already. June. Summertime is here. Kids are out of school.

SPEAKER_05 0:44

Kids are out of school. That was my next thing. Kids out.

Sponsor Shoutout Go Big Entertainment

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Before we get started, this awesome episode with my brother. He's back in studio with us. Um, we're gonna thank our sponsor for June, which is Go Big Entertainment. And that's G-E-A-U-X. Big. The Louisiana way. That should give you a hint that this is a Louisiana-based company. They offer um, they they really like bring the party to your event, basically. They're DJ service, they have the lights, they got the smoke machines, they got um the sparkler things, for your photo booths. It's really your whole entertainment package for your weddings, for your ooh, a family reunion. I would turn up at the family reunion. Right? Um, so give them, give them a look. Um, you can go to go big.com. I'm sorry, it's go G-E-A-U-X-Big.com. And on social media, they are Go Big Entertainment. Um, in fact, the owner, Jordan, is originally from Basile, so he knows how to throw a good Louisiana win. He knows how to party. Yes, he brings the party, and he has a whole group of DJs that will bring the party to you next event. So give them a uh a look if you're in the market for that. And um, we thank you, Go Big Entertainment, for being our sponsor for June.

Meet Michael And Graduation Relief

SPEAKER_03 1:56

Thank y'all. All right, so my brother, Michael Kibidot, is in studio with us, and I just realized after we had our first episode, I never once said who his name or who he was. My own time. I think I just felt so comfortable, like everybody just knows.

SPEAKER_05 2:12

But we just make your brother.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Exactly. So Michael Kibidot is his name. I'll call him Mikey or Bub or Bubin. That's what I'm always calling him.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Answer to all of it.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

Or my kids call him Uncle Bubby.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Uncle Bub.

SPEAKER_03 2:26

Because I'll call or Uncle Bub, because I'll call him Bub. Yes, he's Uncle Bub.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

I appreciate you having me back.

SPEAKER_03 2:32

Welcome back. Um, so we just kind of I mean we kind of talked about like our background life, I guess, the last time and how like you you were uh you are a single dad. Um I mean you have help now. You have a fiance now.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

I have a fiance now. She's she's uh she's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 2:51

Yes, um, but for a while it was just you pretty much for a long time.

SPEAKER_01 2:55

But uh first off, we we graduated. We we made it. We made it so and I know that uh I have some other uh single dad friends out there that their daughters have graduated. You know, we made made little text message, hey dude, we made it.

SPEAKER_05 3:07

I love that single dad community coming together.

SPEAKER_01 3:11

Yeah, yeah, it's well I mean it's a big thing, it's a big accomplishment. You know, it's and not only for her, but like wow, when she graduated, of course, I was heart struck, but at the same time I was like, oh yeah, yes, no more absences, no more doctors' visits, no more excuses. Like it's yeah, it's a huge deal, man.

SPEAKER_03 3:30

Yeah, and then with you being at work for half the time, pretty much going a month, home a month. There's a lot of times where I mean, if there was an absence or there was something to do with her school, you you couldn't do nothing. I mean, you know, you couldn't do nothing about it. So that um look, I'm hitting the microphone already. Um that weight has kind of been a little bit more than a lot of people.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Yes, that was that was a big weight. I mean, we do have we do have trade school coming up, so she's gonna decide what she wants to do with that. We're gonna do trade school, not college.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 3:59

Yeah, I won't get into the whole college deal.

SPEAKER_03 4:02

I'm I'm I'm right there with you. Hey, I'm gonna go back to the city.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

I won't get into my beliefs on on that. No, we agree with you, yeah. We do. Um, but yeah, a big accomplishment. We made it there, you know. And uh I'd messaged you yesterday, and um I got because we're I was kind of sitting

The Battle With Second Guessing

SPEAKER_01 4:18

in the garage and I was cooking supper, and everything was Taco Tuesday. So uh we was outside cooking some quesabria. And I was sitting back, you know, and and that's when I messaged you, and it's it was like this thing that I wanted to tell everybody is like a single dad, you know, you you can only do the best you can do. Yeah, it there's no rule book like at all. You know, you pray about it, you act on it, and then and then you you make a decision. And and yesterday I was sitting sitting there thinking, and this just shows you how the devil attacks you a lot, you know. And you start looking back on all your decisions.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

And it's like Especially now with her graduate, like all this, all these years kind of flashed before you.

