Run the Mile You're In: A Midlife Conversation with Stephanie Anderson

In this engaging interview, Stephanie Anderson shares her journey through turning 50, embracing aging with confidence, and integrating her expertise in executive coaching and health & wellness. Discover insights on mindset shifts, the power of small changes, and how to live authentically at any age.

Key Topics during this conversation:

• Embracing aging and confidence
• Mindset shifts and small changes
• Integrating coaching and wellness

Connect with Stephanie:

Website - https://renew-wellness.com
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephanie-madsen-anderson/

You're tired of over-apologizing.

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The first version of the workshop is going strong but if you missed it, don't worry. 

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Transcript

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Kim Benoy (00:01.218)
Hello everyone and welcome back to Midlife with Courage. I am Kim Benoy, your host, and I'm so happy to have you all here. I'm also very happy to have my guest with me here today. Her name is Stephanie Anderson. Welcome to the podcast, Stephanie.

Stephanie Anderson (00:13.92)
Kim, it's so great to be with you today.

Kim Benoy (00:16.194)
I'm really excited to talk to you. Stephanie and I know each other in real life, we could say. So it's kind of fun to have. I always like interviewing people I know already because you know, it's just a little more familiar, but so yes, today we are going to talk about Stephanie and her, her revelations that she recently had about a certain number. So, Stephanie, we're just going to jump right into it. You recently turned the big five.

How did that, how, how did that go? I understand you had some revelations. What, what, tell us about that.

Stephanie Anderson (00:51.286)
You know, it's one of those things that I still can't believe it. You know, when I have to fill out a form and it asks for like what age category, I'm still kind of in denial as I'm going into that, the numbers that start with a five. But with each of my birthdays, it always seemed older. Like when I turned 30, when I turned 40, when I turned 50, it always seemed old. And I always wanted to just embrace that because I feel like it's kind of sad in our culture that we don't really embrace age. There's so many other cultures where it's like with that comes wisdom and this reverence, right?

Kim Benoy (00:57.538)
Ha ha ha.

Stephanie Anderson (01:20.672)
And I think women should own their age. think they should be like, there is so much life that has been lived. There's so much we can learn from one another. And so I've always liked to when I turned an age that ends in a zero, do something like to celebrate it, to mark that time and to be open about talking about it. Yeah, I'm a little bit, a little bit shy and about like necessarily being like incredibly like wanting to tell everybody, especially because

Kim Benoy (01:48.408)
Sure.

Stephanie Anderson (01:49.91)
you know, some of my friends are quite a bit younger than my kids. I have young kids. And so sometimes I'm interacting with, you know, with people that are quite a bit younger than me. My boys are eight and 10. And I was an older, older having kids. And so sometimes I don't want to be seen as that, that, you know, she's so much older. Like I still want to be able to relate to people. But I also am like, but I'm 50. Like do you ever see that Saturday Night Live skit?

Kim Benoy (02:07.64)
Right.

Stephanie Anderson (02:13.687)
with, I think it was Molly Shannon, and she's like, I'm 50 and I can kick and I can flex. She's just like, making me feel like I'm 50. That's kinda how I wanna embrace it, right? Like it's just, it's a new day. And with that, I feel like there's more boldness. There's more like just recognition of how I wanna show up, how being authentic to who I am and wanting to show up in the different aspects of my life in the best way that I possibly can. And also being real when things aren't right.

Kim Benoy (02:17.588)
Yes. Yes. All right.

Stephanie Anderson (02:41.847)
you know, like being able to ask for help, right? Because so much of my life has been like this, oh, independent woman, I can do it, I can take charge, I can do everything. But really the beauty in like asking for help and people wanna help and I wanna help other people, right? So there's just so many other things. There's just this kind of like wisdom. I mean, there's not this like amazing flip that switches at, you know, when the clock turns, you know, birthday, 50 time, but just kind of like leading up to it.

Kim Benoy (02:44.493)
Kim Benoy (03:04.258)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (03:08.663)
And so one of the things we did that was really special is we went to New York City with my husband and my two boys and we celebrated there, which was really special. So that was the thing we did. I spent quite a bit of time working in New York City. I love the city and I was able to do a half marathon there, but that was the thing to be able to like mark this special moment and make it special, you know, make it special for the family as well. So yeah, so I'm excited about it. It's also one of those things that

Kim Benoy (03:20.312)
Huh.

Kim Benoy (03:29.592)
Sure.

Kim Benoy (03:33.602)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (03:39.031)
Yes, in some ways it feels kind of old, especially when things are happening like waking up and having like a sleep injury. know, have you ever had that where you like wake up and your like neck is really sore and you're something like, I I have that age where like, where like sleeping is invoking these, these aches and pains. I'm like, this is crazy.

Kim Benoy (03:49.739)
Yes.

