Filling Your Own Cup: Self-Care Beyond Bubble Baths with Marney Henze

This October on The ModernZen Collective Podcast, we’re moving through our theme of Rituals of Restoration — and this week, we’re talking about what it really means to fill your own cup.

Self-care often gets reduced to bubble baths and surface rituals. While those can be lovely, true restoration goes deeper. In this episode, Lizzy sits down with Marney Henze, a yoga teacher, sound healer, and spiritual alchemist based in Sedona, Arizona. Marney creates soulful sanctuaries through yoga, meditation, sound, and creative ritual — guiding others to replenish, renew, and reconnect with themselves.

Together, we explore:
 ✨ The journey that shifted Marney’s yoga practice from physical to spiritual.
 ✨ How to redefine self-care in a way that genuinely restores energy.
 ✨ The role of sound, mantra, and voice as tools for restoration.
 ✨ Why creative rituals like mala-making can be deeply healing.
 ✨ Simple meditation practices you can integrate into your everyday life.

This is a conversation about going beyond surface-level self-care and stepping into practices that truly nourish the body, mind, and spirit. 🌙✨

Connect with Marney on Instagram @marney.henze & check out her offerings in the MZC Practitioner Collective.

Listener Reflection Questions:

1. What does filling my own cup mean to me right now — and how has that definition changed over time?
2. Which practices genuinely restore my energy (not just bring temporary comfort)?
3. How does sound — music, mantra, or even my own voice — support my healing and renewal?
4. What role does creativity (like journaling, movement, or ritual) play in my self-care?
5. What is one simple restorative practice I can integrate into my daily rhythm this week?

Thanks for listening to The ModernZen Collective Podcast.

✨ Want to stay connected between episodes? Join our email community to receive first access to new offerings, seasonal challenges, and exclusive wisdom from The ModernZen Collective—straight to your inbox.

💫 Looking for deeper guidance on your path? Explore our vetted, curated Collective of holistic practitioners—perfect if you're ready to deepen your practice or fast-track your transformation with expert support.

🌿 Follow us on Instagram @modernzenco & personally at @lizzysutton.co & @nikki.sucevic

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome to Restoration Month
• 1:21 Why Slow, Why Now
• 2:37 Month Plan: Rest, Rituals, Sound
• 4:11 Redefining Self-Care Beyond Aesthetics
• 6:48 Meet Marnie: From Asana to Alchemy
• 9:55 Kriya Breakthrough and Nervous System
• 12:40 Growth, Awareness, and Daily Showing Up
• 14:41 What Self-Care Really Means
• 17:25 Practices That Fill vs. Soothe
• 21:20 Yoga Shapes as Life Shapes
• 26:40 Teaching Transitions and New Doors
• 30:18 Meditation for Busy Seasons
• 33:19 One Simple Restorative Practice Today
• 36:33 Sound Healing: Ancient Waves, Modern Need
• 41:18 Voice, Grief, and Finding Alignment
• 45:04 Instruments, Frequency, and Rest-Digest
• 49:05 Channeling, Trust, and Co-Creation
• 52:38 Pregnancy, Imprints, and Sound

Transcript

SPEAKER_02: 0:13

Hi, I'm Lucy. And I'm Nicky.

SPEAKER_04: 0:17

Have you ever thought that your life was missing purpose? Joy or deconnection? Welcome to the Modern S collective podcast, where we embrace holistic living for joyful purpose to the life.

SPEAKER_01: 0:38

Mind, body, spirit, spirit, secret, culture, coming out, accent. Together we ate guide, educate, expect individuals to transform their lives.

SPEAKER_02: 0:48

Join us weekly on the Modern Zen Collective podcast and elevate your mind, body, and spirit. And now on to today's episode.

SPEAKER_04: 1:21

An invitation to slow down, replenish, and honor the rhythms of the season. In a world that glorifies hustle, we're choosing to rest, we're choosing to reflect, and we're choosing to restore. And we're inviting you to join us. All month long, we'll explore the many ways restoration shows up, from reclaiming rest as resistance to reimagining self-care with our special guest and practitioner collective member Marnie Hines, to navigating the sacred space of late October when the veil between worlds feels thin, and finally weaving renewal into the everyday rituals of your life. Alongside these conversations, we'll also guide you through cozy practices like meditation and yoga nitra to help you embody restoration in real time. So grab your blanket, light a candle, and join us for this month of rituals of restoration. Let's restore together.

SPEAKER_02: 2:31

Self-care often gets watered down to bubble baths and face masks, and while those can be beautiful, they don't always reach the deeper layers of what our bodies, hearts, and spirits are craving. Through restoration is about tuning inward and discovering what genuinely replenishes us. And to help us explore this, I'm joined by a very special guest from our practitioner collective, Marnie Heinz. Marnie is a yoga teacher, sound healer, and a spiritual alchemist based in Sedona, Arizona. Beautiful Sedona. And her journey began with a purely physical yoga practice, but a powerful encounter with Korea Yoga opened her heart and revealed the spiritual depth of this path. So since then, she's traveled the world to deepen her practice, led retreats, and guided thousands of people through yoga, meditation, sound, and ceremony. Marnie has a gift for weaving intention and sound together to create a deeply healing experience. And today she's sharing her wisdom on what self-care really looks like beyond the surface level. How sound and ritual can restore us, and simple practices you can bring into your everyday life. You know, Nikki and I love to bring you some practices. I am so excited for you to hear this conversation. It's nourishing, it's practical, and it's an awesome invitation to step into true restoration. So let's dive in.

