TINAH Talks | Mental Health and Wellbeing Podcast

43. How to Stay Sane (When the Political Climate Makes the World Feel Like It's Falling Apart)

• TINAH • Season 2 • Episode 43

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In this episode of Tinah Talks, we discuss how the constant stream of political news and social media affects our mental health. With the 24/7 news cycle and social media amplifying fear and division, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed, and even hopeless. We explore how the state of current affairs in the U.S. contributes to anxiety, frustration, and mental fatigue - and, more importantly, what we can do to protect our mental well-being during these times of change and uncertainty.

We discuss:

❓Setting boundaries with media consumption.

❓How do we stay informed without feeling emotionally drained?

❓ Engaging in political discussions without sacrificing our mental peace?

❓ Self-regulating your anxious thoughts?

❓ The importance of consuming only reliable information

❓Strategies to detach from the chaos while still staying engaged.

Through this conversation, we also highlight the role of community support, self-care, and mindful consumption of news. In a world filled with negativity, it’s crucial to find balance, focus on what we can control, and seek connection and hope in difficult times.

#electionanxiety #fear #politics #politicaldepression #politicalanxiety #politicsandmental health #newsstress #politicaltrauma #political stress, #digitalcommunication #newsandanxiety #newsconsumption #mentalhealth #socialmediaaddiction #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness #newsimpact #politicaldiscourse #politicalnews #mediainfluence #socialmedia #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthissues #emotionalwell-being #social media impact

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Kelsey (00:01.241)
Welcome back to another Tina Talks episode. We're your hosts. I'm Kelsey and this is Sophie. Today we're talking about the state of the world and pretty much in terms of politics and how it's affecting all of our mental health. I know the situation is different for everybody. I am based in the US. So there, as people know, there's a lot of things happening politically with the US government, which is affecting other

countries and it's trickling out. Sophie, however, you're currently in Thailand. Yeah, and so we were talking a little bit before this call, you don't really get the news there in terms of like on your Instagram or you're not looking up the news. You're not seeing anything massive about what's happening in terms of the political atmosphere here in the US, right?

Sophie (00:34.584)
right now.

Sophie (00:53.408)
Only if I scroll past something, become hooked in by it, obviously I'm then fed the content that is being put out there, but no, like...

Generally no, because I'm so far removed from it, but obviously there are things that I am aware of because I've spoken about it to people or I've seen it just randomly pop up and then I've kind of gone deeper into that subject. as a general rule, I would say no, I'm not as privy to it as obviously, of course, you would be like in the country.

Kelsey (01:26.873)
Yeah, yeah. So I do want to emphasize that like this episode, we're not talking about who is right. is it, know, liberals are right, Republicans are right, conservative versus all of that. We're not going down that route of, you know, promoting one versus the other. We want to talk more about how the bombardments and the fear mongering that comes with the news, whether whatever side it's coming from,

how much it is affecting our mental health these days and in particular with the US there are a lot of changes that are being made that are affecting individual rights. So as a female there are changes that have been made that affects me and that could potentially cause bodily harm to me. It has brought individual fear. I know there are other communities from minorities, LGBTQ, immigrants, all of this stuff where

a lot of things are being changed and people are really scared, like really, really scared about what's happening. And so we want to talk more about the humanity basis behind what's happening with the political atmosphere and the intensity of it, and then how that's affecting our mental health and what we can do to manage that when it's a large system that as a single individual, we can't change, right? Like this is out of our control, so to speak.

I don't know, did you ever feel that way when you were living in the UK? I know you haven't been there for a really long time, so maybe when you were younger you weren't paying attention as much politically, but...

Sophie (03:05.96)
I think the main comparison I can give for it is Brexit. So Brexit obviously was like a massive political event in the UK and at the time I lived in Italy. So for context, I've barely lived in the UK for the past 10 years. I've only lived there like four out of the past 10 years. it's, don't...

Kelsey (03:10.34)
yeah.

Sophie (03:27.126)
Although, yes, I am British, I am from the UK, I classify the UK as home, like, in terms of like the day-to-day is going on there, I'm not always like present in it because I'm, don't personally.

live there it doesn't impact me directly because I'm not there full time. However, obviously I have interest in there, my friends, my family live there at some point who knows if I'll ever go back there. But the most prominent thing throughout my life that's happened politically that had a massive impact on my personal life was Brexit. And like I I lived in Italy at that moment in time. So there was a lot of obviously question marks because Brexit supposedly was like

we're gonna leave the use EU straight away and you're gonna get your rights taken away You're not gonna live in Europe. I was living in Europe So obviously there was a situation where I was like for a minute like well What does that mean for me? Like if I stay here in Italy, does that mean I have to go home? Like and actually that situation now obviously many years later that whole situation took what like five six years to play out in its full Intensity only really now we see in the direct impact of what happened with brexit in terms of all the changes that were made I don't think it was as

as as what's happening in the US where they are literally like overturning things like as they speak it out loud. That happened over a long period of time and now yes that actually does impact me because I'm a British passport holder who travels full time right so when I go to Europe when I moved to Italy the first time around

I could just move there. I didn't have to think about it. I literally packed a bag, I could move to Italy. I got a job there. Obviously I had to get a contract to be able to work there and stuff, but I didn't have to think about visas. I could literally just get on a plane, take my stuff off, go, settle my life there. Now I really have to think about that. And as somebody that doesn't particularly want to live in their home country, I definitely can feel the big impacts of that because I can now, I now have the same rights as most people around the world. Like I can only stay in Europe for 90 days, which yeah.