SPEAKER_01 4:59

Oh, it did, it did, you know, and I'm I'm sitting there having having a beer and and cooking, and I'm like, all these decisions were playing in my head, like you didn't do that right. You didn't do that right. You didn't do that right.

SPEAKER_05 5:10

If I could go about all the things you did right, exactly, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

You know, and it and it all I almost went and got up and asked, asked Trinity, hey, did you did you live a good life? You know, did do you feel like I did right? And I said, you know what, devil, I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. Like you so I rebuked that in in in God's name, you know, like I guess the the biggest message is do your best, guys. Like, just do your best. You know, pray about it, act on it, and then forget about it.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

And and release the outcome.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Yeah, release the outcome. Cause like it I battle that a lot as a single dad. And I don't know like how many out there do, yeah, but I do battle that a lot. Like when you when you have in your quiet time, like the devil plays back on my decisions, and it it it's a tricky deal. It's a tricky deal, you know, because you don't you don't have anybody to bounce your decisions off of.

SPEAKER_03 6:01

That's what I was just thinking. You know, like it's we have to do that as mamas too. Like we have to, when we face with a decision regarding our kids, you pray about it, you go with the peace, whatever direction that is, and then you have to release the outcome. But we have spouses to talk it out with too.

SPEAKER_05 6:19

I was just thinking that. Like, I'm so I'm we're so blessed to have you here today because our take on everything is based on two people within the home making the decisions together. And so we don't have we can't really say what it's like for a single parent. And we have so many people that would probably love to hear what you have to say, you know, on both sides. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:43

You know, uh there were times where like I, you know, I had I had girlfriends um and we had long-lasting relationships. So I would bounce a few things off of them, but I'm not gonna lie, I was very reserved because I was trying to do it all on my own. You know, I I was trying to work, I was trying to raise my daughter the way I wanted my daughter raised, you know.

SPEAKER_03 7:02

You have always been like that. From the time that I can remember. Um, and I mean we there's almost eight years between us. So, like when I was coming of age to like understand grown-up things, you you were gone out of the house. But from day one, you were you were out making a living of and a life of your own since you were 18.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:23

So I feel like that is just so in your character. Like, I'ma do it myself. I'm gonna I'm gonna do it all.

SPEAKER_05 7:29

But like you didn't call your mama sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Not really.

SPEAKER_05 7:32

Oh, like I call my mama for everything, even though I have my spouse.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

I called I called Koa. Well, yeah, yeah, I I would call her a lot. And and not to say anything about my mom. Uh she's a wonderful person, and then I love my mom. But my mom didn't

Find A No Judgment Brain Dump

SPEAKER_01 7:48

give me the advice that I wanted at that time. I I'll put it that way. Yeah, you know, um, and we'll we'll leave it at that. Yeah, yeah. Uh I would I reached out to a couple friends, you know, again, her a lot, or I just prayed about it.

SPEAKER_03 8:02

Most of the time it was I I'll I'll just listen. You know, if I I don't have the right answer or whatever, but just listening and like no judgment one way or the other, like just dump your brain, like a brain dump.

SPEAKER_01 8:14

And that would that was that's huge, huge benefit if if if the guy has someone where he can call and and like for her, like she said, no judgment. I could just dump my brain on her, whatever I was going through, just dump it out. And I would fix myself, really, just by just by being able to do it. Being able to let it out.

SPEAKER_03 8:33

Yeah, and you hear it, you're like, mm, that's probably not the right thing, or oh, this is the right thing.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_05 8:40

Or you know, like sometimes I'll be coming up with ideas or solutions to a problem while I'm talking it out with her. Exactly. You know, and you're like, oh, okay, wait, this was kind of obvious, and I never know.

SPEAKER_03 8:49

But you need somebody that's not gonna like pump you up one way or the other. No, you delayed you can do this or that, or you better do this or that, or and just Yes, yes, and she would just listen.