SPEAKER_04: 3:55

I want to dive right into your journey. And I know it's I saw that you described your work as creating soulful sanctuaries. And I'm really curious what first inspired you on this path.

SPEAKER_05: 4:10

Yeah, so thank you for that. I really appreciate it. This um journey, this path has been like ever unfolding, and it started with like my own um like self-inquiry or just just wanting to know a little more, dive a little bit deeper, right? I was, you know, when I really started this yoga journey, I would say was, I mean, I guess when I was born, but honestly, I started practicing yoga in 2008, and then I lived in LA. I was going to a fashion design school, and they, my apartment complex offered free yoga, and I was I was loving it, but it was strictly physical. I would go like five days a week, and I was like, I can do headstands, I can do all these things. And then fast forward to years later, um, my mom was sick. She was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I didn't, I was so young at the time, and I didn't know how to cope. I didn't know what to do. You know, I remember growing up and my my grandparents having Alzheimer's or like hearing that like much older people had Alzheimer's. So it was really hard for me to understand like what was happening to my mom, this person that like was my rock, my cheerleader. So I was I was doing all the wrong things to just numb myself, just to cope. And I remember like waking up one day and I was like, I can't live like this anymore. Like sleeping in till noon, like being out, having late nights, just not taking care of myself. It was self-destruction. And I started practicing yoga again. And a specific class that I took introduced like some Kriyas, which is a breathwork technique. Um, it's this expansion of energy. And within that moment, something shifted within me. And I feel like my heart like cracked open and I was like, I don't know what is happening, but I want more of this. So I just kept going and I was also going to therapy. And within that time frame, my therapist was also like, wow, this yoga has really helped you and shifted you. Cause I used to be such so triggered all the time and so reactive with the littlest things. I I didn't know how to be present, I didn't know how to connect to my breath, I didn't know how to self-regulate because I mean, we I wasn't taught that. We weren't really taught that. Um so it was just this unfolding and really like peeling all these layers and these labels and the identities and just really dedicating time for myself to show up on my mat, to show up with my meditation, to just show up for myself day in and day out, even when I really didn't feel like it. And also I would feel like this self-care or my growth would be about like I last year I was talking, someone asked me, I was like, I feel like I've grown so much. And someone was saying, What does growth mean to you? And I said, you know, I feel like it means this awareness, having self-awareness for what I need.

SPEAKER_04: 7:17

I love that. And you mentioned your own definition of growth. Well, what's your own definition of self-care then?

SPEAKER_05: 7:25

My own definition of self-care is really just like what is it, what is it that you need in that moment of time? Like, how can you take care of yourself? Like it it can be going on a trip or a spa day, but it's like really these micro moments that you need. Like I believe self-care is honestly this maintenance so we don't like burn ourselves out. So we can pause and take time to just see where you are or where I am in that moment. It's always just checking in. Self-care can be a moment of just checking in with your breath.

SPEAKER_04: 8:06

Yeah, I love that. No, I love that. It's it's that it's the pause for the awareness for the moment to have the awareness to check in and then decide to do something about it. And I feel like for me, I feel like something that comforts me in the moment is a little bit different than something that I would do for self-care that would fill up my cup in terms of like restoring me. Do you have practices that you personally do that are different for helping you just get through the moment that you're in versus something that really fills you back up?

SPEAKER_05: 8:44

Yes. So, what fills me up is um dancing, moving my body daily is so important for me to just move any stagnant energy or just to feel free and in my body so that I can really be in tune with what is going on from the inside out. Um, I would say yoga being on my mat um is such a beautiful practice. It's, I mean, that's like my foundation, that's where it all started. So it's this coming back home and just moving my body through through the poses, being in these shapes. Cause, you know, yoga is all about, it's literally translates as union to yoke. So bringing the mind, the body, the spirit all together to harmony. Um, and we're making shapes in the class. Some shapes are harder than others, and it's, I don't want to say the shapes are relevant, but it's to translate when we are out in the world living our lives and making different shapes, whether we're in the driver's seat shape and someone cut us off, what are we gonna do in that moment? Are we gonna expend our energy and get all riled up and mad and dysregulated? Or are we gonna be like, huh, that person must have really just needed to get to wherever they're going or to recognize, like, oh, that that's annoying. But am I gonna react to it and am I gonna let that stir up my day? So these practices that we do on our mat are really to help when we're off of the mat. That's when the real practice comes into place. So yoga is super important. Like even when we're gonna have a hard conversation shape, like what how what are we doing? Are we connecting to our breath? Can we stay centered and not be so get into our mind because then we can get really angry and upset, and the conversation might not go how we planned because we weren't a because we escalated. Um, and then meditation.