Kim Benoy (03:54.36)
Yes. Yeah. Or you bend over to reach for something and your back goes no or it goes out. Like what is going on here?

Stephanie Anderson (04:02.68)
Yes, so sometimes those reminders that happened or even yesterday, I cracked a tooth, a crown, eating a sugar snap pea of all things. Like just these things, I feel like some of these like kind of old people things that are happening, but just being like, okay, that's, that's what it is. And you know what? We have a choice. Like we can choose these things that the, I'm going to turn 50 no matter what, might as well embrace it with joy and enthusiasm because it's not going to change if I'm, you know,

Kim Benoy (04:24.397)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (04:27.384)
feel otherwise about it. And I think that's so true with so many other things with life. We have a choice on how we want to approach it. Now, I say that, now if you followed me around or you asked my family, right, that's not, I know what saying, I always do that, but I try. And that's one of the things I do to try to reset myself too is be like, okay, I have a choice here. I have a choice in this, so.

Kim Benoy (04:38.794)
Right.

Kim Benoy (04:46.006)
Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right about there's no, no switch that we just flip, but it's like a journey that we're there on. I'm that's how I'm looking at it myself as I'm going to, gosh, I'm going to be 60 in two years or next year. yeah, I turned 59 this year. Like, yeah. And part of me is like, I'm going to be 60. Hey, I look pretty good and I'm doing pretty good. And I've got, but I'm on this journey. And so to me, when I got a little bit,

Stephanie Anderson (04:53.94)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (05:02.41)
Own it, sister, own it!

Stephanie Anderson (05:09.592)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (05:15.022)
I always say I'm farther along in my life journey instead of saying older. But it's like, there's all these things that I can do now and there's different, you know, it's a journey. It's, it's finding new things, but okay. We'll get back to you though.

Stephanie Anderson (05:19.606)
Yeah, I love that.

Stephanie Anderson (05:29.272)
No, but I love that. And in 60, I would never guess. And I love that you're owning that and that you're sharing that because more people need to do that and be an inspiration to others.

Kim Benoy (05:33.26)
Yeah,

Yeah. Right. Right. Right. Now let's go back a little bit because you you're very well spoken. And it's probably because you've had 25 years of experience with executive coaching. And you've kind of you also are doing some health and wellness other coaching. So tell us about this career and how you've kind of we kind of talked about this before we hit record, but you've got to

of two different areas in your life that you're kind of bringing together now.

Stephanie Anderson (06:07.896)
Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much for your kind words. I feel like I sometimes get so excited and I go in so many different directions with things. yeah, so I, as even as like a young girl, I always knew I wanted to do something in business. At one point I thought maybe law, but I ended up going into consulting, working with a global consulting firm. I was there for 24 years and you know, had

so many wonderful opportunities. I traveled all the time, but I was laser focused on work and loved it, but also reached a point where I was like, is this really what my, like I said, I'm a Bible believing Christian and one of the things is like, I'm thinking, is this what God has for me? Does he want me to be on a plane every week and visiting different clients and doing all these things? And

I decided to, there was a few changes that I made. At one point, so I'd always had an interest in health and wellness. And so I made the conscious decision to start taking, start working towards certifications which led to another certification which led to a doctorate natural health. And I love learning. So I made this decision a few years into my career. And I said, I am gonna take this on, but it is going to be fully because I love it.

The moment it brings stress into my life, I'm done. I made that a commitment to myself because I already was working in a job where it was not uncommon to work 60, 70 hour weeks, being on a plane twice, sometimes more. And so this was something I was doing for me. It was kind of my hobby outside. And that passion just grew. Part of my interest in that was

my own personal struggles and my own personal journey, looking for answers to help myself. Cause I had struggled with, with weight, with body image and always had an interest in nutrition. And so I kind of, I did that. So that was an intentional thing that I did. And then fast forward in my mid thirties, I reached another point. was 35 was the age where you can, could adopt a child as a single woman.

Kim Benoy (08:10.254)
you

Kim Benoy (08:26.222)
Mm.

Stephanie Anderson (08:26.48)
And I knew I always had a heart for wanting to be a mother. Marriage scared me. My parents divorced when I was 18. And I just was really kind of gun shy when it came to relationships. Had dated, had some crazy, not great experiences, some funny experiences, but just was really like, again, one of those things where I'm like, Lord, I don't know if you have someone for me. I do have a desire to be a mother. So I started going down the path of like,

Kim Benoy (08:52.622)
you

Stephanie Anderson (08:56.824)
of exploring what that might look like to adopt. And I also made a change from my job where I was with the same firm, but I was in a position where I wasn't traveling all the time, where I had more stability. I even got a dog. To make this decision, actually had taken a leave of absence. I took three months off because I just needed to step back because sometimes I found with myself, when I'm in the thick of things, it's hard to make a decision.