SPEAKER_01 9:02

Yeah, just listen. And and when I say that's a great word for it, just a brain dump. Because I know sometimes I've called her and just rambled on about just everything, and she would just be, yep. Yeah, yep, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:13

What you mean? I get what you say.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

And by the by the end of it, though, by the end of it, I'd have it figured out, yeah, you know, and I would feel better about it, and and I'd go back to go back to single parenting, you know. But that's that's very beneficial to have someone that that'll do that for you, you know. Oh yeah. So guys, if you if you don't have one, find one. Yeah, yeah. A brain dump is a perfect word, and it's a good thing, just a reset. Yeah. Yeah, a reset, and that helped a lot.

SPEAKER_05 9:41

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:43

That's cute. Oh, what a cute brother and sister.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Yeah, we've been shoot. A lot of times I called, and without you, it'd have been rough. It'd have been rough. And I had I had a couple friends that I would call as well, you know. Uh I can't lie, there's a couple friends I could call at any time and just dump on them, you know, because uh night times were hard. You know, because you're you're so busy during the day. I was so Jamie was going, I was working from sun up till can't, like we spoke in the first episode, and Jet was helping. But by the time you get home and you get the kids, you get supper, put up a load of laundry, get baths, it's over. It's time for the next day. Yeah, you know. So when everything quieted down and you have those few minutes to yourself where your brain would not run so hard, you know, that that was the hardest topic. Yes, thinking time to think. Yeah, when you finally settle down and you look around and you go, it's only Monday. You know, it's only Monday. Because you work all week and then on Saturday you catch up for what you didn't do during the week. Sunday you're prepare for the next week. And hey, we're Monday. It's time to go again.

SPEAKER_05 10:55

It's time to go again. And and it's so that I feel like that our our world is so wrapped up in that. The the constant cycle, the constant cycle. And when you do have time to finally sit down and think for yourself, you you can't really compute everything.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

No, it's it's it's a it's and then when you do like sit and think for yourself and you start computing after a loss like that,

Grief Behind Closed Doors

SPEAKER_01 11:20

your brain goes right back to that. Yeah, you know, and then I would uh phone a friend because I I I shall I I don't gotta say sheltered. I kept the kids from a lot. You know, uh I kept them from a lot. I they had enough on their plate after losing their mom.

SPEAKER_03 11:36

Tennessee was eight at the time.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

I think uh pretty sure it was eight years old.

SPEAKER_03 11:40

I think she was eight years old, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

And after losing uh the your mom, they don't need to see dad fall apart. It's that's my way of thinking. Yeah. I'm I'm not saying dads don't fall apart. Yeah, I mean when I would fall apart, I'd fall apart in the shower. Or or when it was my turn to you know to take a bath, I would go in the bathroom and just and just let it out for 10 minutes.

SPEAKER_03 12:02

Oh yeah. It it can do so much.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

Yeah, it does. I mean, I'm not I mean, grown man, I'm not gonna lie, I I mean I cried, I cried for a long time about it, you know. Um but I would do it in the shower, I would pick my moments, you know, um, and then I say refresh myself and then walk out, okay, guys. You know, walk out and just continue on, you know. I I didn't feel that the kids needed to see dad break down. And I might have done that wrong, you know. Again, there's no rule book. No, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 12:34

I think everybody kind of deals with it in their own way, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:37

You know, and and but I did let the kids know, like a couple of times I remember distinctively my eyes watering up, you know, just because they were having a bad day.

SPEAKER_03 12:47

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 12:48

Yes, and you know, and and hold Trinity and and Odam and tell them, you know, it's gonna be all right, you know, it's gonna be okay, guys. But yeah, fall apart is something just in my character, I didn't do unless it was behind closed doors. As you say, the cleansing shower cry. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:06

So like when you are thinking of things that in your life that you like, yeah, you you wish you would have handled a little different. Um but on the other hand, the other end of it, like you see have you seen like growth come from those? Not just with Jamie passing, but like you s your life really like if you opened it up would be a Netflix special, I feel like. Yeah, so I just uh and I mean the details are not, you don't have to go into it, but I'm just I'm thinking like surely, I mean, there's lessons you've learned. There's a lot of lessons that's happened. Yes, there's times that I mean if you could do things differently, uh you would but like how do you keep yourself from spiral spiral spiraling down

The Shotgun Memory Trick

SPEAKER_03 13:55

that road?