SPEAKER_04: 10:41

That's so hearing you say the whole yoga gets you into shapes, and then, oh, in your driver's seat shape or in your conversation shape, I have never literally never thought about it in that way before. I went through my yoga teacher training 200 over COVID, and luckily I was able to be in person because it lived in Texas and it was a small enough group. So it was wonderful. But in all the training and all the hours that I've taught yoga, I've never thought about it in that way. And I just love that perspective change of like, okay, what I'm doing right now, it's a shape that I do in yoga. And what would I be doing in yoga in this moment that I could bring to this moment right now and what I'm feeling and what I'm about to choose to do, you know, say or not say or react or not react, you know? That's so interesting. I love that so much.

SPEAKER_05: 11:38

Yes. Thank you. My one of my friends and I, he, we would always talk about, like, I would be like, oh, I have to have this conversation. And he would be like, stay in the shape, like you're in triangle shape. I'd be like, oh yeah. It's like, okay, how would I, what would I do right now? How would I adjust? Okay, breathe a little bit more length in my spine. You know, it's just this, it's this mirror. And that has really helped me just develop that awareness, like, oh, here I am. Like, I'm just in this shape now, in this environment, in this conversation with my breath, you know. So that's that's really helped me.

SPEAKER_04: 12:12

Yeah, that's I love that so much because I feel like yoga always helps us. There's no way to do yin yoga or some sort of slow flow yoga without learning how to breathe into the uncomfortable feeling and breathe through it into the other side. So I've always seen it in that kind of way. Well, like it's being in the uncomfortable. Like you have done this, you've put yourself in these places, and you've breathed your way through it into this other side of relaxation and depth and stretching, you know, on the mat. That's the way that I've always kind of translated it. But I just love the shapes. I'm gonna, I'm that I'm gonna think about that forever now.

SPEAKER_05: 12:53

Yes, I love that. Thank you. Yes, that's been that's something that I really have honed in the last year, and it's like so it's transformed me.

SPEAKER_04: 13:04

So, do you do any teaching in this moment? Since I know we briefly mentioned you've kind of left your retreat center. What are you doing right now?

SPEAKER_05: 13:15

Um, yeah, so I am uh I'm doing a lot of different things. I have a lot of things happening. It's just it's so funny. Like it really is true, like when one door closes, like so many things um open for you and they just cannot open until you close a certain chapter. And I was definitely really nervous. And but so many things are coming my way. You know, I'm teaching within the community again in Phoenix. I'm teaching at a specific yoga studio that just opened up. I'm going to be offering online workshops and meditation series, and also leading um like national retreats and global retreats myself. And then also, you know, I've had um companies hire me to fly out and teach for their company, which is something that I have been wanting to do as like this next step, and it's all happening, and I'm just like so excited.

SPEAKER_04: 14:16

Yes, I love that so much. I'm so excited for you that all these things are kind of opening. But it's it's it's like right now, this whole 9-9 energy of this September of 2025 is so crazy with all these endings and all these new opportunities coming. And it's like we can either jump on this energy wave and say yes to all these wonderful things that we've been wanting, or we can fight them and try and keep our old life and our old way of living and our old, you know, sh paradigm and timeline. But it's so incredible that you're riding this wave that you're ending things, beginning things, and they're all things that you're excited about. I know you mentioned your um online meditation courses for modern daily life. So, how do you see meditation playing a role in helping people restore themselves in busy seasons?

SPEAKER_05: 15:07

Yes, I think, yeah, especially as we're heading into this new season of fall and with the holidays coming up, and it just starts to feel a little bit more chaotic with the hustle and bustle. And meditation is such a beautiful way to just check in, to slow down, to tune out of the noise that's happening around you and tuning into your inner dialogue, like your inner frequency, your noise, like and to really be able to distinguish what is mine and what is not mine. Because sometimes we can get really caught up in not trusting our gut, not trusting ourselves because this friend said this, my coworker said that, my boss said this, my dad said that, you know, all of these things. And it's like, oh, wait, what do I do? But it's like deep down when we can really get still and quiet, we we know the answers. And when we don't know the answers, it's it's important to take that space to get quiet and still because those answers will really come, you know, and sometimes we don't really want to know the answer because that can be more uncomfortable. And, you know, this path of self-discovery of uh is not for the faint of heart, you know. Sometimes I'm like, okay, once I get through this, then it's like, no, and then there's going to be another thing after that. But we have the tools to continue to work through it because the more awareness we have, the it's just everything gets like illuminated, right? And it's hard to not live in alignment with your authentic self.

SPEAKER_04: 16:46

So if someone's in this moment of like wanting more, wanting to hear themselves, but they're feeling a little overwhelmed, what's like one simple meditation or restorative practice that you would recommend for them to try today?

SPEAKER_05: 17:03

What's one restorative practice? Um, I would say like a a yin yoga or a restorative yoga. Something to get into the body and just listen to what's happening. Listen to the mind without attaching to it, right? Because that's the the mind's job is to think. And our job is to filter through all of the things, the noise, and filter through to like our own voice, our truest essence. Um and to like give yourself compassion for whatever is whatever is happening, whatever is going on without judging it, right? Just letting it filter through and connect to breath. And if you don't have the capacity to go to a class right now, I mean, honestly, right now with be being 2025, you could pull up something on YouTube or something, but connect to your breath, step outside if that's possible, and take 10 long deep breaths and be right where your feet are, right? Because we get we're so heady all the time. But when you can bring your awareness to your feet, it's like, oh, I'm I'm right here. Here I am.