Sophie (05:27.856)
for most people that's totally okay right like the average person that travels a couple of times a year is not never going to use that 90 day allowance whereas for me like I liked enjoyed having the flexibility of being able to move wherever I wanted to set up a home wherever I wanted like I don't want to live in my home country so now it makes my life a lot harder and don't get me wrong I'm not complaining because I know that so many more nationalities have it way worse off than I do where it's harder for them to get visas and stuff I'm just saying from like a personal perspective

that's how that political situation has impacted my life and obviously then you have to deal with all of the consequences of that and I'm sure similarly to what's happened happens in the US where people support different parties and support different opinions that Brexit vote was very much divided and my family's full on like got ripped apart because of those those viewpoints and the way that they presented that in the media and the fear mongering and all of the things that you're speaking about obviously like that of course hadn't

Kelsey (06:25.166)
Yeah.

Sophie (06:27.672)
perhaps at that moment in time. And there obviously has been other things that go on since then, but that's probably been the most prominent one that I would think of that is the most comparable in terms of like, I write being taken away.

Kelsey (06:42.466)
Yeah, and it was anxiety producing in the moment, right? Like I'm sure you were experiencing fear, anxiety, and stress and all those things. And I think what's unique about, right, we're in 2025, I'm 33, and your birthday is coming up. Yeah, yeah, let's you go. So.

Sophie (06:45.87)
For sure.

Sophie (06:58.486)
Yeah, turn if I three in two weeks.

Kelsey (07:04.256)
our generation, we're the generation that didn't have cell phones and then into high school got cell phones and then into college got smartphones. So we've had this like really unique shift with technology. And so I think in 2025, we're in this really unique atmosphere where everything is just so accessible and in your face and like very, very loud. When I, this is actually really interesting. I noticed the shift when I had left, I left the U S in 2017.

to travel and I was gone for about seven years, right? I did come back for a couple holidays and things. So I just so happened to leave. This wasn't timed when Trump went into office the first time. And there was a lot of uproar about different things as there is whenever there's a new president that comes into office. And I left. And so when I was away, I didn't hear very much of what was happening on a day-by-day basis.

And I remember distinctly that like I came back, it was a couple years later and I feel like not only are things very loud in your face with the news, but now it's a bombardment on social media. So you can't avoid it, which I'll touch base on in a second because there's been things happening on my social media that I'm like, my God, how, how is sending up on my feed? but I remember distinctly coming back and in the past growing up,

feel like people didn't talk about politics as openly. Like people had their opinions and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but we weren't word vomiting it at each other. And we weren't angry at each other and saying, this is what it is and this is what it needs to be. And like, it just wasn't as open. And I remember I was in the store. I was at all these and I was looking for olives. Like this is how distinct this memory was for me. And there was these two older women as an older, I think they were in their maybe late forties, like.

early 50s and having a conversation about politics. And I just distinctly remember them talking about, yeah, you know, these young millennials, just ruining, they're ruining our country and all the decisions that they're making. And I'm standing, they're standing in front of the olives. So they're like, the reason why I was standing there is because I was trying to get to the olives. And I was like, and she, this woman looks at me and gives me the dirtiest look. And I'm like,

Kelsey (09:25.344)
yo, I'm just trying, like I just said, excuse me, can I get some olives? Like I was like just trying to not engage, but I hadn't had that experience. I could feel the political shift in the US, because I had been gone for so long. like prior to leaving, it didn't feel like that. Like the atmosphere was not like that. And then this one experience I started to pick up like,

Sophie (09:30.306)
So innocent.

Kelsey (09:50.467)
I became more and more of a common experience. And I was like, what is going on that people feel like they need to be angry with one another about certain things? And this is my personal belief is, what I do for me and how I take care of me and how I take care of my body and my family and my unit, that's my business. And you might do it differently and I might not agree with that, but that's not my business. You do you, babe. Go enjoy whatever it is that you're gonna do or don't enjoy or whatever it is.

gonna put my opinion on you and as long as you you're not physically hurting people like actively okay fine like we're all good so and I know that stems into a whole conversation of people will be like abortion you're hurting someone whatever that's a whole nother conversation for another day but I've started to notice right like you turn on the you turn on the TV like

Even in TV shows, things are becoming hyper politicized in one direction or another. My Instagram, so now Trump is in office here for his second term, and I noticed immediately, was like leading up to the election, there was a lot of political things that were being posted on Instagram and accounts that have nothing to do with politics. So there's this one account, I think it's called Poets Globe or something, and it's all poetry.

solid background with some words, that's it. All of a sudden, this account would like, I would come across like a very hyper political, like politicized post and it'd be in one direction or the other. And I'd be like, what is this? Like, what is this? Like, what is this account? What am I, am I following this? And it was PoetsGlobe. And I was like, that's weird. And so I like went to their account and I saw that like their normal feed and then they had one very political post.