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Like I it's very stupid, it's very stupid. Um, but I'll I'll share it. Like when when when I start having memories of that, and like most of my bad memories or things I should have kept my kids from seeing, you know, or or like uh me drunk or you know, other other things. Um I won't go into detail with that, you know. But like um it's like I throw the memory up in the air and I shoot it with a shotgun. And boof, we're done with that memory, it's not coming back.

SPEAKER_05 14:26

And when it does, you just do it again.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

I do it again. Yeah, I do it again. I have an unlimited amount of ammo. Yeah, I have an unlimited amount of ammo and I just throw the memory up, shoot it with a shotgun in my head.

SPEAKER_03 14:38

Going away, boof.

SPEAKER_01 14:39

We're done with that. We're not gonna get it.

SPEAKER_03 14:40

That's a good visualization.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

We're not we're not going there again, we're not doing that, and if it comes up, we throw it back up and we shoot it again. Yeah, and um like lying in bed at work because at work you're you're by yourself. You're you're on you're on a rig with all guys, you know, in the middle of nowhere, drilling a well. And when it's bedtime on the rig, you have so much that goes through your head, especially being a single dad. Yeah, is she okay? Yeah, is she at what's happening back at home? Is she being taken care of? You know, um Trinity had a phone at a very young age. I don't know if I said it on the last cast, but uh that way I could call and check on her.

SPEAKER_05 15:19

Yeah, that's important, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Yeah, and then um I would call and check on her at least every other night. Hey, what's going on? How's this? How's that? You know, but I developed that laying in bed at work, just all these memories flash and flash and flash, and or something I did when I was home that man, I wanted to take that back. Yeah, then I can't get to sleep, so I just started throwing them up and yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

Oh, I love that. I will be, I might be doing that myself. Um I think that this is the perfect time for you to come back because Trinity just graduated. Yes, and so like just yeah, all these decisions were made, but then we have this experience that's so fresh in your memory and like just happened what a couple days ago. And like, yeah, all these decisions were made, but ultimately she's graduated. She's uh she's a an adult, she's you know, a great, a good citizen, great kid, you know, and like so I I think you did good.

Anxiety Absences And Bullying Stress

SPEAKER_05 16:20

Thank you. You know, thank you. I've met her a couple of times and I love her.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Oh, you know, yeah, yeah. She she did great. She worked her uh since she turned 16 and could drive. She started working, and I think she had a 3.6 she graduated with after I think she made that little post. I think she had 200 absences through school, you know.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

That girl, that girl would, oh my throat hurts, I'm not going to school, or just any little thing that would drive. Oh, and when she was younger in like elementary school, I remember we've had we had we would have phone conversations like I don't know what to do anymore, I'm not home, and I can't get her to school.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

But it And she's crying with the nanny or crying and nannies. So you're at work, your daughter's crying like I have to do.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Every day to go to school. My stomach.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Yep, every day, and I've lost it, I've lost like literally lost it a few times over the absences and the stomach aches and the and come to find out, it's when she would get nervous.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

It's anxiety.

SPEAKER_01 17:17

It's anxiety, it was anxiety, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

But you're not there to get her through it. So that was even or even gauge her.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

But she also but she also sheltered me for from a lot of things that like she was having troubles at school, you know, what she calls bullying, and then which is valid if you think it's bullying, it's bullying. Yeah. But she sheltered me from that because she said that I had enough to deal with that she didn't that I didn't need to deal with it. You know, but that would give her anxiety, and then that would come the stomach aches or the throat itches or you know, everything. So I was thank god we made it. Yeah, yeah, no, that's awesome. We made it, and and and you know, you're saying like uh like after she got her diploma and she went stand. I mean, it did go through my mind, and it's like, well, you didn't totally destroy that, but you know, it's like you that that was that was the thought that I I did not destroy that, you know. Like I I did that I got her here, yeah. I did that all right, yeah. You know, and it did, it did take a village. I'm not saying I did it all on my own, you know, because it did take a village, and I have had help along the way, you know. But uh yeah, that was a big accomplishment for me.

SPEAKER_05 18:26

That's just it just makes me so happy. It makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

You can so so like you can do it, guys. You can do it. If I can do it, you can do it. Yeah, you know, just it takes a village, and it takes a little a lot of patience and it takes coming up with little ideas to suppress bad thoughts and suppress bad memories because I mean the devil will tear her at all. Oh, for sure. You know, like it's uh I mean I know that I know that she lived a good life, but I'm still sitting in my garage wanting to go ask her. You know, hey, do you think that I could have done this better? I could have done that better, you know. The feeling of inadequacy, inadequacy, inadequacy, inadequacy.