SPEAKER_04: 18:17

Yeah, I love that reminder that it's so simple as grounding and aligning your breath. And it's 10 breaths, and that's all it takes to change your nervous system. And it's it's so incredible that it's so simple and it's all within us, but we often need the reminder and and the permission to take a few minutes away from whatever it is that we're doing to reset ourselves and reset our nervous system and reset our frequency, you know, and re-regain that connection with Mother Earth. So I love that that that's the thing that you recommend because it can be so simple. And yet we also want and need these additional ways of meditating and practices because we want to be inspired and find other things that we love. And one thing that I'm so excited that I really want you to talk about, and I'm really excited to learn more about is your sound healing work. And I know that you're known for weaving sound, mantra, and voice into your healing work, which I'm obsessed with people that are sound healers that also sing when during, because there's just something so magical and so special about it. And I just love for you to talk about how sound healing helps people restore in a way that feels completely different from other practices. And I'm telling you, people, if you have never done this before, all you have to do is go and lay there, put some pillows underneath your head and your legs and a blanket on and some socks on, be cozy, lay down, and just let someone just guide you through this healing journey. So, Marnie, please share, please share more about this.

SPEAKER_05: 19:57

Yes, I love that so much. Thank you, Lizzie. Um, yeah, sound, it's like I feel like sound is the wave of the future, no pun intended. And also it's like this ancient, this ancient practice, these ancient sounds, you know, we have so many different frequencies, so many things coming at us that our nervous system, we're not meant to be on our phone all the time scrolling and all this stuff. So it's like we have so much stimulation. So when you're able to just not be stimulated from anything and lying down like comfortable, like you're having this sleepover and just receive these sounds. I mean, I so I've I grew up singing, I grew up in theater and I was in a band several years ago because I I just loved to share my voice, and my mom always encouraged me to sing, like she always wanted me to sing. She was always had me in theater, and like I I loved it. So I when I'm singing too, it's such like this honoring of my mom. I just feel her and I feel so connected to her when I'm singing. Um, but when I I started to not feel like, oh, this doesn't really feel good, like singing in bars and like just that the frequent, like the vibration, the energy didn't feel in alignment anymore. And I loved it so much. And I was like, how can I continue this? And I fell in love with sound. You know, I went to a couple sound baths. This was like 10 years ago, and I was like, whoa, like it just seemed way beyond. Like I was like, these this is so cool. These people are doing this. And I I never thought that I could do it. And then I bought some bowls in Sedona, some crystal sound bowls, and I I had no idea what I was doing. Like I just bought them and I just was so excited to just play them. I look back at the videos and like, oh my god, but you know, we have to start somewhere. Um so and then like people just wanted to like come over and I would play. Like, I just I was always bringing my bowls everywhere, and I finally like purchased a set of crystal sound bowls, and I took, you know, I took a sound training just to really fine-tune and to kind of understand how I would create a sound um experience. And that has been something that is so transformational for me to be able to um share that and have people receive in such a way. Um, it's it's really hard to explain because you know, sound is so powerful. And the sounds within these healing instruments, these crystal sound bowls, these drums, ocean drums, koshy chimes, hand-pan, gong, so many instruments really help activate uh the parasympathetic nervous system, which is right here, you know, where our third eye is, our pineal gland. And that's the space of rest and digest. So those sounds and frequencies and you lying down and receiving that just makes helps your body feel like this, right? Like just this reset. And even though it feels like you're not doing anything, there's so much happening, there's so much energy shifting and moving and creating more space. And it's just trusting that the energy knows what to do, trust that it knows where to go. And it's uh it's such a powerful um experience. And I really allow myself to just be in flow. And sometimes like I'll have these lyric, like I have songs that I've written, like little things, but sometimes like I just have these words come out, and I'm like, whoa, like or something will come through, and I'm like, oh, it's like, oh, you need to sing this needs to come out. I'm like, no, no, that sounds stupid. It's like in my own head, I'm like having this conversation. Do it, like it's coming through. So I'll do this. And then people will keep like one or two people be like, oh my gosh, those words, I needed that exactly, and it's like trusting what is happening with this. It's like because we're co-creating within the space and the energy, and it's really special. I could talk about it all the time all day long because it's just been such an epic um like evolution of sound. And it's like to think, you know, I'm just getting started. I've been doing it, I've been leading sound for like three or four years, but like I'm getting started, and it just is one of my favorite things to offer. Cause then when I take sound baths, I'm like, whoa, this is what I'm doing.