And I was like, okay, well, I'm not gonna delete the account because I don't think this is very common for them. And then I started to notice that would happen frequently, but what they would do, they must either have gotten bought out or they're getting paid a large amount of money to promote certain political platforms. And they'll make a post that'll keep it for like 24, 48 hours and then they delete it. And so then when you go to the account, they have millions of followers. When they go to the account, it just looks like the normal account. But then every once in a while, this

Kelsey (12:16.824)
this image will pop up on your feed. And I noticed it happening with multiple accounts. So now all of a sudden my feed is flooded with all these really political things. right, like, unfortunately, there's a large population of Americans that are uneducated. And I'm not saying it is their fault. We have a broken school system and things like that. And then poor economic standings contribute to that. But a lot of people are uneducated and they...

don't recognize, and I remember this was drilled into us at school, you need to verify your sources. Social media is not a verified source. And I won't watch Fox News, I won't watch CNN, because both of them, if you put them side by side, they say the same things, and it's the fear monitoring, but like in the different, and then they're promoting a different direction of it. But it's very intensified because it's meant to...

evoke an emotional response and the same with social media, right? And it's to like drive this wedge to polarize people because at the end of the day, that's kind of how you control people is by like pitting them against each other and creating this divide and all these issues and keeping people stuck in this fight flight freeze mode because they're just trying to manage, right? And so I've noticed that like, I don't watch Fox News, I don't watch CNN, I don't want.

Sophie (13:38.296)
Mm-hmm.

Kelsey (13:44.931)
takes on my Instagram. If I'm going to keep myself up to date about what is happening politically, if I want to know what's happening, if my rights are being affected, what I can do to be involved and you know to change and campaign or whatever, I'm going to have a couple of core sources that I'm going to go to that I know are not, what's the word, theatrical I guess you could say, that are just giving

They're just giving the facts and they're not giving their own political opinion and twist on it. And I will compare across multiple sources and then make an educated decision or thought about the situation. But I feel like we're bombarded by everything. That it's really hard to not like on a daily basis, be like, my God, I feel like my rights are being taken away. my God, this thing is happening. And you know, what are we going to do? And there's like a mass panic that's happening and people's anxieties are spiking. I know.

I have friends who are therapists and they're like, my God, this is all anybody can talk about. People are terrified and they can't focus on anything else. I think it's just, it's part of my French, but it's bullshit and it's wrong.

Sophie (14:56.704)
Yeah. Do you feel like, do you feel like when you see these posts, does that, what does that evoke in you? And do you, are you looking at it like a sense of, right, can you compartmentalize that and say, right, this is the news, they make money off of fear mongering people, or do you kind of like get sucked into that as well? And like, that makes you more nervous for what's to come? Or like, do you go back and revert back?

to the facts like you just said you don't look at certain sources do you try and figure out the facts versus like the fear mongering like how have you been navigating that?

Kelsey (15:36.153)
Yeah. So I'll give a really good example. Last night I was scrolling on some stuff and someone made a very like hyper polarizing, it's a hook. Hooks are meant to grab you. They are meant to stimulate emotion. And it was about something that Trump has put in as an executive order that may have gotten passed in the House of Representatives. And it was in the frame of women's rights. So, right?

it caught me and then I was like, my God, is this true? And then I like opened it and then I opened, she like linked a source and I looked at the source. Source was totally biased, 100 % biased, very biased in the liberal direction. And I was like, okay, so this isn't facts. So then I went to the other sources. I started to go onto Google to look up other sources and also these days, because people like...

you know, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, all these high tech people are now joining with government forces. You can't trust even some of the sources that you're digging for. You have to go, you have to get a VPN. You have to go in incognito mode and you have to see if you're going to be given the right information because, and I will say this, I noticed that when I did look up political stuff when I was living out of the country, I lived in Vietnam, right, for two and a half years. And I would hear things from my friends and family.

what the information and the things that I would see was completely different than what they would see. And I was not within that bubble. So I had, I think, more access to different sources and to different information, because you have to remember the media is very propaganda based. So, right? But like, I'm educated and

Sophie (17:22.21)
massively.

Kelsey (17:28.516)
was taught that I have to look for different sources. And then I've also been very privileged enough, great that I busted my butt to do it, to live outside the country for an extended period of time. So I was able to see from an outside perspective in. And I actually learned quite a few things about my own country that I had never realized because of living in the US. And I was like, it's very interesting. I would have never realized this had I been still in the US.

because you receive different information, you see different views and different angles. And so I have these things working for me in terms of like being able to recognize, this post, does grab me. gives me the attempt, like I grabbed my attention and it stimulated some emotions. And I can go and look at the sources being provided and I can recognize this is very biased in one direction or the other. And then I have to go and do the legwork to find the information elsewhere.