SPEAKER_03 19:05

That's my word, yeah. Inadequacy.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

The the feeling of inadequacy is there a lot with me. Yeah, it's it's it's very real with me. And uh I have to suppress that as well, you know. Because we do do a lot of things, and we do, and we've been to Dominican, we're going to Mexico, you know, like we go to the mountains, we do a lot of things, and we do have a a lot of good times. Still there. Still, yeah, yeah. It's still there. And I think I don't know if it's just a guy thing or um I think it's a parent thing.

SPEAKER_05 19:35

It's a parent thing, I definitely feel it all the time. And even like when I do discipline my kids, this is a whole totally different instance, but when I discipline my kids, I'm always like, okay, well, how was that?

SPEAKER_03 19:47

How do you think like I want to how did you how do you think I handled that with the child?

SPEAKER_05 19:52

And it's like, no, you know, you obviously can't do that, but I'm just like, or you know, like I'll go back and think how how what was done to me when I was disciplined, and how I don't want that to be something that um that my kids experience. So I'm always second guessing myself. Yes, like, did I do that right? Oh my god, she's gonna do drugs for the rest of her life because I said this, you know, like I you just do it. The devil is always after. It's not, you know, I that's a parent thing. That's a parent.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

And it's do it. Have I let them do too much? Have I not let them do enough? And but when they get out in the world, are they gonna go crazy because I didn't let them do enough? Or are they gonna be bad because

Rules Trust And Oilfield Rotation

SPEAKER_01 20:35

I let them do too much? Yeah, you know it. I was very, I was very lucky, very blessed. Yeah, um, Trini and I had an understanding when I went back uh overseas. Okay, we can have this kind of life, or we can have this kind of life. To have this kind of life, here are the rules, and you have to live by them, or we have this kind of life. You know, if you want to go and do and and have the extras and and be able to do basically what we want. I mean, by no means are we rich, but we do live a semi-charmed life, you know.

SPEAKER_03 21:10

Uh right.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

But here's the rules, and and you gotta follow them. Because I cannot do what I do and have you acting up. Be worried about and breaking all these rules, yeah. And she did. She knew she knew the script, yeah. Other than the that other than the absences, which we can deal with, you know. Yeah. But she she did. She if if I said she would always ask me, can I do this? Can I do that? And if I said, Man, I don't have a good feeling about that one, she wouldn't, she wouldn't she wouldn't push it. Maybe once or twice. And I would tell her, let me sleep on it. And then I would tell her again, hey, I I just I don't have a good feeling about that. Can we just please not do that? And she would be upset, but she wouldn't.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:55

But in turn, if I didn't have a bad feeling about it, I pretty much let her do. Until she broke trust.

SPEAKER_02 22:01

Yeah. Right.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Which she only did like maybe once and she f poor baby. She felt so bad about it. Oh I know. That's good.

SPEAKER_03 22:07

I mean that's that's not a bad thing.

SPEAKER_01 22:10

Oh a lot of things lined up really well throughout my life to be able to uh accomplish what we've accomplished. You know. And and Trinity's attitude and personality and everything being one of them. You know.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Because you couldn't you couldn't do what I do with a rebellious kid, you know.

SPEAKER_03 22:27

Very true. Yeah. Yeah. And no nanny's gonna want to watch it. Your life would look a lot different.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

A lot different. You know, and we discussed that. We can I I can stay doing this and we can have a a small two-bedroom house with the a little bit of yard, and which still could be great.

SPEAKER_05 22:41

I don't know, it's a great life. It's a great life.

SPEAKER_01 22:43

Don't get me wrong. Don't don't get me wrong on that. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 22:46

But I mean, all these experiences and the you know, like I don't know, just like you said, living living a semi-torm life that is uncomfortable, you know.

SPEAKER_01 22:57

But the rules, the rules had to be followed, yeah. And they were rules have to be followed, yeah. And they were so that was also beneficial to me so I could continue my career. Yeah, you know, because I'll repeat if the rules wouldn't have been followed.

