EP 55 Agency: How to Get It Back!

Here we want to look at knowing when agency is being lost and how to get it back. Find ways to get agency back in your life. 

When you catch yourself saying 'I don't have a choice here,' pause. That sentence is almost never literally true. What is true is that the choices available to you feel confusing maybe, uncomfortable often, costly, or uncertain. That's different. Uncomfortable choices are still choices. And making them is still agency

Reclaiming Agency Is Not a Motivation Problem. It's a Practice Problem.

A method for fixing the loss of agency It's a repeatable practice, something you return to whenever you feel the drift beginning. Work through each step thoughtfully, with examples and client stories where you have them.

1.     Name Where You've Outsourced Power

"You cannot reclaim what you won't name."

•        An honest inventory.

•        Ask yourself: Where am I waiting for someone else's approval before I act? 

•        Where do you outsource power?

•        Naming is not blaming. Mapping your road..

2.     Shrink the Decision Window

•        Small decisions rebuild the neural pathway of 'I can.'

•        Belief in your own capability. Small wins are evidence.

•        Make one decision in the next hour that is entirely yours. 

3.      Rebuild Self-Trust

•        Self-trust is rebuilt small, consistent kept promises.

•        Track small wins 

•        Do hard things in safe increments. 

•        Keep promises to yourself.

4.      Practice Intentional Discomfort

•        Agency grows in direct proportion to your willingness to act before you feel ready.

•        Create Boundaries. Say no to something this week. 

•        Ask for something you need., 

•        The discomfort is the practice. 

5.   Replace 'I Have To' with 'I Choose To'

•        Language is not just description. It is instruction. When you say 'I have to,' you are telling your brain that you are not in control. When you say 'I choose to,' you are telling your brain that you are the author.

How Do You Know Agency Is Coming Back?

•        You are making decisions 

•        Your boundaries are firmer

•        You are less exhausted by decisions 

•        You catch yourself sooner

•        You feel more present in your own daily 

•        The question 'What do I want?' is becoming answerable again

•        You are keeping more promises to yourself 

The Daily Check-In Question

End each day with one simple question: What did I choose today?

Agency is not a personality trait you either have or don't. It is not a reward for having your life together. It is not something you earn when things get easier.

It is available to you right now, in the life you have, with the resources you currently hold, the moment you decide to stop waiting for permission to live it.

Books Referenced in This Episode

•        Atomic Habits by James Clear 

•        Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lembke 

•        The Sign Up! Method — Stephanie York's upcoming book