Sophie (18:23.928)
Yeah.

Kelsey (18:25.228)
I do think there are a lot of things happening that in one way people are like, this is supposed to protect us, but in the other way, it's really trampling on people's abilities and basic rights based on people with certain economic standings, lower education, lower socioeconomic status.

Sophie (18:47.393)
Women.

women. Like for me, like when I look at stuff like that I do see pop up and it's obviously I think I get more targeted more than like the different like economic groups. It's more like the stuff that's targeted towards women and I just feel sad. Like I'm like how is that even possible that

Kelsey (18:51.832)
Women, yeah.

Kelsey (19:00.644)
women.

Kelsey (19:07.619)
Yeah.

Sophie (19:10.67)
We are in this, we are in 2025 and some of these things that even being considered like that doesn't make any sense to me. And obviously I'm not in the U S I've only ever spent short periods of time in the U S I did spend quite a significant period of my life in New York for work, but I've never been somebody that has to, has to deal with that situation. So obviously I can't imagine how it feels to actually be living in the country and having to go through that and being from there, you are a passport holder, like

that can affect anything, any rights could be changed for you, right? So it is scary. I look at it I'm like, my God, like, and the US is such a...

huge influence for the rest of the world so whatever happens there you can definitely bet that some kind of trickle-over effect is going to happen elsewhere in other places as well so I totally I can see like how scary it could be like and I'm only seeing 1 % of what you guys are seeing over there

Kelsey (20:17.486)
Yeah, and I'm someone who like, I will be very blunt here and say, I think that the system is broken. I think that it's very hard to have significant change from an individual standpoint, right? So for me, who is someone who is not involved in the government, I do not come from a wealthy family. I do not come from a political family. I'm not involved in government institutions, right?

me as one little person is very hard for me to enact change. And I know this is where that the saying is, like, okay, so start from your local level, right? It all starts with who you nominate to govern your town, to govern your city and your district. And then from there it moves up. so paying attention to those things and when you can vote on certain aspects, if you feel that your vote matters, right?

That's a whole other kind of route you can go down. Does your vote actually count at certain times? Do what you can that's within your control. the other aspect, so that aside, put that aside, knowing that on a daily basis, what's in my control is that I don't want to watch the news. I do not want to hear every single day what our president, Dem Republican, what I don't need to hear every day.

what's happening. When I want to check in and review and see like, okay, is there something happening? Is there something I can vote for? Is there something I can be involved in? Then I can choose to do that. But when you're bombarded by it, that's where you have to start putting in more firm boundaries, I believe, because it's just going to feed into the anxiety. And I know some people listening to this might be like, well, Kelsey, it's so everything that's happening right now is happening fast.

and loud and intense, right? Like it's really impacting people's individual rights on a day by day basis. And I feel for them, I feel for that, I really do. Again, I guess how I look at it is I come from a house with a lot of trauma. Like I was on my own at 16, there was a lot of abuse in my house, I have not had anybody help, I have not really had a lot of help my whole life.

Kelsey (22:40.878)
can look at that situation and really let it feed my anxiety and feed my fears and feed my depression. I've had major depressive episodes and things like that, but I don't want to be broken by that. I don't want to be kept down by that. I am going to focus on what is within my control and how I can manage that. And I think this is kind of the same situation. So for certain people, what's happening in the political atmosphere, it's a toxic, abusive, not

great situation and I hear that I see that I recognize your feelings and it's important to acknowledge those things but at the end of the day right we can't there's nothing I can do to change that for you right now or for like right for myself you know I I cried when Roe vs Wade was turned over but I'm not gonna sit here and like let it consume every moment and thought of my day I'm gonna focus on what I can control

and how I manage my day-to-day emotions. And I don't want to be bombarded by things. So I delete things now that like, if they put a political post, deleted, you're out. I don't care in what direction it is. I don't want to see it. There are a couple of accounts that I do follow because that's where I get like an update of did something happen? And then from there I go off of the platform and I go and do my own research. But like, I don't turn on the news. you know, I don't want to be having these conversations with

family members. know there's a lot of family and friends that have different political beliefs. For example, there's a new group of friends that we have, and I didn't know this, that we have very different, I think, political beliefs. And it just, it was very brief, like how I found out there was no interaction or anything like that. Guess what? We don't talk about politics.

We like to go out and do the activities that we like to do with one another and we have a great time. They are wonderful people. They are fantastic. We don't talk about politics. What they want to invest in and believe in is totally for them. And they are some of the kindest, most supporting and caring people I have ever met. And we have a great time. We don't need to go, part of my friends, balls deep into each other's beliefs.

Kelsey (24:56.744)
And I see older generations, like for example, the boomers in at least here in the US, all they want to talk about is politics. They want to drive certain points. And it's like, that's cool, man. You can have that conversation with somebody else. I don't need to be that person. Right?