SPEAKER_05 23:08

Yeah. Do you like the work that you do?

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Oh, I love it. Yeah, I absolutely love it. What's he 27 years in the oil field now?

SPEAKER_05 23:16

Yeah, too late not to like it, huh?

SPEAKER_01 23:19

No, I do, I I do. I actually I love what I do. If everybody always says if we could do that and be home every night, that'd be the greatest thing. Yeah, oh yeah, that'd be the dream.

SPEAKER_05 23:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Cause because the the camaraderie, you know, the challenges, it's the same thing every day, but it's totally different. You know, you do the same things, you're either drilling, tripping pipe, running, casing, but every job is different because you're gonna have different troubles with each each job, you know. Yeah, like this time maybe a hose will blow, or this time this equipment won't work, or sometimes it might just go perfectly hose, perfectly hunky-dory, but yeah, not often, you know. So you have to you have to think on your feet, and it's it's very challenging work, and it's but it's good.

SPEAKER_05 24:01

But it I guess it's better whenever you have to leave, especially if you like the job, you know, when you have to leave your family.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Right.

SPEAKER_05 24:07

It's okay. That's never easy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:10

Um the time off, the time off covers for that, because you know, I have a whole month. A whole month off, and we get to do a lot of cool things in that month, you know. Um I did the nine to five. Like I said, and catch up on Saturday, prep on Sunday, and go to work Monday. Not for me. Yeah, you know, as far as some people, yeah, not for me. I was happy to go back and get my month off of work.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Right. Yeah, it makes it worth it.

SPEAKER_01 24:36

Yeah, but I mean there's and some people like sacrifice that for being home every night. It's a perspective, I guess. I don't know. And like you said, I've been doing it for so long. Yeah, it's it's life, yeah. It's life. It's life.

SPEAKER_05 24:50

That's good. That's good. I like how y'all make it work.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

It works. And we made it.

SPEAKER_03 24:56

We y'all made it. And you'll be and now a new season and a new chapter. A new season and a new chapter, yeah. Because I mean she's she's an adult, but at the same time, she still is gonna need her daddy, and you'll still you'll still be you'll

Helping Kids Launch Without Rushing

SPEAKER_03 25:10

still be a huge influence on her life.

SPEAKER_01 25:12

Yeah, that's well that's the end result, huh? For everyone. But yeah, raise them, raise them smart enough that they can go out on their own and do on their own, but raise them in a manner that they always want to come back over.

SPEAKER_03 25:22

They're in many of their roots.

SPEAKER_01 25:23

Yeah, yeah. They always want to come back over.

SPEAKER_03 25:25

Oh, she won't want to be too far from home.

SPEAKER_01 25:26

Oh, she ain't move, she ain't going nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 25:28

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 25:29

She ain't going nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

There you go. And I can only hope they want to do that.

SPEAKER_05 25:38

I ain't got no land, and I'm like, um, y'all can just stay right here. Y'all can just stay in my house with me forever.

SPEAKER_01 25:44

That does not bother me at all. Not one bit.

SPEAKER_05 25:47

We'll have to figure something out because I I just can't see my kids leaving away from me.

SPEAKER_01 25:52

But I know I I we were I do a lot of cooking in the garage, so we were, of course, in the garage again. And I don't mean I just had a moment. Like, I forgot what Trinia did, and she came back. And I just like my eyes just started watering, and Sarah's like, what's wrong? I was like, I don't know how much longer I'm gonna have her coming home. You know, it just like it just hit, you know, it just hit. And then Sarah looks at me, she goes, Oh, that girl ain't going nowhere.

SPEAKER_03 26:21

She got it too good now. Come on.

SPEAKER_01 26:24

Which is fine, which is fine with me, you know. Uh I actually think they're gonna stay with me for a while. She's gonna finish college, he's gonna finish college. And I told her, man, just save your money. It's it's we looked at getting them a little house or a starter trailer. I was like, man, just save your money. You know, um, I I told them that like something I did when I was younger that kind of impressed myself though. You know, uh but before I bought my first house, I bought a store and lock. When I knew I was gonna buy my first house, I bought a store and lock. Every check, I would get something for that house and put in that store and lock.