Kim Benoy (09:13.536)
you

Stephanie Anderson (09:24.842)
it's really hard to make a decision. And so I had to just take a step back and kind of really unplug, disconnect from things. And I took a different position. And then within, I think it was within six or nine months, I met my husband and he's older than I am. And so we joke around that, it moved very, very quickly. Like we literally,

Kim Benoy (09:25.398)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (09:52.121)
met in February, we were engaged in April, married in August, pregnant in October. So, and then, so I was, I was 38 when I got married, 37 when I met him. And then we had our first son when I was 39 and my second son at 41. So was one of those things that like, waited so long. And actually we joke around, like, both my husband and I are like, we thought our families and friends had kind of like just sort of been like, oh yeah, they're just going to be always single. That's just how they are.

Kim Benoy (09:56.533)
wow.

Kim Benoy (10:04.066)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (10:20.746)
And so that was then a major shift and it's amazing how much then being a wife, being a mom and just reflecting on that. mean, even like thinking about our conversation today as I was like reflecting last night and I'm just like, I am so incredibly grateful and blessed. I'm sorry, I'm feeling a emotional here. With what this is, like what 50 is. Like if someone had told me at 50, like I'm in a marriage that I...

Kim Benoy (10:20.845)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (10:43.169)
that's okay.

Stephanie Anderson (10:50.008)
It's, marriage is hard work, but it is beyond what I ever could have imagined. It is beyond what kind of I had seen and noticed. And it's a beautiful thing. And being a mom, I also realized as a boy mom, like that the Lord has a sense of humor that I have two boys that like to wrestle all the time and are very physical and I love them dearly, but it's just a different, you know, different than a girl dynamic, right? So.

Kim Benoy (10:57.496)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (11:15.084)
Yeah, yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (11:16.34)
Yeah, but just those that those those shifts that were that were made and just kind of those learnings that happen And you know, I think 50 is about like just even tuning in more learning more about who I am. What what is What what does god want me to do with my life? What is my purpose? What is you know, how can I help other people? How can I use our talents and gifts? I love I love

Kim Benoy (11:32.93)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (11:39.927)
Like for example, working with my clients on recognizing what are their strengths? What are their unique qualities? Cause especially as women, we take them for granted. We kind of brush them off before we're like, we played the, we're, humble about it, which great humility is an awesome thing, but like there are these gifts that we were given like sister use them. You know what I mean? Like they, and sometimes because they be, they come easily to us. We just take them for granted and we assume it's easy for everybody else. helping to helping.

Kim Benoy (11:48.334)
Yes.

Kim Benoy (12:00.012)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (12:10.59)
helping especially women recognize that is just such a such a wonderful thing.

Kim Benoy (12:16.394)
Yeah, I think too, there's outside forces too, that don't exactly support when we are strengths as women too. You know, especially when we're hearing messages like, you need to look younger, you need to be thinner, you need to be this and that and the other. So I love, I found that a lot of women in this age, they start to turn inward and they do start realizing that, wow, I do have these strengths.

Stephanie Anderson (12:25.687)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (12:44.78)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (12:44.798)
And I can do this and that. And I try to do that. I like to point that out to my guests or whoever I talked to as well with this podcast. But I just think that's so important to really, to really emphasize that as we go through. Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (12:57.952)
Yeah, that is so true. That is so true. And realizing the lies we believe. I mean, that's one of the things, 50 years old, I'm still recognizing lies that I believe. Things that culture tells us, that, narratives inside my own mind, right? And I think being able to recognize that is so huge. I even think of like with my relationship with food.

Kim Benoy (13:04.536)
Mm.

Kim Benoy (13:09.71)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (13:14.861)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (13:23.656)
I always had told myself, I just can't moderate. I either have to like totally not have something or I'm just gonna just consume like binge on everything like sugar, for example. And that was a lie, right? That was a lie. Like that I can moderate, you know, I can lose. can't like, and so being able to even these little things and sometimes it's these little things that just seem very subtle and like no big deal. They can actually kind of steal some joy or steal some progress from us. And

Kim Benoy (13:33.678)
Mm.

Yeah. Yeah.

Kim Benoy (13:46.52)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (13:51.81)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (13:53.015)
There's one of the things I think it's always important to have things that we can anchor to, especially when we're in moments where we're stressed or we're overwhelmed or we feel like we're stuck. And one of the things is that around that idea of truth, there's a Bible versus Philippians 4, 8, and it's like, finally, brothers and sisters, whatever, the first thing is true. And I think it's kind of a checklist. It's like, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is crazy, like it goes through a list of things.

And I always, I start, think about that verse and I get to true and I don't have to go any further because it's like, usually whatever I'm hung up on, if I really look at it, it's either not true or I don't know that it's true. I'm making an assumption about something. I'm building my own kind of narrative that I'm not sure of. I mean, don't we all do that sometimes where we start to fill in the gaps and we're like, wait, is this even actually true? I don't know. What if we assume something different?