Sophie (25:13.166)
Yeah, it's true. think regardless of what subject we're talking about on the news, it could be anything, right? If it starts to impact you mentally or physically, whatever, you have to learn to set your boundaries, remove yourself, find what...

what you can absorb within your boundaries and what you don't. Or find your reliable sources to trust and not trust because exactly what you said, there's just so much misinformation out there and so many different contrasting beliefs, many bias one-sided beliefs. You have to be able to just tune into how you feel about what is being said and learn to trust that.

you don't have to absorb everything. You can understand the situation.

from the sources that you trust, but you don't need to absorb it every single second of every single day. And I completely get how addictive it can be, especially if it's directly impacting you. If you are somebody that a law has changed and that is going to impact your everyday life, I can totally appreciate that you wanna know everything about it. Because sometimes, even if it's not impacting my life, let's just say for example, the LA fires, right?

I have no friends in LA, I have nothing to do with LA, but obviously I was like, oh my gosh, this is wild. A whole neighborhood has been taken out. I was being fed that. even though I'm on the other side of the world, I do not need to keep up with the news every day. because it was being fed to me, I started to become addicted to knowing what was happening. I was like, oh my gosh, this is...

Sophie (27:03.896)
this is absolutely crazy and I wanted to know more and I completely get that we can get so sucked in because we want to understand, we want to be able to comprehend but I guess what we need to be able to do like if that because that actually started to impact me again I'm on the other side well like I don't have any I've not lost anything in that situation like it's not directly impacting me but I had so much empathy for like all the people that were going through that but at the same time I can I should be able to have empathy but also remove myself a little bit and set the boundary

of what I'm consuming, particularly on social media, to be able to say, know what Sophie, this doesn't really serve you a purpose right now. You can have empathy, you can have compassion for all of the things that these people are going through and you can understand that that situation is not okay.

you need to let, this is impacting you mentally now, you need to remove yourself from that situation. And I think we need, we need to start understanding that we can remove ourselves. We don't have to be sucked in by the news. think going back what you just said, like about like boomers, I grew up.

with my parents watching the news, grew up like you'd come home from school and the news would be on. There was even like a, there was even like a kids, again, we're from the generation where we didn't get smart phones until later on, so we didn't have social media element of that when we were growing up. But I remember coming home from school and there would be this kids like news show, it be called News Round, right? And it was like kid news, but for kids, in like a fun kids way. So we've just been told that we have to absorb all of the information that we're fed and all of the news that we've been given.

Kelsey (28:26.509)
Yeah?

Sophie (28:38.56)
and that that's a normal thing to do. But actually, I've learned in my adult life, I don't want to watch the news every day. I don't want to read the news. Sometimes I...

dip in it if I know something big is happening. if I, if for example, I was, I was living in the US and I knew the elections are happening, I would dip into that, like and understand what I needed to understand. But I would try to stay as far away from it as I possibly could and only, only maybe compartmentalize and look at the things that were directly going to impact me. But exactly what you said, like there's so many things that are going to be out of our control. And I think we have to be able to focus on the things that are in our control, which is our reaction to the

Kelsey (28:51.982)
Right.

Sophie (29:18.804)
that is going to be happening like how do we proceed like okay if that is directly impacting my everyday life what am I going to do how am I going to be able to if you can't change the situation as it is what can you change about the situation to make it more bearable for yourself or and again this is coming from some place of naivety me saying this right because I don't know what rules have been changed or like how that is impacting people but

I do know that like we can only control our reaction to something so that's why I'm getting up with that point is you know like you just have to be able to say okay right now there is absolutely nothing I can do about that situation I want to understand the situation so understand as much as you possibly can but then focus on the thing that's in your control and that is gonna really

be a massive weight off of your shoulders because if we focus on the things that we can't control, it just bogs us down, bogs us down, and we're just going to get stuck in a place where even if there was something then that potentially came up that we could change, could control, we're not going to have the energy to do so, right? We're not going to have the energy to invest in it because we've been so sucked into all of the negativity and all of the things that haven't been making us feel good. So I feel like that's a really important point, like to focus on the things that only we can.

Kelsey (30:31.118)
Yeah.

Sophie (30:35.202)
We can't control, we can't change.