SPEAKER_04: 24:34

Yes, yes. It's so crazy because I feel like every practitioner, like sound healer is so different. Every sound experience is so different. Cause, like you said, you know, you as the healer, you're channeling. Like you're just in it, you're sharing, you're following what you're guided to do, which is exactly what you're supposed to be doing because you're feeding off of the energy of the people that you are healing in that moment and what the universe is trying to bring through. So I think it's so it just so highlights that thing about the brain. Like when we're channeling and we're directly connected to source and divinity and like and what we're supposed to be doing, the mind is still there to like show you the other side. And so it's always that like showing you the opposite of what you're initially thinking. So it's that's why we always have to trust the body and trust the gut and trust the intuition because the brain's meant to like show us all the versions, the ways things could go. And we just need to be like, no, we know, like we're connected, we know we got this. I so it's just interesting that you know, we can experience that in so many different ways. So truly like following your authentic self is really allowing the mind to just say what it wants, but really following that gut. And I love that you talked about that and you do that. I think like I so I'm so I'm like geek out over this stuff so hard. I've I'm calling to me musical instruments, spiritual musical instruments, because I I kind of want one to like come to me instead of me going to buy it. But I am obsessed with the wave drums, the ocean drums. Those I love. I love the um the glass pyramid. I recently have been to some where my favorite practitioner in Fort Worth uses this glass pyramid, and I don't know what it is about it, but it just like hits me in such an insane way whenever she plays it. And um I do have my first set of bowls. So I love that you said that I just didn't know what I was doing, and I was just playing because that's how I feel.

SPEAKER_03: 26:36

I'm like, oh, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm just kind of like knocking them around and I'm I'm just kind of playing them with myself or my my kids, you know.

SPEAKER_04: 26:44

I'm like, hey, come come play with these with these. But I actually went to a sound bath with I was when I was pregnant with both of my kids now. I have one that's gonna be three in November and the other one's gonna be one in November. And it was such an interesting experience having a sound bath. You know, I've been to a lot by myself, but two hearts, one body, you know, with my husband, and then with my daughter and like having that experience, and it was different. It was, it was different, and I can't even really put words to it, but it was quite an interesting experience. So I would recommend for people who are even thinking about that, if you're pregnant and you have any sort of inkling to want to try it, you should try it because it's really, it's really interesting to have that frequency resonate with within both bodies, you know.

SPEAKER_05: 27:35

I I love that you said that because when I see women that are um pregnant come to my classes, it's like so special because I'm like, oh my gosh, I get to play for these little humans and they're not even like Earthside yet. I'm like, wow, like it's just so powerful that I'm like, I get I get to be a part of their journey and they they won't even know it.

SPEAKER_04: 27:58

No, no, but you are. It's such a it's an imprint, you know, it's such an imprint. And I feel like anything we can do to help them, we should do because there's so many things in this world that are trying to, you know, color us any sort of which way. And so the more that we can try and keep them as their pure authentic selves as long as possible and not let other people put labels on them about who they are and how they act and things like I actually find myself a lot more um insistent on the language people use to describe my kids uh when they're around than other things. That I'm like, no, don't tell him he's that, because he's not that, you know, like and people kind of like look at me and I'm like, no, that's not who he is. So he might be acting a certain way right now, but don't put that on him. You know, from like uh, what is it, Talladega nights is like, don't put that on me, Ricky Bobby. I say that to people all the time, like, don't put that on them.

SPEAKER_05: 28:56

Like yes, it's like such a difference of saying you are this or acting. And one day though, like that can stick to them, and then they're like, oh, this is bad or not good, or I can't do this because. And then that's when things it starts to like chip away.

SPEAKER_03: 29:15

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_04: 29:16

It's pretty, it's pretty incredible. Now, I think like going through this journey, you know, going through your spiritual journey and getting deeper into all these modalities, it just when you see things, when you learn things, you just can't unlearn them and unsee them, and you really see how like deep this programming is that we have. And so, like anything we can do to kind of help someone not have to undo so much or learn, you know, later in life, I think it's kind of like feels like a responsibility, honestly. Um, I don't know if you feel that if you feel that in some sort of way with how you do your healing work with with all the people that you touch. I mean, I can imagine that the ripple effects of the people that you've had the privilege to help on their Journey goes worldwide with you being in a place like Sedona at a, you know, even at a retreat center with these in these past three years. Like I can't even imagine the ripple effect that you've already had.

SPEAKER_05: 30:12

I feel like I I don't want to use like the word overwhelming because it's such a beautiful sense, this overwhelming feeling that I get to do what I do and to know that I have made just a little impact, um, a sliver of people's journey, like thousands of people over the course of three years. And the fact that people not only they think of me, but they intentionally take the time to reach out to me and share what an impact or what a difference my class or was the thing that I said or a song that I sang like really impacted them and shifted them for the better. Like I had some woman reach out to me and she said that she like wrote a book on like self-care and like preventing burnout. And one of my classes was like a huge um proponent or inspiration. And it's like, wow, I just just to give people a little glimmer of what is possible when you really take the time to tune into you, get a little bit underneath the surface, right? Because I feel like people aren't even connecting to their breath, they're not even breathing. So, like, how can they be present with their life? You know, I think it's like taking yourself off autopilot. Um, I do that daily. It's the mundane moments. That's really what our life is. Like it's all these moments, and most of them are just mundane. We're doing the things that we normally do, but how can we pull ourselves out of autopilot and be like, okay, here I am present. This is boring or whatever, but this is your life. This is this is what you're doing in this moment. And I talk about not wanting to be in another moment than you're in right now. We've all done it. I do it, I still do it, but it's a reminder of coming back because that's how we miss our life, right? Sometimes it's like, I don't want to feel this. This is miserable, this is hard, this hurts. But those feelings and like those moments can be the most profound and impactful and transformational if you just allow yourself to go into it and then we can grow, right? How do we like transmute this stuff? Like, how do we grow from it rather than like, oh, I don't want to feel this, I'm just gonna put it in a box? Because once that box opens, whoo, I've sat in this really hard.

