EP 27 Fear: Separate Fear from Anxiety and Master It!

So many people say they are anxious and afraid but there is a difference. I find that many people say they have anxiety and are struggling with focus when it is sometimes just fear.  In coaching I deal with a lot of fear of failure and fear of success. The perceived anxiety feels so real, but I want to look at fear vs anxiety.  When we are able to figure out the fear and address it and break it down then we are able to move forward without the anxiety. 

Anxiety and fear are often confused, but anxiety is more about anticipating potential future threats rather than responding to immediate danger. It's like fear's forward-looking cousin.

Things that seem like fear but are not:

1.     Excitement/anticipation 

2.     Awe 

3.     Intense surprise 

4.     Phobic disgust – like fear of snakes

Distinguish between fear and anxiety:

1.     Time orientation: Fear is about the present, anxiety is often about the future or past. 

2.     Specificity: Fear has a clear trigger or object, anxiety may be triggered without a tangible threat present. 

3.     Duration: Fear typically subsides once the threat is gone. Anxiety lasts longer.

4.     Physical response:

Fear triggers an intense, immediate fight-or-flight response (racing heart, sweating, tunnel vision)

5.     Anxiety often produces more gradual physical symptoms like muscle tension, fatigue, and difficulty concentrating.

6.     Rationality: Fear is usually proportional Control: With fear, taking action (like running from danger) typically helps resolve the feeling. Anxiety can feel less controllable and may not be relieved by direct action to a real threat. For example, being startled by a snake on a hiking trail is fear, while worrying about possibly encountering snakes on future hikes is anxiety.

Here are some key approaches to help you prepare and manage fear before it arises:

1.     Understand Your Triggers – Identify what specifically makes you anxious in tense situations so you can prepare for those moments.

2.     Visualize Success – Picture yourself handling the situation confidently. This mental rehearsal reduces anxiety and increases preparedness.

3.     Practice Controlled Breathing – Techniques like box breathing (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4) can help calm your nervous system.

4.     Develop a Plan – Have a clear strategy for how you will navigate the situation. Knowing your next steps can ease uncertainty.

5.     Use Positive Self-Talk – Replace negative thoughts with empowering ones, such as "I am prepared" or "I can handle this."

6.     Physical Preparation – Engage in activities that reduce tension, such as stretching, light exercise, or relaxation techniques.

7.     Reframe Fear as Excitement – Instead of seeing fear as a threat, view it as energy that can help you perform better.

8.     Practice in Low-Stakes Environments – If possible, expose yourself to similar but lower-pressure situations to build confidence over time.

For more on handling fear listen Episode 2 for handling change and planning for it and Episode 8 stress and anxiety. 

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