Kelsey (30:36.354)
Yeah. Yeah, I think like what it sums up to and I know anyone who listens to anything about mental health or anything like that, your your like term, the key to always focus on is boundaries. And it's not about just boundaries with other people, but it's about setting boundaries with yourself. Like, I know I have some friends like they love the news, but they like so they over consume it. And it's like

And then they start feeling like crap and they're like, why do I feel like crap? And it's like, well, you have to, you have to regulate yourself, right? The idea is that when we're children, our parents help us learn to regulate and they help partially regulate for us. And then as we become adults, we need to learn to regulate. And I understand that a lot of the previous generations didn't know how to regulate themselves and therefore struggled to regulate and help their children learn to regulate. And so.

adults there's you know I think our generation and younger generations we have really stepped into those shoes of trying to regulate better to parent ourselves as much as we need and that looks like setting boundaries setting boundaries for yourself on what is your social media use what is your you know news watching behavior and habit and the types of conversations that you're having now

obviously right, setting boundaries with others because we can't control other people and how they speak to us and things like that. I understand that it comes and I want to acknowledge this. comes with this added layer when you start to learn that close people in your life, friends and family share very different beliefs about specific things that might affect you. Right. So as someone who believes that like my body is my right, it's my autonomy and how I take care of myself.

when someone tells me that I don't deserve that right for whatever reason, it's very upsetting to me. And if I had a family member who was in my face about it a lot, that would really cause a rift in the relationship and it comes with a whole nother, know, boast of emotions. And I think that...

Kelsey (32:45.814)
I want to say that it really sucks. know that this might be more intense for people who are in the LGBTQ community. I know even with like immigrants or other people of minorities that are legal in the US, right, these problems exist everywhere in the world, mind you. This is not just the US, like racism, xenophobia, misogyny, all this exists everywhere else in the world, just under different contexts. And so I think when it...

it starts to become apparent that it's within your really core unit, I want to acknowledge that that sucks. And I'm sorry, it hurts to not feel supported by the people that you love and that you feel should support you. But again, this comes back to that kind of analogy, right? I came from a family that had a lot of abuse and a lot of anger and they did not, they did not help.

I did not have parents. My mom was not what your mom should be, right? Like things like that. And I remember this distinct thing that my therapist told me. And she said, sometimes people just aren't capable of meeting you where they're supposed to meet you, right? So when you think of a mom, a mom is supposed to do X, Y, and Z to support their child, right? That's the idea.

You have a kid, you want to support them and help them grow up and they're just not capable of doing it for variety of reasons because of maybe their own baggage, their own trauma, their own poor decisions, whatever it is. It doesn't matter what the reason is. At the end of the day, they're not showing up how they're supposed to be showing up and that's out of your control. And so unfortunately, as much as it sucks, right? The trauma is not your responsibility, but the healing is.

is. And you have to somehow grasp within yourself, right? I can love this person from afar. I can have a different type of relationship with them, but accept that it's never going to be the relationship that maybe you wanted. And that's hard. That takes a lot of cognitive reframing. That takes a lot of self-love and self-awareness and self-care and

Kelsey (35:09.134)
But again, it comes to recognizing that, acknowledging it and the feelings that come with it and then setting the boundaries to protect yourself. So boundaries for you, boundaries for them.

Sophie (35:16.174)
Definitely, think boundaries are key. So many people don't understand how to set them though and don't even really understand that they're needed. like in terms of someone that like knows that they're not fit, they're feeling overwhelmed, they're not feeling like they want to engage with certain people because of their certain beliefs. What process like have you personally been doing to regulate yourself and like...

bring yourself back to neutral when you start seeing all of these posts or you start seeing, you start feeling all of the fills to it. Like what processing techniques can we give people that is struggling with this and struggling with setting the boundaries? Like what would you do right now? And then what would we recommend do you think?

Kelsey (36:02.124)
Yeah, well, think like if you don't know how to set boundaries, I think that it would probably be really helpful to get outside support because it's hard. If you don't have the self-awareness and then you don't know how to go about having the self-awareness, going to therapy, that's the sound board that you need where you can express all your thoughts and feelings. You could word vomit onto this person and then they...

just reflect it back to you into a different, right? It's like taking a ball of yarn and the ball of yarn is your thoughts and then it's pulling out each individual thoughts so you can see it more clearly, right? That's what therapy does. It doesn't necessarily always heal you, self-gaining that self-awareness is the first step. So I would say, right, if you're not gonna do it in therapy, you need to start paying attention to your thoughts and your feelings, right? When I'm having big feelings, what is this big feeling about? And then follow the thoughts.

that come from that big feeling. You could do that through journaling, right? And then you need to learn how to emotionally regulate. How can I move myself from this activated fight, flight, freeze mode and bring myself into a more relaxed state so that I can be more regulated in my nervous system? And everyone's heard me talk about this, but simple breathing exercises can do this. Exercise, walking.

talking just with like someone that is a loved one that you feel in a safe space with, like those things can help regulate your nervous system. And then when you're in a more regulated spot, that's when you can start making decisions about the boundaries. Like, okay, so I had these big feelings from these thoughts and it led to me feeling even more X, Y, and Z. I recognize that this came from this situation, this person, this experience.

How can you put a boundary in place, whether it's for you to not engage in a certain behavior or for how you will handle it when it comes up because it's someone else that you need to put a boundary with, right? And you need to prepare and you need to create a plan of attack and then have that somewhere that's accessible so you can remember and it's gonna be a process of practice of.