SPEAKER_04: 32:34

Um that's so funny. I literally, I just happened to me. I was literally just recording an episode about this. How I had been feeling like had all these things kind of been happening to me over the course of the summer, and I was like, oh, it's okay. We're gonna move. I don't need to talk to them about it. It's no big deal, whatever. I don't really care, anyways. Ma no, you know, I was just kind of doing all that and I would catch myself getting emotional. I'm like, it's fine, it's fine, you know, and I wouldn't do it. And then our storage unit got broken into and it, and I waited for the cops for five hours and they never came. And I was literally a disaster. Like I was just bawling for hours. I mean, it was uncontrollable. It wasn't even about the stuff, it was it was the catalyst that it was the straw that broke the camel's back, like all these things. And I sobbed like I hadn't sobbed in a long time and cried myself to sleep. And I was just like, I was just in a funk for a whole nother day after it too. I mean, I was better, but you know, it took me a few days to get back out of it. And that's it's exactly what you're talking about. I just wasn't allowing myself to fully feel, like I felt the beginnings of these emotions and thought about it. And then I didn't allow myself to fully feel it all the way through so that I could let it pass. And it just all built up into this like fall apart, completely falling apart, you know. Thank God I had my husband in town available and like, you know, was in a safe enough space to be held during that time because we're not always, you know, when it gets to that point. So I I totally I'm right there with you on that. It can become a problem. Like we're not perfect here, people, even though we have all the things that we like to do and we like to help you do, we also like fall back into old patterns.

SPEAKER_05: 34:22

Yes, yes. But that's you know, like always, I I I love that so much. And it's like you you realized, I'm sure, as you were going through this, wow, like, yeah, it has nothing to do with this stuff. Also, that's very violating, and but it's like that you're like that was what made you lose it. You're like, oh, but it's like okay, because I haven't been listening, I haven't been allowing myself to just feel those things so that if this happened, I'd be like, this really sucks. This fucking sucks, but I'm going to deal with it. But that's what had to happen for you to be like, oh wow, okay. Time to time to tune back in with myself and let myself like let it out, right? So it's not being stuffed down.

SPEAKER_04: 35:08

Yeah. What do you like to do to help release like that, to let things go, like let it out, really. Besides, I mean, a good cry is a good cry, but we can't always get ourselves to cry. So, like, what do you like to do?

SPEAKER_05: 35:20

I do a lot of my friend Patty and I were always um, I'm always making like sounds. I always actually take really big or like just whatever I need. I'll make like these crying little sounds to like literally move the energy. It's like, okay, what do I? But it's like it depends on what is going on or what I need. Like, okay, what do I need in this moment? Okay, maybe I need to make grunts or sounds. Maybe I need to get out and go on a walk. Maybe I need to dance. Maybe I just need to kick and scream into a pillow. It's like, like, honestly, what do I what do I need in this moment? Like, can you go into your car and have a minute to yourself and just scream, right? And like what whatever you need, because whatever is going on, like might be different for me in that moment. But that's how it's like this self-care and like this awareness and these practices and these tools now have really helped me to be like, okay, what do I need? Because if I'm like at my boiling point, it's probably not best for me to sit down and meditate, right? You know, it's like, okay, like that's probably it's like, what do I but a lot of the times when I'm feeling upset, it's moving my body, is is what I need to do.

SPEAKER_04: 36:34

Mm-hmm. Yeah, when I think back on my whole life, which I grew up a very angry, angry child uh because of my parents' divorce. And I had that anger for a really long time until college, my freshman summer of college, when I was at a uh, I was a camp counselor at a Episcopal summer camp. So it was faith-based. And honestly, like being in that bubble, having those type of spiritual people around me that truly had faith, um, allowed me to forgive, let go of, release, and finally escape that threshold of anger that was all the way up to my collarbones, you know, that just like sat there all the time for years and years. But I remember when I was a teenager and I would explode. The only way that I could get myself to calm down was running. And I would run for hours, like until I was so exhausted. I had nothing left in me. And it's like it was bad. It was really bad. I'm I can't believe I'm breaking this up right now. Because people who don't know me from high school don't really know this part of me because I've I had let that go a long time ago. But that's like one of these reasons I'm so passionate about like looking at the the hard things and deciding to forgive and release because I lived for years in holding on to other people's stuff, other people's issues in their relationships, other people's things that they put on me being the child caught in between, or you know, things like that. And I have lived the life after, like after the forgiveness, after the release. And I'll tell you, it just feels so much better, so much lighter. And so I think like that was really, I think the beginning that was the first time I ever felt God or source was at that summer camp, at one of those morning shines in the outdoor chapel. Like it was just the most beautiful, magical moment. I've never felt well, I felt things like that since, but I'd never felt anything like that before. And I remember like asking people what that was, and they're like, oh, that's God. And I was like, wait, what? That's what it is, you know, and and it was just it was like brought me to tears. And it was during a song, Marnie, it was during like one of those worship songs that I didn't really grow up listening to or singing, but one of those like child worship songs that was easy. And I just remember the the whole body feeling and chills and just like crying and singing and like being with all these little kids and these other people that were this just there to show these kids love. It was a nonprofit camp. And so um, man, yeah, I can't believe that I just thought about that right now. But that's kind of when it all started for me, I would say.