Kim Benoy (14:27.913)
Kim Benoy (14:38.062)
Yes.

Kim Benoy (14:45.259)
rate.

Stephanie Anderson (14:47.306)
What if we assumed it was something completely different?

Kim Benoy (14:50.688)
Yeah. Yeah. my gosh. And that brings us to your, a new term that you taught me today is ask formation.

Stephanie Anderson (15:00.214)
Yes, ask formation. So a lot of people think of affirmations, right? Those little things that we can tell ourselves, those things that we can remind ourselves of, which I'm not opposed those at all. But one of the things I think takes it up a notch is something called an ask formation. So that would be asking, posing yourself, posing a question to yourself, because it's also interesting how our mind engages when we're asked a question.

Kim Benoy (15:16.076)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (15:28.882)
and we present an idea that forces us to think of something. So let's say I'm really nervous about going to meet with a client. Actually, this happened to me earlier in the week. I was coaching someone who is a PhD in industrial and organizational psychology. So they are an expert in coaching.

Kim Benoy (15:51.888)
my.

Stephanie Anderson (15:56.729)
I started to kind of get in my own head about it. I'm like, oh my goodness, what am I gonna bring to this person that they don't already have? And I changed that instead of saying, what if, what if I totally mess up? if they think this is a total waste of time? I switched it and said, what if this is incredibly beneficial for them?

Kim Benoy (16:04.652)
Right.

Stephanie Anderson (16:21.246)
What if I can share just one thing that is like that just changes the way that they look at look at something? What if I can remind them of something that they need to be told? Right? And so being able to change it kind of shifts your shifts the way you're looking at it. I mean, even like, I feel my posture shifting, right? As even like thinking of it that way. And that's another thing that's amazing is how changing our posture can change

Kim Benoy (16:43.374)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (16:49.226)
our mindset, right? Like you do the Wonder Woman pose for 30 seconds. You can't tell me you don't feel stronger and like more like ready, ready, you can go conquer things, right? So these, these amazing little tiny things that you can do, then other people may not even, you know, you could do them so discreetly, people would never know, but like the things you can do to help keep yourself on that path and help if you start to realize, hey, I'm not going in the direction where, where I want to be going. Or I could, I could, you know,

Kim Benoy (16:58.327)
Right.

Stephanie Anderson (17:18.188)
make some tweaks and improve.

Kim Benoy (17:20.224)
Right, right. And I'm a big proponent of asking questions. And that's, this is right in that wheelhouse as well. Like, what if this would happen? Yeah, I love that. That's just it totally made me feel like sit up a little higher or a little bit more too. But I love that. Can we just go back a little bit too, because I want to ask a little bit more about you mentioned earlier, you, you made a choice to

focus on yourself and things that didn't bring you joy or that you were passionate about, you didn't do it anymore. And it sounds like that happened kind of at a younger time than I would have expected because that, but just based on my own personal experience. But did you get any pushback to that from your workplace, your people and your other people in your life?

Stephanie Anderson (18:12.144)
I, you know, it's something that I have to be intentional about. I really have to be intentional about having the focus on the joy piece of it in terms of.

I would say not selfish is the wrong word, but like I'm very much a people pleaser. wanna do, I wanna be a good girl. I wanna be do what's right. I wanna like, I am the person that's likely to fall into kind of workaholic tendencies, like to be really busy. All these things that again can be strengths, but sometimes they can be, get to be too much. So where I've made these conscious decisions is where it's really been through

Kim Benoy (18:30.732)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (18:55.744)
reflecting and prayer and really pausing. There's so much power in the pause. So much power. It's so funny too, I feel like everything now where I'm looking at everything is about perimenopause and all this. like different kind of pause, but that's another thing with the age. Embrace it. There's something amazing about just pausing. Just slow down. And even thinking about, you think of when people respond to something, there's that.

Kim Benoy (19:14.476)
Yeah.

you

Stephanie Anderson (19:25.452)
that stimulus and then there's the response. If you can put some more space between that, right? So that's one of the things I've worked on, for example, like I, if I get stressed out, like my, the stimulus was kind of really busy with work. The response was go to the pantry, grab some quick snack and then, and then get back to work. But when I'm able to put more space between that, create more of a pause and be like, wait, is that really what I need? Maybe if I just have five minutes, I should step outside. Maybe, maybe there's something I can do that would serve me better.

that would be more supportive of how I want to be, how I want to show up. And so just that intentionality. And there are times to your question about pushback, there's absolutely times. And that's hard, especially being someone who wants to make everybody else happy. And I say that as a huge, as something that I struggle with is sometimes like advocating for what I want or what I need, especially in

Kim Benoy (20:10.349)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (20:23.86)
in certain settings. And so being able to be very, get to the point where I could be very specific about what I needed. And so there was an instance, okay, this is what I'm going to do. I need to take some time off and being able to be specific. And sometimes that can be challenging too, because I'm usually pretty easygoing things in terms of...

willingness to do different things. So sometimes being very specific about what I need or what I want can be challenging. But yeah, there's always gonna be pushback. There's always gonna be pushback. And that's I think it's so important to have that certainty in our own identity and who we are. And then the decisions come more easily because you make decisions that are aligned with your identity.