Sophie (37:59.683)
you

Kelsey (38:11.972)
trying to implement it. Think of it like a habit, right? No one nails the habit on the first time of doing it. It's like, I try, I kind of mess it up, and then I try a little bit, maybe I take a break because I feel like I failed, and then you try again. It's the same idea with putting boundaries into place. And so I think, right, if we were to sum that all up, it would be like acknowledging the thoughts, acknowledging the feelings, allowing yourself a moment to feel it, and then.

doing something actively to regulate your nervous system to bring you back into that relaxed state where you can think from your prefrontal cortex and not from your amygdala. And then look at the decision objectively from the outside and decide where are the boundaries I need to put in place for myself or for others, and then create that plan of attack. And then practice that plan of attack and do what you can with what you have in the moment to the best of your ability.

Sophie (38:44.128)
Thank

Sophie (39:03.566)
Yeah, definitely. I think as well, going back to the obviously you mentioned, if you're trying to talk through how to set the boundaries or talk, like work through any of emotions, obviously, you mentioned therapists, not everybody obviously has that therapist, the other route you could potentially go down might be journaling, like get all of your thoughts out onto paper. Because then when you start reflecting back onto your thoughts, you might be able to pick out things you're like, oh, well, this is the part that makes me feel uncomfortable. So maybe that's the bit that I need to set the boundary around, for example. So I feel like

that could be also quite a useful tool in times like this. Just dump all of the feelings that you're feeling. If you've got a person in your life that you think is projecting their opinions over onto you and you're frustrated by that, write about it, talk about how that's making you feel and then you're gonna start to be able to debunk and uncover all of the things that maybe you would in that therapy session anyway.

Kelsey (39:57.849)
Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, that's a great additive. And I think one more thing that I would add here because dealing with all this can feel very isolating. I think that's one of the biggest things that people are starting to feel. They're alone and they're like, there are things happening around me that there's nothing I can do about. And I feel like, you know, there's a lot of people against me, right? It's very isolating. There are billions of people in this world. If you are feeling it,

If you are thinking it, if you are experiencing it, I can guarantee there's at least one other person somewhere in the near vicinity who is thinking and feeling the same thing and experiencing the same thing. And so finding the group of people that you do feel safe with, finding the group of people that you can have the conversations with when you're in a regulated spot, not, right? Like we're not trying to feed the fear mongering. We're not trying to heighten.

the situation, it's more so about can you have a calm conversation. So when I feel particularly upset about something and I've calmed down, I will talk to my boyfriend about it and I'll be like, hey, I'm having some big feelings about this and this makes me really concerned. And having someone who will listen to me and say like, yeah, I get that and I can see that that scares you and that is, this is not a great situation, right? He can't do anything to change the situation.

He can't fix it for me, but I feel safe enough that I can have this conversation with him and we can both be on the same page. And then I do have other friends that I know have similar mindsets to me about certain things. And if I wanna have that conversation or if I'm like, hey, have you heard about this? Do you actually know more details? I haven't been able to find anything to write to help with the education of it. I have my community of people that I can go to and I think it is important.

to form communities during times of upheaval and distress, right? We need other people. And I think women understand, I think biologically women turn to other women during distressing times, men typically not so much. And so this is basically just one more reminder that you are not alone. And aside from these other things we're talking about in terms of setting boundaries and helping yourself regulate.

Kelsey (42:20.772)
Go find your people, find the group of people who you can feel safe with and supported with and have the calm and open conversations with because at the end of the day, that's truly where change comes from. It comes from having those calm and free open discussions. And maybe one day you'll have a discussion with someone who doesn't quite align with you and you guys can start to come, not to always say compromise, but start to see alternative perspectives. And then that has a ripple effect for people to be able to expand their thinking.

Sophie (42:51.554)
Yeah, definitely. Just something that just randomly popped into my head while she was saying that. again, someone that is so far removed from the situation in the US, I'm just asking a question out of genuine curiosity.

Are there, is there two sides to this? Like, can you also see any positives in that situation? Obviously, I understand that there are plenty of negatives, like, for certain people to come out of the changes that are going to be happening. But would you say, from your point of view, like, that there is anything that you could hold on to, like, some kind of hope or positivity or something that's, like, giving you, making you feel more comfortable with anything that isn't

going in the way that you want it to go or like is there anything you can find comfort in for example

Kelsey (43:45.624)
Yeah, I think that... Yeah, no that's a... That's a great question. I think that...

Sophie (43:47.17)
curiosity, that's just a, from my own personal perspective question.

Kelsey (43:57.669)
I think that change is the only constant in life, right?

I think that if we've changed things before, we can change things again.

And I think that, again, the system here is very broken. But this is why progress, I believe, is so slow in the US, because typically what you see, a pattern is, we have conservatives in our government. Like right now, the entire House, the Senate, the President, it's all Republican, right?

And I think that's the first time in a very long time, but typically you'll see like, let's just use the president as an example. We'll have a Republican president, then we have a Democrat, then we have a Republican, then we have a Democrat. And it goes back and forth typically. What happens is, is the pendulum swinging. People are unhappy with what's happening in the country, regardless of who's in power. And so therefore, when it comes to the next term, the next election, it swings in the other direction. The ideal, right, is where...

that pendulum finally stops swinging too far in one direction and it gets to a steady middle, right? Where we're kind of in the same ground. Will we ever be at that point? I don't know. I don't think so with the current political structure that we have. I'm not, that is not my area of expertise. That's just a belief of mine. But I think that we see change in every term. Things go back and forth.