SPEAKER_05: 39:19

Wow, that's um that's so beautiful, Lizzie. Thank you for sharing that. Like I felt that and I felt like that I we were in, you were you were just back there. And thank you for taking us um with you just to have that that little glimpse and to to even that that you had that awareness, right? Because some people just don't even have that, that you were like, What what whoa, I feel like so liberated or just so alive, or what however you were feeling, this like ecstasy of like, this is what it is.

SPEAKER_04: 39:54

I just really special, yeah, and I hope that everyone has that. I mean, did you was that what you experienced in your Kriya yoga class? Like, is that what happened for you, or have you felt something like that before? And I I'm curious when that was.

SPEAKER_05: 40:12

Yeah, you know, I feel like I've had so many little moments like that. Um, even in like even within the day, like I'll I'll ask for, I want to see a certain number, a certain like I used to, I like 10 years ago, I worked at more longer than that, I worked at Target. And our T our our company or our store number was 1360. And I always drove by it after work when I didn't work there anymore. And for some reason, I was like, I want to see the number 1360. And I saw like a license plate had 13, and then like the exit was like 60, like within two minutes of that. You know, it's like I just feel so tapped in that when those things happen, it's okay, I'm exactly like I know this is it. This is the path, this is where I'm supposed to be. Um, but you know, with the Korea yoga, I would say like I don't think I had the awareness to know. Like I had that feeling, but it wasn't like in that moment, I wasn't like, oh my God, this is God. I knew it was something because I always for some reason, I mean, I grew up Catholic. I was never like, I never felt that religion was like forced on me or anything. I did have to go to like first communion and church, but I it wasn't often. Um, I always felt like I could explore. Um, but there was a specific time when I was at a um a yoga retreat in Costa Rica. I had I had this animal deck card that I brought with me, and I had pulled this card, the Phoenix, and I didn't have time to read it. And I was like, okay, I gotta go. And we went on this like boating excursion that day, and I hadn't talked about it. And we, I was with one of the teacher that was leading it, and we like were swimming, and then we were like in this cove, and it felt like this portal, and we were sitting there, and all these birds were like circulating, and she was like, Those look like a bunch of like phoenix birds, which phoenix birds like aren't, you know, it's like a mystical thing that yeah. I was like, Oh, that's God. That's it. And like from that moment, like it was like I love God, I love, I love, I love God. Like, because I always struggled for some reason with the word God, yeah. And it's because it's such this personal um experience that I have, you know, it's like this with this personal relationship that I have that helps guide me, that helps me stay connected and trust this human experience that is so crazy and wild. And every day I'm like, how did I get here?

SPEAKER_03: 42:47

Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_04: 42:48

And there's this red thread that we just can't see until we look back, you know, and until we believe that there is one, you know. And it's so it's interesting that you mentioned that too, because I've honestly had a really hard time with the word God for for a long time because I was raised Episcopalian in the church, and there were a lot of things that didn't make sense to me about it. And I went for the sense of community and I loved the people, and it was just so wonderful. So as I had progressed in my spiritual, you know, journey, I kind of strayed away from that word for a long time with like universe and source and creatrix and creator and divinity and you know, all that. And I still kind of play with all the words, but I have recently reintegrated God back into the lineup because it does it, it is that it is God. It's the same thing. It's just it's it's this childhood thing that had gotten me kind of away from using it, but I do feel more aligned with the word now again. So it's kind of interesting how like either being forced or not forced, I really wasn't forced either. I was the last one to stop going to church because I love my youth group so much. So it's uh it's kind of an interesting thing that we have with the word God. But I I do love that you mentioned that because I I'm I'm working back with God too again.

SPEAKER_05: 44:07

Yeah, I love that. And it's like, you know, God, God is everywhere if you're just if you want to find God, if you want to like it's everywhere. So yeah, I I love that.

SPEAKER_04: 44:19

And it's yeah, yeah, it's the big moments, the big full body crying moments, and it's the smaller aligned moments, like the 1360. I mean, it's I love that you mentioned that too, because I just see those as like signs and like, oh yeah, I'm on the right path, or I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. But I do I love that you see that as God. And now I'm gonna remember that too. I love that that like shift in perspective that you offered again. You have some some really great ones today that I've never heard before.

SPEAKER_05: 44:52

Thank you. I love that.

SPEAKER_04: 44:55

Yeah. So I know you've got all these really exciting things coming up, all these new doors opening, all these opportunities. What are you most excited about ending out this year, beginning 2026? What is like the thing that is just like getting your juices flowing, getting your energy just like so excited, and you just want to you just want to do it right now.