Kim Benoy (20:57.677)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (21:15.341)
Right.

Stephanie Anderson (21:15.448)
I mean, even like I think about it with my journey with food and with weight, if my narrative in my mind and if my identity is around being overweight, not being able to control myself around food, not liking how I feel, not looking how I look, not appreciating my body, then.

No matter what I do, I can go through the actions of eating right and exercising and losing weight. But at the end of the, and this is one of the reasons why maintenance, like I just heard yesterday, someone quote, there's all different statistics that after two years, 97 % of women like have undone the progress that they've made with weight loss, sometimes shorter than that. And I think a lot of that has to do with identity because we need to first be able to recognize and appreciate.

Kim Benoy (21:54.893)
wow.

Stephanie Anderson (22:02.398)
And in our mind, be able to see who we are, who we're capable of being, but sometimes we're too busy beating ourselves up. That then when we try to make changes in our lifestyle, that don't match truly how we feel inside. So that's why I think that inner work is such an important piece of any change, right? Because how important.

Kim Benoy (22:09.346)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (22:17.07)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. And it goes back to the, know, we want a quick fix to everything that's that we need changed. And yeah, we can do the newest diet or take the whatever pills or whatever. But if you don't fix what's going on inside, it's not gonna stay. It's not gonna stick. So yeah, I love that you're sharing that message as well. So

Stephanie Anderson (22:44.056)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Kim Benoy (22:49.868)
Now you are taking health and wellness in my mind really far because you're doing marathons. Why are you doing marathons?

Stephanie Anderson (22:56.062)
Hahaha

If someone would have told me that I would be so excited about running at this age, at this stage in my life, if someone would have told me in my 30s, I wouldn't have believed it. But that's been an interesting journey. So after my second son was born, my husband and I, it's crazy how it started. We started with this little wellness challenge with each other.

we kind of put together a little sheet of when we exercise, when we ate well, we would put like a few dollars in the jar. And then when we got enough money, we were going to go and take a cooking class from our cooks of Crocus Hill and Stillwater. We're going to take a cooking class there. Cause that's one the we enjoyed to do. we're like, this is something special that we can, you know, we could do. And so I started with just starting with like walk, run on the treadmill and

Kim Benoy (23:43.357)
okay.

Stephanie Anderson (23:55.545)
then that gradually increased. And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to run a five key. And then I had a goal time for a five key and then that just kept increasing. And then my brother is an avid, much more hardcore than I am like marathon and ultra marathon runner. And so he was really a great, it's been a great bonding for us, but it just kind of this grew and, and my time running was the time when I could

Kim Benoy (24:10.317)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (24:18.774)
It was kind of like my me time, especially with two really little kids and just sometimes needing that time and recognizing how much better I felt when I exercised, how I showed up better as a mom, as a wife, I felt better. It was also my time to listen to podcasts, listen to sermons, listen to audio books, or just listen to nothing and just be, right? And so that just kind of grew. And I'm kind of a, I kind of am a type of person that if I'm gonna kind of go full force with things.

Kim Benoy (24:26.668)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (24:37.004)
Mm.

Stephanie Anderson (24:45.656)
So it pretty quickly then I was like, huh, well, I kept increasing the distance. And then in 2019, I was like, you know what? I had done a marathon in my 20s. then in 2019, was like, know, in 2018, I was talking to my brother. I'm like, do you think I could do a marathon? He's like, yeah, yeah, absolutely. So he actually ran it with me and was kind of my encourager, my support. So that was really special. And then it's been, since then I've been, I've, you know, I've really enjoyed it. The marathon.

Kim Benoy (24:45.89)
Mm.

Kim Benoy (24:51.032)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (25:06.702)
Aww.

Stephanie Anderson (25:14.89)
is not necessarily my favorite distance. think 10 mile is kind of my favorite. But I'm right now in the process of training for my second marathon within like an eight month period, which I'm discovering is too close, is too close. I've had to do the things I've had to, you know, I've, it's kind of funny because this is like an example of where I've had to shift my mindset with it because like I had a 15 mile run a couple of weeks ago and I have a 20 mile run coming up this weekend.

Kim Benoy (25:19.831)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (25:29.132)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (25:44.685)
And on this 15 mile run, Kim, I felt miserable. I was like, why am I doing this? And one of the things I am doing that I do get excited about, and this is where I had to think about it, is I'm doing it to raise money for an organization that supports veterans. And so to me, that community, that cause, that's one of my motivators. And that, if you talk about strength, that's one of the things that is a driver, is that strong belief in something. And so I had to reshift. I had to take some time and be like, OK.