Kelsey (45:30.542)
For me, on a personal level, I am privileged enough to have a very strong passport. So if things really are not going well and I'm not enjoying the atmosphere, I can get out. I can go elsewhere. I know that not a lot of people can do that. I think at the end of the day, humanity is strong. And I guess this is gonna tie into travel and you'll be able to...

to speak to this as well. When I first was leaving the country and I was going places like Vietnam, Indonesia, Australia, wherever, people were like, my God, like Vietnam in particular, you're gonna go to Vietnam or I went to Columbia and I lived in Columbia last year. my God, you're gonna die, it's so dangerous. Like people are terrified, again, fear mongering, right? My experience in traveling the world is that people are inherently good. People want to help.

People wanna show you their culture. People want to connect with one another. I mean, in our biological DNA, if you break it all the way down, we are meant to connect and build relationships and procreate and grow and build. We are an organism that we want to continue to exist and survive. And that happens through community and connection.

So I think that's where my mind goes. Change is the only concept we have. If we've done it before, we can change again. And I like to believe in the inherent goodness of humanity.

Sophie (47:07.596)
Nice. The reason I ask that question is just like, obviously, hope brings a lot more kind of like peace to people. Like, so if there is something that you can obviously...

Fill your fills about all of the negative things that you perceive to be happening for sure. But like if you, if there's something that you can hold onto that you can see like some kind of hope in it, that is sometimes what is going to get you through. So even if none of the other things that we've suggested to resonate, maybe that might. So that's just why I wanted to ask that question, just to see if there was something else that people could kind of like look at and focus their attention on rather than just be sucked in by all of the shit that they're seeing.

online basically.

Kelsey (47:51.525)
Yeah, and I think this is gonna be a little bit of an intense statement. We're only here for a short amount of time. Like the individual lifespan is super, super short. And can some really bad things happen during that period of time? 100%. 100 % can. But I think like, just, I'm trying to live life to the best that I can with what I have and experience what...

It brings me fulfillment and happiness and to do it in a safe enough way, right? And I think that's all that we could do. We could do the best that we can with what we have and try to make things happen for you, right? At end of the day, the things that happen to us are not our responsibility, but it is our responsibility to handle it, to grow through it, and then to thrive. Right? And then we all die. So like...

Sophie (48:52.526)
And on that note, but yeah, no, you're completely right. You're completely right. We have to make the best of whatever situation we're in, right? It's essentially what you're saying because we're not, we're not going to be here forever. So we might as well try and find something to...

Kelsey (48:56.696)
But you know what I mean?

Sophie (49:07.95)
to enjoy whilst we are here. So yes, don't get me wrong, crappy things happen in life, bad situations happen, percent, whatever, but at the end of the day we are already here for a short period of time and if we can try and find something to make it easier for us in that time then absolutely we should be doing that.

Kelsey (49:27.908)
Yeah, and this will be a good positive note to end on. Like I said, 2025, we are in a very, very unique position with the access that we have to everything with the internet. So your ability to make money, to build connections, right? Right? It can go the other way where we're bombarded with like negative connections and, you know, we can lose more, like things like that. But our ability, no matter what your socioeconomic status is,

Some have more barriers than others. I'm not saying that some people have it easier than others, for sure. But today, think there's like, mean, at least like six billion in the world, whereas our population, like eight billion, six or seven billion have access to internet or can get access, maybe not consistent access, but has access to internet. We have more resources and tools at our hands.

to make the changes that we wanna see for ourselves, at least on an individual level. So, right, if it's like a matter of, I don't wanna live here anymore, but I can't afford to go somewhere else, well, you have the tools at your hands to figure out how to make money or how to get a job in another country. And all the countries that have been opening up visas and job applications for foreigners, if there's a will, there's a way. And I think, yeah, we're in just this unique

Sophie (50:47.822)
That's the way I believe as well.

Kelsey (50:53.508)
right now where we have more access to this than we've ever had before.

Sophie (50:58.606)
No, I completely agree. Completely agree.

Kelsey (51:02.116)
So yeah, think maybe that's a great note to leave on. I know that this doesn't solve anything that's happening in the world. And as we said, you guys, you're not alone in this. It's still gonna be okay. And we're here to support you. And we're hoping that this gave just shed a little light and a little bit of love on the situation.

Sophie (51:25.562)
Thanks for sharing your opinions, thoughts and processing this with people. I think it's important to talk about, even though we're not trying to enforce any opinions or anything like that, we just want to have an open conversation about how it can impact somebody, particularly in relation to their mental health.

Kelsey (51:42.756)
Awesome. Alright, until next time guys.

Sophie (51:47.768)
Thanks for joining.