SPEAKER_05: 45:18

Um, I have so many things as we wrap up 2025. I feel like for the last few months, I'm like, I've felt like it's 2026. I don't know, 2025 has been a while ride. Um, but I am most excited. I am revamping my website to have offerings and for people to really be able to access me, whether they want to go to a certain workshop or a retreat that I'm hosting, Costa Rica or Sedona, or somewhere else. Um, they want to be a part of like my meditation series, or however they want to work with me one-on-one, or a company wants to hire me to travel to lead retreats for their um team. And that's something that I've been calling in over the last year that I was like, oh, this is what I want to do next. Like, I want companies to hire me so I can travel and lead their company retreats. And I am doing that at the end in November. I'm really excited to be traveling to Canada to lead um a team there. And it's like, oh my gosh, I was like, can I do this? Like it's like, yes, Marnie, you are meant for this. It wouldn't present itself. And it's just really cool in that aspect to have that thought, have that come in and really embody and really feel like, oh, this is what's what I'm meant for next. This is my next step. And then to see that like people see me in that way and that they want to work with me and collaborate with me. It's just like, oh, this is cool.

SPEAKER_04: 46:49

Yeah, this is that's so exciting. I feel like you're taking everything to almost the next level under your umbrella instead of somebody else's umbrella. And that's just so exciting to have that new website, just like your vision out there. And like it's it's a great time to rebrand because you're stepping into this new version of you, this new next nine-year chapter. So if you're already kicking it off with a new website and starting to do these company corporate retreats all over, I mean, all over the world. You're already going to another country.

SPEAKER_03: 47:25

That's the who knows what's gonna happen at the end of your nine years, like where you're gonna be. That's it's so exciting for you. And uh, where in Canada are you going?

SPEAKER_05: 47:36

Um, British Columbia. I can't really pronounce the name of the place, but it's in I'm I was like, how do I say this? But somewhere in the like it's just like above Vancouver, uh above uh Washington.

SPEAKER_04: 47:48

Okay, okay. Well, I'll be keeping an eye out for your pictures because Canada is just so beautiful, so beautiful.

SPEAKER_05: 47:54

And I've always wanted to work really yes, so I'm super excited.

SPEAKER_04: 48:00

Okay, yes, all right. It's been written in the stars, and that's why Marnie got Canada as her first retreat. I love it, I love it so much. And I honestly am caught, I'm putting this out there right now. I'm saying it live so that we can't take it back. But I want to do a modern Zen Co practitioner collective retreat where it's just the practitioners. Like I want it to just be us where we can all hang out and get to know each other, and each of us can like do our little things for each other, and that way we can promote each other and we can send people to each other, and we can just really like have that little network of connections because Nikki and I are here getting to meet you guys and work with you and develop these connections and these bonds with you. But I feel like each of you would love each other, and I just want all of us to be together in some beautiful place, like doing all the cool wellness things and just enjoying nature. And so I'm calling that in for 2026.

SPEAKER_05: 48:59

That's happening. I I envision it. That's really that made me really excited, like that part of it. So I'm excited for that. Good, and we'll remember when we're there.

SPEAKER_04: 49:08

Yes, September 24th, 2025, slash October, whatever day you're listening to this, I can't remember 21st, 2025.

SPEAKER_03: 49:20

Uh it's it's here, it's here. Okay, wonderful.

SPEAKER_04: 49:24

Well, before we before we close this out, is there any last thing that you want to leave our listeners, either about self-care or just about life in general? This last like one liner that you just want to implant in their minds. Yes.

SPEAKER_05: 49:43

Um I would say self-care um isn't always what it has to look like. Self-care is what it how what it feels like to you. What do you need in that moment for yourself? How can you honor that? And it doesn't always have to be a big grand retreat or a massage or whatever it is, it's taking the time to tune into you, whether that be your breath or journaling or just a moment for yourself, just honoring what you need and give yourself permission to feel.

SPEAKER_04: 50:36

Yes. Wonderful. I love it so much. It's been such a pleasure having you today. It's been absolutely amazing. I love getting to talk to you and getting to hear more about your story and your journey. And I will be at one of your things someday. I will 100% be there because I need to experience all the wonderfulness that you bring to your healings and especially your sound healings. I just, I really feel like I need one of yours. So I'm gonna make it happen at some point. And I would love to have you back on again to talk about some more things that you mentioned, especially maybe a little bit more about malas, because we've never shared anything about that. And I think that can be really, really interesting to talk about that. So if you're open to it, we want to have you back on, you know, maybe even after your retreat, so you can talk about how all that went and your takeaways and what you bring into your next one.

SPEAKER_05: 51:33

Yes, I'm actually doing a Mala workshop there. So I I started a whole jewelry business making mala. So I'm I'm totally into that.

SPEAKER_04: 51:42

Okay. Mala 101 with Marnie. It's happening. It's happening.

SPEAKER_05: 51:48

Thank you so much. This has been such an honor, and thank you. It's been great to meet you and just get to know you a little bit more, just on a deeper level, and just sharing and just seeing what comes of these conversations. It's really powerful.

SPEAKER_04: 52:00

It is, it is, and thank you everyone for sticking with us to the very end. We're so happy to have you with us. Our little fly on the wall slash, this is for you, but you know it's for us too.

SPEAKER_03: 52:11

So thanks for listening, and we'll see you guys next time.

SPEAKER_04: 52:21

Thank you so much for spending time with us on the Modern Zen Collective podcast. This podcast is at the heart of everything that we do. Create it to guide, inspire, and walk alongside America. If you're ready for more, collective.