SPEAKER_05 26:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:56

So like it might be a pot set this check or bed or bedding, or but when I moved into my house, I had everything.

SPEAKER_02 27:04

I had everything. It wasn't all at one time.

SPEAKER_01 27:06

Yes, it was not all at one time. So when we moved out of the store and lock and filled the house up, I looked around and said, Wow. That's pretty cool.

SPEAKER_05 27:14

That is I've never heard of that. That is pretty cool.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

Yeah, so that's what I've challenged them with. I said, you know, just stay with me, save the money, finish college, get your jobs, but while you're with me, you gotta get a store. You gotta get a store. Yes, and and just buy something every check. That's all I ask for.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

That's right. Yeah, she ain't going nowhere. That that's that's good.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

And it's good, and it's good, but but you know what, like I said, raise them where they can, where they can go and do anything they want, but they don't want to go for it.

SPEAKER_03 27:45

But they don't want, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Yes, but they don't want to go for it. And I'm and and we're happy with that, you know. Yeah, we stay at the lake most weekends anyway, on the front of my bath boat, so it's they have their space, we have our space, so it's it's good. Yeah, gotcha. That's

Reach Out And Final Sponsor Wrap

SPEAKER_01 28:00

nice.

SPEAKER_03 28:00

Well, thank you for coming. I appreciate y'all having me back. You're welcome anytime. I know this had to have resonated with somebody out there. I hope it did.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

I hope it did. And and you know what, like it if it did, reach out. Like, reach out. Uh I I have a Facebook page, I have a business fake Facebook page, Rig Pig Fishing, um, my personal page. If you're a single dad and you need help or you want to know anything, man, reach out. We we're we're a network. I love that. Yeah, don't be don't be afraid. Uh I've not single dads, but uh friends that needed guidance with things.

SPEAKER_03 28:33

I mean You've been through a lot and can share some experiences.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Share some that I ain't gonna share on here, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 28:39

Yeah, and some probably even I don't know about and don't want to know about probably so, but but in in in wrap-up, you know, it guys, it takes a village, you know.

SPEAKER_01 28:50

Yeah, find you a brain dump, you know, yeah. Get you a shotgun, load it full of shells, throw them bad memories up and get rid of them. Don't don't don't let the devil don't let the devil depress you and don't let him second guess your judgments, you know. You'll make it.

SPEAKER_05 29:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:08

If I can do it, you can do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:10

I love it. Yes, awesome.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

I appreciate it.

SPEAKER_03 29:12

Thank you so much for coming.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

I love you too.

SPEAKER_03 29:15

All right, so let's wrap it up and thank our sponsor for this month, Go Big Entertainment. Woo!

SPEAKER_05 29:20

All right, if y'all are ready to party, Jordan from Basile.

SPEAKER_03 29:24

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_04 29:24

He got you.

SPEAKER_05 29:25

And his crew. And his crew. Okay, now it takes it takes a village now to make a party happen. All right, you need some smoke machines. You have a big event coming up. You got a wedding. Yeah. They doing the cold, they do they do the special effects like the cold sparks, the dancing on the clouds for the wedding.

SPEAKER_03 29:42

Listen, I don't even know what that is, but I want to know so I can see dancing on the clouds. It sounds fun to me. Sounds fun to me. Gotta be like a fog machine or something, huh?

SPEAKER_05 29:53

Oh, I don't know. Maybe we should look into this. I was thinking like AI type. AI cloud? Visuality.

SPEAKER_01 30:00

In front of a screen and you can do it.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

Oh, you know, like we did for the Lime Life spin. We better go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, they got photo booths. Yeah. So big moments deserve Go Big Entertainment. That is G-E-A-U-X, Big Entertainment. Cajun country weddings, the big celebration. They're gonna bring the party. They got lighting, music, sparks, photo booths. They do it all. Don't worry about it. Okay, so if you got a big event coming up, just call Jordan and his people at Go Big Entertainment, G-E-A-U-X. Follow them on social media, and you can um go check out what they have at www.godbig.com.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

All right. Thank y'all so much, and we'll see you next week.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Thanks for joining us on Coffee Talk with the Cajun Mamas. We hope you enjoyed your cup of coffee and our chat. Don't forget to subscribe and share with your friends. Until next time, keep the coffee brewing and the conversation flowing.