Kim Benoy (25:59.908)
Kim Benoy (26:07.918)
Sure.

Stephanie Anderson (26:14.144)
I'm going be running this marathon regardless. What can I do? Like I'm learning. Yep. It was, it was a little bit too soon given. just ran one last fall, but what can I do? And so that's where I started to explore different training patterns, different. this one I'm in my training. doing, I'm doing about, I'm doing intervals of four minutes running one minute walking to mix it up a little bit. That's a little bit more aligned. I'm not going for a time goal this time. I'm just like, I just want to finish. I just want to have fun. I just want to like cross the finish line with.

Kim Benoy (26:19.502)
Hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (26:43.86)
some form of a smile on my face, right? And so, running has been such, there's so many things that I feel like I can put in the perspective of running, right? Like for example, it can be on the idea of run the mile you're in, like the mile that you're in, like not thinking too far ahead because I've also, one of my worst, one of my training runs,

Kim Benoy (26:45.719)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (27:10.252)
This was, this was a few years ago. started was 18 mile run. I felt miserable, like physically awful. It ended up being one of my favorite runs because I just, ended up feeling better through the courses. And I think things like that can happen in life as well. Like just because something, just because the mile we're in might not be comfortable or feel good. There's things that when you just keep moving forward, things can get better. Sometimes they get worse, right? But like being able to, to, to recognize that and just kind of the patience.

that, that, that it's taught me as well. and just the challenge is really fun too. So I love, I love the notes and the number of people that I've been able to encourage to just give running a try. There are so many, I think it can be intimidating, especially if someone hasn't like they feel like they have these pictures in their mind of like these like really fast people. But like, if there is a woman that's interested in getting into like running, there are so many, there's heart rate training where you, you,

Kim Benoy (27:46.787)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (28:08.504)
You're not looking at a pace. You're not looking at, you're just saying, where's my heart rate? How do I keep myself in the right zone where you're walking if your heart rate gets too high? There's also the method that I'm using is called the Galloway method, which is run walk, which, know, some people can start off, they can say, I'm going to walk for five minutes and I'm going to jog slowly for 30 seconds. And then they gradually change that. And then it's just, so there's a lot of friends I've had that have been like more on the, you know, maybe really avid walkers or other types of exercise that they like. if really,

Kim Benoy (28:20.814)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (28:37.976)
you know, warmed up to running because of that. yeah.

Kim Benoy (28:40.608)
Yeah, well good for you. I applaud you. I have run before I did a half marathon at Disney. If you ever want to do that. Yeah, I will never do it again, but I enjoyed it while I did it. So no. Yeah, there's a lot of running in two twos and all that, but I yeah, and they they're very strict about falling behind a certain time because they run it before the parks open.

Stephanie Anderson (28:47.0)
Yeah, did you wear a costume Disney that a lot of people dress? OK, you were like Tinkerbell.

Stephanie Anderson (29:05.514)
Okay.

Wow.

Kim Benoy (29:08.206)
So everyone has to be done by a certain time. And if you're not done or if you're falling behind, they take you away. You're done. Like you can't even finish. So anyway, that's a whole other story. We won't get into that. I'll tell you about that someday. But, um, but I love one of the things that you said besides, love run the mile you're in. love that. That's an amazing concept and idea. Be being present where you are and what you're doing. Um, another thing that you said that just kind of stood out to me was when you were struggling.

Stephanie Anderson (29:16.528)
Okay. We're taking a moment.

Kim Benoy (29:38.254)
You said, I'm going to do it anyway. So how can I make it better or different? A lot of us probably would have said, I could quit. I could just stop. But telling yourself, I'm doing it anyway, just to me is that mindset. I'm doing it. here's what I need to do. I love that.

Stephanie Anderson (29:50.871)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (29:54.348)
now.

Yeah, well, thank you. So much of it has to get back to the reason why we're doing why we do it. And so getting back to that, like, and that was part of it, I had to anchor back to that, because there was part of me that doesn't want to do it. Or I said, Hey, maybe I'll do the half and set the full. But there's a few things. So I'm it's grandma's marathon. And it's their 50th anniversary. 50, right? That's a special number. So that was part of it.

Kim Benoy (30:03.992)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (30:17.454)
There you go.

Stephanie Anderson (30:24.244)
And then also the organization that I'm running it with. Like I don't want to let down. I've been raising support for veterans. I don't want to let the organization down. I don't want the people, let the people down. And so again, it's one of those things where like I talk about, there's almost like these tendencies where I'm wanting to not let other people down, right? Which can result in people pleasing. That can be, that could be a negative thing, but the positive side is like, it can also be a huge source of motivation. And so I think with so many things,

Kim Benoy (30:33.986)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (30:43.906)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (30:50.509)
Right.

