EP 17 Emotional Hoarding: Holding Onto Things and Emotions

EP 17 Emotional Hoarding: Holding Onto Things and Emotions

Welcome to this episode, where we dive deep into emotional hoarding—a topic close to my heart. You might be familiar with physical hoarding, where clutter takes over spaces like kitchens or bedrooms. Emotional hoarding works in much the same way but with our feelings. It’s about stockpiling emotions, especially the negative ones, and struggling to let them go.

I’ve seen this time and time again in my work with clients. It’s not an easy challenge to overcome, but with patience and the right tools, it’s absolutely possible—and worth the effort.

What is Emotional Hoarding?

Emotional hoarding is a defense mechanism. It’s about holding onto painful memories, negative self-judgments, or perfectionistic standards that weigh you down. You might even find yourself saving random items—papers, rubber bands, or empty bottles—because they represent something emotional you just can’t release.

This can be unconscious but incredibly impactful, leading to anxiety, depression, or strained relationships. I want to share some signs of emotional hoarding with you:

●      Prioritizing sorrow over joy.

●      Using past pain as a shield from present-day dangers.

●      Struggling with discarding anything, even when it doesn’t serve you.

●      Forming intense emotional attachments to objects.

If any of these resonate with you, know you’re not alone.

How Do We Address Emotional Hoarding?

Here’s what I know: We can’t tackle external challenges effectively if we don’t first take care of what’s happening inside. I’ve learned this for myself and seen it in the lives of my clients. Let’s focus on taking small, manageable steps:

1. Seek professional help if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
2. Start small—declutter one drawer, one corner, or one thought.
3. Set realistic goals and use a timer to stay focused.
4. Categorize items and reflect on why you’re holding onto them.
5. Practice mindfulness and decision-making strategies.
6. Celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

Change is hard, but it’s not impossible. Trust me when I say this—it’s about working with the flow of change, not resisting it.

What’s Next?

As we step into a new year, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by everything happening in the world. But remember, the most important work starts within. Let’s make a plan to jump into any big piles—physical or emotional—and tackle them, one step at a time.

Make it a habit to set an intention for your day and follow through. It’s comforting to stick to old habits, but true growth comes from stepping out of that comfort zone. This work isn’t easy, but it’s the foundation for real, lasting change.

If you’re looking for more inspiration, I recommend revisiting these episodes:

●      Ep 2: Change

●      Ep 10: Resilience

●      Ep 11: Dr. Lisa Smith – Meaningful Life

You can do this. Let’s work together to release the weight of emotional hoarding and embrace the freedom and joy that comes with letting go.

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