Stephanie Anderson (30:53.462)
We have to get back to the reason why we did it. We have to get, and like the commitment, and think that's oftentimes why so many people fall short of reaching their goals that they set for themselves is because the commitment becomes a little bit disposable or they don't make it strong enough. They don't have it, they don't put that level of meaning behind it. And...

Kim Benoy (31:04.546)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (31:17.293)
Right.

Stephanie Anderson (31:19.786)
And so that was, I just had it anchor back to that. I'd be like, okay, this is what's gonna happen either way.

Kim Benoy (31:23.382)
Yeah, yeah, I love that. So Stephanie, tell us a little bit about your coaching, how you help because you can tell us the name of your coaching and tell us about it, how you help.

Stephanie Anderson (31:35.641)
Yeah, so Renew Wellness is my business. There's several Renew Wellnesses out there. So this is renew-wellness.com is how to find it. I do, so kind of if I talk a little bit about my background, right, with consulting and have made a pivot, have always had a passion and desire for mentoring and coaching and developing others. So that's always been part of the work that I was doing.

Kim Benoy (31:44.215)
Okay.

Stephanie Anderson (32:04.888)
And really in the last about six years, it shifted to being what I do. Like what I do is leadership development, working with executives, working with a lot of people that can see the C-suite and kind of the level below and in more of a corporate setting. On the wellness side, so what's so interesting is in so many of my conversations,

especially with women, right? There's these senior executive women that have accomplished so much, but yet they still wrestle with the health aspect of things. They still wrestle with reaching a weight that they know where they would be healthier, where they would feel better, right? And so, and it's not because of lack of knowing what to do, right? It's not lack of knowing what to do.

Kim Benoy (32:52.386)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (32:55.66)
but more so working through what are those things, where are we getting in our way? So I work with my clients on identifying what is it that's getting in the way? What is it to shape something very specific to them based on their unique strengths, based on what has worked well for them, what are their patterns and help them develop simple systems that support them. Because it's those systems, those habits that we're building and really getting to a point where it's like boring.

Right? Where it's like systematized. It's like when people get to the point where it's boring, it's beautiful, but it's also a risky spot because people, that's where people have a tendency to give up. They're like, oh, this doesn't really feel like anything exciting is happening, but that's where the progress is being made. And I do a lot of work around neuroplasticity as well and how we change that. There's, there's this, there's this idea of people say, 21 days to form a new habit. That's actually not correct. Like 21 days is when

you start to form some change in your brain, but it's not sustainable. It's actually 63 days before it's more sustainable on its own. But I'll tell you, the 21 days is when it's exciting and it feels kind of hard. Between 22 and 63, it gets really boring, but that's when people need to put in the work. So I've been trained by Dr. Caroline Leath, who's an amazing woman. It's been wonderful to know her as well. But about that idea of

Kim Benoy (34:00.01)
interesting.

Stephanie Anderson (34:22.358)
you know, kind of these trees that we have in our head, these thought trees. And how do you, I even have this little kind of visual, like this is like a toxic tree, which basically if you were to imagine, kind of twisted with deep roots with something that is, that it's been there a while. And so kind of unwinding that and replacing it with something that's pretty, that's like a tree that can thrive on its own, right? And so like this physiology that happens in the brain where it's literally

changing the pathways and it's just, it's amazing. And so working with my clients to do that and also some people have this idea of it's just gonna be a easy path, straight line down, like the heels just gonna go down every week, two pounds and then it's just gonna be, so even like run the math. Okay, well how many weeks until I'm gonna be like.

It's messy, it's messy. And you know what, it's that roller coaster where you learn things and really wanting people to start with the end in mind and have that maintenance mindset from the very beginning so that when they get there, it's just comfortable. it's not, know, too many people get like, if you consider it like a race, too many people get to the finish line and then, you know, like that's it. just, you, it's a, it's very much a lifestyle. And so,

Kim Benoy (35:38.806)
Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (35:44.051)
I feel so privileged and blessed and excited to be able to do the work that I do, the conversations I get to have every day, the amazing people who I get to meet. And I learn so much from them. I mean, that's the thing. Like I am able to walk away and I'm learning new things, learning new, like for example, I was coaching a president of a consulting firm a few weeks ago who mentioned

the speed reading book. So now I'm like so excited about, there's a speed reading. How much time would I save if I learned how to speed read? it's just, it's, it's just to be able to meet people where they are, recognize what they need, remind them of the strengths that they have, remind them of what they have in them. And to be able to keep providing that encouragement. It's just, it's such, it's, I just feel so, so privileged to be able to, to sit in that seat and do that and pull from the experience that I have.

in corporate positions as well as my own personal journey. Now there's a saying of you're most equipped to help the person you used to be. And so for me that workaholic, overweight, people pleasing, right? Still things that I can struggle with, right? But I feel like I've gotten to other side of it. And I just want to be able to help other people do that too on their journeys.

Kim Benoy (36:46.893)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (36:55.948)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I think that's a sign of a good coach to that you're willing to learn and share and not be the, you know, you do it my way and that's it. type of person. So yeah, I love that. So if people want to get to know you and find out more about you, where would you like me to send them?

Stephanie Anderson (37:21.758)
So my website is Stephanie or not my email is Stephanie at renew-wellness.com. My website is renew-wellness.com. I've also been more and more active on Facebook and Instagram, which there are links to those on my website. And also if someone's interested in just kind of my professional background, LinkedIn is a good place to go for that.

Kim Benoy (37:34.125)
Okay.

Kim Benoy (37:37.752)
Okay.

Kim Benoy (37:43.341)
Okay.

Awesome. So you're still working as a business consultant and you're doing the coaching. Are you thinking down the line you're going to be moving away from the consulting and more into the coaching? Is that kind of the long-term plan?

Stephanie Anderson (37:50.528)
Yes, yes.

Stephanie Anderson (37:59.107)
So I have a problem in that I like doing everything. I like doing, I love doing that. So I'm bringing it together and that's one of the things that I feel like with being 50 is kind of the integration of everything. And so working with the wellness aspect while still working on the corporate side, but it's not just, it doesn't have to be a senior executive who I'm working with. I rolled out a program in January.

Kim Benoy (38:03.747)
Kim Benoy (38:11.149)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (38:25.836)
that's online based, that's meant to be very accessible, it's called Wellness Roadmap, that walks people through recognizing their strengths, how to leverage that, but really want to reach an impact more and more people. And just see where the journey goes. I mean, I've been very blessed to be having some amazing opportunities that's very corporate focused and working with leaders, which has been great, and bringing more of that wellness aspect into it, which is really my passion. So part of it too is just kind of in that,

Kim Benoy (38:37.357)
Mm-hmm.

Kim Benoy (38:46.083)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (38:55.714)
taking some time to pause. And that's actually what I'm planning on doing. I'm taking a few months off later this kind of late summer. And for that reason, just to kind of lean into it, lean into it. And most importantly too is just, especially having kids later in life, like I want to be there. Like I want to be there for my family. I want that flexibility. I don't want to be saying no to these things that...

Kim Benoy (39:04.738)
Nice.

Kim Benoy (39:09.272)
Yeah.

Kim Benoy (39:20.046)
Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Anderson (39:24.03)
relate to my family. And so that's the biggest thing is to be in a spot where I can be present for them, where I'm showing up with them, with kind of my best self, right? As much as possible, right? Again, not every day. Is that the case? But just to be able to be there. And so just kind of really being open to what's ahead, but just being really, really excited about the people I've been able to help.

Kim Benoy (39:38.156)
Yeah, great.

Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (39:53.4)
through the wellness program and through the wellness specific coaching.

Kim Benoy (39:55.18)
Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I think you are in a similar boat to probably a lot of the women listening out there, Stephanie, who had children later in life. And so we're in this phase where we're still we're focused on ourselves and what we need and what we need to do. But we also have these little people to take care of as well. And I think it's wonderful how you're kind of bringing everything together and looks like you're doing it all very well. So kudos to you. Yeah.

Stephanie Anderson (40:23.928)
Well, thank you. Thank you.

Kim Benoy (40:27.052)
Before we go, I'm so glad I get to talk to you more because I know you but usually I have to say well before we go but is there any one last little nugget of information or message you want to give our listeners?

Stephanie Anderson (40:31.448)
Hahaha

Stephanie Anderson (40:44.598)
Don't underestimate the small stuff, the little things, those little tweaks in how you think about things, those little changes that you can make. You know, the 1%, what that looks like over time is huge. And so sometimes we can be overwhelmed. And sometimes if people have tendencies towards perfectionism or all or nothing is put that aside and just see those little things. Even, even...

I also like to think, what are the time neutral things? What are the things that you can do that don't take any extra time? already have, we already are so busy juggling so many things, right? Like what are those things? So that's where those little tweaks in the mind, those ask formations, right? The, the thinking about how can you change your thought patterns? How can you take a moment to do a, do the Wonder Woman stand to change things like, but just these, these little things and recognizing that awareness, right? Taking time to pause, which again is a little thing, but just

taking 30 seconds to take a few deep breaths, experiment with it. It can make a difference.

Kim Benoy (41:45.474)
Love it. I love that so much. Thank you so much, Stephanie. This has been wonderful. I've so enjoyed talking to you and I know that I will talk to you again soon.

Stephanie Anderson (41:54.166)
Yes, thank you so much for having me Kim, it's been wonderful.

Kim Benoy (41:57.536)
Awesome. We'll talk to you soon.